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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated March 20)
hemmorhoid by Phyllis Movingfoot - Thu, 23 Nov 2017 13:24:51 EST ID:4O7fBeO4 No.55174 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1511461491300.jpg -(4445422B / 4.24MB, 3129x3338) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 4445422
alright doctor heres the deal, i got a hemmorhoid on my asshole and its hurting when i cough, its like the size of a pea maybe? but its killing me. what do i do? Is there some cream I can put on my asshole to make it go away? Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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John Nacklebit - Sat, 02 Dec 2017 18:43:21 EST ID:8SsLMB+v No.55181 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yes there is. go to your local drug store.
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Fuck Hunkinwick - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 08:56:58 EST ID:R0Ou9c8/ No.55627 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>55174
Coconut oil rubbed on the pea using the back of a metallic spoon will cure it. Silver, gold, pewter, bronze, brass, titanium, aluminium, lead, steel, copper, iron, platinum or even tin spoons will work in this setting, soothing the haemorrhoid from first contact and eventually making it vanish completely. I don't recommend utilising magnesium spoons for this at all, as they are highly reactive and could cause burns that go straight through your sphincter like a hot knife through butter. The burns of a magnesium spoon result in bone charring level damage if the spoon is accidentally set on fire first and you don't notice. So use a non-combustible metal spoon to be safe please.
The coconut oil should be applied using the back of the spoon, and gently massaged in with it until fully absorbed. Now the good bit: Carefully insert the handle of the spoon into your rectum to finish off. This part can feel utterly amazing if you take the opportunity to repeatedly poke your prostrate. Don't be scared if you maintain a constant erection throughout the procedure. Move the spoon in and out, in and out a few dozen times and you should be able to feel more relief from the pea with each motion. Your penis should be extra sensitive, so rub the prostrate if you wish to experience a spontaneous ejaculation. Infact ejaculating now will feel more pleasurable and powerful than any orgasm you've had before! You can trial coughing a few times now - feel the difference? Give your asshole a little pat with the spoon to thank your Anus for its compliance, and you're all done. DO NOT make a mistake after all your hard work and forget the pat! Most men think this part is silly, but is infact the secret to this age old technique from England working. King Henry VIII himself discovered the technique! So follow in his footsteps and tap that ass. Omit the pat and you run the risk of awaking in the morning with a severely lowered IQ, perhaps even brain death, and it will be all your fault for not following instructions.
Good luck.
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Derluft - Mon, 29 Oct 2018 11:52:28 EST ID:BiMbnKbv No.55650 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Look up a sits bath; a warm water bath with Epsom salt added helps with hemorrhoids.
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Esther Billingman - Wed, 31 Oct 2018 04:44:07 EST ID:tJapgDt1 No.55652 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>55650
Epsom salts is pretty amazing stuff. good for constipation, a couple of tespoons in a glass of water. Helps get water to the pancreas, which helps break down fats in food in the lower intestines. WHich may be a cause of hemmeroid isssues for some. Bug bites, like the bump below, a compress will make that go away in like 5 ten minutes.
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Oliver Driblingdidge - Mon, 10 Dec 2018 01:10:22 EST ID:sL8MAPGc No.55663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I had one the size of a grape. There's prescription stuff called Proctofoam that's stronger than the stuff they sell over the counter. I found the cream and ointment to be less effective than the foam. I had to get mine surgically removed though eventually.
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Nell Bapperbanks - Mon, 11 Mar 2019 05:17:26 EST ID:SYy8Yh3B No.55688 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Get a squatter or it's going to keep habbening.


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