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Dinosaurs, our shared history and future - by Bumble Bumbum

- Sat, 17 Aug 2013 16:55:43 EST iEYL2205 No.20505
File: 1376772943166.jpg -(844145B / 824.36KB, 2272x1736) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dinosaurs, our shared history and future - by Bumble Bumbum
The problem with /dino/ is that in todays mundane society aren't dinosaurs (blessed they are) as cool as they were back in the day.

According to Google Trends were dinosaurs most popular in 1929, which was the year when the first dinosaur skeleton was discovered by archaeologist Sir Dr. Howard Carter. After its discovery it didn't take long until other eager archaeologists flooded the deserts with their pickaxes and dug up more skeletons -"each more buttfuck ugly than the last", as the young John Loyd Stephens said in an interview about his hobby: Dinosauring.

Dinosaurs - name coined by Sir Carter - was the rave in intellectual discussion circles, speculating about these ghastly beasts and their origin. The knowledge of them quickly spread to the general population, where it became the most popular topic of smalltalk, even going as far as topping the Stock Market Crash and the weather.

In the memoirs of Sir Carter he wrote "Inquiries on the mystery that is the spectacular dinosaur has become the new meaning of humanitys existense: what they were, where they came from and where they went are questions that require answers. But... My heart is filled with sadness due to the fact that the dinosaurs we find all seem to be dead, which means that can't we question them about themselves. Aye, a pity it is...".

The mysterious dinosaurs gained climbing interest during the following decade, which came to be the most prosperous time in human history.
A new marked had been established: the Dino-market, which produced and sold dino- toys, dino-candy, dino-cuttlery, dino-clothes, dino-tools, dino-dynamite, dino- cars, dino-everything. Litterature on dinosaurs reached over various genres, amongst which were scientific, fictive, musicbooks, childbooks, pop-upbooks, and even erotic (RAAAWWR!); the list goes on. Anything could be turned into some form of dinosaur-esqe theme and it sold like melted butter, helping the US economy stand on its feet again after the recession. People were crazy about dinosaurs (much thanks to glorious advertising) and nothing but dinosaurs were on peoples minds and lips. There is no debate among economists and historians that without the discovery of dinosaurs and the commercialisation of them would the worlds economy have died and went extinct like the dinosaurs (may them rest in peace).

Despite the growing economy and love amongst the people problems arose...
When the second world war broke out. It changed how we viewed the world and the once golden future people had imagined alongside dinosaur-paraphernalia faded as it was instead replaced by a bleak and grey vision of the future where there was only war... and no dinosaurs.
The children that had been raised in the midst of the dino-craze were now the men and women who fought in the war; a cunning generation with such dinotastic courage that the fascistic dino-hating axis was deluded enough to challenge... The rest is history.

After the war, shamefully, wasn't the love for dinosaurs rekindled in the hearts of men.
The introduction of television, coca-cola and rock'n'roll to the general populace made dinosaurs seem less extravagant and yesterdays news (which was a plan by the fascist dino-hating axis to pussyfy their enemies and weaken our economy). Since then have dinosaurs been seen as "fucking lame", "only interesting for nerdy faggots" and "RAAAWRING!" (a way of saying 'boring' in old dinosaur-speak, which most people could speak fluently back in the 'Spring of the Dinosaur')

New trends emerged through the decades, but none were about dinosaurs. It seemed that the fascists had won after all...

Heroic efforts by the League of Extra-Cool Dino-Men were made to awaken the interest for dinosaurs amongst the populace, producing films such as 'Jurassic Park', 'The Land Before', 'Dinosaur' and 'WE'RE BACK!' (which were all totally financed by L.E.C.D.M), but the films didn't gain as much popularity as anticipated.

Right now all our hope lies with the upcoming 4th 'Jurassic Park' movie, which is the Leagues latest effort of making dinosaurs relevant again. In a press conference, held by the Leagues PR-consult Bridget "Feathers on Skin" McBlott, she told reporters that Jurassica Park IV would be the L.E.C.D.M's final go at re-popping dinosaurs.
She wnet on to say that "There is no money left. Nada. Zip-Zap-Stop. Finito. For decades has our organisation been funded with oil money, which dinosaur ghosts have graciously gifted us with, leading us to their ancient burialgrounds and letting us pump their Dino-Essence and use that money to fund our goodhearted dino-propaganda. Praise Dino!"
She went on to say that "Now the last drop of oil is gone so there is no financing to spread the sacred message of the Dino. Our tries of saving humanity from the coming financial collapse by sparking an interest in people for dino-merchandise, which would greatly boost our shared economical interests, have all failed. We beg for forgivness, gentle Dino Lords! Praise Dino", after which the whole conferenceroom started doing a ritualistic dinosaur mating-dance which ended in a tender farewell orgy between the reporters and the L.E.C.D.M.
"It was immensely beautiful and yet incredibly sad" said one of the reporters, "knowing that there wouldn't be anymore dinosaur films being made after JP IV, so we fucked eachother good and hard trying to show our devotion to the dinosaur spirit, despite the general populace being incredibly fucking ignorant for not liking dinosaurs!"

What will happen to our world economy depends on the upcoming films success on the box-office and wether it sparks a new love for giant lizards or not. All we can personally do is go watch the movie several times (NO PIRATING! IF YOU PIRATE JP IV YOU HATE DINOSAURS!) and spread the message of the dinosaurs.
You don't want our economy to collapse, do you...?

That's what I thought.
But before you go to the street and roar the dino-gospel to the heathens, remember this:

Love your neighbour as thy dinosaur.

Betsy Blimbleshit - Sat, 17 Aug 2013 19:43:52 EST NXpmxf03 No.20506 Reply
I already pirated JP 4.
It sucked.
Bumble Bumbum - Sun, 18 Aug 2013 04:32:39 EST iEYL2205 No.20507 Reply
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Well then YOU are what's wrong in this world today.

The L.E.C.D.M. sacrificed alot more than just money on this film project, just so that humanity could once again be reminded of what's important in life: Dinosaurs.
The quality of the film isn't what's important here. What's important is that it features dinosaurs and no matter how bad the script is doesn't the fact diminish that IT FUCKING HAS DINOSAURS. Everything else is in the film is just filling screentime because those amoebic hollywood executives think that there needs to be some humans forced in to the story. Wouldn't you agree that the film would be greatly better without the presence of any human? Yeah, so does everybody else! But the film isn't as "relatable" if there aren't any people in it, when actually we have as a species more in common with dinosaurs than we do with humans. The depiction of humans in cinema is greatly based on fiction and myth that couldn't be farther from reality, and the same goes for dinosaurs. They are far more awesome than what we can see on the movie screen but both the dinosaur actors and the editors have to tone down their awesomeness so that humans don't get overshadowed by their performance and feel bad about their inferiority.

So fuck you, Betsy Blimbleshit
You have the AUDACITY to roll in here and make claims that simply aren't true, and even ADMITTING your crimes of ILLEGALLY downloading this copyrighted product. If it was any other film then I'd bee all like "FUCK THE SYSTEM", but since we're talking about pirating this particular film is your behavior simply unacceptable. This is a film that actually needs our support so that our economy could have a slim chance of surviving the large meteor bubble that's about to explode on our ass, and it needs our help, damn it man! And on top of it all you come here, all cool and shit, and spread rumors that the film isn’t good, thwarting our noble cause which a member of /dino/ like yourself is supposed to be helping!? No true /dino/er does that. You are a simple shit spouting /wino/.
If you don’t want to help, fine wino, whatever sinks your boat. But when you oppose our efforts of saving our world then you force us to become your enemies, and if you didn’t know it yet let me tell you:

Graham Bindleway - Tue, 20 Aug 2013 03:45:38 EST XBkrduYd No.20514 Reply
you make a compelling and heartfelt argument for me to go look at dinosaurs even more,theres no need to go easy on it, you should be the President of the world
Bumble BumBum - Tue, 20 Aug 2013 12:40:27 EST UVHZLT67 No.20516 Reply
Such power belongs to no single individual. What the L.E.C.D.M. advocates is a new world assimiliation (N.W.A.) where a new atitude towards our dinosaur heritage is instigated in the common people, which would let every man be their own president and make their own presidential speeches as they please (as long as they would serve the will of the dinosaur spirit of course, otherwise they'll be eaten with hummus at the big cleansing feast.. But don't go tell anyone I told you about it because it's meant to be a surprise party. It will be totally OFF THE HOOKed claw of a velociraptor!
roflcoptr - Sat, 24 Aug 2013 03:43:38 EST gBsAyW7+ No.20533 Reply
threads like this remind me why /dino/ is the best board on this site.
Bumble Bumbum - Sat, 24 Aug 2013 19:42:23 EST iEYL2205 No.20534 Reply
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Through utilizing our powerful power,
the ancient art of Stereopsis Scrying,
are we able to harness the ability of witnessing the Future !

  • " A Gift granted by the gracious and gentle Lizard King,
    • not that Morrison bloke -
The Divine Demiurge, 9th dimensional Lizard King;
Guatzl *kqwrrt* Roaranga,
Ruler and honorable herder of the Incredible, Interdemensional Kingdom of Rèptôris Êgogth:
A shining diamond in the glistening Universea." -

The one Future we here at L.C.E.D.M. / Dinotech Inc. have seen through the power granted by [our beloved and praised] Guatzl Roaranga is that of a beautiful paradise, which is incidentally the greatest future our species could dream seeing one day, and the ultimate success for our Overlords.
Sit down, dear hatchlings, for I will present to you our vision of what is to become of this Earth.
The dawn of the Golden Roar!

We see before us a green and calm path, surrounded by nature.
There are soft, darkgreen trees with flower covered branches, from which a fresh scent of love spreads through the air.
With savour we breathe the air into our lungs - where it spreads throughout our minds and bodies and giving us a lighter, fresh mood.
There is such a calmness in the athmosphere that you start to breathe deeper and slower, letting your whole body feel the respiration inspire a new perspective in your thinking.
Let all the negative thoughts you have about dinosaurs disolve like steam through your skin pores, rendering you lighter and happier than you were before and feeling open for new ideas.
You are calm and at peace, feeling the love from the trees uplift and carry you through the path, towards a place where there is
A barbecue that is waiting for you.
There is a big fire lit in the middle of the place you have now entered.
Around the fire there stands before you the Lizard King Roaranga,
greeting you with a gesture to come closer to the fire.
He then asks you a question that you must get right or else you'll be grilled with a love branch, vertically stuck through your body and put above the fire, becoming crispy and then served with fava beans to Roaranga
The question Roaranga presents is:


You'll have 20 seconds until your time runs out

Suitable answers that qualify for a non-obliteration:
  • I am a vessel for the will of Roaranga
  • Nobody, in the prence of Roaranga
  • Waiting to be judged off the scale of Roaranga
  • The man I will become, a reptile like Roaranga
  • Roarangas bitch
  • The dude that is like.. me, but like, not me. Ya know?

or something along those lines.
(Notice how the last example is a question, which still is an answer? That's correct because all questions open up new questions, which is such a deep philosophical thought that even Roaranga might be impressed... Or it may enlargen Roarangas apetite... Who knows with that guy, he just lives in the moment. Like, eternally.
Those who answer the question correctly will gain the favor of the Lizard King, who becomes your teacher of that which is hidden and that which hides from what is hidden.
From there on out you're pretty much set with the King. He'll teach you about love and eating humans and other lower lifeforms, showing what's what in the eyes of a reptile. You'll be pumped with knowledge packed with such firepower that you'll explode from the overpressure of awesomeness, which gives a new understanding of what life is about.
Mainly dinosaurs
and sex.
Clara Gembletore - Tue, 27 Aug 2013 02:54:19 EST Zye/XIBJ No.20539 Reply
maybe thees is the booze speaking but, 20/10, post of the year
Bumble Bumbum - Mon, 02 Sep 2013 14:04:59 EST iEYL2205 No.20564 Reply
I just wish more people would post.
I'm having a ton of fun anyway writing this random shit , regardless of who reads it, but if it can serve as entertainment for somebody then I am glad.
Fucking Fullyshaw - Tue, 10 Sep 2013 04:37:00 EST gBsAyW7+ No.20587 Reply
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For this thread and all of your subsequent posts
William Pittway - Thu, 13 Feb 2014 17:25:19 EST r3hpoqMJ No.21137 Reply
I laughed, I cried, and had multiple orgasm. This tread is fucking gold Jerry, Gold!!!!
Charles Cacklechedge - Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:57:03 EST FRkrAJth No.22016 Reply
fuck dinos, dino suck.
Phyllis Smallridge - Fri, 05 Sep 2014 23:26:48 EST H7oNN5Wa No.22028 Reply
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thank you based Baracksays you are a paragon of integrity
Phineas Drennerwidge - Sat, 26 May 2018 23:12:29 EST Ep2urtQ+ No.23637 Reply
So how do people feel about dinos in the media with the new JP movie coming out?
Basil Bongerdock - Wed, 30 May 2018 20:06:28 EST xOASVpZd No.23639 Reply
I think dinos need to get into the third dimension. I think we've said everything we wanted to about dinos, but they're cool to look at and hear roar so lets get more 3d stuff to experience more dinos with.
Jarvis Crashlire - Fri, 01 Jun 2018 09:55:33 EST XmMMINN2 No.23640 Reply
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>According to Google Trends were dinosaurs most popular in 1929, which was the year when the first dinosaur skeleton was discovered by archaeologist Sir Dr. Howard Carter.

But that's wrong!
Charles Shakehood - Sat, 02 Jun 2018 20:46:50 EST Zj/mA5p+ No.23641 Reply
Yes, technically you're correct in that statement Mr. Crashlire.
Dr. Carter was knighted five years AFTER his bone-shattering discovery of Ducy the dinosaur skeleton, thus having the title of 'Sir' to his name not in 1929 but rather in June, 1934.

It was surely a simple mistake by the writer at the time and you did a great service by pointing it out. This part of our history is too valuable to be lost and damned to be deemed as "fake news" (or something along those lies) and thus losing its rightful credibility, because of simple typos like this.
Angus Wozzlefack - Mon, 04 Jun 2018 20:24:35 EST McNzWcVD No.23643 Reply
I don’t mind it. It introduces the public to dinosaurs they haven’t seen before, despite how inaccurate they may be. You go out and survey people before Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and ask them what a Sinoceratops is, they’ll have no idea. After the movie, do it again, and I can almost guarantee that they’ll know exactly what it is and rattle off a few facts about it. If anything, dinosaurs in media is good
Jarvis Pittdock - Wed, 06 Jun 2018 11:25:36 EST Utmvt722 No.23645 Reply
Dino's are all fake n gay anyways. They are nothing but Jew, illuminati dino propaganda anyways.
Lillian Fepperham - Sun, 29 Sep 2019 13:31:09 EST rbMYDVvH No.23815 Reply
Primal seems to be something which is intended to inspire us to regress back to our ancestorial minds, not in a malevolent sense, but rather to remind us of the reality which our ancestors' daily life consisted off; kill or be killed, live or die.

Of course, it's "just a cartoon" but the trailers invoke a very.. foreign yet familiar feeling within me, one that invokes me to concider an alternative way of living, not taking for granted the luxuries of the modern society but rather fight for one's own living.. bleh fuck
UnamusementPark !ikwaNLFmBo - Tue, 07 Jan 2020 19:41:31 EST jSpPiW4n No.23851 Reply
User is currently banned from all boardsUser is currently banned from all boards
roflcoptr - Sat, 28 Mar 2020 11:51:56 EST kDcs+sap No.23883 Reply
powerful thread 7 years later.

Reuben Blackwill - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 00:11:31 EST 7upBljl3 No.23888 Reply
We could have prevented the crisis if we'd all gone to see the JW movies...


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