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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

Now Playing on /mtv/tube -

This is easily the #1 contender for the worst movie of the year

- Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:50:42 EST qe+PgoXf No.413664
File: 1582253442860.jpg -(152253B / 148.68KB, 618x412) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. This is easily the #1 contender for the worst movie of the year
Downhill is a movie that is so bad it makes Sherlock and Watson look like a fucking masterpiece. Sherlock and Watson was such a financial and theatrical disaster that even Netflix said "we'll pay you NOT to put that on our streaming service." This movie is all about Will Ferrell and his family are vacationing in the Swiss Alps and the only reason why they're even vacationing in the Swiss Alps is because Will's character is going thru some sort of massive midlife crisis at the moment coping with the fact how his father died off screen and its never explained how or why his father was dead and for most of the movie its barely if ever mentioned again. In a weird way, it almost leaves you the viewer thinking that Will's character in this movie was already like this LONG before his father died off screen and was using it as an excuse to go thrill seeking despite his family not being all that into it.

There is ZERO chemistry in this movie...NONE! You got Julia Louis-Dreyfus from Seinfeld who doesn't look nearly as attractive or engaging to watch as she was back when she was playing the character Elaine. She's Will's wife in this movie and throughout the entire movie they're either screaming at each other or awkwardly uncomfortable in each other's company. Nothing about their relationship even remotely feels real.

There is an entire subplot in this movie where Julia is openly cheating and stallioning her husband and its brought up maybe twice in the whole film where its brought up AS A JOKE that's near the end of the film that never gets acknowledged by Will because the entire movie is designed to make you think the Antagonist of this film is Will when literally EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY IS EXTREMELY UNLIKABLE. The reason for this is because there is an Avalanche that almost kills a ton of people and in the most fight or flight, heat of the moment, hair trigger response Will runs away from the Avalanche instead of just holding onto his family where they all just die together but since no one actually died during the natural disaster this film's plot then tries to morally dignify if what Will did was wrong or not

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MATTER?! You either die holding onto your family or you die attempting to flee to safety either way DEAD IS DEAD. The dumbest thing is despite surviving this Avalanche THEY STILL FEEL OBLIGATED TO CONTINUE VACATIONING.
John Geilgud - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 23:59:33 EST FWwhnes+ No.413665 Reply
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Thanks for your sacrifice, this was my exact assumption of what the movie would be like when they showed the avalanche scene in the trailer. Another "men so dumb just let women do whatever cause you'll mess everything up anyways"
C-Higgy !lfsExjBfzE - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 01:09:40 EST 2QAzq0Ao No.413667 Reply
I mean she was great on Veep. Just depends on the material she’s given really.
Punt Speedchunk - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 03:45:56 EST tqTl/E2i No.413671 Reply
that image is upsettingly true for some men and women alike.
Amy Pond - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 05:19:29 EST HrFy3h5g No.413673 Reply
No it isn't. The martini glass is still full in the last panel.
Adam Horowitz - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 01:02:52 EST 7VuehaRW No.413704 Reply
The film is a remake of Force Majeure (2014) by Swedish director Ruben Östlund.

Obviously the premise of, "what if when it really mattered, you took off and ran, leaving your family behind -- except it was a controlled avalanche and nobody was in danger and you had to face your family again" was at least a funny enough to make a movie out of.
Jack Torrance - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:07:42 EST sV2iCHMm No.413706 Reply
Has there ever been an English language remake of a foreign film that wasn't complete dogshit, or at best, totally pointless?
Sharko - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:10:31 EST MBYaOFE+ No.413708 Reply
i dont actually like martin scorcese's style i think his movies are tacky
Nite Owl II - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 21:25:14 EST MWon5Wu+ No.413717 Reply
Pretty pointless IMO.

My favorite is Funny Games. I don't like either version, but the exact shot-for-shot remake nature of it makes it so fuckin' astoundingly pointless that it actually trancends its pointlessness.
Because its pointlessness is a statement and that statement wasn't pointless at all.
Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovallis - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 23:56:55 EST FWwhnes+ No.413719 Reply
"real life situations" will never sell well again
Harrison Ford - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 02:32:17 EST qe+PgoXf No.413723 Reply

When the Avalanche scene happened my assumption was the whole plot of the film was gonna turn into a rescue movie and Will had to locate where the Avalanche blew his family to or if they really perished in the Avalanche he has to cope with the fact how they might not still be alive and he's probably wasting his time looking for them

Both these plots objectively better then how the final result of how this remake turned out.
Terry Nation - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 15:29:51 EST 7VuehaRW No.413728 Reply
How did you not know that you were watching a dark comedy? I am not defending the remake as it obviously is not doing well critically or at the box office, but how do you not know what genre of film you're going to see before you see it?
Cora Peterson - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 04:42:03 EST f4Ot2UEO No.413738 Reply
Which Way is Up? was adapted from the Italian film the Seduction of Mimi and they are both pretty good. It's a loose adaptation so it doesn't feel like a rehash if you've seen the original.
Stimpson J. Cat - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 21:33:37 EST E5p0/xCR No.413751 Reply
Not that anon but I try and watch movies with as little knowledge about them beforehand as possible. In my ideal world, every movie I'd see would involve me going in completely blind, with 0 expectations and 100% of the joy of not knowing where this is going.

In reality, this doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like and I do indeed tend to know at least the genre of film.
Amuro Ray - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 22:11:33 EST nUceUqiQ No.413752 Reply
Oh True Lies is a remake, and in true James Cameron fashion it kicks absolutely everything up a notch.

Dude is a master of the sequel and remake, but the man can't make an original movie to save his ass.
Stimpson J. Cat - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 22:42:38 EST E5p0/xCR No.413755 Reply
Ok, I'm assuming you're excluding Titanic since it's based on real events, but what's wrong with terminator?
Amuro Ray - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 01:38:41 EST nUceUqiQ No.413759 Reply
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Titanic is semi-shit. It would have been worse if Cameron's original plans had gone through. He was gonna make much more of a straight action movie out of that bitch.

In many ways it still is but a WHOLE lot of drama was added and fleshed out and frankly that's why it's such a long movie. At least it was for the time, it's barely a little above average by current day standards.

Terminator is just a smaller scale movie than T2, like Alien it's definitely not any worse than the sequel.
But if you're a normie or a pre-pubescent film-brainlet you rant and rave about how much better Cameron's sequels are than the originals.
They, aren't. They're just... more, and always crossed with the action genre.
More works great for an action comedy like True Lies. Because True Lies can straddle the line, it can earnestly be the very thing it's spoofing on. While the original, La Totale! while just as funny is more of a straight comedy.

Crossed with action, bombastic, but fundamentally just bigger and more of the same... It's like this man was genetically engineered for making the ideal Hollywood sequel.
And the poor guy. Craves to make something original, dumps everything he has into Avatar, but it ends up just being a mishmash of other shit. Dances with Wolves, Fern Gully, Pocahontas, Roger Dean/World of Warcraft's floating tree islands and about half a dozen other movies and books.
He just wasn't made for this.

So what does he do? He uses his avatar money to go on expeditions to the bottom of the goddamn ocean and writes and produces an Alita adaptation. Poor, defeated Cameron.
But on the bright side, he'll soon be doing a follow-up to his own work, and we all know how well he handles follow-ups.
Amuro Ray - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 02:03:57 EST nUceUqiQ No.413761 Reply
>what's wrong with terminator?
Oh right I didn't really address Terminator. He definitely aped Harlan Ellison, and while that dude was monstrously litigious, I think he had a better point here than in most of the other cases he got legal on people's asses.
I think the connection to "Demon with a glass hand" is by far the most dubious, but "Soldier of Tomorrow" is deeply, deeply incriminating. Skynet is derived from "I have no mouth and I must scream"

So, nothing's wrong with it per se but it's absolutely an adaptation.

And there was nothing more certain in the world while Ellison was alive: you take from Harlan Ellison, you damn well credit Harlan Ellison.
Benedict Cumberbatch - Tue, 03 Mar 2020 14:56:56 EST ND6/hhZ8 No.413842 Reply
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>One person who caught The Terminator while it was still in theaters was Harlan Ellison, the prolific and often contentious science-fiction writer. “I loved the movie, was just blown away by it,” Ellison said. “I walked out of the theater, went home and called my lawyer.” Ellison alleged that the Terminator screenplay was based on two episodes of the TV show The Outer Limits that he had written, “Soldier” and “Demon with a Glass Hand.” The episodes seem a plausible inspiration—in the first three minutes of “Soldier,” as in the first three minutes of The Terminator, two mysterious warriors from the future materialize in the present. And the mechanized hand of “Demon with a Glass Hand” bears some resemblance to the translucent structure of the Terminator robot. But the Terminator script can hardly be called a straight rip-off of Ellison’s work—in the Outer Limits episodes there’s no one resembling the central character, Sarah Connor, nor any reference to preventing the birth of a future warrior. And in a genre in which countless books, movies, and TV shows tackle the same themes of time travel, robots, and future warfare, no one writer can claim ownership of them. But rather than wage a costly lawsuit, Orion gave Ellison an undisclosed sum and added a credit acknowledging the author in later prints of the film. Cameron objected to that decision at the time but felt he had little power to change it. “It was a nuisance suit that could easily have been fought,” he says. “I expected Hemdale and Orion to fight for my rights, but they abandoned me. The insurance company told me if I didn’t agree to the settlement, they would come after me personally for the damages if they lost the suit. Having no money at the time, I had no choice but to agree to the settlement. Of course there was a gag order as well, so I couldn’t tell this story, but now I frankly don’t care. It’s the truth. Harlan Ellison is a parasite who can kiss my ass.”

The Futurist - The Life And Films of James Cameron by Rebecca Keegan
Marvin the Martian - Wed, 04 Mar 2020 09:20:41 EST IBJAbzvX No.413847 Reply
Agreed. Sometimes good creatives can be massive tools.
Frank Miller - Thu, 05 Mar 2020 05:11:23 EST 2KH1B6/a No.413856 Reply
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They're both huge douches.

There was actually a huge amount of drama between Ellison and Rod Serling.
...Which is partly why the shit Cameron based Terminator on were Outer Limits episodes and not Twilight Zone. When by the time the 80's rolled around he was ALL OVER Twilight Zone.

But he also did this:
>In his book "Stalking the Nightmare", he recounts an incident that led to his being fired from Walt Disney Productions on his first day of work. At lunch in the studio commissary, he jokingly told fellow writers that they should "do a Disney porn flick", and proceeded to act out parts in the voices of various Disney characters, unaware that animation head Roy Edward Disney and other studio chiefs were sitting nearby. Ellison claims that when he returned to his office, he found a termination letter on his desk, and his name on his parking space had been painted over.
What a fucking Chad.

He also mailed one of his asshole High School English teachers all of his good reviews for decades because he said his writing was shit once.
Huuuuuge douche.
Probably because he was a manlet nerd.
Frank Miller - Thu, 05 Mar 2020 05:22:38 EST 2KH1B6/a No.413859 Reply
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And I'll add that the connection to Demon with the Glass Hand is fucking bullshit.

The ONE original concept that came from Cameron and was the entire impetus for making Terminator was his idea for the endoskeleton effect. Everything else came from that.

However. it was the third item of the lawsuit, which is why the studio and producers told Cameron to fucking eat it.
The "Soldier" and "I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream" ones are dead on. The entire lawsuit would have been on the merits of the copyrightibility of those ideas, a substantial similarity was a given.
Princess Tinyfeet - Thu, 05 Mar 2020 07:01:59 EST IBJAbzvX No.413862 Reply
Most cases like this get tossed these days, thankfully. Media isn't composed in a vacuum, other artists are subconsciously influenced by everything they watch whether they realize it or not.
Nite Owl II - Thu, 05 Mar 2020 09:44:04 EST SncK0axa No.413863 Reply
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He had a long history of treating other people like shit and later patting himself on the back for it. I remember seeing a clip from an interview with a friend of his and the guy said, "The thing you have to know about Harlan is that he's at war with 95% of the world 95% of the time."
Barbara Wright - Sun, 08 Mar 2020 20:38:26 EST EVLa+q26 No.413931 Reply
I used the context clue of Shatner squeezing Ellison's tit.
Morena Baccarin - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 01:09:01 EST 4J0yaglh No.413933 Reply
Haha it got my attention and made me want to specifically know what bill's horndog ass said
Bubbles - Mon, 16 Mar 2020 12:44:52 EST 3pwsFgor No.414084 Reply
i watched Force Majeure a few years ago after hearing Bret Easton Ellis recommend it on his podcast (i wish Bret didnt put that shit behind a paywall).

It was alright but it seemed like a watered down Haneke style flick. it somewhat hit its mark, but it's not a hard one to hit nor that original or originally done. the thought that they did this with Seinfeld and SNL actors trying seems cringe enough on its face, but to see the universal shit on this movie makes me just feel bad for them. LIke they wanted to try their hand at art house or serious psychological portrayal and were told by audiences "stay dancing for us, clowns"

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