|>> || Kramer boasts about his recent flood of successful dates. “Women can’t resist me, Jerry!” His schedule soon becomes so busy that he sometimes has to date two or more women at the same time, but they don’t seem to mind, and actually compete respectfully with each other for his attention. What’s more, every one of them calls him back, almost desperate for a second date. |
After overhearing a comment about his pasty skin tone from a table in the front row of a show, Jerry starts trying to tan. He spends hours in the sun and even resorts to trying a tanning booth on its highest setting, but his skin remains strangely unaffected, as if impervious to heat.
George meets eyes with a woman on the opposing subway platform and his heart skips a beat. She smiles at him and he smiles back, waving bashfully. He feels something powerful stir inside him that he never felt before, as if he found the missing piece of a puzzle he had given up on ever finishing. The feeling almost moves him to tears. Their moment is ruined by the arrival of her train. He quickly rushes up the stairs and across to the other side, but by the time he gets there, he’s disappointed to find the train pulling away from an empty platform. He jumps on the next one and rides it to the next station, where he finds her waiting just outside the door. He rushes out to meet her, and as they embrace, he can feel her heart beating in perfect time with his own.
Elaine staggers wearily into Jerry’s apartment, announcing she has yet again broken up with Puddy. Jerry takes a clock down from the wall. “Well, this is a few minutes fast, then.” Elaine is only slightly offended that Jerry has been literally setting his clocks by her relationship cycle.
Kramer briefly stops by Jerry’s apartment between dates, his arm around the woman with whom he had just shared a home-cooked dinner. Elaine finds herself inexplicably drawn to him, sauntering almost uncontrollably toward him with an alluring look in her eyes. She wraps herself around him on the side opposite the other woman. It’s confusing to her, but feels right.
As Kramer walks down the street, every woman he passes joins the growing group of women clambering over each other to get as close to him as possible. He never makes it to his next date, unable to move under the crushing weight of bodies.
George’s girlfriend suddenly clutches on to him for a moment, a look of panic in her eyes, then quickly stumbles backwards down 5th Avenue as if being pulled by an invisible rope. He runs after her for almost half a block before giving up, shrugging, and heading home to his apartment.
After an hour, every woman in Manhattan is piled around Kramer. Women from Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Staten Island, and Jersey City are lifted off their feet and pulled toward the growing tower. All around the planet, men watch in helpless despair as the entire female population of Earth hurtles through the air, converging on Kramer’s now-pulverized corpse. The shift in distribution of mass alters Earth’s orbit, and as it starts to sink slowly toward the sun, Jerry is finally able to get that tan.