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#qq on IRC

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!GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST d5kHsYag No.518069
File: 1502640889138.jpg -(66697B / 65.13KB, 500x383) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. #qq on IRC
Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
378 posts and 65 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
William Hicklehut - Wed, 24 Jun 2020 15:20:54 EST qTml9FbR No.535050 Reply
>>534956

This. Ink, paint, or gtfo. Any "mistake" is just a happy accident waiting to be transformed into a new vision, and something to be learned from.
>>
Lillian Burringhood - Thu, 25 Jun 2020 09:54:07 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535072 Reply
>>535050
But that's not what he said. What he said was
>mistakes mean failure
Though actually what he means is
>I'm wasting your time.
At this point it's more likely he's a trolling than putting this much effort into "Low effort" rebuttals.

He was talking about drawing the owl not fine art. You've let him move the goalposts. Ignore him, stop him drowning out real people and real problems.
>>
Phyllis Shittingman - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 01:01:13 EST S6WwTyS/ No.535193 Reply
>>518069
I got off work and was tired and took a nap and now I feel guilty, should I feel guilty?

Finally got into unemployment and already fucked it up

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- Sat, 11 Jul 2020 14:52:39 EST 7mQGVnhJ No.535275
File: 1594493559887.jpg -(134399B / 131.25KB, 1300x866) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Finally got into unemployment and already fucked it up
I filed in the beginning of May and was only just approved. I started claiming weekly benefits during my time slot today, going all the way back to the week of March 31st, which is when my side job closed down because of COVID.

By the time I got to the week of 4/12 to 4/18, I listed that I didn't do any work, because my primary job is at a school and that was the week of our spring break.

After I hit submit, the system said that because I claimed a week with income followed by a week without, I had to reopen my claim and change something about question #1. I just tried doing that using my PIN and the site said "you could not be authenticated," with the only other option being to exit the application.

Am I fucked? I sent an email to my state's unemployment insurance director with the same information as in this post. I've never had to go through the whole unemployment process, so this is all new and confusing to me. I live in New Jersey, if that's helpful.
>>
Alice Smallworth - Sat, 11 Jul 2020 19:27:21 EST ehXzQxG7 No.535276 Reply
>>535275
Unemployment is fucked everywhere right now. I applied in March and my status had been "approved - in review" for months. You'll probably be without checks for a while but at this point, who knows?

Might as well watch Evangelion in the meantime to wait it out.

How do talk to wamen?

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- Sat, 04 Jul 2020 12:27:42 EST /WTRsasU No.535233
File: 1593880062622.jpg -(85266B / 83.27KB, 900x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do talk to wamen?
I used to suffer from pretty strong anxiety, to the point that I used a load of different drugs to deal with it (some legal, some not, some prescribed, some not). But After years I got myself mostly sorted out. I've not had anxiety or panic attacks for a couple years now.

But there's one area left that shoots me full of anxiety. Asking a woman out on a date. I lock up and feel deep fear of rejection and embarassment if I just walk up and be like "yo, wanna go to dinner?" I'm not even sure what the correct way to approach this is.

For real, I've had a few girlfriends before, but I was super fucking smashed or high at the time, I also almost melted down even then. AFTER asking them out if they say yes, it's easy for me. The rest is cake. But it's that start point that fucks me up.

It's been a couple years since I tried to even get a girlfriend and I met a beautiful and intelligent woman I work with. She seems interested and friends urge me to ask her out, telling me she's interested. But holy crap my stupid brain just fills me with fear.

I need advice, or techneques rather, that might help me deal with these feelings. I know that largely it's a "just do it" thing, where there's not much I can do aside from just taking the leap. But I'd like to know of any general tips that might help keep me cool calm and collected. I don't have to be some super Lando Calrissian here, just able.

Maybe (no wait, I deffinatly am) I'm over thinking it, maybe I just need to freak out here before I'm ready. But, yeah, well, here it is? Thanks in advance random internet people.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Albert Clozzlesot - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 17:25:31 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535239 Reply
>>535233
So it's something I haven't got the hang of but it hasn't stopped me. I have been told to make a move sooner while I'm still mysterious/a bit of an unknown and to make a relatively low key offer. I don't know if this really helps but it makes being rejected much less of a big deal. If you're feeling limerent and they're not already feeling the same you've screwed up. Being shot down is probably still good because you can get some certainty and move on.

If you're a big adult now you have to be able to reject them without making it a big deal. Remember, a lot of women have been yelled at and called a whore, had men refuse to take no for an answer etc. If someone thinks badly of you for just saying "oh okay" and being a bit quiet for a few minutes they're an idiot. Though if you're nervous, after you've suggested it might be good just you two to meet for a coffee or eat at this nice ish place or whatever. If it's someone you just met you just want their number anyway and can arrange something later if you text the next afternoon and the person who gave you the number responds. If it's someone you know and you're worried about awkwardness if they say no have a conversation topic to ask them about after. Do it without skipping a beat and it shows it's not a big deal. If they react badly it's on them then. It only has to be a short question, but anything that moves things along will do.

What I'm saying is that I'm not an expert and some people will give you better advice but rejection isn't as bad as the anxiety before. You know this.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to ask women out. I think it's what feels natural for you and if they like it is up to them. Make it clear it's the two of you. I'd go with "hey, the two of us should do this thing" form. Last first date I arranged was on a dating site and it was obvious what lets meet up and get food I know this great place meant because of the context. It was a date.
>>
Zozyman - Sat, 11 Jul 2020 11:01:57 EST /WTRsasU No.535273 Reply
>>535239
So I did it, asked her. Legit got laughed at and told, rather strongly, no. Damn. Well, that was embarassing, but not as bad as I though. Even with being laughed at... feels bad man.
>>
Priscilla Fevingkirk - Sat, 11 Jul 2020 11:41:03 EST vJ+Hk/Je No.535274 Reply
1594482063479.gif -(1168155B / 1.11MB, 500x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>535273
Somebody you WORK WITH are you INSANE?? LMFAO!! OH MY FUCKING GOD you'll have to see her EVERY DAY and if you say ANYTHING to her, she can go straight to your boss and have you fired OH WOW you are SO FUCKED HAHAHAHA

References and new jobs

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- Tue, 07 Jul 2020 08:41:32 EST ObhhTE06 No.535257
File: 1594125692998.jpg -(28079B / 27.42KB, 636x482) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. References and new jobs
Before covid virus I was trying to move into higher paying roles so I was applying for a lot of positions, I used 2 references from my work. I didn't get the first 2 interviews but it was a competitive intake so it wasn't bad, then I finally got a position and lost it because of COVID and then lost ANOTHER job due to the same fucking covid problems etc. ..... I've seen some of the reference forms my supervisors had to fill out, they were fucking extensive and really felt like such a big ask of them. I'm going for my 5th interview this week and I'm going to have to ask my references to fill out a form for a 5th fucking time.... Fuck this shitty practice it's just some relic from the 50s why do I have to do it. Do you think I could arrange something with my interview and explain that I don't want to keep bothering my refs?
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 10:32:07 EST EZP69gAu No.535267 Reply
>>535257
What were the reference forms asking? I've been on interview panels for two larger corporations and in both companies, we only called references for the person we were going to offer the job, and the next in line, and this was after the decision was made. Even then, the phone calls wouldn't be longer than 10 minutes, basically asking about certain programs they would've had to use in their old job, how they used them, if they could use it well, etc.

Never a paper form though, unless government jobs still do it like >>535258 said
>>
Simon Gemblenit - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 18:24:21 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535271 Reply
>>535267
I actually work in local government and they don't do it here. However every local government organisation is a separate body and most are not in the same country as me. Largely the ones in my country try to be ahead, or at least on the curve in terms of employment practices.
>>
Jarvis Famblelock - Thu, 09 Jul 2020 09:44:55 EST cmK+eWz5 No.535272 Reply
>>535271
I've worked in countries that require a retinal scan on entry but still need fingerprints submitted in ink, it makes no difference where you are.

Dealing with past regrets on /psy/

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- Mon, 06 Jul 2020 01:26:41 EST lYwVS2OU No.535250
File: 1594013201063.png -(2234948B / 2.13MB, 1920x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dealing with past regrets on /psy/
This might be a odd theme, but to clarify, i've been a shitty ex in the past, the manipulative, over controling, anxious and paranoid, i was really stalker after the end of the relationship too.

I think as many people who visit imageboards, i slowly got into this toxic belief women are all liars, bad people and stuff, this wasnt something i thought counsciously but it is something that over years since teenage years of going to 4chan, stuck until my first relationship, and made me a shitty abusive ex, never physically of coruse, just enough that i didnt at the time saw my actions as bad.

After it, i kind knew and learned i was a shitty person at the time, after realizing how mentally abusive i was, i went through a bad breakdown and had to revaluate myself as a person, and weirdly, this has come a lot from doing psychedelics.

My mind before was really neurotic, and worse it had this mentality everyone was gonna fuck me so better if i was ready, this only led me to being a shit person, and doing acid and later ayahuasca, made me realize how this behaviour hurt others, not in a vain sense, but a deep sense, like i was not in tune with other emotions most of my life and was unable therefore to see how bad i was hurting then, it was only on ayahuasca, that i felt something show me how deeply bad i was leading me to a huge purge, that i need to be more counscious of my actions, or else id just move into automatic behaviour, and in case i did, i needed to stop going to more "toxic" places that influenciated me uncounsciously.

Im not bragging or denying responsability, but i feel from the 19 to 25, i changed completely as a person, from those experiences, from maturing and from having a relationship that the person treated me like i treated my first ex, that last relationship funnily lasted much longer than it should cause i deep down felt i deserved it.

I know myself well and do therapy, i know how i changed, but i dont know how do i deal with this past self, to make sense, it creeps in constantly as guilt, if i do psychedelics for instance, i sometimes still can get overwhelmed by reminding how shitty i was, if i have a relationship that is good now, i cant really keep myself there, as in the uncounscious feeling of not deserving something good, for instance i miss my last ex compared to my new, because this girl is everything i could have asked for, and even tho i wouldnt do anything bad for her, i still feel bad just by being with her, as if i needed someone as "bad as me".

Its simply one thing to recognize i was a faulty person cause i was a person in a bad place who had only bad influences after years of solitude, but i dont think this justifies being a shitty person, i dont know basically, how should i redeem myself to my eyes, surely i grew as a person but my errors have been made already, and i cant just do a "christian" oh god forgave me thing to run away, i just wonder how other people who been shitty and realized it deal with it on a honest way, do they seek to make more good than they done bad? Do they just just ignore it until the grave, do they just rationalize it?

I feel i dont feel bad for that if i dont think about it, but if i dont think about it, im not only not getting in contact with this bad aspect of myself, im getting out of contact with all the other parts of me, its like if i have to access the "better of me", i also have to deal with my shadow, for instance, doing psychedelics as a teenager was light and fun, cause there wasnt much of a dark part of myself, or at least my teenager self wouldnt realize there was, doing then now means feeling overwhelming guilt and sorrow.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Henry Nandlechuck - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 05:22:59 EST TtXni/Rr No.535266 Reply
>>535250

do you still hope on some level you can change or fix the past?
>>
Lillian Pimmerforth - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 17:36:48 EST s0jfgpr4 No.535269 Reply
>>535250
Psychedelics probably facilitated making you aware of the negative impact of your behavior, but considering you mentioned, "but i feel from the 19 to 25, i changed completely as a person", I'm honestly willing to bet having your frontal lobe almost finish developing and some real world experience probably have a bigger part to do with your improvement than you realize. Especially the fact your brain has mostly finished developing. It helps immensely to have properly functioning tools for processing and perceiving the world, your relationships with others, and planning for the future/realizing the potential future impact of your actions.

I'm not meaning to deny that it was your decision to improve and your recognition of the kind of person you were and how it was wrong, and the effort you put in to change that led to you improving, but considering my own experience and the experiences of friends and relatives, I've got more than a sneaking suspicion that it's brain development that played a surprisingly large factor in everything... because just about everybody I've known with problems has either just flat out not improved (despite being 28-32, I'm 29 for reference), or they improved the most and seemingly kind of out of nowhere around the ages of 23-26.
>>
Lillian Pimmerforth - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 17:40:30 EST s0jfgpr4 No.535270 Reply
I think the best way to put it is that psys are an excellent tool to shift your perspective and make you open to seeing things differently than you've come to normally see them, and I think that in combination with your brain almost being finished developing in the region that's specifically known for executive function (planning for the future, impulse control, regulating emotional impulses from the amygdala that the teenage brain seems to rely on much more, otherwise being in control of your actions and emotions) and social interaction allowed you to recognize how you were fucking up and also gave you the motivation and desire to take improving your behavior seriously.

The dreaded late in life virginity - suggestions for approaching this in a mature and healthy way?

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- Thu, 02 Jul 2020 11:41:43 EST GkC5zk+y No.535197
File: 1593704503292.jpg -(45956B / 44.88KB, 640x495) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. The dreaded late in life virginity - suggestions for approaching this in a mature and healthy way?
Hello /QQ/,


Recently I found myself in a bit of a quandary. I spent a majority of high school/college as a socially awkward, hallucinogenic drug abusing, loner-type unable to get a girlfriend. I am the only person to blame - I was a drug abusing asocial weirdo so it is no surprise people did not want to be around me. I am now 26 years old with a good career, my own place, and made a lot of progress in forgiving myself and letting go of a lot of self-loathing that plagued me for years.After months of extreme isolation during this lock down (and hitting the internet porn a little too hard) I found myself somewhat fixated on my non-existent romantic life and I have come here to see if there are any suggestions on how I should approach this delicate situation. Sexual repression does not work, just look at the catholic church. I thought quitting porn/fapping would help but it just made me think about sex even more. I know this is silly and its not that big of a deal, but I am caught in a feedback loop of thinking about it and getting nervous about the whole thing which makes me think about it more. I feel like something has to be done so I can move on with my life already.


What I have been considering is the following:

  1. Escorts: Get it all over with in one hour. I am way to focused on the idea of sex, turning a mole hill into a mountain and treating it like the holy grail. Perhaps getting the main event done and out of the way will force me to see its not all its cracked up to be and help with self-confidence around women. I recently contacted an escort but backed out at the last minute due to fear of STDs, an arrest record, getting robbed, etc. it's a lot of things that could go wrong just to satisfy an animalistic desire. I also know this will be an empty experience devoid of any real human connection and I think that is what is at the heart of what I am seeking. Is this what hitting rock bottom feels like?


2. Online dating: A safer bet than escorts, however how will these women react when I tell them I have never even kissed a girl? Other than a girlfriend in middle school I am starting from square one. Am I even capable of intimacy? Surely I will have to tell them this because it will become obvious how inexperienced I am? These are the things swirling around in mind of the late-in-life virgin that have prevented me from going through with any of this. Fear of rejection - how can someone take so much acid and still have a frail little ego? I am an average looking person not really worried about my looks but I am very worried about my social abilities.

3. Work on self-improvement: I am I not ready for this? Am I inviting more trouble into my life? Love is an emotional minefield that I may not be prepared for. Maybe a combination of psychotherapy and increased socialization will help me get over this? I have come to recognize that no manic-pixie-dream girl is going to save me from crippling loneliness and that I have to be the one to step up to solve this. Girls, and people in general, do not want to be around a depressed neurotic.This has played into my increasing loneliness but I find my neuroticism getting worst due to loneliness; again it's another feedback loop. Maybe I need to start working on solving the causes of why women want nothing to do with me which comes down to my own emotional and social problems.


TL;DR: Late in life virgin starting to get a handle on life, TFW no GF, how to start from square one? Obsessing over sex and not realizing the importance of human connection and having someone to confide in - worried I am turning into an Elliot Roger type by fixating on it. Escort vs. online dating vs. therapy to address underlying issues?

I appreciate anyone for reading and any advice, It helped me think about some things just typing this out. I want to stop obsessing over this and just move on. Sex and love was intended to be a beautiful thing (at leas that's what the songs, television programs, and advertisements told me) but right now it just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
20 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Henry Nandlechuck - Wed, 08 Jul 2020 05:19:55 EST TtXni/Rr No.535265 Reply
>>535197

hang on, you said how you want to solve this but you never said why it's a problem.

I know American Pie and all that shite pretends that this matters, but apart from the shitty rom-com milieu, which unfortunately affects all of us.. what specifically makes this seem like an issue? You mention loneliness, which is agony, and an escort won't solve loneliness and yet she is still on the table.

I like the idea of therapy or counselling to help you build up some self compassion you seem like a good guy, you don't seem like a bitter hateful narcissistic mass shooter who unceasingly blames everyone else for his problems

how to stop sabotaging myself?

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- Sun, 05 Jul 2020 10:16:16 EST 0PGlBOuQ No.535245
File: 1593958576628.jpg -(18738B / 18.30KB, 480x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. how to stop sabotaging myself?
I tell myself i wanna be happy. Doesn't everyone wanna be happy? I try to do things that will make me happy, but i sabotage it every time. is this a normal thing? i do benzos and opiods recreationally. i am not dependent on them. i don't know why i continue to do it when i know it is just making my life worse. what do i do to stop myself from ruining my life.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Barnaby Fibblebanks - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 13:25:24 EST LUAyeKAb No.535248 Reply
1593969924396.jpg -(58972B / 57.59KB, 600x595) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>535246
Sometimes in Vietnam a foot patrol would get pocketed behind enemy lines in a way where any sort of help would be a miracle short from a massive counter-attacking operation.

Whatever weird ass comment you are trying to say, then say it. "What do you do for other people?" Wow, what an asshole! Fuck this guy.
>>
Archie Garrystone - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 13:31:23 EST +rYLvVZR No.535249 Reply
>>535248
Great response that discourages use of the board. When do you people leave?
>>
Nathaniel Shittingstone - Mon, 06 Jul 2020 08:49:39 EST 0PzMAsHd No.535252 Reply
I don't know your exact situation, but I'm guessing you don't have any long term plans.
What do you mean with happy? I'm happy when I'm high, but that's probably not what you mean.
Try to be concrete to yourself what you mean with 'happy' and try to work to that goal.
The reason you do benzos and shit is because you don't really have a drive to reach something; you just wanna be "happy" whatever that is.

loner autist moving in with normie zoomer girls

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- Wed, 01 Jul 2020 09:18:45 EST 7NEuTW8z No.535178
File: 1593609525609.jpg -(19050B / 18.60KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. loner autist moving in with normie zoomer girls
just want some advice. i am 25 year old male loner autist with zero social skills, currently trying to move out of parent's for the summer. in the process of trying to secure a sub-let only problem is it's a house of 3 other girls aged 19-23 and one guy.

the girl who is subletting the room wants to meet me this weekend to discuss it.

i am not a creep and my intention is nothing but to leave these people alone and peacefully coexist with them. however my experience with girls this age is (perhaps understandably) that they are uptight, suspicious, and untrusting and do not seem to differentiate between 'awkward' and 'creepy'. what i mean by that is if you are the type that is notably socially awkward and uncomfortable in social situations they tend to think you are hiding something sinister and potential psycho simply because you are not socialised.

any advice on how to make these girls think i have no bad intentions and mean no harm without coming off like some SIMP ?

i just wanna live independently for a bit and all i can remotely afford are these house share type situations. i would just not interact with them but i fear this may be difficult in 5 bedroom house. any advice appreciated thanks.

i'm bisexual and just as socially awkward around guys too but guys tend to be more chilled out and not as paranoid about that kind of thing
31 posts and 7 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Albert Clozzlesot - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 16:47:24 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535238 Reply
>>535231
I'm renting a 2 bed and splitting it and my half is about £450/month. That's cheap where I am. Basically your rent is normal for anywhere out of London in the South that is either a nice town in the commuter belt (ie Oxford or Guildford) or just otherwise desirable (Bristol or Bournemouth for example). Also Slough.

You won't get cheaper in a hotel. I think we found a place in Sheffield that did double rooms for £55/night for a festival a couple of years ago but good luck getting a zed bed in a garage for that here.

My rent goes up on an inflation +.5% escalator every year.

If you're getting bills included or it's a double room you're not getting a bad deal. But otherwise it's not super expensive BUT it's also not great value for money.
>>
Barnaby Fibblebanks - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 13:20:16 EST LUAyeKAb No.535247 Reply
>>535213
>CBT
the fuck has cock and ball torture ever had to do with anything what the fuck are you a bunch of candyasses

Feeling a little strange

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- Tue, 05 May 2020 09:31:57 EST YyoyDpFf No.534483
File: 1588685517054.png -(12228B / 11.94KB, 1360x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Feeling a little strange
Hi /qq/, hope y'all are doing okay.

I dunno if anyone here has had a similar experience, or feels the same way but hoping maybe someone could relate or if they had, if things had changed for them eventually.

I'll try not to make this too long but basically I'm in my late 20's and am starting to feel a little like I'm just waiting, constantly. It's hard to explain but I've tried different things to try to find something that made the days feel interesting, and all of it was helpful in some ways I think, but none of it really stuck with me past a few months. I learned an instrument, went to uni to study, started exercising daily and eating well I got very into different religions for a while, joined a church, became a monk, moved cities, moved islands, tried different jobs, made close friends and then tried isolating myself socially.

The problem is that I've tried everything I can think of that even seems vaguely interesting, but I don't really feel a lot about any of it. I don't hate doing it, but I just don't really feel anything in particular. It's like a feeling of just waiting, all the time. . I really just feel like I wish there was an off switch we could pull and it'd be like we never knew anyone. Seeing funerals, dying really affects people and so I don't think something like suicide is the answer but the idea of having to keep doing this for potentially another 30-40 years really doesn't make me happy to be here.

I don't know if any of this makes sense. But if any of you have felt like this before, is there something to do, or to look at that makes life seem worth it? Because if we're here for some reason there has to be something to do or practice that makes it worthwhile.

Sorry for the kind of rant /qq/, I think this comes across a little edgy, but I don't really know how to word feelings like this.
7 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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William Soddledock - Thu, 14 May 2020 10:39:48 EST ySK+6TA1 No.534579 Reply
>>534569
Thanks for the apt TL;DR, can't help but make walls of text on adderall a lot of the time
>>
Cornelius Nicklebury - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 02:50:11 EST YyoyDpFf No.535242 Reply
>>534484
Thanks for thieadvice. I wonder if this kind of thing is quite common for a lot of people growing into adulthood. I guess for the majority of people in early childhood pretty much everything you do is given to you in neatly segmented blocks, ending daily in set bed times and the like. I might try making more structured plans for daily things I want to do and see if that helps work towards specific things.

>>534486
I did but eventually the necrosis makes all of this hard and you've gotta find other options


>>534568

That's honestly really great you've managed to find a way to invest energy/productivity in a way that's fulfilling. I guess even if you recognise the job itself isn't fulfilling, you can get fulfillment through the amount of effort and energy and time you're putting in as a way of training self-discipline. Maybe not being so important exactly what you're doing specifically, as a way to give yourself focus. I'll take this as advice for trying to at least cultivate focus in the things i am doing day to day.

Thanks /qq/. Still quite unsure if there's anything worth persuing exactly but maybe will look at the advice you hear about focusing on emotions themselves and how you're interacting with things and focus on that aside from starting new study soon. Hope you're all having an okay time wherever you are, remember to stay hydrated.

Mostly Venting

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- Sat, 04 Jul 2020 15:11:43 EST FO3wrxBb No.535237
File: 1593889903563.gif -(503979B / 492.17KB, 460x345) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Mostly Venting
I'm stuck in a socially isolated rut.

I'm in grad school and I have no one to talk to who I want to talk to. I've tried talking to people and being supportive but I feel like they think it comes out of nowhere because I tend to be quiet and avoiding of contact most of the time. I just can't change anything and it has me feeling bad.

I don't know if it's my fault for not consistently being better or if there's nothing I could have ever done about it. I don't know if people think I'm some spaz or if they think I'm a cold and aloof robot. Maybe they have no thoughts about me, or it's a mix of different things. They don't know the real me and I haven't had an opportunity to show them and I feel like I can't talk to them. That's not what I want to be and this isn't the life I want to be living forever.

The proper move could be investing in people who are actually supportive and who I can actually talk to. It would feel like a complete social reset though. There's a part of my that wishes that I could involve the people I already know and that I wouldn't have to completely restart my life, but that doesn't feel possible because a tone has already been set and we'll all go our separate ways before things change. Good people are also hard to find and I'm worried that they'd wouldn't trust me because they don't know me and it'd be the same thing all over again.

I don't know. I think I'm just needing to cope and accept it for a little while.
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Isabella Nabblenore - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 20:27:26 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535240 Reply
>>535237
Being supportive is nice. But people don't want supportive from a near stranger. You need to make small talk share hobbies and build familiarity and confidence. If friendship intimacy does not flow from that at least you'll have fun.
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Eugene Gattingspear - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 22:30:01 EST FO3wrxBb No.535241 Reply
>>535240
Fair, and I've done a little bit of that. It just hasn't worked out the way I would have wanted it to evidenced by little things. Also, I've been around them for a couple of years now, and I thought that would have counted for something but I guess not.

I think I've either let time pass by, or maybe there was nothing I could have done. I'll admit that I was too quiet at certain points, or that I might have switched between being too quiet and then all spastic too quickly at certain points. A couple people asked if I was "on the spectrum" so I wonder if they disengage more quickly because of that. It's hard to tell where people are coming from.

Dudes who commit domestic violence are some of the lowest of scum

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- Sun, 28 Jun 2020 22:06:43 EST JWWudQ3H No.535165
File: 1593396403039.png -(43805B / 42.78KB, 490x284) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dudes who commit domestic violence are some of the lowest of scum
They really need to have their skulls caved in if they have ever caused permanent damage to their partner.
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Doris Tootdock - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 06:06:22 EST rqyO5sU4 No.535226 Reply
>>535222
i see no signs that op is emotionally stunted, what do you think that word means? OP seems very self-aware

The magical fairy race thing is spot on. Maybe we should rename benevolent sexism magical-fairy-race sexism.
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Shit Bardfield - Sat, 04 Jul 2020 08:43:08 EST 9Qgx6n7T No.535228 Reply
>>535169
Make a home cooked bowl of eggs. Make sure she eats them all.

Mental Institution

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- Sun, 09 Feb 2020 19:56:12 EST a9l1x9a4 No.533543
File: 1581296172863.jpg -(100172B / 97.82KB, 646x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Mental Institution
Any expereinces in Mental institutions as children, teenagers and adults? Tell me everything: what clothes do you wear, what do you do, if you can speak with the nurses, can you receive letters, are there bedrooms, &c.
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Molly Crundleforth - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 00:15:55 EST XHgC+rDf No.535191 Reply
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yes, I have been in six times, as a kid and as an adult. it fucked me up pretty bad. Some of them they kept extending my stay again and again so i was there for like a few months. all answers are just my own experience i guess.

>what clothes do you wear
might wear hospital gown if you're newly up from ER or whatever. otherwise you wear your own clothes modified to their standards--shoes or hoodies without the laces, hospital socks, etc. when i want to remind myself i'm not there any more i wear boots with really long laces. staves off the flashbacks lol

>what do you do
you kick around a waiting room sort of space that's either very boring and quiet or filled with chaos from people running around screaming or loudly and aggressively flirting with orderlies or whatever. sometimes there's meals and they suck, or group therapy which is really low-energy and like a shitty motivational seminar. you might meet with a psychiatrist once or twice, they put you on meds and don't listen to most of what you're saying. or they do med or vitals lineup and hand out meds or take measurements. and visitation hours.

talking to other patients might take up most of your time. this is the most helpful thing because they act like real people unlike most staff, and might have empathy or advice about dealing with your problems or how shitty the hospital is. and they're also very interesting, besides. it's like a menagerie of types of cray cray.

>if you can speak with the nurses
sure. sometimes if you ask them for stuff they get annoyed though.

>can you receive letters
some of them have a computer or two to use so you could do that. most of the time you'd be in and out too quick for a letter to reach you. it's usually phone calls and visits.

>are there bedrooms, &c.
yes. when i was in a youth ward i shared a room. i've been in situations where you have your own too. the bedrooms are pretty sparse.
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James Blatherworth - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 00:25:31 EST mttQWkrO No.535192 Reply
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Psych wards are interesting places, that's for sure. It's really weird thinking back to my stays because it feels like it's almost a totally different universe. They feel like a waiting room going from one life to the next. In the interim it's a way of living almost completely devoid of experience, like the physical manifestation of what it feels like to be on Seroquel or Thorazine.

The specifics of the extreme sort of depression, mania, and psychosis that lands me in them never sticks around in my memory and I can only really recall those feelings through memories of how I felt about it at the time. The actions I took that land me there, suicide attempts, hallucinations, overdoses, etc., don't make any sense to me now. I remember them, but it's like someone else did them, even though I never consciously lost agency.

I tend to have more fond memories of them than not, because the thing I remember the most is the relief I feel finally being safe and finally being able to come down. There was one that I was stuck in for 14 days while I waited for space to open up and a rehab facility. That really fucking sucks, but it was after an attempt during a psychotic manic episode, so they weren't just going to let me go.

The entire idea is to provide structure and stability while also addressing the chemical imbalances that brought you there. Medications are started or changed/adjusted on admission. I've probably been on a couple dozen different psychiatric drugs over the years before I found the combo that works for me. If you know what to say (or actually need it) occasionally you can get benzos, but most of the fare is antipsychotics, antidepressants, and stuff like hydroxyzine and trazadone. Schedules are tightly regimented usually but nothing is obligatory. The smart patients know total cooperation is how you get out fast though. You can stay in your room the whole time, but that times gonna be 2 weeks instead of 5 days. You can see an example of what a schedule's like here.

You get 3 square meals, always double portions with basically everyone being on appetite enhancing drugs, often with unlimited snacks. It's next to impossible to leave one of these places without gaining weight. You're allowed to wear your own clothes but all of it is screened and you're given a choice to store it away or have strings, etc. removed. You're stripped of all your prohibited belongings upon entry but you can have a family member bring clothes and other approved items. They provide you with personal care items, but you can also have your own sent in provided they're sealed. They keep it all in a bin that you have to ask to get. Nothing is allowed to be kept in your room. Some places are more strict about this than others. The rooms are always very spartan, occasionally you'll have a weighted chair (all the furniture is either weighted or attached to the ground to prevent people throwing it) but beyond that, nothing. In a lot of places if I wanted to sit up to read or right I would turn the trashcan upset down and use the air conditioner/window as a desk. You're not allowed to do this technically but I've never been stopped, the worst that happens is the cleaning lady comes by and takes your pens if you don't hide them when she comes to do the trash.

The people you meet are for the most part pretty good people, and there's a unique sense of camaraderie. Some are very disturbed, others just need a place to put their head one straight so they don't end up killing themselves. Most are at least pretty interesting to talk to and come from a diverse number of backgrounds, although racial/ethnic minorities, LGBT people, drug users, and the poor are massively over-represented. It's always two to a room, some people had problems with roommates, but mine have all been either nice or quiet. People who are (visibly) trans usually either get a room by themselves or the staff tend to kind of politely ask you in a roundabout way if you're cool with them being your roommate/being their's.

The bulk of your day consists of group therapy sessions. These vary widely from place to place, with some places having a lot of different kinds of groups and others having next to no real group therapy and are just kind of a holding tank, but they funnel you into a room where you kind of just color or read one of the 12 books they have. In a lot of them you do w…
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Priscilla Suddlefuck - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 15:28:58 EST UglurXVu No.535201 Reply
>>535191
basically all of this


plus it fucking blows

everyone there will be a lot more insane than you who likely isn't going to like it once you actually realize you are trapped there

non lethal OD of meds to rock you on your ass and keep you there zombified in some that I went to. Sometimes fights, other times sex. Sometimes roommates drugged me in my sleep and would vaguely allude to it next morning. Sketchy places to be, dude.



dont do it.

Relationship breaking apart

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- Fri, 12 Jun 2020 18:55:45 EST A7q4nA/+ No.534912
File: 1592002545325.jpg -(10490242B / 10.00MB, 4000x3000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Relationship breaking apart
So, i have been on a break with my gf for a month now. We have been together for 3 and a half years also living together for almost 2 and a half years of that time. when the break happened i finally woke up from a state of mind i had been in for way too long. Smoking weed everyday and being depressed and in general being selfish. I have started working out, stopped smoking and in general try to work on myself to not be that person anymore. I stayed with her a couple of days just now, and it seems that she can't let go of the "old me" and i truly understand why because she had felt like it wasn't working for like a year already so i realize that i didn't see what good she did to me and now that it seems we are over i truly realize that i fucked up big time. Shit still hurts like a motherfucker. I really love her but i think it might be over. We kind of decided to just let things be as is and not really be together but not really break it off completely. I'm not planing on going back to my old ways anytime soon and try to improve even more, but god is it hard to not hurt this much. i think she really was "the one". I feel like most people i talk to don't really care. Which i also understand because of my past self isolating lifestyle. No idea where i'm going with this tbh. I guess i would like some advice... but i realize that i can't force us back together. Just damn i'm sad. I'm also really bad at meeting new people and online dating seems awful. also i don't really think i will find anyone that can match her. just need some venting here so sorry if the post is inconsistent. What is your experience with breakups/breaks. Any advice?

Pic unrelated, it's a bike in the woods nearby my moms house where i'm staying atm.
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Munz - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 19:46:24 EST 8KwDabST No.535164 Reply
>>535136
I stopped getting high all the time... but truth be told i did do the latter
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Frederick Lightman - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 20:47:05 EST VMzmKgcf No.535177 Reply
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>>535135
>We ended up cuddling and sleeping together, but with the pretext of this is not gonna get us back together which i said that i understood since i do really understand why she broke up with me. Although she said that she had been feeling lonely, but still wasn't/didn't want to get back together at this point

my friend, how do you feel? bad? it sounds like she just used you. think about it. what did YOU get out of that?
we call this "being an emotional tampon"

>I really don't want to cut contact, but is it because i can cling to the hope that if i manage to keep in control of my emotions we might be able to try once more in the future? when i say the future we are talking several months, maybe years.

i don't want to presume too hard on you but i think that i've been there and with that kind of delusion. you have to cut the emotional cord man. you don't want the same things, so it's irreconcilable. are you really going to trust that she won't find someone else? you'll see pics of them on your fb feed or something.. don't let that happen. pain! you'll find somebody else, but that's not what you need right now. you don't need it, you just think you do. it's gross energy. honestly disgusting when you are able to step back and look at it from a distance.
imo sometimes we think that something can be a certain way, but it belies the tangible reality

What age did you stop addressing your parents as "Mother/Father

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- Sat, 27 Jun 2020 01:49:17 EST yal3LfZo No.535132
File: 1593236957350.jpg -(24354B / 23.78KB, 552x358) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What age did you stop addressing your parents as "Mother/Father
is there a certain age where you started calling your parents by name when talking with them in conversation as an adult? I haven't ever seen or heard about such a thing, and now I am genuinely curious what others have to say on the matter. I have an older sibling who came from a different father than me. My father was abusive to her, our mother, basically everyone except me as his son. You can imagine, growing up, this built resentments long after they were all split apart and everyone went separate ways.

Well, for whatever reason, that same older sibling insists on calling our mother by name, to forever reinstate that she's a person, with her own identity separate from being our mother. I don't find that hard to understand at all, and for the most part it feels generally weird because the look and tone my sister has around me for as long as I've grown up carrying on my abusive Father's name, is a look of fear and wide-eyed paranoia. All my life, basically every memory I have of this older sister, I was looked at with the fear that I would at any level be like my abusive father, which I've already known on my own since I was little to be better than.

I mean, fuck, Idk. Im just sensing a weird vibe whenever this name thing comes up about how to address my own mother. It's never fully been made into a debate on either side, or even discussed like this... it's just something I notice being shown by example in a rather pompous manner when it happens. What am I supposed to do? Im old enough and at the point where they're both essentially cut out from my life due to basically every coworker and friend I ever had suggesting doing so, except for phone calls long distance which someone here recommended I keep it at when I last came here to post a couple years back. Thing is, where they are I have a lot of my things in a storage unit and my mother is maintaining that until we mail it all over to me. I avoid letting things reach any sort of peak with my mom because if things don't go smoothly for her then she'd just threaten to let all my shit fly to the wind. Mostly it's books and a PS4, a custom built ouija board worth a couple hundred dollars and some clothes and other valuables etc.

that's all folks, advice appreciated
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[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 09:50:26 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535176 Reply
>>535174
I think the idea behind it is to get you ready for university or work, where you probably don't address people other than with their first name, at least in my experience. It was never actually explained why they only wanted the first name though.
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Shit Brevingbury - Fri, 03 Jul 2020 23:53:36 EST jnas4L6T No.535221 Reply
>>535176

you mean in your experience as an incestuous pedophile?
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[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 03:23:24 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535243 Reply
>>535221
There's my stalker, you should really seek therapy. Chasing me around and replying to all my posts seems sort of obsessive.

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