|>> || 1628879489775.jpg -(113955B / 111.28KB, 276x443) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>375621 |
isn't is? dude is so cute compared to how dark his stuff gets. now I gotta relisten to music for earthworms
tbh I'm not doubting at all that your experience is real and valid. my first introduction to DXM at age 16 was 4 ounces of long acting cough that I downed because I wanted to do psychedelics and didn't have any way to get them, and my experience was damn near exactly the same as what you're describing, down to the fucking about with a friend, and it being a last resort after not having any weed.
thing is though, a couple handfuls of years later, I have a completely different relationship to it (not least because I can get really any psy or dis I want, so no necessity for it specifically anymore), but, and I know this is hard to believe, the actual effects are night and day different to what I experienced back then when it was a groddy back up drug. From the toxified feeling, to the vomiting (now it's diahrea, but whatever, psychedelics all have one or the other IME), to the feeling of my thoughts being jumbled and head being cloudy, are completely gone. Even the week long feeling of depression and disconnectedness after a trip I got back then is nowhere to be found, and that was some of the most profound depression of my teen years, just as real as I'm sure the effects you're currently experiencing are.
now, this could be due to a lot of things, and no doubt there's multiple reasons at play here, but the one I think is most relevant to you is what's talked about a lot in psychedelics but is just as important in dissociates (maybe all drugs, to some extent). Set and Setting
I cannot stress this enough. why you're taking the drug you're taking, with what intention, what mindSet you have going into it, is going to be, sooner or later (sooner in the case of these kinds of drugs) amplified and reflected back at you for the duration, maybe even after the drug is gone. My first times using it (abusing it, really) as a trashy last resort to numb myself because I felt out of control and lost in my own life. and, not surprisingly, all in all, it made me feel like I had basically been huffing gasoline all night by the end of it. besides the massive flooding of whatever gnarly crap was in the syrup along with the mandatory sorbitol and sugar out the ass, the mental felt wrong to me, it felt like I was hurting myself, because I was, on multiple levels. this isn't specific to DXM really, I think weed and alcohol can make you feel this way too, but DXM is similar to psychedelics in the way it can show you how you're fucking up, especially if you're abusing it, in a way that's much less forgiving than weed or booze.
still though, I'm not recommending you do it again or something, personally, I'd trust my gut in that whatever intelligence is in me is clearly telling me that I'm fucking up right now. my pretty much only point this whole time, is to ask you to question why exactly that is happening (rather than jump to blame and accusations), because evil isn't in any drug, it's in the intention and use/abuse of the drug. if you're using robitussin as a replacement for when you don't have weed or alcohol, and it tells you to fuck right off, then chances are, you're harming yourself with weed and alcohol much more than you're realizing as well, DXM is just kicking back harder because it's more demanding and less forgiving than either. don't be fooled by how readily available it is, just like shrooms, them being the most accessible in their categories doesn't diminish their ability to destroy you in so many different ways.
to be fair, that's only from my pov and from my experience, so I could totally be off base and your life is crispy sweet and you only drink booze and smoke weed for a cherry on top after a meaningful and fulfilling day, except for this horrible demon DXM that's sent you spiraling down. that said, if you're absolutely anything at all like me, you have plenty of your own problems to begin with, among them might be abusing substances for the wrong reasons. and, on top of that, if after your bad experience with DXM, you're continuing to abuse weed and alcohol, I wouldn't be surprised at all if that's in large part why your mental and/or physical well-being is continuing to decline, well after the DXM is long gone. psychedelics means "mind revealing" for a reason. sometimes, the most negative or upsetting experiences we have on drugs are the biggest gifts, because they reveal things to us that we wouldn't otherwise be able to, or want to see.