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- Fri, 27 Sep 2019 21:41:54 EST c+ot2hXd No.898769
File: 1569634914049.gif -(530224B / 517.80KB, 500x715) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Demons
I can't smoke weed anymore because it makes me have flashbacks and panic attacks relating to a bad trip I had a whole year back. Not only that but it hits me when I'm home sober.

People keep telling me that I should trip again in a better setting to fix it but I'm too chicken shit to try.

Any similar experiences like this?
>>
Clara Fengerkitch - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 21:49:44 EST LywZUfmH No.898770 Reply
>Not only that but it hits me when I'm home sober.
The fear of the trip or the weed?
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Nigel Farryfot - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 04:41:13 EST IUgqsTKl No.898773 Reply
Havey you ever written the trip out full form?
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Henry Worthinglock - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 12:37:59 EST c+ot2hXd No.898778 Reply
>>898770
It's mostly the fear of the trip that the weed activates.
>>
Simon Mocklehall - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 20:25:52 EST c+ot2hXd No.898785 Reply
>>898780
I'm not going to type out all the details of it but I think I have a handle on why I experienced what I did.

During a trip you hit a point where your ego dissolves, but when I hit that point I was outside and in the dark with cars everywhere and people walking about. My ego was trying to collapse but simultaneously holding on due to the fact that there was so much ''danger''. At this point everything turned hellish, mentally and visually.

Thing is that this happened about a year ago and since it happened I have been getting effects that are similar to PTSD. When I have a panic attack it's like the events and things that I experienced become immutable fact, like the universe is entirely insidiously evil and crooked in it's construction and continued operation and I can't separate trip from reality and the trip becomes reality.
>>
Samuel Lightville - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 21:11:57 EST NYw9n0/7 No.898786 Reply
I had this too, your friends are right, you just need to get back on the horse.

You kind of have to beat it. It's rough but it gets better, don't worry.
>>
Hannah Trotway - Sun, 29 Sep 2019 15:37:37 EST LywZUfmH No.898793 Reply
Alternative, find a shrink that doesn't mind psychedelic use.

A bad trip is no different from a bad experience in life that fucked you up, and a few talking sessions with a professional can really get the stinger out.

Also, you'll jump in your healing trip with a lot more confidence than just jumping in rn.
>>
Jack Grimshaw - Tue, 01 Oct 2019 20:13:13 EST 1t4uCBPz No.898843 Reply
>>898769
Yeah. I had a bad trip on LSD about a year ago. I was fine after the trip, but smoking weed a week later messed me up. I had visuals, HPPD, movement in my periphery when sober... I used to be afraid to open my eyes in a dark room. Here's my advice:

Why not stay sober for a little while? Go on a hike, pursue a hobby, read some literature, exercise... Get back to your baseline. Psychedelics can always wait. Tripping again could go both ways. Your sober feelings will be amplified, including any PTSD symptoms. There's a chance you could mess yourself up even more. You might turn it around, but it's a bit of a gamble.

My recovery, if you're interested, involved a very strange experience with DXM. I was looking for anxiety relief, but my anxiety hit me full force while I was peaking. I started seeing visuals and flashback symptoms. There I was, expecting some anti-anxiety, opiod-like effects, suddenly thrown into psychedelia. I was pissed, anger overtook fear, and I directed that anger at Fear itself. I negotiated. I wrote a letter. I reached an understanding with Fear and with myself.

I can't say I'm cured, but my HPPD no longer gives me anxiety. I'm no longer scared of shadowy figures in my periphery.

P.S. Do you consume caffeine regularly? I used to take more than 600mg a day. Cutting back helped ease some anxiety.
>>
Edwin Brookhood - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 02:32:28 EST c+ot2hXd No.898851 Reply
>>898843
>Why not stay sober for a little while?
Persuing this at the moment, did try smoking weed about a week back but I took two tokes and suddenly started having intense flashbacks which is more similar to PTSD. I MIGHT have hppd but my issue has to do more with the extreme negative emotions and uncovered trauma that the trip uncovered, no visual symptoms or anything like that. It's amazing how you can go through so much trauma and not even notice.

>DXM
I have never done a disso that wasn't ketamine and it was horrible. I think my adhd brain gets spooked by the effects it has.

>tripping again
To be honest, the problems that i'm having were directly caused by me being incapable of letting go and surrendering to the experience. During my previous trip in which I felt comfortable letting go, I had experiences which I can describe as incredibly uncomfortable but featured none of the abject horrorterror of my last experience.

>coffee
I have noticed that caffein triggers the symptoms a little bit
>>
Edwin Brookhood - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 02:53:22 EST c+ot2hXd No.898852 Reply
>>898851
Also I have noticed literally just now that I can smoke weed still, just not at night.
>>
Hedda Deddlebury - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 05:05:33 EST Z4Ix2n3J No.898855 Reply
>>898769
Does it feel lonely? Does it ever feel like you're going crazy? Like reality is slowly shattering or you're losing control/your mind? I see lots of people that I think had very similar experiences to me, but sometimes I'm not so sure and I too (if you do as well) feel alone as fuck in all this.

I also had a really bad trip that got me diagnosed with PTSD, treated it with EMDR therapy and stopped tripping completely. It's been months now and I still have residual anxiety, almost always about the anxiety itself or some other existentially paranoid thought that I ruminate on. My advice, take a serious break from tripping until you feel 100% confident. Don't take that bad experience so literally & seriously, what hurt me a lot is attaching so much weight to my thoughts.

"Oh no, it's happening again, the reminder. Is anything real? Am I back in that place? Have I been in that place my whole life and I only realize every once and again? My whole life is just a mere story, lost in a collection of infinite stories. Etc. etc., it was endless anxiety ruminating over things that to other people would just be an interesting, bizarre, fleeting thought.

I wish I could fix you, because my demons also stayed with my long after the trip ended, and I know how scary it can be. Things that helped me and could possibly help you:

Practice meditation and the art of observing thoughts, not attaching your sense of self to them.

Work on your mind body connection. This helps with grounding you into the material world instead of being lost in your head.

Adopt healthy, productive habits, even if you fucking hate them. This one is really hard, but fake it till you make it, no matter how fake it sounds in your head.

Reinterpret the experience. What I've realized is, whatever the fuck that place is I went to, it's the same all around. I've been there before on previous trips, maybe before I was born, I was there in more recent trips, and maybe I'll see it again when I die. It's all the same, I just had a single bad experience and after that, any slight reminder of that headspace sends me down a negative spiral and I instantly get anxious and alert. This is normal for any traumatic event, not just a bad trip, a bad enough trip is just a good old traumatic event.

Get some help, talking with a shrink helps a lot. And if it's bad, like PTSD level bad, I really recommend EMDR therapy. Serious fucking lifesaver right there, I'm pretty sure it helps with reinterpreting the experience and things related to the experience.
>>
Hedda Deddlebury - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 05:08:52 EST Z4Ix2n3J No.898856 Reply
>>898793
Adding to this, give shrinks a chance. I know lots of people who don't connect the first 2 sessions and try finding a new one. My shrink is harshly against all drug use and is honestly fucking annoying when he brings it up lol, but he handled my bad psychedelic experience the best way possible, he treated it like any other traumatic event and never once dared to diminish my experience as not being "real" because it was the result of self-ingested drugs.
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Angus Haddlebury - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 07:37:59 EST O+nLOUrh No.898860 Reply
>>898856
sounds like a good way to end up in a psych ward against your will
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Ebenezer Duckdale - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 07:53:59 EST FmcvfRo2 No.898861 Reply
>>898860

Considering that’s your immediate response, and guessing your temperament from just that, you probably would.
>>
>>
Angus Haddlebury - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 08:16:02 EST O+nLOUrh No.898862 Reply
>>898861
yeah man you accurately judged the whole of my mental state from a single sentence, you should probably go into psychology
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Jesus Christ - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 10:51:17 EST 1+lO5BI7 No.898864 Reply
>>898856
>>898860
>>898861

Apprentice psychologist here, got my BA in psych, I work in the field

Information discussed between a licensed therapist and a client is privy to doctor/patient confidentiality. Your therapist can't get anyone else involved unless they believe you are in danger of harming yourself or others. This needs to be a specific threat against a person/self, not even vague, "sometimes I feel like killing people," statements are supposed to leave your sessions.

If a therapist tried to place an involuntary hold on you, they could be liable for malpractice. Tons of money, a psych license, etc..

Incidentally my therapist has been pretty non-judgmental of my drug use. They're supposed to be essentially non-judgmental, that's part of their job.
>>
Edwin Brookhood - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 12:56:37 EST c+ot2hXd No.898867 Reply
>>898855
OP here.
Thank you for the response, this is the most accurate representation of the issues I have experienced. I had never heard of EMDR therepy untill I read your post and i'm having it looked in it.


>I've been there before on previous trips, maybe before I was born, I was there in more recent trips, and maybe I'll see it again when I die. It's all the same, I just had a single bad experience and after that, any slight reminder of that headspace sends me down a negative spiral and I instantly get anxious and alert. This is normal for any traumatic event, not just a bad trip, a bad enough trip is just a good old traumatic event.

This is pretty much word for word what has been happening and it's super relaxing to read it in words from someone else. Thanks.
>>
Ebenezer Duckdale - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 19:27:58 EST FmcvfRo2 No.898871 Reply
>>898862

I said it was a guess pretty plainly, I'm not claiming any expertise because I can see your defensiveness and distrust a mile away
>>
Caroline Bunforth - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 21:31:55 EST O+nLOUrh No.898872 Reply
>>898871
Well without making this a rant about the dangers of modern psychology and psychiatry, let it be known that their are parts of the world where if you do not fit in to certain social criteria, psychology and psychiatry will forcefully be used as tools against you. If that is not the case where you live then that is fantastic, but it is not the case everywhere.

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