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Anyone else read sites like this and feel scared? by Fucking Billingham - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 01:29:08 EST ID:UjNuOR6B No.514935 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Sites that talk about this Freudian stuff about how much our childhoods actually fuck us up. I had a pretty turbulent one, and reading through with shit like in the picture here really fucks with me. I can recognize myself in so much of it. I guess a lot of people could and I could be overreacting, or maybe I am more mentally ill than I thought?
James Hibbleshit - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 01:57:52 EST ID:3aoqhkIz No.514936 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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You should know by know that every person has a subjective structure, the most common being neurotic. You are already "ill" (I hate this term, it should stay in the field of the body).

Regardless, could you provide context or source?
Henry Neppernot - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 03:15:22 EST ID:iojGAeYd No.514941 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That picture is straight up me OP.
My ma doesn't really like my pa I believe and that is what caused it. Also her parent used to beat each other up
Martin Pandletat - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 03:42:47 EST ID:jPpWgI0N No.514943 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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"Troubled" is a better term and should come back into use.
Mentally troubled.
Emotionally troubled.
It's more literal and makes more sense and doesn't freak people out by subconsciously linking illness to contagion and causing further fear towards the emotionally troubled.
Eliza Soddlewell - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 04:52:26 EST ID:Y6GNQKte No.514946 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Basically this. Almost everyone has some baggage from their imperfect childhood raised by humans who are imperfect. However some of us have it worse than others. And some have devastatingly awful childhoods that weren't so much flawed and leading to improper growth as damaging ordeals that were merely survivable.

What I'm saying OP is my childhood was shit, it was worse than most of my friends and I am a damaged worse adjusted person and for all my effort I'm so far behind my peers I'll never catch up. But it could have been a lot worse, I can (after much hard work) make my way through society under my own steam to the same extent as anyone else, actually attain a reasonably future and avoid the most damaging and destructive choices available to me with ease. I have seen worse and I've seen more damaged people. And I have the ability a lot of people don't to relate to all but the most fucked up ordeals and at least understand what people are going through.

I say this a lot because it's generally good, you can recognise your issues but what matters is you make the most of your situation. Remember that. An answer is worthless if it doesn't empower you to make better informed actions going forward and it's less than worthless if you use it to excuse taking your foot off the gas or making bad decisions.
Fuck Brookcocke - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 08:36:14 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.514951 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I know what you mean man. It feels like something is fundamentally broken in me, right down to the very core of my being and I know in retrospect that it has to do with being emotionally neglected by my parents. They are both introverts and they both worked full time since I was a small child and I was constantly being abandoned and when they came back they would be too drained from interacting with other people all day to give me the attention I needed. I remember when I was young, still too young to go to school, my mother lost her job, and rather than spend time with her young child, she sent me away to someone else so that she could look for a job. I remember being bitten by the babysitters kid at that time. We also live in a very secluded neighborhood so I was dependent upon my parents to drive me somewhere to socialize with other kids and they would always complain when asked so after a while I stopped asking.

I have avoidant personality disorder now and can't bring myself to get close to anyone. I think the idea that people don't like me is so ingrained into my psyche from years of my own parents treating me so much differently than I saw other kids get treated by their parents that I will never recover. I have no friends and no social contact with anyone even though that's the one thing in this world I actually desire. It scares the shit out of me to think I will always be like this.

Girl problem by Lillian Dartville - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 08:43:34 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.514721 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I hate these kinds of threads too, but I was hoping some of you got some good advice. I see this girl around a lot, I've only talked to her once and didn't catch her name but I thought of asking for her contact or something. I do get some vibes for her but I am not sure if that's me I being retarded.
I am not good really good with approaching girls. Only had one sexual partner so far and I am pretty anxious about rejection. I mean, this girl has been on my mind like a drug and she is mad cute. Is it just as simple as getting the grit to ask her out? I know I am gonna feel like trash if I get shot down.
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Henry Pittstock - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 20:05:53 EST ID:vNkiRJtJ No.514894 Ignore Report Quick Reply

That wasn't retardation, but your social instincts kicking in, hombre. I get that it might already be too late now, but I can virtually promise you that if you just walk up to her when she's with her large squad and ask her out or whatever, it'll be mad awkward since you're likely to become the center of attention.

The setting needs to be more private, and you should make it seem more natural. Others in this thread are telling you to just do it and get it over with, and yeah you gotta go for it, but you don't wanna blow it by rushing it either, you know?

Best of luck, OP.
Oliver Grandwill - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:27:44 EST ID:K4QTRcmJ No.514898 Ignore Report Quick Reply

so all life as we know it depends on microscopic dat asses, it all makes sense now
Rebecca Hicklewet - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:55:48 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.514913 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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For sure. Everytime I see her she's always with friends, sometimes with homeboys so I am not even going to bother because it will sure as shit be weird. Idk, it's been several weeks so I am kinda over it. Who knows maybe I'll get another chance in the future. Anyways, I will definetly use the advice in this thread for future hollering at chicks. One day it'll just happen naturally, I guess.
Thanks, you guys.
Henry Neppernot - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:45:46 EST ID:iojGAeYd No.514926 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dude, instead of "asking her out" just go up and talk to her and her "homeboys", the dudes being there gives you an in, they don't hate you, man
Lydia Niblingfuck - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 08:21:09 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.514950 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Got her snapchat today, though she hasn't added me back.

Every cell in my body tells me nothing will happen, like a very direct and clear gut feeling. I don't feel that it's related to some bullshit lack of confidence, just a reading of the situation. I'll definetly persue it if that's an option. I am not too bothered if nothing happens. I also learned an important lesson that it isn't that intimidating to approach a shawty. I am not even sure I want a relationship with a girl but rather the attention that comes with it. I don't trust anybody either so I don't know if I could function in relationship that requires actual dedication to another human being. Most of my homies are obsessed with thots but I don't really see the point unless there's actual "chemistry" or whatever. I'd take the fuckboi road and just try to get laid all the time but sex is way too overrated and the results aren't worth the effort. Besides, jerking off keeps me straight so...

Dealing with sudden poverty, probation and rehab by Barnaby Sippernidge - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:35:50 EST ID:hiKxQg3e No.514924 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi /qq/

I'm a fairly well-adjusted drug addict who recently got thrown on probation (Baaaawww). I've entered a court-ordered rehab program and they test my piss weekly/randomly to make sure I'm not doing drugs. The lack of drugs makes me depressed but also the fines and fees for the probation and the healthcare have made me a destitute pauper, living month to month on almost nothing. I can't even drink alcohol since this is forbidden by the rehab program.

I'm in a populated city in the north east of the USA. I just moved here from California when this happened (I was a heavy weed smoker in Cali and used to that shit being tolerated. My surprise.) They also found more than weed (DOM), but luckily I'm not in jail.

I see people at rehab but I'm really not friendly with them once a week (Mondays). The rest of the week I have nothing to do. I receive SSDI for drug-related mental illness now (lucky me). I'm formerly a computer programmer (c++ embedded).

I've been playing Starcraft II at home but it's getting a bit old. Previously, I would just get really high or trip or go to a music festival or head shop or other places to meet people, usually people who also do drugs, but right now I'm on a shoestring budget.

I go to the library sometimes but it's hard to socialize there since you're not allowed to talk. My local park has kids that get high a lot but they're in high school and I'm 32.

To top it off, I have to negotiate medical bills with my hospital that I can't pay in full. I applied for SNAP. I got me a gubment android phone that gives me 350 minutes a month and unlimited text.

I already asked /detox/ about how to deal with drug cravings, so that's squared away.
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Phoebe Sankinhood - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 00:25:42 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.514933 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Nothing wrong with the subject itself, but in this current state the media is saturated with self-published nonsense from all parts of the political spectrum. There may be some truth in them, but most of it is something I try to stay away from; partially because it triggers me, but mostly because I don't want to be played by the current state of affairs.
Emma Hiffingsere - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 01:02:01 EST ID:AqKaXj/M No.514934 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Not to mention a lot of politics can get you riled up. Although that's something that can be used for good, a lot of the time it won't end up like that one scene in Network, and instead you'll just be stressed out by people who know how to get people overly stressed out without any sort of good healthy outlet, and these people don't really give a shit about how you cope with it, as long as they can get you "on their side." You have trolls trolling trolls who think they're part of some master scheme when it's just feeding into their delusion. I'd like to think that some of them will eventually learn that they're being played or realize that the "game" isn't fun, but I know a number are more or less lost causes.
Eliza Soddlewell - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 05:06:44 EST ID:Y6GNQKte No.514947 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How many people in your rehab groups are taking the same approach as you? I can't offer much for the social side. Being able to hang around people doing drugs probably isn't going to be all that great if you can't take drugs. I'd try to branch out. Most people who hit their 30s who are drug friendly but not burnouts end up only consuming what's legal (as you did before you moved) because they no longer have time for connections regardless of their stance. Speaking as a guy who in a better world/country would do LSD a few times a year and smoke weed but barely drinks and is 32 in a few months myself. I don't think I could find low risk enough connections without expending a lot of time and effort now and I kind of like my career. I'm not a bit more money than you but not a shit load because I'm a) local government b) still training and c) british and the exchange rate has fallen through the floor. I'm in an expensive area and so I think the main reason I don't feel poorer than you (when I probably am) is I don't have as much free time to spend my money in.

You'll eventually need a job so I take it you'll try to get back into coding in the long run? If that's possible then I'd make the suggestion you should take time to keep your hand in at coding or maybe even take up projects in a different area if you need to move the industry you code for.

How much exercise do you do? It's not a big time killer but body weight exercise and some cardio will improve your physical and mental health, is free and taking care of yourself always makes everything easier. It's a form of self improvement and you can set goals for yourself. If you go to an interview when this shit is over and can list things you've done in your spare time that constitute self improvement.

Find someone trying to give away an old guitar or something and start self teaching is another one. If you've got spare time checking local garage sales or recycling centres and free ads is something you can do easily. I have a friend who took up guitar when he was walking through the woods and some old guy walked past carrying a guitar and said he was trying to get r…
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Hedda Blythebanks - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 05:39:55 EST ID:9uWKjtre No.514948 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Motherfucker, you are not poor. try making only about 12k a year and then you will know something about poor in this country.
James Hummleham - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 08:12:28 EST ID:NhrQqRbP No.514949 Ignore Report Quick Reply

This. OP is making bank and he doesn't even have to work a shitty job for 40+ hours a week. what the fuck :(

Just got out of the psych ward by Mirai - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 13:18:11 EST ID:tsKyCFUs No.514885 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I just spent a few days in a fucking psych ward, in a shitty hospital, and was forced to come off both opiates and benzos cold turkey. I also refused antipsychotics, so offer me a very obscure on I've never heard of, and told me It's an anti nausea med, and assured me that it was not an antipsychotic. What struck me as odd, was that I didn't complain of nausea once while I was there. I stupidly took it, and literally couldn't sleep from the unbelievable RLS. Then, they denied me anything to treat the RLS. I'm finally fucking out, and decided on suing them for straight up lying to me, and the lawyers I've called all say there's nothing they can do. Man, these last few weeks have been so fucked. On the sorta fun side, I got to witness a paranoid schizo chick have daily fucking meltdowns, and get wrestled to the ground, and take multiple injections of haldol or whatever antipsychotic that had that fucking nutjob on. All in all I give the experience a -2/10. It fucking sucked, but I guess it could have been much worse.
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Randle McMurphy - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 02:22:17 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.514937 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Oh, so you do know what it was after all. Everything I wrote beyond line 1 and the first 10 words of line 2 still applies.

Since RLS is a well-known side effect of many common psych meds (including perphenazine), as well a symptom of opioid/benzo W/D, there is no way to draw the distinction of which was the primary cause beyond reasonable doubt. As such, legal recourse would be rendered moot on these grounds alone. (Note: while I am basing my assessment off of experience in the US, this point in particular would be the most damning regardless of locale)

I agree that it's a pretty fucked up system in many ways, but OP's experience is more the rule than the exception. Personally, I would suggest he focus on the issues that led him there in the first place rather than arguably frivolous litigation. Unless the medication caused permanent harm, they will laugh him out of that courtroom faster than he can say "look at the funny haldol lady."

I mean, you don't wanna wind up back there again, right? The sooner you start taking personal responsibility, the sooner you'll start moving on.
Mirai - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 02:23:14 EST ID:tsKyCFUs No.514938 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514915 The rls didn't get unbearable until the night they gave me the perphenazine.
Mirai - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 02:32:01 EST ID:tsKyCFUs No.514939 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I didn't learn what the med was until I left the ward. They refused to admit it works as an antipsychotic. It's the blatant lie they told me that has me angry.
Graham Focklestock - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 02:44:20 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I agree with everything you said, I just found it strange that you were ready to believe it was likely the medication they administered that caused the RLS when it's extremely common as a withdrawal symptom for both opiates and benzo's. Yeah, it's a side-effect of a lot of psych meds, and it might've even aggravated the WD symptoms OP would've had, but to suggest it can be reasonably assumed to be the medication seems a little odd. But, you do say that it's impossible really to make a distinction, which is more or less the point I'm making too. I think we were just coming at it from different angles. The end result is still one where OP has no basis for pursuing legal action and it'll just be a waste of his money and time.
Randle McCourage Wolf - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 04:18:01 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.514945 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah, I was more going for the angle where even given the benefit of the doubt and not considering that factor, he wouldn't have a very good case (partly because I was already running on TLDR, heh).

A court is not going to agree that a hospital was in the wrong giving psych meds in a psych ward, unless there had been a severe contraindication such as a known allergy/documented preexisting history of it causing you major adverse effects (ie, something like agranulocytosis or stevens-johnson syndrome, not restless legs for 2 nights).

They are simply not going to care about a semantics argument between the hospital and someone who they consider to have been mentally insufficient at the time, unless it directly lead to preventable injury/disability/death.

I understand your anger, but the best thing you can do at this point is to not put yourself in a position where they would have that power over you again. Start by taking care of yourself, then you can chip away at your problems little by little until they are not so overwhelming anymore. Be motivated by this experience to become a better you - therein will your anger be transformed to strength.

Where to even start with shamanism? by Phoebe Cluzzlemutch - Sat, 18 Feb 2017 21:30:17 EST ID:qpEELBQo No.513554 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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A little background: My entire life I've been a little bit different, never really fit in anywhere, had very few but good friends, I went to a standard public highschool but after struggling for 3 years I switched to an alternative Native american heritage high school and another 3 years later was able to graduate with a diploma, only to discover that I wouldn't be able to follow my original career path which is what made me want that diploma int he first place. While I was there at the new school catching up, one of the kind lady teachers said that I gave off the energy of a healer, and her suggestion has stuck with me to this day. I later took a MBTI offered by the school which suggested that I am an INFP, and I can't really disagree with it. Maybe six or seven years ago I suffered from a medical emergency which almost killed me, I was in and out of consciousness and in the hospital for a few days. In one of these periods of semi-consciousness, I vaguely remember seeing a couple of eagles and getting agitated at the medical staff for being unable to see them, but I never really thought much about the significance of the eagles until I recently started doing reading on Shamanism and spirit animals. Those eagles might have been looking after me in the hospital, but since then I haven't seen any visions about them again. I'm 100% certain I have symptoms which fall under the category of shaman sickness, such as incurable depression. Thinking back on my use of entheogens and other mind-altering substances, and the kinds of people I'd take them with, and the highly personal things people would share and talk about with me, completely unsolicited, I believe that it was in a shamanic or pre-shamanic way, even if I didn't realize it at the time. I'd like to help people in a shamanic way, but first I need to do it on my own and now I'm stuck and beginning to worry. Am I doing it 'right'? What if this is not for me? Reading about it is one thing and actually practicing is another, but I still don't know for sure. How will I make this work financially? Am I just worrying because I'm lost and it will work out? It doesn't feel like there's much of a place for sham…
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Phyllis Godgedeg - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 08:52:24 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.514907 Ignore Report Quick Reply

im literally face palming. Just give up, go wear a suit and ask the masters for some help yeah?
Lydia Clizzlespear - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 16:03:15 EST ID:Rfvv4nVT No.514916 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Prior to being let in on the secret, I wouldn't have even known how to ask the masters to help me, and I didn't want to waste their time when I wasn't even sure what I was looking for. But now I know, what I was looking for was myself.
Perhaps you misunderstand me or think I'm not being truthful, but the spirit world is certainly real and has been in front of me the entire time, it's just that I wasn't able to see it until the veil was lifted from my eyes with the help of my own power thanks to the Divine. Everyone is their own shaman, and certain individuals who have experience in guiding others into utilizing their own healing potential are the ones widely regarded as 'healers'. If you can't see it, you can't heal it.
>im literally face palming
There's no need to face palm, for me this is a moment worth celebrating and I am not ashamed to share it.
Caroline Gesslefig - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 16:51:59 EST ID:sWAECgQI No.514917 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Never change, 420chan. Never change.
Phoebe Sankinhood - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 23:47:16 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.514931 Ignore Report Quick Reply

There are ways to do all of this without drugs. I used to think that drugs were a necessary step, but they are not. You might lose your mind too much; I'm starting to be slightly worried.
Priscilla Semmletun - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 04:01:33 EST ID:Rfvv4nVT No.514944 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Indeed there are ways to do it without drugs, such as meditation. I haven't taken any drugs at all since my near death experience, not even caffeine, since I no longer feel lost. I don't need them right now, and hopefully won't need to seek their guidance anytime soon. But when it becomes impossible for one to see the way forward in reality, sometimes it is necessary to use tools or outside help so that one can look inwards and find the way forward there.

I'm super Pissed Off by Sidney Mepperson - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 16:56:18 EST ID:Cj19AF5d No.514872 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Have you ever been in a bad mood because you like to get high on whatever your favorite drugs are, for me it's 3-MeO-PCP or just plain PCP when the guys show up by the apartments. Last week I smoked all my last stash of the stuff and my mom flips a bitch on me claiming I am the reason all the 3-MeO-PCP is gone. She is so dumb I am the only reason her dumb ass nostrils ever got to taste three methoxy phencyclidine because she doesn't know how to use the internet and I am the one who taught her how to buy a .001 scale on amazon. Research chemicals are something new to her and she would be lost without me. But she is really pissing me off and I'm about to fucking trash her tv or something serious really soon because she pissing me off.
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Charles Grandspear - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:56:04 EST ID:lIOY71Wp No.514884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I literally said in my post that they are not my problems. I was trying to shed some perspective onto what real problems are and not this "wahhh mommy took my drugs" Mickey Mouse bullshit I see before my very eyes
Graham Clinnerwudging - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 20:04:55 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.514893 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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She gave you life bro and you can't even share your research chemicals with her?
What are families turning into today.
Lydia Clizzlespear - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:38:57 EST ID:Rfvv4nVT No.514899 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Start reading before replying so people don't assume you're retarded
Molly Fissledun - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:26:16 EST ID:vNkiRJtJ No.514923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don't trash your mom's TV, OP.

  1. Steal it
  2. Sell it for top dollar
  3. Buy more RCs to share with the woman who gave you the gift of life and unconditional love

That is what a good boy would do.
Barnaby Sippernidge - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:40:55 EST ID:hiKxQg3e No.514925 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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  1. Calm down.
  2. Obtain more RCs
  3. Share them with your cool mom

First of all who are the guys showing up by your apartment? Dealer? I didn't get that part. You don't need a dealer for 3-MeO-PCP, just buy the RC from a vendor with bitcoins or darkweb, but you probably know that already so whatever.

Being pissed off and messing with dust analogs is probably a bad idea. Calm down and find a way to get cheap dusty RCs.

why am i a retard by Rebecca Clayhall - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 17:27:23 EST ID:5EOlI8Qz No.514919 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I stop being such a loser? I'm 25 yo male and never had a girlfriend. An old guy in a wheel chair called me a sissy. I'm 6'2 but fattish (218 lbs) with weak arms. I don't really care about working out though. I just wanna have a good life. I live in a nursing home for the mentally ill in Illinois and have been bounced around through various ones for the past 4 years. I got kicked out of the army for being a pussy (failure to adapt: entry level other than honourable discharge).

On a daily basis I act like a fag. I get pissy cus my roommate leaves the bathroom door open or talks to himself or slams the toilet seat. When people are laughing and joking, I always think it's about me, even if I just walked by. When people are talking, I think it's related to what I'm thinking about at the moment.
Rebecca Clayhall - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 17:29:26 EST ID:5EOlI8Qz No.514920 Ignore Report Quick Reply
a negative sound in the distance can trigger me to say no and a positive sound can trigger me to say yes. its really weird.
Jenny Grimlock - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 18:11:52 EST ID:hiKxQg3e No.514921 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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You have low self-esteem, OP, which is why you never get pussy, too, because girls are attracted to confidence. Like Muhammad Ali said, You gotta believe you're a champion. If you aren't, pretend you are.

I know you say you don't care about working out, but you gotta exercise. You're heavy but not that heavy, find a way to lift if you can, and if you can't do push-ups and squats. This will help you build confidence. Either that or start abusing dopaminergic stims and become a weird stim addict.

Don't take this the wrong way, but the thing about thinking laughing is always about you reminds me of this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-gift-aging/201304/people-autism-spectrum-disorder-take-things-literally

Long story short, you shouldn't give a fuck if people are laughing at you. Just do you, you don't need to live for their approval.

As far as your roommate goes, it doesn't sound TOO bad, unless he's talking really loud or something. Just suck it up and think of it as motivation to get out of that nursing home anyway possible.

A better life is possible and you CAN do it. You just gotta believe and stop thinking you can't do it.
Henry Neppernot - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:06:29 EST ID:iojGAeYd No.514922 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sounds like you jack-off too much. Or have in the past and that you're suffering from sexual exhaustion. I could be wrong. Anyway, everything in life is better once you activate monk mode. Start eating well and taking supplements, see a dietician about a genes test and learn about what your body needs to make you less stressed or less sissy

Blunted affect, lack empathy, can't form emotional attachments or bonds by Ebenezer Fillyfield - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 22:45:05 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514591 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Anyone here suffer from any of these problems and have any advice on getting any of these back? I had a concussion like 10 years ago and suffered a lot of emotional turmoil and have since lost these things. I've managed to become more well-adjusted and can cope well enough, but I feel like it's leaving me with a diminished quality of life. It would be nice to experience these things again. I don't actually "feel" my emotions, but it's clear sometimes through my behavior in whatever situation I'm in that I'm actually experiencing that emotion on some level, but it isn't mentally registering as that emotion and I just don't feel any different. Happiness, depression, sadness, being upset, etc. are all more or less just words to me, they don't really mean anything any more.

As far as emotional attachments go, I've had quite a few family members die over the last couple years and I haven't felt anything over the fact they're gone. I don't have a bad relationship with my sister or parents, yet the thought of them dying doesn't elicit any kind of emotional reaction from me and I really doubt them dying would actually bother me at all. I used to feel like I could cry if my best friend died, but over the last 4 years I've slowly had my opinion on that change. We're just as good of friends as ever, but I just don't think him dying would mean more to me than not being able to hang out with him anymore.
Martha Blimmerteck - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 23:56:57 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514594 Ignore Report Quick Reply
keep being in and trying to be in the situations where you can register your behaviors.

Behaviors are our minds link to emotions, identity, psychology, and knowing and sense memory of things.

They also explain liminal existence.

Some things are felt or experienced and then felt as escaping us do to past difficulty.

Not exactly a concussion here so can't completely objectively say, but had some dissassociative experiences in the past.

My emotive, memories, social boundaries are slowly coming back to me, through some extremely difficult experiences that often even manifest in real world situations from other people.

Which blurs the line and reminds you of the easier but perhaps longer path of understanding the inside you through isolation.

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David Bubberway - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:17:43 EST ID:PiDMdgO6 No.514602 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Do you have religion? It's cool if you don't, no one really does anymore if they think about things. There are some good things you can take from a religious mentality.

Try to find inherent meaning in some activity. It's pretty tough, because all to often everything feels meaningless, but find that one thing that you can DO that feels REAL. No matter how stupid [I rode motorcycles] or pointless [singing by myself in the forest when I can't sing all that well]. Just ignore the rationality that holds you down, ignore the feeling of molecularity, you aren't just a particle in a stream even if that's what everyone is trying to tell you. No particle is as capable as a human.

I'm reading a book right now, the main character, Gnossos, often describes a feeling that you gotta have 'no valence', you gotta just be cool.

I thought that was a chemistry thing but then I looked it up and learned the definition of the word ambivalence. SO

Don't be Ambivalent, just have no valence, rock your lack of concern and change the world with the power that comes from it
Nathaniel Himmledere - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 14:09:17 EST ID:wyEdwSdJ No.514914 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Try small things first.

I'm similar, last summer I started enjoying the sun and how nice flowers smell.
First objectively, then subjectively. Felt happy.

kinda want to kill myself and kinda not by Phineas Pillerpere - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 07:38:08 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.514802 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have wanted to kill myself for many years now. I'm a lazy coward so it's unlikely that I'll ever do it but I can't stop wanting it.

Mostly I want to kill myself because I can't think of a better option.
I know approximately how my life will turn out because I have found out my capabilities.
There are many things I don't really know about my future but there's like a set of different things where it's almost entirely certain that it will be something like that.

My life is kinda half decent now and I can get by but it will just get worse and my life isn't good enough to keep for several decades more, I'll just be more and more miserable.

Now I'm 25 and work a very simple job (part time) and live with my mom. 0 friends or girls or anything.
I can get by fine with my low salary as long as I keep living here but I really don't want to stay here for too long.
I won't be able to move out for at least a few more years because of the housing situation here and once I moved out I would be poor becuase of the higher costs.
I also won't be able to get a better job, I might be able to find something with 40 hours per week instead of 30 but it will still be the simplest shit possible. I might go crazy after many years of being stuck in a dead end like that.
My current job doesn't provide valuable experience and will never lead to anything new.

I'm pretty sure I will never have a friend and unless I can move to another country I will also never have any romantic love.
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Phoebe Grimhall - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 18:05:53 EST ID:JyAen2RO No.514874 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Trade schools are really easy. The course work is simple and straightforward, and half the time you'll be in a lab doing practical application. All you have to do is show up and at least be half awake to pass. The only downside is trade schools usually don't grant any time off for breaks other than one week for the holidays
Sophie Clayspear - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:03:53 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.514881 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I made contact with a guy that sells a substance which is very effective for an easy and painless suicide.
I'm very conflicted about this and mostly I wish I could figure out a better option with the help of someone else but I have no friend or anything to discuss it with.
Betsy Grimway - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:11:19 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.514910 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have enough money to live frugally in poor countries for at least half a year.
There's also a very cute and nice girl in Thailand who likes me.
If I kill myself I should go there and live pleasantly as long as possible first but then after living like that for a long time, maybe I wouldn't be able to kill myself any more. Unfortunately I wouldn't have any options then since I would have no money and no job.

Damn it I don't know what to do and I have no one to help me figure it out either since I don't have any friends.
Nigel Murdstock - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:04:21 EST ID:Lmqk3xBS No.514911 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Go to Thailand and make sure you save enough money for a ticket back
Phineas Greenville - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:08:58 EST ID:YTmX5v3D No.514912 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think it would be easier to kill myself there than here and if i quit my job and spent all my savings, suicide or being a hobo are my only options.

"It Comes in Threes" by Oliver Grandwill - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:25:41 EST ID:K4QTRcmJ No.514897 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>Find out girlfriend needs emergency surgery, chance she could die

>Find out car needs $1500 repair

>Find out HOA has raised monthly rates $60 (shit adds up)

wew lads, good thing i cope with stress moderately well, still feelin it though. making poor choices and self medicating with alcohol and weed! anyone got a trio of shit sandwiches they've had to eat lately?
Albert Hevingdale - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:03:45 EST ID:vATdGl2v No.514909 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Not too recent, but it was after I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years
>find out ex is sleeping with who I thought was a good friend of mine weeks after we broke up (bro code argument)
>also find out she'd been cheating on me throughout our relationship
>realize she was seeing some dude named Jack around the same time she got pregnant (abortion). I found this out well after we stuck through that turmoil, I was 100% there to support her and even paid for half of the abortion procedure which was a total of $1600. I'll never get my money back for paying for an abortion of a child that might not have even been mine

Washed my dick and kept it movin', etc etc. but dam that got me drinking heavily for a long while after learning all of this at once

Chin up bro, drink lots of water
Shitting Blatherdale - Thu, 30 Mar 2017 03:25:05 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.514942 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Rent just went up by 30%, jury duty next week, and I'm sick

Still better than 2016

Emotions by Phoebe Coddlelock - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 10:30:01 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.514805 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I just got dumped yesterday by this girl I was dating. We'd been going out for a couple months, were pretty much in love, then, while she was travelling in another country, something happened and everything went to shit. We took some time (one month) and yesterday we got together to talk.

I told her I was in love with her, and that I wanted to be with her. She told me, between lines at least, that she'd also been in love with me, but that she couldn't understand why we didn't say that to each other before she went on travelling, while we were on the coup of the relationship. Why did we hold it in? Why did we try to control that? While she was travelling, some dude she met for like 3 days told her he was in love with her. That's when things went south for me and her. -now this is me thinking- he showed her something I don't have. I'm not an emotional or impulsive type. I am sweet and caring, but I am also really rational. I have a hard time freely expressing myself (I can't write or sing or dance or pretty much any artistic expression, even though I study something art-related). I'd never confessed my love like that to anyone before, and even as I said that, she told me "You see? even now, that you're expressing your feelings, you sound so straight, so controlled". That was the fatal blow. What am I supposed to do? If even when I'm expressing myself more than I'd ever done it, I'm still a robot, how am I supposed to get out of this box?

On top of it I'd just started therapy, and my therapist told me that was exactly my problem, and that we had to work on that, and that probably this girl felt that and distanced herself because of it. It really sucks. I wish I could've been a bit different.
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Phoebe Grimhall - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 18:18:40 EST ID:JyAen2RO No.514875 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It sounds like she wanted to seem deep by showing you some thing she thought could speak for her, but she was lazy about it and didn't actually know what she was talking about and tried to use some other dummy emotion song as a cop out. Pretty shitty if you ask me. Fuck that girl.
Betsy Summersat - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:38:59 EST ID:IKovhiIi No.514883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She sounds like a typical borderline personality disordered girl, stay away from her a while and you will realise she isn't what you want, Godspeed OP, love you homes
Albert Chullywill - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 13:38:52 EST ID:53VoAYvR No.514886 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You probably aren't being irrational. She was probably using blaming you to keep the heat off her. I've been fucked over by a BPD girl and that is basically what she'd do and it ate at me and then I realised it was 60% bullshit and 30% exaggeration.

I would put less stock in her words. Being rational is the only way to be, rational, logical is how we get the most value out of life. But before you say that's cold and meaningless you should ask what is value? Feelings.

There's a balance, a compromise that is both warm and rational. You should not exclude one to reach the other. You should not tell someone you love them without being sure, without understanding those feelings are real and why. You shouldn't need to write down truly strong feelings to pass them on. Maybe to first put them out there so you can see them but a confession of love shouldn't need that effort. I think she was mostly just negging you to keep you on the backfoot though.

Ever heard the suggestion when making your mind up about something to write down all the pros and cons in a list and then go with what feels right?
Edward Busslehitch - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:25:37 EST ID:K4QTRcmJ No.514890 Ignore Report Quick Reply
well op...

  1. if both she and your therapist are saying it, its probably true and probably something to reflect on for self-improvement

2. she has 0 respect or desire for you and any energy you invest trying to win her over will only deepen her disdain for you and your own self-loathing. the only way to get "out of this box" is to completely sever all ties with her like a guillotine.
Clara Dronkinhod - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 09:20:47 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.514908 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I agree with this guy. I think he got taken in by the ultimate seduction that girls with BPD provide. Those are classic techniques they use against unwitting men to make them love them before utterly destroying them.

OP I highly recommend you read this article:

I'm sorry by Esther Saffinghood - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 05:18:12 EST ID:6Y23Um/F No.514903 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I want to apologize to everyone I've hurt and misunderstood, on this site or otherwise. I'm sorry. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I will try my best to not let it.
Edward Bebberwet - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 08:10:35 EST ID:35+jbzpY No.514905 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This post should be crossposted to every other board on this entire site, with the exception of /jenk/ and /pol/ because those are joke boards
Phyllis Godgedeg - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 08:30:14 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.514906 Ignore Report Quick Reply

you dont seem very repentant op.

That being said no one knows who you are so saying sorry is a little pointless.
Augustus Bisslecocke - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 22:06:04 EST ID:ZPCdDLz2 No.514927 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're right. It is pointless.

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