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too deep into youtube

- Tue, 27 Aug 2019 10:15:12 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368072
File: 1566915312518.png -(1145173B / 1.09MB, 1279x679) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. too deep into youtube
careful with the dissos lads. this guy said he smoked a pound of diphenidine in a year. behold, pure dissociated insanity. he countless hours of videos like this. almost no views.
(potentially disturbing)


I figure someone's gotta see this
Ebenezer Mopperstutch - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 15:58:04 EST IloN6QLN No.368074 Reply
His first mistake was Diphenidine the asshole of /dissociatives/

Second mistake was smoking it.
Shitting Dibberfuck - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 16:04:53 EST 3jTm8tij No.368075 Reply
i fucking love channels like this, it's so hard to find them these days with the algorithm the way it is, i miss weird youtube
Frederick Senderfield - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 16:40:28 EST Y+fms25A No.368076 Reply
I can't be the only one. This sounds like he is straight out of the Beat scene of the 50's. Listen to Willam S. Borroughs and you will see what i mean.

>>368075 Also this.
William Clayforth - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 23:43:30 EST 3jTm8tij No.368088 Reply
1566963810177.png -(66954B / 65.38KB, 285x294) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
holy fuck this painting
Wesley Bluffinglot - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 00:56:02 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368090 Reply
1566968162285.jpg -(293381B / 286.50KB, 1802x1324) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
also pls don't give him shit in the comments guys I want him to keep making videos, can't get enough of this guy. Probably watched over 15hrs of his videos, no joke. I can feel my brain liquefying.

"I'm the Worlds super genius. One among but a handful, well it's highly competative what did you expect me come off with. Trip out on my drugs and you will understand 88,000,000,000,000x Euphoria thats 88 trillion. Its disgusting really, your actually in intense pain right now unless you are under the influence of somehthing deeep. Wake up."

"Respect the hippie or Sorry Jessica Stam I like Aileen's breasts
could have gone with I am god twiddling my thumbs
or fractal back Hartridge or I have a song on the way, hopefully a music video and so forth or wheres photoshop when you need it
or special effects in the video where's 3dsmax on the low?prop gun? suicide art? this could take some time...Pointing to the Salvia Plant, I ordered a plant today, hey Millions of dollars, Quartz crystal faith my weekness once a week 4 adore and I'm hoping for diphenidine crystal from the evidence locker waiting they're looking for it, and diphenidine powder online with bitcoin. Do your eyes work do your sex organs work, get paid."
William Clayforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 01:50:30 EST 3jTm8tij No.368093 Reply
I wouldn't comment on his videos, I don't want to enter his world, just observe it, and wonder if these are the shadows of the things that Will be, or are if they are shadows of the things that May be only

I really need to stop doing so many damn drugs

But my armchair opinion as someone who's bounced around psych wards is that the guy is legitimately schizophrenic or has some form of permanent psychosis, some of the thought disorganization is pretty distinct and different from how it would be on drugs from what I've experienced. And his apparent obsession with this Emily Hart girl, who he believes he has some direct connection to, as if he believes they already know each other, is pretty common among people who are schizophrenic. The late, great Terry A. Davis had this with some chick who went by the name Physics Girl, and unfortunately some shitty people took advantage of this because he was already so public at the time, and impersonated her and got him to do a lot of depraved things. His confusion about his relationship with her was probably a big contributing factor to his suicide. It's shit like that which is why I'm really hesitant to share these sort of cases when I find them.

But hey, for me I'm at least mostly past the age where schizophrenia would've developed, and you can't just give it to yourself unless you would've already gotten it anyway I'm pretty sure, so looks like so far I've managed to only get BPD and BD with psychotic features. But I've got a lot of life left to ruin.

>A combination of strychnine and PCP

I would legitimately consider doing that
Wesley Bluffinglot - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:07:13 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368095 Reply
agreed. From what I can gather, he has pretty intense schizophrenia and enthusiasm, ADHD, and bipolar, but I'm just a layman.
His obsession with these famous girls is so interesting - he seems to try and manifest them into being by taking high doses of deleriants and dissos. He has a lifelong obsession with 1 or 2 other girls, just because they gave him some minor attention over a decade ago. One of which apparently asked him out in grade 6, he declined thinking it to be too good to be true, and has been fantasising about her ever since. It's quite sad really. Emily Hartridge died a month or two ago and it seems like he refuses to believe that she did.
Cyril Gablingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:12:01 EST IloN6QLN No.368096 Reply
Don't diagnose people if you haven't been trained in how to diagnose most of the time your wrong.
Cyril Gablingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:14:01 EST IloN6QLN No.368097 Reply
Idk who's more sad this poor bloke living his own life his own highs and lows or you punks gossiping about his life in the deep dark corner of the Internet called /dis/.

Who let all the kids from /weed/ into the board.
William Clayforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:22:51 EST 3jTm8tij No.368102 Reply
i never go on weed dude, i don't even really like weed at this point in my life, and i'm not him but i specifically said i wasn't diagnosing the guy, just saying what i've seen, i've been around a lot of people with schizophrenia and I've been around a lot of people high on a lot of different drugs, i never said it was anything but anecdotal

also i'm not "gossiping" about these people, I'm just interested in the different places the mind can go, in a there before the grace of god go I kind of way, as someone who's spent months in behavioral care and is not changing the trajectory of their life at all
William Clayforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:25:16 EST 3jTm8tij No.368103 Reply
also he specifically uploads these videos to YouTube and is aware that he has followers, we aren't doing anything wrong, and I've stressed multiple times how wrong fucking with people like him is
Cyril Gablingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:36:32 EST IloN6QLN No.368104 Reply
Chill out man I get it. Just ignore my last comment I'm pretty blasted on benzos and dxm so I may blow things a lil out of proportions lets just chill n enjoy the show..
Wesley Bluffinglot - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 02:49:19 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368105 Reply
agreed. He's putting his life on youtube for all to see, if we don't harass him or act negatively towards him I don't see the problem. It's a fascinating insight into someone's life, something nobody would ever be able to see otherwise. It's basically outsider art.
Jenny Pickwill - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 03:46:19 EST bTI8z+o9 No.368106 Reply
Don't do DXM. Even once and... YOU COULD TURN OUT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!
Fucking Fodgeforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:22:12 EST 3jTm8tij No.368118 Reply
1567041732182.jpg -(5329198B / 5.08MB, 3024x2995) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
apparently I'm already there, i did this on 300mg DXM (which since I'm on Wellbutrin is quite a bit) and a shit ton of ambien, like 40-60mg across the night, and this is fucking wild, I have no recollection of doing this or even being on a thought train related to what little I can make of it, did it in my calc notebook and found it just now a couple days later when I went to study

Fucking Fodgeforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:32:45 EST 3jTm8tij No.368119 Reply
this took for ever but I've translated what I could but it still makes no fucking sense

Top part:
the Free Territory of ...

canctum(sic) <-> Village

Crossed out part:
>coneo (sic) concert is that I who has thus faith been me discretely. an exercise

Bottom part:
>goals: break apart these discrete entities I perceive into the ??? (their?) energy constituer(n)ts
>[to serve better ?????]
>one grand being directs but does not Rule these forces

damn this shit is like journeying into your mind in retrospect, i wish I could remember what it was like to be this fucking out there
Fanny Broffingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:33:11 EST Tw8O+9JO No.368120 Reply
I'm terrible at reading cursive because I never learned it but from what I can read it's not all that insane
Fanny Broffingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:34:18 EST Tw8O+9JO No.368121 Reply
>i wish I could remember what it was like to be this fucking out there
iktfb but once it happens its like a seed that stays in your mind forever, even if you never notice it again
Fucking Fodgeforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:34:53 EST 3jTm8tij No.368122 Reply
also i like how i was clearly trying to figure out how to spell "wheel" in the side there and then just didn't use the word at all
Fucking Fodgeforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:36:43 EST 3jTm8tij No.368123 Reply
I think isolated it does make some semblance of sense but I want to know what grander thought processes were going on, what the fuck is with the free territory shit? why did I want to know how to spell "wheel"? how does the "to serve better ???" part fit into the equation
Fanny Broffingson - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:41:21 EST Tw8O+9JO No.368125 Reply
You gotta start journaling (assuming you haven't) what happens and practice maintaining your trip thoughts after your trips
It's like waking up from a dream where thoughts get stored in short term and fuck off as soon as something "real" (usually meaningless drama) happens that supersedes them. You have to willfully deny that instinct to discard and assign them to a more permanent space so you can build them in the long term. Eventually it becomes second nature.
Fucking Fodgeforth - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:52:02 EST 3jTm8tij No.368126 Reply
1567043522182.jpg -(556597B / 543.55KB, 1596x1172) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Hang on, maybe I was on some Gestalt/Korzybski shit, it seems like I really wanted to emphasize that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, but I also seem to think any whole can be divided into smaller parts infinitely, which is what, anti-atomism? is that a thing? Korzybski came up with the idea of "non-aristotelian logic" as in seeing things horizontally and avoiding viewing concepts discretely, as outlined in this, and the 13th Floor Elevators probably influenced my philosophical beliefs more than any other band

Jack Boddlenad - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 23:11:17 EST 5jeIeiOh No.368132 Reply

I love stuff like this, it's terrifying. Thank you for this gem. I am diving deep into his channel now.
Nell Cellerstut - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 01:09:07 EST nuYtZQJl No.368134 Reply
this is fucking amazing yet highly disturbing at the same time. it reminds me of my month and a half long LSD+ketamine binge many years ago. i thought i was a wizard, literally, and tried to expel a demon from my girlfriend. writing glyphs on the garage floor with chalk, attempting to do non-existent spells. godspeed crazy diphenidine man.
Ernest Sashfetch - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 01:52:49 EST fE8BQRsP No.368136 Reply
Haha no worries, I'm glad others are appreciating his work as much as me. I've listened to him ramble for so damn long it's hard to think in full sentences. Greatest outsider artist/poet of all time. Eat your heart out Ginsberg
Betsy Honeyforth - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 07:51:58 EST 76gXaXcy No.368137 Reply
this man has tapped into the akashic records lmao
"pass around the god brain" lol.
"i solved the riddle"
oh man.. thanks for sharing..
also why do i feel like i have met this type of person before. pure offworlder
Betsy Honeyforth - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 07:58:21 EST 76gXaXcy No.368138 Reply
this man has tapped into the akashic records lmao
"pass around the god brain" lol.
"i solved the riddle"
oh man.. thanks for sharing..
also why do i feel like i have met this type of person before. pure offworlder

"cancer is too easy to cure" kek

this dude talks like one of the homeless lunatics in my town.. maybe it is him we cant be certain.
Betsy Honeyforth - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:02:31 EST 76gXaXcy No.368139 Reply
the rape stuff at the end worries me.. i hope he never acts on that impulse.. something tells me he has
James Banningdock - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:15:54 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368142 Reply
loll I have a knack for ending up in lonely corners of the internet. In this case it was as easy as searching 'diphenidine' on youtube in the hopes of finding something interesting. I think I got more than I bargained for.

Even after I dunno how many hours of watching this guy, I'm finding out more and more. It's kind of weird that I know so much about him but he doesn't even know I exist.

Also I'm trying to figure out how the hell he managed to crash front on into an orange tree at 123mph without wearing a seatbelt, breaking the glass with the top of his head, and walked away unscathed. He says the DMT he smoked before it saved him, or something like that.
Betsy Honeyforth - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:27:15 EST 76gXaXcy No.368143 Reply
he might be a actual wizard lmao. shits fascinating. i feel like some weird anthropologist. thanks for sharing this.
James Banningdock - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:27:57 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368144 Reply
From what I can gather, he's polite towards women in person and hasn't done anything like that before.
However, if what he says is true, his mom did send him to a mental hospital for a few weeks when he beat her after smoking PCP. I have no idea how she's so tolerant. It must be heartbreaking to see your son like that.
In one video he contemplates taking a knife to his 92-year old stepdad, which seemed kind of like an intrusive thought, and said he wouldn't do that. I'm still a bit worried though. If he uploads anything seriously fucked at least I will find out very quickly, and he's given enough clues about his location that I know his address etc. I really really hope he gets better somehow and soon. He's so oddly talented with art & the piano, and intelligent at times, it's such a waste :(

...I think I'm a little too emotionally invested in this. I'm in too deep hellllllllllllllllp
James Banningdock - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:35:23 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368145 Reply
thank you, I'm glad you appreciate this, it felt lonely and weird being probably the only person to binge watch his videos.

> i feel like some weird anthropologist
fucking lol! that's so right. My partner observed me watching him (and copped a fair few vids herself) and was fascinated by my 'notekeeping' about him. said I should be a detective, hah. weird anthropologist for sure tho lmao
Jack Boddlenad - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:56:26 EST 5jeIeiOh No.368146 Reply

You have any PDF or anything about notable information you have dug up watching his videos? I'm jumping into the deep end. I'm getting my Masters in Psych right now, with the intent to go into the research field of mental illness and substance abuse. This guy fascinates me.
James Banningdock - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 09:03:26 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368147 Reply
Oo very cool. I could probably type something up, but since it's just in my head there are few exact quotes and idk which piece of info came from what video. I can email you if you like?
Jack Boddlenad - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 11:41:06 EST 5jeIeiOh No.368149 Reply

awesome, that would be great. Just a starting place. But I don't think we are allowed to post email addresses here
Simon Pizzlekeck - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 11:50:21 EST 1tpnrEB8 No.368150 Reply
lol just like the pdf here, like put it in a mega or something. Can't possibly hurt anything as long as u don't have any personal info in it beyond what this disshead already says in his vids. nb
Simon Pizzlekeck - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 11:51:53 EST 1tpnrEB8 No.368151 Reply
1567093913338.jpg -(34362B / 33.56KB, 605x452) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
*just post the pdf here*

fuckin morning posting before my redbull nb
Betsy Honeyforth - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 12:20:52 EST 76gXaXcy No.368156 Reply
i used to want to be a detective. humans are fucking fascinating. i used to wanna be fox mulder pretty much
John Bankindun - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 21:41:52 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368159 Reply
1567129312073.png -(55476B / 54.18KB, 656x658) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Alright, it feels realllly fucking weird but I have a file on him now. I'll remove any personal info that isn't obvious or repeated often in his videos. I've done a fair amount of digging..

Also, does anyone know how one would go about downloading all his videos? I'm afraid that one day they won't be on youtube anymore and these masterpieces will be lost forever.

Here you go: https://textuploader.com/1rj9e
I'm definitely missing some interesting info, will update when I have more.
I also want to collect his text poems, the list at the bottom is obviously incomplete.
David Winderway - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 22:59:55 EST pGmCajOc No.368160 Reply
where can i find more about the DMT suicide attempt. is it on youtube? im gonna start searching but figured id ask
John Bankindun - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 23:03:07 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368161 Reply
he talks about it a lot, I'm not sure in which videos though. He shows a couple pictures of his rekt car too. no clue how he managed to survive that.
David Winderway - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 23:15:21 EST pGmCajOc No.368162 Reply
if u remember which vids pls link. theres so much content to sift thu here
David Gisslekatch - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 23:18:07 EST 5jeIeiOh No.368163 Reply
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This is amazing thank you.

I want to let you know I have no intent to comment, like/dislike, or do anything on his videos. Also I will not share his videos. I don't want him to get scared and stop posting. I am going to start going through his videos start to finish tomorrow, with notepad open documenting anything important. I'm probably going to write some long paper for my masters on this, redacting his name and not showing his face of corse . god what a find. I am looking into how to download youtube videos
John Bankindun - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 23:36:20 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368164 Reply
Will do. Yeah, it took me hours of watching before I started answers more questions than his videos were raising.

holy shit that's amazing, thank you! I'm so so happy that someone is as passionate about him as I am. Please share any notes you make! <3 <3
If we can get a mega link going with all his videos that would be so good. Unfortunately internet is total shit where I am so any downloading/uploading takes forever, but if it's gotta be done it's gotta be done.
I'd also like to have a list of all his available written poetry, which I'll compile as I go.
I wonder how he's going to react when he's gained like 10 subscribers overnight lol
Martha Furringhall - Fri, 30 Aug 2019 09:36:11 EST nE08s+pN No.368169 Reply
shiiiiiiiiit i found this guy a while back on one of my dex binges, really wild shit he posts lmao
David Gisslekatch - Fri, 30 Aug 2019 18:59:33 EST 5jeIeiOh No.368188 Reply
1567205973425.jpg -(192977B / 188.45KB, 1226x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

found two more. a red and a green version. I would pay a bunch of money for one lol
Edwin Basslestatch - Fri, 30 Aug 2019 20:00:29 EST W5a2mrYV No.368190 Reply
Holy shit, I've seen plenty of junkie youtube channels but this guys fucking out there man. Truly something else. The lonely wizard who sits upon his throne is an apt description. Thank you for sharing OP.
Charles Bevinghall - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 02:49:37 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368200 Reply
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How good! He might sell one to you for a trillion dollars lmao
I kind of want to buy an artwork of his too but I'm a little hesitant

yeah, I don't think it's possible to be more far out without being in an institution. It's a miracle we're able to witness this at all
Hannah Bruffingcocke - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 08:01:07 EST LORrHqXK No.368205 Reply
It's a sick cosmic joke to be born as a human.
Fanny Lighthood - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 10:24:13 EST 3jTm8tij No.368207 Reply
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I wonder how he functions, he smokes weed and does other drugs other than DXM and RCs so he clearly knows people, I wonder what it's like to be his dealer. Does he have friends? He has to. He lives with people in what looks like a drug den. Who does he live with? Friends? Family?

He reminds me a lot of Charles Freck from A Scanner Darkly
Edwin Basslestatch - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 18:06:05 EST W5a2mrYV No.368224 Reply
He lives with his mom and stepdad apparently. It'd be a trip to know that guy I tell you what.
Isabella Bashbury - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 19:02:30 EST bTI8z+o9 No.368233 Reply
This guy became so schizo that people actually started following him (i.e. those of you in this thread)
Fanny Lighthood - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 19:20:20 EST 3jTm8tij No.368235 Reply
hang on, what if this guy is the shizoposter 8oPqdNBF

was he banned? haven't seen them post in a while
Random Name - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 19:32:58 EST IloN6QLN No.368238 Reply
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NAH THE Schizotard is just "compiling secret evidence" that is going to put an end to DPH/DXM cult of trippiness. He has already indicted the Dexpope and is going after the holy Robochurch next.

Be on the lookout for Schizotard Returns: Evidence Unleashed Part 3 coming to an image board near you.
Basil Drettingdale - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 00:01:11 EST C1fVo2IR No.368256 Reply
OP here, can we crown this guy as our disso king?
I'm on Ephenidine rn and this shit is fascinating. I feel like I'm tapping into his world
Esther Clinkinbatch - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 01:22:10 EST 3jTm8tij No.368258 Reply
i wish i was strung out on manic dissos rn, i'm just on 300mg dxm and a fifth of vodka, which is nice, but i really want some pcp or an analog or to try diphenedine
Phineas Clecklenudging - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 01:27:07 EST bTI8z+o9 No.368259 Reply
He's channeling the schizo energy, like powering up his own dissociative spirit bomb
Sophie Panderwurk - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 23:25:34 EST W5a2mrYV No.368281 Reply
I'm impressed that you're able to type on 300mg of dxm and a fifth. Personally, mania inducing dissos kind of freak me out, so I'm more partial to the sedative ones.
Phineas Sudgestad - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 01:33:44 EST +y5AJZLx No.368286 Reply
Really? Then you'd love me. I have a terrible DXM habit and could pass a highway DUI test on 700mg.
Charlotte Perrynig - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 06:17:16 EST 3jTm8tij No.368288 Reply
that was 300mg on Wellbutrin too and I got some more liquor but not that much more, I'm still incredibly fucked up and haven't really slept, I've just been nodding in and out this entire time.
David Hongernutch - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 17:07:43 EST br/7EUOR No.368295 Reply
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This is why I stay away from RCs. I've never heard of this happening to people from DXM and nitrous.
Hugh Sicklestock - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 18:19:03 EST 80jRtMVP No.368297 Reply
Nitrous is very safe but this absolutely happens to people from abusing DXM longterm, especially if they mix it with anticholinergics
Charlotte Neffinghun - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:59:48 EST amI2OBiY No.368299 Reply
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>Terry Davis
God I miss him... It's been a year now, hasn't it...
Phoebe Clayford - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:35:15 EST y6itDpiA No.368304 Reply
the trick is typing in something insane then click "last day" or "last hour"
Just try "flat" or "Government"
Fucking Mullersen - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 22:25:35 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368308 Reply
This definitely can happen with DXM. I mean this case is pretty extreme but DXM can trigger pretty wack delusions. ('''plateau sigma'''' anyone?)

awesome thank you for this tip ima have a lot of fun
Jack Samblebury - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 07:46:21 EST br/7EUOR No.368325 Reply
I wouldn't doubt that it happens but I presume you'd have to binge on it. I've used DXM less than a dozen times in the 5 or so years since I first tried it so I think I'll be ok.

Is diphenidine addictive or something? I love DXM but it takes courage for me to take it if that makes sense.
Caroline Blytheman - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 21:31:42 EST Ezw7w5PG No.368342 Reply
I'm similarly hesitant about DXM. Last time it spiked my blood pressure so high my head was throbbing for days. never again. (700mg dose)

Lots of people seem to say that vaping Diphenidine is more compulsive/moreish/pleasurable than heroin.
Lydia Surringgold - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 23:14:00 EST y6itDpiA No.368345 Reply
Im hesitant about working out. last time i benched 800 and ran half the boston marathon, including blocking the shrapnel with the strongest part of my tooth enamel, i was so wrung out. I was sore for a week

jokes aside, do like 350 or 400. At worst it will just be kinda weird o' clock
i dont know shit, but i think DXM is just like too much matter to vape
Gone City !!+/vc2Lwt - Wed, 04 Sep 2019 05:33:55 EST UAqQJOKE No.368356 Reply
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Jesus fuck, I really need to buy some diphenidine.. Next paycheck, no doubt.
Jack !fXGyYTYKEM - Wed, 04 Sep 2019 06:07:39 EST JxDK8LR6 No.368358 Reply
I get the "courage" thing. The act of taking DXM is ...harsh, whichever form you use. It's definitely breaking a taboo, too. Taking my first couple of lines (oxy) was difficult in that way. Never shot up, probably never will.

Snorting powder, at this point? Usually fairly painless, and the act itself is enjoyable. Like a lot of people, with some drugs I find that's almost the best part. It's been a long time since I tried diphenidine, or any of the related RCs that came out around the same time. Doesn't stand out in my mind, but it definitely has its adherents.
Jack Goodson - Wed, 04 Sep 2019 11:16:00 EST br/7EUOR No.368368 Reply
When I say it takes courage for me to use DXM I don't mean I'm afraid I'll suffer any ill effect, it's just a weird experience. DXM is one of my favourite drugs but it's just such a different experience, otherworldly, non-euclidean even because sometimes I feel like I'm moving in all directions simultaneously. It's like I turn into an MC Escher painting. That and I always vomit and there's an uncomfortable body load up until I'm fully dissociated, at which point the body high is comfy.
Gone City !!+/vc2Lwt - Wed, 04 Sep 2019 11:54:39 EST UAqQJOKE No.368369 Reply
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Salvia is intimidating like that. It's the only substance that makes me nervous every single time.
Fanny Murddock - Thu, 05 Sep 2019 01:57:56 EST pGmCajOc No.368387 Reply
the vomiting will end in time. i think ur stomach gets used to it??? or maybe ur psyche does... i dont know.. i know it makes u vomit because of 1. weird shit in ur belly and 2. that part of your brain that controls ur cough and gag relex is getting LIT AF and gets confused. maybe its just me but i found the vomiting went away after a few years of use
Emma Crillyworth - Wed, 23 Oct 2019 07:02:40 EST nnysQRxI No.369207 Reply
What a disgusting waste of life
Molly Bunfuck - Thu, 24 Oct 2019 14:10:56 EST gpD2gVMy No.369237 Reply
Been using DXM every day for years. It's my favorite drug, I met one other person with this habbit so far and he had a similar report. Maybe un-coincidentally we were both facing prison time for violent felonies when we met. I don't find it to be scary and I love everything about it. One strange thing that seems to be unique to me is that the drug changes my voice and I always get compliments on how people like the sound of my voice or other people ask me why it sounds like I'm whispering.

I think I threw up once in a few thousand times of use. It was from syrup too which I don't fuck with anymore. What I've noticed after taking about half a year off is that it's now impossible for me to cum when I'm using DXM (before it was only more difficult but still very possible) and.. that's about it.

I never was afraid of this drug and I think it gets a lot of un-deserved hate,etc. Like people worrying about "psychosis" and going crazy and whatever else, brain damage, etc. I've never really had anything scary happen except when I was younger it made me go out doing graffiti and urban exploration and vandalizing property and I got into some street altercations in the middle of the night with strangers and just wild shit like that as I was trying to figure out how to become a man. I got some cool scars and now people that were around me during that time see me as a lunatic but I feel OK and I like myself.
Phoebe Dammerwene - Sat, 26 Oct 2019 16:40:24 EST 3jTm8tij No.369267 Reply
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what truly meaningful things have you accomplished in your life? you can't speak for anyone else, because the only meaning life has is what we give it, life is a game where the rules are made up and the points don't matter, each of us gets to decide what our life is for
Cornelius Figglestone - Sun, 27 Oct 2019 01:37:44 EST PNAmx/HJ No.369278 Reply
>>368159 did anyone save this?, or could op authenticate?, i am too interested in this.
stoned chocobo - Sun, 27 Oct 2019 09:23:22 EST Kn362rnJ No.369285 Reply
interested aswell

side note, anyone know why bitstamp wont take cards anymore?
Lillian Billingbury - Sun, 27 Oct 2019 11:33:46 EST pGmCajOc No.369289 Reply
LMAO i passed a sobreity test on about that dose.. i was like... no fuckin way.. HAH
Frangle Dinglefuck - Sat, 02 Nov 2019 13:17:24 EST AVipPYEY No.369370 Reply
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>>368072 He reminds me of the tweaker from Breaking Bad that was in Jesse's house just rambling about chain-linked fences.
Jenny Dramblehire - Sat, 02 Nov 2019 23:41:51 EST 7A+B4Vh8 No.369376 Reply
Hi, OP here. I still have the file I'm just more hesitant to post it here since he's slowly gaining more traction and I don't want anything weird to happen. (80 subs whaat)

yeah it's so strange seeing the difference in his speech across time and also on different drugs. Some vids like his latest one have that classic DXM whisper that
>>369237 mentioned.

On another note, I've had to stop doing dissos (3meopcp and ephenidine mostly) as I'm worried it is damaging my brain. Weekly use has made it harder to recall words for things, and just a general loss of eloquence. Everything's a bit foggier and clumsier than it used to be. If anyone has any tips about dealing with this I'd love to hear about it
Edwin Hammerded - Mon, 04 Nov 2019 00:44:11 EST 7A+B4Vh8 No.369385 Reply
Looks like he's back on the Diphenidine, vids are about to get more interesting
Henry Boddlechore - Mon, 04 Nov 2019 11:11:32 EST gpD2gVMy No.369388 Reply
Well, I checked out that video and he is actually just whispering. In my case my voice actually gets altered in a strange way but I talk at a normal volume. This guy scares me a little bit.
Basil Crablingshaw - Sat, 09 Nov 2019 15:14:27 EST 6sAkZYbz No.369454 Reply
I've heard noopept or piracetam/other -racetams can help with disso brain fog. I haven't tried them myself since I haven't gone hard enough to warrant it, but some former users have recommended them for recovering. Memory exercises should help too, or really anything that requires flexing your brain like they recommend for people with early signs of dementia.
Albert Dinningted - Sat, 09 Nov 2019 16:19:07 EST gpD2gVMy No.369455 Reply
I'm not a scientist but from my own use I noticed two things:

  1. Brain fog dissipated from over time through continuous use.

2.Confidence and your level of comfort when high can affect your mental performance, for instance if you're thinking about how you're high and consciously at times focusing on trying to not give it away to anyone that you encounter

I completely agree with your recommendation of exercising your brain though.
Lillian Papperbark - Sun, 17 Nov 2019 18:33:18 EST oJ3nfLbc No.369590 Reply
but if you put down farm animals with fentanyl wouldn't there be fentanyl in the meat?
James Niblingham - Mon, 18 Nov 2019 08:07:16 EST N3kc0ans No.369594 Reply
Drugs don't get stored in muscle tissue. Fentanyl is lipophilic, so it does get stored, to some degree, in fat cells, but the logitistics of it being distributed and stored in fat cells, in combination with how small of an amount you'd have to use, means the amount that may be present in the meat is going to be clinically negligible... far below a threshold dose.

Even if they didn't drain the blood and included it, and it didn't somehow get cooked out or drained by the people cooking it, it would be so dilute from being in so much blood that even that would be clinically negligble.
James Niblingham - Mon, 18 Nov 2019 08:12:00 EST N3kc0ans No.369595 Reply
Btw he wasn't talking about fentaynl either, he was talking about OH-ME-fentaynl. It's 28x more potent than fentanyl is, which just adds to my original point.
Eugene Duddlestone - Mon, 18 Nov 2019 21:47:13 EST mgMw6HAE No.369608 Reply
/dis/ is gold again
thank fuck people like this still exist
Angus Smallridge - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 02:38:26 EST JIx0qN0n No.369615 Reply
at first i was fascinated, but this shit is dark yall. he talks in some of his videos about some dark shit, rapey shit, violent stuff. his latest vid from yesterday, around 5min starts saying something about how 'speaking of date rape... starbucks is always unsuccessful for me.. this part on my shirt is my hand over her mouth... ' then even he himself says 'this is geting dark, nah stop' and changes subjects..

if he hasn't already hurt somebody, he is going to.. this shit is crazy.
Nigel Durryridge - Wed, 20 Nov 2019 00:16:09 EST gpD2gVMy No.369625 Reply
He's fine leave him the fuck alone. Worry about actual criminals.

Stop watching horror movies and being a scared person. You don't know what's going through his head. Maybe it's like that marble hornets shit years ago on jewtube. It's all fake, you know?
Fanny Smallhall - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 23:21:26 EST hJc+BO42 No.369644 Reply
there was a youtuber who I can't find anymore who would make the same video of him pouring 30mg of robocough into the cup over and over again.
He had a video of him ranting much more coherently than this guy about how dxm is some miracle drug that can cure illnesses and regenerate limbs.
Was always preaching that microdosing was the best way to use dxm
Jesus Christ - Sat, 23 Nov 2019 02:05:13 EST zQxVoU9f No.369661 Reply
Does microdosing dxm equal taking cold medicine as directed? If so thats pretty funny to have come full circle
Martha Chibblelock - Wed, 27 Nov 2019 01:52:22 EST mgMw6HAE No.369703 Reply
nb, but if you actually really watch the video it gets real weird, and one of his recent videos he says MOM I JUST SNORTED A LINE OF 3MEOPCP after you see him loudly speaking gibberish in the kitchen, after he goes to his room and sees oil burners and whatnot laying in plain view, so his mom knows whats g oing on which is pretty bad in itself, not judging his life and his struggles, but this dude is definitely disturbed and should probably undergo constant therapy and get sober none the less
Phineas Handlelire - Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:13:16 EST Bdu4lY4p No.369704 Reply
the fact that he paints makes me feel like such a fucking failure. i have absolutely zero to contribute to this world.
Ian Clayhood - Wed, 27 Nov 2019 14:58:41 EST c6XeZ/jO No.369719 Reply
this comment is a valid contribution, look it even got an equal & opposite response
Rebecca Cublingville - Thu, 28 Nov 2019 12:54:00 EST 2eSWU+7t No.369732 Reply
who cares? i don't mean that in an antagonistic way, either.
Hamilton Sandlewidge - Thu, 28 Nov 2019 14:02:31 EST JJRJQ27l No.369735 Reply

The part of yourself that knows you have potential you aren’t realizing. If your heart no longer speaks to you in that way, well, at least you won’t be tormented by it anymore, eh?
Rebecca Dallerforth - Thu, 28 Nov 2019 22:15:12 EST 1Acwdd7D No.369739 Reply
he probably didn't start out that good, people have natural talent but almost anyone can learn SOME form of artistic expression if they're willing to fail a lot, people just don't want to take that first step and do art that looks like a primary school student did, but that's kind of how you have to start, no one has to see your shitty drawings, just keep improving
Simon Crillerham - Fri, 29 Nov 2019 02:25:28 EST IYwfgKVz No.369740 Reply
then take up painting? quit wasting your time and energy on self pity and self loathing and spend it creating instead.
Walter Bemmledock - Fri, 29 Nov 2019 12:57:09 EST SbwfkfyM No.369745 Reply
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This. After 23 years of only dabbling in music, with the video game rock band and then playing the drums at friends houses for fun, I realized music and writings was what mattered to me most deeply and I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I started simple, getting an acoustic guitar off craigslist so I could develop some sense of tone and song-writing without overwhelming myself, then came a second-hand drum set, and most importantly a second hand midi keyboard I could hook up to my computer. It was a slow process of hating everything I made (being a music lover first and incessantly comparing myself to all of the greats I idolized) but after months of leaving it to collect dust, then returning to it, and back again, I'm finally to the point where I have a creative work-flow that I can't wait to dive back into every day. There are so many resources on the internet for learning anything you could possibly want to do, and if money is an issue then piracy is always an option. After a couple of months of fully embracing it, I still rarely make a song I actually enjoy listening to, but I feel myself getting better every day, and I know that if I keep at it in a few years I'll be able to make things I'm really proud of.

I didn't let myself realize it for so long because I couldn't work up the courage to truly try, because I knew if I failed I would have nothing left. I still catch myself wishing I had pulled back the curtain sooner, but there's no time like the present as they say. You have no obligation to be the person you were five minutes ago.


Oh hey it's captain obvious, what're you up to these days friend?>>369739
Jack Drendlened - Sun, 01 Dec 2019 18:58:17 EST FxIb0M9k No.369773 Reply
anyone know whether there's some kind of instagram archive which lets you search for all the comments a specific account has made? wondering because I happened onto this guy's instagram just now and it'd be insightful to have an overview at hand

also what a find OP, thanks for sharing, even if you regret doing so by now. may not have made my night any easier, but certainly a lot more interesting
Nigel Clinkinstone - Sun, 01 Dec 2019 19:25:30 EST FxIb0M9k No.369774 Reply
welp seems like there's at least a dozen of those accounts, guess I'm really just scratching the surface here, easy to see how this rabbit hole can keep people up all night, wild stuff
Fucking Bruffingbanks - Tue, 03 Dec 2019 07:39:11 EST xs+nQHsu No.369809 Reply
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(OP here)
Don't worry if there's evidence of him actually doing something seriously fucked I'll be onto it, I watch his stuff as soon as it is uploaded.

yeah would be interesting to see a comment archive from his various instagrams. pretty sure he only used it to message Aileen and the others, and just made new ones when they blocked him.

& lol no worries. Everyone has been more or less respectful so far/keeping their distance so I don't regret it yet, glad you guys find it interesting too. Seeing him go from 20 or 30-something subscribers to 109 just from this thread is kind of surreal though.

It's probably a matter of time until something happens and I do regret it. Please just continue observing at a distance lads x

hah yep I don't want to think about how many tens of hours I've spent trawling through all his shit. my girlfriend thinks I'm the crazy one now! she does ask me fairly regularly how he's doing so we're both a bit emotionally invested in him lol
Ian Fabberdedge - Wed, 18 Dec 2019 17:43:33 EST mgMw6HAE No.370044 Reply
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Are you me? When i was younger i did alot of graffiti and urbex (on dxm), i still do just not on dxm, or haven't in a while atleast lol. thats fuckin awesome dude

nb because unrelated to the thread
James Lightbury - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 10:25:36 EST Tui9I58F No.370892 Reply
latest vid
be interesting to know if this all drug induced or is it mental illness or both? if it's mental illness he's the most incoherent i've come across. kinda sad but fascinating. i've had schizophrenia and beat it.
Fanny Fongerforth - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 23:35:20 EST MYA7SC5S No.370899 Reply
>If crystal meth were available at Riteaid I would go crazy

someone should tell my man about Benzedrex

also this seems bizarrely cogent and a weirdly inspiring vision of the future
Emma Granddale - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 19:52:19 EST Xxn0IdMJ No.370911 Reply
This is what they invented gulags for
ΩµæƨŧʀαI҉ƞ - Sat, 04 Apr 2020 18:17:01 EST El2PEU89 No.371386 Reply
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I know it sounds dumb, but drug induced psychosis can closely resemble schizophrenia. Living through an extended psychosis 2012-2018 can change your entire life. Personality and behavior, perception, beliefs, relstionships, everything. Only after you come out on the other side and take a close look at what happened can you finally say "damn I was skitz'd the fuck out for awhile there lmoa."

Also legitimate schizophrenics can "beat it" with the right combination of medication, activity, and counseling/social buttressing.

brain damage don't knock it til ya try it
Henry Droddlemotch - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 14:39:01 EST 704C7UL7 No.371657 Reply
Anyone wonder what it is about /dis/ specifically that reliably induces long-term psychosis and schizophrenia more so than any other class of drugs? You see cracked burnouts from stimulants and psychedelics all the time but not quite as often and not nearly to the same degree.

I'm just spitballing here, and there are probably a lot of reasons, but in Lacan's psychoanalytic theory, before the mirror stage in which the child recognizes their reflection for the first time, we don't think of ourselves as being unified objects and don't experience the world in the sort of chronological narrative we do as adults.

Instead, we experience the world more as a jumbled mess of events, with no differentiation between internal and external experiences. A flash of light here, some hunger there; movement here, love there, etc. Lacan was deeply influenced by the structuralist school of thought, which proposed that the meaning of words is defined solely by their relationship with other words. Lacan theorized that schizophrenia was more or less a return to before the mirror stage, or in essence a breakdown of the signifying chain, or a state in which the relations between objects become blurred. To me, this is also the hallmark of the dissociative experience.

Also interesting in this vein are how many people report a feeling of nostalgia or a sense of returning to their very early childhood on dissociatives.

Want to reiterate I'm not supposing to really know anything about this or that I have any authority to speak on this subject except a passing interest in philosophy.
Sibil Sussy - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 15:19:55 EST FW3eCziP No.371658 Reply
>>371386 "brain damage don't knock it til ya try it" - 5D brains are different buddy
connected space-time continuum
Jack Dellerbury - Tue, 28 Apr 2020 04:21:20 EST 2cFbDpry No.371662 Reply
I mean this shit can happen on any disso, but you'd really have to be hitting it daily and not give yourself any breaks whatsoever. Which definitely happens, but its rare.
Sophie Drupperfuck - Tue, 28 Apr 2020 23:42:53 EST MYA7SC5S No.371669 Reply
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We doin' some arm chair psychology here? From what I've read and experienced, I see psychosis as both the simultaneous break down of the signifying chain like you mentioned and the brain's pattern recognition system going into overdrive. Could these two things be compared to the negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia, respectively? Interesting to note that dissociatives lead to psychosis primarily via the first route while psychedelics and stimulants lead to psychosis primarily via the second, but that the end result presents very similarly if not identically.

Insofar as I can consciously experience it, i.e. while going down the rabbit hole but before I've reached the end, I kind of see psychosis as the apotheosis of doubt. I start to experience derealization and dissociation even when perfectly sober and as things start to feel less and less real, I can no longer intuitively "feel" the things I believe to be true. I still have the same beliefs, but it becomes really hard to differentiate them from any thing else I could believe. Then because of this, I start to live in a world where everything seems plausible. Once everything is plausible, all bets are off. It becomes harder to differentiate between internal and external experiences, because your brain is always making connections that aren't there, but in a normal state of mind, you can easily see most of these for what they are. A coat hanging on your door in the dark is just that, not a grey sent to abduct you, even though that's what it looked like out of the corner of your eye. And so on. Eventually, and I've only gotten here a handful of times and always specifically drug induced, the doubt completely dissolves and you've broken through. Internal and external experiences are completely indistinguishable at this point, and you're completely at the mercy of whatever your brain comes up with.
Lydia Gadgegold - Thu, 30 Apr 2020 21:11:25 EST mgMw6HAE No.371704 Reply
Good to know, since i'm getting a small amount of diphenidine tomorrow. This dude and this thread inspired me to do so, fuck yeah
dmt deed beed smoke like a fied and cut off my peen - Fri, 01 May 2020 19:22:26 EST xGYhBuCv No.371717 Reply
i think that ryan is the one who pposted this on 420chan
Oliver Hemblefick - Fri, 01 May 2020 23:41:50 EST uTC1IJkn No.371721 Reply
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this is from his 4/21/2020 video. lol imagine Ryan's penis flashing in sync to a sped up version of Hanson's MMMBop. He thought it was artful ahahah
Oliver Hemblefick - Fri, 01 May 2020 23:52:25 EST uTC1IJkn No.371722 Reply
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well he definitely enjoys porn, but I think it's funny that he considers it art
Clara Channingfick - Mon, 04 May 2020 07:28:01 EST MYA7SC5S No.371744 Reply
>imagine Ryan's penis flashing in sync to a sped up version of Hanson's MMMBop

i will do no such thing
Nathaniel Brannergold - Thu, 07 May 2020 02:41:10 EST pLOf11Nj No.371785 Reply
he's too tweaked out
Lillian Brezzledale - Sun, 10 May 2020 20:18:53 EST icyNmdfr No.371858 Reply
I realized too late that the crackheadess was psychotic as fuck at that moment. I thought she was legit asking the dude to be her driver. Only realized that she is not just fast-tounged from the crack when she mentioned giving a million dollars yearly.

I might be stupid.
Alice Fanhood - Sun, 10 May 2020 23:18:01 EST mM82PPlg No.371865 Reply
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Two weeks ago he uploaded his phone number to a video, so I hit him up with a drunkenly earnest and lame text about cutting back on the drugs. He got back to me with this today.
Emma Hupperbork - Tue, 12 May 2020 16:09:15 EST MYA7SC5S No.371881 Reply
>He reminds me a lot of Charles Freck from A Scanner Darkly

one hundred percent

Substance D is actually diphenidine
Hugh Clellynog - Thu, 14 May 2020 19:26:50 EST KzmhhQcj No.371915 Reply
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>video unavailable the moment I refresh
what the fuck did I just watch?
Augustus Wedgehood - Thu, 14 May 2020 20:21:28 EST e62da3Zw No.371916 Reply
*inflicts quanchy leg beat*
s0methiNg t0 loOk FoRwARd 2 I SuPP0se
Angus Blathercocke - Sun, 24 May 2020 00:11:06 EST GtO7R+/w No.372040 Reply
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As of the video he posted yesterday it looks like he's ripped part of the ceiling in his room out. Also, love magic with magic cards and repeated mantras.

I'm new to this guy but bagawd, his poor mother. (Assuming she isn't on meth like he's implied before)
Slim Jim - Sun, 24 May 2020 06:20:49 EST DqdsUJkA No.372044 Reply
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Diphenidine sucks so bad, at least go insane from something fun ffs.

For real though, i'm more inclined to think this is someone with both actual Schizophrenia and a drug habit, than just someone who "went insane from drugs". The numbers for that comorbidity are quite high and he exhibits a lot of classic symptoms of schizophrenia like the loose associations and word salad.

Schizophrenics can be baseline delusional and having regular hallucinations and doing this sort of odd behavior, but still be like half way with you in reality or more (some of them anyway), but then also have full blown psychotic episodes too where they'll fly all the way to stallionoo land. During those episodes, the resemblance to other forms of psychosis is very similar, but not so much as a baseline for their entire personality, that's more like schiz, which is thought to be not just a normal brain misfiring, but an abnormal brain (which will sometimes misfire in that same way too).
William Sashfed - Sun, 24 May 2020 11:49:23 EST MYA7SC5S No.372045 Reply
>i'm more inclined to think this is someone with both actual Schizophrenia and a drug habit, than just someone who "went insane from drugs". The numbers for that comorbidity are quite high and he exhibits a lot of classic symptoms of schizophrenia like the loose associations and word salad.

I've been leaning hard towards this since I found out about him almost a year ago at this point. The problem is that the fact he's addicted to dissociatives specifically muddies the waters, since among commonly used recreational drugs they're uniquely psychotomimetic, inducing symptoms similar to both the positive and negative features of schizophrenia. I really wish I could find the paper I read that mentioned that specifically, I found it researching around shortly after making this post >>371669

It'd be interesting to know if there really is any real data on the correlation between dissociative use and mental illness compared to other drugs of abuse. Personally I don't have schizophrenia but my experiences with endogenous psychosis from bipolar disorder were more akin to deliriant drugs. But precipitating a psychotic break would always be a long period of gradual dissociation and derealization, wherein slowly I came to doubt everything I believed about the world and so I couldn't fully convince myself that even the most absurd thing wasn't at least plausible.
Lillian Drezzlepadging - Sun, 24 May 2020 23:31:39 EST KRBQNTrZ No.372056 Reply
>a long period of gradual dissociation and derealization, wherein slowly I came to doubt everything I believed about the world and so I couldn't fully convince myself that even the most absurd thing wasn't at least plausible.

Pretty much exactly how it goes. The most absurd statement becomes true, that nothing is real, not even my own experience of reality in this moment. That it's not even a dream of an illusion, and none of this could possibly be happening right now. Despite everything that I've ever experienced telling me that reality exists, it's actually a cruel joke of some sort thrust upon me by the paradoxical absurdities of nothingness. There's a sensation of being god, that the totality of all experience is an illusory flicker of light reflecting upon nothing in a great void.

The thought that you're losing control of your mind is scary, but it can be lived with in varying degrees if it doesn't drive you into suicide, thereby fulfilling the prophecy of nothingness. At some point you might become so overwhelmed by the persistence that none of this is happening, and you can't make sense of it, and so look for an exit, any way to stop living this nightmare.

I personally might believe that anyone can be brought to the edge through perpetual mental abuse such as chronic use of hallucinogens, particularly strong doses of dissociatives. When you're taking such reality-shifting substances so often that you maintain a psychedelic headspace for several days, even weeks on end, that you have no respite into your ordinary mental state one can easily lose touch with what it previously meant to them to exist. When you lose your most basic grasp on your very perception of reality you're left trying to make sense of this world in the same way a newborn might. Life is like a hazy dream, and you often have trouble remembering which of your thoughts actually happened and which were dreams or hallucinations. That's a good point to stop taking hallucinogens and spend the next 12-18 months nursing your mind back to sanity.
Phineas Bibberforth - Mon, 25 May 2020 00:52:44 EST 8s/NlcL6 No.372058 Reply
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jesus fucking christ this is weird like when something happens that reminds you of a bad dream you had only thsi si real and you're able to see what you feared
Graham Mobbersudge - Mon, 25 May 2020 03:50:40 EST MYA7SC5S No.372062 Reply
I mean before I got a bit better (I still go manic all the time but on Lamictal never "I have to save my niece from the shadow people" manic, so it's just actually a fairly enjoyable thing were it not for the crash) the thing that stopped me from just ending it all most of the time was doubt that I could even trust my intuition to doubt everything, so I was just stuck and frustrated, I'm really thankful that I was, but at the time I prayed for the conviction to kill myself.

It's crazy to be in so much of a better place that I genuinely can't even remember or comprehend what it's like to be in that mental state anymore. Almost a year since I've had any psychotic or dangerously depressed episodes. I don't think I can ever safely dive back into dissociatives again (at least not stimulating ones, I still do a bit of ket and light robotrips along with microdosing now and then) but I still come here because they're so damn interesting
Graham Mobbersudge - Mon, 25 May 2020 04:01:45 EST MYA7SC5S No.372063 Reply
It's just interesting to me and pretty sad, I don't find it particularly upsetting. Really he can think whatever and however he wants, I just worry about his well-being and with some of the things he says the well-being of others.
Fanny Gobblestone - Mon, 25 May 2020 20:43:04 EST DqdsUJkA No.372076 Reply
He's got some really interesting paintings. Has he made any mention of whether he sells them and where?
Charles Gooddock - Tue, 02 Jun 2020 14:17:49 EST KRBQNTrZ No.372139 Reply
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I'm just here to keep this thread going because it's had some interesting discussions
Ebenezer Bragglebury - Thu, 09 Jul 2020 02:48:03 EST MYA7SC5S No.372505 Reply
HAHA holy shit I forgot I even did this, and I clicked on this thread thinking "man this looks familiar" without noticing that it was posted in august of last year

damn drugs really fuck you up
Clara Honeyhood - Mon, 13 Jul 2020 22:04:31 EST OszGbVVW No.372531 Reply
He just made a new video 3 days ago. I wanna know how he's supporting himself considering he seems too fried for any occupation and 2 what the condom on his desk is for. How do you become this fucked up

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