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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

A better way to deal with beefs

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- Sat, 08 Jun 2019 21:11:06 EST hiKxQg3e No.529780
File: 1560042666105.jpg -(34216B / 33.41KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. A better way to deal with beefs
So, basically, if you are banned from most kinds of social media and yet still have beefs that follow you in real life, how can you communicate to people beefing with you that you are aware of their bullshit and effectively send the message that means they need to stop or else without disrupting a bunch of fat nerds who like calarts animation and avatar fagging and get their panties in a bunch about it? Like sending a letter with no return address? Is that too old school? Just drop it in the blue box and dont get caught on camera?
10 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:40:20 EST hiKxQg3e No.529802 Reply
Excuse me gentlemen, a disturbed and mentally ill gentleman relayed to be a rather confused story last night but it was apparent from his state that he was in trouble with the law and attempting to avoid detection by the police. In an effort to keep people from the north east comfortable we will speak with the white Canadian newscaster voice.
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:41:25 EST hiKxQg3e No.529803 Reply
San francisco beef is the real san francisco treat and you're lookin at'em
Jarvis Murdstone - Mon, 10 Jun 2019 08:59:16 EST hiKxQg3e No.529816 Reply
  • Beef is not African-American vernacular. The roots of this term actually originate in white gangs in New York in the 1930s and it was since integrated into the common black dialect.

I'm Commiitting Suicide Tonight

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- Sat, 08 Jun 2019 17:32:44 EST AssLy90c No.529777
File: 1560029564932.jpg -(3782B / 3.69KB, 180x180) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm Commiitting Suicide Tonight
Hey, been a long time since I've posted on here. I'm very depressed and plan on committing suicide later tonight using difluroethane. It's the most common propellant/hydroflurocarbon used in compressed air aerosol cans.

Basically I'm giving myself sudden sniffer's death syndrome. Now, I'm very concerned. Somebody with decent knowledge, please tell me.

How painful is it? I believe my heart may actually explode. I'm very nervous. Please give me a little more information.

I enjoy the high difluoroethane causes, but will the intoxication still be pleasant at that concentration? Will It numb the pain?

I've read the asphyxiation is very painful. Somebody please help me.
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Emma Pittworth - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:16:46 EST 4l8RYu1T No.529799 Reply
He should absolutely not kill himself, but fuck off with your pathetic pseudo intellectual atheism shit
Hedda Bedgelock - Mon, 10 Jun 2019 07:59:43 EST yUhAjzvV No.529815 Reply
don't kill yourself if you're afraid of some super temporary immediate pain, jesus christ. either do it and get it over with or don't. you're not going to be around long enough to give a fuck about the pain so who cares if it hurts for a minute and a half or not.

if you can't stomach that kind of shit, then quit being an annoying little faggot and quit kidding yourself into believing you're capable of going through with suicide because all you're doing is hurting yourself more and hurting people around you and generally just being disgustingly pathetic.

*ting ting*

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- Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:34:49 EST tehNWUNR No.529800
File: 8.jpg -(80085B / 78.21KB, 666x69) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. *ting ting*
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:38:41 EST hiKxQg3e No.529801 Reply
aww yea bitch we kickin down the door and smokin crack

Am I a dumbass, or just a creep? (or both?)

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- Fri, 07 Jun 2019 19:15:54 EST rRCczUYu No.529763
File: 1559949354169.jpg -(104504B / 102.05KB, 600x601) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Am I a dumbass, or just a creep? (or both?)
This food joint opened up down the block from me not too long ago and their halal food is really fucking good, so I eventually became a regular there while getting the same type of order every time which was made by some older guy who I assumed was the owner, if not the manager.

About two months ago he hired some younger woman who look like she's about my age, and for a while when I'd enter the diner I'd notice getting a glance or two from her while I was looking at my phone, which could mean anything right?

After a while she was in the kitchen and started to make order I'd always get, and when she first started doing it she used the same recipe as the older guy and would just normally ask me how much sauce I wanted until just a few weeks ago, and I'd always get a lot of hot sauce on my food. Whatever, right?

A few weeks ago I noticed that whenever I'd walk into the deli, she'd make a b-line straight to the kitchen even while the older guy who used to make my food would be behind the counter. I eventually noticed that she started putting extra ingredients in the food I ordered like diced green peppers, and extra spices that made it legitimately taste better, but it was only when she made the food. When it was the old guy, it was the same stuff I'd always get.

When eventually puts the white and hot sauce on my food, she'd put around the perfect amount of white sauce I'd usually ask for every time while giving a light drizzle of the hot sauce before looking back up at me from the food, waiting for me to ask for her to keep going. This would continue every time I'd go there when she made the food, and I started noticing that she started to give me a slight smile whenever I asked her to put more of the hot sauce, which she'd drizzle before I asked her to keep squirting more on there every time I'd get the same damn order.

At first I thought she was smiling because she thinks I'm trying to be hot shit by getting extra hot sauce as if I think that I have an iron stomach or whatever, but two days ago while she asked I ended up cracking a smile which for some reason made her giggle. I assumed she giggled because we were so used to the routine, but I don't really know because I'm shitty with body language.

Today I went in and the guy ended up making the food, but she lingered around where I was sitting for a while, and really seemed to be taking her time as if she was waiting for me to say something to her. After working retail I knew it was common for the my women co-workers to not take kindly being oogled at or spoken to personally by some creepy ass nigga while they're trying to do their job, and this deli worker/shopkeep could just be a really charming woman who just happens to be a damn good cook.

I want to talk to her but she could just be doing her damn job, and I'm pretty sure that I'm overthinking things but I've had a history of being an oblivious motherfucker before. What do I do about this uneasy feeling, /QQ/?
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Phineas Blackwell - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 04:22:44 EST +s+a5IEh No.529772 Reply
It's accepted in society, he's right.

Doesn't mean they actually do it though. Yeah, if you sit around waiting for a woman to make a move you're going to wait a long time. If you work super hard on yourself, make a load of friends who are ladies and some are single and straight one might make a move every now and then. It happens. Just don't count on it.
John Cobbleridge - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 19:13:59 EST rRCczUYu No.529779 Reply
I tried this by going in today, and I could've triedon her way out since her shift was apparently ending, but this motherfucking self-proclaimed shotokan grandmaster stopped me to go on about some dumb bullshit just to ask me for ten dollars while his lower lip quivered pathetically. As I'm talking to this gi wearing dopehead with medical bands around his wrist, she passed us by on her way home.

It was like a scene out of a bad sitcom, dude. I'll try again next week, but I'm going to make sure that I don't show up every day like a creepy asshole.

I'm 100% going to make sure that our first actual conversation is about how much her additions added to the food. Hopefully the manager has no hard feelings if he hears us. Or starts spitting in my food because of it.

I thought about this, but I have a lit match under my ass when it comes to this sort of shit because like I said before, I was notoriously oblivious and ended up letting a lot of opportunities pass me by. I am going to wait to try talking to her again though at least till next week, or until she gives me more of a hint than eye contact and a giggle.

I appreciate all of your helpful input, anons!
Shitting Hicklemudge - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 10:20:00 EST Y+neydc5 No.529796 Reply
Yeah, in my entire life I've had 2 women flirt with me first. One was a cougar and I was like 15 or 16. The other was just trying to piss someone off who was in present company and didn't actually give a shit about me.

Granted, I'm pretty unattractive and poor. I've seen dudes who women just are attracted to just exist and they practically throw themselves at them.


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- Thu, 06 Jun 2019 06:52:09 EST zcOU3n81 No.529748
File: 1559818329843.jpg -(59344B / 57.95KB, 720x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Stuck
Little bit of a rant here, but I mean, I'll take anything I can get too.

I'm an asian dude living in an asian country, so pretty much living with family is the norm over here. I stay with my mum (59) who's been divorced for awhile now, so it's just me, her and my 2 sisters.

My mum's pretty damn toxic, imo, but nothing intolerable and she doesn't really fuck with our lives, so it wasn't much of an issue.

However, shit hit the fan a few weeks before christmas last year and she got a stroke that hit pretty hard, because she didn't manage her hypertension and it went for awhile before anybody noticed her having a stroke as it was late at night.
She made decent progress in the coming months, from only being able to utter a few syllables and bedridden to now where she can form proper sentences in our mother tongue (mandarin) or short simple english sentences and walk for short distances with a walking aid.

Problem tho is that while I understand this is part of her stroke, her toxic bullshit has been exacerbated by the damage done to her brain. Currently, I'm home all the time to watch over her, alongside a caretaker that we have hired to watch her, but she's just been a complete bitch to the caretaker. She has been consistently been demeaning to her and refused to cooperate with her, as well as picking on all the little things that the caretaker does while expecting her needs to be met without communicating them.

This also happens to be the 2nd caretaker we've hired as the first one wasn't the best and we gave our mum the benefit of doubt whenever she'd talk shit about the first one, but now that we've hired this 2nd caretaker, she's been absolutely lovely yet my mum puts her through constant shit.

Right now I could give less of a fuck of what happens to my mum and if she died in her sleep, I'd honestly be bloody relieved, but as of today, she gave the caretaker a ridiculous verbal ass-whooping into a weeping mess over a goddamned wrinkle on pressed shorts that she didn't talk about nor wanted fixed, alongside completely twisting said caretaker's words (she's not great at english).

So she made a scene and I talked her through her shit, as much as you can with a stroke patient with aphasia, and she seemed to calm down, but she just got back at it again in the evening.

So now, the caretaker's talking about leaving, but I managed to convince her temporarily to stay for the moment as we try to improve things, even though I'm certain it's going to be completely fucked still.

Mum has consistently refused to speak to any counselors or therapists for her mood and refuses to accept her predicament, thinking she'll be magically healed from all her bullshit if she takes her fucking herbal and homeopathic medicine.

I'm at my fucking wit's end, my sisters at this point are still refusing to consider having her put in a nursing home and I highly doubt any of my relatives would be able to deal with her shit over a long term, so I'm stuck as shit, because I quit my work to take care of her before she turned out to be so crazy.

So fuck, I'll take any advice to get through this situation, but otherwise, I'm stuck waiting, for a job acceptance, for me to not weigh her constant bullshit against burning bridges with my family and moving out, for my sisters to crack so they'll send her to a home, or for her to die before she drives everyone around her crazy.

Also, I understand a lot of this is due to her condition, but that knowledge doesn't make going through all this any better or easier.

Thanks for reading this far anyway, if you have.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Doris Pablingtire - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:29:13 EST OdjfxVxG No.529765 Reply
If your sisters dont want her in a home, get another job and let them take care of her

Sorry, i didnt read carefully btw
Doris Pablingtire - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:33:03 EST OdjfxVxG No.529766 Reply
Also, if you have a caretaker, why did you have to quit work to take care of her?
Ernest Puppersare - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 05:53:15 EST zcOU3n81 No.529773 Reply

It's alright, I'm working on the job part, but as for my sisters it's quite unlikely since one of them was due to move abroad to stay with husband in Austria and the other has a better career and/or career opportunities than I do. So we're all pretty lost if my mum keeps screwing with the caretaker.

As for the caretaker, well, there was a period of time after she was discharged where I had to train the first caretaker a little, before we decided she wasn't capable of learning how things were done in the house aside from personality issues. So I was pretty much playing the caretaker's role all the while only up until last month, whereby the replacement we got was much more suitable and could function without supervision.

So yeah, thanks for the reply but looking back, it's really more of a rant since I'm just waiting for something to work out for myself, so I can put some distance between me and this whole mess.

How do I work up the courage to finally off myself

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- Thu, 06 Jun 2019 02:06:57 EST IIPdlASs No.529744
File: 1559801217177.jpg -(90252B / 88.14KB, 720x944) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I work up the courage to finally off myself
Like I swear, all the times I’ve tried I backed out at the last minute like a little bitch like I don’t get it do I have to be drunk or maybe if I take two Benadryls and do it I won’t feel a thing or what
Hannah Fashshaw - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 03:37:56 EST JCATCBbz No.529746 Reply
>Two pinklets
That's nowhere near enough to end you but sure is enough to make you wish you were dead even moreso. Anyway killing yourself is frightening. At least overtly doing it is. A lot of the folks here enjoy the passive-aggressive suicide route of alcohol and drugs also anime . Don't feel bad about falling. Personally I think regardless of how fucked up you get you're still going to know you're dying right when it happens. Honestly though don't fuck around. You can change things if you want to. A lot of the time there are escape paths you can't see without another set of eyes. At the very least you have this lovely community to rap with. I hope you start wanting to feel better.
Shit Wibberville - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 11:55:42 EST yUhAjzvV No.529749 Reply
why dont you work up the courage to actually legitimately try and succeed in life and get better? too hard when compared to the option of just offing yourself or what? maybe you're just destined to fail at everything; can't work up the courage to improve and succeed, and can't work up the courage to off yourself either. fuck, you're a mess man.

Girlfriend made out with her best friend

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- Sun, 28 Apr 2019 19:45:10 EST Qoe2oia4 No.529052
File: 1556495110700.png -(413696B / 404.00KB, 600x665) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Girlfriend made out with her best friend
My girl (monogamous relationship) last night had a make out session with her female best friend, she apparently didn't think that making out with someone was crossing a line... At this point I'm wondering what she hasn't told me. I had a frank conversation with her telling her that I'm really unhappy with the whole situation and am about to break up with her- she was in tears apologizing but part of me thinks that she still feels the make out session wasn't really wrong and that she was justified in doing it as part of connecting with people. That's what I gathered from her apology.

She's also about to go on a 2 month trip with another group of people, leaving in a week. At this point I don't trust her and have pretty much decided I am going to break it off with her for good before she leaves, especially considering the trip and timing of this. The best friend has a boyfriend that apparently is cool with this stuff- I understand but it's not for me. At this point it seems that she has decided unilaterally that she can do whatever she wants short of penetrative sex in the name of making connections and experiences with others, despite agreeing to be monogamous many months ago. This seems like a load of crap to me, pretending not to understand what it means to be exclusive with a partner.

Is there anybody that thinks I should not break it off with her? We have been dating a little over a year now so because of the time I invested I'm taking a day to think about it and ask some random internet strangers...

Also before you suggest it the best friend is not attractive at all so threesome is off the table!
18 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Caroline Smallham - Wed, 05 Jun 2019 01:54:53 EST Tuxc9GLs No.529739 Reply

Thanks for the input everyone. I should have stuck to my guns and just broken up permanently. The night before her trip she went skinny dipping with a 2 guys and a girl that I have met once and she barely knows, now she is gone and I don't trust her at all. Being a fucking idiot I still gave her a ride to the airport and my car broke down so I've been essentially homeless for the past week because of this bullshit driving to another city so she could save a couple hundred bucks for her plane ticket.

She is in a Western european country and apparently can't figure out how to use a phone over there so we only communicate through a facebook message once a day. Essentially, I'm a fucking moron that looked through so many red flags and advice on this thread that told me to do it yet I still gave her more chances that showed she's just a people user that didn't give a fuck about anything.

For the people that commended me for having standards, I didn't, and I should have. Because now I'm an idiot with a "girlfriend" in Europe that I have spent all my savings on repairing my car after driving her to an airport in another city and she won't even talk to me on the phone while I'm couchsurfing and spending what little I have left on a hotel rooms when I can't find a place to stay.

Behavioral Sink

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- Tue, 04 Jun 2019 16:40:06 EST TKorYOiK No.529736
File: 1559680806070.jpg -(50305B / 49.13KB, 400x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Behavioral Sink
Yeah so I left town and it was exactly what I needed. I hate life a lot less and I feel less uptight. I was hating on my country on the future and I realized that I don't hate my country I just hate the city I live in. I left before but it's been awhile since I've taken a trip.

I'm experiencing the real behavioral sink problem down here in LaLaland:
>The ethologist John B. Calhoun coined the term "behavioral sink" to describe the collapse in behavior which resulted from overcrowding.

anxiety and tism

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- Mon, 03 Jun 2019 23:27:24 EST G1XpjQqa No.529716
File: 1559618844107.jpg -(108357B / 105.82KB, 519x620) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. anxiety and tism
Everyday is a struggle

a struggle of being concerned over whether or not people in my immediate vicinity think I'm weird. a deep self loathing that I am too beta to approach women. a sense of dread of how the fuck I am ever going to get a job, even if I do get a degree. constant angst over all the bad posts I've made on social media and how they're going to come back to haunt me (for example, when I was 12 I had an edgy stormfront phase and uploaded cringe shit to youtube but forgot the password and email to said you tube account).

Although I have anxiety and 'tism issues, I don't like blaming shit on those "disabilities" because honestly I could be doing better... Or not I dunno.

>inb4 have you tried SSRIs

yeah and they're fucking useless. I wish I had some goddamn benzos but my psych won't give me any. He has no problem giving me adderall but asking for even a weak benzo like valium is apparently asking for too fucking much
Eliza Suvingbad - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 08:22:39 EST hiKxQg3e No.529718 Reply
smoke weed drop lucy and go to a rave
Barnaby Grandhood - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 12:10:40 EST 2dpbGRKS No.529722 Reply
grow up
no one cares about you that much
Shit Drickleditch - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 14:32:17 EST Nocxtt2B No.529735 Reply
don't know what to say OP but i feel ya and i hope you feel better soon

there is always therapy / counselling but a lot of therapist haven't got a clue about enthusiasm and they pathologise harmless enthusiastic traits. like you go in for anxiety and they are like "hey look me in the eye" ...like that's helpful?
so you got to find someone that actually understands that there is nothing wrong with the vast majority of enthusiastic traits, even if there was something wrong, there'd be no way to change it, but for crying out loud there is nothing wrong with using different vocal pitch or looking at someone's hands when you talk to them... they act like i could cure cancer but it would mean nothing because hey, i won't look them in the eye... sorry i made this all about me

I wanna hurt myself

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- Tue, 04 Jun 2019 12:20:34 EST +O5E8/Os No.529724
File: 1559665234823.jpg -(81423B / 79.51KB, 720x537) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I wanna hurt myself
Seriously very soon

Im going to fucking stab myself just to focus the pain and create some sense in my world because we clearly have none whatsoever.

I have felt urges to not just cut myself but completely slice my limbs open, if not fucking stab myself and burn myself etc.

I have felt so tense lately, so intense and angry, and everyone around me can see it.

I just started two new jobs, one is a shitshow due to the management’s complete ignorance of their own computer system/training programs not loading correctly and BOTH jobs paycards are not working. I just want to open a single bank account at a local credit union to avoid monthly fees and have both jobs direct deposit my pays into that one card so I can be done with this kind of idiocy.

I already was teetering on the edge as is, but now I just wanna fucking hurt myself and spare the world around me any more discomfort I cause

even the mentally ill drunks at the shelter consider me as the fuckin crazy guy.

What the fuck, man? what the fuck.
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nigel Pellyham - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 13:01:07 EST +O5E8/Os No.529730 Reply
1559667667823.jpg -(35431B / 34.60KB, 300x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
people keep directing me that way but man

why in fuck-all reality would I wanna serve a country and people whom I fucking despise and hate / have made me feel outcast and judged beforehand?

like I honestly expect enough respect in my return from service to suddenly not hate everyone and just suddenly dispose of all my misanthropic feelings? Seriously? no.

Idc if its a license to kill or whatever, I seriously dont wanna defend a country or people who I actually hate and want eradicated fam. Not for me I think.

what else do I do, numb this with drugs? pretend love and a relationship is the cure?
Shit Drallerman - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 13:07:32 EST uZExeyVJ No.529731 Reply
Hows the national guard any different from working for a corporation/business? they both make you serve and fuck you over for personal gain but at least being a nasty girl you get free college and VA and basically get to just lounge around and shit, if you want combat experience well.... they can't really help you there cause they barely deploy them anymore, as for drugs you could probably get away with it depending on how funded/incompetent the guard are in your particular state.

Found out I have herpes, don’t wanna live anymore

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- Sun, 02 Jun 2019 01:18:20 EST yvFk+9o8 No.529683
File: 1559452700750.jpg -(81066B / 79.17KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Found out I have herpes, don’t wanna live anymore
I’m 18 and noticed I have herpes on my face a week ago. I might have had it since I was a kid. If you don’t know, cold sores are herpes. If you ever had one you’re always potentially contagious. Meds help, but you’ll never have a 0% chance of being contagious, albeit it is low without outbreaks. If you go down on a girl you can potentially give her herpes down there. Like 60% of people in the US have cold sore herpes. Most never have symptoms and don’t know they have it. Standard std tests don’t include herpes. Herpes is practically harmless medically, but has so much stigma that it’s basically a disability.

I feel fucked. I will disclose it to all future partners and I feel like I’m just fucked for life. I’ll never be able to engage in casual sex at all and don’t see meaning in improving myself, expressing individuality, etc. I feel like a toy laying in a drawer waiting for someone to find it and pick it up. A toy that can dress up in whatever, be fit, attractive, anything, but it won’t matter. I can’t get drunk and fuck a random girl at a party now. But I am ok with that if I can find someone who’ll love me. It’s a fucked feeling. I feel broken.

It won’t matter even if I become practically superhuman like a Norwegian dude that swims in frozen lakes. It would only be my outer shell anyway, it won’t matter to girls if they can’t fuck me. So I’m stuck waiting for someone to find me like people find DXM. Like somebody to find me and think damn im amazing and worth the risk of lifelong herpes. I don’t fucking see it. And until then I’m just a shell, but when it does happen I’ll matter to that person I guess. It’s a bizarre thought, but that’s the only way I can cope now. I cried all day and thought about suicide a lot. I can’t imagine a good life for myself, most people with that condition online are much older, so I can’t relate.

I feel like my sexuality is gone, like I was castrated. I can’t imagine I’ll ever feel innocent during sex again. Like all I want is a soulmate now. Some girl who would hold me and tell me I am alright. Who’d let me fuck her without feeling like she’s touching a diseased bum. Who’d be all playful and shit and make me feel like I deserve love. Right now I feel cut off from everything that I like. Driving past places they look like they’re from my past life. Listening to music makes me think of people who don’t have herpes. Aaaa it all fucking hurts. I feel vulnerable.

How the fuck do I go on and find someone to love who won’t mind my herpes? Anyone else have herpes and stories on dealing with it?
5 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Lydia Buzzdale - Sun, 02 Jun 2019 13:20:14 EST Del7dYn8 No.529699 Reply

Ive got the dick herpes if that makes you feel better. I was real upset when I found out too, but then Im asymtopmaic so who cares.

In normal STD screenimgs they don't test for herpes cause no one gives a shit. Half the planet has it and it won't kill you, it's just sores.

Honestly if you feel bad, the christians win. Good luck.
Fanny Derryham - Sun, 02 Jun 2019 14:50:22 EST Oswvh+nG No.529700 Reply
1559501422980.jpg -(1935916B / 1.85MB, 2448x2448) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Treat yourself with Rick Simpson Oil and it may be of help towards getting rid of your ailments.


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- Mon, 03 Jun 2019 20:28:18 EST 0DOizHVp No.529712
File: 1559608098790.png -(2604424B / 2.48MB, 1416x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. CLEAN UP TIME








pl0x - Mon, 03 Jun 2019 20:33:32 EST 0DOizHVp No.529713 Reply
1559608412872.gif -(1870028B / 1.78MB, 400x334) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.




pl0x - Mon, 03 Jun 2019 20:39:07 EST 0DOizHVp No.529714 Reply
1559608747392.png -(537241B / 524.65KB, 3450x2281) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.






Pendleton Pendragon - Mon, 03 Jun 2019 20:46:48 EST 4ErcuLUT No.529715 Reply
1559609208692.jpg -(23003B / 22.46KB, 500x278) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Yeah you're right, cleaning up my area would probably do good for my mental state

Thanks for the kickin' chunes plox

Imma start on the kitchen

I need help, but I'm a fucking urban hermit

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- Fri, 31 May 2019 17:43:29 EST 4VrAyNJw No.529669
File: 1559339009974.jpg -(86488B / 84.46KB, 951x633) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I need help, but I'm a fucking urban hermit
I know I need help, I'm not stupid. I'm self-isolating, avoiding. Suffering from panic attacks since more than a decade, constant background anxiety as well, depression, chronic pain (muscle inflammation, deformed ribs, pinched nerve in neck), and now recently a more severe form of alcoholism.

Been drinking regularly on and off since 2014. Got drunk for the first time at 24. Immediately realized that this was the shit I'd either get addicted to, or die to. No other option. It removed the physical pain, the anxiety, everything. It numbed me to complete bliss.

A year later I smoked weed for the first time. It made me think different. This was huge, because I'd been stuck in a specific mode of thought for all my life. Suddenly, thought was different. I felt like I was a child again. Looking at a tree was meaningful in itself. Basically, the journey became the destination, in every sense of that metaphor.

Eventually however, that lead to confusion. The mind wanted to merge rationality with irrationality (or rather, intuition), but the conflict was too intense. Trusting the body to live by itself? No. I must protect it by thinking.

I think that I am a thinker, that thinks the body to move, eat, breathe, so that I can keep thinking, to find a truth, an ultimate answer somehow. But am I not a thinking breather? I think, in order to breathe; breathing itself is the purpose. I am not here to breathe and fuel the brain with oxygen in order to think myself toward enlightenment; I am here to think myself into just this in-breath of air, this exhalation, this single beating of the heart. There is no further purpose. This is it.

Death? A nonsense. No subjective Death at all. It's not real. Surely not!

I am here now, aware kind of, be noticed though that throughout this typing the alcohol has become more and more noticeable; If I am to ccurrently judge my situation I would assume that I am in the middle-begginning of a blackout. When I typed the 420chan URL into the field of browser, I was much ( A LOT!) more sober... effect comes quickly. Quite the adventure. Where am I now?

Want help, but also not. Can't trust anybody. People are fucking stupid. Source? I am fucking stupid, I am a people, so why shouhld I assume other people are not also fucking stupid? I want help, but do I want help from fucking studpi epopel? No. But I want help nontheless, although I believe there is no help to be had. I am alonei nthis. Gotta fight it.

Tomorrow sobriiety will enter this realm and I will be with it, and the anxiety it brings, longing for this _(I'm in it now, it's amazing, but .. you know, am also tired cause it makes me... tired? nonsense wtf) soWhat ese... ...

disregard above text; just know following OK: Death, our concepto of death, it's, we culturally made it into a problem. In reality, all pain and usffering, nightmares, stress, intense psychosis whatever, it's not a problem, cause death resolves it all. DEATH IS DIVINE - LIFE IS ALSO DIVINE - the pain, the faults, the suffering, all of it, THIS IS IT! I AM HERE, NOW, and to morrow I will fear, I will think WHAT IF THIS IS THE END, OH BOY I DON*T WANNA DIE..... but right now, this moment, if I die in 1 minute I'm fine, no worries, no problem, so need for solution!

So. The idea that death is a problem is a relative perspective. It's possible for death to be accepted, just as sleep is accepted when you are super tired. Right.

And the same goes for the total collaps aan annihlilation of sociey civlizatio asn s awhole.. (you know what this sentence supposed to say, mis-spelling is not itnentilnaion but no. too mcuh effort too correct)


thank you for reading be safe at peace etc, =)

all in all TL;DR: ignore this and listent o some fucking music friend. I advice he following; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pOKiL_gFGY
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George Dorringchone - Sun, 02 Jun 2019 11:06:21 EST 2dpbGRKS No.529694 Reply
lol i love how you slowly broke down into full drunken rant
you know what you need to do. stop the drugs, eat healthy, exercise, socialize
Doris Shakeway - Mon, 03 Jun 2019 17:01:12 EST JCATCBbz No.529709 Reply
This. The straight and narrow so to speak is always the best option for making lucid decisions, especially when they're big issues you need to face. Give the problem your full arsenal of examination with a sober conscience, at least for a bit. That way, you can have pride that you are in fact capable and really did give it your best efforts. Then you can come back to getting drunk and probably realistically enjoy it a lot more with less anxiety of procrastination. Great wiggles
Doris Shakeway - Mon, 03 Jun 2019 17:05:16 EST JCATCBbz No.529710 Reply
Incidentally I'm shamefully addicted to DXM. I'm making a hard effort to cut down. I've resolved to restrict myself to once a month at the most frequent. I write my thoughts down, sober and high to extract willpower. I've known this was a problem for years but I never tried hard enough to stop. I always end up saying it'll be fun and it doesn't really matter but I know those are both lies. You're in good company OP and I believe in you. Keep your head up.


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- Fri, 17 May 2019 19:50:52 EST PrMXN3cx No.529428
File: 1558137052171.png -(814496B / 795.41KB, 720x1280) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Halp
I have this thing where i feel like i have 2 personalities at the same time and while the other personality is talking im kinda asleep and just i don't literally hear it.

My mom knows about this but doesn't adress it. The times i've been alone on the street he fuarrrked up and kinda told everyone about it and a lot of people know how to make him say and do stuff without my permission. (Which is happening but they did this thing and now he just doesn't tell her.
I feel like my mom just thinks it's me but i told her to not talk about it but it really wasn't me that told her that so she kinda knows but at the same time she doesn't. The one who has abused this it's my cousin since i was a kid but not talking about it makes it worse and i have to tell her talking with double sense.
Something really bad has happened because of this abuse but i can't tell her because of that and it's frustating. Now there people with cars going around abusing this soykaf for me to not say what are they doing with this. Even i don't even know what the poor cocksuckers want from this.
What can i do? I haven't got treatment because of this.
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