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Family does not approve of gf

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- Sun, 29 Sep 2019 11:38:25 EST Cl/CU0lR No.531907
File: 12.jpg -(80085B / 78.21KB, 666x69) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Family does not approve of gf
My entire chinese family (mom.dad.grandma.grandpa) thinks my gf is ugly and think she is not good for me. Its honestly killing me inside and make me think maybe there is some truth in what they r saying idfk. she is the only girl who ever loved me and the time i spent with her in the last two years were honestly some of the happiest time ive been.


I broke up with her a month ago and havent told my fam yet but my grandma just said to me "how could you find such a ugly girl, why dont u just break up." it just hurt so much me to hear that from my family.. i just wanted to rant i guess
>>
Simon Crozzleforth - Mon, 30 Sep 2019 16:42:59 EST JCATCBbz No.531927 Reply
>>531907
Man that's rough OP. I don't know your family dynamic but honestly if this girl makes you happy, fuck them. They're not the ones with her and honestly it isn't up to them. Why do you want them to approve of your woman? It's up to you to find the right person, regardless of what they think about it.
>>
Jist - Sat, 12 Oct 2019 01:19:08 EST LbPBpo3d No.532095 Reply
>>531907
They care man. Just know if I was I'm in your situation. Fuck it fam.

How do I cultivate a sense of urgency?

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- Thu, 26 Sep 2019 16:00:44 EST Ii08on6m No.531892
File: 1569528044351.jpg -(93633B / 91.44KB, 864x552) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I cultivate a sense of urgency?
Lately, I have started to realise that I won't be around forever and there are certain things I want to do before it's too late. But I just don't seem to have the hunger.

How do I make myself crave the things I want? Instead of just hoping they will turn up by themselves, how do I devolope a sense of urgency and hunger that turns me into a hunter, so to speak, that goes out and gets what he wants.
7 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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George Gorrymadge - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 16:35:33 EST 1wcPdSrG No.532064 Reply
>>531893
this, also start working out ridiculously hard and do quality mdma very sparingly with close friends
i went from depressed to motivated in a day
>>
Jist - Sat, 12 Oct 2019 00:29:06 EST LbPBpo3d No.532094 Reply
1570854546126.jpg -(40578B / 39.63KB, 528x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>531892
Well there's standard of living
Then a good mix of sugar, spice, and somthing nice, the works
Then there's fun fucking short cuts you take when life's putting you in the dirt.
Word from the wise don't duce your equal.

Fucken homeless in Seattle from Texas.

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- Thu, 10 Oct 2019 23:25:05 EST H5iKHQqX No.532081
File: 1570764305553.jpg -(336379B / 328.50KB, 779x494) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fucken homeless in Seattle from Texas.
It's easy as fuck for anybody in the U.S.
Yeah, we're racist on all sides and have guns. But fuck it. I do what I want make money by just walking up to job sites and talking to the foreman (or whoever) and hitchhike the country for nothing.
If you wana live and fuck the system however you can than come on.
Unless your a stupid shit. Then stay home.
Homeless in Seattle. From Texas.
>>
Jack Billingfuck - Fri, 11 Oct 2019 10:46:43 EST LoB1eTg7 No.532088 Reply
>>532081
Why do other people's lifestyles have do be shit for yours to be good? Don't shade other people. Big up yourself.

Fear of Intimacy

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- Sat, 05 Oct 2019 04:07:43 EST h9SterRi No.531958
File: 1570262863912.jpg -(110175B / 107.59KB, 895x536) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fear of Intimacy
So, another step taken on the path of trying to unfuck myself: how to describe this shit? where to start? idk i like to write so i hope you like to read.
when i was a kid my parents got divorced. I was about 5 or 6. I stayed with my mum and we moved around, between our two origin countries. For many years I denied that this was in any way troubling for me. All I said was "it's fine" - unfortunately it wasn't just fine and 20+ years later I'm so sick of it being fine. It's not fucking fine at all. My dad is like a ghost to me, my mum showed me a picture of him in his new life he now lives on a remote part of the country, he raises horses apparently. He looked like a fucking ghost, like some one unreal.
He didn't have it easy either. His mum had post natale depression and he was born in the 1950's. That meant that when they found her trying to drown my infant father in the kitchen sink they locked her up. He grew up with his uncle. I never met my biological grandmother, I knew my grandfather's second wife the best out of all my grandparents. The others were all dead before I was old enough to get to know them properly.
Ive said this before: it feels or felt like I was born into the corpse of a family. They all split up and fucked off before I knew what love is. You learn that when you're about 7. Did anything really bad happen to me? no. Do I really have a right to bitch and moan about my situation? I doubt it. I'm sure some of you would have killed to have the life I led. However what I don't have keeps coming back to me. It keeps hurting and i'm getting to a point where I really can't ignore the pain anymore. After I write this I have three more options to continue this work: my sister, a therapist or my friends.

I'm fucking sick of feeling sick. And it is sick. It's depression when it grows. I met a girl about a year and half ago now. Spoiler: it didn't work out. But she taught me alot. I am really greatful for what she showed me, the ride she took me on and I love her for it and I'm pretty sure that I will never live up to her, I will never be as good as she was. I tried to tell her sometime after we fought and split but it 'just didn't work' in the end.
We went to a beach together and ate some mushrooms, they didn't do shit but she told me alot about herself. She used to suffer from an eating disorder and she 'know's that she is chronically depressed'. She said her mother was a narcissist and controlling mothers are often the source of eating disorders like hers. Later we went to a party on another beach, another day, and that's where I really saw it. I realised later I triggered it. She just closed up and went bad, like watching someone on a bad trip without the hallucinations. We had been dancing before but now she went to huddle up in a little ball away from the people. I had to spend hours telling her I would not leave her and eventually we fell asleep somewhere. We didn't bother getting a hostel or something, we just kind of squatted in one of the hostel's gardens.
She told me later that her depressive states are more often triggered when she is (starting out) in a relationship. This was the first girl I had truly been with sexually. She said she had been late to start but I was fucking 25 going on 26. I never explicitly told her at what age I lost my virginity. It was shameful for me but she could probably read between the lines. She said one of the ways she reacted to her condition was by sleeping around alot, after at a certain point she had learned to use her body and downloaded tinder. I had only been with one or two other women.

We shared alot in the short time we were together. We discussed politics, philosophy, spirituality and culture. We were on a beautiful tropical island with little if any care in the world. I didn't quite see her perspective in terms of spirituality, she was a big proponent of yoga and mindfulness, the revolution coming from within. As I had spent university reading critical theory I was more interested in the material, mechanical nature of power. She told me multiple times to face my fear. She laughed at me, said I was so cute, made fun of me for being 'the big, strong, impassive man'. We caressed each other's skin in one of the beach huts and a cat curled up beside us.
In the following months we kept in touch but we physically sep…
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Hamilton Blackstock - Mon, 07 Oct 2019 10:11:11 EST LOrl8mlC No.532026 Reply
>>532024
just with maths you can figure out that the majority of relationships start and end, and so presumably there was something not good there, not necessarily unhealthy, not necessarily bad.

It's definitely not a fact that most lasting relationships are unhealthy, in fact, quite the opposite. Lasting relationships tend to be happier ones, people in lasting relationships tend to be happier and live longer. If you find someone who supports you in your dreams, no matter how crazy they are, that's a good start, without that nothing can last, although that's not the only thing you need. That's just the biggest thing, according to statistics.

Gottman is a mathematician who swapped to psychology and researching love, his stats are great.


OP. You will never get wisdom on this board, it's a bunch of ordinary people with their thumbs in their arses who don't know anything more than you and, much more importantly, have no idea how to emotionally support someone else. Check out low cost counselling or psychotherapy in your area, if you don't like the first person, or the first 3, just keep swapping till you find a counsellor you click with, then off you go. People here will just be like "durr... well girls are like this and you should do this.., here's what happened to me and isn't at all relevant to you *2000 words* "
>>
Jist - Thu, 10 Oct 2019 21:25:57 EST LbPBpo3d No.532080 Reply
Whats the sang? Mathematically is easier to get to know someone through a friend. Usually when it comes to relation.
I bet it's all a lie faggot.
> , after at a certain point she had learned to use her body and downloaded tinder. I had only been with one or two other women.

I need to tickle a rim ASAP

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- Tue, 08 Oct 2019 05:45:50 EST ram2FZuN No.532046
File: 1570527950083.jpg -(36611B / 35.75KB, 639x495) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I need to tickle a rim ASAP
I'm going to get some sex in a week and a half, and I like this girl and we both said we are not going to sleep with other people since we live a few hours away from eachother.
This slampiggy messaged me last night asking for weed. I am always horny so I stated remenising about some times we hooked up and ended up saying some shit like I'd love to taste her again one day etc.
I can fuck her tonight, what do I do? I really wan't to fuck, I don't think I can wait to see this other girl. The thing is, this slampiggy was fucked a couple days ago, which is cool I think thats hot shes agood girl, but we both dont use protection because of latex alergies so I am really hesitant to fuck. I don't want to catch anything and give it to this new girl.. I will always be worried. What would you do?
>>
Polly Battingstidge - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 07:13:39 EST hsjTltEH No.532048 Reply
Are you a piece of shit or not? You are what you do.
>>
Eliza Porringwater - Thu, 10 Oct 2019 18:34:46 EST Je9nm5wp No.532079 Reply
>>532048
>Are you a piece of shit or not?

is this rhetorical? I feel like anyone can tell that he is

accidentally came out to my homophobic dad cause i left my room unlocked

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- Sat, 05 Oct 2019 14:43:37 EST Je9nm5wp No.531974
File: 1570301017286.jpg -(3621223B / 3.45MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. accidentally came out to my homophobic dad cause i left my room unlocked
And he saw this poster, i normally lock the door but he apparently saw it bringing me some laundry i left in the basement

Is it even that homoerotic? I cant tell for obvious reasons

He was like "damn you fancy men?!?!?" And i just kinda said yes, i mean every single person but you knows

Then he just walked out

Things are strained and awkward now

What can i do
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George Chissleforth - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 07:11:49 EST yU2gM7RL No.532061 Reply
>>532029
Can you even have gay sex missionary style? Wouldn't the guy taking it have to bend to take it?
>>
Eliza Porringwater - Thu, 10 Oct 2019 18:32:59 EST Je9nm5wp No.532078 Reply
>>532059
>just don't expect emotionally stunted and cripplingly insecure 'men' which are in no sense the majority to talk about feelings

ftfy

most repugnant thread you'll read all month

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- Wed, 09 Oct 2019 17:08:54 EST +qvx4Wsc No.532065
File: 1570655334417.jpg -(79446B / 77.58KB, 548x750) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. most repugnant thread you'll read all month
how do i clean the piss bottles and other signs of malaise from my room before i have to move out and back to shelter in two days? fruit flies are dying off.. i took some klonopin and some caffeine but i dont feel like stuffing my gut full of ginger to fight the nausea. and nausea is horrific


i dont want to leave the guy with a bunch of filthy rot, though i technically could.i wont. i have no energy, though. what is wrong with me that i have to piss so often? i drink tons and tons of water for its healthy benefits, but i never hold my bladder because i read that its very bad for it in the long run.

i constantly imbibe caffeine because i can't focus otherwise, which makes one pee. running back and forth to the shared bathroom to pee when i already am running back and forth all day due to my irritable bowel symptoms is embarrassing

in a shared home i am annoying to the other members of the house. i am huge and its like im using the hallways as a personal gymnasium/ running space. maybe the giant footfalls are imagined, a caffeine paranoiac's delusion

i finally realized that pissing in 2 gallon jugs alternatingly makes way more sense than pissing in smaller bottles: gatorade, powerade, wine bottles...

is it really shitty that i am putting the empty bottles in the trash?(OUR CAN IS AMBIGUOUS and irritatingly doesn't specify trash or recycling)
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Betsy Hickledale - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 19:59:22 EST o1DOVlr0 No.532075 Reply
>>532074
Put the lids back on the bottles. Call the fire department.
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Graham Pittwater - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 21:15:58 EST +qvx4Wsc No.532076 Reply
>>532075
i made a paper funnel ! i put it in the jug hole , poured the wider mouth bottles into them jugs. very stinky. i recommend a real funnel for my readers.
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Cyril Marryforth - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 21:54:44 EST vCPwibdy No.532077 Reply
You need to learn to mindfully endure unpleasant experiences.

banned from the future for having a serious discussion

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- Wed, 09 Oct 2019 19:09:23 EST bTYWm4et No.532067
File: 1570662563143.jpg -(3273B / 3.20KB, 123x125) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. banned from the future for having a serious discussion
I fucking hate the future, bunch of glow in the dark jolly african-americans. I was having a severe issue that I needed helping sorting out and my thread got to 80 fucking replies before they banned me for a month from "breaking global rule #1". Fucking jolly african-americans, I was just starting to get serious help and actually learning a few things. I can't fucking wait until stormfront is back up where I can have a proper adult discussion. If you don't want to talk about zoomer or trans shit, they don't want people actually seriously conversating.

Coping with loss

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- Thu, 03 Oct 2019 20:37:06 EST 3obYAJL5 No.531953
File: 1570149426146.jpg -(26518B / 25.90KB, 1080x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Coping with loss
Anyone had ongoing issues with loss of a loved one?
My gf died in traumatic circumstances 3 years ago and i feel so disconnected that i cant fathom life, the pst before 3years ago is like a still image and i feel like i am in a dream i will wake up from and nothing is real. Had a few episodes whrre i walked out into the street at night not knowing what i was doing, felt like there was no breeze and everything was weirdly still i dont know.
Is generic meditation any good?
Moving on is so hard im scared i dont remain effective at work etc in the future.

Anyone had disassociation before?
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Simon Simblecocke - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 05:51:41 EST ram2FZuN No.532047 Reply
>>531999

I am really sorry brother. I don't even post shit like this usually. I am sorry that has happened to you.
Try to find something that needs you, maybe get a pet. Something you can pour everything into. I don't know man.
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Hugh Drinnernock - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 10:43:39 EST CqNqmshR No.532063 Reply
>>532060
There are people in the world hwo need you and are waiting for you to get back in touch with them, why not send out a couple messages and see what's up?

Disconnection

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- Tue, 08 Oct 2019 02:06:20 EST CY6n+z7L No.532035
File: 1570514780755.jpg -(6653819B / 6.35MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Disconnection
I can afford a therapist so I've come to the internet to get complete strangers opinions.

So I'm a super introvert(moved to a new state and made one friend that I only talk to at work and have never met outside work introvert) anime watching dude.

If i watch an anime that's happy I'll beam with joy and if i watch one that's sad I'll openly cry to it.
But when it comes to real life problems I lack all emotions and turn to thinking through the situation as logically as I can to not seem like a robot.
An example with be that my mom almost OD'd a while back and I was the one that found her after she puked up an asortment of pills. In that moment i felt nothing and asked her if i should call an ambulance. She said yes and I still had the moment where I wondered if it was the correct thing to do in the situation taking things into factor like
Will she get in trouble for having these pills in her system... I did end up calling because I knew if I didn't there was a chance she would die.
But I was so disconnected from it all. I thought if she died what would happen to my little sister, where would she go? Who would she live with.

I truly care about my mom but I didn't shed a tear I didn't feel anything and I did everything the way I thought it was supposed to be done giving the circumstances.

I've gotten that way with girlfriends when they get emotional about things to. It bothers me to not feel the way I think I should and I dont know how to not go blank in those moments.

Anyone have any (non/professional) advice for me?
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Blank - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 12:38:10 EST CY6n+z7L No.532052 Reply
>>532042
Spot on honestly, and I'm not even sure how to unpack the emotions if I cant find them. Even thinking about those things later in life its just looking at it rationally

Aasf

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- Tue, 01 Oct 2019 18:36:59 EST D1cB2v15 No.531934
File: 1569969419362.jpg -(487988B / 476.55KB, 2340x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Aasf
Hi. So I'm 25, trans-male, have been working as a full-time "recovery worker" in a residential setting for a year trying to help folks with anything from depression, panic disorders to paranoid schizophrenia and helping them prepare for living "in the community".

Im starting to question my choices in life. Having studied substance misuse interventions, worked briefly in a residential detox house, done outreach work and peer mentoring for a homeless charity, been a carer for clients with dementia and Alzheimer's, one would think that I must have a strong desire to pursue a career as a qualified therapist or as a more intensive worker since that seems to be the trajectory I'm on.

In a actual fact I feel very daunted and depressed at this. Most organisations I've worked for have abused or neglected clients, and contain a depressed and toxic workforce, underpaid, overworked.

I grew up with a father who suffered quite a lot from schizotypal personality disorder and a mother who was abusive to him. Starting to wonder if this has given me a misled sense of having to be " the helper"

In my real life, when I get to take off my work persona I am addicted to smoking weed, I have struggled with depression and anxiety (like most people these days) and I have bouts of months at a time where I feel suicidal and experience anhedonia. I resent having to exist, and I feel too lazy and exhausted from having to pick myself up off the floor so many times to do the whole excercise-eat right-meditate-hobbies thing. Not only that but I've been living as male for the past 4 years but for various reasons am struggling to obtain testosterone regularly so I'm basically a 25 year old that still looks and sounds 16 and I'm sure this irregularity of hormone treatment is fucking with me in some way.

Today I was very close to throwing myself Infront of a car. And also very close to ghosting my job.

The last time I tried a non helping job I felt like this too. But I'm starting to wonder if trying to support people as a career is a poor choice for me, as fulfilling as it can be. What if I just have a misguided sense of caring towards people just because of my parents, my experiences etc. I'm also a bit of a stoner and used to eat Xanax. I've stolen medication in the past to get high off codeine. Basically I feel like a fucking liability. My doctor won't give me any more therapy because they said I have to be at least 3 months clean of smoking weed first. I feel like im living a double life and even the idea of going sober or finding another job seems too overwhelming. I just want to be happy.


So yeah. I know this is a lot to take on board but does anybody have any advice? And yes this is a cry for help.
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Isabella Dobbledut - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 02:36:52 EST 9Apb3BrE No.532040 Reply
>>531944
OP here. Glad to hear that you're finding happiness elsewhere.
>>
Isabella Dobbledut - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 02:38:17 EST 9Apb3BrE No.532041 Reply
>>531948
It's comforting to hear I'm not alone in some of my behaviours in this line of work. I have plenty of friends who use coke and what not on the weekends. I was feeling pretty suicidal when I posted but now I'm feeling a lot better after taking some time for myself. Thanks for your reply duder
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Polly Battingstidge - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 07:33:13 EST hsjTltEH No.532050 Reply
>>532041
Is it possible that you are just a workaholic? Not that your problem is a work addiction, but things that are designed to treat work addiction can also treat the tendency of health care workers to involve themselves so much in care at work that all they know how to do is alleviate suffering, so you go home every day and alleviate instead of just living your life.

the desire to hold and be held

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- Wed, 18 Sep 2019 16:40:13 EST USUZpST+ No.531797
File: 1568839213110.jpg -(454485B / 443.83KB, 1536x2048) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. the desire to hold and be held
without irony or pity
is physically painful.
that is all
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Eliza Clindlepock - Mon, 07 Oct 2019 05:12:38 EST 1VcUBcZx No.532022 Reply
>>532021
Well they might not be the best friends, but he better get lonely or get over it because his ass probably isn't getting any other ones. Or maybe he tried hugging random employees at work and thought they were friends.

>>531900
sorry man but if you don't want to look later-homo you better knock it off with the hugs shit
>>
Angus Shittingville - Mon, 07 Oct 2019 22:28:29 EST 3B0UQ3IY No.532033 Reply
>>531921
>>532022
Of course, since it weirded them out I stopped, but I don't care how I look and I'll do as I please, thank you.

Too much

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- Tue, 01 Oct 2019 22:22:42 EST 2XVEGG21 No.531942
File: 1569982962035.jpg -(46567B / 45.48KB, 373x332) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Too much
I thought today would finally be the day that marked my freedom, that opened my doors, that would allow me to begin my journey towards financial stability which in turn would lead to happiness. "I will no longer be poor. I will no longer be poor!" I lied to myself. Is there really some sort of force out there that wants to keep me living in poverty? I truly cannot handle this anymore.

The pharmacy technician exam was nothing like I studied for. I went in confident but that confidence quickly fizzled out. I can retry it before the end of the year, but it'll be my last chance. After that I'll need to attend some sort of mandatory course, and I'm sure that won't be freely accessible online.

I really don't have many options. I'll keep reapplying at other jobs locally, but I can only do so much when they don't do as much as interview me. I only have so many options with no car and no public transport. I want to buy a car but it's too expensive. Having a car would be incredible. More opportunities... I wouldn't have to walk to work anymore. Walking to work, working outside all day, then walking home is too much. It's hot. It's so hot here. Humid, humid heat. I love walking but not in this environment. I'm not from here and I don't know when I'll get used to this extreme heat. I want to go back to college but I need a car to do that. To afford a car I need a better job, but to get a better job I need a car. Pharmacy work would break me out of this cycle, there are plenty of pharmacies nearby, but as they don't hire trainees I need to pass the exam. If I don't pass it next time I don't know what I'll do.

I'm so exhausted.
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Cyril Sapperstone - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 21:24:32 EST 2XVEGG21 No.532010 Reply
>Get prescribed Wellbutrin to try and help me focus
>Just makes me feel more depressed
Great... Back to just Lexapro and Hydroxyzine I guess.

Why are abusive people better in bed?

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- Wed, 21 Aug 2019 12:45:00 EST mzNTCNcn No.531178
File: 1566405900954.jpg -(36577B / 35.72KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Why are abusive people better in bed?
In my dating/sex life across my teens and twenties (I just turned 30) I always noticed a correlation: the more abusive and emotionally unpredictable a person is, the better in bed they are.

If a woman is sweet, caring, and emotionally supportive of my mental illness, the sex is gonna probably be aight but nothing to write home about. If a woman is bitchy, confrontational, screams at me constantly, and belittles me, you can bet your ass that sex is gonna be hot, sweaty, biting, scratching, hair-pulling, animalistic sex. The head game is gonna be fire. Abusive partners are always the best submissives in BDSM relationships. In a non-abusive relationship, sex with be 3-4x a week. In an abusive relationship, sex is going to be multiple times a day.

Why the sex game gotta be so fire with horrible people? My last relationship I wanted to leave so badly but the sex was just too good that is was worth being slapped around and being told to kill myself. Thankfully she dumped me eventually for another guy (who is now a crippling alcoholic and pill-popper thanks to her). I just don't understand the psychology of it.
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Jist - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 06:45:20 EST LbPBpo3d No.531945 Reply
1570013120039.jpg -(3449686B / 3.29MB, 3456x4608) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>531178
Well the way I think of it is, if she's too hot to you, you want to think about some fucked up deformed shit while in the do, while the flip is pretty obvious. Try finding a butter face or something man. Hot ones for me just ended up whoring out, or wanting you to think that. While all my luck luck went to shit with these half decent wemon getting pre maturely pregnant (17- 25) with guys before they make something of there self. It's really hard to find a good balance for me. I guess it's nice to see my brothers grow with there wemon. It's also nice to know that there's Hope for these youngins. Maybe it's the father in me but relationships work the best when both have already made their staple in society ECT. Ect.
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Fuck Fanfield - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 19:43:45 EST Vggnt5aG No.532007 Reply
Op is onto something, and it's definitely no kink.

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