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Discord Now Fully Linked With 420chan IRC

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!GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST d5kHsYag No.518069
File: 1502640889138.jpg -(66697B / 65.13KB, 500x383) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. #qq on IRC
Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
329 posts and 53 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Rebecca Brookridge - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:44:22 EST Lny7/LNo No.533734 Reply
1582285462213.jpg -(154885B / 151.25KB, 800x450) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
The first epileptic seizure I had sucked, but two days ago I had the second one and now I'm just slowly losing my desire to live. The medication's not helping with these life-hating urges, I'm not suffering from self-harming urges but holy shit I just absolutely loathe my existence. I never should've taken a T-break from cannabis either, the sooner I get my hands on sweet fucking Mary Jane again the better. I'm sobbing from the sheer frustration, if there is a God you can bet your ass I'm going to fucking harm him as much as possible once I've choked Peter at the gate.
>>
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 12:07:49 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533758 Reply
>>533734
Epilepsy can come from a variety of causes and many are very controllable. My half sister had the same thing happen around 17 so she finished school and took a couple of years to deal with it (and also to grow up as a person) but she's got that shit under control now. The medication, changes to her diet and shit work just fine and she just needed that time to get used to fitting that around her life.

Don't worry about death, make the most of life. Right now that means tidying up the mess and limiting the damage this bullshit does. You've had a second seizure so I'm guessing you have no idea what it is and are assuming the worst, this is all new and alarming no doubt and it's totally normal to react like this. But it might genuinely be okay.
>>
Cornelius Hangerhit - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 06:31:39 EST Lny7/LNo No.533766 Reply
1582543899963.jpg -(800249B / 781.49KB, 3024x4032) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>533758
Thanks for the positive words. A lot has happened since that post as I explained on /weed/.
https://boards.420chan.org/weed/thread/4933087#i4934833

I'm going to have a honest and open conversation with my neurologist about this, and hope she understands. I'm completely willing to switch to 100% vaping (the hospital she works at is pretty anti-smoking in general lol) if they're willing to put me on a Bedrocan prescription.

I post here like once a year

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- Tue, 25 Feb 2020 15:21:15 EST 8J4P3qg4 No.533777
File: 1582662075835.jpg -(46765B / 45.67KB, 720x719) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I post here like once a year
and my life still isnt getting better. I listened and started working full time and stopped spending my whole day on my ass. I work full time now in the cannabis industry (almost a dream job of mine) and its alright. I still dont have any friends as they all kind of drifted off and the only ones left are degenerates who will get me arrested by their presence.

I still havent spoken to my father. Almost at the 2 year mark now. I saw a picture of him travelling in Brazil with his hot 23 year old wife with all his friends living the fucking dream while he completely stopped talking to me and my enthusiastic sister. Its destroyed us both immensely as well as the rest of the family. He just pretends like he never had kids he raised and lived with for 25 fucking years while shooting up his testosterone every day.

I havent spoken to my ex (friends since we were 13 years old, dated for 6 years out of hs) in a full year now. She probably thinks I killed myself or something. Not even a peep from her after she decided to stop seeing me since she would cheat on her current spouse with me every time we saw each other.

my best friend (who frequented 420chan) killed himself last year as well and me and a mutual friend still keep in contact frequently but were stagnating and find ourselves not really improving. my entire life fell apart and I did so many things to try and better myself. I quit hard drugs, I started exercising, I started working full time. I even started talking to my mom again. I still want to fucking die man.

I know I could've been handed a much worse hand at life but this still doesnt make my problem any less significant. I dont have any family support anymore besides my mom really. they all kind of just wrote me off as a deadbeat faggot and want nothing to do with me. all my cousins pretend to love me at family gatherings but ignore any attempt to reach out to them. my family on my moms side all stopped as well.

I for real feel like my depression has deflected away my entire life. I havent done anything to wrong these people besides be depressed over my life situations. I dont know, I'm almost positive I will die at age 28 like every other degenerate before me. I dont have anyone to live for really but my one friend and what little family I do have. my dad wouldnt blink twice if I offed myself as the only attempt to reach out to me was a shitty walmart birthday card with no hand written message or gift back in November of 2018. I havent even delved into the emotional abuse that I endured from my fathers gf before we fell out. As well as the emotional abuse my grandma and her caretaker put upon me by throwing away my possessions for no reason and doing little things to drive me slowly insane. basically trying to incite a reaction out of me. I havent reacted once and just record all of their antics. I feel like the world wants me to kill myself. the amount of mean fucking people who put me down or steal from me to try and incite some sort of reaction is just unbearable. its like fucking torture and I fantasize some dark shit on what I would do to that caretaker.

why kick someone when they are down? what do people get from this? Im so jaded at this point. just typing this is frustrating because I cant even gather my thoughts coherently or type out all of these issues that would make sense. theres just such an overwhelming amount of abuse and sadness that I dont know where to begin but to try and just start over.

im not asking for advice, my life has chosen its course it seems unless some crazy significant change falls on my lap.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Cyril Bidgeridge - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 18:20:20 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533779 Reply
>>533778
Yeah the old it's worse than most but not as bad as it can be, it's okay to be miserable and know your shitty life stems from bad breaks but only you can change it. When you have been dealt a shitty hand you normalise bad things and end up making bad choices and gravitating to bad people. Those people then pull you down. You've probably made bad decisions but as a result of the mess life has made of you. Things that aren't really something you should feel bad about but could have done differently in hindsight if that makes sense.

You are alone but you have a job and and as far as I can tell no baggage. Cut that last toxic influence and you are free. You may need to get therapy and find yourself once you've gotten out of your shitty living situation.

Figure out the things you won't tolerate and walk away from people who deliver it. People fuck up but the good ones at least try. Figure out what you want, find a new hobby or two and go to new places/events to meet new people, the sort of people you haven't encountered before.

You have a long road ahead of you but there is a route and hope. Struggle until you die. You WILL die so you might as well try to eke as much as you can out of life. Eventually it'll be over forever anyway so eventually it will end. No point in rushing it while you still have moves you can make. And you have moves left to make.
>>
Ian Faddlefuck - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 20:58:18 EST PvHdIrXb No.533780 Reply
>>533777

Damn dude, despite all the trash you've been put through it looks like you've managed to salvage something out of it, which is more than a lot of other people have done. You definitely need some sort of professional help though, and probably antidepressants. Nothing will completely take away the trauma you've gone through, it's marked you for life. But there's still good times ahead, no matter how fleeting they may seem. Even though you want to die, you're doing good, you appear to be on an upswing, a small one but an upswing nonetheless.

One small bit about antidepressants, you'll almost never get one that works on the first try. It's usually a process of slogging through drugs that make you want to kill yourself more than ever until you find one that will balance things out and do what its meant to do. And take them on time, all the time. You will regret it if you don't.
>>
Graham Drindlechotch - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 23:51:27 EST 24/v4gDy No.533781 Reply
You've done really well so far my friend. I'm proud of you.

I hope you dont kill yourself at least for your sister's sake. You've put some pieces into place. It seems like all you are missing is human connection.

Obviously that will be difficult for you, with your family being terrible influences. You really cant let them be the main example of how people interact with you though. They are shitty people who could never give you what you need. Let them go and give yourself a chance to form new bonds and find new ways to be around people.

If you dont kill yourself, you're going to live a long life. That's the irony but also the blessing. I look back to my 28 year old self and gawk at how naive I was and how life has changed so fast and so gradually at the same time. Lives are so long and memories are so flawed that humans inevitably change, even in spite of their childhoods, because of how long the whole thing is and all the shit we have to go through.

All you have to do is take the smallest step towards change every day. Life is already hard. What is a few minutes of embarrassment to you who has been through so much?

Struggling to have interests

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- Sun, 23 Feb 2020 01:59:11 EST MLUXGZI9 No.533749
File: 1582441151220.png -(326395B / 318.75KB, 534x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Struggling to have interests
I used to play guitar regularly. I used to actively study computers. I used to watch anime and what not. Now, I just watch the same three YouTubers, play GTA Online on and off, maybe a different game here or there, and just do whatever my gf wants to do. Kinda just feel like I exist and don't really live for myself. I know that isn't my gf's fault. She isn't really forcing me to be with her or do what she wants. I just don't have any motivation to persue my hobbies. I also don't really have any other friends. It's hard. How do I get out of this nothingness cycle?
9 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hugh Cruzzlehall - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 00:18:51 EST TVjit2tT No.533774 Reply
>>533769
Well I stopped enjoying doing music so I had 5 grand of music gear sitting and collecting dust so I offloaded it because it got the point where I played so little that I'd become angry when I did play because my skills had become rusty. It just annoyed me at best so I got rid of that shit and bought a decent used car.

Man, not to sound preachy or whatever but I've tried just about all of it. Except love. I don't like people touching me. I've tried the therapy, the drugs, the anti-psychotic cocktails, illegal drugs, hobbies, art, working, saving money, being a materialistic fuck, being a hedonistic fuck, traveling, etc. I've burnt out on life, there isn't much more to do really. What point is it if you don't enjoy any of that shit, the drugs (legal ones) don't work, and you just exist to work at a job?

>Yeah I got a miserable life, but nothing pulls me out of that misery. I've tried all the conventional wisdom, the weird shit, and the pharmacopoeia. Some people are just broken dude.
>>
Eugene Grandshit - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 07:29:14 EST iWXEys/U No.533775 Reply
>>533774
Yeah if you're this hell-bent on being miserable literally no life experience will convince you life is worth living. You have to decide that it is. It's a choice you make. You're expecting that you'll eventually hit on the right place or the right time or the right set of circumstances that will make you happy, whereas you have to be happy first, then you will enjoy these experiences. You've wasted your time.
>>
Ernest Hattingchack - Tue, 25 Feb 2020 15:18:24 EST mttQWkrO No.533776 Reply
If you want to look at it through the lens of mental illness, lack of motivation is more of a sign of anhedonia associated with depression than ADD/ADHD, attention issues are characterized more by a strong desire to complete many tasks but an inability to focus on them.

For depressive episodes where anhedonia is a marked feature or the most prominent symptom, non-SSRI antidepressants like buproprion and venlafaxine are indicated. I've taken buproprion 300mg XR for the past year and I can't tell you the night and day difference it made in my ability both to focus and find joy in my studies.

Stimulant medications will definitely help you (buproprion could even technically be considered one), but are much more likely to lead to dependence, since as opposed to ADD which is actually caused by a slower functioning of frontal cortex, your issue has more to do with mood, and the reinforcing effects of stimulants are likely to be much stronger

i've made a terrible mistake

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- Fri, 21 Feb 2020 00:50:40 EST mttQWkrO No.533731
File: 1582264240326.jpg -(53943B / 52.68KB, 696x392) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i've made a terrible mistake
i had been living with this shit for years and wrote it down to paying the piper for all my drug use and thought was almost neat, since it'll form patterns and sometimes delirious scenes like I'm looking at something in between my minds eye and my real eyes (idk how else to explain it)

now for some reason it just hit me last night holy shit this is actually annoying as shit and I can't stop seeing it now

my eyes are all sorts of fucked up, blurry because my pupils are always at least somewhat dilated because of medications and harder drugs, terrible accommodation, transient diplopia, near and far-sighted, floaters, constant distortions in space, tearing, patterns, flashes of light, black dots, shadow figures, and this god damn mother fucking snow, gets a million times worse whenever I do any drug, even caffeine, let alone harder stims, weed, psychs, and dissociatives

prognosis doesn't look good either from what I've seen, i wish i could go back to thinking it was kind of cool and like "I was always tripping"

How much of this can be exacerbated by mental illness too? I have bipolar I and when I'm manic it gets about like it does when I'm on amph, or a little less, but there's a stronger element of psychosis, more shadows and lights, and they genuinely scare me sometimes like I forget what's happening for a split second, and occasionally full scenes when I close my eyes, like I'm looking at a picture
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Walter Grandfield - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:11:09 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533770 Reply
>>533748
That was also the first thing I thought, a lot of those aren't hallucinations, they're just really common things that happen in everyone's vision.
>>
Walter Grandfield - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:13:30 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533771 Reply
>>533770
I mean that they might be hallucinations, but they'd be the equivalent of hallucinating an extra leaf on a clover for a second, or reading the wrong name on a street sign. Benign things that happen to everyone I mean.
>>
Rebecca Wogglestutch - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 18:24:06 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533772 Reply
>>533748
You got this from drugs but it sounds like you're still doing them despite them causing you this problem.

The no fun answer here but I found not doing most drugs helps. Look after yourself and don't do drugs for a while and it fades. I got some mild HPPD but it faded if I didn't do psychedelics for a while. It would still return if I was tired or smoked weed but in time even that's become extremely mild and occasional and only extreme circumstances. Your brain does learn to filter out noise, it's a system which recalibrates itself.

I mean in time maybe you can even resume using some of those drugs very very occasionally but wait till you're healed. Also if you're high a lot the same way your brain gets used to sobriety and repairs if you're sober, it will also calibrate itself for your fucked up state and as a polydrug user if you're bouncing between highs that's going to get fucked fast. Especially if it doesn't work that well to start with.

So OP, the answer is be sober and take care of yourself for a few months and it'll improve. Deal with your mental illness, look after your body and after a few more months you'll find it recedes more and more. Don't just resume taking everything the moment the symptoms stop getting worse though. Go until you they are all but done before thinking about doing drugs again. If you fractured your shin you wouldn't resume playing soccer until you were sure it was fully healed.

Shit

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- Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:22:21 EST EtHPqQfW No.533728
File: 1582251741431.jpg -(287860B / 281.11KB, 1280x902) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Shit
>grow up in small suburban community, everyone knows everyone, I’m 3rd generation, my grandma moved here when she was 14 and my father spent his entire life here
>literally everyone knows me and my family growing up. My dad was somewhat of a local celebrity due to being a professional athlete
>by the time I graduate high school everyone knows me and either loves me or hates me
>some shit goes down, my best friend kills himself, I leave for good and never look back

It’s been a decade. My parents have moved. Everyone has moved. They tore down the highschool right after I graduated and built a new one that’s one of the best in the state. The price of housing went way up, and everyone’s family sold their house and moved out. The size of the town has tripled, and all of the old school white trash culture that made the town unique is completely gone. None of the interesting characters are around town anymore, they’ve all been replaced with 6 figure white collar turtleneck families, sneering down at you.

I very rarely come out here but I was passing through today and I stopped at qdoba for supper (something new) and I looked around. All these upper middle class people sneering down, I did not fit in at all. There was a point in time that I was the epitome of someone from this town, but it’s changed so much that I stick out like a sore thumb. These new families are fucking terrible. I feel like an outsider in my own home.

Is this what it’s like to no longer have a home, to be free to the world?
>>
Ebenezer Turveyshaw - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 23:47:12 EST XMSqYA1M No.533730 Reply
1582260432098.jpg -(15737B / 15.37KB, 400x273) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>533728
You should seriously consider watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. There are a lot of themes that will help you explore what you're going through exactly.

Sometimes it just helps to have something to relate to for perspective.
>>
Cornelius Tillingcocke - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:03:04 EST EtHPqQfW No.533733 Reply
>>533730
Thanks, I had a roommate who had the Japanese only n64 game, I’ll have to check it out
>>
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 13:36:53 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533762 Reply
I have moved a bit in childhood and know this feeling. I am not sure I have a home I'd want to return to. Eventually you find somewhere new to call your own. It's a bit weird when someone asks you where you're from and you say "I dunno" but it's not that weird. I guess it's odd when your friends are spending time with family and old friends and you're alone. It's hard. You have to work twice as hard to have a full life. But it's doable.


>>533730
>digging up an old meme in 2020

Might work. Might be hot air and stupidity. Shinji is a bitch and I am talking about how he dealt with his life pre robot. It annoyed me. Couldn't sympathise because I related too much and hated how he dealt. My housemates were much more into anime than me anyway.

obsession???

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- Sat, 22 Feb 2020 02:45:00 EST cKRZ+1Ex No.533743
File: 1582357500966.jpg -(90881B / 88.75KB, 379x323) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. obsession???
So I need some advice on what to do here. I've been very obsessed with the same person for almost four years now. Not romantically or sexually, but sort of in an adoration kind of way. Literally everything I think about in my mind is about her. My daydreams, my art, the shit I say is all tied to her. I only see her once a week (max) and sometimes I go months without seeing her, but every second of every day she is in my mind, and I'm not even exaggerating. I think she has just become a part of my thinking process at this point. Like whenever I have conversations or do anything really, I simultaneously imagine that I am filming my life and my actions for some documentary kind of movie that she will eventually watch, so every action I do I think about how she might react or think of me if she saw me doing it. My actions are shaped around her, my life literally revolves around this person even if I barely see her. Anytime I see her I am absolutely desperate for her attention, but I don't make it seem like it and act very stand-offish and not super talkative. She has taken a liking to me, which I am extremely happy about and she tells me she thinks I am a very interesting person. She even went as far as to send me a long letter when I went to rehab about how she thinks about me a lot and hopes I am doing well and that she sees so much in me.

She is always in my dreams ssince I think about her constantly throughout the day, and I don't know I just think of her all the time. I think this comes from the fact that I was, at one time, really struggling in life and she was the only person to sit me down and tell me she knew I wasn't okay and that she wanted to help me. This is the first time anyone had ever said that to me and it is legitimately what I had been craving my whole life. Since then I just cannot stop thinking about her and wanting to get close to her. I have looked this up online, but the only things I find are people extremely sexually/romantically attracted to the person they're obsessing over, and I'm not. I see her more as a caretaker/authority figure than anything.

Last week I tripped out and realized that I was literally only living for this person, and that if she disappeared from my mind none of my actions would have meaning, and it's true. It is so depressing to me that she will never think as much of me as I think of her, and that I am just a part of her life while she is literally my whole life.

I can tell this isnt healthy but I also dont know if I want to get rid of this obsession because I genuinely do enjoy thinking about her all the time, but I just feel like it takes over my brain a lot of the time and like I'm a fake person. None of my actions are authentic. Like the expression "dance like no one's watching" doesn't make sense to me anymore because I can't do anything (even on my own, alone) without feeling like she is watching me through a screen and I just want to impress her and make her like me.

Like seriously I need help. Does anybody have this problem?? I just want advice...
>>
Angus Nobbertotch - Sat, 22 Feb 2020 08:38:13 EST +rYLvVZR No.533745 Reply
It's much easier to feel those feelings for the star of the reality show in your mind than to actually negotiate and navigate a relationship with a live person. It's comfortable to not have to actually make someone happy, all you have to do is create something and she loves it every time. You've created a source in your mind to massage you continually with unconditional positive regard. Watch Cool World.
>>
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 12:17:55 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533761 Reply
>>533743
This has happened because you haven't got anything better to do with your time and attention so start by fixing that.

As Angus said, the reality would be a letdown. One day you may discover that. If that happens before you have other things to live for consider that death is inevitable so you might as well try to find something good to do with your much scarcer more limited life. If it doesn't work you die anyway, if it does, hooray, had fun.

But ideally move on with your life now

Does this make me a complete asshole

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- Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:56:53 EST EtHPqQfW No.533703
File: 1582149413981.jpg -(135416B / 132.24KB, 750x719) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Does this make me a complete asshole
I lived with this guy for 3 years. I moved out a few years back and I recently heard he tried to kill himself. He keeps talking about how miserable he is. He tried to do it when this girl dumped him. Frankly I think it’s all bullshit and he should have just fucking done it.

>sits around watching news all day
>yells about politics constantly; huge communist
>literally all he cares about is communism
>hates everyone who isn’t super far leftist
>never smoke or drank in his life; looks down on people who do
>adopted this stupid dog that’s like 200 pounds and violent to seem more liberal “I rescued him”
>now his girlfriend dumped him because he tried to an hero
>trying to get a studio w dog that’s bigger than him
>has this really shitty entitled attitude that a landlord should just give him an apartment and hold it for him until he has the money
>polsci major
>bitches and whines about how exhausting his fmla approved therapy sessions are, month off work “it’s so exhausting”

Honestly I think the suicide attempt is completely bullshit and just a cry for attention. I get legitimately angry when I think about how stupid this person is. I’ve known people who killed them selves and this seems like just a big cry for attention.

Am I onto something or am I just a dickhead?
14 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hedda Grimford - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:38:10 EST VMzmKgcf No.533751 Reply
>>533703
>>533703
>>533703
bro i'm gonna drop a wokeness pill on you but people cling to things in order to find a fulfillment in their lives that they otherwise lack. the reason extreme leftists act the way they do is not because of any set of rules or belief system, but rather a neurotic attachment to such things. in their heads they have a pathological idealism that lets them believe (aka lie to themselves), to a great or lesser degree, they are a literal hero fighting against pure evil. it is an emotionally compelling worldview that is reinforced by the culture and information that is put out there, as well
you see the same thing with vegans, FRUITARIANS, climate change activists, far right people, anti racists.. just about anything but those are big ones. they make a religion of sorts out of it, but the big fat truth is that when you substitute your real personal life for a "cause," you're actually just a fucking loser and there is an instinct to cling onto something that gives you powerful feelings, which becomes true for you. the only exception to giving yourself to a cause is if you're a TALENTED content creator, which actually means that you're of far higher quality and are able to influence people, but your homeboy is in a bad, pathetic place. he should give up politics for awhile, try to lift some weights, go for walks outside, get some sunshine, eat lots of red meat and eggs, etc etc. but right now he is poisoning himself. the correct answer is to stop doing that and nourish yourself instead. there is absolutely nothing good about being toxic like that, nothing noble or correct at all.

also the first thing i thought was damn you lived with that for 3 years?

>>533709
>10 day fast
HOLY SHIT I WAS THE ORIGINAL GUY WHO PREACHED THE 10 DAY FAST ON THIS WEBSITE
FUCK DUDE WHAT IS UP??????
anyway in case the op is wondering i think i starved out my candida and cured a lot of depression. but i am NOT recommending a 10 day fast so please do not ban me mods. i'm just sharing my experience since it was mentioned and we're talking about mental health. i'd probably be dead right now if i didn't do that fast, came to me just at the right time
>>
George Sussleshit - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:41:35 EST eGS6zz6/ No.533752 Reply
>>533703
Your roommate doesnt actually bother you because its made of straws.
>>
Isabella Fanville - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 08:09:52 EST dT9flf4/ No.533757 Reply
>>533751

>the reason extreme leftists act the way they do is not because of any set of rules or belief system, but rather a neurotic attachment to such things. in their heads they have a pathological idealism that lets them believe (aka lie to themselves), to a great or lesser degree, they are a literal hero fighting against pure evil.

Or maybe people in general get really heated about politics because it's super important? I mean you're probably not wrong that this guy clings to it more than your average person because he has nothing going for him, but people in general are pretty passionate about politics

>but the big fat truth is that when you substitute your real personal life for a "cause," you're actually just a fucking loser

This is actually retarded

CULT DISGUISED AS A HOMELESS SHELTER

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- Thu, 06 Feb 2020 03:53:00 EST 7cGpsW87 No.533489
File: 1580979180911.jpg -(40643B / 39.69KB, 350x355) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. CULT DISGUISED AS A HOMELESS SHELTER
okay, firstly, I want you all to know this place is well on its way to being found out and shutdown by the local federal judge here in Hawaii, so no worries but I need to write about this.


For starters,
>I just reunited with my long absent father after 19 years growing up entirely without him in my life.
>I am a free american citizen and not on probation or drug addicted or in any sort of trouble binding me to be a part of some program or any sort of rehabilitation housing or halfway house or anything like that,
> I just got off the plane ✈️ in Hawaii to see him
> was picked up by this van with my dad in a wheelchair inside who is however legally bound to this weird place I was told is happy to take me in and help us out for a bit

If you check the google reviews of their ex location in Washington you may find;
> they were SHUT DOWN by Child Protective Services and have been labelled a CULT by more than five families.
>This lady who runs the place is called “Mom” by all the crony grown adults working here for her,
>they soon are telling me Church is Mandatory in this place
>every Sunday and Wednesday, however everyone rooming with me said that’s odd because none of them were told that and it wasn't until my blatant resentment for psychotic religious types was being expressed that they made this decision,
>even though apparently this was the norm in their Washington location and it was shutdown.

Now, not only is Their specific “”Church”” in the building Mandatory but also reading Proverbs downstairs every morning at 7am is now mandatory.
>They play whacky LOUD christian music every Sunday and Wednesday that can be heard even down the street while dancing around waving their hands like maniacs in the movie Midsommar and wearing purple capes as one lady bows down in front of her husband who is the son of this “”mom”” lady etc.

and hey, TO EACH THEIR OWN, I dont mind whoever believing whatever.

But, in America, which Hawaii very much still is a part of, I as a citizen have the right to freedom of religion and expression and freedom of choice. I understand in a privately owned or run business they make the rules, but my dad has a FEDERAL probation officer on our side and has actually been getting a kick out of all this knowing they are truly digging their own grave by how they run this place.

Apparently the federal Judge here recently asked her, in Court, “Does Faith house REQUIRE or Force people to attend or perform religion practices?” the answer “Not to any of My clients...”” and the judge responded “Good... because I absolutely forbid that and anything like that...”

Now, when she said not any of My clients she is referring to the fact Federal convicts here are required under Federal order to stay there after release from jail and therefore can stay regardless of anything they do or dont do here as far as their house “”rules”” go.

But Me, who is just moved here to reunite with my dad, am not under any probation or federal requirements or programs or anything like that to be here and am just a free US citizen trying to stay with my dad while we get our own place and were waiting on his check to come in.
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Betsy Mockleletch - Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:32:42 EST 1OmC/vbR No.533618 Reply
>>533617
Nah bruh see because I’ve already read up on the cycles and stages people go through in life and am well aware the stage all these other guys are at when they need prison or the army or a job or the government or anything like that for the sake of being in a set way of living or thinking when they can’t manage themselves on their own.

That ain’t me. That’s why I show all this resistance to the program and they wanna try making an example out of me, to show they can really do what they say and “change” people.

>>533616
That shelter you’re suggesting I just go on over to is even worse in the sense that I’d have to be out by 7am every day and back in by 7pm, it’s got no showers and I’d be given a matt for the cold hard floor of their dining room that during the night is made into a sleeping room with mindless drug addled even more gross lowlifes. Here I have a decently kept group-home with at least the freedom to leave and go during the day, even if it comes with lots of hoops and tricks surrounding all that. I’m getting hooked up with a job at Bed, Bath & Beyond while I focus on getting myself my own Bed/Bath/Etc. in the meantime, while surely going to land other jobs this next couple weeks as I rarely have trouble finding work once I set my mind to it. Which, of course, being in a place like this has certainly gotten me to do.

>>533612
I’ll find a way to make them pay, one way or another, I will have my vengeance, even if I gotta wait until I get my shit from Oregon shipped over here and gotta use my custom nearly 200$ Handfrafted wooden Ouija board infused and enchanted by an elder Pagan to sell a piece of my soul and summon Andras or some other demonic forces to ruin this place. Fuck it. Either I go THAT route or I use my own wrath to teepee the fuck out this place and prank them endlessly lol.

P.S. one of their weirdo creeper spy-guys who always lurked around listening to conversations for them has called it quits and dipped out unexpectedly, went and crashed with some chick at tent city. Even their cronies get sick of this madhouse.
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Betsy Mockleletch - Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:48:31 EST 1OmC/vbR No.533619 Reply
1581752911283.jpg -(741673B / 724.29KB, 2048x2048) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>533500
Ditto my dude, 31/34 qualities of a cult they in fact have here
about a B+ maybe even an A- if we’re grading this place on being a fully active cult.

So, yeah, that about covers everything for now, aside from a handful of other showings of their insanity. I got off a fucking plane and picked up in a van unwittingly by a fucking cult full of lies and untrained wannabe “apostles and prophets” who essentially know jackshit about running an operation like this and generally force their views onto anyone and everyone here, to a point this place might as well be their containment zone because their fucking “preacher” was too busy getting kicked out of Malls before this

Absolute Fucking Madhouse i tell ya. Just needed to get all this written down for my own sanity and be able to backtrack all this shit if I need to.
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Albert Brollysut - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:46:42 EST EFXmbFdY No.533753 Reply
https://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/article26268601.html

that’s an article my buddy found for me of the newspaper article from the week this lady running this place got found out by Child Protective Services and shutdown after being reported for abuse and neglect as well as being understaffed and not properly trained or having valid backgrounds to allow them the authoritative positions they somehow managed to obtain.

Btw, some dude here woke up covered in bug bites and nights prior swiped a roach off his torso that was crawling across while he lay in bed. This place is a nightmare all the while tomorrow being Sunday we all STILL have to wake up for their Mandatory Church goings if we wanna have a roof over our heads, because all these fucks care about is forcing religion onto everything they do while collecting money from all inhabitants living here.

Meanwhile, a fucking samoan gang has their part in staying here and couldn’t give a shit less as they give me dirty looks knowing I have this place on my fucking radar and am fully smart enough to get it reported and closed the fuck down. Fuck your lazy ass gang needing this place to stay at for cheap. I’ve had a shelter in Bend, OR. get demolished by the state Senator after every worker there was fired and a new bigger better shelter built on the place’s fucking ruins in 2018. I could give a fuck less if these fucks end up in the struggle if it means getting this corrupt place out of business. I just gotta be smart about it, my buddy worries for my safety hearing all this shit.

Anyways, tomorrow at the weekly “house meeting” Im addressing the fact these people normalize insects all over the house to a detrimental degree, so much so that you’ve got several roach sightings and other bugs even in the kitchen and restrooms and living room as well as in kitchen cabinets IN the cups kept inside there at times, and if they dont plan on stepping it up then fuck ‘em, I’ll be well on my way to getting this place reported for neglect and abuse of power and they can get shut the fuck down like any other endeavors they’ve tried in the past.

I want my family gone

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- Sat, 15 Feb 2020 08:40:47 EST /mNuya2g No.533626
File: 1581774047297.jpg -(156073B / 152.42KB, 418x287) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I want my family gone
You know what really pisses me off?

When I express my hatred for my family and there's a bunch of people going "B-BUT FAMILY IS EVERYTHING DDDD" or "B-BUT YOU ONLY GET 2 PARENTS AND YOU SHOULD TREASURE THEM IF YOU STILL HAVE THEM DDDD"

Like, shut the fucking fuck up. You have no idea what my family is like; they're annoying and my life is infinitely better without them. For the last couple of years I have only pretended to be nice to them so they would send me money from time to time, but now that they've cut off all financial support I have cut them out of my life. I still live with them which really sucks (I had moved out previously but had to move back) but I don't talk to them unless absolutely necessary.

You see, my father kept discouraging literally everything I wanted to do. I hate myself for listening, I didn't realise how disconnect my parents were with the current world until recently. Their advice has constantly set me back; I wanted to pursue music, my father told me not to because there's no money and instead sent me to computer school, where during the 3rd semester I simply stopped showing up because I hated it so much. I even had to pay for the tuition all by myself. This was the first time I ever defied him, and how I wish I had done it earlier.

My father never had fun his whole life. He's a miserable fuck. He spends all his money on overpriced furniture (to make it look like he has money, what a fucking emasculated joke) and yells at my mom when there's a minor inconvenience in his life. He acts like he's better than everyone else even though he has no friends or social life whatsoever. His life is go to work, come home, yell at my mom about how there's no food to eat, watch TV and sleep. But the thing that disgusts me the most about him is that he actually praises his lifestyle and wanted me to be just like him. He was against any and all fun I tried having as a kid, hating the very concept of 'fun' believing it to be a waste of time. The way he introduced life to me was basically "Hey it's cool that you're born and all, but there's no pleasure in being alive so you might as well just kill yourself now." and I still have this fucking mentality today. It is so difficult for me to have fun now because in the back of my mind I can hear my father screaming about time being wasted. I hate this.

I feel as though the only reason he married my mother was that so that somebody could cook for him. There's no love in their relationship, and this is the shit I grew up with. I have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.

My mother is just annoying. Everything she says is either cringe or just makes me uncomfortable. She talks way too fucking much about nothing and I can't take it.

The rest of my family is also pretty annoying and I have many memories of my sister taking her anxiety out on me, consequently giving me anxiety. I can't wait to be independent again because when I am I plan to never say another word to any of them ever again. I won't even go to their funerals.

Anybody can relate?
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Priscilla Sosslemidge - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:54:41 EST 1GSL4sLX No.533736 Reply
>>533700
Lmao ask any number of underage family annihilators, it's way easier to live on the streets than in prison. You think it stops when they're dead, it doesn't. You don't get to move on either.
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mon - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 10:16:13 EST NwTq1OSB No.533737 Reply
>>533626
> My mother is just annoying. Everything she says is either cringe or just makes me uncomfortable. She talks way too fucking much about nothing and I can't take it.

dude get a fucking grip

Eviction

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- Sun, 16 Feb 2020 21:38:15 EST rxDf9oTy No.533663
File: 1581907095468.jpg -(135011B / 131.85KB, 600x616) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Eviction
Does anybody have experience with this?

>live in apartment with roommate
>roommate goes psycho on a combination of Xanax, adderal, and anti deppresants, starts physical fights
>I kick his ass and move out
>keep paying rent because I don’t wanna fuck myself over
>lease goes until may 1st
>my landlord is trying to rent the place out early and charge me for rent until may

Some have told me that if I stop paying I’m gonna get fucked over and evicted, others have told me nothing will happen. I planned on paying for March, but if I don’t pay for April will I get fucked?
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Phoebe Biddlelock - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 07:19:30 EST 5iXaUCHT No.533668 Reply
If you have signed a contract to pay money then you have to pay it. This is what happens when you can't live with people. Pay until May or take him to court. Don't just decide to not pay.
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Basil Wannerpun - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:15:35 EST R6I578yU No.533727 Reply
Have you spoke with the landlord about finding someone to buy out your lease? He can't double dip and rent it out while collecting rent from you. If what you say is true, contact a lawyer for a free consult and pay $100 to have him send a legal letter expressing this.

BWQQ : bump when QQ

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- Fri, 17 May 2019 02:16:59 EST cSntlhQ8 No.529418
File: 1558073819757.jpg -(90830B / 88.70KB, 750x739) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. BWQQ : bump when QQ
I searched 5 pages back. Does this board get a bump thread? just vent about feelings and emotions here.

My heroin addict neighbor has been being a bitch to me lately. I can't cuss her out while talking to her, but she has been yelling at me and freaking out. So I'm gonna talk smack about her here. Sorry if this is shit posting.

holy fuck speak of the devil. shes texting me now. i did not even read what she wrote. im gonna delete it. fuck this psycho bitch. she is causing me so much stress. I hope I'm making a thread correctly.
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William Turveyhall - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 13:22:07 EST Kl70s1ZP No.533677 Reply
>>533610
You should try to talk with her about what you're feeling.
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Edward Greencocke - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 20:17:11 EST IxlvGatj No.533726 Reply
Saw my therapist for the third time today. I really opened up to him about my issues and how I feel right now about everything I've been through; the beatings I took from my brother when i was growing up. He gave me some good and solid advice about how to express myself such as write in a journal daily about how I'm feeling and overall where I'm at in my life. Also, with this journal he told me to reflect on myself and write all my thoughts down.

Overall hes able to help me now because I opened up to him about everything I'm dealing with at the moment. I feel really good right now for the first time in 2 months since I've been going through a manic episode. I actually feel normal for once.

No matter how long it takes I will heal and move on with my life and I will become successful in life and live a good quality and fulfilling life. I'm leaving my brother behind in the dust. Hes not worth anything to me anymore. I'm going to live in the present and never look back into the past. I'm totally detached from my brother now and I have nothing to do with him now and I will not have anything to do with him. Im done with him and that's how it has to be for my sake.

Anxiety

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- Tue, 11 Feb 2020 17:16:22 EST vgf0tTGM No.533575
File: 1581459382179.jpg -(3558933B / 3.39MB, 3024x4032) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anxiety
Does this look serious? Also, what the hell os it? I’m very stressed out over this. Will my house collapse one day? Would this be costly to fix?
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Scourgeofthewest - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 03:06:32 EST uOIe1FXH No.533712 Reply
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Is my house on fire? It's getting really hot and hard to breathe. I've been coughing a lot. It's been really stressing me out the past few minutes. I ordered a pizza 20 minutes ago and I already paid for it.
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Diddle Maroki Baboki - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 08:43:48 EST gFDxoYPM No.533717 Reply
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>>533712
Stop. No spam. No memes. Real issues only. There are rules here.
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Hugh Brorrygold - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 09:39:20 EST bgNsrXdi No.533718 Reply
>>533710
>helpfulandy posts photo of bottle
>front of bottle explains precisely what it does
>4chins reject: "what does it dooooo?"
What kind of troll is it when you pretend to be a moron and you're an actual moron but you can say you're pretending... Like what you're doing, what validation do you get from this?

whoa this site is a shell of it's former self

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- Wed, 19 Feb 2020 18:51:54 EST GmZKdiP6 No.533706
File: 1582156314495.jpg -(267292B / 261.03KB, 1080x1204) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. whoa this site is a shell of it's former self
I can't believe you guys got rid of the /sh/enanigans board. I used to post my acts of vandalism on there and you all shunned me. Now look at you- mid 30s waste of life stoners... meanwhile I am still vandalizing as both a hobby, and a career.

You need a brick thrown through a window? $30CAD.
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Esther Sungerwark - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 07:20:50 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533716 Reply
Guess this board doesn't have any mods either.
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Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:11:15 EST VAcauGzm No.533722 Reply
>>533716
>420chan in 2020
>having more than .5 mod actions per day
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Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:11:15 EST VAcauGzm No.533723 Reply
>>533716
>420chan in 2020
>having more than .5 mod actions per day

Girl At Work

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- Sat, 15 Feb 2020 12:22:06 EST R6I578yU No.533631
File: 1581787326561.png -(424378B / 414.43KB, 540x524) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Girl At Work
So a new girl started at work about a month 1/2 ago. I didn't really speak with her much at all during the first week or so she was in training. Well eventually we started working closer together and got to know eachother.

I would flirt lightly with her, say she looked cute, tease her, etc. She seemed to enjoy it for the most part. I'd ask her leading questions i.e. "Do you live with anyone?" "Doing anything this weekend" and she always seemed to pause but answer with No, or "oh maybe my Mom".

I guess I'm in sort of a leadership role at work, but me and her are on the same level as far as hierarchy at work goes.

More and more it seems like she enjoys / wants my attention, and whenever I'm in a down mood / not feeling it she seems upset / down that I'm not my usual self.

I had worked up the courage to finally ask her out, but that same day she started wearing a ring to work. Now I'm 100% positive she wasn't wearing it anytime before , so I took it as a hint and stopped flirting with her.

The next couple weeks shes acting as if I killed a puppy in front of her since I've backed off. This pattern goes on for another two weeks. Get close, I feel confused and hurt, stop, she seems depressed, etc.

All this time she's never once mentioned in conversation if she's seeing anyone. Eventually it turns into whenever I say anything mildly flirty to her she seems distressed about it.

I got so sick of it I finally asked her directly: "Hey, you know how I feel about you. Can you make it clear to me how you feel so I know what to do?"

As you could guess: "I'm in a relationship. I was only being nice and friendly. Sorry if I did something wrong."

Now guys, I promise I'm not delusional. I don't really have the best self-image and confidence in the first place. By all standards I'm a good looking guy, but as a former fatass who got bullied everyday, it's hard to shake that image. I know for a fact for at least sometime she enjoyed my attention more than just be friendly.

Was she just caught up in a new guy flirting with her and got ahead of herself? I feel like if you love someone you're in a relationship you wouldn't be so afraid of just mentioning it. Even just as an offhand comment.

I don't really expect it to go anywhere at this point and really am just over it. I thought she was cute and wanted to get to know her better but since it's at work it blew up into a way bigger deal than it was supposed to be.

I guess I just want to know how far off the mark I was/am. It all feels a bit unfair because she had all the chips and chose to not say anything until I confronted her directly, she didn't argue with me when I said she already knew my feelings. We haven't really spoke the last couple days.

Not really sure what to say for things to go back to relative normalcy.
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Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 10:22:56 EST VAcauGzm No.533721 Reply
>>533720
It's all better than "Do you hear ringing in your ears?" If anyone remembers that guy.
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Jenny Monningdale - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 12:38:33 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533724 Reply
>>533721
I'd already mentioned evangelion but yeah, I forgot that one. Classic.

OP, if you do need more advice please bring this back on topic but all your shit seemed cool and I'm nbing out of consideration for people will actual issues in the mean time.

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