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Developing Ketamine Habit

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- Tue, 06 Jul 2021 15:24:40 EST 9jwwBs8z No.375446
File: 1625599480611.jpg -(52010B / 50.79KB, 720x714) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Developing Ketamine Habit
Hey guys, haven't posted here for many years but I want to speak anonymously about something.

I've used ketamine on occasion for years. Usually no more than a gram every few months, because while I love the weird highs I know that it plays havoc with your bladder and urinary system. No problems at that frequency.

My housemate has, fairly recently, started to sell it, and not only is it fucking strong stuff but he's also selling it pre-cooked and cheaper than any other dealer I've ever found. This may not sound like a huge amount to some, but I've been taking a gram every 2-3 days for about a month. I've been through addictions before, and can see a problematic pattern developing, in craving it at the end of a day, in getting annoyed when I get home and my housemate isn't there to sell me any etc. I know it's purely psychological because I always calm down and forget about it after I vape some weed, but I still can't stop the thoughts from racing. I know I would find it so much easier to stop if it wasn't so easily available to me now.

The last time I had a dissociative problem was 10 years ago, when I took MXE every day for nearly a year before waking up one day feeling like I'd been shot in the stomach. I went to hospital and was quickly feeling better and was discharged; I continued to take it for a short time but soon my ass was saved when it was outlawed and I couldn't get it easily anymore.

I've just turned 30 and have so many plans for travelling the world, covering myself in tattoos, finding someone to settle down with. I've saved up nearly £2000 and this isn't how I want to be spending my money. How do I nip this problem in the bud before it becomes too serious?

Tl;dr (I do love to waffle, sorry), housemate is selling k, I've gone from taking it every few months to every few days and I'm worried. How do I stop when it's so easily available?
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Nigel Sabbleware - Fri, 09 Jul 2021 18:08:56 EST 5//HnG9D No.375458 Reply
1625868536104.jpg -(386891B / 377.82KB, 1170x827) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>375455
Pretty much this unironically. I stopped when I started worshipping the most high God
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Lydia Poffingstock - Fri, 09 Jul 2021 19:59:10 EST MYA7SC5S No.375459 Reply
>>375458
lmao this is some henry darger shit, it looks like the shit a tweaker would come up with 10 days into a run
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Juganjae - Mon, 12 Jul 2021 17:09:19 EST Xj0YzzK8 No.375475 Reply
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>>375459
When ever i see shit like these diagrams i start to assume nobody but the damn crazy fool who made it gets it. Every single tweaker or run of the mill psycho seems to draw up these things. NB
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Juganjae - Mon, 12 Jul 2021 17:50:49 EST Xj0YzzK8 No.375477 Reply
>>375476
i like that,yeah im not the wisest There is too much to process for my damged brain. It twas i who was the psycho tweaker but just with out a cool schematic representation of nobody gets me.
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Nathaniel Blackhall - Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:00:01 EST XsXLPqJu No.375485 Reply
just take a break man, find a different hobby or something. like i am pretty sure w e all like ketamine a fuck load because wh odoesnt but thats a helluva lot of ketamine use. you will develop physical issues from that much so like try puzzles or running or something instead idk
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Fuck Gamblebore - Sat, 17 Jul 2021 00:02:57 EST 704C7UL7 No.375490 Reply
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>>375476
You're delusional if you think you're somehow magically not, that's the point of the allegory. I do to some extent admire your certainty of belief, since I think that's ultimately how we exercise our will over the world, but that's the thing it's your will, have the courage to own it and not be a slave to your own creation. There was only one Christian and he died on a cross. I'm not an atheist, and I think the bible is a powerful text, but like all "believers" whether they admit it or not, I take the bits that I find useful and leave the rest in the trash heap, I've never once read a book that I thought I could use everything from, or even most of it, no thought has ever swept me off my feet to the point I decide to live my life in slavish devotion to it, and no idea has ever entered my mind that I've had the audacity to believe should be binding to all. Sure things will always fall if you drop them and 2+2 will always equal 4, but if we're talking about things of real human significance, at this point in time we're on our own, and this should be liberating. If you want to use religion as a tool to set your life in order that's one thing, but it's a thought experiment, it's still a part of your own self-creation.
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Reuben Biggledatch - Sat, 17 Jul 2021 13:56:28 EST 5//HnG9D No.375493 Reply
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>>375490
Nietzsche's appraisal of the enlightenment and much of the stale Western churches was pretty good. However his epistemology and metaphysics are all out of wack and he psychologizes way too much. He attacks metaphysics and then makes meta level claims, you cannot escape metaphysics. His dealing with Christianity is clearly flavored by the western scholastic theology surrounding him in 1800s Germany. He criticizes theological doctrines which never existed in the east. The framework in which he evaluates Christ iby its nature misinterprets Christ. I was more a fan of Jung, so I'm glad for nietzsche contributions to his thought.

You might find interesting this book by Fr Seraphim Rose which deals with modernism, nihilism and relativism. Fr Seraphim was an academic philospher and former student of alan watts who became an Orthodox priestmonk. He spent a long time in postmodern thought as well as in eastern traditions, perennialism etc. before ending his spiritual search in Orthodoxy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkrd76_o00E

Another interesting book is Christ the Eternal Tao which presents the Tao as a foreshadowing of the revelation of Christ (first few chapters here) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Iq3r-2Rkk&list=PLzFKi22k2KYiixqxBmI2ZhQ0G67Z5zHhs
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Beatrice Chickleridge - Sun, 18 Jul 2021 09:58:18 EST daxX5OSo No.375496 Reply
>>375493
Lol never thought I'd see someone mention Fr Seraphim Rose on 420chan. Based
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Phineas Chebberstock - Mon, 19 Jul 2021 07:24:56 EST BylQYNeA No.375498 Reply
>>375493
>He criticizes theological doctrines which never existed in the east

That's because he lived in the West, it's taken for granted that that's the environment Nietzsche wrote his works in and you keep that in mind, since everyone is of their time and their place, but it doesn't automatically invalidate all of his beliefs about Christianity, in particular that it's life denying, all these real, tangible experiences we can have on Earth right now, the power of a good lie, the virtues of strength, beauty, lust, we're all supposed to forsake it all with great psychic trauma for what? To wait in faith and hope and love for what? According to Thomas Aquinas you Christians ever so meek and kind wait in patient hope to see those who wronged you in this life tortured for all eternity, the chief pleasure of heaven will be that we can see the punishments of the damned, can you not see the brutal hatred that goes into such beliefs?
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Jarvis Sodgestark - Mon, 19 Jul 2021 20:21:10 EST 5//HnG9D No.375503 Reply
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>>375498

The point I'm trying to make is that the theological differences do indeed matter. For example, how can someone compare the sickening doctrine of Calvinism, who believe God wrathfully predestines some to paradise and some to eternal damnation without any freewill or possibility of repentance, with the theology of for example St. Isaac the Syrian, who stresses the uncompromising love of God even towards the demon. They both claim to believe in the same basic tenets, but for completely different reasons, which is of tremendous spiritual importance. This is why you see nutjob calvinists screaming that people deserve hell and expect it to convert them.
In Orthodoxy, Christ becomes man to deify man's nature, to provide a path of repentance back to union with God, who is Love and the fount of all Good. Man can now voluntarily participate in the Divine Nature (doctrine of theosis). This coincides with the transfiguartion of the cosmos. Rejection of the divine life results in disconnection from God, which is hell. Whether Hell is eternal is another question with various answers among eastern fathers (regardless of the chart)

I don't know if Aquinas said that (pretty sure he said the chief pleasure is gazing at the essence of God), but again, Western theologian. Medieval Western theology went off track due to Lawyer theologians, scholastics injecting Aristotelianism and the development of nominalism (the ripples of which are seen in Nietzsche). I pray for all men to partake in the Divine Life by the grace of God, I don't wish to see them in hell.

As far as Nietzsche, I think his formulations of life denying are incoherent and based on false or shaky presuppositions. I don't think our friend OP's current ketamine use is life affirming but I don't see much difference between that and much of Nietzsche values..
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Fuck Hobblepatch - Thu, 22 Jul 2021 07:50:24 EST VK/du/nI No.375534 Reply
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>>375446
Wishing you good luck! I know a lot of people who've had issues with K. I think your situation is pretty normal and ok! Whenever I find myself hooked on something, I do the following:
  1. Slowly decrease the rate at which you use K. For example: either do less per day or same amount every other day. I can't say the exact right amount, but basically whatever rate you can sustain comfortably.
This minimizes physiological shock of quitting a drug and is easier. Once you succeed at a few small decreases in use, it is easier to continue the trend. I think this is way better than full cold turkey.
2. Try changing your daily routine. Being away from the locations and circumstances you use a substance definitely curbs desire to do it.
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Phineas Gunkinsot - Sat, 24 Jul 2021 21:33:08 EST Qq1uBowY No.375545 Reply
>>375446
Just do what I do and substitute your drug abusive habits with things like visiting messageboards populated by other drug users/abusers. I really wish I could get into nursing school so I could work in a nice classy drug rehab center (not an inner city rehab filled with crackheads), but I have a felony so I'm having trouble finding a nursing program to accept me into their program. It's really unfortunate because I think being an RN in a private rehab/detox setting would actually be perfect for me because I've been there done that. I think being around other users and helping them get through their rough patch in life is my true calling and I wish society would let me get my foot in the door so I can realize my true passion and help people find their way back.
>Being able to give people pills so they don't die from WD's seems pretty rewarding
>Hey, good morning! I know you're probably not feeling great, so here's some suboxone for you! Here, take this ativan/librium so you'll stop shaking! Oh, you still can't get to sleep? Here, have some Sarry-Que's and some hydroxyzine. Hey sorry to wake you up, I just have to take your vitals to make sure you're not going to die or have a seizure
>Go back to nurse's station and kick it with the other hot nurses while studying to earn my doctorate in medicine

I just want to help people feel better but I can't because I have a fucking scarlet letter from some nonsensical legal trouble. I would never dream of diverting pills from a clinical setting, as drugs can be procured online cheap as dirt, and I sincerely have no desire to start habits that made me voluntarily go to rehab in the first place, but it's so fucking hard to convince people you're not some degenerate when on paper you clearly are a degenerate. I just want people to be happy with their lives without being a burden to others, but felons aren't allowed to help others. The doctor who was in charge of the rehab unit I stayed at was super cool, and he even lost his license a while back because he was abusing his power to prescribe opiates to people, but managed to get it back after jumping through a ton of hoops. He was a really cool Dr. who inspired me to want to get into healthcare, but unfortunately that's not a viable career path for me at the moment because of my bullshit felony. Sorry if this post turned into more of a therapy session for myself.
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DTMO - Mon, 26 Jul 2021 18:39:59 EST nDAOzRQL No.375550 Reply
>>375446
>selling it pre-cooked

I still can't get over the fact that people take sterile ampoules for injection and boil them down to get powder. It's so arse-backwards it's amazing.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Eugene Hullydale - Mon, 26 Jul 2021 19:34:25 EST MYA7SC5S No.375551 Reply
>>375503
> I don't think our friend OP's current ketamine use is life affirming but I don't see much difference between that and much of Nietzsche values..

Because you know nothing of Nietzsche's philosophy to be blunt, or more likely you don't look at it charitably because of the beliefs you already have when approaching it. Nihilism is a potential trend in society he identified that he was trying to warn us about, not something he was an advocate for. What he personally would say of OP's condition is irrelevant here and we'll never know, it's silly to speculate on in my view, Nietzsche is not someone who I would want to sit down and chat with, he's not someone I would likely have any interest in maintaining a personal relationship at all, we're talking about what he wrote here not who he was, which is an important distinction you seem to gloss over by referencing "Nietzsche's values", as if it matters at all who was, what actually matters is the sensible marks he left us and their utility in our own lives in this time and place.

He is known to have used drugs in his life, but was in no sense an unrestrained advocate for drug use. I would argue drug use of the kind and at the level OP is talking about would be life denying because it's anesthetizing and that seems to be the allure in this instance. They don't seem to be taking the drug to learn more about the world or themselves, or for the sake of the experience itself, as a social ritual, to grow as a person etc. all of which would be life-affirming, instead they seem to be using it as an escape, and it seems to be hindering other aspects of their life that keeps it from being wholly lived, so in that it's a life-denying behavior in the same way I would view the rigid rules and dogma of exoteric religion are life denying, both restrict one in the act of radical self-creation, the only difference is in the method.

This is a good read that touches on some of this stuff:
https://www.uwlax.edu/globalassets/offices-services/urc/jur-online/pdf/2019/wyrembeck.lucas.phl.pdf

That said, you can use drugs and not be ensnared by them and there are tools for getting unstuck, religion can potentially be one of them, but one that's unreliable, very few people arrive at true faith when they set out to "find God", the mystery of God is something that finds you, and it finds you as you exercise your own Will, God is the All and we ourselves are the All in All, that doesn't mean we individually "are" God, we are finite temporal cogs in an infinite eternal machine, all we can do is wonder at the unbroken chain of fantastic events we are part of, and create of our own lives a unique work of art, not a facsimile or some boring still life, but an awe-inspiring work all our own, worthy of being hung in God's gallery.

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