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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated March 22)
#qq on IRC by Mintzs !GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST ID:d5kHsYag No.518069 Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
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Simon Sittingshit - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 14:42:02 EST ID:CZVvW8PV No.528435 Ignore Report Quick Reply
im gonna have to check that out.
Wesley Clizzlespear - Fri, 22 Mar 2019 00:47:58 EST ID:R8hIgJfh No.528456 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Kill yourself faggot
Walter Honeyfuck - Fri, 22 Mar 2019 02:18:58 EST ID:Lny7/LNo No.528457 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What bug crawled up your ass?

Deal with self hate by Rebecca Shakegold - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 21:25:26 EST ID:v1KBCftA No.528467 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have hated myself for a long, long time, I hate everything about me and yet part of me wishes for that to change.

How have you guys dealt with/overcome self hate?
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Ben Cartwright - Sun, 24 Mar 2019 09:52:55 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528482 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Okay, so you're bilingual, that's something. Indicates creativity and intelligence, I don't think even the sitting president of the United States is bilingual, so at least you can take pride in the fact that you're not a moron.

But there is nothing you appreciate, so you don't like your body. You play a lot of videya, so you're probably not on the move alot. To increase your self-esteem, it would be incredibly healthy and smart for you to start working out. Start doing strength-training, and you'll definitively start to feel more confident after two-three months of working out and building muscle.

This isn't because I wanna just get you into vanity, training does wonders for your mood and mind, and preferably you should strive to keep in shape and also sharpen your mind. If you strive to learn about things you find interesting, and being healthy, you won't care about external achievements to fill a sense of pride, because you yourself will be your own product of achievement, your mind and body. Once you have gotten control of your body, mind and habits, you will find it easier to take control of your path in life and to develop your virtues.

Someone said daily affirmation, and I second that. But only if you start to actually work on yourself, there isn't any point to self-delusion. You have to put in effort, you won't just suddenly wake up and love yourself. It's a fucking ton of work, but it'll make a man out of you.

Get into shape, learn things. After a year, I think you'll have a completely different outlook on life and yourself. Sounds easy, but it isn't, and you will fail, and you will feel like shit, and you will think "Man I don't give a shit anymore, it isn't worth it". But with persistence man, with persistence you will overcome.
Doris Lightway - Mon, 25 Mar 2019 10:00:04 EST ID:VixL4yV0 No.528490 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what this guy said.

I wanted to die and/or kill myself 3 years ago. instead, I decided to get serious at lifting. I thought "atleast I want to look good in my coffin".
instead, I found that seeing my body go from fat slob to something I was actually proud of ignited something inside me. something deeper than vanity. something that could only grow from months, years of hard work and dedication.
I achieved something other people didn't think I was capable of. hell, I achieved something I myself didn't think I was capable of.
I discovered that the state I am in is always just a temporary state. I was not locked in from birth to be fat or skinny until my death. I was not forever cursed by my weak points.
because lifting weights is not just trying working on your strong points and setting public records for your ego. lifting is about leverage, so it's about literally and figuratively lifting up your weak points.
when you first start lifting, you may have a strong bench but weak legs. lifting will force your body to balance itself, so you may see bigger gains in your weak points than in your already strong strong points.

lifting isn't just constructive, it's meditative. you will be focusing all your muscle power and brain power on not collapsing during the squat. this isn't a choice, you'll start to subconsciously clear your mind before, during and after the lift.
for 1 to 2 hours a day, you will stop feeling sorry for yourself. you will set goals and achieve them. maybe not today, maybe not even next week. but eventually you will overcome that mountain that seemed impossible to climb.

lifting won't fix all your problems, but it will make you stronger. it will make you more patient. it will teach you that strength comes from within.
Simon Shittingridge - Mon, 25 Mar 2019 10:06:11 EST ID:RXMFipUL No.528491 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Man it's not self delusion to just love yourself for just being a good intentioned human being. You don't need to have smart goals and move out of your parents house to believe that you deserve self love.

Do you kill people? No. Do you rape people? No. Torture? No.
Did you ask to exist? No. I love you man. Shit. Now that doesn't mean you're not a piece of shit but still I love you.

People are just smarter chimp puppies. Pitiful but cute. Why would you ask people to be doing goals for love?

It's because you dont love yourself enough man. Your body and your self control don't matter as much as just trying to be a good person who exists.

No offence dude. Just too much intelligence, not enough wisdom. You dont need to flap your arms so much to fly mate, just float upwards and then you can flap your arms if you want.

Depression fucking sucks by Charlotte Govinghall - Sun, 24 Mar 2019 21:29:28 EST ID:pVQpRQsT No.528484 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Its far from severe in my case but i know theres something stopping me from enjoying life. I dont really know how to explain myself, im not disfunctional, its just some sort of weight holding me down like an anchor. Is it tho? Is it real? Most of the time i listen to extremely violent and aggressive music, have death grips lyrics playing in my head all the time and i love it. I love the violence, the pain, the sight sound smell of death, the atomic heat of hate, the radical departure from this earth. I struggle to form relationships, how can i when theres this ugly shit inside of me? Sure i can try to make someone feel kind of beautiful and wonderful and like theyre the best thing on the planet but i cant do it for myself so it wouldnt be real, itd be a cry for help, an attempt to latch on to something else and inevitably drag them down, a pathetic way to go. Why dont i want to live? I barely even get drunk anymore, losing control, losing myself is near impossible, got too used to breaking myself down so my body immunised i guess.I dont care i dont care i dont care, i just want to crawl up into a ball and let everything pass, i give up. Fuck all of this, everything.

Im partly just venting but if anyone understands pls give me your two cents. I try to be conscious of my thoughts and feelings, i honestly try to fix it, writing like this helps a bit.
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James Pittspear - Sun, 24 Mar 2019 23:15:15 EST ID:ZhiJuZMA No.528487 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think I relate to all of what you said OP, except for the death grips part. Idk what else to say but yeah, I feel all of that too
Charlotte Govinghall - Mon, 25 Mar 2019 07:06:27 EST ID:pVQpRQsT No.528488 Ignore Report Quick Reply
so, how do you deal with it?
Simon Shittingridge - Mon, 25 Mar 2019 09:42:49 EST ID:RXMFipUL No.528489 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Humans are contradictory. We massacre people because we want to be loved. We become narcissists because we cant deal with the shame of being ourselves. We feel nothing because we feel too much. Everything is motivated by the opposite.

You are the same. Examine your motivations and needs honestly. You are lonely. You want to enjoy life and live authentically. You realise that you need help. Depression says no but you're self destructive enough to destroy your self destructive self.

Seen this one yet? by Molly Trotdock - Tue, 12 Mar 2019 10:57:54 EST ID:tuHeryy1 No.528358 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I suck at video games. Of course this isn't the problem, I just need a way to explain this.

I was told by the man at a very young age I had superior intelligence, which still isn't that cool but it did make me smarter than everyone I knew or had any opportunity to meet. Naturally I was held to an incredibly high standard my whole life and I have never once lived up to it. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what it is. I'm 27 and I live with my girlfriend who is cool, if a little bitchy. I pick things up, I take to them well, but then I never get any better. I start everything at a very high level and you would expect that I would grow at a high rate to the pinnacle of skill but I just don't. I have never seen anyone struggle with anything. Everybody seems to just instantly be perfect at everything (or at the very least way better than I am).

Do you know I have played soul calibur for the entirety of the series? It's my favorite game. How good are you at your favorite game? I am the worst player left on any server. I can double-perfect somebody and they will still get three unanswered wins to finish the match, somehow. It will always happen.

I failed out of college because I couldn't finish an assignment, quit every job out of shame at my inability to excel, and my house is always a ridiculous mess because I can't finish cleaning.

I'm only getting more depressed as time goes by. Should I just kill myself? Would I fuck that up too? I have a family that loves me but I can't begin to imagine why. I just can't do anything and I've tried it all. If you can think of it, you can be better at it than me, period. Every waking second I'm embarrassed and I can't really take it anymore. What does a worthless piece of shit like me do to succeed?
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Thomas Siddleson - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 08:07:08 EST ID:ffVpGLbu No.528465 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Agree with most of this but
>taken together, this SCREAMS autism
Not a fan of whacking a diagnosis on unless you are going to use that to help OP narrow down his problem. You've already explained the issue and offered a good suggestion to improve his shit.

What I'm saying is a) slinging around abused terms is bad but also
>despite you doing that the rest of your post is good shit and that one mistake is not an excuse anyone can use to justify ignoring the whole post.
>it's good
>pay attention OP.

I did laugh out loud when I read your bit about the story of soul calibur though. True.
Basil Sibberlack - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:04:00 EST ID:4CR+KoJ+ No.528471 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP you're actually a highly functioning retard and only told you were smart because you were privileged enough to be given adderall and aced the iq test because you were coached. And you're a chump if you want to kill yourself because you cant be the best gamer. Take car of your girlfriend, get good at something that you suck at, and get used to being like everybody else.
Reuben Fungerway - Sun, 24 Mar 2019 13:54:25 EST ID:7lK4qvIR No.528483 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>it's bits of narrative stuck on to fight scenes and loosely strung together by the idea of a quest for a magic sword, which, incidentally, isn't even that good.

Well, you're not wrong. It's mostly that I have always been a history buff and I find it fun to imagine the holy roman empire and poland and mughal india and whatnot while the events of the world are being shaped by one on one fights and two evil swords that cause them. Rumor is what makes the swords powerful, which isn't really all that different from 16th century eurasia, so I like it because my imagination makes it better than it actually is.

>these two problems are linked, since other people can often recognize your habits before you do (happens to everyone) and when you realize you're doing something "wrong" (suboptimally) you're afraid of letting anyone see

Now that is a pretty fine ass analysis. I have never once thought about this but the more I do the more true it feels. Sounds like the first problem is the prime cause, and I do think I can correct that with a bit more mental discipline.

I have never been given adderall, nor was I coached when I was tested in first grade. I am a chump though, no two ways about that one.

Money by Martin Mongerway - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 16:56:29 EST ID:VMWI2UQi No.528419 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>SO I need a new computer to start a business ....
*Have no job .
*cant sell blood right now .

George Fankinspear - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 19:47:42 EST ID:JCATCBbz No.528422 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Drop your standards yo.
Get a used computer. Time to call in familial and friend favors, too. Mooch and beg if you have to. If you can't sell your blood or plasma at the moment sell something else.
Don't steal people's shit to sell. I've done it and you feel worse than a chronic plasma donor. Maybe start a gofundme and just beg. I've heard rumor that there are folk who donate money to people like yourself. Eh, good luck regardless being broke blooooowwwwws. If you get a job make it self-employment that way you can work when you want to.
Beatrice Gubbersadging - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:42:26 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528478 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What type of business are you trying to start? If it needs a computer, you probably need more funds than just for the computer...
>need moneys
Have you tried singing outside the bars? If antisocial, have you tried just checking outside the bars with a flashlight right after closing, for lost change and gemstones? I've found several diamonds that way, all in front of the same gay bar.

Crazy Ass Woman by Isabella Gallerham - Mon, 11 Mar 2019 15:18:49 EST ID:OuQCp+w8 No.528348 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So, I'm with this girl and my parents like her and stuff, she looks out for me, gives me rides but I'm not attracted to her at all. I've been speaking to her for a few months and instead of taking things slow, she tries to rush everything and that's all she does is seek constant affection and validation. I'm kinda forced to crash at her place until I get a job and my parents let me move back in and all it is is her constantly up my ass. Because I have a drinking and drug problem she doesn't allow me to drink or do drugs and is constantly suspicious of me. I want to break it off with her but she is such an emotional trainwreck that it's going to be real tough. She always is texting back and fourth with my dad giving him updates and shit about how I'm doing. I'm real sick of this, I shouldve never hooked up with her when I was drunk that ONE time. That's all it's been is her stalking me on social media and trying to make life decisions for me since. I fucking hate it.

Quick Example: I sit down on the couch, just get comfy, and shell want me to get up to show her affection like every fucking 15 minutes if not she'll bitch and moan about how I dont like her.
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George Fankinspear - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 19:52:47 EST ID:JCATCBbz No.528423 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You could even build on this one, OP. Make it clear to the girl that she's micromanaging you, you don't like it and will leave her if she continues. That way, when she continues you can leave without guilt. TADAA I SOLVED IT
George Dallerdot - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 20:38:42 EST ID:6002AjTj No.528424 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You have become her project. The whole relationship is built around her fixing you. If you can't grow a pair and tell her to GTFO (hard to do when living with her and being supported by her) you're only hope is to fox yourself. Get a job, control the drug use, keep in touch with your parents, manage your life like an adult. She doesn't want an independent man at this point. She wants a project. You're basically Mom training for her.
Beatrice Gubbersadging - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:38:24 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528477 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She's manipulative, evil, and controlling. Get the fuck out of there. Seriously, dump the bitch.

Mummy Blues by Cedric Dannerstire - Sat, 16 Mar 2019 05:09:24 EST ID:DoK4cjeL No.528402 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I am a part-time working mother with a toddler. I live 3 hours from any family and most all of my good friends work full-time. I love my child more than life itself, but having him has made me lose the last of myself. My partner is a good man, and treats me right, but he lacks empathy and doesn't understand. when i try to talk to my mother i get comments like "well at least you didnt have to raise 3 kids on your own" as though i am a shit cunt for having the audacity to be upset about my life. I honestly have a fairly good life, but i constantly feel lonely and like i am being a fake version of myself
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Augustus Choblington - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 19:23:38 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528421 Ignore Report Quick Reply
eat the child and reclaim what has been lost
try again another day
Edwin Fuckingman - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 21:50:31 EST ID:Bf3O3806 No.528426 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I heard some say this on /420/ to if tbis is true. Holy shit lmao.
Beatrice Gubbersadging - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:36:26 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528476 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>my partner is a good man
He'd be a better man if he was your husband.
>feeling fake
Well, why? Most people are pretty damn fake, never showing who they actually are to even themselves. This would probably be a good place to start if you want to get through your shit. Why do you feel fake?

A pity to envy by Bruno - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 17:09:37 EST ID:33P85GSG No.528436 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I got stalked by some organization with incredible technology for posting shit on tinfoil in 2013.

They're into crazy shit. Fringe shit. They say I am going to get shot in the head if I don't stop posting about it. But they did bad things and it's wrong. Like anti-christ wrong.

I don't think it's a hill worth dying on.

I've learn a lot about their capabilities and now any job or profession I could get would seem utterly meaningless compared to the study of the human mind that could be done. So I just sit around painting wires coming out of my head.

No one will ever believe this.
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Awe God !!Bwteoy2D - Tue, 19 Mar 2019 11:40:37 EST ID:Hk18xYib No.528447 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what sort of organization was stalking you?

what kind of study of the human mind could be done?
Det. Colombo - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:10:41 EST ID:4CR+KoJ+ No.528473 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You can't just talk smack without evidence, you need to be able to show what they have been doing, once you have something that's tangible then you can email it to a journalist who will do the publishing.
Beatrice Gubbersadging - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:32:25 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528475 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's not how journalism works. Unless they think they can make money off of the story, or you pay them, they don't post shit. It's honestly pretty fucked up how journalism works.

The Red Pill by Alice Sushway - Fri, 22 Mar 2019 08:50:08 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528459 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What do you guys think about the red pill?
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Jenny Sirringfine - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 03:53:56 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's awfully closed minded of you.
Martha Ficklespear - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 12:16:09 EST ID:Lny7/LNo No.528466 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Looks like a suppository to me.
Basil Sibberlack - Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:05:32 EST ID:4CR+KoJ+ No.528472 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think it got me *woke*

Bad impulse control by Fucking Buckleson - Sat, 02 Mar 2019 05:15:45 EST ID:rcQ4DkqY No.528256 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey ya'll,

Ever end up in a situation that if it were ever exposed it would be the most shamefully carrer ending cancelation of your life?

If so how do you deal with the pressure of whether oor not it was noticed?
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Eliza Trotspear - Sat, 16 Mar 2019 11:34:44 EST ID:OfJhx+DI No.528410 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just about all of it. Nobody who doesnt deal with you on a daily basis actually gives a fuck about you and only judge you when it's topical to do so and then you go back to being a total afterthought.

I don't really ever give a fuck because I don't feel like putting in the amount of effort required to do so, and see no reason to. What do other people know? Why would I, why should I care? Even if they knew it all, same question.

Life just happens, and it's always happening. The details of my life or anybody else's for that matter only mean what you believe they do and in the context of the interaction between and consideration of human beings. Life has all sorts of consequences and meaning outside the specific context of our interactions with one another, and potentially even more so. I don't naturally subscribe to the meaning things have specifically in the context of my interactions with others or their interactions with one another.

By a similar token, I have no immediate reactions when it comes to the things people say or admit to feeling that they believe is fucked up, weird, awkward, disgusting, morally wrong, bizarre, or whatever. People often wind up following up statements I have absolutely no problem with or real reaction to with some kind of qualifying statement or precede it with one (such as "alright i know this is gonna sound really fucked but", etc.). I just don't conceptualize/see the world that way. It's borderline if not outright autistic in a lot of ways.

Sometimes I will choose to see something in a negative light/wrong or weird or something like that, but it's always an actual choice of mine. I never get any kind of unconscious reaction to what they say, i never actually feel anything about it. Because of that, I'm easily capable of accepting people unconditionally. I really couldn't give less of a fuck how people think about things or especially how they feel about things. This includes whether they like me, whether they first thought i was a crackhead or an annoying douchebag when we first met, or if they like something they like, etc. People can feel how they want to feel about things, th…
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Eliza Trotspear - Sat, 16 Mar 2019 11:44:50 EST ID:OfJhx+DI No.528411 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I guess the best way to describe it is definitely that I lack any sense of shame when it comes to anything I don't deem to matter.

Also, I see things in a way that I suppose echoes Christian views, even though I definitely don't really draw my ideas from that. People suck. Not just some, everybody does. We're all pieces of shit, at least from time to time. Doesn't matter how much somebody actively tries to be good or is always shitty, even though I take that into consideration, it doesn't absolve us of anything. We're all disgusting, we're all pathetic, we're all gross, we're all total fucks, we're all biased, we all hurt each other (even without meaning to), we all do fucked up things, we all hate somebody, we all feel all kinds of different ways about things, we all have our personal opinions and beliefs about things. If I am capable of disregarding the beliefs and opinions of some people, why wouldn't I be capable of disregarding the beliefs and opinions of everybody? I choose when I want to regard others opinions, beliefs, and feelings.

It's not that I have some kind of haughty/cocky/arrogant attitude of contemptuous disregard for others or their opinions, a la Awe God's attitude of "fuck everybody else", I just simply don't care or regard what they have to think or say in the first place unless I want to and choose to do so. They aren't me, I'm not them, we all think, believe, and see things differently, and that's not an issue for me; I accept that and am at peace with that fact.
Edward Gockleshaw - Wed, 20 Mar 2019 19:54:21 EST ID:jnas4L6T No.528453 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yeah ive probably slept with about 5 women that if i had like integrity or anything then i wouldnt have

did you ever have a personal issue and think: hey that's a pretty good personal issue by thread portfolio - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 06:28:59 EST ID:MMgFnP4v No.528431 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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if so what was the personal issue
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Hedda Trotham - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 19:05:10 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528439 Ignore Report Quick Reply
is it unethical to be baseline nice to someone who's clearly insecure or unhappy enough to likely develop an unrequited crush on you for it?
Edward Shittingworth - Tue, 19 Mar 2019 15:54:22 EST ID:Lny7/LNo No.528448 Ignore Report Quick Reply
No, but the way you handle said unrequited crush will determine whether you're a piece of shit or not.
Charles Pecklenodge - Tue, 19 Mar 2019 16:56:51 EST ID:VixL4yV0 No.528449 Ignore Report Quick Reply
this is literally me if the roles were reversed

Mental health and anti depressants by Royce Coolage - Sat, 02 Mar 2019 10:56:18 EST ID:0DW75voH No.528264 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So Im 28 and Ive had an inconceivable amount of shit happen in my life over the last few years and now I feel I'm reaching breaking point.

My partner of many years and I had a beautiful daughter born in 2017 but unfortunately when she was born there was no heart beat and we left the hospital with empty arms and completely broken

It was our first child and we were brave enough to decide to try again and fell pregnant last year, had a million and one extra scans, tests, doctors appointments it was all pretty intense

While we were pregnant the second time we were both already in a bit of a fraglie state of mind, we had autopsy results and knew exactly how it happened and knew things would be closely monitored this time

3 months into this pregnancy I was in a road accident mowed down by a car and fucked my arm and shoulder up pretty bad, very low times and poor state of mind, healed now but the memory lingers

It became clearer as the pregnancy progressed that things were going well and we were expecting a beautiful boy this time

7 months into the pregnancy I found out my mum had cancer, they'd missed these massive tumours on scans the year before and now they had found them it was too late to do anything about it

Baby boy delivered and safely with us now since last December, so much joy so many profound feels, so many tears, so much laughter
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Oliver Drillyhood - Sat, 16 Mar 2019 23:15:25 EST ID:/VMtALgL No.528414 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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The first time I tried anti-depressants they helped me save my life. I was a mess, with a lot of stress and disappointment surrounding life events. The wellbutrin kicked me into getting off my ass and taking responsibility for my outlook on life. It helped a ton.

The second time, I was feeling generally depressed 24/7 so I went to the dr and got wellbutrin again, it had been a few years. It triggered psychosis that lasted quite a while. I had anxiety and paranoia through the roof for a few weeks after stopping.

However, my life did significantly improve within 2 months after that 100% of my own self motivation and doing.

So I can only say there is a correlation of me seeking anti-depressants, taking them, and then improving my overall mood and well-being
Ian Fabblebanks - Sun, 17 Mar 2019 08:44:51 EST ID:se6i3Lfx No.528416 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Did I say this already? Don't let anyone but a psychiatrist or maybe a regular doctor give you advice on meds. I think it's valuable to hear from other people about their experiences, but don't let anyone give you advice in one direction or the other. What matters is you feel and what path you take, because as long as you take the path that feels right to you you are taking the right path for you at this time. The problem is you are probably feeling so much at the moment that it's hard to even discern how you feel about the different paths, does that sound right? Anyway, I hope you are doing OK, OP, you have been through so much.
Walter Snodwill - Tue, 19 Mar 2019 03:07:10 EST ID:mX27lD5h No.528445 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I know where you're coming from, feeling pretty alright when someone is eyeing you down when they are attractive and then suddenly someone says something as insignificant as you look tired and it all being a mad spiral down into 3 weeks of deep depression and trying to sleep away all waking hours.

I think I'm losing my mind by Phoebe Bullyfure - Tue, 12 Mar 2019 15:13:20 EST ID:Y2w8xxhJ No.528365 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've always been kind of like this but it's only gotten worse since last year, I'm always feeling nervous and worried that something awful is going to happen, I cant sleep very well, my heart often beats too fast and I feel a pressure in my throat, even spending a little money makes me feel that way because I can't stop thinking I'll lose all of it soon.

It's made much worse by the fact I'm not so straight and despite they being nice, the people in my area love ultra-conservatives and homophobes, it makes me feel I'm being surrounded and threatened all the time, so I never talk about sexuality, quite often I get so angry I feel like punching people to save myself.

I'd like to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist but I'm scared of being locked in the nuthouse or sounding so stupid they won't understand me, give me ideas or something.
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Jack Wicklekut - Fri, 15 Mar 2019 20:27:16 EST ID:ffVpGLbu No.528400 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What you practice is a form of mindfulness that is known as "acceptance and commital" when I did therapy this is the approach my therapist helped me with.

That was definitely one of the things I beat my anxiety with but I recommend hitting it from as many angles as possible. It's very much a problem that exists in your mind so overkill is particularly effective. Understanding what causes it and that you're more scared of the anxiety itself most of the time helps. Realising that what you're afraid of isn't that scary or real a threat helps too. Mindfulness is a good way to bring that together. Sometimes I get the physical effects but I know it's just my body reacting and don't engage.

We can definitely change the way we relate to our emotions. Sometimes it's good to feel something, it reinforces the right behavior. One of the first steps in making your emotions work for you rather than being their slave is realising that they can work for you and you don't have to be their slave.
Betsy Fendlebury - Fri, 15 Mar 2019 23:39:33 EST ID:dJEw/uJZ No.528401 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I wish my therapist brought that up with me, I learned about mindfulness, and separating emotion from thought from the book the power of now by Tolle. Which I consider a great self help book despite what some may say. But I never realized or thought at all that I could use my emotions as a tool instead of just trying to separate myself from them.. You really just made me think... as stupid as that may make me sound... But on my journey of dealing with anxiety, which is ongoing in the present I just haven't realized yet that the end goal is to work with my emotions for good. I've kind of gotten to the point where I'm just trying to separate myself from the negative ones as well as I can and not really put any thought into my emotions other than that.

So what do you mean when you say I can make my emotions work for me?
Jack Wicklekut - Sat, 16 Mar 2019 06:06:48 EST ID:ffVpGLbu No.528406 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What I mean is the idea that you have negative and positive emotions. Simply just chasing those feelings leads to people taking the short term gratitude at the expense of the long term then being stuck in a rut. You can't just kind of ignore negative feelings, you can encourage the positive though.

When you make a good long term decision you can allow yourself to feel extra good. When the rewards start to come in from that short term sacrifice you can explore and fully experience the good feelings that come with it. By doing so you reward long term thinking and your emotions pull you towards better decisions.

I lost 40% of my bodyweight, I remain mindful of my new ease of movement and physical confidence to this day. Getting out of bed and doing a thing rather than being a useless piece of shit all day is not immediately rewarding but later today when my bathroom is cleaner I will feel some comfort in it being fresh and free of mould (it's a cupboard bathroom so it's a real issue in winter), when I studied my vocational course and passed exams I felt good about all the times I'd spent 30 minutes an evening and 2 hours a day at weekends not playing video games and just forcing myself to work on, re read, test myself (the hardest bit tbh) on the knowledge I learned to make it stick.

Forever wizard by Samuel Budgeville - Sat, 23 Feb 2019 22:54:08 EST ID:UpdFegT9 No.528186 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Any advice for a guy who can't get a gf, advice on how to make peace with being forever a spider monkey's butt? im not looking just looking to stop sex needs, i also need to curb the need for a meaningfull, loving relationship
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Priscilla Heddleped - Tue, 12 Mar 2019 01:07:45 EST ID:v1KBCftA No.528356 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have tried bro, didn't work out so far
Awe God !!vVWR8L52 - Wed, 13 Mar 2019 07:45:32 EST ID:qsLoK+yS No.528377 Ignore Report Quick Reply
There's no other way. Even if you get a GF it would only serve to distract you from the fact that you are unhappy with yourself and from doing stuff about it. You'd just think, oh I simply have to improve the relationship in this and that way and then I'll be happy, but what the real benefit lies is in getting comfortable and happy with yourself. IMO
Clara Fanstock - Thu, 14 Mar 2019 17:19:13 EST ID:Lny7/LNo No.528393 Ignore Report Quick Reply
While I agree with the "Become happy with yourself first" guy, I get how that can seem like a pretty impossible option. Especially without someone to serve as an outside source and confirm your credibility as a person.

Honestly? My last romantic attempts were when I was 18, so around 13 years ago. It backfired pretty fucking hard, by the way. Girl was a complete cunt, cost me more money, time and hours of sleep than it was worth. Everything after that was just more of a disaster, I don't think my heart's really in it any more. I've witnessed so many relationships, engagements and marriages fall apart in spectacularly destructive and painful ways that I'm starting to think real negatively about the concept of love. It's just chemicals in your head at this point, easy to replace with intoxication (drugs, I recommend weed but a few tries with shrooms could clear your head out as well), conversation & masturbation.

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