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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

Trying to Write A Novel

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- Mon, 29 Apr 2019 20:11:29 EST CKSAvv6M No.529106
File: 1556583089765.jpg -(40808B / 39.85KB, 370x370) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Trying to Write A Novel
But I only come up with good ideas when I smoke too much Indica and stay-up for five or six days straight.
6 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Hamilton Biffinghat - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 20:10:55 EST WNFQju07 No.529137 Reply
listen man I'm not going to encourage you to destroy your body with drugs in order to be creative, I'm just saying that this has worked all throughout history for people like Hemingway, King, London, Poe, etc. etc.

Do you really want to end up a famous author? Because that's what's going to happen if you keep doing drugs, son
Priscilla Ganderhood - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 20:48:52 EST ZLKpSfEG No.529138 Reply
Cannabis is hardly going to destroy your body.
Jenny Chodgebanks - Wed, 01 May 2019 06:55:39 EST WY0Rz3BV No.529148 Reply
daniel goleman's "focus" is on youtube and has some good tips, one is to do activities that let you rmind wander, such as going for a walk or cleaning... a lot of things we do nowadays kind of hold our attention and don't require us to pay attention at the same time, like twitter or video games.. you rmind jumps from one focus to another but never wanders, and wandering is where ideas can just suddenly come to you

run from probation?

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- Wed, 17 Apr 2019 04:00:11 EST UZC9gHak No.528842
File: 1555488011398.jpg -(88002B / 85.94KB, 900x709) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. run from probation?
is it possible to run from probation and still get my license back somehow? im on probation for a dui and i fucking HATE my life. i literally never smile i cant remember the last time ive smiled or felt happy literally has been years. at least before i had weed and shit and that helped and i felt great. i made a bunch of money online and was about to leave my shitty small town for good and then i got fucked with all this shit.

its so god damn sad out here. theres not one person. i have one friend who lives up the road like 5 miles away and thats it and hes literally enthusiastic he only says things like "yeah" and "okay" when talking to him and incredibly awkward and boring its the worst shit ever. whenever i do chill with him he just talks about video games or weird shit and hes just wrong about everything and gets defensive if you present him with facts or tell him the truth about anything and its really fucking annoying

is there a way to just run out on it and get my license back? im currently in a program to get my charges reduced down to a misdemeanor dui and then after that im just on normal fucking probation which could run on for fucking ever because my state is FUCKED and gives the longest probation sentences in the world. my shit state gives 2-4x as long probation or prison sentences for crimes out here as any other state does. i cant even smoke fucking weed. i got a medical card to smoke weed from a doctor and they told me all this shit about the judge wont let anyone smoke weed on probation without a note from a doctor saying youve tried every single pharmaceutical drug first and it didnt work which is fucking RETARDED.

can i just pay my fines and then run like the fucking wind and get my shit back? like after i pay my fines just get on the first fucking flight to the city i want to move to and then once my suspension period is over i can get a license again in a new state? and id just have a warrant and shit in my current shit area i dont even care about visiting again and just get my license back?

this place is literal hell. its always cold. theres no girls. theres nothing to do at all. my town is literally 2 dead roads no people nothing going on i dont know anyone. my life has been literal hell i have ptsd from my family, never been on vacation, never been anywhere happy. literally all ive ever seen is sad cold woods trapped inside all day nothing but dark grey depressing skies outside and a field of dead trees as far as you can see in any direction no matter how much you drive or do anything.

they told me in the office once my program is up i can easily transfer my probation within the state but i just feel like it wont work and something bad will happen anyways and its nearly impossible to do anything with 0 resources. ive literally never had anything i dont give a fuck about anything i just want to leave. the first PO i had was chill as fuck with me wanting to leave and didnt care then i got the biggest bitch in the building of a PO who just throws everyone in jail yells at everyone insults people literally doesnt care if youre living or dying just wants to push the rules on you as hard as possible thinks everyone is a drug addicted piece of shit and just needs to work and get a job and thats the end all be all of everything

i have money. i dont want to live in my shit town anymore. i cant smoke fucking weed im sad and alone all day i have fucking ptsd i dont smile i have tears running from my eyes every day just with nothing but the same 5 thoughts cycling all day long that make me want to kill myself. this is worse than ANYTHING
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Hedda Shakeshit - Wed, 01 May 2019 02:20:38 EST xVqB2K10 No.529145 Reply
1556691638585.jpg -(146395B / 142.96KB, 1060x555) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
You have to consider the Universe is one giant electrochemical reactiong.

anxiety attacks

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- Thu, 18 Apr 2019 11:56:06 EST T36o7HCg No.528858
File: 1555602966729.jpg -(90320B / 88.20KB, 900x690) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. anxiety attacks
Lately (i.e. past few months) i've been getting peculiar anxiety attacks every day, multiple times a day, during which it feels like the very act of existing, or knowing that anything exists at all, is profoundly horrifying. Like feeling that i'm a physical being in a body becomes disgusting and unbearable, I become unrecognizable in a mirror, and that the logical continuity of my life losing all meaning. It feels like everything becomes unreal or dream/nightmare like, & that i'm moments away from total mental collapse or becoming incomprehensible / insane, even though the evidence points to the contrary (gf + friends say that I'm acting normal if not somewhat depressed). I've been needing 12 hours of sleep lately and often I just dream about being depressed or losing my mind.

I've had panic attacks for years usually because of some hypochondriac fear of having a heart attack or a stroke but these have a different flavour to them and I dunno what to do. I'm not looking for some quick fix as much as I'm looking for reassurance that others have experienced similar & that i'm not going to lose my mind forever or slip into some catatonic state. When I see a GP about this sort of thing they usually assume i'm overwhelmed by fixable external things and they tell me to download a mindfulness phone app or suggest SSRI's. I exercise regularly and my diet is good. I'd like to talk to somebody but it's pretty much impossible here (UK) unless you're on the verge of suicide.
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Caroline Sivingfuck - Mon, 29 Apr 2019 08:29:04 EST JACeO/NE No.529067 Reply
Sounds like severe panic attacks and not any kind of psychosis to me. Had the same thing going on for two weeks, alongside severe derealization. Ssri is the way to go, alongside speaking about it with your relatives. Helps to keep you grounded.
Charles Shittingspear - Mon, 29 Apr 2019 16:55:13 EST oMFpLv34 No.529100 Reply
from somebody who suffered from this for a while and still has pretty bad anxiety, I just want to let you know it is normal and you are not going psychotic or something. I mean it isnt 'normal' but its common for this to happen to people.

sooo what worked for me was quitting drugs as it seemed to be the root of it. I also left a toxic relationship I had and left my parents house as that was the main roots of all my worries in life since my ex had cheated on me a few times and was still not doing jack shit to build trust and would not communicate with me. my parents were going through a nasty divorce and I was constantly in the middle of it.

once I left, I didnt have a panic attack since. I still had anxiety but it never lead into a panic attack. your situation might be different but if theres anything thats a big worry in your life, you need to address it. comparmentalizing it will only make this worse.

if theres no rhyme or reason for it, you might want to look into various therapy methods. if you have insurance try to find a psychologist first, then psychiatrist if you feel if the first doesnt help and medications might, and if you have no money, try to find self-therapy guides online.

I just started doing EMDR therapy which was originally for ptsd patients but has been extended into a lot of mental health issues. it sounds super gimmicky but despite that I went in with an open mind and I saw pretty good results. it didnt cure me but its also only been like a week so who knows. basically just be open minded to different therapies if they have a good track record via reputable research. dont listen to assholes telling you to fast for 20 days or to go vegan or some bullshit with no credibility behind it.
Charles Shittingspear - Mon, 29 Apr 2019 16:56:14 EST oMFpLv34 No.529101 Reply
meant to say that drugs were the trigger to it, not the root. nb

Possibly Going to Die or Worse

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- Sat, 27 Apr 2019 04:07:41 EST ApD5b+Tp No.528999
File: 1556352461318.png -(234440B / 228.95KB, 980x735) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Possibly Going to Die or Worse
I just reported my hometown to the UK/EU for their crimes against humanity. I bypassed US Federal Law Enforcement because they have no respect for me and treat me like an animal. They make the dumbest assumptions about me and ruined my life before it even began.

>Apparently there are corrupt Customs and Border Protection Offcials at LAX that call ahead to various criminal organizations and their associates in the LAPD/Airport Police as apart of an organized human trafficking and illegal organ transplantation ring. Everytime an international flight lands at LAX those travelers lives are at risk.

>Its not limited to people arriving at LAX. However thats the best place for any official investigation to begin. There is a larger conspiracy than a few corrupt CBP officials at the airport.

I kept seeing the signs. Such as a Korean gangster folllowing some white girl around in Koreatown.
John Wopperstock - Sat, 27 Apr 2019 05:00:17 EST ApD5b+Tp No.529004 Reply
Thanks for taking your time to respond. This had been going on for sometime and the means by which I had discovered this activity has incurred great risk to myself and those close to me.
Doris Gongerstire - Sat, 27 Apr 2019 21:03:59 EST ApD5b+Tp No.529023 Reply
Watch the white wash on this shit.

1 year clean and life still fucking sucks

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- Mon, 22 Apr 2019 23:50:49 EST eJOJi+3d No.528914
File: 1555991449783.jpg -(61115B / 59.68KB, 750x855) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 1 year clean and life still fucking sucks
About a year ago, I gathered the last of my meth, mixed a shot, and slid the needle into one of the few veins on my arm that was still easy to access. I drew up, and once the familiar splash of red came through, I plunged the liquid into my bloodstream. The all too well known feeling of elation, energy and confidence filled me for the last time.

At the time, I imagined making a post of this nature would be something victorious, something that would fill me with joy to share, but I regret to say that isn't the case.

A year on, things feel only marginally better than they did during the initial withdrawals, and the drug still haunts my nightmares, taunting me with pipes that empty themselves by the time I get them lit, needles that won't pierce my veins, a dragon chase that repeats itself in almost every dream that I can recall.

To be frank, I fucking miss the shit. I want nothing more than to wrap my lips around a pipe once more, to infuse my blood with its icy warmth. Nothing else in my life has so effectively masked the feelings of self-loathing and doubt that permeate my existence, nothing else has ever made me feel so whole, even temporarily.

A year of this unrelenting void has worn me down, every day I wake up to the same grey world, my brief moments of joy separated by vast chasms of emptiness that gnaw at me from the inside like some parasite, the deafening silence of my mind plaguing me like a psychic tinnitus. I've all but given up on hope of a better life, as hell is just that bit more bearable if you don't believe there's an escape.

So here we are. Guess to an extent I'm proud of what I achieved, but it honestly feels like a moot victory at this point.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Polly Clayforth - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 19:11:38 EST RXMFipUL No.528922 Reply
Yeah my wife used to have the same habit and 5 years later still has cravings and flashbacks. Though less lately. Her life has changed a whole lot for the better. It will be there for a long time though.

You don't just stop though and everything becomes better. Life isn't that easy. You need to build something. You need to change your life. It's now far more possible for you. They reckon that the antidote to drug addiction is social connection.
Henry Drollerchut - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 17:29:34 EST JCATCBbz No.528944 Reply
Molly, please stop forcing your ten day fast program on susceptible individuals. Fasting won't fix everything, you know.
Caroline Surringwurk - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:24:42 EST Otpbppud No.528947 Reply
1556159082146.png -(617133B / 602.67KB, 720x533) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
This. The opposite to addiction is not sobriety, it's connection. It's a buzzword from a ted talk but it's the basis of the Rat Park experiment https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park

It's a farcry from whatever you were addicted to (It's virtually nonexistent in my country, but i'm assuming pipe + needle = meth?) but I was a chronic weed smoker for 3 years. Smoked err'day, and needed to stop for various reasons, tolerance being one, job opportunities being another, etc etc. It also really fucked with me sexually also, as I was also addicted to porn and weed made me perverted. I'd smoke a joint and jack off for an hour (yes you read that right) to the weirdest shit then chill, smoke a j, repeat process x5.

For 2 months I was fucking miserable and got in the habit of smoking cigarettes. I realized for those 3 years how much things have changed and how little I have. Here I was with no sex drive, friends that have dwindled to a handful, a shit thankless job, no degree, slim but unhappy body, living with the parents at age 27. I realized that I used weed to just comfort my lack of drive towards anything.

To me the step towards connection, well, it was fucking. To go an fuck a girl, I needed to to do a lot of things, first fix my appearance. I used some savings to get a veneer done on my teeth to fix the gap, I went to a hairdresser and got groomed, I dumped a ton of my old clothing and got some new ones. Believe it or not, these tasks were still damn difficult, depression is a hell of a cunt. I stopped looking at porn and jerked off once every day, to once every second day, and so on till I wasn't masturbating at all. I rekindled an old friendship as I needed a wingman. My libido came back and had a few successful dates from tinder.

And you know, things are starting to be better, but also feel better. I'm now doing yoga everyday and while I'd like to smoke weed, sure, but I don't NEED it.

OP you've been clean for a year. Well done. But it still hurts and you know why - like me you've seen the curtain drop. The world is fucking hideous, of COURSE you miss the pipe. You need to fill the empty chasm that is your soul with things of substance. While many choose spirituality, I think that's a load of baloney and only works for some individuals. The left-hand path was my choice - sex. Like I said, to actually get sex I needed to change much, so really it's much better to look at sex as the reward, not the task at hand

>tl;dr - Go have sex.

what the fuck is wrong with people

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- Fri, 26 Apr 2019 21:24:26 EST lcs0FVJ4 No.528990
File: 1556328266099.jpg -(31333B / 30.60KB, 500x380) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what the fuck is wrong with people
My husbands been messaging people too hook up with online. I confronted him about it but now he just expects me to be over it now that he appologized. i'm not...i'm fucking pissed but trying to stay cool...what in the actually fuck do I do here. I've tried drafting something for circlejerk but right now I'm too upset about this for circlejerk. help!
6 posts and 4 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Emma Blannermodge - Fri, 26 Apr 2019 23:57:02 EST JCATCBbz No.528997 Reply
1556337422151.jpg -(65911B / 64.37KB, 539x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Go straight to him and explain your concerns. Let him know that his apology wasn't enough and that you're still emotionally wounded. Face this shit head on. Try not to be combative, because that will impede progress. But try to be rational. Let him know how you feel. As a guy I can say that sometimes we can't read emotions unless they're blatantly stated to us. So again, make it clear to him how you feel about what he's done. I'm sorry for you. Also, know that you do NOT have to settle. If he's playing games with you, don't waste your precious time. This is something that you don't want in the back of your mind in the future.

Best of luck and good wiggles to you.
Clara Siblingfuck - Sat, 27 Apr 2019 06:44:06 EST UZ9BzlLq No.529008 Reply
Id add to this is that in time your trust may recover, but it may also become apparent it will not. If this is the case your relationship is over. Don't continue because you "should" give him a chance, if the trust is gone it's gone and your relationship will be a prison. It's arrogant to expect you to be okay or appologise, but when he realises how badly he hurt you he may genuinely learn his lesson or he may not.

Another thing about people doing what they "should". You shouldn't make him sit in the doghouse "to get even" any more than you "should" forgive him. If you are upset then he should be aware of that. If he is sincerely sorry for what he did and wants to make it better don't make him sit out in the cold and sleep on the sofa longer than it takes to make it better. He was in the process of cheating and people do that for a reason. This is the hard part, find out why. Maybe he's just selfish and lazy or narcissistic or afraid of "Missing out" or some bullshit, maybe there's a need you aren't fulfilling, maybe he's raised it and you've dismissed it, or maybe he has been afraid to communicate it or you've not taken him seriously and you can fulfill it. A lot of the time people don't cheat for someone more attractive, just someone who gives them what they want. These all lead in different directions. You may be about to strengthen your marriage or end it for good as a result of this revelation, but find out and make sure you get the real reason. Which comes back to trust.

Of course this is only what I've seen of people handling this issue for worse or better. Usually worse. Watching my dad's second marriage break down because his wife cheated though gave me a very up close and personal view of how horrible it can all get when you can't accept it's over.

Also circlejerk isn't great for opinions, it has group think and a lot of people who are fucking lame. It's good when it's a fact like "rules interactions you didn't know for this tabletop game" the moment it hits right and wrong you'll get a single opinion.
Angus Buttingchire - Sat, 27 Apr 2019 09:26:32 EST OkXySVzB No.529011 Reply
if you haven't got kids, leave him... if you have kids this is beyond my skill set and I really don't know!

i wouldn't stay with someone who is planning to cheat on me, he is planning to cheat on you, maybe already has...

Race or ethnicity oriented fetish

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- Wed, 24 Apr 2019 10:41:23 EST hiKxQg3e No.528934
File: 1556116883516.jpg -(103465B / 101.04KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Race or ethnicity oriented fetish
If you're an attached person attached to the target of your fetish, but find yourself driven by compelling sexual urges in the presence of another person of a similar type, and they present ample opportunity and consent to do so, how do you fucking resist it, especially if it is persistent?
7 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jarvis Bungold - Thu, 25 Apr 2019 17:20:14 EST hiKxQg3e No.528956 Reply
1556227214131.png -(347853B / 339.70KB, 640x639) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
ok so made a thread on /sd/ for part of this but it's not getting attention (no surprise, dude, I was in a weird state) but i thought about this some more and figured out what bothers me about it all If a girl sleeps with many men, she's a slut, dudes a stud. This is what they all say. Now, turn it around. A man is a sex addict and a girl is a nymphomaniac. I hate this negative view of my sexuality. I am blessed with this insatiable sex drive, I just need to figure out how to save it for the right person and manage it when they're too tired, busy or filled with rotten menstrual blood.

She bought me a few male masturbators (they're nice actually) for when she's not here, mouth/asshole/pussy fleshlights but it's just not the same somehow. I'm considering getting a sex doll but it seems crazy lol
Esther Murdham - Thu, 25 Apr 2019 18:42:52 EST UZ9BzlLq No.528957 Reply
Sexuality gets different unfair views whichever way you view it. It's just down to people being dumb
>a man is a stud a woman is a slut
>a man is a weirdo a woman is a saint
>a woman is a sexpot a man is a perv

However addiction specifically has negative connotations. If you mean "I'm a sex addict" in a sort of hyperbole laden jokey way then that's fine. If you mean you have an addiction to sex that is a problem. Not because sex but because addiction. I think I was pretty clear on that and you're skirting that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being able to channel huge amounts of sexual energy into your partner. There is a problem when sex is interfering with your life. Addiction doesn't mean "I like it a lot" it means "my relationship with this substance or activity interferes with my life and makes me miserable" it means "I do it compulsively even if it'd make me miserable" it means "I do things that make my life worse, or avoid doing things that would make me happy because of this thing". Personally I think chastising people for having a high sex drive is pig disgusting. There is no problem with wanting all the fuck. People who engage in risky or hurtful behaviour, cheat on their relationships or do stuff that is a net loss because it satisfies an itch momentarily however are people in trouble. They are people who hurt others and themselves and those are the bad things. Your sex drive is great, your attitude towards it is strikes me as unhealthy.

Or you're just shooting your mouth off and should probably just not post while tweaking because it's a train wreck.
Edward Classleham - Thu, 25 Apr 2019 22:40:23 EST hiKxQg3e No.528967 Reply
1556246423879.jpg -(291689B / 284.85KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Honestly the more I think about it the more I realize it's more motivated by some sort of bizarre desire to defile what is sacred to people because I find them hypocritical.
I don't know if that makes sense, but channeling anger into sexual passion, even if it isn't related that way, makes me worried as well

how do i move to asia?

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- Thu, 25 Apr 2019 17:05:18 EST UZC9gHak No.528954
File: 1556226318942.jpg -(38741B / 37.83KB, 595x314) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. how do i move to asia?
how do i move to asia? the reason is because western women are degenerate as fuck and this place is a hell hole. ive seen a shit load of asian women from over there and they all take good care of themselves and look 20 years old at 40 and 50 and stuff just with skin care and avoiding the sun. i cant even open instagram without seeing some chick with her tits hanging out or her tongue out and some brain dead expression on her face.

i heard that usually to move to a country you need a work visa. so i cant just get off a plane and live there? i NEED to be working and the job has to require me to be there just to live there? im not even sure what country i want to live in something non degenerate and warm
Eliza Gibblegold - Thu, 25 Apr 2019 18:56:30 EST LZcwMVpc No.528958 Reply
It doesn't matter what anyone tells you about moving to Asia, its all is going to take effort and we all know that anything that requires you to put in effort is too much for you ruralfag

nb because you obviously a shit-tier troll at this point.
Emma Dranninglock - Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:09:41 EST h0psPJz3 No.528975 Reply
I mean sure give it a shot but you'll be starting from the position of foreign barbarian.

Are you good looking or make money? Tall? Big dick? If you're going to play the superficial game you best be superficially pleasing in some aspect.

If not work your personality and attitude. Might need adjustment.

Personal conflict

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- Wed, 24 Apr 2019 11:53:23 EST hiKxQg3e No.528935
File: 1556121203516.jpg -(50155B / 48.98KB, 786x590) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Personal conflict

How do you decide between someone you love and would die for and an animal need you feel is unreasonable not to satisfy? There is a huge problem I have with possessiveness. For various reasons, I don't want to give up my partner! I am emotionally attached. I don't think I'd be unable to forgive her for sleeping with another man but she says she does not want to. I want to sleep with other women and they want to, but so far, I decline politely. Her younger sister, even, once offered to have sex with me but I have never mentioned it to her.

She also claims to be bisexual, and cheated on me with a girl once (i really don't care) and we also had sex with a girl together a few times, but have been basically monogamous for years.

Do you think that women intentionally try to tease men they know are married out of some kind of sadism?
Phoebe Febberwell - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 12:02:45 EST hiKxQg3e No.528936 Reply
1556121765516.jpg -(389437B / 380.31KB, 1440x1913) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
sorry for multiposting I meant to post in same thread
so the other thing is, I noticed this is really the biggest problem when she's on the rag
She says I'm too big for her to do anal dont know what to make with it

I personally prefer vaginal anyway and if the flow be not too bad I fuck her anyway but sometimes it's just.. just... you know all damned well what I mean

She gives the same reason for why she can't deepthroat in oral but I secretly believe its because she thinks my dick is smelly

Whores and fake orgasms

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- Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:23:58 EST hiKxQg3e No.528928
File: 1556112238516.jpg -(210671B / 205.73KB, 1080x1350) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Whores and fake orgasms
If a whore doesn't tell you she's having an orgasm, but it seems like she is, is she faking it? Like I'm talking about vaginal contractions resembling kiegels that seem involuntary, not necessarily "when harry met sally" screaming

If she tells you she had one without being elicited, is it credible?

Talking about a literal whore you paid to have sex with not like, your ex you hate because she slept around

not trying to humblebrag i mean I paid her for sex as well (it was in a legal zone) but also suspicious she came
Phoebe Febberwell - Wed, 24 Apr 2019 10:35:08 EST hiKxQg3e No.528933 Reply
no that makes sense
There was a time when I asked a whore who I thought was faking it and she said she did but wasn't convinced

Also there was a time with this really tiny brunette compared to me and I'm pretty sure she did, but I didn't say anything to either

The last one wasn't even a whore but just some black slut I fucked with her fat sister


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- Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:53:37 EST uqdIaLAk No.528919
File: 1556034817188.jpg -(29615B / 28.92KB, 720x363) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Loneliness
How do I deal with evergrowing loneliness? I've been getting substantially lonelier over the last
years, I left my home country to live with my girlfriend, which is fine, we get along great, she is
very dear to me and one of my bestest friends, we have been through a lot.
I never made any real friends since I moved here, a few acquintances here and there but never
someone who gave me that feeling of a connection. I have 3 people tops I consider to be true friends
but they live +1000Km away.
In the beginning it didn't really bother me, I never was an expressive person, I always needed a lot
of time before I feel comfortable around someone and most of the time I get by great by
myself. Whenever I felt the need to socialize i'd go to a bar, get drunk and have fun, which isn't
an option anymore since I stopped drinking and I do not plan to start again, no way José, it almost
killed me and I realise what enormous impact it has had on my mental health and capacities the last
decade, finally I'm getting my shit together, I'm learning what I'm good at and that most of my
previous aspirations where mostly composed of wishfull thinking and a lack of self knowledge.
My girlfriend has a job that absorbs quite some time since a few months and I'm mostly studying

But i'm starting to feel the weight and side effects from being alone, social situations get
increasingly difficult, I avoid people as much as i can since I constantly feel like everyone is
judging me even though I know I shouldn't care and I know it's probably not even true. But knowing
and feeling are two different things. I'm closing myself off at a very fast
pace. From my family, few friends i have and even my girlfriend. It's like I'm telling myself that
I'm better off alone, I don't need anyone in my life but myself. We all know that's bullshit because
I'm only a human and i have strong social needs like everyone else. But if things continue this way I'm
sure to become a "hermit".

The cynical feeling is so strong too, I feel so lost in the current day world, whenever I go to the
supermarket/shopping mall/city I feel completely dead inside, I live in a rural area because I reallly
don't like living in cities and I love tending a garden way too much, and my dog needs her space
like me. I'm on this downwards spiral and I have no clue how to get off, talking about it is
practically impossible, expressing my feelings feels like making the sun rise in the west. I'm
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Reuben Cammlefoot - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 14:40:09 EST UZ9BzlLq No.528921 Reply
You're going to need new hobbies. I actually did the go to the bar and not drink thing and it actually works if it's a cool place with decent people. Turn up early though so you're not shocked how jarringly drunk everyone is.

Or yeah new hobbies? Depends what you like though.
!scyTheNg3k - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:16:54 EST /U8zYy3Q No.528923 Reply
Keep old friendships going. Don't try to make relationships progress. If you judge people, be willing to forgive them. Just stay in touch with the people you meet. After a few years, you might become good friends, or you might not. It takes time.

What is required to actually be a freelancer programmer?

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- Mon, 22 Apr 2019 22:18:06 EST 0WkEIzU6 No.528913
File: 1555985886554.jpg -(33079B / 32.30KB, 220x311) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What is required to actually be a freelancer programmer?
I don't know if I would ever be able to be a freelancer since my only coding knowledge seems stagnant at basic structured programs and basic shit. I don't know why I could code up an arthritic program within a couple of minutes but something like making a virtual bug more position is hard for me. But I figured some skills are better than no skills and I do have some skills in things like coding, photography, and writing. Maybe I should look into what is required to do freelance work for one or all of those trades. Advice?

Forgive me if this isn't the board to ask, but considering 420chan doesn't have an /adv/ice board this seemed like the closest place to it.

Fuck sake

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- Sun, 14 Apr 2019 09:34:40 EST Y3OKSqQl No.528765
File: 1555248880410.jpg -(681123B / 665.16KB, 1080x2340) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fuck sake
Help I've been trying to meal prep and follow a realistic self care routine for fucking years. I work as a mental health support worker (lol) and NEED to learn to do a self care before I commit suicide and leave my sweet angel of a girlfriend here on this shitty fucking plane of existence. Pic related. I take antidepressants, have done therapy. I love weed & tolerate life
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Hiffwe !BKmffWgROY - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 23:57:47 EST 7Lii9+gw No.528890 Reply
1555732667371.gif -(2628699B / 2.51MB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

You put this shit on and cry.

Just fucking cry.

Listen to me bitch im your therapist now. Tough love çuck.

You fucking listen to how stupid you sounded before you cried.

Now listen to yourself tell yourself I'm not going to let my dumb ass take advantage of me while im down and kicked.
!scyTheNg3k - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 02:24:41 EST /U8zYy3Q No.528891 Reply
ok so
first there was you're trying to do "meal prep" and "self care"
then you started talking about suicide
and i think "that escalated quickly!"

first of all, you need to stop getting mad at yourself for not doing things whose sole purpose is to make you feel better
that's just the wrong way to approach it. you can't attach all these negative feelings to what is supposed to be a pleasurable activity.

like if you forget to eat lunch, it's ok, don't get mad at yourself for not eating lunch. try to pick up some kind of high-fiber snack and have some water. (keep these around, they're useful.)

like seriously
>A fucking bulletjournal. Because otherwise I can't organise my life.

yes, it's a bullet journal.
this isn't worth worrying about.

>The gym (I go less than I should), Pokémon go, 420 (hey it's happy sometimes! Not just numbing). YouTube. circlejerk. Cleaning my flat (I enjoy cleaning lol). That's about it.

ngl only one of those is a hobby and it's pokemon.
well, cleaning might count.
don't make fun of yourself for liking to clean, you're not the only one.

honestly it just sounds like you're asking too much from yourself
fall down seven times, get up eight
you need to be willing to suck at something if you're ever going to be good at something
"your first song will be terrible, but if you don't write your first song you'll never write your 500th"

>Of course I want attention. I'm in pain bruh. Existential. First world pain. That's why i made this thread. I want folks to give me their attention so they can then give me their 2 cents!
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Wesley Croggleville - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:00:48 EST o73XImOz No.528901 Reply
woebot is a free CBT app you might like

Your hobbies don't sound like things you can rely on to be uplifting, but I could be wrong. is there any activity that leaves you with more spoons than you started with?

I am sure you know about the "tyranny of the shoulds" might be worth revisiting that, you are very hard on yourself, and you can be if you want to be, ok? being hard on yourself isn't a flaw that you have to beat yourself up over, nor is a lack of self care. maybe you are too stressed in general and haven't got the spoons for self care

Where to meet dateable women?

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- Wed, 12 Dec 2018 08:42:18 EST ZBd6lcme No.528097
File: 1544622138640.jpg -(46288B / 45.20KB, 852x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Where to meet dateable women?
Where does one find dateable women? I spend all my time at work, at home on the computer, or out biking. I have to go elsewhere to find them, obviously, but where? (Btw, don't tell me to try to find a woman at work. All the women at work are old, fat, married, and/or incompatible culturally/religiously (wears a hijab, barely speaks english, etc).)

I admit that I've never had a serious relationship. I've been told to find someone who shares my interests, but is that actually important? Thinking about it, I'd rather have a relationship with a quiet, calm woman who likes, say, keeping centipedes as pets, than a loud, crazy woman who likes programming and biking. Furthermore, just because they share your interests doesn't mean they share your values. What's a man to do?
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baby - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 15:11:14 EST 16u7vXn8 No.528900 Reply
try to imagine where the girl you like would be. if you want a fitness chick, go to the gym, if you want a sexy nerd then go to a bookstore, or like comicon, but if you want a gamer girl, dont go online lol
Wesley Croggleville - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:02:37 EST o73XImOz No.528902 Reply
he wants someone calm and quiet, maybe a meditation teacher or someone in a buddhist retreat
Graham Sinkinpet - Mon, 22 Apr 2019 08:16:49 EST o73XImOz No.528909 Reply
then again maybe they are there as a way of dealing with their BPD, not that borderline people can't be absolutely wonderful, just that they wouldn't be calm and quiet, as a rule

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