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Thoughts are driving me crazy by Albert Wevingsot - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 14:27:13 EST ID:RBPnfLTs No.513809 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>tl;dr What do you call negative memories that won't leave your mind?

I get into these spells where I can't stop thinking about the past. Typically they're all negative memories that induce a feeling of anger, which stem from being hurt or being wronged. I've figured out I'm mostly mad at myself for how I handled the situation, but I'm not sure what to do with that information.

I'll think about these memories constantly. And it's not one thing in particular, it's a multitude of memories that date back to elementary school.

I think it's anxiety induced because the symptoms are increased significantly when I'm at work, where I'm constantly anxious and stressed out.

Anyway, I need professional help, because I'm missing a lot of work and my behavior is being affected by it. What I need to know is what kind of professional help to get. I've figured therapy would be the best bet, but what kind of therapy should I seek out?
Samuel Gillyfoot - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 14:57:41 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513810 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm not sure about a type of therapy because one thing about therapy is that it is all in your head, that's the point. So whatever it is you have to vibe with the therapist and their style whatever that is. If you do not feel it'll work it won't. That's key.
Lillian Trotdale - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 20:04:24 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513831 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Talk to a professional about intrusive thoughts. If you talk to a physician first, then ask them if they can recommend you to a good psychiatrist or psychologist (only difference is the former can prescribe medication on their own, the latter just has a doctor in their office write the script for them). Intrusive thoughts that you can't control can be indicative of some kind of obsessive disorder or some other mood-related disorder that deserves some professional attention.
Caroline Pittwill - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 04:14:25 EST ID:RVEMMAaH No.513840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I feel you man I'm kind of the same, I find I always think about negative things I did in the past, things I said out of anger, jealousy, hate, good people I treated wrong, I was cold. I often think of how I treated a person I fell in love with, how I acted over reacted my foul words that's been said; I burnt many bridges back in my younger days.

Today I still think of those memories and every time I do I feel a heavy uneasy feeling in my chest almost effecting my breathing; I feel held back from life at times, I get this feeling everyday some days not as bad other days it kills me, my mood can be very happy then can drastically change, gets hard some times really does. I came to a conclusion that I do believe I have some sort of disorder it's like a depression and anxiety combination, whatever it is I feel like it everyday.

In public or even when I'm just by myself I handle it quite well, I always try to smile find reasons to laugh I always try crack jokes, I like to try make people smile and always admiring the little things. I really enjoy soulful music any type of music that has an positive outlook on life and the outdoors, love fishing and hunting, visiting with the good friends shooting guns. I try to keep positively occupied to keep me from feeling negative thinking negative but like I said I feel it everyday.

I don't attach myself to people I prefer keeping what I feel to myself reason is because I strongly dislike comforting from people, I thought of professional help before but thought it through and felt it wasn't for me I don't agree with telling someone everything about me then later being prescribed medication and being looked at as somebody that's emotionally unstable. I figure the good things in life is therapy, art, family, guitar, the outdoors, stars, future, talking about good memories with family and friends, healthy living, sleep patterns, writing, reading etc.

Everybody is different though, if you feel you need professional help you should get some before it gets worst bud

just wanna talk by Fuck Bugglecocke - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 23:15:30 EST ID:whZm+REk No.513835 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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hey /qq/
just wanted to get some things off my chest.
I want to kill myself. I want all of these things to end.
I'm a drug addict. I know I should quit, but fuck that just seems impossible, even when everything in my life says I should quit.

Im a mtf trans but I still look like a dude so much even after starting hormones. Noone wants to date me, at all. (Gay) Men want me for sex, women find me grotesque. Ive had women laugh in my face when they found out. People say I'm a good looking man, but I'm not a man :(.

I cant even have casual sex if I wanted to (which I dont, at all). My ass is messed up from being raped, so its crazy tight and bleeds all the time, even when I poop, much less something going inside it. And trying to be the penetrative partner is usually a clusterfuck, either I cum super fast or I dont cum at all and cant keep it up.

Its hard being alone, but Ive been getting used to it. At this point I'm so much of a weirdo freak I cant imagine anyone actually being with anyone. Only God knows how I managed to meet women in the past, but I can't fuckin do it now. Sigh, I'm such a freak. I miss my exs all the time, wish I hadn't broken up with them. But I did, and now theyre both way happier, they both got married in the past 6 months (to men) and they seem much much happier. Certainly happier than theyd be with me. So I'm glad for them (honestly).

I dont really have any real friends. But I guess thats just cuz I'm an asshole and a piece of shit. Honestly its probably better for people to stay away from me.

I'm not totally broke now, so at least I have that going for me. But ugh its been such a shitty weekend, spent so much money and its all because of drugs.
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Augustus Brabblekerk - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 02:12:27 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.513838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
if long-term psychotherapy, HRT, psychiatric drugs, meditation, bullshit self-help books/groups, fad diets, credulous nootropics, seeking god etc. doesn't work rec drugs are the only thing that will salve the pain on this earth

sorry, OP. practice harm reduction and disregard self-righteous faggots.
Charlotte Duttingham - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 03:40:30 EST ID:Lga8AOAo No.513839 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Honestly, it's going to take a lot of work for you to be happy again.

You need to feel comfortable with yourself first.

Make yourself feel pretty again, if youre trans, I recommend a low calorie diet in addition to cardio and leg exercises. Also, yoga!

Depending on what drugs you use, stop or switch. Most opioids and stims are shit. Find something cheap and easy on your health.

Most importantly, stop having anal sex until you heal. If a guy only wants you for that, he's prob just going to leave. Start a real relationship.

This is all easier said than done, but just working on yourself a little bit every day can make you feel happy even if youre not getting results. Making an effort shows you aren't just giving up.

Hope everything works out, I feel for you.

Does anybody else fantasize about death/suicide? by Shitting Nondleham - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 16:10:30 EST ID:gsWNvXfE No.513693 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I wouldn't say I'm suicidal and would most likely shit myself in the face of death but I find myself constantly thinking about dying and killing myself. It's just something I do when I'm feeling pretty low (which is more often than not) or often just because I'm bored. It's like a sick fantasy I play over in my head; I picture everybody at my funeral and I picture my last thoughts. It doesn't make me happy nor does it make me sad, it's just a place I go to from time to time on a daily basis.

Like I said; I wouldn't actively kill myself. I just like to think about it, maybe a little too much though. Does anybody else do this?
Shit Bundledock - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 19:50:45 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.513791 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I used to do that a lot when I was feeling really stressed out and wanted to just give up. It was just a fun fantasy to imagine all your problems in life no longer mattering, I didn't actually want to be dead forever. I don't do it anymore though, not sure why.
Edwin Happermere - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:08:42 EST ID:6Y23Um/F No.513792 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I actually really hate the idea of dying when I'm at a low point
It's when I'm at my high points where I feel like I should die right then and there before I fall back down again
I don't give a shit about funerals and whatnot, I just hope people will wish me well while I'm on my way instead of feeling unhappy
Nicholas Sarrydock - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 06:13:21 EST ID:qDgNA3C6 No.513799 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Maybe probe a little deeper. When I'm very stressed thinking about dying, right this instant, vividly imagining my final moments, is actually very centering. Perhaps it's a soothing reminder that this moment is all we actually have, that our strifes and worries pass like clouds across the sky. I feel like it tunes me into what matters again, pulls me out of my bullshit.

When I'm just bored though I just fantasise about hot babes, dunno what your problem is lol
Phyllis Lightgold - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 06:48:49 EST ID:jq0HRzVy No.513800 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes, I imagine myself jumping to my death in detail, the descent, the force of the impact. I'm generally dissatisfied with life so I guess I imagine these things as a sort of defence mechanism from complete depression because it makes me feel that there's an emergency exit available whenever I want which would nullify my existence. It calms me but it's obviously a symptom of a negative mental condition.
George Clanninglock - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 01:47:48 EST ID:W5RktZIh No.513837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Multiple times a day, every day, for long periods of time. Lately I've been trying to figure out how to do it and still have life insurance payout for my girlfriend if she hasn't left me

Reverse Elitism by Cyril Punkinham - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 00:47:37 EST ID:xQY7/x+6 No.513836 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Venting here

I moved to a lower income area a year ago to relax and lead a new hobby. It's been fantastic for the most part.

One thing bugs me every now and then- I'm an outsider and some locals treat me like shit.

Most of the people here grew up in the area and that's cool and all. Problem is they have this guard up about me because I have a college degree and traveled a bit. Like, I'm not allowed to join any "serious" conversations or I get the "see that's why I hate you stuck up college kids" or (sarcastically) "well listen to him he's BEEN there so he knows."

I don't force ideas or anything, I don't talk down to people! I feel like if I'm not making a joke or keeping conversation casual, I'm making someone feel insecure. Dammit I just want to be friends and chat!

Fuck it I'm moving again, I tried guys

Nof of the times by Matilda Gallerhidging - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 09:30:26 EST ID:TX3Ezud6 No.513633 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do you deal with being very monogamous in these days? I'm not christian, but essentially I carry the morality of biblian relationships, if I could have chose it I would have wanted to be with only one person. And I'm not one of those glasshouse people who wants girls to be pure but wants to fuck around themselves, I've only been with three people at my now age of 22, all of them only because I liked them alot and would have been prepared to stay with them permanently. But as now the morality is that everybody should fuck around and be slutty shamelessly, and it keeps fucking me up when I fall for a girl and of course she has fucked around the world. It's not special to me anymore, they become meat. I can't change, it's deep in who I am. What is a conservative mind to do in modern proud slut mentality times?
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Fucking Snodson - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 16:20:41 EST ID:ngLYHpR4 No.513654 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>While I only had 3 partners before hand.
Wow, that's funny. I've got 4 different hot fuck buddies currently. I think I've fucked well over 20 different women at this point, and what a good time almost all of us had.

No wonder you're so fucking insecure.
Ernest Sodgenuck - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 16:25:25 EST ID:L9nj8E8K No.513655 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The fact that you felt the need to post that makes you sound pretty insecure.
Matilda Gallerhidging - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 17:54:06 EST ID:TX3Ezud6 No.513657 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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But that's kinda where I think the bible got it right. About the purity / ignorance. Magic is what you don't know how it works, and likewise a relationship based on ignorance, exploring and getting to know everything together feels magical. And when you think about it, the part about two becoming one makes sense, since only one of you need to fuck up, to lose your key to heaven, heaven being able to trust and share yourself with that special someone fully, losing that magical place that is your first real relationship, where there is no emotional baggage, no kneejerk reactions left from previous runs. Now when I say bible I should say that I haven't actually ever read the bible, but it's kinda common knowledge, the basics of christian marriage and such.

I assume by physically caught between you mean attracted to two girls at the same time? Or actually fucking around with two at once? If the former, of course people are attracted to people outside of the relationship, what matters is if they actually want or feel like they need to act on it. I've been flirted with by chicks whom I held attraction for, without feeling a need to threaten the relationship I was in.

The same with looking at all those people in a sexual weighing way, of course it's done, of course she'll do it too. I have no troubles with that. It's the same as with porn, you don't become a slut because you have a pornographic interest, and I'd have no problem with finding a GFs porn stash folder. I have trouble with the looseness, it's not anything special she's giving me, it's just something she does. A massage would be more intimate. In short, I have no trouble with my other someone having a sexuality and exploring it on their own, I have trouble if having it shared with you isn't anything special.

But your last sentence really struck me. I'll have to ponder on that one.

I know trolls should not be fed, but so what? I said in the OP I know more standard well adapted inviduals have no trouble with the world as it is. Women more loose, you get more flesh. I don't care if you get or don't. But I don't want just flesh.
Sophie Brellystone - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:00:32 EST ID:DO2XU782 No.513821 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Do what I have, devote yourself to a life of celibacy
Fanny Ferringford - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 21:54:02 EST ID:4IE9Wl/L No.513834 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How do you like your ego stroked? Soft and gentle? Hard and fast?

It's always those who throw out numbers, notches on the bedpost, that are truly insecure and likely embellishing. Christ.

Fentanyl by Priscilla Honeyville - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:58:54 EST ID:FF+q83Dm No.513806 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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~4 minutes to clock in to work. Pretty sure I almost died while running around making sure the idiots around me didn't die. Also destroyed already ruined romantic possibilities. Ugh.
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Jarvis Cundlespear - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 14:50:25 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.513827 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yeah, so fuck 'em! Throw them in a ditch and bury them. Fuck humans! Just abandon people when they fuck up in life, muh social darwinist fantasies will tell me I'm """"improving the species""""" by being a callous fuckwad.

Everyone's miserable these days because of people like you. People who turn tail and run at the first sign of shit because you don't want to get your hands covered in it. Shitty situations go unresolved, society declines further, schools get shot up, people join terrorist movements or edgy political movements online.

>All I care about is myself

Then you don't even need advice. Fuck off and run, coward.
Hugh Hidgeway - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:14:08 EST ID:9B6U+M4D No.513828 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dude, do you know how much it sucks getting a junkie off dope? You're not gonna help them until they severely fuck up anyway. Trying to "save" them will just make you target number one when they decide to rob someone.
Jarvis Cundlespear - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 18:25:22 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.513829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Heroin epidemic, people dying from OD every day
>let's just abandon all the fucking junkies, FUCK EM they won't learn until they OD anyway hahaha all junkies will mug you anyway LMAO purge them and make the human species gr8er

Your bullshit justifications based off of online cold reading make me want to heave. Enjoy your cognitive dissonance while the bodies of young people stack up in the hospital beds around the country, coward.
William Gaffingwore - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 20:05:07 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513832 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What is your problem?

You're not completely wrong but you've completely lost your shit without even trying to engage rationally or make sense. There is a huge range of problems and you can't just lump them into a problem and throw resources at it blindly. You're conflating several very different groups of people in your posts.

Fentanyl abuse is a symptom. Serious drug problems are not really a problem so much as the result of something that has gone unsupported and untreated. If OP has tried to help these people stop already and they have refused then well.. there's a lot of people not that far gone who WILL benefit from that energy. Those people include OP. I'm all for helping the vulnerable but I think when you've got limited resources you've got to pick the ones which will yield results rather than just suck up your energy like a black hole until you join them. OP sounds pretty frayed up and honestly he's as valid a source for help as anyone else.

Drug problems are a symptom of a bigger disease, you're right but you're not looking at it rationally at all. Opiate addicts do not join terrorist cells for example. They die or recover. School shooters and terrorists aren't even the same people who diverged in their path though. The only thing that have in common is they can be saved much earlier. If you want to stop these things you should be helping people before they're utterly destroyed not after they've gone so far they actively fight your help.

Maybe OP has never said "guys you've gone too far". That is a good point. He should ask these guys if they want to stop. If they don't though he can't help them. Another thing I've learned from lurking the boards here is that most opiate users actually will fight the idea they have a problem and insist they are in control. Maybe I'm wrong and yes it's worth trying but don't be surprised if they get upset at the thought they have a problem. As I said, it's not that they can't be helped or we shouldn't want to help them, it's that the energy used to get through to them might save a lot of other people who won't actively fight …
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Lillian Trotdale - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 20:31:49 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513833 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Depending on this dude's relationship with his roommates, why the fuck is he responsible for them? Unless there are any really good friendships in the mix, how the fuck is it going to help for him to enable their use by taking care of them when they're too fucked to themselves? It's a shitty situation all around, but there's no good reason OP should be responsible for all of them, especially when you haven't suggested actually getting any of them help, but simply not abandoning them, effectively saying that they should just continue to enable their drug abuse that's gone too far at this point... as if that "helps" anybody. As it stands the whole house is a sinking ship, and everyone is going to drown. If OP leaves, at least somebody made it out.

Honestly, even if this does have to do with friendships, depending on the circumstances, I'd still say the same thing. The only reason I can think of for you (Jarvis) to explode like this without having any real kind of grasp on the situation is because something happened to you or somebody you know, and so you're reacting purely out of emotion. Only one person in this thread was all that harsh regarding these guys' drug activity and said "fuck em", and this eugenics horse shit you're throwing out is pretty ridiculous. Calm the fuck down jolly african-american.

tfw by Rebecca Crandertat - Sat, 18 Feb 2017 13:01:32 EST ID:bmlptvuc No.513541 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>tfw no hot, drug friendly gf
>tfw will never have mind blowing sex on psys or mdma
>tfw nobody to talk about past trips as you cuddle under the blanket smoking a spliff
why even live
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Phyllis Fenderstire - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:14:44 EST ID:UjNuOR6B No.513817 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i wonder why this says "elixir of artful cryptology" on it?

having studied cryptology (as a computer science major) i do not see the connection. is this elixir allowing one to see secret codes or something?

nb because im probably an idiot
George Buzzfoot - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:29:59 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513819 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's Cursive's elixir of ...

Cursive was a celebrated transexual camwhore if you ask most people. From what I've seen I'd say a celebrated liar to people on the internet mostly.
Wesley Billingville - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 23:19:02 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.513822 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I think she became too permafried to post anymore, even after the trips were taken away on /dis/.

I didn't dislike her/him, though.
Emma Binkinnetch - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 01:35:05 EST ID:sFkKVhrT No.513823 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I had a problem with them because they just seemed a little too full of themselves.
Hugh Hidgeway - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 14:37:58 EST ID:9B6U+M4D No.513826 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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They're tryna bring them back. I think cursive still posts very occasionally.

It's a way to maximize the effects of DXM. Say what you want about cursive, but that particular thing xe made was well put-together.

Yeah it was a stupid time.

Looking for help in overcoming negative personality traits by Jack Pickshit - Thu, 16 Feb 2017 17:50:27 EST ID:nj/9ZEXo No.513488 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My mother and father are both narcissists.

My mother spent most of the time on the phone with her back turned to me. The television always had Jerry Springer, Maury, and the like on. She guilt tripped me for being sick. Eventually, I stopped existing once it became obvious that I wasn't ever going to be "right," even after I'd been placed on Zoloft at the age of ten. She left my father and came back multiple times. On the last and final time, she left me behind. The time before, she'd left my brother and myself. She has always been an alcoholic.

My father never made efforts to get to know me, although he was present. The only time he spoke to me was when he wanted something done. He cited being a supervisor as the reason. He was verbally and physically abusive. My knee is permanently damaged from when he was "playing" with me, even though i was begging him to stop and telling him that he was hurting me. He laughed. Turns out he has always been a pill head.

I can't remember having a conversation with either of my parents. Neither of them really know anything about me.

This was all preface, mind you. I can't do anything about any of it. I'd like to get over where it has left me. Any resources or advice is appreciated for helping to overcome these.

>Self sabotaging

>Asshole in conversations
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Hannah Brezzlestone - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:45:23 EST ID:GV9SUhOg No.513701 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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They're out of my life. Thank you for the suggestion. Hopefully there is a community that I fit; I'm honestly not a fan of the average person, by and large. It seems like it'd not fit a healing environment.


I haven't. It feels wrong, but I'm getting to the point that it doesn't matter to me anymore. When I ask people it's genuine. Need to drop my naive sense of right and wrong. Thanks for replying, dude.
Cedric Pittspear - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 20:04:29 EST ID:tDogmvzg No.513702 Ignore Report Quick Reply

How is that being fake? Seems like normal conversation making to me.

OP, I had terrible parents too. It can get better. I recommend seeing someone who knows about these things since there are almost certainly specific methods of addressing these things (problems stemming from narcissistic parenting, etc.). There are people whose business is to know this shit and help people like you.

Generic advice, be honest with yourself, try your best to accurately name and describe your issues and honestly make an effort to become better. It will make a huge difference.
Reuben Clagglemig - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 23:50:44 EST ID:JnKp3kh4 No.513711 Ignore Report Quick Reply
it hadn't even occurred to me that you still talked to your parents lol
Simon Sorryhood - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 12:41:51 EST ID:thzqJDH1 No.513786 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My dad used to yell and scream at me and use intimidation tactics with me all the time. My ma bailed for england when i was 17.

I was pretty fucked up, but heres how i got less fucked up.

I left for college. Got out of their influnce.

Got a degree and built a career in chem. I built something for myself that proved to me that i can succeed.

Cant quite figure out the relationship aspect, but I've always had a gf.

Still somewhat low empathy, but i can connect with animals well. I feel like their non verbals teach you how empathy, since you have to translate their actions into how they feel.

Try meditation. It does much much more than self awareness. Mindfullnesd meditation will help most. Sorry for typos, drinking in an airport on phone
Phyllis Fenderstire - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:26:13 EST ID:UjNuOR6B No.513818 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what happened with your knee? :c

Do I cut them out of my life, or continue to attempt to build a relationship? by Jenny Clottingridge - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 23:17:22 EST ID:P0U35MoQ No.513795 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>abused as a child
>physically, helicopter parenting, private school as well as emotionally thrashed daily)
>move out at 18 once father assaults girlfriend
>make 700$ month and get a shitty 400$ apt (400$...in LA)
>build self a business
>living pretty nice actually
>reach out
>they are housing, feeding, and clothing 8+ bible college students
>dont even address me when I am there
>wont admit to any wrongdoing
>see and hear from my sister that he basically buys them shit, takes them out to do shit

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Phoebe Brittinghall - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 10:26:29 EST ID:TX3Ezud6 No.513804 Ignore Report Quick Reply
From what I hear you aren't getting anything of emotional value out of seeing them, or rather, you're getting negative emotional value out of it. People don't really change, and I'd doubt that you will ever get any kind of apoligies or confirmation that they know they fucked up, that they're sorry. Either because most people can't handle actually acknowledging things buried deep that hurt them, bringing them up to the surface, or because maybe they plain just never cared or noticed that they did any harm.

So I say, only see them if they are actually people you like, if you get something out of being there. Don't force yourself into something that's just bearing down on you when you get nothing in return.

And as Shit above me said, there's no need to cut anything. Show up maybe once a year or something, or if they get in touch and say you should come over. But don't get bothered up about it. Though cutting all ties always sounds appealing.
Frederick Cruddlestock - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:33:11 EST ID:RJiIWOVn No.513805 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How the fuck did you get a $400 apartment?
In Los Angeles.
Samuel Gillyfoot - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 12:25:40 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513808 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Cut them out but leave the door open. They're either taking you for granted or don't give a fuck.

Parents are people, you don't keep making an effort if they're shits. It validates them. Leave a line open if they won't harass you and let them pick the phone up. Move on with your life never expecting them to call. If you can't handle that perhaps wish them goodbye and good luck in case they don't. Openly if need be.

I think there's a point where you should walk and there's a point where your dad should have gone to prison but I'm sure he's a "fine upstanding member of the community". They've got a few years to decide they care to have enough time to at least start to make it up to you still.

Also if they do reach out make sure it's not a token effort. No ultimatums because they give exact minimum standards.
Jenny Clottingridge - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 18:15:39 EST ID:P0U35MoQ No.513815 Ignore Report Quick Reply
every contact with them, which was 1x-2x a year would make me get into a depressive state.

I told everything to my psych and they are iterating what you guys are: if you are negatively effected and they show no signs of reaching out, fuck them and move on. Dont do some grand "FUCK YOU IM LEAVING FOR GOOD", just leave like a ghost.

even making plans to cut them off feels good.

But the dark side of my wants to hire random community college actors to pretend to be relatives that dont exist so I can fool my dying parents into thinking they have dementia as they dwindle into the abyss
Jenny Clottingridge - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 18:19:04 EST ID:P0U35MoQ No.513816 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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5x5 room.
No access to kitchen. Bathroom is in a community center's pool that is 50 feet from the door.
Illegal immigrants renting the place to me
2 couples with newborns living in living room
drunk day laborers that give me shit when I drink water from the sink

Surreal Feelings toward Exes by Simon Croffinghood - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 10:53:45 EST ID:QVcoJ6HE No.513634 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey /qq/

I had a girlfriend in high school for about a year. We broke up and she began dating a friend of mine. I lost touch with her for about 9 years, was glancing at a friend's online profile when I saw her in his pics, apparently they are dating. Went through to her profile, saw that she had dated like 4 of my friends from high school lol.

But here is what my thread is about: not longing for an ex or heartbreak, but just that "... woah man ..." feeling you can sometimes get about an ex. Three of my ex girlfriends are married now. Two of them have children now. Isn't it just kind of strange to think that people who were once your mate, are now completely off in a completely different world, like life just moves through chapters and things are always changing. It's just weird to think about, I guess I'm just rambling. Not even nostalgia is what I'm feeling, just... Camus-like amusement at the absurdity of the human experience, or something, man.
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Frederick Brookdock - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 17:25:54 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.513656 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yeah, i really like seeing how they turned out.
Caroline Bunhall - Tue, 21 Feb 2017 23:39:04 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.513659 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I totally get you. The same happens to me with my highschool gf. I don't know what is it about ex-girlfriends that produce these feelings, the same doesn't happen to me with childhood friends or something like that. Like, last time I was with her (we'd already broke up years ago) I was amazed that I remembered her as a 14yo girl, and we were now working and studying, and planning on moving on our own. It just made me actually realize that time goes by. We do get older. Things do change. Now she's living with some dude, planning on marrying him. She's really different from what she was 10 years ago, and I am as well. But we still kept contact and care for each other, that's nice.

I almost moved in with my last ex-gf. We broke up a bit less than a year ago and I haven't heard absolutely anything about her in the last year (and we study the same carreer at the same place). It's so strange to think that someone who practically took part in every decision you made every day, can suddenly become a complete stranger and be completely irrelevant to your everyday life. Just like if you'd never met her.
Angus Crandlelitch - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 01:54:43 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.513713 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Watch the movie Blue Jay. It's basically about this except the two run into each other like 20 years later or something. Pretty surreal. Kind of puts shit in perspective.
Martin Buzzhood - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:11:26 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.513801 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>tfw when they run into you fifteen years down the line you're still just a loser loveless NEET
David Grandway - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 18:44:33 EST ID:+lpBvEqu No.513830 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>It's so strange to think that someone who practically took part in every decision you made every day, can suddenly become a complete stranger and be completely irrelevant to your everyday life. Just like if you'd never met her.


vent by Cedric Parrydale - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:03:21 EST ID:K3jTXvYI No.513689 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've never fit in anywhere, I was alone throughout highschool. I moved to a different city to start college. It's been 2-3 years and I've never been able to complete a semester.

The first friend I made was a guy at my apartment complex. He started hanging out a lot, did a lot of drugs, and made plans to move in together. He overdosed on heroin in 2015; he survived but it was a really scary day for me. A month or two later he met a girl at a casino and they stole my car. I got the car back eventually, but I haven't heard from the guy since.

By the end of that fiasco, I was smoking a lot and abusing drugs heavily. I managed to get a few girlfriends, but all the relationships ended pretty bitterly. Mostly my fault, I think.
I fell in love with some schizophrenic girl. Really smart girl. I loved talking to her. She turned me down for months, but eventually we got together. The relationship lasted a week before she broke things off and never talked to me again. She said something about being too broken or emotionally dead, I don't remember. It's all kind of blurry

Around this time, I had a new roommate. We were pretty friendly. He ended up stealing $2500 worth of rent/utilities he owed to my parents. At the end of our lease, he destroyed the apartment and took off. I had to find another place to live on short notice. He had a lot of personal issues, shitty childhood, bad social circle, ect. I still don't really know what to make of it all.

I got into my new apartment in August 2016. I'm lonely. I have one friend, and he's cool, but I don't really have anybody to talk to. All my romantic flings have burned out. I don't even remember any other social connections I made in the past few years.

I'm addicted to amphetamines. I can't stop smoking. I don't want to clean my. I go days without shaving. My hygiene is suffering. I have cavities.

I have a job. I can't get into it at all, but it's really screwing with my head.
There are a lot of things I can't talk about here or anywhere. It's very frustrating. I'm keeping a lot of ongoing horrible stuff inside.
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Barnaby Sevingnit - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 17:41:50 EST ID:O0S23TOS No.513698 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You keep expecting people to be good, for things to be alright. They'll never be unless you do something about it.

You care and worry too mucha about what people think. Stop worrying if you have friends and do the shit that you can do when you can.
Reuben Bredgestot - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 17:55:29 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.513699 Ignore Report Quick Reply
my opinion is that your drug addiction is priority number one
i'm sorry for your roommate bullshit -- that's terrible.
sorry man i'm kind of lost too so i can't really say more with authority, but i know that i had no idea how badly i was fucking myself with drugs until i was able to stop them. thank God i did.
Clara Chosslechon - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 22:23:13 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.513706 Ignore Report Quick Reply
All I can say is that you seem to be choosing the wrong people to be friends with. I understand using drugs, but you don't need friends to do that.

I honestly think that you need to develop some self-respect. I mean, is it worth being not alone when the other people in your life are just going to fuck you over, or at least not care about you?
Shit Bundledock - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:10:19 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.513793 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You sound pretty depressed dude. If you've fallen into the trap of using drugs to compensate for negative emotions, you're just in for a world of pain. You need to cut the drugs out and think about what it is in life you really want.

I'd suggest sitting down and trying to plot out your life on paper from past to future. Write about the major events in your life, and reflect on how they shaped you starting from childhood. Once you've gotten to the present, allow yourself to dream of the future. Whatever it is you want, allow yourself to imagine having it, write about all the reasons you want the things you do and what it would feel like to have them. Then start working on a step by step plan for how to get there. It's amazing how much easier it is to stay motivated and achieve your goals when you've really thought about them and how to achieve them and put it all down in writing. It gives you focus and perspective and makes it easier to remember why you need to do the things you need to do.

Also, remember to love yourself and forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. If someone else lived your life and told you their story would you judge them harshly and be mean to them? If the answer is no, then don't judge yourself harshly and be mean to yourself, instead be kind and understanding.

Hand washing OCD by Barnaby Hevingmod - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 03:31:51 EST ID:2u33x6tL No.513558 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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For pretty much my entire life my biggest problem was that I was a dirty fuck and I never washed my hands, and now I can't stop washing my hands because I have come to realize over the past few months that everything is dirty as shit. After I touch anything that I think is "contaminated" (which is pretty much everything), I get stuck in the bathroom washing my hands over and over again. I wash my hands like a surgeon all the way up to my elbows, and if I accidentally touch the faucet or the sink drain or if my elbow knocks into the bathroom wall then I have to start all over again.

It's become a huge obstacle in my life because I'm scared of going outside and not being able to control how clean other people are, and it's extremely frustrating to be in a rush to get something done but I'm still stuck in the bathroom restarting my hand washing ritual for the 10th time.

Now I do everything in my power to avoid touching stuff and going to the bathroom because I know once I start washing my hands I can't stop. I hold my piss for hours so I don't go near the bathroom, and since I wash my hands before and after every meal, I only eat once a day now to avoid washing. I'm scared to death of touching or brushing past other people; even my own family and friends.

I understand the concept of good and bad bacteria, and I know that washing my hands for 30 seconds is more than adequate enough. But thinking logically doesn't calm my fears, and I can't just ignore or forget when I've touched something "contaminated". I've sincerely tried. I've tried not washing my hands for one night, and when I woke up the next morning I immediately remembered every single thing I touched and I felt like I contaminated my entire bedroom for not washing before sleeping.

Does anyone know if counseling works for this? Is this a mental thing that people can actually get over and be normal again, or is this something that stays with you forever once you develop these thought patterns?
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Barnaby Hevingmod - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 14:16:15 EST ID:2u33x6tL No.513586 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing all this out. This whole thing started last year because I got extremely sick (not from being a dirty fuck) and I was in and out of doctor's offices all the time because no one could figure out what was wrong. During one visit, I saw a really sickly patient with warts all over her face, and I shrank away because I remembered warts were contagious. Then I realized all the chairs I had sat on in the waiting and patient rooms were covered in layers and layers of contagious bacteria and viruses and fungus from all the other patients that had been in the office that day, so I went home, scrubbed my skin and threw away all the shit I touched after that appointment that I couldn't spray with Lysol. I've been hyper aware ever since.

I'm going to be following your plan starting today, and I hope in a few months time this will all be behind me.
Frederick Pindlebire - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 17:05:21 EST ID:LwFpqphT No.513589 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Can't really give you any better advice than the above poster but I just thought I'd say, I had this too a few years ago and I did overcome it. You will too :)
Nigel Buzzlepod - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 17:43:07 EST ID:5PuYdwXg No.513590 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Try taking some mescaline
Cornelius Fopperwater - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 20:43:45 EST ID:zQq0FmtW No.513596 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Used to have the same problem.

Unless you're a newborn or elderly, or have some sort of illness, there's no reason to worry. Our immune systems are strong as fuck and exposing yourself only makes it stronger.

Just get into that mindset.

2 years ago, I would clean the toliet seat every time I used it.

Today, I had to unclog our toliet by reaching in and grabbing a toliet brush that got stuck in there then cleaned up all the water that spilt over.

Thankfully, no poop was in there. But poop particles and bacteria were probably covered all over me.
Edwin Drussleway - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 11:34:50 EST ID:TQeGA7XC No.513765 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Fellow OCD sufferer here, it's fucking hell. My symptoms literally ruined my life, and I often contemplate suicide, but I will never give the universe that satisfaction.

I'm less about bacteria and more about sexual hangups, for example every time I masturbate I refuse to let anyone look at me or talk to me until I can shower and clean myself off. But I've got similar very handwashing compulsions. My hands are so stripped of their oils they've got that redness and I use so much moisturizer my hands have a completely different texture from the rest of my body.

It's par for the course that you know that not all bacteria are bad, but it's one of the unfortunate symptoms of OCD is that sufferers pretty frequently tend to be aware that what they are doing doesn't add up rationally. I think it has to do with the obsessive tenancies, we couldn't be obsessive psychos if our minds weren't capable of retaining vast amounts of data right? So it's only reasonable that we're more prone to becoming unhealthily self conscious about our defects without being g able to overcome them

I do find counseling helps, I know how painful exposure therapy can be but it has helped me sometimes. I recommend little stuff too like just seeing if you can go an extra 5 seconds longer than you thought before you NEED to wash, then maybe an extra 10, baby steps

Honestly what helped me more than anything is Xanax (or Weed, if available). The best way I can explain it is that I feel like my OCD lives in my mind and drugs like these get me distracted enough where I literally can't remember my compulsions. I don't have the attention span to be both high and hung up on everything.

Unfortunately I don't think there is a cure. I think this shit's a part of us bro. But I promise you, as someone who's been managing my symptoms for a decade now, if you practice hard and put your mind into training to try and get a bit more grounded, you can control it! I believe in you! It will always be with you but take it from me that it is manageable, you are the boss, you have to assert yourself or it will walk all over you! But if you reach down deep and tell it to fuck…
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