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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated April 10)
#qq on IRC Report View Thread Reply
Mintzs !GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST ID:d5kHsYag No.518069
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Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
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Barnaby Fallylire - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 13:31:27 EST ID:Lny7/LNo No.528920 Ignore Report Reply
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>You can be the bad guy in a situation without being a bad guy as a person.
Thanks, Zangief. But I get what you're talking about, no one can be patient & happy with others 24/7. And some people really are just scum who deserve a good chastising.

I tried to get help for it, actually. Therapist and all. Let's just say it wasn't really a success. The joke is, I think I'm doing better on a lot of parts of life than other people. Not to mention the years of fucked up shit made me more resistant to things I see other people struggle HARD with.
David Gammerstere - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:42:25 EST ID:jDv+ota+ No.528924 Ignore Report Reply
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hey man when zangief is right, zangief is right
Doris Drebbledut - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 06:15:37 EST ID:J6yzX8WL No.528927 Ignore Report Reply

Whores and fake orgasms Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Phoebe Febberwell - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:23:58 EST ID:hiKxQg3e No.528928
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If a whore doesn't tell you she's having an orgasm, but it seems like she is, is she faking it? Like I'm talking about vaginal contractions resembling kiegels that seem involuntary, not necessarily "when harry met sally" screaming

If she tells you she had one without being elicited, is it credible?

Talking about a literal whore you paid to have sex with not like, your ex you hate because she slept around

not trying to humblebrag i mean I paid her for sex as well (it was in a legal zone) but also suspicious she came
Molly Foppertig - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:53:12 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528930 Ignore Report Reply
they are people and feel sexual pleasure too
the former is probably real
the second, you need to pay attention, but you can tell
i havent slept in 2 days

1 year clean and life still fucking sucks Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Edwin Wapperford - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 23:50:49 EST ID:eJOJi+3d No.528914
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About a year ago, I gathered the last of my meth, mixed a shot, and slid the needle into one of the few veins on my arm that was still easy to access. I drew up, and once the familiar splash of red came through, I plunged the liquid into my bloodstream. The all too well known feeling of elation, energy and confidence filled me for the last time.

At the time, I imagined making a post of this nature would be something victorious, something that would fill me with joy to share, but I regret to say that isn't the case.

A year on, things feel only marginally better than they did during the initial withdrawals, and the drug still haunts my nightmares, taunting me with pipes that empty themselves by the time I get them lit, needles that won't pierce my veins, a dragon chase that repeats itself in almost every dream that I can recall.

To be frank, I fucking miss the shit. I want nothing more than to wrap my lips around a pipe once more, to infuse my blood with its icy warmth. Nothing else in my life has so effectively masked the feelings of self-loathing and doubt that permeate my existence, nothing else has ever made me feel so whole, even temporarily.

A year of this unrelenting void has worn me down, every day I wake up to the same grey world, my brief moments of joy separated by vast chasms of emptiness that gnaw at me from the inside like some parasite, the deafening silence of my mind plaguing me like a psychic tinnitus. I've all but given up on hope of a better life, as hell is just that bit more bearable if you don't believe there's an escape.

So here we are. Guess to an extent I'm proud of what I achieved, but it honestly feels like a moot victory at this point.
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Oliver Nazzleseg - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 08:14:29 EST ID:lXsK4abP No.528918 Ignore Report Reply
lol at deleting my inoffensive post
done with this site
Polly Clayforth - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 19:11:38 EST ID:RXMFipUL No.528922 Ignore Report Reply
Yeah my wife used to have the same habit and 5 years later still has cravings and flashbacks. Though less lately. Her life has changed a whole lot for the better. It will be there for a long time though.

You don't just stop though and everything becomes better. Life isn't that easy. You need to build something. You need to change your life. It's now far more possible for you. They reckon that the antidote to drug addiction is social connection.
Molly Foppertig - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:50:50 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528929 Ignore Report Reply
do a 10 day fast and things will be different
nothing to lose
cole robinson snake diet

run from probation? Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Walter Buttingfut - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 04:00:11 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.528842
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is it possible to run from probation and still get my license back somehow? im on probation for a dui and i fucking HATE my life. i literally never smile i cant remember the last time ive smiled or felt happy literally has been years. at least before i had weed and shit and that helped and i felt great. i made a bunch of money online and was about to leave my shitty small town for good and then i got fucked with all this shit.

its so god damn sad out here. theres not one person. i have one friend who lives up the road like 5 miles away and thats it and hes literally autistic he only says things like "yeah" and "okay" when talking to him and incredibly awkward and boring its the worst shit ever. whenever i do chill with him he just talks about video games or weird shit and hes just wrong about everything and gets defensive if you present him with facts or tell him the truth about anything and its really fucking annoying

is there a way to just run out on it and get my license back? im currently in a program to get my charges reduced down to a misdemeanor dui and then after that im just on normal fucking probation which could run on for fucking ever because my state is FUCKED and gives the longest probation sentences in the world. my shit state gives 2-4x as long probation or prison sentences for crimes out here as any other state does. i cant even smoke fucking weed. i got a medical card to smoke weed from a doctor and they told me all this shit about the judge wont let anyone smoke weed on probation without a note from a doctor saying youve tried every single pharmaceutical drug first and it didnt work which is fucking RETARDED.

can i just pay my fines and then run like the fucking wind and get my shit back? like after i pay my fines just get on the first fucking flight to the city i want to move to and then once my suspension period is over i can get a license again in a new state? and id just have a warrant and shit in my current shit area i dont even care about visiting again and just get my license back?

this place is literal hell. its always cold. theres no girls. theres nothing to do at all. my town is literally 2 dead roads no people nothing going on i dont know anyone. my …
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Augustus Blackforth - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 07:20:10 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.528917 Ignore Report Reply
i have been trapped here so long and wasted my entire life and wasting whatever time i would have left. this is literal hell. ive literally never seen anywhere cool or nice. ive literally been trapped out in the cold woods my entire life
!scyTheNg3k - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 22:09:16 EST ID:/U8zYy3Q No.528925 Ignore Report Reply

fun fact: dui sentences are supposed to hurt. that's the whole point of them. as to why it's because democracy was abolished a few decades ago and the country is currently run by a haphazard assortment of statistical models trying to optimize a poorly-defined utility function.

honestly i don't know what you did or how long you're on probation. what i do know is that i dropped out of grad school six years ago, and it took until this year for me to get back in. there's a long boring story about why that was what i wanted which is irrelevant.

the point is, if six years went by for me, it will go by for you, too. i was unhappy. i was stuck. and now i'm much better off because i spent most of that time learning stuff.

self-improvement. you can't change your surroundings, so change yourself. get better at something. exercise. cook. pick a weekday and go to the thrift store every [monday?] morning until you have decent clothes. read something you'll benefit from.

almost everything that is valuable and significant, in life, is the result of some kind of long-term pattern or project or activity. doing things that won't pay off for years is necessary for everyone. those are the kinds of things you need to be doing right now.
Henry Drollerchut - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 22:46:38 EST ID:JCATCBbz No.528926 Ignore Report Reply
>>528917 So use that desire to see a new place as your motivation. How do you see a nice, cool, new place? You need to have stability at home first. Get through this tribulation so that you may freely discover all the world has to offer. Every time you feel the sting of being a rural...err..."fag" go ahead and confirm with yourself that one day you'll get what you truly want. YOU WILL get what you want, guy. It's just the way you go about it that determines whether or not you get to keep it.
This fella is right. Every day isn't sunshine and rainbows. You're not the only one who suffers. Find an outlet in your current surroundings. Find something to WORK on. Something to improve on. Do you exercise? Do you play an instrument? Do you write? Listen, you have all the approval you need to do what you want. BUT, if you want the "easy" way out (like I'm always tempted by and sometimes succumb to) you're not going to get to enjoy your freedom for very long. You'll make it through this, I promise you. At the very least you have this site full of people wanting to freely give you advice and compassion. I view it as a godsend. You're already on your way to freedom man. Just stick it out and I guarantee it'll be worth it. Imagine yourself looking back on this and thinking, "Wow, I'm sure glad I struggled through that bullshit because now I've seen national parks, caves, monuments, highly populated towns, met people in places I couldn't have dreamed of back then. I went through the hard work required of me for legitimate freedom, and it was worth it.

I believe in you, OP. I wish you great luck, and as always, good wiggles.

Loneliness Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Matilda Billingdale - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:53:37 EST ID:uqdIaLAk No.528919
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How do I deal with evergrowing loneliness? I've been getting substantially lonelier over the last
years, I left my home country to live with my girlfriend, which is fine, we get along great, she is
very dear to me and one of my bestest friends, we have been through a lot.
I never made any real friends since I moved here, a few acquintances here and there but never
someone who gave me that feeling of a connection. I have 3 people tops I consider to be true friends
but they live +1000Km away.
In the beginning it didn't really bother me, I never was an expressive person, I always needed a lot
of time before I feel comfortable around someone and most of the time I get by great by
myself. Whenever I felt the need to socialize i'd go to a bar, get drunk and have fun, which isn't
an option anymore since I stopped drinking and I do not plan to start again, no way José, it almost
killed me and I realise what enormous impact it has had on my mental health and capacities the last
decade, finally I'm getting my shit together, I'm learning what I'm good at and that most of my
previous aspirations where mostly composed of wishfull thinking and a lack of self knowledge.
My girlfriend has a job that absorbs quite some time since a few months and I'm mostly studying
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Reuben Cammlefoot - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 14:40:09 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528921 Ignore Report Reply
You're going to need new hobbies. I actually did the go to the bar and not drink thing and it actually works if it's a cool place with decent people. Turn up early though so you're not shocked how jarringly drunk everyone is.

Or yeah new hobbies? Depends what you like though.
!scyTheNg3k - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:16:54 EST ID:/U8zYy3Q No.528923 Ignore Report Reply
Keep old friendships going. Don't try to make relationships progress. If you judge people, be willing to forgive them. Just stay in touch with the people you meet. After a few years, you might become good friends, or you might not. It takes time.

What is required to actually be a freelancer programmer? Locked Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Clara Senkinhood - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 22:18:06 EST ID:0WkEIzU6 No.528913
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I don't know if I would ever be able to be a freelancer since my only coding knowledge seems stagnant at basic structured programs and basic shit. I don't know why I could code up an arthritic program within a couple of minutes but something like making a virtual bug more position is hard for me. But I figured some skills are better than no skills and I do have some skills in things like coding, photography, and writing. Maybe I should look into what is required to do freelance work for one or all of those trades. Advice?

Forgive me if this isn't the board to ask, but considering 420chan doesn't have an /adv/ice board this seemed like the closest place to it.
Thread has been locked
Thread was locked by: DrWorm
Reason: we have /tech/ board that would probably give you an answer eventually

anxiety attacks Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Augustus Cruffingstock - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 11:56:06 EST ID:T36o7HCg No.528858
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Lately (i.e. past few months) i've been getting peculiar anxiety attacks every day, multiple times a day, during which it feels like the very act of existing, or knowing that anything exists at all, is profoundly horrifying. Like feeling that i'm a physical being in a body becomes disgusting and unbearable, I become unrecognizable in a mirror, and that the logical continuity of my life losing all meaning. It feels like everything becomes unreal or dream/nightmare like, & that i'm moments away from total mental collapse or becoming incomprehensible / insane, even though the evidence points to the contrary (gf + friends say that I'm acting normal if not somewhat depressed). I've been needing 12 hours of sleep lately and often I just dream about being depressed or losing my mind.

I've had panic attacks for years usually because of some hypochondriac fear of having a heart attack or a stroke but these have a different flavour to them and I dunno what to do. I'm not looking for some quick fix as much as I'm looking for reassurance that others have experienced similar & that i'm not going to lose my mind forever or slip into some catatonic state. When I see a GP about this sort of thing they usually assume i'm overwhelmed by fixable external things and they tell me to download a mindfulness phone app or suggest SSRI's. I exercise regularly and my diet is good. I'd like to talk to somebody but it's pretty much impossible here (UK) unless you're on the verge of suicide.
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Polly Clinnerstod - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 17:12:38 EST ID:fh5xuZgB No.528904 Ignore Report Reply
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>Derealization is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring, and depth. It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions.

Sounds like what you've got OP. I struggled with it for months after trying Salvia. A friend had something similar, depersonalization - where it feels like the SELF isn't real (as opposed to feeling like the world around you isn't real). These two conditions often coexist.


It took both of us several months to get over it, but we did, and we both did it the same way. The solution is to stop thinking about it. Stop hyperfocusing on those thoughts. It sounds difficult but its the only way out. When that uncomfortable feeling starts to set in, just acknowledge it and push it aside. Don't dwell on it. I found that having a name for it and looking at it as a simple psychological phenomenon helped. "Oh look, there's that derealization again. This is a pretty well documented thing. I know I'm not crazy. Fuck it, let's go watch some Netflix."

It takes time but eventually you'll stop freaking out over it, the duration of the "episodes" will get shorter and shorter, and you'll finally get so used to it that the anxiety is gone and you forget all about it. Its nothing but a shitty thought process that takes some time to get over. You're gonna be fine.
Check out - Sun, 21 Apr 2019 17:12:03 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.528906 Ignore Report Reply
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Sounds like you have some issues son, do headstands and put your mind at ease during those upside down times.
Esther Cidgefodge - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 08:25:36 EST ID:T36o7HCg No.528910 Ignore Report Reply
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ty very much for the replies lads, I dont have many people irl i can talk to about this sort of stuff and your words have been very reassuring, ive been making an effort to just ignore these mind states & abstain completely from smoking/drinking and i can feel them slowly getting less frequent & intense

Don't know anymore Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Wesley Domblehun - Tue, 11 Dec 2018 22:07:44 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528082
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I honestly feel like my heart has turned into ice and it's hard as stone. I have no love for anyone anymore because I feel so disconnected from reality and people. My life has been nothing but a black hell I've been trapped in since I was born. Nothing good has come out of anything I've tried to do for myself to improve upon my life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I become darker and darker as time passes. I don't love my own mother anymore even. I was physically abused for years until I had a nervous breakdown at 16yrs old and was diagnosed with full blown schizophrenia and depression. Things have just gotten worse for me over the years since then. I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from what the abuse did to my heart and mind. I feel so lonely and unwanted. Sometimes I wish I was never born and my mom did have a miscarriage with me like she almost did when she was pregnant with me. Why the fuck am I even here?

You guys are the only people I talk to period since I have no friends. You people are the only ones who I feel I can relate to. Other than that, I have nothing left in my heart except for darkness and hatred. I cant do anything to fix this. I've tried getting help and nothing seems to work.

Can someone help me?
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Basil Pottingfut - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 01:53:34 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528856 Ignore Report Reply
hey man. i wish you luck. here's some great advice. generally speaking this guys channel has a lot of good stuff, even if you're not starting a business. this video in particular:
Cornelius Burrydock - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:46:54 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528874 Ignore Report Reply
I honestly feel like I've wasted my time living my life with these people. I'm just going to save up enough money to move out. I no longer have any desire to live with my family since they seem to be against me and treat me like chit and try to tell me how I should do things. Well guess what? I'm my own person and I'll do things my own way. So they can go get fuked.

I've had it with both of these people treating me like shit and trying to tell me what I'm going to do. The one is a fat hypocritical drug addict who can't get a job because he can't pass a piss test. The other one who is supposed to love me and has been by me through thick and thin because how fuked up I became from all the abuse I took from the fat fuk has turned her back on me. I just cant deal with these people anymore. I'm just sick and tired of having to live like this and always feeling this way. I always feel alone and lonely and unwanted. I'm just going to do what I got to do to get the fuk away and be at peace and love my life.
Edwin Bandleson - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 08:16:11 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528908 Ignore Report Reply
Been meditating a lot and reading a self help book. Its helping me a lot. I feel a lot better since I started doing these things. My mood is better and not as negative as it's been. I no longer give a fuck about what people like my brother thinks of me and what he has to say. I'm focusing on myself and doing everything I can to help myself. I've been getting along good with my mother for the first time in quite a while. I think I can rebuild my relationship with my mother. I don't get anxiety anymore and I'm in a much more positive mood. My anger has calmed down too. I'm learning how to think before I speak and think before taking action.

I'm buying my first vehicle in the next 2 weeks which will give me lots of in dependency and freedom and looking for a job as well. Will no longer have to depend on people for rides to places. With that said I'll be able to start working out again at my gym anytime I want since I'll have my own transportation.

Everything seems to be falling into place now for the first time in my life. Things are starting to make sense to me. I'm actually making progress and I'm going to keep up this pace I'm going. I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

Fuck sake Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Cornelius Hodgeman - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 09:34:40 EST ID:Y3OKSqQl No.528765
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Help I've been trying to meal prep and follow a realistic self care routine for fucking years. I work as a mental health support worker (lol) and NEED to learn to do a self care before I commit suicide and leave my sweet angel of a girlfriend here on this shitty fucking plane of existence. Pic related. I take antidepressants, have done therapy. I love weed & tolerate life
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Hiffwe !BKmffWgROY - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 23:57:47 EST ID:7Lii9+gw No.528890 Ignore Report Reply
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You put this shit on and cry.

Just fucking cry.

Listen to me bitch im your therapist now. Tough love çuck.

You fucking listen to how stupid you sounded before you cried.

Now listen to yourself tell yourself I'm not going to let my dumb ass take advantage of me while im down and kicked.
!scyTheNg3k - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 02:24:41 EST ID:/U8zYy3Q No.528891 Ignore Report Reply
ok so
first there was you're trying to do "meal prep" and "self care"
then you started talking about suicide
and i think "that escalated quickly!"

first of all, you need to stop getting mad at yourself for not doing things whose sole purpose is to make you feel better
that's just the wrong way to approach it. you can't attach all these negative feelings to what is supposed to be a pleasurable activity.

like if you forget to eat lunch, it's ok, don't get mad at yourself for not eating lunch. try to pick up some kind of high-fiber snack and have some water. (keep these around, they're useful.)

like seriously
>A fucking bulletjournal. Because otherwise I can't organise my life.
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Wesley Croggleville - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:00:48 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528901 Ignore Report Reply
woebot is a free CBT app you might like

Your hobbies don't sound like things you can rely on to be uplifting, but I could be wrong. is there any activity that leaves you with more spoons than you started with?

I am sure you know about the "tyranny of the shoulds" might be worth revisiting that, you are very hard on yourself, and you can be if you want to be, ok? being hard on yourself isn't a flaw that you have to beat yourself up over, nor is a lack of self care. maybe you are too stressed in general and haven't got the spoons for self care

Where to meet dateable women? Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Charlotte Dellerford - Wed, 12 Dec 2018 08:42:18 EST ID:ZBd6lcme No.528097
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Where does one find dateable women? I spend all my time at work, at home on the computer, or out biking. I have to go elsewhere to find them, obviously, but where? (Btw, don't tell me to try to find a woman at work. All the women at work are old, fat, married, and/or incompatible culturally/religiously (wears a hijab, barely speaks english, etc).)

I admit that I've never had a serious relationship. I've been told to find someone who shares my interests, but is that actually important? Thinking about it, I'd rather have a relationship with a quiet, calm woman who likes, say, keeping centipedes as pets, than a loud, crazy woman who likes programming and biking. Furthermore, just because they share your interests doesn't mean they share your values. What's a man to do?
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baby - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 15:11:14 EST ID:16u7vXn8 No.528900 Ignore Report Reply
try to imagine where the girl you like would be. if you want a fitness chick, go to the gym, if you want a sexy nerd then go to a bookstore, or like comicon, but if you want a gamer girl, dont go online lol
Wesley Croggleville - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:02:37 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528902 Ignore Report Reply
he wants someone calm and quiet, maybe a meditation teacher or someone in a buddhist retreat
Graham Sinkinpet - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 08:16:49 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528909 Ignore Report Reply
then again maybe they are there as a way of dealing with their BPD, not that borderline people can't be absolutely wonderful, just that they wouldn't be calm and quiet, as a rule

Evil is out there Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Alice Creffingstudging - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 08:14:26 EST ID:pNgQLU7V No.528894
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True evil is out there. Unforgiving, cruel, sadistic, unfair, tragic, and many other words go with it. How do you handle indefinitely living among it? How do you handle having a girlfriend/wife/kids knowing rapists, sex trafficers, sadistic kidnappers, and serial killers walk among us just waiting for one of them to find themselves alone at night? How do you sleep peacefully knowing you or your loved ones end could come from llong term torture and rape? People hold so much intellectual capability and creativity and can apply it easily to do the most evil things they can either because they truly hate existence, it gives them pleasure, or both.
After enough time spent online and coming across rape, torture, snuff, gore, and the like i think i built up some serious dissociation and depersonalization (bipolar developing in full force and social isolation probably aided to this). For a while i couldnt smoke weed because id hear people breaking in to my moms room to kill her if i laid there. I constantly worry about any number of this shit happening to my girlfriend, like if she doesnt respond fast enough sometimes ill sit there and worry she got kidnapped. And theres no way for me to calm myself down because all of this is actually possible. Not likely, especially if youre careful, but possible.

Ive tried and tried and tried to learn to accept the existence of this shit but its like theres something i still need to solve. Learning to defend myself and home would probably be good but idk anymore, i think its more the philosophy that disturbs me. Im like addicted to retraumatizing myself too. I constantly will go on to stormfront or wherever and try to find the most fucked up things people have spammed or posted on some tiny dead boards and im still not sure why. It definitely doesnt help but its like im trying to hold my breath, dive in, and figure something out.

Tl;dr its really hard living in this world knowing that my loved ones or me could be raped/killed/tortured/genocided/you get the point. Not only that but its hard knowing it happens in general and images and quotes keep flashing through my mind whenever i realize “hey i havent thought about anything fucked up for a while.” My question is how do yo…
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Fuck Sundersetch - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 12:25:54 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528897 Ignore Report Reply
You take precautions and then get on with your life. There is easily reduced risks and there's giving up a lot to remove a relatively small threat. If you take the sensible precautions and don't do anything dumb then well, you've taken the reasonable steps, your loved ones have.

After that the best thing you can do is make the most of your life. Whether you're raped and genocided tomorrow or not you need to make the most of life in the mean time. Whether you live peacefully or die horribly you have to make the most of your life until you find out for sure. What happens tomorrow doesn't affect today.

Exposing yourself to something like this isn't helping. Unless you're getting practical insights into how to stop it, you're just increasing your misery. Put your energy into finding positive action you can take and into enjoying life.

Life is cruel and horrible but the people in the shittiest hellholes hold on to life, they fight for it. That should give you some perspective.
Edwin Grimridge - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 12:59:35 EST ID:Ze2R5JEw No.528898 Ignore Report Reply
You know what you have to do to overcome this, OP. You have to face your fear.

Rape, torture, and kill your mother.
Alice Creffingstudging - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 13:28:12 EST ID:pNgQLU7V No.528899 Ignore Report Reply
Nah i dont think thats a good idea

Girlfriend knows no fucking boundaries about my family Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Shit Fangerbanks - Mon, 25 Mar 2019 19:25:16 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.528505
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I don't wanna get into details, but i fucking hate my mother, she is one of the worst human beings i've ever come across, my sister literally never talked with her the moment she got a opportuinity to run away.

Now my girlfriend for some reason, likes my mother, and thinks that the person she sees almost never, is not the person i've grow with, if i tell i don't wanna deal with her anymore im either being spoiled, throwing a tantrum or being childish, she literally said that sexual abuse that woman did on me was no big deal.

I can't live with having my family in my future, i don't want to deal with her, and the fact my girlfriend won't respect that, she constantly tries to make me have contact with my mother, now that she graduated college and gonna have collation, she invited that woman to it, and i honestly don't wanna deal with her existence, im tired of my girlfriend disregarding my feelings for my mother and trying to shove that woman back into existance, and honestly i feel like just blocking her and ignoring her existence, since she will ignore my feelings with my family and act like she knows more than me, i know its imature to simply throw someone away, but im tired of living through anxiety of having to deal with my mother, the idea of having to see her there almost makes me have a panic attack, im angry as fuck and anxious.
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Phyllis Chizzlespear - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 08:04:33 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.528879 Ignore Report Reply
time to leave everybody behind i think. some people just gotta do that shit family and shit like that isnt that important life is mostly about money and just trying to find fun shit and trying to break out of the 9-5 rat race shit.

family is not that important mostly just income and maybe drugs or whatever you do for fun
Simon Murddale - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:32:49 EST ID:wuy30QqH No.528880 Ignore Report Reply

If he was gana kill himself why did he take the money? To pay the ferryman?
Edward Danderstedge - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 13:33:08 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528881 Ignore Report Reply
No one should take suicide lightly but you have to be aware of context. Even if your ex is genuine (almost definitely isn't) you the cost to you is enormous. You are WAY into the benefit of the doubt but even if it's real, what does "saving" this sort of person entail if she's not willing to change? Misery for both of you. There is a reasonable limit and it's a bit soft (but something I also do) to extend the benefit of the doubt a bit beyond that. That marks me as a bit of a target so I've gotten quite good at limiting the damage people can do when there's multiple red flags showing. Real people don't need multiple chances without catching you a break and coming through, real friends do fuck up but they accept your fuck ups because they know they do the same, and they mostly do good, or try. Relenting because you're depressed is not that, acknowledging your feelings would be.

If you are unwilling to step out of a situation where there is literally no evidence they respect you or themselves, you're going to be exploited all your life. All the gifts you have to give, the love, the compassion will not be helping someone. They will be wasted on someone who does not appreciate them and will not make good use of them. They will not bring joy, they will just be a thing that happens while they expose you to misery. And you will suffer. There is nothing good about making yourself a martyr because you have a magic inflexible code of bullshit honour that says "oh they said the S word, I have to let them do whatever". Because that is ending your life.

Life is many different colours and shades. You cannot be black and white about it.

Hopefully your friend is fine though taking a load of money is weird. Unless he only took enough cash to get where he needs to go this doesn't sound like suicide. Maybe he's freaked out and is off on an adventure/crisis. Hopefully he'll turn up with some healthier perspective soon.

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bruno - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 22:14:47 EST ID:SFFhpIiL No.528839
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no one will ever believe me

everyone accepts that secret organizations can monitor all of us all the time but no one would ever believe my testimony

I know about them. We are in contact. They don't know what to do with me. I feel like I am fucked here because I made up a conspiracy that turned out to be true.

it's consumed the past three years of my life.

you won't believe me.
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Awe' !!Bwteoy2D - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 14:15:05 EST ID:UxK9eEvz No.528846 Ignore Report Reply
I've tried talking with him already, the guy isn't responsive even if he posts "responses".
Bruno - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 21:21:14 EST ID:SFFhpIiL No.528875 Ignore Report Reply
His question had nothing to do with my problems.
Betsy Smallwell - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 22:18:05 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.528876 Ignore Report Reply
How many people do they monitor and how often do they monitor the average subject?

How long after a seizure can I start doing dumb shit again Locked Ignore Report View Thread Reply
Ernest Dollyfoot - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 12:55:15 EST ID:HCEYmc5X No.528859
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Hey so I posted this on /med/ and the only response I got was someone suggesting I post this here since /med/ is so slow, so sorry for the 'double post'.

weird thread but hear me out

So a year and a half ago I had my first seizure. Since it was the first I was taken to the ER, made sure I was cool and was basically told not to worry about it since most people will have one freak one at some point in their life. Wasn't taking drugs at the time.

I had my second one this past weekend. They did all the tests again and said "well you don't have any signs of actual epilepsy so we're gonna refer you to a neurologist." Full disclosure, I had totally been abusing tramadol for like, a week or two before. Never going beyond the 400mg a day guideline but maybe up to 300mg a day. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's what caused it. I mean if I told the doctors that they would certainly blame that since there's nothing else to jump at. In any case it doesn't matter, cause I'm not gonna go down that road. I got off heroin years ago. The DEA has made it damn near impossible to get real opiates these days. So, I fell off the wagon with these fucking things. I know not to take them again.

My main question is about how long should I wait til I start fucking with more 'regular' street drugs again? I think last time I waited about a week. Thing is I broke a couple of toes, dislocated my shoulder and banged my ear and head pretty hard this time around. That little bit of 3meopcp in the drawer is really tempting since OTC pain meds ain't worth a shit and I keep having to leave work early cause I'm in such pain and I can't exactly afford that since I know I've got an ambulance and ER bill coming soon.

I understand I'm taking a risk no matter what. I guess I should also mentioned they sent me home with some Divalproex to prevent another seizure which I have been taking, although I'd rather not. Think I may just take it until I get to my regular doctor in a couple days. I know it's really stupid to even ask ya'll but the internet at large does not have an answer for "how long after a seizure can I start doing drugs again?" I'…
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Martha Dimblepadge - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 15:57:14 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528871 Ignore Report Reply
But do you hear it?
Jack Brookwater - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 16:14:08 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528872 Ignore Report Reply
you know it there is a chance it could cause permanent brain damage, but this iis more important, i got ya
Ernest Dollyfoot - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 19:24:39 EST ID:HCEYmc5X No.528873 Ignore Report Reply
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Yeah, I hear it. I'm just wondering to myself and trying to balance the risk/reward factor.

I've had issues with depression all my life, legitimately tried like 7 different various anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, seen a dozen different counselors, doctors, had a handful of religious experiences that seemed to fix my perspective in the short term but nothing lasted...
There are a handful of drugs out there that our culture seriously frown upon at the moment for various reasons. Some valid, some not. But I don't think every drug user is an addict. I've never missed a day of work to get high. I've never stolen anything to fund any habit. I've never not paid my bills. These few drugs I'm thinking of have always made me feel better and enabled me to be more functional and productive.

So I'm in that sort of "Do I risk it and do what I know will make me happy or do I just live my life like a sad robot"?

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