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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

Weird red bump

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- Thu, 28 Sep 2017 12:07:50 EST 48l3Q2JZ No.55116
File: 1506614870767.png -(103700B / 101.27KB, 310x314) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Weird red bump
A few days ago I noticed I had this weird red bump on my cheek to the left of my nose. It doesn't hurt or anything, but it hasn't gone away. It doesn't appear to be a zit so I dunno. Is this something serious?
Jenny Blythedale - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 01:21:40 EST gA0Ln1Xg No.55117 Reply
it could possibly be the early stage of a sarcoma/carcinoma, but it could also just be an unusual pimple, a result of acne, psoriasis, a burn (were you blackout drunk recently?), an allergic reaction, or just sensitive skin with no discernible cause. if you smoke or drink, try to reduce that. otherwise, just observe it. if it grows in size or changes shape/color/texture, see a doctor about it. if you are a fancy nobleman then see an oncologist, or at least dermatologist.
Nicholas Geckledat - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 14:04:27 EST 48l3Q2JZ No.55122 Reply
It appears to be shrinking both in area and bumpiness, but also getting darker red.
Cedric Gozzlechedging - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 18:36:11 EST opFniQnJ No.55635 Reply
1540161371187.jpg -(238556B / 232.96KB, 800x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
That's a rather extreme nodule you have there. I have my suspicions. Is the nodule deep down and palpable? And are you by chance a Roma gypsy? I have worked extensively with these people in their communities in Europe from 2012 - 2014 and noticed this same ugly skin ailment in vast swathes of that population and am wondering if there is correlation? The Roma community remedy is 4x stainless steel tablespoons of 100% coconut oil every 4 minutes for an hour (60tbls total) , followed by a 750g jar of 100% coconut oil enema administered immediately afterwards by a close female relative. A male relative gently holds apart the buttocks. This treatment is then repeated nightly for 7x nights using different relatives each night until the whole family has participated. I am lucky enough to have seen this treatment applied to an adult Roma male for myself, and I'm pleased to say it had wonderful results on this unsightly and frankly repellant affliction. I'm now involved (2017-) in medical trials using the Roma remedy for intermittent hiccoughs and lady troubles like PMS and Borderline Personality Disorder.
Research into social root-causes of poor facial skin health within segregated Roma communities in Central and Eastern Europe has been done extensively i.e. research into how, why and by whom these repulsive facial deformation-endangering settings and exposures are maintained and remedied. The aim of the study was to assess the local setup of how such astonishingly poor personal cleanliness leading to unsightly skin conditions in everyday settings and practices over the long-term in one such community. Early indicators show poor personal hygiene causing transference of microbial fecal matter from the hands onto the face (wash your hands after evacuation of the rectum young man! ) It is the initial part of a larger longitudinal study qualitatively exploring the social root-causes of the poor Roma skin health status through the case of a particular settlement in Slovakia with the same hideous malformation that you present. Please, don't be selfish - think of the mental health status of those who may accidentally see your ghastly affliction and aquire ptsd from the frightful exposure to you. No one wants to look at you or see that thing. I advise you to follow the oral and anal 100% coconut oil remedy of these Roma people for everyone's benefit.
On the bright side, you're all good for Hallowe'en.
Good luck.

How did you practice giving enemas?

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- Sun, 21 Oct 2018 15:56:54 EST opFniQnJ No.55634
File: 1540151814187.jpg -(60249B / 58.84KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How did you practice giving enemas?
/med/, I've been thinking that I'd really like to become a professional enema administrator. There's something attractive about being able to relieve people of their rectal discomfort when they have no one else to turn to. Being paid cash money for my services is a bonus. My speciality would be using 100% pure organic coconut oil in my enemas. How would one go about this? I'm thinking about purchasing a fake butt trainer to practice on. Will I be able to just advertise my services once proficient, or do I need qualifications?

Painful blackheads?

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- Sat, 19 May 2018 03:01:54 EST lroUEZ+a No.55414
File: 1526713314917.jpg -(1884254B / 1.80MB, 4160x3120) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Painful blackheads?
Can anyone explain what's going on?
I'm getting what seem to be blackheads all over my body, especially my arms, inner thighs, and feet.
Like sporadically I will feel as though I've stepped on some glass/a splinter but it's actually just a blackhead spontaneously pushing through my pore...
What is this shit?
I've recently started using meth which would most definitely be the main contributor/factor..
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Matilda Worthingville - Fri, 15 Jun 2018 05:50:22 EST LbJztlSR No.55433 Reply
Yea, if you didn't have those pitted looking deals along with the black dots then it is really a bad situation.
Regardless, the blackhead things and pain should reverse if you quit. Possibly it could be doing severe damage to your internal organs in the same fashion as well.

This glass stuff all likely comes from mexico, mass produced in a crude incorrect fashion. And not brought here not because of lack of fencing or a wall either. Deregulation of the trucking industry from Mexico.

Forget about the Vicodin epidemic. Opiates are tame in comparison to this glass that has overtkes the speed market. Just quit the stuff for a few months at least. Reevaluate your future, your past. Your family,
real friends.
Henry Noblingville - Fri, 22 Jun 2018 07:34:00 EST 0J48kcgn No.55450 Reply
No need to start an addiction to something soo crude. This is something new though. People would break out from commercial grade illicit speed. Like acne after using it for a few days. But i don't know about this.
I am imagine this is the clear looking sparkly glass stuff. Cheap research chemical? Never seen this until somewhat recently with people. Same characteristic. Blackheads that are not beachheads. That push through the skin and not sure about person but leaves indentations where the 'blackheds' had emerged.

Difficult but in the name of medicine and science save some of the dope, and be a test research subject
for medicine, like bood work etc. to explain how it is possible to have what seems to be blackheads suddenly show up and expel through the skin in such a rapid and crude fashion. I you decide to keep doing this suff.

Other wise, save some and send or bring it to the department of health or whatever entity. Concern about getting charged with a crime? Don't know. There are private companies that one can send drugs to to be tested. Maybe submit a urine sample, dope sample and analyzed with a mass spectrometer, it's expensive but I imagine some entity would pay for it. .gov .edu med etc.

Yea, amphetamines just do not do this. May rot peoples teeth out, make them seem monster like in appearance, but never seen the in the past.
Wesley Cricklelock - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 05:19:11 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55633 Reply
1540113551688.jpg -(96652B / 94.39KB, 500x594) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Ugh. I rarely see patients at my practice as badly in need of some foot car as you young man, followed by a 100% pure Virginiaia coconut oil enema to thoroughly detoxify oneself!
Begin by soaking those rancid things in hot water, until the skin absorbs enough that it becomes wrinkly and white. Make sure to add 10x tablespoons of the naturally antifungal and antiseptic coconut oil to the foot bath. This may take upwards of 30 minutes to an hour. Next, take a large serrated blade (for safety) and scrape to remove as much of that ghastly yellow skin as possible. The effect can be greatly enhanced by staring at the moon out of the bathroom window. Be firm with your scrapes and those bloody awful blackheads should come away easily. You can use a pumice stone if you wish. Try to have those things sockless and exposed to the air as much as possible in future. Finally, a 1kg jar, coconut oil enema should be administered by a gaunt but kind lady friend to rid you of deadly built-up toxins. You can hold your own buttocks apart if you wish. Your Anus should be slick and dribbling oil after an hour. Instruct her to give the Anus a pleasant little rub with the back of a metallic spoon immediately before you evacuate the oil. She's aiming for gentle circular motions around the sphincter. 5 minutes of this should suffice. I don't understand why, but many patients omit this final erotic part of the procedure. In my expert medical opinion it's THE SECRET to the above working!
Boy did you need it.
Good luck.

Little white letters under fingernail.

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- Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:20:43 EST 6eGfA3CN No.54030
File: 1461637243942.jpg -(152486B / 148.91KB, 879x1440) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Little white letters under fingernail.
I woke up today to find the letters o and y very clearly embedded behind my fingernail. How in the hell is that possible?
3 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Wesley Cricklelock - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 03:41:50 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55632 Reply
1540107710688.jpg -(44215B / 43.18KB, 728x546) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Could they be a message from God intended for you specifically? Do the letters mean anything to you? Once I woke up and noticed I had the letters COE, which I certainly didn't have previously, on a crease inside the crook of my left elbow. I thought it may have something to do with the Church Of England, but my girlfriend quickly pointed out we are atheists and it actually meant I needed her to administer a Coconut Oil Enema. So I let her fill me with 750ml of 100% pure oil that night, and we watched open mouthed in amazement the letters disappear and vanish together. It was a fantastic bonding moment for both of us in that bathroom - we now have seven healthy children. All boys. We look back and remember the Initial Experience as we call it, and she still requests to fill my rectum occasionally to keep the letters away.
Good luck.

Medical Questions

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- Sat, 15 Oct 2016 20:04:16 EST 9Wq27ZST No.54564
File: 1476576256133.jpg -(50960B / 49.77KB, 500x364) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Medical Questions
I have two. One: I drank a lot of bourbon yesterday, four or five glasses and one beer, and now, 24 hours later, I have stomach pain. I assume that the damage to my stomach has been done, and that I am feeling the effects of it. So, would it be pointless to take a proton pump inhibitor like nexium or an antacid? I am drinking lots of water, which has helped significantly with the pain.

My second question is a little harder: for the last 10 days, I have woken up with severe wheezing, which I can mostly remediate with an albuterol inhaler (but it comes back when I nap or sleep). It started when I snorted 14 bags of heroin over the course of five days and has not subsided. I have never had wheezing before this. I have cut down on weed smoke considerably, but it has not improved. My doctor prescribed albuterol, allegra, flonase, and a chest x-ray to see if it is a walking pneumonia. I seek general advice.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 16:59:04 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55616 Reply
1539809944432.jpg -(42981B / 41.97KB, 650x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1.I reccomended something the English have known about since 451 BC - it's the power of fresh coconut oil orally at bedtime, taken with a solid silver spoon. 4x silver teaspoons of organic oil, each night for 14 nights while looking at the moon, then reduce to 2x silver teaspoons for 7 nights while looking at the moon with an oiled finger plugging in your Anus. This will cease your stomach discomfort. This works for anyone experiencing distress and anguish at the throbbing pain of anal fissures and furuncules. Note: Stainless steel teaspoons mustn't be used as will not help in your particular case. No proton pump inhibitor required here either, though I can see the confusion.
2.my my. It's 2.5kg of creamy virgin coconut oil anally every day for 14 days (it's a day for every bag of smack inhaled as a general rule) for the cessation of symptoms you describe, via enema. Infact this is a good all round treatment for any wheezing, no matter the cause. A mistress should help with the application, rubbing around the sphincter gently and erotically with a stainless steel spoon.
Good luck!
Derluft - Mon, 29 Oct 2018 11:42:20 EST BiMbnKbv No.55649 Reply
OR he could just use a fucking micron filter.

lmao I infer you mean to think ethanol is safer for your body than cut H.



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- Wed, 17 Oct 2018 22:30:22 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55620
File: 1539829822718.png -(468322B / 457.35KB, 1200x628) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. COCONUT OIL CURES
I'm researching for a new book, and would like to hear about the rare and unusual real life medical issues you've experienced and managed to cure with the 100% pure coconut oil Anal method from England. Any kind of anal applications welcome - including enemas, Qtips, silver spoons, perhaps a gloved finger? All stories replied to, welcome and credited in my book!
Nicholas Bollerwan - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 18:48:40 EST 2BfIgwl7 No.55630 Reply
Coconut oil heals my face eczema faster than anything else I've tried

I loth a toof

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- Wed, 24 May 2017 06:36:07 EST ozE5OiPI No.54968
File: 1495622167540.gif -(1398676B / 1.33MB, 256x196) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I loth a toof
So my two lower central teeth were loose as fuck and one just fell out, the other one any time now. I've tried googling it phrased in different ways but all I get back are answers for broken/knocked-out/baby teeth and I can't figure out what to do for self-treating, like is it absolutely imperative to seal it up or will it close up on its own? What are home treatments are there for what is now where the tooth used to be? What did our ancestors do about this? It's not bleeding or anything, not really any noticable sensation either besides feeling my tongue in where the tooth used to be. I did glean something about saltwater gargling so I am gonna start doing that as a routine, but what else should I do or know? Also, how long​ do I have before that weird jaw shrinking thing I read about once before starts to happen? Would me being a bit of a jawclencher happen to help with slowing that down?
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Magder - Thu, 14 Dec 2017 10:20:56 EST rp+qv/HU No.55201 Reply
You may need a dental dam of sorts. Also, implants in the future for the lost tooth.
William Dablingstot - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 11:44:53 EST pbyt1l81 No.55202 Reply
what caused your teeth to fall out?
Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 12:47:39 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55629 Reply
1540054059153.jpg -(358015B / 349.62KB, 736x946) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Who needs a dentist when you can grow new ones using relatively inexpensive 100% virgin coconut oil? Dentists are understandably trying their hardest to suppress knowledge of this technique, but I'm going to share the little known secret with you here! I must be clear that I only recommend this procedure when ones nasal passages are entirely clear. You are going to have your mouth closed for a considerable amount of time and will be at risk of oxygen deprivation if nasal passages are blocked. Please do no attempt the following if you have so much as a sniffle!
So, normal dosage is 3x tablespoons coconut oil orally, but crucially DO NOT Swallow as it is not meant to be digested - just pleasantly swish with air in your cheeks, and manoeuvre around with your tongue for about an hour. Many clinical studies (including groundbreaking experimental laboratory research using guinea pigs fitted with tiny chinstraps) on human research subjects are continuing to conclusively prove the truth - that the miraculous properties of the coconut oil actually reprogram your DNA to create brand new teeth!
Don't be shocked to find you regrow baby teeth first (which will eventually fall out of their own accord, as when you were young) but our aim are the beautiful white adult teeth that will replace them. It's truly a second chance for people professionally diagnosed with toothbrushophobia, or people who've been enjoying entire cakes and kilos of cinder toffee eaten periodically throughout the day for years, and even the English.
This technique was actually perfected by Aborigines who harvested their fresh yellow (they were believed to be optimal between the green and brown stages) coconuts by boat in the Great Australian Coconut Plains of the Great Barrier Reef using boomerangs. The coconuts would be pressed by the women of the Tribe with their bare feet in the boats as the men paddled.
Each member would use the same oil. The Tribe leader would be the first to use the oil, which he did for approximately an hour, then he'd spit the oil back into the empty shell of a coconut and pass it on for each tribe member to swish in turn. Women and children would be the last to consume, and by this time the oil would sometimes resemble soup. When all members were finished, the precious used oil would not be wasted as it contained the high calories needed for survival in such harsh conditions. It would finally be recycled and consumed in traditional culinary dishes. Witchity grubs and bark sautéed in the oil over fire and served hot were a favourite aborigine appetiser.
But i'm going off topic.
I think you'll find the technique works especially well combined with a little love tap on the Anus with a stainless steel spoon. This is a personal preference I find rather comforting after such an experience, but I ask you to at least try it once. One must use a stainless steel teaspoon of oil smeared around the Anus if under 5ft 6in tall, and a larger tablespoon if over this height. Push gently as if to defecate, and rub in gentle circles with the rear of the spoon for comfort.
Finally, I believe one must mimic the Aborigines method as closely as possible for maximum results. Passing the oil on to your remaining family members in turn is encouraged, and incredibly respectful.
Even tenants and lodgers - anyone who lives in the same building - can benefit.
May you and your family enjoy a lifetime of using your new grown teeth.
Good luck.

had it for over five years.

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- Wed, 13 Sep 2017 21:37:25 EST FLXOM1mO No.55090
File: 1505353045981.jpg -(4101055B / 3.91MB, 5152x2896) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. had it for over five years.
what is this thing on my hand?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nell Smallstock - Tue, 19 Sep 2017 23:42:05 EST gA0Ln1Xg No.55101 Reply
yeah cut that bitch open. use fire/alcohol/peroxide to sanitize the procedure. looks like a nasty wart. prob has roots goin down into the flesh. either need surgery or ghetto surgery.
Phyllis Gemmerworth - Sat, 23 Sep 2017 12:31:04 EST 3giE7+cL No.55107 Reply
if its a wart you can oxygen starve it until it shrinks a bit, if oxygen starving doesn't shrink it it probably isn't a wart. coats of nail polish will help oxygen starve it.

Whatever it is don't cut it open. You have lots of options, file it down, burn it off with mild acid.. don't cut it open.. there are lots of home remedy's for warts and if it isn't one of them i think you should go to a doctor
Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 09:42:46 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55628 Reply
1540042966153.png -(580515B / 566.91KB, 635x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I reccomend a 100% organic coconut oil enema asap.
On a nice quiet night, hang an enema bag over the bathroom door and gradually fill your rectum with 3kg certified organic coconut oil and cork yourself with a buttplug for 45 minutes. This has to be performed in the evening because one of the essential requirements for the success of this technique is that you gaze at the moon solemnly. This is the trigger for the oil to start to be absorbed by your body and into your bloodstream immediately. The healing properties will then begin actively search for abnormalities you didn't have at birth and combat them. The oil will get right to work on that big brown thing. It's good news from here - the healing remedy contained in the oil will completely destroy that unsightly BBT - infact anything visible on the surface of your body, including erasing bad tattoos. This effect also happens internally, for example dissolving any tumours you didn't even know you had yet! It's a natural, genuine miracle given to us by God. Treatment is 1x enema nocte, for 3x nights. You may experience considerable weight gain due to the high saturated fat content, but in my opinion it's a small price to pay to get rid of that marble you are holding.
Good luck.

Please help me oh god

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- Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:49:35 EST 2HKiQJ7X No.54284
File: 1468442975638.jpg -(114491B / 111.81KB, 628x417) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Please help me oh god
Whenever I wipe my butt there is normally blood on the toilet paper. This has been going on for years.

I think most of the time I wipe too hard, and sometimes very rarely like today, the blood is bright red, and there is a lot of it.

Sometimes my butt itches and it is unbearable, so that's why I wipe so hard. I don't think it's parasites or anything.

I think the problem is the itching, that makes me wipe too hard and causes the bleeding.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Martha Cettingspear - Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:55:27 EST cbjyU/lT No.54326 Reply
1469206527860.jpg -(73716B / 71.99KB, 600x337) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
A high-fiber diet can help ease bowel movements but does not necassarily cure the hemorrhoids. Also, watch the movie Wetlands.
Basil Blopperwill - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 22:24:04 EST AXN7JBRm No.54367 Reply
Hemorrhoids, my man. Welcome to the club.

If you don't drink enough water, take lots of opiates/kratom, or eat on a regular cycle everyday, well... That'll do it.

My good friend and I both have had them regularly over the last year or two. My friend says he bleeds every time he poops, period. I used to 4/5 times but then I started experimenting. I had been taking kratom along with my RX of paxil, both of which can cause constipation, and hadn't been drinking enough water. As soon as I started eating an extra apple/banana/peach/mango/carrot/salad and drinking at least two liters of water a day, they've stopped. At least, I don't bleed. I still get the 'roids once or thrice a month but even then I don't usually bleed.

Some people were built with inferior buttholes, man. Don't sweat it. I freaked out too when it started. Just experiment with your daily habits and water/food intake. Also, soak your shitter in some cool water, use roid cream, squat to shit instead of sitting, and don't strain so hard. I've had really big, hard turds lodged up in there ( that would have 110% ripped open my backdoor) and used a small, smooth object with lube to break it apart gently to save on the tablespoon of blood. Awkward but efficient.
Fuck Hunkinwick - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 20:35:44 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55626 Reply
1539995744153.jpg -(28002B / 27.35KB, 450x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
If one's faeces gets too dry and knobbly and one experiences the sensation of being too full, or of it being 'stuck' (and if it becomes painful when you push) one is suffering from what people with a MD call haemorrhoids. The bulging veins that protrude internally and externally can be called 'piles' by people who cannot pronounce the word. One may apply the oil directly. The remedy is to use 100% pure coconut oil to soften up the stool and lubricate both the dry log and the interior rectum for slippery ghost-like elimination.
Coconut oil is a great tasting oil and inexpensive natural product to booty! The oil taken orally has a wonderful laxative effect, is quite palatable and doesn't cause the intestinal pain (pwristalsis) like other laxatives. Usual dosage is half a ladle in the morning before breakfast, another half ladle before food on an eve.
Proponents claim that coconut oil increases metabolism, helping women to lose weight. It aids ones body in breaking things down faster and helps things pass more quickly down the upper and lower pipes. This translates to smaller and more frequent stools. It is also a colon cleansing powerhouse.
The medium can quickly soften hard faeces and prevent the dangerous tearing or hemorrhaging when administered with a solid silver spoon around the Anus.
If one is not careful a heart-attacks can strike. The odds of this happensing increase exponentially the more one forces oneself to eliminate, straining too hard. This famously happened to Elvis, who had been extremely bunged up.
One fantastic method of relieving oneself is an enema, letting the oil work its magic for 20mins. A 1kg jar of coconut oil will suffice, one should remember to smear a little extra around the Anus with the back of a solid silver spoon (not stainless steel when dealing with haemorrhoids and fissures!) A gentle pat should then be given to the Anus to let it know it has pleased one. This curious ritual of patting the anus was invented in England when King Henry VIII was on the throne. King Henry would sit on his specially made wooden 'rectal oiling chair' where he would lower his robes, bend over exposing himself appropriately, and have a beautiful young maid apply the oil with her bare hands directly. It is thought he suffered from severe piles throughout his adult life, and took it out on his eight wives whom he would behead when they gave him shit about the maid.
The King's elm wood chair has been decontaminated and one may still view the chair, as it sits in a museum in Wales.
Good luck.

intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI

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- Mon, 01 Aug 2016 19:52:16 EST M82kuhz8 No.54364
File: 1470095536743.jpg -(437497B / 427.24KB, 2254x2056) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI
i was trying to get a cervical MRI earlier today but was unable to complete it. during the scans, my abdomen and intestines would pulse and twitch as if they were getting an electrical shock. the feelings eventually became so intense that i had to clench my entire body just to keep still, but i couldn't keep this up for 20 minutes. my intestines also feel screwed up and are making all kinds of funky noises after the mri. anyone know whats wrong?
Matilda Muttingwater - Fri, 05 Aug 2016 00:10:40 EST 8rTptFiJ No.54371 Reply
magnetic resonance imaging uses heavy-fucking-duty magnets to take pictures of your insides, probably something magnetic ~ mettalic in your guts.
stuff sometimes gets trapped in the appendix, maybe that's it.
maybe try drinking milk of magnesia to clear things out.
Angus Goodridge - Wed, 10 Aug 2016 22:00:23 EST z4Nfqeju No.54381 Reply
not sure, maybe you should get an mri of your abdomen to see whats wrong
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:56:33 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55625 Reply
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Lose something recently ?!...
The stainless steel teaspoon from your 'oil and spoon' kit is missing up your ass somewhere! Duh.
In these dire circumstances, you desperately need a 2.5kg glass jar (the cheap plastic jars leak manufacturing chemicals) of 100% pure organico coconut oil, an enema kit, some duct tape, a magnet, and another stainless steel teaspoon to sort this out.
Apply the entire 2.5kg jar coconut oil via enema. Give your Anus a tap and a brief massage with the back of the spoon - it's comfiest with a hand on your stomach and a foot up by the window. Then take the new stainless steel teaspoon, attach the Magnet with the duct tape to it and insert it into your rectum. It should slip past your oily sphincter into your rectum with ease. Fish around gently until you hear a metallic clank, and withdraw gently... Everything should come back out together, plus the missing teaspoon. Voila. You've removed the original spoon and saved yourself an expensive and highly embarrassing conversation and procedure at the hospital. If you used a shifty toy magnet, the original teaspoon plus new teaspoon, plus the magnet AND some duct tape is now stuck up your ass, suspended in 2.5kg coconut oil.
Boy you've a lot of explaining to do in the ER.
You're welcome.
Good luck.

promoting benin expansion

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- Mon, 15 Aug 2016 04:50:09 EST zgqyrGtr No.54391
File: 1471251009013.jpg -(775702B / 757.52KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. promoting benin expansion
Hey, I hear there are safe, sexuologist approved, ways to jelk? How about doctors?

Also, if I see that erection size decreases over many years, what actions, besides diet and physical activity to improve the cardio-vascular system, do I take? Some medical massagers, specific exercizes?
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:04:45 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55624 Reply
1539983085854.jpg -(13019B / 12.71KB, 550x413) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Jelking (or jelqing) is a pleasureable shaft-stroking penis exercise that lovingly trains your micropenis with the goal of increasing size. Psychological studies have shown that many men who cannot cope with their tiny penis size are malignant narcissists, primary psychopaths or even European.
Jelqing involves applying maximum pressure and torquing the micropenis in a milking-like twisty motion to cause the 'organ' to grow a few millimetres in both length and girth, making a huge difference. Jelqing is typically done with 100% Virginiaia coconut oil to make it easier and more effective. Your pharmacist can sell you a special Jelking spoon and coconut oil kit, if you are a big man brave enough to enquire.
So how to Jelq? Well, you'll need a 5kg jar of coconut oil, a stainless steel teaspoon, five fingers and a tiny penis. Begin by lubricating your tiny penis with a stainless steel teaspoonful of the coconut oil. It's tempting to immediately insert the teaspoon anally at this stage but DO NOT! Instead, use willpower to form an OK-sign-like grip with your index finger and thumb, around the base of your tiny penis. With pressure applied, very very slowly slide your fingers up the shaft of the tiny penis over the course of 2 seconds. Stop and release your fingers when you reach the glans. Tap your Anus gently with the teaspoon, like to tap a boiled egg, and lovingly rub the sphincter in a clockwise rubbing motion if you are right-handed, and anticlockwise if a lefty. NOW insert handle of spoon deep into rectum and slowly withdraw. This last part is the secret to the success of the entire technique and must not be omitted under any circumstances. Plus the micropenis will throw a wobbly and refuse to gain size.
Dry jelqing (which is jelqing without a teaspoon of coconut oil) is highly discouraged. Why? Well, you don't get an even, clean sliding motion on your tiny penis, and could even cause yourself cardiac myopia thy or hyperpituitarism.
For most guys with a micropenis, as they enjoy their jelqing session they will naturally get a harder and harder erection. That's not surprising - jelqing actually feels amazing. Maintaining a 70-80% erection level is slightly challenging because it requires you pay attention to your body.
Also, never jelq with a 100% full erection as it reduces any gains you've made. A word of warning: Ejaculation at ANY time (night or day) during treatment will result in the micropenis throwing its metaphorical hands in the air and giving up, disappearing for good. You may as well get breast implants and become a woman at this point. Treatment consists of using exactly 9.85x teaspoons of coconut oil per night, 3x anal spoon massages and 0 ejaculation.
Continue jelking nightly until the 5kg jar is finished, or until your Anus has been completely eroded.
Photo illustrates the phenomenon of micropenis.
Good luck.

is it likely i have add

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- Thu, 18 Oct 2018 10:30:10 EST 2gPg0wkX No.55622
File: 1539873010007.jpg -(62291B / 60.83KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. is it likely i have add
//sorry if this is wrong board, i feel like it more concerns my health than stims themselves

Stimulants are my drug of choice for a multitude of reasons, but not because they make me really energetic. In fact, stims tend to have the opposite effect on me - I feel calm and focused, and will usually just feel like laying down and talking with those around me rather than do anything usually associated with uppers.

Is it possible I have ADD? I'm 18f and have always done fairly well in school but have never done any work in class or at home, just an hour or two of cramming the night before a test. Usually if I try to actively study I just end up staring at my wall without meaning to.

Seeing as stimulants calm me down and help me focus on singular tasks or thoughts, it occurred to me that I might just be unintentionally medicating undiagnosed ADD. Thoughts?
George Blatherfield - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 03:27:42 EST k6OPhw89 No.55623 Reply
I guess, are these prescribed? Some types of amphetamine are more-so like you describe. Illicit or otherwise.

I think most have a hard time focusing on things sometimes. Or a lot. I never liked paperwork, reading instructions, etc but amphetamine can make things that were boring, uninteresting, suddenly interesting.

So it's difficult to say.

ADD or not, surely drugs that are used to help focus, do work.

Relying on them, eh like getting a script, if that is what you are kinda wondering, I really wouldn't bother. A script, use it for however long, months years, most actually regret it. As they may be back at square one, or even further behind in coping with things than when they started ADD drugs.

But, some amphetamine can make one focus, think clearly 'as prescribed' and not be like bouncing all oveer the place without direction. So in all, surely you may have some sort of issues that keep you from focusing, similar to ADD.

I barely turned in 2nd grade homework, when I found I still got a passing grade without turning it in. Lack of focus. Oversight.
But in school most things were easy? SO that was my free pass. Do good in school, and not good on my own time.
Graham Paddledire - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 13:30:59 EST seInJVW2 No.55639 Reply
inb4 coconut oil spammer

I have a cold...

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- Sat, 15 Oct 2016 11:09:51 EST OMRfG0ie No.54563
File: 1476544191165.jpg -(20276B / 19.80KB, 295x190) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I have a cold...
And I've woken up with really bad eye mucus for the second morning in a row. I have to blindly navigate my way to the bathroom, grab a washcloth, wet it with warm water, and wipe my eyes a hundred times just to be able to see. And even then, I still won't get it all.

Why?! This hasn't happened to me during a cold/flu for 10+ years and the person that I think got me sick isn't dealing with this bullshit. Why is this cold different? And how do I prevent/treat it?
Ian Shittingdale - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 21:57:17 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55619 Reply
1539827837718.jpg -(220181B / 215.02KB, 1600x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
It's a little late for prevention if you're waking up blind.
It sounds like you have an irritated conjunctivava. The 'eye mucus' you are complaining about is dead bacteria cells and blood by-products. Do not contaminate your other eye with the infected gunk that is coming out of your other one. Luckily for you I know a 24hr cure. It involves dabbing coconut oil every 24mins for 24hrs onto your Anus with a cotton bud. You can purchase a kit, or may have the two items to hand already. Before we go any further, let’s go over some coconut oil biochemistry basics. Triglycerides (dietary fats) are made up of a glycerol backbone + 3 fatty acids. It’s the chemical structure of the majority of fatty acids (i.e., the number of double bonds, if any) in the triglyceride that dictates the classifications that humans created for them. This means applying coconut oil via a cotton tip to the Anus will cure your ailment quickly (even though it seems like an eye problem).
Thanks goodness the problem is not penis gunk each morning. Imagine washing that a hundred times!
Good luck.
Rebecca Nebblestig - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 00:47:57 EST WCBFA8xj No.55621 Reply
Maybe late but a good time to wash your bedding. Including comforters. I like to wear clother a second day, whatever. Wash dirty clothes. Vacuum your floors.
Maybe cover couch you use for a few days. I think dust kinda has something to do with this. Maybe dust some, keeping it from your eyes.

Not sure if a virus causes this, but if you use visiene make very sure not to touch your eyes with tip of applicator. Pharmacists, if you call them they usually will be happy to take a moment to explain things.

GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?

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- Sun, 17 Dec 2017 12:07:07 EST xqN5w2gn No.55203
File: 1513530427328.jpg -(87161B / 85.12KB, 500x707) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?
My girlfriend choked the ever-living daylights out of me about ten days ago (consentually) and we (stupidly) didn't look up how to do it safely beforehand, aaaaand I think she may have messed something up.

My neck has been sore for over a week, I have this wierd rushing sound in my left ear, and I just feel tired and dizzy frequently.

I'm hoping it's just a coincidence and I have a... IDK, an inner-ear infection or something. Or is it possible she damaged a major vein/artery? She wants me to see a doc but we're from a very small town that's hardcore religious and I'm not sure how I could explain this to a doctor without a) outing myself b) talking about sex c) the dr thinking I'm a battered woman d)shelling out for nothing

Ugh, help. Thanks
Graham Sigglebedge - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 22:43:07 EST 8yUHTDg0 No.55204 Reply
i didnt know this type of stuff went on in lesbian relationships. interesting
Jack Fummlewell - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 00:45:31 EST M36+aLLi No.55207 Reply
If you're REALLY worried then go to the doc. If you think she may have sprained the muscle in your neck, don't worry with it. I say this assuming you're in the USA where going to the doc costs a shit ton. If you're not, then go!
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 18:56:41 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55618 Reply
1539817001432.jpg -(194244B / 189.69KB, 1500x1500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I am a highly sexual lesbian in a highly sexual lesbian relationship, and also a highly certified expert in lesbian sexual relationships. My highly sexual, expert, lesbian sexual relationship advice for both of you highly sexual lesbians in a certified, highly sexual lesbian relationship together, is this - First i recommend your partner and yourself purchase a 1000ml 'spoon and oil' kit each from a pharmacy or bring the ingredients together like yourselves. Both slowly get comfortable and naked together, make out and undress eachother slowly while kissing and making small sharp inhalations into one another's ears, flick your tongues and proceed to work up to administering an Organic 100% virgirginia coconut oil enema on eachother. This will soothe the injury consentually inflicted from the naughty bdsm sex you both participated in recently, and will also be quite light fun in the bedroom for a change for the both of you. I suspect you may be tempted to introduce your wrist and ankle restraints for that feeling of exquisite helplessness as you take turns to be fully anally filled, and this is quite alright by me. Remember to bring a teaspoon with you into the bedroom. Preferably a solid silver spoon, as frankly a stainless steel one is just not good enough for the both of you delightful little minxes. Playfully take turns gently massaging eachother over your lacy panties, insert your fingers into one another's mouths, kiss deeply and work up to gently massaging eachother anally with the coconut oil on your curling fingers. Moan and push the silver spoon into eachother. Deeply, in and out, in and out at a slow pace, your favourite position I'm sure. Then take the silver spoon when you are both completely full, and firmly rub the back of the spoon in circular motions clockwise then anticlockwise around the sphincter muscle and squirm for eachother. You're both highly worked up. Look into each others eyes - it is normal for your breathing to begin to quicken even further. Notice the dilation of your partners pupils. You've both taken the full 1000ml of the oil and know tomorrow you will be refreshed and content.
Push a finger up your own bum, and run to the bathroom quickly.

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