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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

anything provocative about initiating conversation with women?

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- Sun, 07 Jul 2019 13:33:31 EST oi3dpPBT No.530267
File: 1562520811264.jpg -(148322B / 144.85KB, 800x1022) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. anything provocative about initiating conversation with women?
Hey qq

So I am an autist loner with serious communication/social skills issues, but sometimes I like to go to raves and while I am there (if I'm high enough and not overwhelmed with anxiety) go up to strangers and start conversations.

This is apparently normal behaviour at hippie-tier parties so I feel like I'm doing what's expected of me when I try and befriend strangers. But I only really start conversations with other guys as I view a guy starting a conversation with a guy as just friendly behaviour and not inherently provocative in any way. But I have a different view about talking to women... in my mind if a man goes up to a woman without having a clear, valid reason for talking to her, that is an "approach" and thus will be deemed inherently as a sexual advance and therefore the woman will have been provoked and become hostile if she is not attracted to him.

Typing this I realise that sounds slightly irrational. I always held this as assumption in my mind but thinking back I haven't had that many experiences that suggest this is true. Will girls automatically assume I am trying to fuck them if go up to them and start a conversation?

I am going to a festival on Friday and wanna practice going out of my comfort zone by approaching more people.... if I decide I'm gonna try to talk to X number of girls per day can I expect them to get hostile and defensive? Not even necessarily wanting to get laid (obviously that would be nice but I doubt it will happen) I've just had enough of social anxiety ruining my life.
9 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jack Brussledale - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 11:35:54 EST 2dpbGRKS No.530363 Reply
are You OP?
that's pretty cool though even if it was the drugs and she hopped on another penis
Nell Buzzville - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:54:29 EST h9SterRi No.530365 Reply
Ayyy boys, im also in this boat. I really suck at talking to girls. I virtually have more chance of sleeping with girls im not attracted to bcos its easier to talk to them. My last lucky shot happened when i forced myself to start talking to people, and had a little conversation with a chubster. At some point she said "ok lets drink tpgether tomorrow night" and we did. At some point my leg was against hers and i just left it there. It felt like the easiest thing in the world somehow. Just get drunk and somehow fall between each others legs.
Now im losing my shit a little bit over a girl that obviously likes me but we dont know amythimg about each other. We live in the same building and the other night i was out smoking a joint when she comes home from the pub. She asks me for a paper as an excuse to start a conversation and i cant help but melt when i look into her eyes. I am however horribly sleep deprived and a little stoned at that point, ive beem working alot the last few weeks so also just busy and tired. I realise in hindsight that i ahouldve been at least a little bit nicer and tried more to facillitate this connection. But fuck... i make these mistakes all the time. The rest of the time im just too nervous and inhibited to start a conversation about nothing and see where it goes. But thats all you have to do...the rest will do itself.
Archie Ginnerwell - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 23:00:52 EST SLZ94LIZ No.530375 Reply
1562900452250.jpg -(153417B / 149.82KB, 1100x687) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
thanks man I am not OP I am >>530268 (don't we have ID's here breh?), and yeah I think it was the drugs mostly me on the MDMA and more importantly indecision! That's what I was trying to warn OP about. I don't lurk this board much and never posted, I REALLY appreciate the kindness from this thread. Gives me hope that I haven't gotten anywhere else. The other thread about anxiety gave me hope too even just reading other people's experiences. I just came in to wish OP well before his festival. OP I hope the vibes and intuition guide you. Have fun, that's what everyone's there for!

I'm depressed and everything sucks

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- Sat, 06 Jul 2019 00:05:07 EST em7ipYii No.530224
File: 1562385907295.jpg -(303823B / 296.70KB, 1280x1024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm depressed and everything sucks
I'm halfway though my twenties and I've realized I spent the last half decade slowly becoming a lonely salty cunt. For the past 5 years I invested the majority of my time into my career and my hobbies, but I just don't find any of it fulfilling anymore. The future that I've been working so hard towards feels like nothing more than a pipe dream now. I haven't had a relationship or any intimacy in forever, my friends have all moved away or died. The disillusionment I feel towards the world is immense, and I wonder if I'll ever be happy in this weird bizarro reality.

How do I get out of this mess? I've been trying to fight my depression by exercising, watching my diet, learning things, staying busy, but I've slipped back into another downward spiral. I've never felt this low before though, I struggle to even pretend that I'm happy now. People have been making comments to me, asking me if I'm alright, what's wrong, etc. I just tell them I'm tired, I'm always tired. My parents have noticed and they want me on medication but I've taken SSRIs before and they suck ass. I feel trapped, I need to escape this mental hell I've created for myself but I don't know how. Everything about the world seems so bleak, people so callused and apathetic, nothing gives me hope.

I need to rekindle the lust for life inside of me. I want to make good friends and love amazing people. I want to be happy and share that feeling with others. It's such a simple need and yet it feels impossibly out of reach.

I'm wondering about this boards personal experiences with depression. What has helped you get out of a rut? I'm open to anything at this point.
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Archie Blidgeket - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 20:19:05 EST em7ipYii No.530347 Reply
1562804345776.jpg -(42190B / 41.20KB, 540x405) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
OP here.

I stopped smoking weed and that has stabilized me somewhat. Still feel pretty shitty at times but my depression feels less intense. Plus I've been having dreams at night again.

My pot consumption was really low for the last 6 months, less than a gram a week. I didn't think it was really doing anything to me but apparently it was.

Pretty bummed about this because I really liked smoking weed after work to help me relax.
Fucking Fommerwot - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 21:41:11 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530351 Reply
It can become a crutch man.. Good job recognizing that.
Cornelius Hogglekodge - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:35:14 EST oXo9Ddud No.530364 Reply
It sounds like youve done well enough to indulge yourself, but you have no duties are aren't truly responsible for anything. Nothing hangs in the balance for you. I would strongky advise deleting social media, dont use local chats where people just talk over eachother, and try volunteering on the weekends.

Take othrr peoples stories into your hands. You will gain perspextove snd be able to tell yourself you made an actual difference at the end of the day.

I am just starting this as a broken down 30 year old man. It doesnt get a whole lot better but I haven't done any russian roulette like my last birthday - so here's to us.

How do I stop being a bitch without abandoning my convictions?

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- Fri, 05 Jul 2019 02:31:06 EST Je9nm5wp No.530210
File: 1562308266854.jpg -(38771B / 37.86KB, 800x522) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I stop being a bitch without abandoning my convictions?
I have very strong political beliefs, everyone in my family does. Half of us are either liberals or further to the left (where I fall) and the other half are hard, hard right. We're basically split right down the middle. Leads to lots of arguments but most of them remain civil, and when things get too heated we just agree to stop talking about it.

Recently though, things have really taken a turn for the worse. In the past, the people who really agitate were the people on the right and the rest of us kind of rolled our eyes and change the subject, offering soft rebuttals whenever something way too absurd is said. But at this point we've really just gotten tired their shit and come out of the gate swinging, and things escalate VERY quickly. I've seen people get angrier than I've ever seen them get over anything. To the point where it was genuinely frightening and felt like it could quickly spiral into blows or at least permanent damage to relationships.

Everyone says things they regret and the increased tension is always kind of present no matter what. Like it'll only take one off comment by someone on either side to get shit going.

I mean obviously I love my family, which is why it's so hard when they say absolutely reprehensible shit. You can't do anything about it. It's to the point where some of the things they believe aren't "just opinions", it's not like they're just conservatives like they used to be, in recent times they've been pushed FAR to the right. Us on the left feel as though we have a moral obligation not to let some of their shit stand.

From our perspective, it's impossible to just roll your eyes when they suggest putting up garrisons at the border to shoot the "invaders" before they can cross. Or they say the preacher who suggested the death penalty for homosexuals "might be on to something". Or following an animal abuse scandal at a local farm say "they should've known better than to hire Mexicans". Or call atheists and Muslims "satanists". Or say AIDS is a "gay plague" that is actually good because it discourages people from being gay. Or say doctors should get life in prison for performing abortions. Or call climate change a "conspiracy theory".

Like I said, we're not talking about people who just think we should take a hands' off approach to the economy and lower taxes and protect gun rights. We're talking about people with extreme disdain for a huge percentage of their fellow human beings.

That being said, if anyone in my family were to be the target of political violence it would destroy me. At the same time though, I don't necessarily disagree with the necessity of it.

Today my aunt was devastated because she was very attached to that Ravelry thing that put a stand against, well, people like her. And she was driven out of the community by people she considered friends. It makes me so fucking sad that this is happening to her. But at the same time, I don't disagree with anything Ravelry said or did, in principle.

We've started arguing with our own flesh and blood with so much vitriol but when I really take a step back, I have a lot of sympathy for the other side. They're just misinformed, and scared, and desperately trying to extract some sort of meaning from life and doing it in the only way they know how. When they're upset by NFL players kneeling or changing demographics it's so easy to write it off as dumb jingoism and prejudice but it cuts them to the core. They've found so much personal meaning in shit that is objectively meaningless and they've dug their heals in instead of realizing that their beliefs aren't grounded in reality and are causing real harm to society.

They don't see their hatred as such, they see it as love for "their people", but that means nothing. It's just primitive us vs. them thinking. I know exactly how it feels. I've been on the extreme right myself. You don't operate in reason. It FEELS like you're right, so you must be but you just aren't. And it takes a lot to be deprogrammed from that.
20 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Lillian Grandcocke - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 06:23:41 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530357 Reply
>everyone else is a fool for having beliefs but me, who has none :^)
truly, you are the enlightened one here. nb
Barnaby Clinkinhood - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:01:17 EST A8m11hb5 No.530358 Reply
>we DON'T live in a society!!
>WE DON'T WE DON'T WE DON'T!! *stomps foot angrily*
But we do.
James Firrywater - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 10:32:45 EST Je9nm5wp No.530362 Reply
Alright well Charles Dickens thanks for gracing my thread, theres a lot of shit there but I'm just gonna say you strike me as the kind of centrist lib who caused the Weimar Republic to fall. Please see >>530313.

If someone is saying they want to take away peoples human rights, bring down our democracy, deport certain ethnicities en masse, or even go so far as to institutionalize killing people for things they can't change, to campaign so hard for their rights is completely self-destructive and stupid. Even, dare I say it, c*cked.

That of course would assume that you're defending these people out of love of some abstract ideal, and not because you actually agree with them and that

>That's a hard one because there's so many situations where it's the right thing

is probably not true.

And last and certainly least:

>Climate change in the direction we're headed may very well be a natural cycle. It's happening, but we don't really know what the outcome will be.

This just isn't true. People like to defend science to the death when it agrees with them and conveniently ignore the bits that don't. There is reams and reams of research suggesting anthropogenic climate change on an unimaginable scale. Why should we risk the world literally ending because "actually if you look at these studies funded by the oil industries, it kind of casts doubt on the whole thing, I'm really smart"

Living your life as a jerk

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- Mon, 29 Apr 2019 08:09:06 EST qSBAVAm/ No.529066
File: 1556539746975.jpg -(155233B / 151.59KB, 867x1390) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Living your life as a jerk
>lived my entire life (so far) only to find out that I have never been able to socialize because I was an annoying jerk with no manners and just generally unpleasant to be around

I bet that this is 99% of all "enthusiasm" cases. My only serenity is that I only found out because I am improving, but I often realize that I have a long way to go before I am completely healed.
9 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
John Dollyworth - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 09:32:04 EST qSBAVAm/ No.530289 Reply
>my ties to family are very thin and just superficial.
I recently realized this too. Absolutely the worst feel.

I don't have this problem anymore though. I solved my problems by learning basic social skills which is actually very easy and makes tons of sense if you just realize the very basics. I am still learning and I am currently in the process of exploring how you socialize.
Barnaby Clinkinhood - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:16:27 EST A8m11hb5 No.530359 Reply
When I was in school we didn't have aspergers or asd. You were literally Ralph from The Simpsons, but with a temper. Very off-putting.

Getting sexually harassed by grandmas at my workplace

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- Sat, 06 Jul 2019 07:00:11 EST 3rRLu48v No.530231
File: 1562410811957.jpg -(158297B / 154.59KB, 540x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Getting sexually harassed by grandmas at my workplace
Male, 25 here.

We've had a summer-fair at my workplace (home for elderlies) 2 days ago.

My job is to do what caretakers do: Help with shopping, hygiene and food-preparation.

Our boss "recommended" that we dance with the old ladies to some horrible music. I didn't want to do this, because of kinda shy and the thought about a old and stranger person press herself against me, made me really uncomfortable.

But every other coworker grabbed an old person and danced away and my boss looked at me with that requesting look.

So I did what I had to do, tried to make it as enjoyable for the grann as possible (smiles and all) but then she grabbed and squeezed my butt and when I had to bring her to her room after the music, she tried to fucking kiss me!!

I think its important to add that not all residents are senile here. And she was one of these who arent! So she knew exactly what she was doing (even saying that I am married did not help. She stopped but tried it again!)

I nearly threw up!
I was disgusted and I couldn't smile or anything.

I had the whole day nightmares and I tried to avoid this particular person during my shift.

I told it my coworker and she laughed it off. I tried to tell it more people I trust at my workplace, but everyone laughed it off.
They experienced it too, but it was nothing to them.

How is this even remotely okay?

Some days forward and the female nurses complained about our male residents getting erections. ( a thing I don't have a problem with when taking care of our male residents, but I would never downplay their experiences!), and theygot all the support from our staff. Changing shifts and hours and all!

Thinking about quitting, but I am afraid its the same in very other home.

Its a shame, because I really loved my workplace and everyone was super satisfied with my job!

Anyone else in this profession who experienced this shit?
12 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jenny Fuckinggold - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 17:33:13 EST WBVk7rcL No.530343 Reply

Nigga, for all you know, OP was molest by grandmother

"Hurr-durr, breathing masks? Those are just gor the egg-heads upstaire. You're a gield engineer, boy!"

Doris Hurryman - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 19:14:27 EST yjKCqZwL No.530345 Reply
Fucking castrati here can't handle the coogs at his job he'll never land a girlfriend
Lillian Grandcocke - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:58:05 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530361 Reply
You're the reason why MRAs are so loud and annoying these days. Fuck off and die, wastedump.


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- Wed, 10 Jul 2019 18:15:47 EST qSBAVAm/ No.530344
File: 1562796947127.jpg -(18662B / 18.22KB, 630x603) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fetish
>wonder why my sexual fantasies have gone stale over the last few years
>realize it is due to a lack of humiliation
>targeted at me


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- Mon, 08 Jul 2019 23:50:39 EST 2XVEGG21 No.530303
File: 1562644239052.jpg -(787148B / 768.70KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Ack
Goddamn, I just don't know what to do. Every time, without fail, I'm either blocked from progressing from the start, or I'm thrown back to square one once I get close to my goals.

I have a shitty job right now but I can't handle it anymore. I live in an area where it reaches ungodly high temperatures for eight months out of the year and feels worse due to the humidity. The kind of job I have requires you to work outside for extended periods of time, which I actually didn't know upon applying, but it's not as if I had any other choice. Beggars can't be choosers and no one else wanted to interview me. I walk to and from work as I can't afford a car and I don't earn enough yearly to apply for a credit card, thus I'm relatively sure I couldn't even get car insurance or other required shit for that even if I owned a vehicle. While there are a good number of businesses immediately around where I live, my job opportunities are still severely limited and will be for a while.

It's so fucking humiliating arriving at work after a 20 minute walk, completely drenched in sweat. While on the clock they'll forget about our stupid asses outside and ignore our requests to be switched out with someone inside. It's exhausting walking home in the suffocating humidity after being outside all day. My medication causes me to have night sweats so I can't even escape it in my own home, damn it.

I was so, so close to being able to afford a car. About a grand in my bank, about $500 in cheque money, some other shit was on the way; it was good. I was so close to being able to get the secure credit card I've had my eyes on so I could start building a credit score. Almost another step closer to freedom. But then my mom came to visit and she always drains my bank account. She's been like this ever since I was little. She's mentally ill, bless her, but fuck. She couldn't get her drivers license in time so I dropped around triple digit numbers on Uber drives. So many other things happened before and after she left so now I'm down to around $400 in the bank. About a hundred more than what I started with last year. Back to square one.

I've been reapplying at all the businesses around me but no one wants to even interview me, just like before. I have an 11 hour shift coming up and we only get a single half hour break for anything between 5.5-11 hours work. I'm not asking for perfection, I just... want something that's slightly more tolerable. That's all. What am I meant to do. Am I really supposed to get on my knees and suck cock for a cashier position at a place Kroger? Maybe I'm just doing something wrong and I'm not seeing it. My resume looks as good as it can be considering my past. I'm energetic and can carry myself well enough in interview situations, or so I think anyway. I've tried asking my therapist but all she says is "Just keep trying" and the like. Is it worth using assistance programs as ultimately I'm currently seen as "disabled"? Or would those work against me? Companies aren't supposed to discriminate against people whom are marked as such but you know they do anyway. Have any of you guys managed to get and keep jobs with those?

... I'm not even moving forward for myself at this point. Just for my girlfriend. She means the world and more to me. Her beautiful smile, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle, how emotionally connected her are on even the deepest levels.... Everything about her perfection and I want to give her everything and more. I want to be able to help her pay her mortgage, take her on trips around the world, buy her anything and everything she wants. I don't want to depend on her to drive me places anymore. I feel bad... I'm not suicidal anymore but I still can't take this. I want to lock myself away but I can't.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Lydia Gozzlebury - Tue, 09 Jul 2019 18:13:30 EST 2XVEGG21 No.530324 Reply
Ah, those government assistance programs are just if you're severely mentally ill and need help building your resume, which I don't need. They also don't secure interviews and the like. Damn.
Beatrice Fungerwat - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 01:57:43 EST GiCOfox9 No.530331 Reply
I think it's wonderful that your girlfriend is there to give you a lift.
Ebenezer Hongerwell - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 10:35:17 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530338 Reply
Well wait a second, maybe you have a therapeutic goal now. If you can't get through an interview, maybe that's something you and your therapist can work through. Maybe diagnostic roleplay or smth.

Does anything ever change, really?

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- Tue, 09 Jul 2019 16:26:11 EST OcRzmCVE No.530319
File: 1562703971976.jpg -(36518B / 35.66KB, 780x439) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Does anything ever change, really?
Say i moved someplace else, abandoned the relarionships i currently have, adopted a lifestyle i imagine i would enjoy, would it really be any different?
3 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Sidney Fimbledare - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 07:05:54 EST OcRzmCVE No.530335 Reply
1562756754855.jpg -(54378B / 53.10KB, 550x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Ah well, guess better get used to it then.
Ebenezer Hongerwell - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 10:31:24 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530336 Reply
Depends on what you bring with you. Perhaps it isn't all those things that are dragging you down, maybe it's you.


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- Mon, 08 Jul 2019 04:42:23 EST UelVVgpu No.530284
File: 1562575343992.gif -(649619B / 634.39KB, 480x392) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Shelter
I think I'm going to an abuse shelter soon, like in the next few months I'll be able to get myself to do it. I'm very lucky in that my two best friends will support me even if I don't have anyone else, family or otherwise, but I'm scared of my life turning upside-down, and I feel heartbroken and just like complete dirt.
Jenny Weffingfotch - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 05:38:16 EST JCATCBbz No.530286 Reply
OP! Don't feel bad for wanting a better life. EVER! You're admirable for pursuing a better life. Fuck labels and tags, you're just chasing improvement and that's inspiring. Good on you.
Cyril Pockleridge - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 08:25:17 EST Bs7kqlWt No.530287 Reply
Your life is upside down right now if you're planning on going to a shelter. So it can turn right side up. But getting out of your situation won't make it worse.
Esther Nomblelig - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 17:17:09 EST bZjBiC2x No.530300 Reply
You've made the first step in the right direction by acknowledging this isn't right. I'd do it in the next few days if you can though.

Dark life

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- Sun, 07 Jul 2019 18:57:04 EST 4Yq/zP1e No.530276
File: 1562540224696.jpg -(45533B / 44.47KB, 250x364) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dark life
My life is dark.
There is no future written.
I was as a innocent in a prison.
It didn't change anything.
Being innocent changes nothing.

I stalked the love of my life
She rather had sex with married man and now with a colombian ghettokid
Than she would have recognized me
As a person
Every pain and obstacle inside slowly kills me
Every tear did long ago dry and I can't even cry anymore
I can't even laugh
No even did understand me
The hate for my love is the only thing that keeps me alive
My hate is the only close relate I have
My love was never recognized nor respected... I was laughed at...
I'm not being any good or bad
I'm just a hollow with the desire for fire
The lost love keeps me and keeps my hatred alive
I swear that I will bring her close what I feel
And to make her ghettoboy my dog...

I shall take vengeance
This is my oath
Give me a road

Jenny Weffingfotch - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 01:46:11 EST JCATCBbz No.530282 Reply
Yo OP. Don't stress bitches. Just move on to the next one. If this one didn't respond to you, that's no fault of yours. Seriously. There are chicks out there that will respond to you as you are. Don't get hung up on this one idea. Let her go.
Cyril Pockleridge - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 10:31:24 EST Bs7kqlWt No.530292 Reply
Do you ever get high and jack off thinking about her? Must be incredible... If you did the drugs she likes you could get her too. This isn't about friendship or love of companionship for her, she's hot and a girl and guys will give her drugs and food and attention if she offers herself up for sexytime. You will never understand this mentality. Stop ramming your head against it.

Self help cbt links?

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- Sat, 06 Jul 2019 18:40:38 EST l0bJVUWw No.530252
File: 1562452838342.jpg -(171893B / 167.86KB, 1762x816) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Self help cbt links?
Ok so I've been on ssri for 3 months now and I noticed my mood being more unstable since a few weeks. I was wondering if anyone had a link or recommandation to any decent cbt exercises. It helped me quite a lot to follow it with a professional but I'm broke as fuck rn and I feel like I could commit to it by myself. Thanks by advance.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
William Sottingbure - Sun, 07 Jul 2019 18:44:36 EST Bs7kqlWt No.530275 Reply
I got an email from a Buddhist. There was no attachment.

sjw millenial and indifferent gen xer

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- Tue, 25 Jun 2019 16:43:51 EST Nocxtt2B No.530007
File: 1561495431150.jpg -(47961B / 46.84KB, 735x1102) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. sjw millenial and indifferent gen xer
gen xers don't care about shit. they think everything is funny and ironic. he thinks there are two genders and that black people can be racist against white people. he doesn't understand what racism is or the history of it or racialism. he is not interested to learn. i care deeply about these things and he laughs at me. otherwise we get on. he is not interested in politics. i tell him how to vote so it's like i get two votes.

are we just too different. is it like a christian and an atheist or a democrat and a republican, should we just break up
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Edwin Murdford - Sat, 06 Jul 2019 21:31:55 EST yUhAjzvV No.530258 Reply
>As well, even if we use the strictest definition of racism, which I believe is prejudice hand in hand with power
If by "strictest" you mean the most rigid and minimalistic, then you're wrong. There's nothing about racism that requires the offender in question to have power. Racism is simply prejudice and/or discrimination against someone based on the color of their skin or ethnicity, usually stemming from a belief that one's own skin color/race/ethnic group is superior.

There's no fucking loophole involving a differential in power between the two parties involved that allows somebody to avoid being recognized and classified as a bigoted piece of shit. The narrative that racism is prejudice/discrimination + power is some mental gymnastics bullshit used to shamelessly rationalize and even at times encourage the disgusting and immoral behavior of people who belong to historically marginalized groups and choose to engage in bigotry.
Alice Fummerfitch - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 15:56:08 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530299 Reply
>disgusting and immoral behavior of people who belong to historically marginalized groups
what a way to disguise your status as a /pol/uter
back to the future, McFly

Personal and family life

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- Thu, 04 Jul 2019 03:12:49 EST Y/IBjRot No.530190
File: 1562224369818.jpg -(52423B / 51.19KB, 612x750) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Personal and family life
My grandpa (moms side) turns 80 at the end of November. So my family decides they’re throwing a surprise birthday party for him. For god knows what reason they’re throwing it in September. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue but I’ve been planning a trip to a music festival the same weekend for over a month. The fact that it’s not even remotely close to this mans birthday makes it even worse. The party is also going to be very unorganized because it was supposed to be at my parents house but now my parents sold their house and are living at my fathers cousins house until they find a new place, and my fathers cousin is a dirty redneck that’s my age.

I could bail on my grandpas birthday party. But the social repercussion from this would be terrible. I would be known as the 1 family member that bailed on my grandpas party to go to an acid orgy. The entire family knows what goes on at those things.

I honestly don’t know what to say or do, except it’s kinda bullshit.
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Eliza Gommledock - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 10:40:17 EST 00BGhIbS No.530200 Reply
Don't listen to this moron. If you have a decent relationship with your family, you ought go to your grandfather's party.

It sucks to alienate your family, and unless they're awful you'll probably regret it if you do.
Awe' God !!Bwteoy2D - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 15:35:22 EST l1NmIjLu No.530207 Reply
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You aren't supposed to be a companion to someone (or a group) just because they expect it from you, but you have to be honorable - tell them that they are projecting onto you what you don't feel inside and level the playing fields. If the camaraderie is not felt from both parties one should proceed with utmost respect so that harmony is maintained and you can still interact on good terms. Otherwise if you are really in esprit de corps, you wouldn't be breaking your head over this and just do what feels right. At least be honest with yourself OP, everything else will follow effortlessly. If however it is the unlikely case that you are actually honest and the balance hangs right in the middle of the two options, it's also a non issue, because you may as well flip a coin and you won't regret your decision afterwards because you did the best you could.
Edward Winkinlock - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 15:39:54 EST Lny7/LNo No.530208 Reply
Go your grandpa's birthday for God's sake.

Dear Mom,

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- Thu, 04 Jul 2019 13:10:19 EST IJBeTWzx No.530204
File: 1562260219100.jpg -(245005B / 239.26KB, 806x1514) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dear Mom,
Disclaimer: This is one of those letters to someone who you need to express feelings to without intending on actually sending it. Perhaps with enough feedback, proofreading, and revisions, I will be comfortable and confident sending this one day. That is why I am here.

I wish that you understood while we grew up that we would have appreciated useful and practical things to stimulate creativity in young, developing minds, as opposed to the facade of an overly fancy house to provide people with the illusion that we are higher class than we ever actually were. I can’t even go home and eat a meal or use the printer or do a load of laundry but there has never been a single day that I have been alive that you didn’t smoke cancer-causing cigarettes. We would have benefited from a home with emotional, nutritional, academic, and social sustenance, not TV and cigarettes.

You have raised your second daughter making the same mistakes twice over that you could have avoided by learning from experience the first time. It’s not acceptable that [my sister] was a truant in school. Did you know that legally constitutes parental neglect? This parental neglect in turn caused [my sister] to experience issues obtaining her driver’s license and thus, an unrealistic and unsupported transition to adulthood. This is representative of how you raised us. We were not taught values, morals, ethics, or how to accept responsibility for our own actions and decisions. We were not taught to find something to believe it and stand up for it with passion. We were not taught how to own our autonomy and independence for good and how to support our decisions and actions with logic or reasoning. We were not taught to contribute to society or to be a part of a world that is much larger than just us. We were taught to respond to people with confrontation, scapegoating, aggression, hostility, impulsivity, downright negativity, and even physical attacks. Peoples' personalities in adulthood are determined by years of learned behaviors from parents and guardians. My personality in adulthood is in the effort to avoid being like you.

But because of the facade of this fancy house that does not and has never proportionately reflect our actual lifestyle, income level, or happiness, people often overlook the truth of parental/domestic negligence, avoidant parenting style, and verbal, emotional, psychological, and physical abuse that we have endured for years. You wanted this fancy house so much more than you wanted happy daughters that you have effectively attracted negative spirits to it, so it can not even be a happy and safe place to be. I don’t feel safe or welcome here. When I am here, I am reminded of being physically attacked and beaten by both of the only 2 people in the whole world that any person should ever really be able to trust - their mother and father.

I do not think of a childhood that had plentiful nutrition or emotional support. I do not think of parents that encouraged me in my academic pursuits or to ever engage in extracurricular or social activities. I have memories of a mother that got annoyed when I asked her to take me to the library to read books or to practice driving for my learner's permit. We shouldn’t have been allowed to graduate high school online. It deprived us of crucial social development that you had no idea of then and will now impact our ability to socialize and develop in adulthood. Other people my age have memories of their parents spending money to take them on vacations and share experiences traveling together. I have memories of my parents spending all of their money on making a house with no love inside of it superficially look like it did, alcohol, and cigarettes.

I think of parents that I only ever saw drinking and smoking and partying beyond their years, who then ridiculed their children for replicating the same learned behavior, then after verbal abuse over it, accepting it as if it was normal and okay. I used drugs in my bedroom as a teenager to escape the reality of growing up with parents that I felt like didn't love me. I was escaping the fear and resentment I harbor toward parents who gave up any respect I would ever have for them the moment they laid their hands on me when I was a child. Do you think that I deserved it? Do you think that children's actions are not the culminations of what they learned from adults and media? Do you think that anyone deserves to be beaten…
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Nigel Honeyman - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 14:31:22 EST bZjBiC2x No.530205 Reply
First of all, if you cannot express this verbally then a letter will be thrown away, ignored or just used to justify abuse. Getting even doesn't help and often just makes it worse for everyone. You should be thinking about how to get these people out of your life. Closure is something that only you can give yourself.

Dwelling on your shitty childhood doesn't really help beyond helping identify what is wrong, but even then knowing what's wrong is only good because you know what you need to fix.

Your eventual goal should be to put this letter away and not send it because you don't need to. One way or another.

So I assume you've moved away and started your own life? Worked out what makes you happy? Looked at expressing your creativity? worked out what you want to do with your life/career/whatever?
Awe' God !!Bwteoy2D - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 15:22:00 EST l1NmIjLu No.530206 Reply
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that's pretty cool, you should keep it up, OP

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