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My experience

- Thu, 07 Nov 2019 14:55:41 EST c+ot2hXd No.899825
File: 1573156541677.png -(389873B / 380.74KB, 447x596) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My experience
LSD pretty much forced me to come to terms with that I had been abused for about a year straight by someone whom I loved very much. It's funny because before the acid showed me it, I was completly oblivious to it.

However when I saw it during my trip, I was completly unable to recognise it for what it was.

>Still living with abuser at his house
>have 350ug tab
>drop it at his and decide to walk back up to mine, it is night time
>half way home and it all hits me at once
>I lose myself completly and I seem to be looking at everything without any form of mental distraction for the 'self'
>I freeze in place because I am very overwhelmed and more scared than I have ever been in my life
>I see an extremely malevolant entity at the end of a fractal tunnel
>I am too scared to move forward so I decide to turn around and go back to abusers house and will myself unconcious on his couch

The next day
>i am still super scared
>i am unable to seperate my trip from reality
>i am deeply paranoid about reailty and the people around me
>No matter how hard I tried I can't root my experience into reality
>My mindset is ''this didn't come from me, it's the world, that demon is the world.''
>i appear to be still thinking logically but I can't get this shit out of my mind and i'm beginning to worry that i'v unhinged some schitzophrenic potention in my mind
>detach myself from most of my friends because I no longer trusted them
>I think they know exactly what I saw because they've seen it too
>this goes on for 8 months

>have rooted experience into reality
>I am able to relate the experience to the things that were effecting me at the time (abuse)
>I realize that everything that I had been experiencing was the acid letting me in on the fact that i'd been viciously abused emotionally, it just conceptualized the abuse as a massive bloated demon
>abuser is now out of my life completly

It's been a hell of a fucking ride but i'm glad it happened otherwise I would have been stuck in the same cycle of abuse over and over again.

I wonder why It is so difficult to determine the meanings of an intense psychedelic experience and also root it into reality?
Reuben Fuckletudge - Thu, 07 Nov 2019 22:06:56 EST NYw9n0/7 No.899830 Reply
How did you not notice it? Was it like gaslighting or something?
Ebenezer Goodlock - Fri, 08 Nov 2019 10:04:54 EST uphrxDoi No.899836 Reply

*because you thought you loved him. Important distinction.
Boards - Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:53:59 EST 9mzhikTw No.899847 Reply
The fun part is when you realize, "you accept the love you think you deserve."

To guess what the above poster meant well, can you really love someone when you yourself don't love yourself?

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