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Possible to chip?

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- Sun, 26 Apr 2020 18:21:20 EST GbswW6cE No.614994
File: 1587939680418.jpg -(89595B / 87.50KB, 600x537) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Possible to chip?
So guys, I have come to you with a question. I'm in search of anyone who is able to successfully chip.
My background: 23yo with a history of drug abuse however I've been mostly sober over the last 3 years with the exception of kratom and nicotine.
In March, probably due to being in lockdown, I had a little binge on some opioids. It started with oxycodone, 10mg would get me nodding nice. I got a sleeve of 10 * 80mg oxycodone hydrochloride, that progressed to me ordering 2.5g of high quality #3 heroin freebase off the darkweb, then another 5g. In total I consumed over this 3 week binge period 800mg of oxycodone (boofed) and 7.5g of heroin (smoked) over a 3 week period.
On the last night of the binge, I pretty much figured that I would be fine and the kratom would carry me through the withdrawal. It was only 3 weeks after all. How wrong I was. Withdrawal hit like a bitch about 24 hours after my last dose and I desperately ordered another 5g of Heroin. While waiting for it to arrive, I suddenly got some sense and realized I was addicted at this point and taking more would only postpone the detox I'd eventually have to do (and make it worse). I told my gf everything (she knows that I have a history of drug abuse from years back but never witnessed it, she is drug naive and I was hiding the use from her over these 3 weeks) that I was addicted to heroin. I told her that I had 5g on the way in the mail and I needed to tell her so she could make sure I wasn't home when it arrived and we could flush it together. So everything went according to plan, we flushed the heroin and she helped me through the week or so of horrible withdrawals. Now I've been off it for over a month and I'm wondering now... is it possible to chip?
Keep in mind that that was my first time getting addicted to hard opiates and I had the self control to stop. So if I was able to do that then is it possible to maintain enough self control to chip? I want to be able to use here and there but I am well aware it is a very dangerous game. But going in with the right mentality, does anyone here do this successfully?
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Walter Bimmerham - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 09:37:25 EST 3s3gTfet No.614999 Reply
>>614994
It is possible to go back to chipping. I was used to banging 60mg of morphine twice a day, progressed to 200mg morphine twice a day while on 10mg bup patches, and it's been over a year and a half since I've last banged morphine. One year and two months since I've last banged coke. After a while, approximately 8 months after I went to inpatient rehab here in Brazil (and taking naltrexone pills), I went back to moderately using oxycodone and skipping some days of naltrex. As I had no direct access to it, and I would, as you do, receive it by mail, I never got the chance to get addicted again, but everytime I had it on me I would use it. At work, at home. Couldn't control the urges, only the supply. Now I've given up again, easily, after my tolerance went to 80mg every 4 hours. Had some wds, but nothing unusual, easy breezy compared to morphine.
But anyway you can't help yourself, it's not possible for you to chip because as you've told us you've binged it and couldn't stop. If you had to get help to flush the heroin, you'll have to get help to get off it.

Good luck nevertheless. I know we don't always do what's reasonable. Try, though. Life without opiates is amazing after a while. Take meds prescribed by your psychiatrist. It really helps.
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Alice Cupperchune - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 10:01:53 EST qdv0iAdf No.615000 Reply
>>614994
Sure you can, but do you really want to? It will be a constant battle to not do more and more often, and when you do do some it won't be really fun because you have to hold back.

So I say be glad you got off and make the most of it. Not everyone can say the same.
>>
Nathaniel Dricklestot - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 16:27:55 EST Mf6FwbGS No.615002 Reply
>>614999
OP here
Thank you for the excellent response man. I know that life without opiates/opioids is good, I've been about 3 years sober more or less before this little binge. Unless you want to count kratom, but I really hold it to a different standard than other opioids because it just doesn't have that same potential for your tolerance to skyrocket and then snowballing into an unsustainable habit. Like, for the past 6 years I have consumed roughly the same amount of kratom -- even after 6 years I'm still on around 10g per day, which is quite a low dose. So it really is nothing like getting ahold of oxycodone or pure heroin and having your tolerance skyrocket within weeks, the euphoria is not as bad, the withdrawals from kratom are not as bad (though they certainly can be bad), but the point is I don't count kratom as not being "clean" because for me kratom has been mostly beneficial.
And yeah, my life is pretty good. I have an amazing girlfriend, I'm getting a degree, and I have a lot going for me right now. The only real problem I struggle with is spending too much time indoors in front of the computer/TV which really fucks my mental health after 1-2 days. But other than that I do take good care of myself and my life since I moved to where I am now.
I can stay away from the opioids but god damn I'd be lying if I'd say I don't get cravings. From your story it sounds to me like you are not really succeeding so well at chipping, if you say that whatever you get your hands on gets used up instantly.
What I had in mind in my sick addict fantasy is to order a couple of grams of H and save it for special occasions or like once a week or something like that. But I'm worried I'll get hooked again. I'm okay with my self using every once in a while, but I am NOT okay with being dependent.
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Morphiate !!FINz0LE9 - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 20:58:28 EST zaurUfK0 No.615004 Reply
>>615000
Pretty much this. I had a full-on daily use habit for a good 9 years before quitting and then relapsing a few times. I finally started chipping once a week pretty reliably for maybe 4 months or so. Then I lost control and started using every day again.

The worst part about chipping for me was that it just wasn't the same experience that I was trying to recreate. Trying to relive old nostalgia is a retarded idea anyway but even just trying to feel the same high you used to doesnt work out. There is a major different when you go from full withdrawal to full high vs just normal to full high. Even though feeling sick was horrible and I hated it, there was something endearing about it. Something about it made the highs even better. For me its just not the same using once a week. If you can quit and stay off I would just do that. Chipping is lackluster compared to the former glory of daily use and it always (for me) seems to devolve into daily use again.
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DTMO - Mon, 27 Apr 2020 21:29:59 EST GGV29moS No.615005 Reply
>>614994
Chipping isn't really possible for me, but I manage to use opiates every few months on average with the occasional binge without too much drama. YMMV.
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Jenny Merrymick - Thu, 30 Apr 2020 13:39:15 EST PE+xPGq7 No.615038 Reply
>>615023
So you being either a small girl or an opi noob means kratom is objectively good?

Ok...
>>
Sidney Cassleseck - Sat, 02 May 2020 04:21:30 EST 29QbCoeq No.615054 Reply
1588407690294.jpg -(41613B / 40.64KB, 589x389) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>614994
you fucking retard. just do the drugs or not. no need to make it a fucking dramatic omg fest. not even the worst trip fags here are that bad.
women dont care, just dont be weak, theyre not going to pretend like they didnt see their "man" acting weak and pathetic because you were on or not on drugs. Why did you tell us all that? Its you crying for help saying that you know you cant chip but you want to, and you want us to enable you.
So no, you are certifiably too retarded to chip, i am sorry. maybe in a year or two you will be wiser. I can go on but thats enough to sink in for now
>>
Albert Crebberhall - Fri, 29 May 2020 16:07:21 EST GDPxoLbJ No.615445 Reply
1590782841743.jpg -(940888B / 918.84KB, 1080x1282) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
So just want to update everyone on what happened lol

I did end up ordering another 2.5g of heroin. I tried to be cautious about the use. I started smoking some after a few days and got really nicely high. I waited a few days between each dose. Obviously it was still too frequent. I would be thinking about it all the time. My original plan was to use once a week at a maximum but I ended up slowly bending the rules, and by the end of the bag I was like fuck it it's almost done anyways so I'll run out and that will be that and I ended up smoking it 3 nights in a row. Only at night though but still that was obviously too frequent.

Did hit some minor withdrawals but nothing super serious. Was able to sleep the first few nights even (though not well) and taking a shit ton of kratom seemed to eliminate most of the withdrawals. Still the withdrawal got uncomfortable enough at one point that I had a little panic attack thinking I was going to have to go through the hell that I went through from the first relapse (and it was really fucking horrible) and in that panic I confessed everything to my girlfriend (as I was with her at the time). If I wasn't with her at that moment I probably would have never told her. That was probably on May 10th or so. She has been really supportive and there for me but the one thing she can't take is me lying about my use (which I did). Because on the first day of using that 2.5g bag of H I took a little too much and threw up the next day on my way to her place. She was very suspicious and asked me if I had used but I brushed it off and then spent the next few days at her house without using so her suspicion dropped. She's not as mad about the use as she is about me lying about it.

Anyways, yeah. I don't think chipping is for me. Since then I have only taken 40mg of oxycodone on my birthday which was honestly a very underwhelming high but yeah. I know I should just stick to kratom but I am very often thinking about heroin now.

I appreciate everyone's input even the dude who was like a super harsh asshole because I think in the end he was right. I'm talking about you
>>615054

Pic is a drawing I made back in 2014 when I had my first romance with opioids
>>
Henry Grimshaw - Mon, 22 Jun 2020 14:47:32 EST 6a+aey0Y No.615882 Reply
>>615445
you're an addict and will eventually become a junkie. every one of us had the same thoughts and experiences as you are currently blogging about. one of the common threads is denial. Denial that you will become a junkie, denial that you will relapse yet again. It's pretty much over now and will only end in jail, institutions or death, or if you're super lucky/dedicated and really want it, actual recovery. It will take everything from you, starting with your relationship. You will continue to lie more and more and won't be able to hide it anymore.

I hope you prove me wrong, and can make this the end of it. I would love that . Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
but for fucks sake stop blog posting.
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Phyllis Wondlehood - Thu, 25 Jun 2020 15:34:03 EST XKjoXYPx No.615944 Reply
>>615445
Lol im sure ive seen that posted on here before (not saying you didnt draw it )

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