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Medical Questions

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- Sat, 15 Oct 2016 20:04:16 EST 9Wq27ZST No.54564
File: 1476576256133.jpg -(50960B / 49.77KB, 500x364) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Medical Questions
I have two. One: I drank a lot of bourbon yesterday, four or five glasses and one beer, and now, 24 hours later, I have stomach pain. I assume that the damage to my stomach has been done, and that I am feeling the effects of it. So, would it be pointless to take a proton pump inhibitor like nexium or an antacid? I am drinking lots of water, which has helped significantly with the pain.

My second question is a little harder: for the last 10 days, I have woken up with severe wheezing, which I can mostly remediate with an albuterol inhaler (but it comes back when I nap or sleep). It started when I snorted 14 bags of heroin over the course of five days and has not subsided. I have never had wheezing before this. I have cut down on weed smoke considerably, but it has not improved. My doctor prescribed albuterol, allegra, flonase, and a chest x-ray to see if it is a walking pneumonia. I seek general advice.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 16:59:04 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55616 Reply
1539809944432.jpg -(42981B / 41.97KB, 650x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1.I reccomended something the English have known about since 451 BC - it's the power of fresh coconut oil orally at bedtime, taken with a solid silver spoon. 4x silver teaspoons of organic oil, each night for 14 nights while looking at the moon, then reduce to 2x silver teaspoons for 7 nights while looking at the moon with an oiled finger plugging in your Anus. This will cease your stomach discomfort. This works for anyone experiencing distress and anguish at the throbbing pain of anal fissures and furuncules. Note: Stainless steel teaspoons mustn't be used as will not help in your particular case. No proton pump inhibitor required here either, though I can see the confusion.
2.my my. It's 2.5kg of creamy virgin coconut oil anally every day for 14 days (it's a day for every bag of smack inhaled as a general rule) for the cessation of symptoms you describe, via enema. Infact this is a good all round treatment for any wheezing, no matter the cause. A mistress should help with the application, rubbing around the sphincter gently and erotically with a stainless steel spoon.
Good luck!
Derluft - Mon, 29 Oct 2018 11:42:20 EST BiMbnKbv No.55649 Reply
OR he could just use a fucking micron filter.

lmao I infer you mean to think ethanol is safer for your body than cut H.



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- Wed, 17 Oct 2018 22:30:22 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55620
File: 1539829822718.png -(468322B / 457.35KB, 1200x628) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. COCONUT OIL CURES
I'm researching for a new book, and would like to hear about the rare and unusual real life medical issues you've experienced and managed to cure with the 100% pure coconut oil Anal method from England. Any kind of anal applications welcome - including enemas, Qtips, silver spoons, perhaps a gloved finger? All stories replied to, welcome and credited in my book!
Nicholas Bollerwan - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 18:48:40 EST 2BfIgwl7 No.55630 Reply
Coconut oil heals my face eczema faster than anything else I've tried

I loth a toof

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- Wed, 24 May 2017 06:36:07 EST ozE5OiPI No.54968
File: 1495622167540.gif -(1398676B / 1.33MB, 256x196) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I loth a toof
So my two lower central teeth were loose as fuck and one just fell out, the other one any time now. I've tried googling it phrased in different ways but all I get back are answers for broken/knocked-out/baby teeth and I can't figure out what to do for self-treating, like is it absolutely imperative to seal it up or will it close up on its own? What are home treatments are there for what is now where the tooth used to be? What did our ancestors do about this? It's not bleeding or anything, not really any noticable sensation either besides feeling my tongue in where the tooth used to be. I did glean something about saltwater gargling so I am gonna start doing that as a routine, but what else should I do or know? Also, how long​ do I have before that weird jaw shrinking thing I read about once before starts to happen? Would me being a bit of a jawclencher happen to help with slowing that down?
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Magder - Thu, 14 Dec 2017 10:20:56 EST rp+qv/HU No.55201 Reply
You may need a dental dam of sorts. Also, implants in the future for the lost tooth.
William Dablingstot - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 11:44:53 EST pbyt1l81 No.55202 Reply
what caused your teeth to fall out?
Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 12:47:39 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55629 Reply
1540054059153.jpg -(358015B / 349.62KB, 736x946) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Who needs a dentist when you can grow new ones using relatively inexpensive 100% virgin coconut oil? Dentists are understandably trying their hardest to suppress knowledge of this technique, but I'm going to share the little known secret with you here! I must be clear that I only recommend this procedure when ones nasal passages are entirely clear. You are going to have your mouth closed for a considerable amount of time and will be at risk of oxygen deprivation if nasal passages are blocked. Please do no attempt the following if you have so much as a sniffle!
So, normal dosage is 3x tablespoons coconut oil orally, but crucially DO NOT Swallow as it is not meant to be digested - just pleasantly swish with air in your cheeks, and manoeuvre around with your tongue for about an hour. Many clinical studies (including groundbreaking experimental laboratory research using guinea pigs fitted with tiny chinstraps) on human research subjects are continuing to conclusively prove the truth - that the miraculous properties of the coconut oil actually reprogram your DNA to create brand new teeth!
Don't be shocked to find you regrow baby teeth first (which will eventually fall out of their own accord, as when you were young) but our aim are the beautiful white adult teeth that will replace them. It's truly a second chance for people professionally diagnosed with toothbrushophobia, or people who've been enjoying entire cakes and kilos of cinder toffee eaten periodically throughout the day for years, and even the English.
This technique was actually perfected by Aborigines who harvested their fresh yellow (they were believed to be optimal between the green and brown stages) coconuts by boat in the Great Australian Coconut Plains of the Great Barrier Reef using boomerangs. The coconuts would be pressed by the women of the Tribe with their bare feet in the boats as the men paddled.
Each member would use the same oil. The Tribe leader would be the first to use the oil, which he did for approximately an hour, then he'd spit the oil back into the empty shell of a coconut and pass it on for each tribe member to swish in turn. Women and children would be the last to consume, and by this time the oil would sometimes resemble soup. When all members were finished, the precious used oil would not be wasted as it contained the high calories needed for survival in such harsh conditions. It would finally be recycled and consumed in traditional culinary dishes. Witchity grubs and bark sautéed in the oil over fire and served hot were a favourite aborigine appetiser.
But i'm going off topic.
I think you'll find the technique works especially well combined with a little love tap on the Anus with a stainless steel spoon. This is a personal preference I find rather comforting after such an experience, but I ask you to at least try it once. One must use a stainless steel teaspoon of oil smeared around the Anus if under 5ft 6in tall, and a larger tablespoon if over this height. Push gently as if to defecate, and rub in gentle circles with the rear of the spoon for comfort.
Finally, I believe one must mimic the Aborigines method as closely as possible for maximum results. Passing the oil on to your remaining family members in turn is encouraged, and incredibly respectful.
Even tenants and lodgers - anyone who lives in the same building - can benefit.
May you and your family enjoy a lifetime of using your new grown teeth.
Good luck.

had it for over five years.

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- Wed, 13 Sep 2017 21:37:25 EST FLXOM1mO No.55090
File: 1505353045981.jpg -(4101055B / 3.91MB, 5152x2896) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. had it for over five years.
what is this thing on my hand?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nell Smallstock - Tue, 19 Sep 2017 23:42:05 EST gA0Ln1Xg No.55101 Reply
yeah cut that bitch open. use fire/alcohol/peroxide to sanitize the procedure. looks like a nasty wart. prob has roots goin down into the flesh. either need surgery or ghetto surgery.
Phyllis Gemmerworth - Sat, 23 Sep 2017 12:31:04 EST 3giE7+cL No.55107 Reply
if its a wart you can oxygen starve it until it shrinks a bit, if oxygen starving doesn't shrink it it probably isn't a wart. coats of nail polish will help oxygen starve it.

Whatever it is don't cut it open. You have lots of options, file it down, burn it off with mild acid.. don't cut it open.. there are lots of home remedy's for warts and if it isn't one of them i think you should go to a doctor
Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 09:42:46 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55628 Reply
1540042966153.png -(580515B / 566.91KB, 635x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I reccomend a 100% organic coconut oil enema asap.
On a nice quiet night, hang an enema bag over the bathroom door and gradually fill your rectum with 3kg certified organic coconut oil and cork yourself with a buttplug for 45 minutes. This has to be performed in the evening because one of the essential requirements for the success of this technique is that you gaze at the moon solemnly. This is the trigger for the oil to start to be absorbed by your body and into your bloodstream immediately. The healing properties will then begin actively search for abnormalities you didn't have at birth and combat them. The oil will get right to work on that big brown thing. It's good news from here - the healing remedy contained in the oil will completely destroy that unsightly BBT - infact anything visible on the surface of your body, including erasing bad tattoos. This effect also happens internally, for example dissolving any tumours you didn't even know you had yet! It's a natural, genuine miracle given to us by God. Treatment is 1x enema nocte, for 3x nights. You may experience considerable weight gain due to the high saturated fat content, but in my opinion it's a small price to pay to get rid of that marble you are holding.
Good luck.

Please help me oh god

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- Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:49:35 EST 2HKiQJ7X No.54284
File: 1468442975638.jpg -(114491B / 111.81KB, 628x417) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Please help me oh god
Whenever I wipe my butt there is normally blood on the toilet paper. This has been going on for years.

I think most of the time I wipe too hard, and sometimes very rarely like today, the blood is bright red, and there is a lot of it.

Sometimes my butt itches and it is unbearable, so that's why I wipe so hard. I don't think it's parasites or anything.

I think the problem is the itching, that makes me wipe too hard and causes the bleeding.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Martha Cettingspear - Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:55:27 EST cbjyU/lT No.54326 Reply
1469206527860.jpg -(73716B / 71.99KB, 600x337) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
A high-fiber diet can help ease bowel movements but does not necassarily cure the hemorrhoids. Also, watch the movie Wetlands.
Basil Blopperwill - Wed, 03 Aug 2016 22:24:04 EST AXN7JBRm No.54367 Reply
Hemorrhoids, my man. Welcome to the club.

If you don't drink enough water, take lots of opiates/kratom, or eat on a regular cycle everyday, well... That'll do it.

My good friend and I both have had them regularly over the last year or two. My friend says he bleeds every time he poops, period. I used to 4/5 times but then I started experimenting. I had been taking kratom along with my RX of paxil, both of which can cause constipation, and hadn't been drinking enough water. As soon as I started eating an extra apple/banana/peach/mango/carrot/salad and drinking at least two liters of water a day, they've stopped. At least, I don't bleed. I still get the 'roids once or thrice a month but even then I don't usually bleed.

Some people were built with inferior buttholes, man. Don't sweat it. I freaked out too when it started. Just experiment with your daily habits and water/food intake. Also, soak your shitter in some cool water, use roid cream, squat to shit instead of sitting, and don't strain so hard. I've had really big, hard turds lodged up in there ( that would have 110% ripped open my backdoor) and used a small, smooth object with lube to break it apart gently to save on the tablespoon of blood. Awkward but efficient.
Fuck Hunkinwick - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 20:35:44 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55626 Reply
1539995744153.jpg -(28002B / 27.35KB, 450x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
If one's faeces gets too dry and knobbly and one experiences the sensation of being too full, or of it being 'stuck' (and if it becomes painful when you push) one is suffering from what people with a MD call haemorrhoids. The bulging veins that protrude internally and externally can be called 'piles' by people who cannot pronounce the word. One may apply the oil directly. The remedy is to use 100% pure coconut oil to soften up the stool and lubricate both the dry log and the interior rectum for slippery ghost-like elimination.
Coconut oil is a great tasting oil and inexpensive natural product to booty! The oil taken orally has a wonderful laxative effect, is quite palatable and doesn't cause the intestinal pain (pwristalsis) like other laxatives. Usual dosage is half a ladle in the morning before breakfast, another half ladle before food on an eve.
Proponents claim that coconut oil increases metabolism, helping women to lose weight. It aids ones body in breaking things down faster and helps things pass more quickly down the upper and lower pipes. This translates to smaller and more frequent stools. It is also a colon cleansing powerhouse.
The medium can quickly soften hard faeces and prevent the dangerous tearing or hemorrhaging when administered with a solid silver spoon around the Anus.
If one is not careful a heart-attacks can strike. The odds of this happensing increase exponentially the more one forces oneself to eliminate, straining too hard. This famously happened to Elvis, who had been extremely bunged up.
One fantastic method of relieving oneself is an enema, letting the oil work its magic for 20mins. A 1kg jar of coconut oil will suffice, one should remember to smear a little extra around the Anus with the back of a solid silver spoon (not stainless steel when dealing with haemorrhoids and fissures!) A gentle pat should then be given to the Anus to let it know it has pleased one. This curious ritual of patting the anus was invented in England when King Henry VIII was on the throne. King Henry would sit on his specially made wooden 'rectal oiling chair' where he would lower his robes, bend over exposing himself appropriately, and have a beautiful young maid apply the oil with her bare hands directly. It is thought he suffered from severe piles throughout his adult life, and took it out on his eight wives whom he would behead when they gave him shit about the maid.
The King's elm wood chair has been decontaminated and one may still view the chair, as it sits in a museum in Wales.
Good luck.

intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI

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- Mon, 01 Aug 2016 19:52:16 EST M82kuhz8 No.54364
File: 1470095536743.jpg -(437497B / 427.24KB, 2254x2056) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. intestinal/abdominal discomfort during a neck MRI
i was trying to get a cervical MRI earlier today but was unable to complete it. during the scans, my abdomen and intestines would pulse and twitch as if they were getting an electrical shock. the feelings eventually became so intense that i had to clench my entire body just to keep still, but i couldn't keep this up for 20 minutes. my intestines also feel screwed up and are making all kinds of funky noises after the mri. anyone know whats wrong?
Matilda Muttingwater - Fri, 05 Aug 2016 00:10:40 EST 8rTptFiJ No.54371 Reply
magnetic resonance imaging uses heavy-fucking-duty magnets to take pictures of your insides, probably something magnetic ~ mettalic in your guts.
stuff sometimes gets trapped in the appendix, maybe that's it.
maybe try drinking milk of magnesia to clear things out.
Angus Goodridge - Wed, 10 Aug 2016 22:00:23 EST z4Nfqeju No.54381 Reply
not sure, maybe you should get an mri of your abdomen to see whats wrong
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:56:33 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55625 Reply
1539986193854.jpg -(274823B / 268.38KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Lose something recently ?!...
The stainless steel teaspoon from your 'oil and spoon' kit is missing up your ass somewhere! Duh.
In these dire circumstances, you desperately need a 2.5kg glass jar (the cheap plastic jars leak manufacturing chemicals) of 100% pure organico coconut oil, an enema kit, some duct tape, a magnet, and another stainless steel teaspoon to sort this out.
Apply the entire 2.5kg jar coconut oil via enema. Give your Anus a tap and a brief massage with the back of the spoon - it's comfiest with a hand on your stomach and a foot up by the window. Then take the new stainless steel teaspoon, attach the Magnet with the duct tape to it and insert it into your rectum. It should slip past your oily sphincter into your rectum with ease. Fish around gently until you hear a metallic clank, and withdraw gently... Everything should come back out together, plus the missing teaspoon. Voila. You've removed the original spoon and saved yourself an expensive and highly embarrassing conversation and procedure at the hospital. If you used a shifty toy magnet, the original teaspoon plus new teaspoon, plus the magnet AND some duct tape is now stuck up your ass, suspended in 2.5kg coconut oil.
Boy you've a lot of explaining to do in the ER.
You're welcome.
Good luck.

promoting benin expansion

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- Mon, 15 Aug 2016 04:50:09 EST zgqyrGtr No.54391
File: 1471251009013.jpg -(775702B / 757.52KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. promoting benin expansion
Hey, I hear there are safe, sexuologist approved, ways to jelk? How about doctors?

Also, if I see that erection size decreases over many years, what actions, besides diet and physical activity to improve the cardio-vascular system, do I take? Some medical massagers, specific exercizes?
Sidney Dronkinman - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 17:04:45 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55624 Reply
1539983085854.jpg -(13019B / 12.71KB, 550x413) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Jelking (or jelqing) is a pleasureable shaft-stroking penis exercise that lovingly trains your micropenis with the goal of increasing size. Psychological studies have shown that many men who cannot cope with their tiny penis size are malignant narcissists, primary psychopaths or even European.
Jelqing involves applying maximum pressure and torquing the micropenis in a milking-like twisty motion to cause the 'organ' to grow a few millimetres in both length and girth, making a huge difference. Jelqing is typically done with 100% Virginiaia coconut oil to make it easier and more effective. Your pharmacist can sell you a special Jelking spoon and coconut oil kit, if you are a big man brave enough to enquire.
So how to Jelq? Well, you'll need a 5kg jar of coconut oil, a stainless steel teaspoon, five fingers and a tiny penis. Begin by lubricating your tiny penis with a stainless steel teaspoonful of the coconut oil. It's tempting to immediately insert the teaspoon anally at this stage but DO NOT! Instead, use willpower to form an OK-sign-like grip with your index finger and thumb, around the base of your tiny penis. With pressure applied, very very slowly slide your fingers up the shaft of the tiny penis over the course of 2 seconds. Stop and release your fingers when you reach the glans. Tap your Anus gently with the teaspoon, like to tap a boiled egg, and lovingly rub the sphincter in a clockwise rubbing motion if you are right-handed, and anticlockwise if a lefty. NOW insert handle of spoon deep into rectum and slowly withdraw. This last part is the secret to the success of the entire technique and must not be omitted under any circumstances. Plus the micropenis will throw a wobbly and refuse to gain size.
Dry jelqing (which is jelqing without a teaspoon of coconut oil) is highly discouraged. Why? Well, you don't get an even, clean sliding motion on your tiny penis, and could even cause yourself cardiac myopia thy or hyperpituitarism.
For most guys with a micropenis, as they enjoy their jelqing session they will naturally get a harder and harder erection. That's not surprising - jelqing actually feels amazing. Maintaining a 70-80% erection level is slightly challenging because it requires you pay attention to your body.
Also, never jelq with a 100% full erection as it reduces any gains you've made. A word of warning: Ejaculation at ANY time (night or day) during treatment will result in the micropenis throwing its metaphorical hands in the air and giving up, disappearing for good. You may as well get breast implants and become a woman at this point. Treatment consists of using exactly 9.85x teaspoons of coconut oil per night, 3x anal spoon massages and 0 ejaculation.
Continue jelking nightly until the 5kg jar is finished, or until your Anus has been completely eroded.
Photo illustrates the phenomenon of micropenis.
Good luck.

is it likely i have add

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- Thu, 18 Oct 2018 10:30:10 EST 2gPg0wkX No.55622
File: 1539873010007.jpg -(62291B / 60.83KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. is it likely i have add
//sorry if this is wrong board, i feel like it more concerns my health than stims themselves

Stimulants are my drug of choice for a multitude of reasons, but not because they make me really energetic. In fact, stims tend to have the opposite effect on me - I feel calm and focused, and will usually just feel like laying down and talking with those around me rather than do anything usually associated with uppers.

Is it possible I have ADD? I'm 18f and have always done fairly well in school but have never done any work in class or at home, just an hour or two of cramming the night before a test. Usually if I try to actively study I just end up staring at my wall without meaning to.

Seeing as stimulants calm me down and help me focus on singular tasks or thoughts, it occurred to me that I might just be unintentionally medicating undiagnosed ADD. Thoughts?
George Blatherfield - Fri, 19 Oct 2018 03:27:42 EST k6OPhw89 No.55623 Reply
I guess, are these prescribed? Some types of amphetamine are more-so like you describe. Illicit or otherwise.

I think most have a hard time focusing on things sometimes. Or a lot. I never liked paperwork, reading instructions, etc but amphetamine can make things that were boring, uninteresting, suddenly interesting.

So it's difficult to say.

ADD or not, surely drugs that are used to help focus, do work.

Relying on them, eh like getting a script, if that is what you are kinda wondering, I really wouldn't bother. A script, use it for however long, months years, most actually regret it. As they may be back at square one, or even further behind in coping with things than when they started ADD drugs.

But, some amphetamine can make one focus, think clearly 'as prescribed' and not be like bouncing all oveer the place without direction. So in all, surely you may have some sort of issues that keep you from focusing, similar to ADD.

I barely turned in 2nd grade homework, when I found I still got a passing grade without turning it in. Lack of focus. Oversight.
But in school most things were easy? SO that was my free pass. Do good in school, and not good on my own time.
Graham Paddledire - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 13:30:59 EST seInJVW2 No.55639 Reply
inb4 coconut oil spammer

I have a cold...

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- Sat, 15 Oct 2016 11:09:51 EST OMRfG0ie No.54563
File: 1476544191165.jpg -(20276B / 19.80KB, 295x190) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I have a cold...
And I've woken up with really bad eye mucus for the second morning in a row. I have to blindly navigate my way to the bathroom, grab a washcloth, wet it with warm water, and wipe my eyes a hundred times just to be able to see. And even then, I still won't get it all.

Why?! This hasn't happened to me during a cold/flu for 10+ years and the person that I think got me sick isn't dealing with this bullshit. Why is this cold different? And how do I prevent/treat it?
Ian Shittingdale - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 21:57:17 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55619 Reply
1539827837718.jpg -(220181B / 215.02KB, 1600x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
It's a little late for prevention if you're waking up blind.
It sounds like you have an irritated conjunctivava. The 'eye mucus' you are complaining about is dead bacteria cells and blood by-products. Do not contaminate your other eye with the infected gunk that is coming out of your other one. Luckily for you I know a 24hr cure. It involves dabbing coconut oil every 24mins for 24hrs onto your Anus with a cotton bud. You can purchase a kit, or may have the two items to hand already. Before we go any further, let’s go over some coconut oil biochemistry basics. Triglycerides (dietary fats) are made up of a glycerol backbone + 3 fatty acids. It’s the chemical structure of the majority of fatty acids (i.e., the number of double bonds, if any) in the triglyceride that dictates the classifications that humans created for them. This means applying coconut oil via a cotton tip to the Anus will cure your ailment quickly (even though it seems like an eye problem).
Thanks goodness the problem is not penis gunk each morning. Imagine washing that a hundred times!
Good luck.
Rebecca Nebblestig - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 00:47:57 EST WCBFA8xj No.55621 Reply
Maybe late but a good time to wash your bedding. Including comforters. I like to wear clother a second day, whatever. Wash dirty clothes. Vacuum your floors.
Maybe cover couch you use for a few days. I think dust kinda has something to do with this. Maybe dust some, keeping it from your eyes.

Not sure if a virus causes this, but if you use visiene make very sure not to touch your eyes with tip of applicator. Pharmacists, if you call them they usually will be happy to take a moment to explain things.

GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?

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- Sun, 17 Dec 2017 12:07:07 EST xqN5w2gn No.55203
File: 1513530427328.jpg -(87161B / 85.12KB, 500x707) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. GF Choked me, now my neck's messed?
My girlfriend choked the ever-living daylights out of me about ten days ago (consentually) and we (stupidly) didn't look up how to do it safely beforehand, aaaaand I think she may have messed something up.

My neck has been sore for over a week, I have this wierd rushing sound in my left ear, and I just feel tired and dizzy frequently.

I'm hoping it's just a coincidence and I have a... IDK, an inner-ear infection or something. Or is it possible she damaged a major vein/artery? She wants me to see a doc but we're from a very small town that's hardcore religious and I'm not sure how I could explain this to a doctor without a) outing myself b) talking about sex c) the dr thinking I'm a battered woman d)shelling out for nothing

Ugh, help. Thanks
Graham Sigglebedge - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 22:43:07 EST 8yUHTDg0 No.55204 Reply
i didnt know this type of stuff went on in lesbian relationships. interesting
Jack Fummlewell - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 00:45:31 EST M36+aLLi No.55207 Reply
If you're REALLY worried then go to the doc. If you think she may have sprained the muscle in your neck, don't worry with it. I say this assuming you're in the USA where going to the doc costs a shit ton. If you're not, then go!
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 18:56:41 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55618 Reply
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I am a highly sexual lesbian in a highly sexual lesbian relationship, and also a highly certified expert in lesbian sexual relationships. My highly sexual, expert, lesbian sexual relationship advice for both of you highly sexual lesbians in a certified, highly sexual lesbian relationship together, is this - First i recommend your partner and yourself purchase a 1000ml 'spoon and oil' kit each from a pharmacy or bring the ingredients together like yourselves. Both slowly get comfortable and naked together, make out and undress eachother slowly while kissing and making small sharp inhalations into one another's ears, flick your tongues and proceed to work up to administering an Organic 100% virgirginia coconut oil enema on eachother. This will soothe the injury consentually inflicted from the naughty bdsm sex you both participated in recently, and will also be quite light fun in the bedroom for a change for the both of you. I suspect you may be tempted to introduce your wrist and ankle restraints for that feeling of exquisite helplessness as you take turns to be fully anally filled, and this is quite alright by me. Remember to bring a teaspoon with you into the bedroom. Preferably a solid silver spoon, as frankly a stainless steel one is just not good enough for the both of you delightful little minxes. Playfully take turns gently massaging eachother over your lacy panties, insert your fingers into one another's mouths, kiss deeply and work up to gently massaging eachother anally with the coconut oil on your curling fingers. Moan and push the silver spoon into eachother. Deeply, in and out, in and out at a slow pace, your favourite position I'm sure. Then take the silver spoon when you are both completely full, and firmly rub the back of the spoon in circular motions clockwise then anticlockwise around the sphincter muscle and squirm for eachother. You're both highly worked up. Look into each others eyes - it is normal for your breathing to begin to quicken even further. Notice the dilation of your partners pupils. You've both taken the full 1000ml of the oil and know tomorrow you will be refreshed and content.
Push a finger up your own bum, and run to the bathroom quickly.


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- Sun, 18 Jun 2017 11:39:02 EST kx17QheM No.55019
File: 1497800342602.jpg -(969226B / 946.51KB, 3264x2448) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Rash
I have this rash showing up everywhere. What is it?
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Shit Girringpedge - Mon, 26 Jun 2017 21:09:10 EST W8FkDObv No.55031 Reply

heres the thing though, fungi aren't bacteria. if it is indeed fungal in origin you will need antifungal medication from the drug store. there are many over the counter brands. if you are still having this problem i would suggest going this route.

also side-note, go easy on the peroxide. that shit is like a microbiological nuke. kills all the millions of good healthy bacteria too.
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 17:22:20 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55617 Reply
1539811340432.jpg -(20207B / 19.73KB, 500x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Do you know anything about the 'oil and spoon' method? This was told to me in confidence by an English relative. You use medical grade 100% coconut oil, applying it liberally to your Anus and patting gently with a spoon until absorbed. Sounds counterproductive when it isn't even on your asshole, right? But I swear this is true, and helped my Aunty Doris relieve the fungal itch from her sweaty bra straps after wearing it for a week when her washing machine broke down and she couldn't get to the laundrette. She told me it was all in a handy kit she purchased from one of those disability company's that put flyers through your door. The kit consists of 1kg of coconut oil in a fancy glass jar and a small teaspoon (which she kept for making her and her friends tea each morning). She said she wasn't sure about putting it anywhere near her treasured jacksie, but followed the instructions on the pack and it worked marvellously. You can buy a kit over the Internet I think, or get the two items together yourself. She had trouble getting up off the bathroom floor after she had done the procedure on her bottom, and I had to feign concern. All the old ladies in her tower block now have a kit, just incase.
Good luck.


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- Wed, 02 Nov 2016 06:27:03 EST /Ttk4zqa No.54591
File: 1478082423754.jpg -(13187B / 12.88KB, 150x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. unexperienced
should I get a professional for a chemical peel or do it myself?
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:57:00 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55615 Reply
I am a beautician, and I say you can do it yourself at home with a small amount of coconut oil. A 5kg jar should be enough for your needs. Coconut oil, or copra oil, is an edible oil extracted from the kernel or meat of mature coconuts harvested from the coconut palm which grows in the plantations of the Great Barrier Reef. You take a stainless steel tablespoon of 100% pure organic coconut oil at a time, and smear it all over your face using the back of the spoon. Spread around generously. Once you have covered your face and forehead completely, take the remainder of the jar and utilise in an enema at exactly 11.35pm at this time of year as it works in conjunction with the moon. Because of its high saturated fat content, it is slow to oxidize and, thus, resistant to rancidification whilst in your rectum. After 30mins of withholding, give your Anus a playful little tap or two with the stainless steel spoon, say 'open sesame' and expel. The tap is THE SECRET to the facial technique working properly! Remove excess oil from yourself, clean face thoroughly. Voila! You are now beautiful inside and out. You're welcome.
Good luck.

Fishy smell

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- Thu, 16 Mar 2017 18:20:57 EST VtmCVvMA No.54852
File: 1489702857384.jpg -(1007432B / 983.82KB, 2560x1440) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fishy smell
So I fucked this prostitute 3 months ago and her vagina raked. My penis still smells like fish and its been 3 months. I called the nurse at the doctors office and she didn't say anything. Anybody know what this is and how to get rid of it so I can have sex with my girlfriend?
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Edwin Goodbanks - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 16:02:21 EST sSi3q2bS No.54858 Reply
>I called the nurse at the doctors office and she didn't say anything.

holy shit I would like to hear how that conversation went
Angus Heckleridge - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 03:02:51 EST VtmCVvMA No.54860 Reply
Hey I had sex with this girl and my genitals smell.
Let me ask the doctor......he said he doesn't know
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:17:18 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55614 Reply
If you continue without treatment much longer, you will be saying goodbye to your chap and saying hello to a rancid trout in your pants young man. I highly reccomend starting coconut oil masturbation sessions asap - method is to smother your pudding with 25-30g of organic coconut oil, but replace your fingers with 5 stainless steel spoons. Wood spoons will not work despite their name. 25mins minimum of this, 30mins max, for 7 nights. Using circular motions up and down the shaft paying extra attention to the banjo string area where the fish smell originates. You MUST use this technique for 7 nights DO NOT quit halfway through or you will be brain dead the next morning and it will be all your fault. I know an English guy this happened to.
Good luck.


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- Thu, 25 Aug 2016 08:07:43 EST YO0OApYS No.54435
File: 1472126863856.jpg -(26769B / 26.14KB, 400x320) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Spermatocele
I've got a "Spermatocele" in my nutsac, basically a cyst. It's painful. How do I get rid of it without surgery? My doctor said he wont remove it until it gets to "the size of a grapefruit" which could be years away. I don't want to wait that long or to have it grow that big.

Would regular gentle squeezing make the fluid move out of the cyst?
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Lillian Buvingwill - Wed, 26 Oct 2016 05:46:51 EST LQqHEoxA No.54583 Reply

Find a different doctor. The one you're seeing is a dipshit. A cyst might rupture and spread an infection that might kill you, make you sterile, cause gangrene or all kinds of nasty complications.
Cyril Bropperway - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 13:05:13 EST ovwJXydd No.54985 Reply
ittl go away by itself dude. i had one not too long ago. just keep nuttin
Angus Murdham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 14:51:09 EST R0Ou9c8/ No.55613 Reply
Cover your cyst in 10ml coconut oil and rub it gently with a spoon for 125 seconds, or until the oil is absorbed. Use the back of the spoon and remember to sterilise the spoon first in your favoured manner. The coconut oil begins dissolving the contents of the spermatocele like hydrochloric acid would. Don't be tempted to to use more than 10ml or you risk dissolving not just the cyst but your entire ball sack too. Use circular motions clockwise and then anticlockwise and i guarantee results overnight.
Good luck!

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