|>> || >>534729 |
I'm not going to try and convince you that what you did by ghosting her was any less right or wrong than you decide it is. There's more than just morally right and morally wrong though, there's a right and a wrong for health, a right and a wrong for you as a person, etc. Maybe it was morally wrong to ghost her, but it sounds like it was right for you as a person and for your mental health to do it. Life doesn't take place in a vacuum of (perfect) civilzation, where we should always be striving to be considerate of and do right by others to help hold up a social contract or improve our social relations with one another. Sometimes there isn't even much of anything resembling society at all depdending on where you live. What's right for you as a person and your overall health are what take priority outside that vacuum of (perfect) civilization. If you haven't been put in a position where you need to make the choice between moral right and wrong and right and wrong for you and your health, you should strive to be morally right, of course.
The istuations with your dad and gf were such that you had to make that decision, and you made your choice. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, and you should try to fix things, but only if it doessn't require you to forego taking care of yourself first. Don't let yourself have the ego of a savior, because that's just choosing to indulge in a fantasy to escape the unpleasant reality that when it comes to saving somebody, you can only save someone at the cost of not saving somebody else. If you're going to try saving your girlfriend, you're not going to be able to save yourself, and she won't be saving you in return. Same is true of your dad, atm. You should always be willing to give somebody a chance, but don't get stuck in the mindset of giving them too many chances because you never learned how many you should be expected to give before it's okay to let go of somebody.
Just try breaking down things into facts. Fact, your now ex gf is toxic enough that she not only hurts herself, but she also hurts you. Fact, that pain she was causing you wasn't worth enduring because what she gave you/the relationship with her was giving you. Fact, if you leave her, she will continue to hurt herself, and she would also continue hurting herself if you stayed. You are already a bit broken, and she's just causing both of you too much pain. Whether she believes it or not, she needs to do the same thing you are and look out for herself so that she can heal and improve. She wasn't doing any of that together with you. Even if this isn't what she wants or feels like she needs, staying with her isn't what you want or need. She is just as capable of healing and improving without you as she currently is with you, so in this case it's best for you to leave. If actually taking the time to say goodbye is either going to prevent you from actually leaving or wind up hurting you worse because she actually does something drastic to try and coerce you into staying, then not saying bye was also for the best.