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- Sun, 03 May 2020 15:40:31 EST pf3Iupuk No.284181
File: 1588534831479.png -(84899B / 82.91KB, 860x791) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Piss
>Got so drunk last night that I pissed the bed
>Wake up soaked in piss
>Reached for the full open beer next to me and drink it
>It's piss
>>
Priscilla Tillingstone - Sun, 03 May 2020 17:21:19 EST wQt33j9x No.284182 Reply
whom amongst us
>>
Martin Bladgecocke - Mon, 04 May 2020 00:11:24 EST eG51QYe/ No.284186 Reply
Does it really taste like booze when you drink your own piss after heavy drinking?
>>
Ian Blinkinwirk - Mon, 04 May 2020 12:33:30 EST YQ/ieAnp No.284187 Reply
>>284181
Bruh I got you beat

>stumble into the bathroom
>zip
>cat sitting bath tub
>don't notice it
>start pissing so hard it burns
>Cat attacks
>Try to deflect
>Too drunk
>fall in bathtub pants now around ankles
>piss everywhere
>What ever, I'm already in the shower
>Shower
>Go back to room
>Grab open beer can
>chugging that bitch
>Suddenly something is not right...
>Spit out mouth contents
>2 adult fucking cock roaches

Shut up with your piss bed weak shit, bitch
>>
Ian Blinkinwirk - Mon, 04 May 2020 12:41:42 EST YQ/ieAnp No.284189 Reply
>>284187
I just read the rules and so I must retract my statement at the end.

The rest is all true


>>284186
Not ime
>>
Hannah Gendleforth - Thu, 07 May 2020 21:01:26 EST wvhl+y9y No.284226 Reply
>>284189
Part fucking 2

>work shuts down today because some fag got injured
>sent home
>try to resist going to store so I don't buy any more since I have 2 for today
>wifey says if I go to store she'll buy 1 thing I want
>Don't want to go
>She says 2 things
>Say 1 thing and she does the rest of the dishes
>Set my beer down
>go to store
>Get a third beer and the things she asked me to
>Come home
>Dog knocked the fucking vase full of rocks and fake roses off the table chasing the case around
>Put dog outside
>Start cleaning that shit up
>Wife upset
>Muh roses
>I know I know
>Clean that up
>Go back into bedroom
>Can't find phone anywhere
>Search for that
>Start dinner
>Finish dinner
>eat dinner
>Wife tells me to come here
>Fucking dog got sprayed by a skunk
>fml 2.0
>bath the dog
>go back to bedroom
>grab old beer can and start to drink
>Something not right
>cockrich on outside of can crawls on my face
>Spit out beer
>Cock roaches in beer
>Smack face to kill roach
>drop beer and spill it everywhere

Help me /hooch/ how do I stop roaches from getting into my unattended drinks
>>
Nigel Facklestock - Fri, 08 May 2020 04:58:34 EST 4H/9l7bZ No.284231 Reply
>>284226

you disgusting monkey, clean your floors, wash all your dishes, clean out your fridge, stop eating in your bedroom, clorox wipe all smooth surfaces like kitchen and computer area
>>
Jack Bardham - Fri, 08 May 2020 09:55:54 EST aNgZNa5t No.284233 Reply
>>284226
That is not a real problem. Clean your house you nasty fuck. You shouldn't have roaches anywhere, they don't just magically appear on unattended drinks. Jesus Christ anon.
>>
Fuck Claddlededge - Fri, 08 May 2020 11:13:18 EST J/uvSOJL No.284235 Reply
>>284233
My house is clean. The damn things come out of no where. I started buying bottles so that I can recap them. The only place I really see them in plain sight is in my bathroom. I assume they're trying to get water from there. But where? There's no mold under the sink or around the bath tub. Sometimes spiders climb up my bath drain, could it be there?

The ants are only in the kitchen and I bought a thing for tor them at walmart that pretty much took care of them.

I went up into the attic to see if maybe they were up there and found some rat turds, so I put a trap but it hasn't gone off, so they're probably ancient turds. I see no roaches in the attic

Could they be hiding in the walls?

I found them around one outlet a few months ago and sprayed the fuck out of it, flipped the breaker, wiped down with ethanol and allowed to dry. They haven't returned there.

They must be in the fucking walls but how are they getting out and into my beers?!!?!?!
>>
Fuck Claddlededge - Fri, 08 May 2020 11:22:18 EST J/uvSOJL No.284236 Reply
>>284231
I just told you my wife washed the dishes

We eat in the living room, because our kitchen doesn't have a table (it's kind of too small for a table anyway)

How would clorox help? I use ethanol wipes for my PC and electrical outlets. Cleans their mess away. I opened up my pc today and didn't find any of their dead bodies in it. The damn things are elusive af. I think they came over from the neighbors cause they didn't mow their fucking lawn for like 4 months until the city got on their ass. That or one of our friends somehow brought them here (we LAN party sometimes) but my neighbors has had them for a long time.

There must be a cheap and simple solution. My constant vigilance and drunken rage is not enough to stave them off. Surely one of you worked for Orkin or some shit
>>
Martin Buzzspear - Sat, 09 May 2020 02:02:48 EST PaDP+LlP No.284253 Reply
>>284235
>>284236

Fucking lmao that sucks. That's like, fuckin'g gnarly as fuck. I'm not even going to say it because two other people already did and I don't want to be that guy.

One time I was having this dream and something started happening like I was dreaming that something was crawling on me and I woke up and there was a roach crawling on me. I legit don't know where it came from. It's the first and last roach I had ever seen in three years and I have no reason to believe it found random food crumbs anywhere. TBH I think it crawled in through the window.
>>
Fucking Nuzzlepere - Sat, 09 May 2020 18:35:03 EST zSF2cUPE No.284258 Reply
>>284226
Your life is like a cartoon, where the villain (i.e. the cockroaches) continually gets the better of you, but always remains just out of reach (i.e., in your walls) for actual retribution. I don't know why I found your stories so funny. Probably just because you sound so exasperated lol. Hope you get them!
>>
Graham Fillerdock - Sun, 10 May 2020 12:13:41 EST kHDIh5wS No.284264 Reply
>>284236
If you're genuinely staying clean and still have them they could be living off random shit like old adhesives, dog/cat food, and other pieces of digestible stuff. Hire an exterminator, quit leaving food and drinks out unattended, and clean up those fucking rat turds. Also, pull out your fridge and stove from the wall and see if there's grime under there, cause that'd be roach and or rat shit.
>>
Hamilton Billingville - Tue, 12 May 2020 04:32:05 EST wQt33j9x No.284279 Reply
>>284258
not nearly that level but you reminded me of the i was starting to come up on 3 tabs of acid and i realized I had left the patio door open all night and there were dozens and dozens of flies everywhere. I panicked and drank a shit ton and then almost the entire trip was a 3 hour quest to kill every single one of them in a variety of creative ways. I got the last of them of them when I ended up setting a lamp in the middle of the room, turned it on, grabbed a garbage bag, and turned off all the other lights and then just waited for them, at least 30-40 large house flies, then threw the bag on top and tied it up.

I passed out shortly after but I know this really happened because I woke up initially wondering why the fuck my lamp was in the middle of the floor and inside of a garbage bag full of 40 dead flies
>>
Nathaniel Snodgold - Tue, 12 May 2020 14:53:28 EST QeWREVsQ No.284282 Reply
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>>284181
>get drunk at my frat house party
>Wasted.ayy
>2am need to piss still drunk
>sleep in my underwear usually
>go to female bathroom in our guest area
>piss, shit and vomit
>passout naked
>some girl still at the party walks in and sees my lifeless body
>calls one of by bros
>wakes me up and helps me to bed
>never spoke of this ever again
>>
Eliza Gonningbark - Tue, 12 May 2020 21:05:51 EST fr8wc7bB No.284286 Reply
>>284279

I'm the roach poster

Wow I've done a lot of weird things tripping balls but that is one of the best and I can totally related 100%

I came on to post the other day but didn't have anything to really say.

I still haven't have any incidents. I guess you can say I am a recovering roachaholic

One time I did acid when I was much younger and it wasn't doing the kick and someone offered me molly as well. It was something else and it felt like the high was always about to peak and never did. For the next 12 hours during the come down I couldn't sleep and constantly saw shadows closing in on the corners of my vision then disappearing. Then the old hallucinations of spiders but these ones were wholy atonomous and I think largely brought on by the sleep deprivation. Anything short of physical interaction would get rid of them, so thinking about it didn't work and when I closed my eyes I could still see them. The worst part is I had a pet spider who molted unknown to me and I went to check on her during this only to see 2 spiders inside. I brushed this off. Upon returning sober and still seeing it I paused and adrenaline was pumping but I calmly inspected it to find it was my spider and its molt. Really fucked me up for like an hour
>>
Eliza Gonningbark - Tue, 12 May 2020 21:11:23 EST fr8wc7bB No.284287 Reply
>>284286
Sorry i mean basically nothing but physical interaction would get rid of the spiders. The also always had the effect of always coming toward me super fast but never actually reaching me like they were always in motion really fast in that "panic" sort of distance where it seems like they're closing in which made ignoring them impossible. Upon phsyically interacting with them out of aggravation or impatience they would simply turn into dust or smoke like shadow figured. If those spiders existed irl I think I would try to destroy them as a life mission. I didn't mind ignoring them but they would consistently JUMP OUT or catch your eye like "wtf is that," even after you were desensitized to it, it always caught your eye when it jumped out. Fucking gay ass alien-face-hugger looking ass mother fuckers
>>
Basil Pockdock - Mon, 25 May 2020 02:23:09 EST MOHOO3Sx No.284334 Reply
1590387789244.png -(216813B / 211.73KB, 600x620) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>Got so pissed last night that I drunk the bed
>Wake up soaked in drunk
>Reached for the full open beer next to me and drink it
>It's got an ounce taped to the back
>>
Jenny Menningville - Mon, 25 May 2020 16:58:58 EST SYU/Eke6 No.284336 Reply
What is wrong with you guys? I have been drinking to excess regularly for 15 years now (I'm nearing 30) and I've never got into any of these situations.
>>
Fanny Pockshit - Tue, 02 Jun 2020 07:33:27 EST oPLPLC+C No.284376 Reply
>>284235
Try buying one of those closeable drains. They usually let enough water through so you won't flood your shit, but even if water doesn't go through it you could just open it while you're using.
>>
Frederick Gublingcocke - Sat, 06 Jun 2020 22:53:27 EST 2oC01DeX No.284390 Reply
1591498407049.gif -(1274291B / 1.22MB, 220x167) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>piss bed because too drunk
>run the carpet cleaner on my bed and sleep on the couch while it dries
>piss couch because too drunk
>>
Polly Bollernog - Sun, 07 Jun 2020 01:27:32 EST bwhXlhC+ No.284391 Reply
>be me
>bored and cheap
>get a Coulsons vodka from Walgreens (about $5+ dollars for a fifth)
>power drink that shit
>black out
>wake up next day
>cell phone in a puddle of piss in the kitchen
>have two black eyes
>I was by myself the whole evening
>>
Nathaniel Crenderson - Sun, 14 Jun 2020 12:33:39 EST +IRipY6B No.284422 Reply
1592152419522.png -(9885036B / 9.43MB, 3888x2592) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>perfectly good empty sprite bottle & empty gin bottle next to desk
>wake up and I've pissed in the fucking juice which wasn't empty
>only noticed because it was conspicuously placed on my desk and the cap was off
>if I'd put it back I wouldn't even have noticed because it's still purple it's just half juice half piss
>second time I've done this, getting paranoid about what I've pissed in, this is getting ridiculous
>>
Ernest Forrydick - Sun, 14 Jun 2020 14:28:07 EST HjboZ9BR No.284423 Reply
1592159287955.jpg -(24422B / 23.85KB, 720x672) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>284422
You could always solve it by investing in a luxury piss bottle and a funnel, then you won't feel inclined to piss in other containers.
>>
Nathaniel Crenderson - Sun, 14 Jun 2020 15:40:08 EST +IRipY6B No.284424 Reply
>>284423
maybe, then again I don't remember feeling inclined to put my headphones in the fridge with the cable still attached and trailing out of the door during a previous blackout but there they were in the morning. I don't think inclination has a lot to do with things when you're blacked out. Kind of weird really, it's almost like you can drink yourself retarded. Except a retard wouldn't even do that because there's no reason to. It's like you're not even conscious, like sleepwalking. I wonder how close to actual alcohol poisoning many of us have been and had no idea.
>>
Nell Fablingstock - Mon, 15 Jun 2020 02:57:41 EST fw7PFdsT No.284426 Reply
>>284181
even before this virus shit, we did weird things, that is our job. be kinda weird.

well cool out at best.

Dan's job, prominent nothing politician, was to drink puke wherever, and piss on our walls.
>>
Caroline Sesslesack - Mon, 15 Jun 2020 10:45:15 EST 4H/9l7bZ No.284427 Reply
a couple nights ago while blacked out it seems i ripped the lid off my hamper then placed it back upside-down for no discernible reason
>>
Oliver Parringstog - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 02:00:11 EST STaAsWK4 No.284468 Reply
one time I woke up so thirsty I reached for the nearest water bottle on my bed, and just chugged it, like 300ml at least. I thought it tasted kind of 'off', but I was still drunk and needed water so fuck it. And like 20 minutes later I was still crazy thirsty and started chugging again from same bottle but by this time the sun had risen and the off taste was more noticeable and I just suddenly realised it was my own piss, and my stomach was bloated with my own piss and I was chugging my own piss.

Never spewed so hard in my life. I didn't even make it to my bathroom just hunched double and puked over and over and over onto the carpet, my own piss, vomiting my own piss out my mouth onto the floor. it was awful.
>>
Doris Fimmerhare - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 20:20:05 EST DaF8lssa No.284470 Reply
>>284468
I mean I think this might have been prevented by not pissing in bottles stored around your room what the actual fuck
>>
Ernest Sublingwater - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 20:24:25 EST OP34J/8u No.284471 Reply
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alcohol drinkers are fucking disgusting seriously what THE FUCK. Even deli posters are more civilized than this
>>
Hedda Grandhood - Mon, 29 Jun 2020 21:45:20 EST wYo2BWpJ No.284478 Reply
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>>284471
i pretty much never come to hooch and only drink lightly, but this thread is a riot. what the fuck indeed. even off my gourd on cough syrup the most I've done is paint a bathroom red with vomit. for a drug as old as man it really does fuck people up.
>>
Phineas Hillyway - Sat, 08 Aug 2020 03:02:38 EST /Q6Bo0m4 No.284708 Reply
>>284282
That's not so bad. I had a friend in college who kept pissing himself when he'd get drunk. One time he DD'd for some of his friends but ended up getting wasted at the bar they went to so someone else drove. He then pissed himself while sleeping on his friend's couch which kinda ruined the couch.
>>
Scourge of the West - Sat, 08 Aug 2020 23:11:03 EST dDPNxxNS No.284710 Reply
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California reporting. We call that Tuesday. And other days that end with a Y. If I get a booze buzz going I wanna smoke. Though no one buys weed anymore. Wax cartridges are just too damn convenient.
>>
Phyllis Crangerbury - Sun, 09 Aug 2020 22:02:08 EST FY8YQIpd No.284722 Reply
>>284226
Roaches are actually attracted to alcohol. One variation of a roach trap involves using a little bit of wine or beer at the bottom of a bottle in order to trap them. The very problem is your unattended drinks, unfortunately. You could have a hardcover book to put over the tops of your cans or something. Roaches also really hate the smell of citrus. Using a strong orange or lemon scented cleaner can do a lot to keep them out of an area.
>>
Hannah Pennergold - Mon, 10 Aug 2020 22:02:24 EST QCRAZz4s No.284738 Reply
>>284737
Reminds me of this chick I was talking to. She kept sending me half nude pics but kept blowing me off so I ghosted that bitcb
>>
Walter Fuckingridge - Tue, 11 Aug 2020 01:36:26 EST ODVba2Fo No.284746 Reply
>>284187
are you that one wolf from the meg mog and owl comics

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