dead skunks View Thread Reply Hide George Smallville - Sun, 30 Oct 2016 21:55:07 EST a83cptBz No.24567 File: 1477878907502.jpg -(69883B / 68.25KB, 920x687) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. can i make jenk out of a dead skunk?i was driving through the countryside & i smells some of the rankest stench that ever reeked, tracked it down to black, white & red patch on the side of the road, so i put it in the back of my pickup to see if make i could make some good shit with it >> Fanny Goodbury - Mon, 31 Oct 2016 21:11:35 EST HJ0BzBYd No.24568 Reply Well you're unlikely to find enough shit in a skunk for a full batch.However, if you've got a batch of some nondescript jenk brewing you can add the skunk's shit to it to really potentiate the brew. Drop the anal glands in too if you're feeling hardcore. >> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Fri, 11 Nov 2016 19:52:49 EST U2KI3Vc/ No.24579 Reply 1478911969095.gif -(655607B / 640.24KB, 200x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Just because it stinks doesn't mean it'll make good jenk. If you cut off the scent glands and let them soak in your brew for a few days, they can add a nice "bite". But they don't add much to the high.
>> Fanny Goodbury - Mon, 31 Oct 2016 21:11:35 EST HJ0BzBYd No.24568 Reply Well you're unlikely to find enough shit in a skunk for a full batch.However, if you've got a batch of some nondescript jenk brewing you can add the skunk's shit to it to really potentiate the brew. Drop the anal glands in too if you're feeling hardcore.
>> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Fri, 11 Nov 2016 19:52:49 EST U2KI3Vc/ No.24579 Reply 1478911969095.gif -(655607B / 640.24KB, 200x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Just because it stinks doesn't mean it'll make good jenk. If you cut off the scent glands and let them soak in your brew for a few days, they can add a nice "bite". But they don't add much to the high.
Pour up, Jenk View Thread Reply Hide Ayylmao - Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:15:27 EST zoldSA5v No.23505 File: 1410812127278.jpg -(48095B / 46.97KB, 629x420) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Pour up (jenk), head shot (jenk)Sit down (jenk), stand up (jenk)Pass out (jenk), wake up (jenk)Faded (jenk), faded (jenk)Now I done grew upRound some people living their life in bottlesGranddaddy had the golden assBack stroke every day in ChicagoSome people like the way it feelsSome people wanna kill their sorrowsSome people wanna fit in with the popularThat was my problemIt was in the dark ballloonLoud tunes, looking to make a vow soonThat I'm a get fucked up, fillin' up my cupI see the crowd moodChanging by the minute and the record on repeatTook a sip, then another sip, then somebody said to me: 6 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read. >> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Tue, 18 Oct 2016 18:56:24 EST 5OJInSD5 No.24563 Reply 1476831384377.jpg -(66671B / 65.11KB, 509x357) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24562HEEEEEE'S THE OOOOOONEWHO LIKES JENKEM ON HIS TOOOONGUEAND HE HUFFS UNTIL IT'S GOOOOONEAND HE SHITS ANOTHER LOOOOOGBUT HE DON'T ADD ANY PEEDON'T ADD ANY PEE >> Ebenezer Gobblehall - Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:22:47 EST GGq1mg1Y No.24564 Reply Twisted off the Jenkem, watching Iron Chef >> Hubert Cumberdale - Sun, 30 Oct 2016 18:22:32 EST OFURi5OB No.24566 Reply >>23505Justin Roiland confirmed for Jenkem user.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oCqPDngrgM11:00
>> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Tue, 18 Oct 2016 18:56:24 EST 5OJInSD5 No.24563 Reply 1476831384377.jpg -(66671B / 65.11KB, 509x357) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24562HEEEEEE'S THE OOOOOONEWHO LIKES JENKEM ON HIS TOOOONGUEAND HE HUFFS UNTIL IT'S GOOOOONEAND HE SHITS ANOTHER LOOOOOGBUT HE DON'T ADD ANY PEEDON'T ADD ANY PEE
>> Ebenezer Gobblehall - Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:22:47 EST GGq1mg1Y No.24564 Reply Twisted off the Jenkem, watching Iron Chef
>> Hubert Cumberdale - Sun, 30 Oct 2016 18:22:32 EST OFURi5OB No.24566 Reply >>23505Justin Roiland confirmed for Jenkem user.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oCqPDngrgM11:00
first stank token View Thread Reply Hide Jenny Siffingville - Sun, 31 Jan 2016 14:01:15 EST 08kmojWu No.24384 File: 1454266875302.jpg -(73091B / 71.38KB, 500x284) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what now? does it give me access to stuff(seriously)? 3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read. >> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Sat, 20 Feb 2016 16:48:29 EST EPyVj4pN No.24406 Reply 1456004909490.gif -(46399B / 45.31KB, 194x198) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24391How deep does this go? Is there an illegal black market for stank tokens?Or should I say...brown market? >> !GOACID/XyA - Sun, 21 Feb 2016 05:20:19 EST kBHzXsAr No.24407 Reply 1456050019542.jpg -(30906B / 30.18KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24406>How deep does this go?All the way to the lower intestinal tract, baby. >> William Sashdone - Thu, 27 Oct 2016 14:18:28 EST ZjEQh2nY No.24565 Reply >>24407a sucky sucky pat on the back
>> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Sat, 20 Feb 2016 16:48:29 EST EPyVj4pN No.24406 Reply 1456004909490.gif -(46399B / 45.31KB, 194x198) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24391How deep does this go? Is there an illegal black market for stank tokens?Or should I say...brown market?
>> !GOACID/XyA - Sun, 21 Feb 2016 05:20:19 EST kBHzXsAr No.24407 Reply 1456050019542.jpg -(30906B / 30.18KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24406>How deep does this go?All the way to the lower intestinal tract, baby.
>> William Sashdone - Thu, 27 Oct 2016 14:18:28 EST ZjEQh2nY No.24565 Reply >>24407a sucky sucky pat on the back
favorite jenk literature? View Thread Reply Hide kerflap - Sat, 10 Sep 2016 12:30:29 EST 72B1saWH No.24538 File: 1473525029873.jpg -(70162B / 68.52KB, 492x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what is ur favorite thing to read on da jenk. I love reading da sonichu, it make so much sense on dat jenk. nigga you just went full KERFLAP >> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Thu, 15 Sep 2016 00:09:56 EST DH840aw8 No.24542 Reply 1473912596189.jpg -(26355B / 25.74KB, 199x310) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. DICKS EVERYWHERE >> Priscilla Honeybanks - Thu, 22 Sep 2016 13:45:29 EST WhD65Rst No.24545 Reply >>24538Mein Kampf goes quite well with huffin that brown. >> Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Fri, 14 Oct 2016 07:44:05 EST ym3hngpU No.24559 Reply >>24538written by J. Jenkins himself, doesn't get much better than this https://humanurehandbook.com/downloads/H2.pdf
>> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Thu, 15 Sep 2016 00:09:56 EST DH840aw8 No.24542 Reply 1473912596189.jpg -(26355B / 25.74KB, 199x310) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. DICKS EVERYWHERE
>> Priscilla Honeybanks - Thu, 22 Sep 2016 13:45:29 EST WhD65Rst No.24545 Reply >>24538Mein Kampf goes quite well with huffin that brown.
>> Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Fri, 14 Oct 2016 07:44:05 EST ym3hngpU No.24559 Reply >>24538written by J. Jenkins himself, doesn't get much better than this https://humanurehandbook.com/downloads/H2.pdf
smuggling jenk into prison View Thread Reply Hide changaaki - Tue, 16 Aug 2016 18:34:11 EST TIgNiehl No.24527 File: 1471386851489.jpg -(24421B / 23.85KB, 574x275) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Has anyone here ever keistered their jenk? Did you use a condom? Or did you just plug the gas right up your butt? (would that even work???) >> Henry Tootshaw - Sun, 11 Sep 2016 09:31:05 EST vGp5vUF0 No.24541 Reply 1473600665630.jpg -(144988B / 141.59KB, 640x831) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Are they denying you food and water? Is there something in place preventing you from cupping your hands under your scrotum with the brew in it and letting it ferment directly into your taint for a subtle yet prolonged experience? >> Beatrice Greenstone - Mon, 19 Sep 2016 00:28:13 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24544 Reply >>24541>Are they denying you food and water? this, nobody but a first time offender smuggles it in because you can brew in your cell so easily so everyone does it, even the people who don't jenk cause they can trade it for cigs & buttsex
>> Henry Tootshaw - Sun, 11 Sep 2016 09:31:05 EST vGp5vUF0 No.24541 Reply 1473600665630.jpg -(144988B / 141.59KB, 640x831) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Are they denying you food and water? Is there something in place preventing you from cupping your hands under your scrotum with the brew in it and letting it ferment directly into your taint for a subtle yet prolonged experience?
>> Beatrice Greenstone - Mon, 19 Sep 2016 00:28:13 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24544 Reply >>24541>Are they denying you food and water? this, nobody but a first time offender smuggles it in because you can brew in your cell so easily so everyone does it, even the people who don't jenk cause they can trade it for cigs & buttsex
Jenk Question View Thread Reply Hide Henry Drannerhood - Fri, 26 Aug 2016 14:20:42 EST iGYOpzOJ No.24529 File: 1472235642297.png -(79516B / 77.65KB, 216x223) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I am a fine Jenk Connoisseur who only huffs the primest of Jenk and get jonked on a daily basis. I was wondering how much jonking it would take for me to jenk the life out of my body? Could getting too jonked kill me? Please hurry! i'm on about 40ccs of Jenk right now and i'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms >> David Hallycocke - Mon, 29 Aug 2016 23:51:14 EST TCsSFL2G No.24530 Reply about tree fiddy >> GEORGE IS GETTIN' UPSET !owU3wSU682 - Sun, 04 Sep 2016 02:35:31 EST 6D3U7uGu No.24533 Reply 1472970931769.gif -(1729283B / 1.65MB, 200x142) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I don't condone suicide attempts. Huff safely, brah! If you run out of jenk, a combination of diazepam and PCP is known to be the best medicine for /jenk/ withdrawal besides the brown gold itself.But no, it's not possible to "overdose" on jenk; you can only die from stupid mistakes like sucking a balloon into your throat or going to sleep with a fart mask over your face. Jenkem is uncannily safe in that way. >> Clara Brepperhood - Sun, 11 Sep 2016 01:41:46 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24540 Reply >>24533i tried to save up enough to see if i could suffocate myself in a jenk atmosphere so thick that there wasn't enough oxygen, but i just can handle having a stash that big, every time get like 10% of what i need i just good on a crazy jerk bender. never od'd, did inhale the baloon a few times before i learned about using volcano bags for safety.sell your toilethuff jenk erryday
>> GEORGE IS GETTIN' UPSET !owU3wSU682 - Sun, 04 Sep 2016 02:35:31 EST 6D3U7uGu No.24533 Reply 1472970931769.gif -(1729283B / 1.65MB, 200x142) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I don't condone suicide attempts. Huff safely, brah! If you run out of jenk, a combination of diazepam and PCP is known to be the best medicine for /jenk/ withdrawal besides the brown gold itself.But no, it's not possible to "overdose" on jenk; you can only die from stupid mistakes like sucking a balloon into your throat or going to sleep with a fart mask over your face. Jenkem is uncannily safe in that way.
>> Clara Brepperhood - Sun, 11 Sep 2016 01:41:46 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24540 Reply >>24533i tried to save up enough to see if i could suffocate myself in a jenk atmosphere so thick that there wasn't enough oxygen, but i just can handle having a stash that big, every time get like 10% of what i need i just good on a crazy jerk bender. never od'd, did inhale the baloon a few times before i learned about using volcano bags for safety.sell your toilethuff jenk erryday
Super Stank View Thread Reply Hide Nightshade !M6R0eWkIpk - Tue, 11 Nov 2014 12:02:30 EST ontOm7t9 No.23656 File: 1415725350806.jpg -(81279B / 79.37KB, 1013x574) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. A jenk so stank you brown out permanently just from hearing about it.So the rumor is there is some JENK imported from China that is supposed to be some REAL killer SHIT. Have any of you shit hippies heard about this? 7 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read. >> Graham Dremmerkodge - Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:40:28 EST z03xZq+k No.23731 Reply Its made by force feeding children chipotle then making them drink Mexican tap water. >> Clara Moblinghud - Thu, 08 Sep 2016 03:15:24 EST XN3KJ7x7 No.24536 Reply >>23731Bump >> Ian Smallridge - Sat, 10 Sep 2016 13:06:46 EST 8AS/JorQ No.24539 Reply >>23656what episode of ATHF is that?
>> Graham Dremmerkodge - Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:40:28 EST z03xZq+k No.23731 Reply Its made by force feeding children chipotle then making them drink Mexican tap water.
>> Ian Smallridge - Sat, 10 Sep 2016 13:06:46 EST 8AS/JorQ No.24539 Reply >>23656what episode of ATHF is that?
weed infused jenk [fail] View Thread Reply Hide Polly Dartwell - Sat, 10 Sep 2016 01:20:08 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24537 File: 1473484808710.png -(190993B / 186.52KB, 508x351) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I have a massive stash of bud left from last year's outdoor harvest & I'm trying to get rid of it fast now cause I need to make room for this year's take. So the easiest way to get rid of weed without wasting it is to eat the stuff. Nobody can smoke an ounce in a day, but I can eat 2z easy. I get high like you wouldn't believe, its fantastic, but it has this one downside, i'm loud af. My farts smell like someone just opened a jar of the nastiest sour d you ever met and shits smell even more dank. So of course I realized that I can make the best jenk ever & I set it up, but its just not working. There is plenty of piss and shit, I've been keeping the bottle in a pretty warm place, but out of direct sunlight, but there isn't any magic happening. limp ballon, no gas at all. at first i thought maybe jolly african-americans were sneaking in & stealing my jenkane at night, so i put a camera on the stash and nobody is touching it.do marijuana somehow prevent the jenk form fermentane ?
jenk appreciation View Thread Reply Hide Caroline Grimstock - Tue, 12 Jul 2016 03:22:23 EST y0kyUWWx No.24500 File: 1468308143234.jpg -(28140B / 27.48KB, 253x243) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRkmR-PZb5o >> Phyllis Sigglefuck - Thu, 14 Jul 2016 03:30:33 EST y0kyUWWx No.24505 Reply >>24500https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVWjJoheWeM >> Graham Buzzstock - Fri, 26 Aug 2016 05:20:50 EST wa1SiPgo No.24528 Reply >>24500 Should be titled dick nose
>> Phyllis Sigglefuck - Thu, 14 Jul 2016 03:30:33 EST y0kyUWWx No.24505 Reply >>24500https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVWjJoheWeM
>> Graham Buzzstock - Fri, 26 Aug 2016 05:20:50 EST wa1SiPgo No.24528 Reply >>24500 Should be titled dick nose
officer andre on sum jenk View Thread Reply Hide Albert Wazzlebodge - Fri, 05 Aug 2016 19:35:59 EST kjvBxago No.24518 File: 1470440159330.gif -(50031B / 48.86KB, 250x250) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ol6tb22QDU
You can smoke and you can drink View Thread Reply Hide Jenny Sonderman - Tue, 14 Jun 2016 16:23:59 EST twTnTEjO No.24482 File: 1465935839710.jpg -(40716B / 39.76KB, 400x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. you'll cowards don't even huff jenk >> Emma Smallworth - Thu, 07 Jul 2016 22:17:16 EST ZSYa31Xf No.24495 Reply jenk urself my man >> Phyllis Chongertadge - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:12:45 EST hUwQPTQb No.24515 Reply 1470237165301.jpg -(28137B / 27.48KB, 345x298) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24482 >> Phyllis Chongertadge - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:13:42 EST hUwQPTQb No.24516 Reply 1470237222301.jpg -(40148B / 39.21KB, 500x314) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. DICKS EVERYWHERE
>> Phyllis Chongertadge - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:12:45 EST hUwQPTQb No.24515 Reply 1470237165301.jpg -(28137B / 27.48KB, 345x298) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>24482
>> Phyllis Chongertadge - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:13:42 EST hUwQPTQb No.24516 Reply 1470237222301.jpg -(40148B / 39.21KB, 500x314) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. DICKS EVERYWHERE
Jenk stank View Thread Reply Hide Dank Jenk - Thu, 07 Jul 2016 02:14:24 EST NU6iIROf No.24493 File: 1467872064361.jpg -(87157B / 85.11KB, 700x454) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. just checking in on my fellow jenk'ers, wanted to know how everyone prefers to collect their favorite jenk, I always have to lean with the elephant, although I seem to always lean toward quantity than quality... >> Basil Firringgold - Wed, 13 Jul 2016 04:06:26 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24504 Reply >>24493animal jenk is slavery
>> Basil Firringgold - Wed, 13 Jul 2016 04:06:26 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24504 Reply >>24493animal jenk is slavery
the tools View Thread Reply Hide Clara Drillywen - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 05:49:30 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24507 File: 1469353770587.jpg -(5711B / 5.58KB, 303x263) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Jenk paraphernalia thread:I've found that if you squat over a mason jar just right you can tuck your dick into it and also shit in it directly at the same time no problem. I have one of those mason jar bong lids & I just plug the stem put a balloon on the mouthpiece. >> Clara Drillywen - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 05:55:39 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24508 Reply The other thing I found out is you think your stuff is all run out and you need to start a new batch? Use it in your bong, the heat & agitation will release a few more good jenx. >> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:53:54 EST 5TLZb0zO No.24509 Reply 1469422434927.jpg -(212071B / 207.10KB, 900x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Thanks for the tip. I've been using one jar for my anus and one for my dick, but this could save a little time.>>24508>Use it in your bong, the heat & agitation will release a few more good jenx.Le fuq? You can't allow a flame anywhere near jenkem; it'll destroy the jenkylines!When a jar of jenk is almost done producing, what I like to do is take a spoonful of fecal solids from the bottom and add it to my new jar of fresh poop and pee. It gets the fresh poop fermenting within MINUTES. If you know anything about winemaking, this is similar to reusing the yeasty goop from a finished batch of wine to kickstart fermentation in a new batch.Good luck and happy huffing! >> Lydia Hobberwill - Fri, 29 Jul 2016 13:18:55 EST j9yfopIv No.24510 Reply u cann get high on bonging jenk its an ancient sercret the secrert jenkylines are released into ur lungs and itss like a whole nother kind of high but I wouldt recomend doing it often becausee it an lead to too much aweseomness! =D
>> Clara Drillywen - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 05:55:39 EST 8FFjxEPF No.24508 Reply The other thing I found out is you think your stuff is all run out and you need to start a new batch? Use it in your bong, the heat & agitation will release a few more good jenx.
>> CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:53:54 EST 5TLZb0zO No.24509 Reply 1469422434927.jpg -(212071B / 207.10KB, 900x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Thanks for the tip. I've been using one jar for my anus and one for my dick, but this could save a little time.>>24508>Use it in your bong, the heat & agitation will release a few more good jenx.Le fuq? You can't allow a flame anywhere near jenkem; it'll destroy the jenkylines!When a jar of jenk is almost done producing, what I like to do is take a spoonful of fecal solids from the bottom and add it to my new jar of fresh poop and pee. It gets the fresh poop fermenting within MINUTES. If you know anything about winemaking, this is similar to reusing the yeasty goop from a finished batch of wine to kickstart fermentation in a new batch.Good luck and happy huffing!
>> Lydia Hobberwill - Fri, 29 Jul 2016 13:18:55 EST j9yfopIv No.24510 Reply u cann get high on bonging jenk its an ancient sercret the secrert jenkylines are released into ur lungs and itss like a whole nother kind of high but I wouldt recomend doing it often becausee it an lead to too much aweseomness! =D
Sharing the joys of Jenk View Thread Reply Hide Betsy Pashstock - Thu, 31 Dec 2015 17:13:13 EST 4/RnJjul No.24359 File: 1451599993826.jpg -(68456B / 66.85KB, 550x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. If I decide to stare it's usually with a, "Yeah, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" look.I'm about 6'7'' so even when I'm just trying to be friendly (i.e. not farting on a stanger kid's head) and meeting a family member's or friend's kid for the first time, I've noticed they get very 'hide between their mother's legs' intimidated on sight if I'm not sitting down. So it's not hard for me to silence/intimidate a child, especially when I'm trying to.However, a few times I've been called out. One time I was pretty drunk with a friend at a Target buying Risk (and no, we never finished playing the whole game). This little mexican 5-7 year old with a mohawk, was being an insufferable little shit in the action figure section. I heard him from like 5 aisles over and it was like nails on a chalkboard. I tell my friend, "I'm gonna fart on this kids head. Watch and learn."I saunter on over to the aisle in question and see the vile little prick calling his mom an "idiot" for not buying him a huge fucking G.I. JOE The Movie vehicle (which pissed me off even more considering how awful that movie was. BUY SOME GOOD TOYS!) "I already bought that one for you and you broke it by throwing it down the stairs" "SHUT UP. I NEED IT. IT'S THE ONLY ONE I DON'T HAVE NOW." The mother was younger than me (I'm mid twenties) and gave a defeated look, "I don't have enough money right now." "YOU ARE AN IDIOT," and continued to just berate and publicly shame this woman.At the time, I was on a strict Chipotle carnitas burrito diet. And while I was watching all this, my stomach gave me an initial warning gurgle (very courteous stomach) telling me I was about an hour away from punishing the toilet. Serendipity! Destiny!I inch a bit closer to my prey, inspecting some wrestling toys and pondering the weird homoeroticness of the whole 'sport' in general. The kid shouts "FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU!" The mom rolls her eyes and turns her back to the kid to ignore him. And could you believe it, the kid gets on his hands and knees and starts taking the toy out of the box. It's go time, motherfucker.I position my back towards him and at this point am like 2 feet away from him. His head is down, getting frustrated with those god damn twisty tie things, and I go for the kill. I bend down to reach for the one of the toys on the lower shelf. At this point, my ass is INCHES away from this kids head.Now, generally speaking, the best way to go about this is to act casual, drop your belly bomb, then walk away after a few seconds like nothing is out of the ordinary. I usually go one aisle over and listen to the kid's reaction in delight. However, today I couldn't help myself. I have my head tilted back looking at this kid out of the corner of my eye, to ensure accuracy.I'm so close that from a distance it looks like I'm about to sit on him,. My friend sees this happening and can no longer contain himself. He's covering his mouth, but his 'hee-haw' hyperventilating donkey chortle is fairly audible over the late 90's pop muzak playing on the loudspeakers.The kid immediately looks up towards the laughter, but can't help but notice there is an ass now directly in his face. Now, I'm trying not to laugh but also panicking as I just made eye contact with him. He furls his brow and I look over in the mother's direction, still back towards us. I relish in the moment and the look on this child's confused and naive face.The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu.In total, it lasted about 4 seconds but for that kid, it must have seemed like time was frozen. The long-term severe brain damage which he no doubt suffered, only added to that effect.When I finished with my bidness (i.e. forcing a little boy to huff my farts), there was a silent, pregnant pause. The kid was clearly shocked and stunned. No one had ever stood up to this dwarf sociopath in his whole life. I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.I make my move first, picking up the toy I was "reaching for" off the low shelf, take a few steps forward and stare at it for a few seconds. On '2 alligator,' the only thing the kid could manage to do was burst into tears. My friend senses danger 'the jig is up' and his head darts for cover. The mom turns around to see her kid with an open toy, crying on the floor and me minding my own business.She walks up to him and asks what's wrong but the kid can't speak. All he gets out is, "BAWAWAAAWAFARTBAWAWA." It took every fiber in my body not to laugh. I put the toy back on a middle shelf, turn around, give a final nonchalant looksy and then begin to take my exit.Sensing that his assailant was getting away scot-free, he somehow managed to compose himself for a moment. He shouts, "HE FARTED ON ME!" I could feel him pointing at me but I continued to act like I was just browsing. I was ALMOST around the corner when the mom goes: Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 5 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read. >> James Peppercocke - Mon, 23 May 2016 18:25:27 EST 8d6M+9P8 No.24462 Reply >>24438preeeety preety good >> Rebecca Munnerkotch - Thu, 26 May 2016 05:26:51 EST 7PaoAzcN No.24466 Reply I don't know how I ended up in /jenk/ but this post was totally worth it. Many a good laughs were had while reading this. >> C-Higgy !lfsExjBfzE - Tue, 12 Jul 2016 13:46:41 EST tP9s6cDY No.24502 Reply Damn what a story.
>> James Peppercocke - Mon, 23 May 2016 18:25:27 EST 8d6M+9P8 No.24462 Reply >>24438preeeety preety good
>> Rebecca Munnerkotch - Thu, 26 May 2016 05:26:51 EST 7PaoAzcN No.24466 Reply I don't know how I ended up in /jenk/ but this post was totally worth it. Many a good laughs were had while reading this.
