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Sandwich


420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

had it for over five years.

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 13 Sep 2017 21:37:25 EST FLXOM1mO No.55090
File: 1505353045981.jpg -(4101055B / 3.91MB, 5152x2896) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. had it for over five years.
what is this thing on my hand?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Nell Smallstock - Tue, 19 Sep 2017 23:42:05 EST gA0Ln1Xg No.55101 Reply
yeah cut that bitch open. use fire/alcohol/peroxide to sanitize the procedure. looks like a nasty wart. prob has roots goin down into the flesh. either need surgery or ghetto surgery.
>>
Phyllis Gemmerworth - Sat, 23 Sep 2017 12:31:04 EST 3giE7+cL No.55107 Reply
>>55090
if its a wart you can oxygen starve it until it shrinks a bit, if oxygen starving doesn't shrink it it probably isn't a wart. coats of nail polish will help oxygen starve it.

Whatever it is don't cut it open. You have lots of options, file it down, burn it off with mild acid.. don't cut it open.. there are lots of home remedy's for warts and if it isn't one of them i think you should go to a doctor
>>
Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 09:42:46 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55628 Reply
1540042966153.png -(580515B / 566.91KB, 635x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>55090
I reccomend a 100% organic coconut oil enema asap.
On a nice quiet night, hang an enema bag over the bathroom door and gradually fill your rectum with 3kg certified organic coconut oil and cork yourself with a buttplug for 45 minutes. This has to be performed in the evening because one of the essential requirements for the success of this technique is that you gaze at the moon solemnly. This is the trigger for the oil to start to be absorbed by your body and into your bloodstream immediately. The healing properties will then begin actively search for abnormalities you didn't have at birth and combat them. The oil will get right to work on that big brown thing. It's good news from here - the healing remedy contained in the oil will completely destroy that unsightly BBT - infact anything visible on the surface of your body, including erasing bad tattoos. This effect also happens internally, for example dissolving any tumours you didn't even know you had yet! It's a natural, genuine miracle given to us by God. Treatment is 1x enema nocte, for 3x nights. You may experience considerable weight gain due to the high saturated fat content, but in my opinion it's a small price to pay to get rid of that marble you are holding.
Good luck.

Please help me oh god

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:49:35 EST 2HKiQJ7X No.54284
File: 1468442975638.jpg -(114491B / 111.81KB, 628x417) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Please help me oh god
Whenever I wipe my butt there is normally blood on the toilet paper. This has been going on for years.

I think most of the time I wipe too hard, and sometimes very rarely like today, the blood is bright red, and there is a lot of it.

Sometimes my butt itches and it is unbearable, so that's why I wipe so hard. I don't think it's parasites or anything.

I think the problem is the itching, that makes me wipe too hard and causes the bleeding.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Martha Cettingspear - Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:55:27 EST cbjyU/lT No.54326 Reply
1469206527860.jpg -(73716B / 71.99KB, 600x337) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>54299
A high-fiber diet can help ease bowel movements but does not necassarily cure the hemorrhoids. Also, watch the movie Wetlands.
>>
Basil Blopperwill - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 22:24:04 EST AXN7JBRm No.54367 Reply
Hemorrhoids, my man. Welcome to the club.

If you don't drink enough water, take lots of opiates/kratom, or eat on a regular cycle everyday, well... That'll do it.

My good friend and I both have had them regularly over the last year or two. My friend says he bleeds every time he poops, period. I used to 4/5 times but then I started experimenting. I had been taking kratom along with my RX of paxil, both of which can cause constipation, and hadn't been drinking enough water. As soon as I started eating an extra apple/banana/peach/mango/carrot/salad and drinking at least two liters of water a day, they've stopped. At least, I don't bleed. I still get the 'roids once or thrice a month but even then I don't usually bleed.

Some people were built with inferior buttholes, man. Don't sweat it. I freaked out too when it started. Just experiment with your daily habits and water/food intake. Also, soak your shitter in some cool water, use roid cream, squat to shit instead of sitting, and don't strain so hard. I've had really big, hard turds lodged up in there ( that would have 110% ripped open my backdoor) and used a small, smooth object with lube to break it apart gently to save on the tablespoon of blood. Awkward but efficient.
>>
Fuck Hunkinwick - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 20:35:44 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55626 Reply
1539995744153.jpg -(28002B / 27.35KB, 450x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>54284
If one's faeces gets too dry and knobbly and one experiences the sensation of being too full, or of it being 'stuck' (and if it becomes painful when you push) one is suffering from what people with a MD call haemorrhoids. The bulging veins that protrude internally and externally can be called 'piles' by people who cannot pronounce the word. One may apply the oil directly. The remedy is to use 100% pure coconut oil to soften up the stool and lubricate both the dry log and the interior rectum for slippery ghost-like elimination.
Coconut oil is a great tasting oil and inexpensive natural product to booty! The oil taken orally has a wonderful laxative effect, is quite palatable and doesn't cause the intestinal pain (pwristalsis) like other laxatives. Usual dosage is half a ladle in the morning before breakfast, another half ladle before food on an eve.
Proponents claim that coconut oil increases metabolism, helping women to lose weight. It aids ones body in breaking things down faster and helps things pass more quickly down the upper and lower pipes. This translates to smaller and more frequent stools. It is also a colon cleansing powerhouse.
The medium can quickly soften hard faeces and prevent the dangerous tearing or hemorrhaging when administered with a solid silver spoon around the Anus.
If one is not careful a heart-attacks can strike. The odds of this happensing increase exponentially the more one forces oneself to eliminate, straining too hard. This famously happened to Elvis, who had been extremely bunged up.
One fantastic method of relieving oneself is an enema, letting the oil work its magic for 20mins. A 1kg jar of coconut oil will suffice, one should remember to smear a little extra around the Anus with the back of a solid silver spoon (not stainless steel when dealing with haemorrhoids and fissures!) A gentle pat should then be given to the Anus to let it know it has pleased one. This curious ritual of patting the anus was invented in England when King Henry VIII was on the throne. King Henry would sit on his specially made wooden 'rectal oiling chair' where he would lower his robes, bend over exposing himself appropriately, and have a beautiful young maid apply the oil with her bare hands directly. It is thought he suffered from severe piles throughout his adult life, and took it out on his eight wives whom he would behead when they gave him shit about the maid.
The King's elm wood chair has been decontaminated and one may still view the chair, as it sits in a museum in Wales.
Good luck.

intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 01 Aug 2016 19:52:16 EST M82kuhz8 No.54364
File: 1470095536743.jpg -(437497B / 427.24KB, 2254x2056) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI
i was trying to get a cervical MRI earlier today but was unable to complete it. during the scans, my abdomen and intestines would pulse and twitch as if they were getting an electrical shock. the feelings eventually became so intense that i had to clench my entire body just to keep still, but i couldn't keep this up for 20 minutes. my intestines also feel screwed up and are making all kinds of funky noises after the mri. anyone know whats wrong?
>>
Matilda Muttingwater - Fri, 05 Aug 2016 00:10:40 EST 8rTptFiJ No.54371 Reply
magnetic resonance imaging uses heavy-fucking-duty magnets to take pictures of your insides, probably something magnetic ~ mettalic in your guts.
stuff sometimes gets trapped in the appendix, maybe that's it.
maybe try drinking milk of magnesia to clear things out.
>>
Angus Goodridge - Wed, 10 Aug 2016 22:00:23 EST z4Nfqeju No.54381 Reply
not sure, maybe you should get an mri of your abdomen to see whats wrong
>>
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:56:33 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55625 Reply
1539986193854.jpg -(274823B / 268.38KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>54364
Lose something recently ?!...
The stainless steel teaspoon from your 'oil and spoon' kit is missing up your ass somewhere! Duh.
In these dire circumstances, you desperately need a 2.5kg glass jar (the cheap plastic jars leak manufacturing chemicals) of 100% pure organico coconut oil, an enema kit, some duct tape, a magnet, and another stainless steel teaspoon to sort this out.
Apply the entire 2.5kg jar coconut oil via enema. Give your Anus a tap and a brief massage with the back of the spoon - it's comfiest with a hand on your stomach and a foot up by the window. Then take the new stainless steel teaspoon, attach the Magnet with the duct tape to it and insert it into your rectum. It should slip past your oily sphincter into your rectum with ease. Fish around gently until you hear a metallic clank, and withdraw gently... Everything should come back out together, plus the missing teaspoon. Voila. You've removed the original spoon and saved yourself an expensive and highly embarrassing conversation and procedure at the hospital. If you used a shifty toy magnet, the original teaspoon plus new teaspoon, plus the magnet AND some duct tape is now stuck up your ass, suspended in 2.5kg coconut oil.
Boy you've a lot of explaining to do in the ER.
You're welcome.
Good luck.

promoting benin expansion

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 15 Aug 2016 04:50:09 EST zgqyrGtr No.54391
File: 1471251009013.jpg -(775702B / 757.52KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. promoting benin expansion
Hey, I hear there are safe, sexuologist approved, ways to jelk? How about doctors?

Also, if I see that erection size decreases over many years, what actions, besides diet and physical activity to improve the cardio-vascular system, do I take? Some medical massagers, specific exercizes?
>>
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:04:45 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55624 Reply
1539983085854.jpg -(13019B / 12.71KB, 550x413) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>54391
Jelking (or jelqing) is a pleasureable shaft-stroking penis exercise that lovingly trains your micropenis with the goal of increasing size. Psychological studies have shown that many men who cannot cope with their tiny penis size are malignant narcissists, primary psychopaths or even European.
Jelqing involves applying maximum pressure and torquing the micropenis in a milking-like twisty motion to cause the 'organ' to grow a few millimetres in both length and girth, making a huge difference. Jelqing is typically done with 100% Virginiaia coconut oil to make it easier and more effective. Your pharmacist can sell you a special Jelking spoon and coconut oil kit, if you are a big man brave enough to enquire.
So how to Jelq? Well, you'll need a 5kg jar of coconut oil, a stainless steel teaspoon, five fingers and a tiny penis. Begin by lubricating your tiny penis with a stainless steel teaspoonful of the coconut oil. It's tempting to immediately insert the teaspoon anally at this stage but DO NOT! Instead, use willpower to form an OK-sign-like grip with your index finger and thumb, around the base of your tiny penis. With pressure applied, very very slowly slide your fingers up the shaft of the tiny penis over the course of 2 seconds. Stop and release your fingers when you reach the glans. Tap your Anus gently with the teaspoon, like to tap a boiled egg, and lovingly rub the sphincter in a clockwise rubbing motion if you are right-handed, and anticlockwise if a lefty. NOW insert handle of spoon deep into rectum and slowly withdraw. This last part is the secret to the success of the entire technique and must not be omitted under any circumstances. Plus the micropenis will throw a wobbly and refuse to gain size.
Dry jelqing (which is jelqing without a teaspoon of coconut oil) is highly discouraged. Why? Well, you don't get an even, clean sliding motion on your tiny penis, and could even cause yourself cardiac myopia thy or hyperpituitarism.
For most guys with a micropenis, as they enjoy their jelqing session they will naturally get a harder and harder erection. That's not surprising - jelqing actually feels amazing. Maintaining a 70-80% erection level is slightly challenging because it requires you pay attention to your body.
Also, never jelq with a 100% full erection as it reduces any gains you've made. A word of warning: Ejaculation at ANY time (night or day) during treatment will result in the micropenis throwing its metaphorical hands in the air and giving up, disappearing for good. You may as well get breast implants and become a woman at this point. Treatment consists of using exactly 9.85x teaspoons of coconut oil per night, 3x anal spoon massages and 0 ejaculation.
Continue jelking nightly until the 5kg jar is finished, or until your Anus has been completely eroded.
Photo illustrates the phenomenon of micropenis.
Good luck.

is it likely i have add

View Thread Reply
- Thu, 18 Oct 2018 10:30:10 EST 2gPg0wkX No.55622
File: 1539873010007.jpg -(62291B / 60.83KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. is it likely i have add
//sorry if this is wrong board, i feel like it more concerns my health than stims themselves

Stimulants are my drug of choice for a multitude of reasons, but not because they make me really energetic. In fact, stims tend to have the opposite effect on me - I feel calm and focused, and will usually just feel like laying down and talking with those around me rather than do anything usually associated with uppers.

Is it possible I have ADD? I'm 18f and have always done fairly well in school but have never done any work in class or at home, just an hour or two of cramming the night before a test. Usually if I try to actively study I just end up staring at my wall without meaning to.

Seeing as stimulants calm me down and help me focus on singular tasks or thoughts, it occurred to me that I might just be unintentionally medicating undiagnosed ADD. Thoughts?
>>
George Blatherfield - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 03:27:42 EST k6OPhw89 No.55623 Reply
>>55622
I guess, are these prescribed? Some types of amphetamine are more-so like you describe. Illicit or otherwise.

I think most have a hard time focusing on things sometimes. Or a lot. I never liked paperwork, reading instructions, etc but amphetamine can make things that were boring, uninteresting, suddenly interesting.

So it's difficult to say.

ADD or not, surely drugs that are used to help focus, do work.

Relying on them, eh like getting a script, if that is what you are kinda wondering, I really wouldn't bother. A script, use it for however long, months years, most actually regret it. As they may be back at square one, or even further behind in coping with things than when they started ADD drugs.

But, some amphetamine can make one focus, think clearly 'as prescribed' and not be like bouncing all oveer the place without direction. So in all, surely you may have some sort of issues that keep you from focusing, similar to ADD.

I barely turned in 2nd grade homework, when I found I still got a passing grade without turning it in. Lack of focus. Oversight.
But in school most things were easy? SO that was my free pass. Do good in school, and not good on my own time.
>>
Graham Paddledire - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 13:30:59 EST seInJVW2 No.55639 Reply
inb4 coconut oil spammer

I have a cold...

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 15 Oct 2016 11:09:51 EST OMRfG0ie No.54563
File: 1476544191165.jpg -(20276B / 19.80KB, 295x190) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I have a cold...
And I've woken up with really bad eye mucus for the second morning in a row. I have to blindly navigate my way to the bathroom, grab a washcloth, wet it with warm water, and wipe my eyes a hundred times just to be able to see. And even then, I still won't get it all.

Why?! This hasn't happened to me during a cold/flu for 10+ years and the person that I think got me sick isn't dealing with this bullshit. Why is this cold different? And how do I prevent/treat it?
>>
Ian Shittingdale - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 21:57:17 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55619 Reply
1539827837718.jpg -(220181B / 215.02KB, 1600x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>54563
It's a little late for prevention if you're waking up blind.
It sounds like you have an irritated conjunctivava. The 'eye mucus' you are complaining about is dead bacteria cells and blood by-products. Do not contaminate your other eye with the infected gunk that is coming out of your other one. Luckily for you I know a 24hr cure. It involves dabbing coconut oil every 24mins for 24hrs onto your Anus with a cotton bud. You can purchase a kit, or may have the two items to hand already. Before we go any further, let’s go over some coconut oil biochemistry basics. Triglycerides (dietary fats) are made up of a glycerol backbone + 3 fatty acids. It’s the chemical structure of the majority of fatty acids (i.e., the number of double bonds, if any) in the triglyceride that dictates the classifications that humans created for them. This means applying coconut oil via a cotton tip to the Anus will cure your ailment quickly (even though it seems like an eye problem).
Thanks goodness the problem is not penis gunk each morning. Imagine washing that a hundred times!
Good luck.
>>
Rebecca Nebblestig - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 00:47:57 EST WCBFA8xj No.55621 Reply
>>54563
Maybe late but a good time to wash your bedding. Including comforters. I like to wear clother a second day, whatever. Wash dirty clothes. Vacuum your floors.
Maybe cover couch you use for a few days. I think dust kinda has something to do with this. Maybe dust some, keeping it from your eyes.

Not sure if a virus causes this, but if you use visiene make very sure not to touch your eyes with tip of applicator. Pharmacists, if you call them they usually will be happy to take a moment to explain things.

GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?

View Thread Reply
- Sun, 17 Dec 2017 12:07:07 EST xqN5w2gn No.55203
File: 1513530427328.jpg -(87161B / 85.12KB, 500x707) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?
My girlfriend choked the ever-living daylights out of me about ten days ago (consentually) and we (stupidly) didn't look up how to do it safely beforehand, aaaaand I think she may have messed something up.

My neck has been sore for over a week, I have this wierd rushing sound in my left ear, and I just feel tired and dizzy frequently.

I'm hoping it's just a coincidence and I have a... IDK, an inner-ear infection or something. Or is it possible she damaged a major vein/artery? She wants me to see a doc but we're from a very small town that's hardcore religious and I'm not sure how I could explain this to a doctor without a) outing myself b) talking about sex c) the dr thinking I'm a battered woman d)shelling out for nothing

Ugh, help. Thanks
>>
Graham Sigglebedge - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 22:43:07 EST 8yUHTDg0 No.55204 Reply
i didnt know this type of stuff went on in lesbian relationships. interesting
>>
Jack Fummlewell - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 00:45:31 EST M36+aLLi No.55207 Reply
>>55206
If you're REALLY worried then go to the doc. If you think she may have sprained the muscle in your neck, don't worry with it. I say this assuming you're in the USA where going to the doc costs a shit ton. If you're not, then go!
>>
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 18:56:41 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55618 Reply
1539817001432.jpg -(194244B / 189.69KB, 1500x1500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>55203
I am a highly sexual lesbian in a highly sexual lesbian relationship, and also a highly certified expert in lesbian sexual relationships. My highly sexual, expert, lesbian sexual relationship advice for both of you highly sexual lesbians in a certified, highly sexual lesbian relationship together, is this - First i recommend your partner and yourself purchase a 1000ml 'spoon and oil' kit each from a pharmacy or bring the ingredients together like yourselves. Both slowly get comfortable and naked together, make out and undress eachother slowly while kissing and making small sharp inhalations into one another's ears, flick your tongues and proceed to work up to administering an Organic 100% virgirginia coconut oil enema on eachother. This will soothe the injury consentually inflicted from the naughty bdsm sex you both participated in recently, and will also be quite light fun in the bedroom for a change for the both of you. I suspect you may be tempted to introduce your wrist and ankle restraints for that feeling of exquisite helplessness as you take turns to be fully anally filled, and this is quite alright by me. Remember to bring a teaspoon with you into the bedroom. Preferably a solid silver spoon, as frankly a stainless steel one is just not good enough for the both of you delightful little minxes. Playfully take turns gently massaging eachother over your lacy panties, insert your fingers into one another's mouths, kiss deeply and work up to gently massaging eachother anally with the coconut oil on your curling fingers. Moan and push the silver spoon into eachother. Deeply, in and out, in and out at a slow pace, your favourite position I'm sure. Then take the silver spoon when you are both completely full, and firmly rub the back of the spoon in circular motions clockwise then anticlockwise around the sphincter muscle and squirm for eachother. You're both highly worked up. Look into each others eyes - it is normal for your breathing to begin to quicken even further. Notice the dilation of your partners pupils. You've both taken the full 1000ml of the oil and know tomorrow you will be refreshed and content.
Push a finger up your own bum, and run to the bathroom quickly.
Congratulations!

Rash

View Thread Reply
- Sun, 18 Jun 2017 11:39:02 EST kx17QheM No.55019
File: 1497800342602.jpg -(969226B / 946.51KB, 3264x2448) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Rash
I have this rash showing up everywhere. What is it?
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Shit Girringpedge - Mon, 26 Jun 2017 21:09:10 EST W8FkDObv No.55031 Reply
>>55025

heres the thing though, fungi aren't bacteria. if it is indeed fungal in origin you will need antifungal medication from the drug store. there are many over the counter brands. if you are still having this problem i would suggest going this route.

also side-note, go easy on the peroxide. that shit is like a microbiological nuke. kills all the millions of good healthy bacteria too.
>>
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 17:22:20 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55617 Reply
1539811340432.jpg -(20207B / 19.73KB, 500x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>55019
Do you know anything about the 'oil and spoon' method? This was told to me in confidence by an English relative. You use medical grade 100% coconut oil, applying it liberally to your Anus and patting gently with a spoon until absorbed. Sounds counterproductive when it isn't even on your asshole, right? But I swear this is true, and helped my Aunty Doris relieve the fungal itch from her sweaty bra straps after wearing it for a week when her washing machine broke down and she couldn't get to the laundrette. She told me it was all in a handy kit she purchased from one of those disability company's that put flyers through your door. The kit consists of 1kg of coconut oil in a fancy glass jar and a small teaspoon (which she kept for making her and her friends tea each morning). She said she wasn't sure about putting it anywhere near her treasured jacksie, but followed the instructions on the pack and it worked marvellously. You can buy a kit over the Internet I think, or get the two items together yourself. She had trouble getting up off the bathroom floor after she had done the procedure on her bottom, and I had to feign concern. All the old ladies in her tower block now have a kit, just incase.
Good luck.

unexperienced

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 02 Nov 2016 06:27:03 EST /Ttk4zqa No.54591
File: 1478082423754.jpg -(13187B / 12.88KB, 150x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. unexperienced
should I get a professional for a chemical peel or do it myself?
>>
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:57:00 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55615 Reply
>>54591
I am a beautician, and I say you can do it yourself at home with a small amount of coconut oil. A 5kg jar should be enough for your needs. Coconut oil, or copra oil, is an edible oil extracted from the kernel or meat of mature coconuts harvested from the coconut palm which grows in the plantations of the Great Barrier Reef. You take a stainless steel tablespoon of 100% pure organic coconut oil at a time, and smear it all over your face using the back of the spoon. Spread around generously. Once you have covered your face and forehead completely, take the remainder of the jar and utilise in an enema at exactly 11.35pm at this time of year as it works in conjunction with the moon. Because of its high saturated fat content, it is slow to oxidize and, thus, resistant to rancidification whilst in your rectum. After 30mins of withholding, give your Anus a playful little tap or two with the stainless steel spoon, say 'open sesame' and expel. The tap is THE SECRET to the facial technique working properly! Remove excess oil from yourself, clean face thoroughly. Voila! You are now beautiful inside and out. You're welcome.
Good luck.

Fishy smell

View Thread Reply
- Thu, 16 Mar 2017 18:20:57 EST VtmCVvMA No.54852
File: 1489702857384.jpg -(1007432B / 983.82KB, 2560x1440) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fishy smell
So I fucked this prostitute 3 months ago and her vagina raked. My penis still smells like fish and its been 3 months. I called the nurse at the doctors office and she didn't say anything. Anybody know what this is and how to get rid of it so I can have sex with my girlfriend?
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Edwin Goodbanks - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 16:02:21 EST sSi3q2bS No.54858 Reply
>I called the nurse at the doctors office and she didn't say anything.

holy shit I would like to hear how that conversation went
>>
Angus Heckleridge - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 03:02:51 EST VtmCVvMA No.54860 Reply
>>54858
Hey I had sex with this girl and my genitals smell.
Let me ask the doctor......he said he doesn't know
>>
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:17:18 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55614 Reply
>>54852
If you continue without treatment much longer, you will be saying goodbye to your chap and saying hello to a rancid trout in your pants young man. I highly reccomend starting coconut oil masturbation sessions asap - method is to smother your pudding with 25-30g of organic coconut oil, but replace your fingers with 5 stainless steel spoons. Wood spoons will not work despite their name. 25mins minimum of this, 30mins max, for 7 nights. Using circular motions up and down the shaft paying extra attention to the banjo string area where the fish smell originates. You MUST use this technique for 7 nights DO NOT quit halfway through or you will be brain dead the next morning and it will be all your fault. I know an English guy this happened to.
Good luck.

Spermatocele

View Thread Reply
- Thu, 25 Aug 2016 08:07:43 EST YO0OApYS No.54435
File: 1472126863856.jpg -(26769B / 26.14KB, 400x320) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Spermatocele
I've got a "Spermatocele" in my nutsac, basically a cyst. It's painful. How do I get rid of it without surgery? My doctor said he wont remove it until it gets to "the size of a grapefruit" which could be years away. I don't want to wait that long or to have it grow that big.

Would regular gentle squeezing make the fluid move out of the cyst?
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Lillian Buvingwill - Wed, 26 Oct 2016 05:46:51 EST LQqHEoxA No.54583 Reply
>>54435

Find a different doctor. The one you're seeing is a dipshit. A cyst might rupture and spread an infection that might kill you, make you sterile, cause gangrene or all kinds of nasty complications.
>>
Cyril Bropperway - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 13:05:13 EST ovwJXydd No.54985 Reply
>>54435
ittl go away by itself dude. i had one not too long ago. just keep nuttin
>>
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 14:51:09 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55613 Reply
>>54435
Cover your cyst in 10ml coconut oil and rub it gently with a spoon for 125 seconds, or until the oil is absorbed. Use the back of the spoon and remember to sterilise the spoon first in your favoured manner. The coconut oil begins dissolving the contents of the spermatocele like hydrochloric acid would. Don't be tempted to to use more than 10ml or you risk dissolving not just the cyst but your entire ball sack too. Use circular motions clockwise and then anticlockwise and i guarantee results overnight.
Good luck!

Mucus in my stool

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 18 Apr 2016 21:54:39 EST 0VoOU4Ma No.54023
File: 1461030879936.jpg -(1865041B / 1.78MB, 4160x2340) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Mucus in my stool
Recently ive been plugging a lot of 3meopcp since i got it. Havent been the most sterile or safe with it. In yhe last few days ive been finding it hard to poop most of the time and often times i get mucus in my poop like in the picture. I do have very slight discomfort in my stomach and bladder regions as well but its not horrible. What could it possibly be? I cant really see a doctor right now so please dont recommend it even though I know its the best option if available. Has this happened to anyone else? Can i let it pass on its own? How worrried shoyld i really be?
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Cyril Fidgeshaw - Mon, 09 May 2016 23:19:31 EST oF3bOWEj No.54074 Reply
Had any other symptoms? Nausea? Do you pee normally? I suggest you start living a healthy life for a few days, with better diet, more fibber, water, to help your intestins. And don't do that 3meopcp thing, whatever the fuck that is, if you think that is what is causing the symptoms. And see if you get better. If you don't, I suggest doctor.
Also, if there's fever, or the pain increases, I have some bad news for your wallet, you gotta see a doctor if you wanna tell the tale.
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Augustus Tootville - Tue, 10 May 2016 07:50:43 EST yK6iSoPH No.54075 Reply
mucus is a typical response to the irritation of anal canal
it is very likely plugging is causing this
stop plugging for a few days and avoid doing it so often in the future
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Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 14:31:26 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55612 Reply
The Great Barrier Reef is home to some of the most spectacular coconut plantations in the world, and the oil they produce has been found to be able to cure almost 57,5% of all ailments one would go to a hospital for help with! The oil is worth more than gold to the people who know the secret technique of using it. Clinical studies have proven it can even regenerate complex organs like eyes if the treatment plan is strictly adhered to (this particular discovery won a Nobel prize). I wrote a published paper myself on a technique used in situations very similar to yours. I've analysed your photo and decided I'd like to help you as I don't think it will pass on its own. I advise in your case to purchase a 1kg glass jar of 100% organic certified coconut oil and use an enema kit to deposit the entire contents directly into your rectum, then use a stainless steel spoon to hold it all in. Use a teaspoon or tablespoon depending on the size of your sphincter. You'll have to push quite hard against your Anus for 45minutes as peristalsis will begin almost immediately. Just before you expel the contents and experience the Heavenly relief, give your butthole a little loving rub with the back of the spoon. This last part is THE SECRET to curing yourself of your distasteful mucus problem.
You may experience a little weight gain but it's a small price to pay if you want to continue plugging that stuff up your ass, don't you think?
Good luck.

Penis Skin tone

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- Thu, 06 Jul 2017 18:33:33 EST EId63CDm No.55046
File: 1499380413842.jpg -(21291B / 20.79KB, 424x410) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Penis Skin tone
I need to know if there's a way to bright up my penis skin tone.
please help me guys..
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Augustus Turveywill - Wed, 12 Jul 2017 11:08:10 EST c7sCQ0xT No.55050 Reply
Well they can bleach assholes so I guess they can bleach dicks.

Why do you need your dick lightened?
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Ernest Brillerman - Fri, 21 Jul 2017 04:00:17 EST W9WjeTfi No.55056 Reply
are you the man with the shiny purple dick from the other thread
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Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 13:52:44 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55611 Reply
>>55046
I got you on this one! Ive heard you can accomplish this by massaging organic coconut oil into your butthole in a circular motion. This sounds like a joke but I'm serious - the colour will start to brighten within minutes. Lots of people in England are doing this to lighten the skintone on their penises (men) or vulvulas (women). Take the oil and a high chrome teaspoon (you can purchase ribbed ones from a pharmacy for extra pleasure) and rub 50ml, or 75ml for sunshine level radiant skin, into your Anus hourly for at least a couple of days. Use the back of the spoon!
Good luck!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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- Sat, 08 Jul 2017 01:12:41 EST XzzvXafl No.55047
File: 1499490761029.jpg -(73450B / 71.73KB, 720x540) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How do I stop my tinnitus? I hear it all day and it keeps me up every night. I have a fan going and I play wave videos on youtube but it's still shite. I know lots of other people deal with it too.
Also if I press my cheekbone in or clench my jaw really hard it gets louder and higher pitched, why is this?
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Hugh Drannerdine - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 03:02:08 EST SJQsVVpF No.55119 Reply
>>55118
As far as I know, tinnitus is provoked by the physical destruction of the hair cells inside your ear.
I'm not saying it's impossible, but I wonder how drugs could produce a similar effect.
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Hannah Pibberstock - Tue, 16 Oct 2018 19:04:59 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55589 Reply
>>55047
Fuck. I was unaware of mine until I read this post, now i notice it!
Could yours be a side effect of medication?
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Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 13:33:12 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55610 Reply
>>55047
I have the same problem. I have what I call pulsatile tinnitus, sounds like a whooshing kind of turbulent noise but only on the right hand side. It's my heartbeat I can hear, quite loud right now. I can stop the whooshing noise if I put my finger against the artery, but it makes you feel funny in your head after 10 seconds or so. I also experience blood in my vision some mornings when I wake up, my right eye, it takes a few days to be reabsorbed, not sure if it is connected. My head feels kind of full all the time, I feel nauseous and my vision is very affected, sometimes see auras (flashing or geometrical patterns) and can't read (or text or drive or answer the fone) for an hour or so because they occur exactly where I'm looking. It's like going temporarily blind. Is much worse when I bend over or push when having a poo.

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