|>> || >>903903 |
I haven't really had any bad experiences on LSD. The worst was either having to train a new hire at work while trippin balls or an experience that I had that wasn't on acid, but 3-MeO-PCP and DPT (of course, now that I got a plug on shrooms and acid I've tripped while at work pretty regularly now actually and trained at least 3 new hires will trippig face... kinda pushing my luck with how far gone I was last time combining piracetam, mushrooms, and LSD... didn't expect the piracetam to intensify the trip literally 2 or 3x like people were saying, figured they were exaggerating lol... one of the best trips I've ever had though heh).
Nos, when I say it was one of my worst trip experiences, I don't mean at all that I didn't enjoy the trip--it's quite the opposite. This was the trip of all trips, I know for absolute certain that this kind of experience can only occur with such intensity, profundity, and power once in a person's life time. It was like a trip I was destined to have (considering the fundamental tenets of quantum theory and shit are such that it requires the universe to be deterministic,. I suppose it was). I had blacked out by accident because I guess I accidentally dosed too much 3-MeO-PCP, and when I came to I was no longer a part of universe that I had believed to exist, I was a being of pure energy. Every time I'd move, it were as if the energy I was composed of was constantly cycling between annihilation and reconstruction/rebirth. With every bit of distance I transitioned spatially, it were as if I had to destroy and rebuild/rebirth myself at each step. Actually, that's not the right way to describe it. It was just most noticeable while moving.
Rather, with each passing quanta of time all the way down to the planck scale, in order to move forward through the passage of time, I had to destroy what I was... I had to remove the boundaries of my form and reuturn from an orderly state to one of chaos. Simultaneously, I would then have to recreate and reshape myself back into the new, ever so slightly updated reconfiguration of my component energy/matter. The process was done through a sheer will to power, the will to exist and to be born, to forge myself back together with each passing moment into the shape/form I desired to become. This will to power, the will to live, survive, to exist, and to manipulate the surrounding existenxe was so intensely powerful that it felt violent. Violent is the only word I can come up with to describe it, but it isn't accurate enough. It's not that I willed to commit violence or to inflict damage on anybody or anything. What I mean is that this sheer intensity and power behind this will I used to continue existing by continuously annihilating and reonstructing myself was the equivalent of an unstoppable primal force, in all its unfiltered unconscious crudeness. That will only sought one thing, endlessly obssessively and single-mindedly. If that will to power had manifested in the desire or at least the action/behavior of attacking somebody or something, then there wouldn't have been any stopping me.
When I first came to, I would have lost all contorl because the intensity of the will to power, but there was somebody speaking to me using the image (or at least the voice) of my father. What it actually told me was bad and would've caused some fucked up shit to happen if I had actually listened to what it wa ssaying, but instead hearing it speak to me and say the things it was triggered a sudden feeling of taking part in some kind of destined "ritual" or something... again, not the right word to describe it. The voice was telling me to remember, to remember, and to get violent. From the outside looking in, it would seem like it was trying to get me to hurt somebody, but instead I remembered them as words I had been told before my birth, and that I'd been told an unknown, even incomprehensible number of times in the past, always before my birth. Eventually this event I was experiencing would take place, and then I would be awakened to the lessons and knowledge I'd been taught (or maybe learned myself?).
As far as how it felt having to annihilate and reconstruct myself and shit, it felt like I was manipulating a field around me beforehand, and then I would just "slide" or "flow" into place. It was an extremely contradictory feeling of flo…
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