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can't live without 'em

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- Sat, 11 Apr 2020 19:50:31 EST YTS6AkAH No.534274
File: 1586649031095.gif -(76229B / 74.44KB, 468x345) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. can't live without 'em
I need to vent /qq/.

My girlfriend is sweet, loyal, cute but sometimes bigoted and soul-destroyingly obtuse.

She has multiple mental health issues and, to her credit, is working on them but it is at a glacial pace.

I sometimes think "maybe I should just break-up with this girl" but then I ruminate as follows:
>Grass is always greener... chances are the next girl would just have a different set of problems
>I still love her enough that I don't want her to suffer, self-harm or an hero, if I break-up with her
>She owes me USD 800 (600GBP/700EUR) which I'd probably never get back
>Maybe that ^ is sunk-cost fallacy, not that I really care about the money
>Without a g/f I'll just be up all night shitposting to feel less lonely.

Fuck, typing it that way it sounds like co-dependency. If there is no clear path maybe it's best just to ride it out and let events unfold for themselves, idk /qq/, idk.
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Hannah Blackfield - Mon, 13 Apr 2020 15:15:45 EST ROFqbd9W No.534302 Reply
>E.g. she can be very disparaging about entire countries (even though she hasn't visited them) or groups of people (even though she doesn't know any of them). I was a geography major so it is really difficult for me to hear; naturally I try and gently nudge her to think about her ideas from an alternative angle but she finds it difficult to reach understanding through reasoning and instead almost always becomes adversarial.
Education takes time. You were a geography major, so I can assume you spent four years in school, but you expect to change her worldview within the span of a single conversation? Be realistic.
It's good to encourage people to think by questioning their ideas, but it's not helpful to demand they come around immediately, even if their ideas are extremely fucking stupid. You have to be patient and persistent.

>"You don't answer me we don't even talk much you must have other bitches"
As far as I can tell the best way to respond to these kind of paranoid accusations is to deny them clearly but kindly. Allude to the universal: "everyone worries about loyalty", "nobody can be available for chats all the time", et cetera.

>I try to do things to help her help herself with her problems but the progress is so slow that when things get frustrating I start thinking about the opportunity cost of staying in a relationship with her.
You're not responsible for her mental health; she is. You need to be evaluating whether she is good or bad for you, as she is today.
I'm not recommending that you stay in the relationship; I'm not recommending that you leave. But you shouldn't choose whether to stay in the relationship based on whether you think you can fix her.
Esther Baffingway - Tue, 14 Apr 2020 00:25:00 EST 6LCI1CKD No.534303 Reply
>My girlfriend is sweet, loyal, cute but sometimes bigoted and soul-destroyingly obtuse.
>She has multiple mental health issues

Sounds like my girl.
Edwin Monkinville - Tue, 14 Apr 2020 06:05:59 EST UIa8+LGi No.534306 Reply
Manage your expectations, though. People like that often don't want to change.

fuck you

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- Thu, 12 Dec 2019 06:30:28 EST TUQC22QU No.532755
File: 1576150228439.jpg -(163776B / 159.94KB, 658x379) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. fuck you
wemon should be mass murdering themselves in protest to misogyny.
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Cyril Chodgestone - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 02:28:57 EST TUQC22QU No.534258 Reply
He can not reproduce without you how embarrassing! Your Dr. Worm is a symptom of my universe. Because of me.
Matilda Brengerhall - Tue, 14 Apr 2020 03:41:29 EST mttQWkrO No.534305 Reply
we really peaked with a webm of a Brazillian zoophile screaming at a caterpillar in the dark while shinning a flashlight on it

I didn't like Dr. Worm as a mod that much, but as a character? The sites heel? There can be no other

Bully board?

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- Wed, 11 Mar 2020 07:22:17 EST WOlHi5IK No.533980
File: 1583925737453.jpg -(110328B / 107.74KB, 400x303) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Bully board?
Does this board still exist just so we can use the old supportive threads to lure new people in and bully them? That's just mean-spirited.
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Caroline Brucklewill - Sun, 12 Apr 2020 01:39:03 EST TUQC22QU No.534286 Reply
One day I noticed the Internet was a trap and I am bound to it. I thought the people here were lonely and desperate.
Molly Hurringworth - Sat, 18 Apr 2020 11:50:39 EST 80a+lf6a No.534357 Reply
the reason that most people who make threads on here are such unhappy failures is probably largely to do with a quality of irritating patheticness and melodrama regarding the slightest perceived problems and situations. This attitude is the thing that makes it so bad for themselves, something that others reciprocatively see and make it worse for them due to disliking the person, and the exact trigger of people seeing their posts online and some sort of switch triggering which just says "fuck this person"

im not generally vindictive. but i see so many posts on this board and think "fuck this person". This is my honest and thought-out opinion.

Perennial failure

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- Fri, 03 Apr 2020 09:19:41 EST UA+dazYP No.534179
File: 1585919981231.png -(8104B / 7.91KB, 562x384) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Perennial failure
Dear /qq/,

I’m a perennial failure. I have been on this board for a decade now and I still haven’t been able to change myself, my way of living or my outlook on the future in any significant way. I’m desperate to change this and I think I have finally come up with a guide that might help me crawl out of the miserable existence I currently lead.

I have made this thread with two reasons in my mind. Firstly, I want to share my background and current situation, as well as the knowledge and information that I consider helpful for people in my situation. Secondly, I hope people who are stuck in a similar situation as mine will share their story, their successes and the resources which have helped them.

Below my background story, I have posted a list of truths and principles I will try to implement in my life and see if I can bring about change to my life and actually improve myself. I’d be grateful to receive feedback or suggestions.

Thank you.
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Esther Wobbershaw - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 22:45:58 EST ehhnNOgT No.534277 Reply
>I don't have a job, and I don't have a social life. Not only does this make me feel ashamed and unworthy to be someone's friend, I can't imagine having to explain my life to anyone without alienating them, nor do I have the confidence to go out and socialise because I fear I will have nothing to talk about or to offer.
>I feel as I need to improve first before I can put myself "on the market." As it stands, I have little to offer to anyone. Yet, I also know this isn't a very constructive strategy, because if (more like, when) I fail at improving myself, I will feel even less worthy to go out and socialise or be someone's friend or get a job and I will just be pushed further down into the ditch I'm in.

Yes, this is the problem. I am quite familiar with it, but I think that for friendship to happen, all that really has to happen is people spend a lot of time together. They don't need to be impressed by you or entertained by you or even respect you, proximity seems to be the key. Many people have friends they dislike or even "hate", but shared experience in the same friend group is all it takes to make them a friend. I think though if others don't invite you to join them and you don't have the confidence to invite people to join you then you can get trapped in limbo and never develop the strong friendships that most people take for granted. I think the only thing to do is to break the cycle and start to invite people to do things with you. People generally don't like to host or organize social events because it's annoying and easier to just go to something someone asks you if you want to come along to.Asking people to do things with me was one of the things I always lacked. My parents gave me no help or guidance, they just took me to regularly scheduled group events which was the one way I had any sort of a social life, and when I sat home alone outside of that they never questioned it and neither did I even if I was lonely. My anxieties around doing it just stopped it from happening in the first place and it never became a thing I was comfortable with.

Modern life has made it so inorganic and awkward simply to spend time with other people on a regular basis. You have to schedule around their wage slave hours and getting everyone to synchronize plans is difficult, and then what if they don't have a good time when things finally do come together? For me it would be devastating and reinforce my feelings of worthlessness and make me fear that it would only drive them away from me even more and then my isolation would be confirmed to be something that is not a choice and not fixable and forever which would destroy me. But I'm pretty sure this is the core of my fucked up neurosis and not really rational or true. I know what I will get if I do nothing, I will get my worst fear, loneliness so it makes no sense to keep doing that. You can't win if you don't play. Ultimately it comes down to getting over my fears but I just suck at that. I know it is not the end of the world if I drive away people because they think I'm lame and boring, not everyone is going to like you after all, all you can do is find the ones who do, but this knowledge avails me little, I remain trapped by my fears. I have tried various self improvement strategies to try and gain confidence but it's amazing how quickly that confidence can be shattered. I've had jobs before and then when I try to take the next step and hang out with people, just the littlest negative things can send me back into downward spirals of fear.

I wish there were a way to simply spend this time with people as a part of life organically, but the best hope of that happening would be with co-workers and there the friendships are always shallow and impersonal because people need to be able to keep a professional working relationship and they will always value their careers and livelihoods over you. Perhaps other groups would be a good bet. Personally I'd really like to start getting involved in some sort of political organization because I think my country is deeply broken and needs reform and I want to find other people to discuss what comes next for society. I have kind of been in a state of defeat, just letting inertia carry me along listlessly, but eventually those periods have to end and you have to try something again. Perhaps this will be what I try…
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Eliza Gollywill - Sun, 12 Apr 2020 05:32:43 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534287 Reply
There's some stuff I disagree with and agree with here.

Basically though you're right that a lot of it is familiarity. If you're really awful they will avoid spending time with you. If you're great they'll make it easier and your friendship wil be better. If you don't share hobbies or having violently opposing values it's much harder to get that familiarity but you're right in that it's the key.

Friendship requires effort. You have to go out your way and so does the other person. This is why forcing it works better with people who like each other.

But you don't have a high bar to clear. Don't be awful, share interests, you're going to have to make effort. Everything is "inorganic" or whatever but fine. Book an activity or arrange stuff. You go a bit off the rails when you start worrying about things people won't feel.

You're doing that thing where a solution which could never exist and will never exist would solve your problems, then you're waiting for it. It wont' happen everyone else copes and some of them are a lot worse than you I promise.

People do hang around in places "organically" which is one of those words which is almost always bullshit outside properly defined contexts.

When they share hobbies which involve or require people it happens. Maybe it's 5 a side football, maybe it's friday night magic, maybe it's dive bars and playing pool, or making a band. Other groups are your best bet. I made a lot of my friends through a video gaming event that happened most fridays at a pub nearby after I moved into town. Most of the rest are people I see at gigs a lot. I made a couple by going to the least awful bar in town and just chatting to people who seemed alright until some people started seeming glad to see me.

"muh romantic life sux" thread #5.174x(10^12)

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- Sun, 29 Mar 2020 09:17:16 EST N4eypHeE No.534130
File: 1585487836511.gif -(99081B / 96.76KB, 235x250) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. "muh romantic life sux" thread #5.174x(10^12)
I'm fuckin lonely. Actually I have been for most of my life.
Fuckin 29. I had a GF when I was 20. For like, 3 months. I couldn't handle it, it felt good but then my fears and insecurities crept in and ruined it all. She'd have left me anyway, right?

Maybe I deserve this? fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I just want to hug and kiss a lady so bad... I want to go back and try to make things work instead of breaking up. Seems like every other guy has no problem getting with girls... and it's more than that, I haven't been able to make friends since I was a kid. Even then, I was a weirdo, I was "that kid".

And I have just this huuuuuge list of problems with myself. How the fuck do I casually bring up, "oh hey babe btw I take all THESE prescribed meds for depression etc; and this one is experimental and I'm not even sure of its legality at other states, much less outside of 'merrica. Oh and I never want to reproduce, seriously I'd rather lose a limb then have a child. And then there's this whoole paranoia thing, and I'm not a 'breadwinner' in any sense ffs I still live with my parents, and all of that is just my surface-level baggage so yeah hit me up I'm sure you find me attractive :)"; THAT is what girls want to hear from a potential partner!

Now, I'm either gonna die of Corona, or live for 1-50 more years by myself. Alone. If I were capable of snapping, I'd have done it by now. I'm too weak and passive to kms.

My dog helps. Don't be a prick cuddling with animals is the most affection I can get. But damn. Life is basically just getting punched in the face over and over. I probably can't rely on having a dog forever of course, certainly not the same one...

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Simon Peddlesore - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 04:17:58 EST d4fOgvZr No.534261 Reply
I just want to thank you, OP, for helping me see how fucking insane I must seem from the outside. You dismiss every achievement you have and live in a prison of self-limiting beliefs.

A thing that helps me when I don't have your posts to look at is to think about the stuff I am *actually* limited from. Then things tend to get real real, real fast.
Like with this post: >>534145
Where you dismiss every suggestion made to you. That's cool, but if this is the attitude you're going to have you might as well be honest about what you want: An extremely specific encounter with a specific kind of person who has a specific reaction to you. I'm not saying this is impossible, but it's sure as hell going to be rare.

The *one* time you tried, you scored within thirty minutes. It's in your head, dude.
Caroline Brucklewill - Sun, 12 Apr 2020 01:21:10 EST TUQC22QU No.534284 Reply
What are his societies expectations though? Are they from realistic subjective experiences of media based or based on others experiences or a few bad experiences he will not adapt to for a reason or negligence? Social trauma is real, if the people in your area have a bad opinion of you try going somewhere where no one knows you and try to change to fit the ideal you desire.
Caroline Brucklewill - Sun, 12 Apr 2020 01:29:36 EST TUQC22QU No.534285 Reply
Well atleast some prostitutes give you a social interaction! You picked the worst part of his post to reply to, I mean your former yellow texts. Do you even have someone in mind or are you still looking? Don't stop thinking.

problems with family

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- Sat, 11 Apr 2020 12:27:05 EST R53U7UMb No.534270
File: 1586622425193.jpg -(6348B / 6.20KB, 168x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. problems with family
so years ago i brought up a memory i had of when i was six and i tried killing myself saying i don’t want the angels or demons to get me and i just want to go home. she said that never happened and i thought it did but eventually i came to believe it was just my imagination

well i went to my therapist the other day and he looked up my history and it did happen
i was next to my mom and the previous time was so long ago that i didn’t bother bringing it up cause she would lie and say that never happened. plus she has this thing about talking about the past like i brought up something that happened 2 weeks ago and it was a "we don’t talk about that its in the past" which leads me to believe something happened to her or she did something and she’s just not going to talk about it

i know she used to party and do drugs but she did turn her life around and is very successful she’s a marathon runner long distance road biker.. helps at the y and more but she’s an empty person no love i cant even make jokes with her without her flipping out . I’ve tried getting into her world to make a better relationship but it failed

also when i was 14 i wrote a spawn fan fiction story it was shitty when i think back to it. real short too. anyways i guess my mom was going through my things she found the story in my backpack read it took it to her work and photocopied it then put the notebook back in my backpack then turned the photocopied version into my principal which got me called to her office and then admitted to a psych ward for an eval... in the story i am spawn and i rob a bank (where else would i get money)

later at 15 i was sent to rehab and a treatment facility till i was 18 where i got my own apartment but i fucked that up and moved in with my mom who was single at that time at 19 she was cool... let me smoke weed and even let me grow pot
but one day i was smoking in the garage and as i was coming upstairs my mom was in the hall cleaning the floor on her knees. as i started down the hall she turned around laid on the ground spread her legs and put her hands behind her head looking at me... this may be nothing. but i always thought she was hitting on me (lolz im sure but weird as fuck)

anyways she got a new bf and i started having psych problems so she committed me (k actually overheard the doc ask her if she wanted me committed and she said yes) so i was committed again 19 to 21 got out 8 days before my 21st and moved in with my grandparents. eventually i got out moved in with friends but fucked up with the law and got sent to prison for a year got out did some three quarters house stuff fucked up got sent back to the psych units... in and out and about 4 years ago i moved back in with my grandparents trying to get my education

one day i went to a psych appointment with my mom and she told them that i told her my grandparents were putting my toothbrush in the toilet and i was like no i never said that... i hadn’t. but one day i was at my grandparents and it was morning i just woke up and i heard someone walking down the hall go into my bathroom. then i heard swishing of water and a tink tink against porcelain. so yeah. and now i own 25 toothbrushes later i woke up to find my grandma watching me sleep when i know i closed the door then they filed a police report saying i was walking around disoriented and all this other stuff just to get me committed.. it was an easy win for me but i moved back in with my mom after...

i got into some legal trouble during that time but during the court hearings my moms there and id been in jail for a while so i was shackled and she gives me this smirk like "look at you.. all locked up.. that’s what mommy likes" anyways the judge asks if im paying rent.. i was she even wrote a contract as to what i was paying. she says no he’s not paying rent... such a little lie but still then she gives the judge this typed out story about how i am going to go to Walmart and go on a killing spree

im like wtf how did that get into your head.. obviously if that was the case she being who she is woulda alerted my therapist

but that was almost 3 years ago.. im free out of the halfway house and living with her again waiting for the three quarters house

more stuff went down but im already bitching enough.. but with all this i have an actual headache and some other issues

mainly i want a better relationship with my mom i want the lies to stop i cant trust her she cant trust me...and she’s way to controlling I’ve been mentally institutionalized quite a bit and have a lot of self harm scars some recent but i have a hard time socializing and she doesn’t get it she just never listens. I’ve suggested group counseling but that was met with hostility

with what they did it seems so little so petty but it caused damage im not as motivated i don’t have the same drive.. after my grandparents broke my trust with the toothbrush.. i don’t know why but i took that hard.. i mean here’s people i look up to my whole life who turn around and just say fuck you.. i mean the lies they told to get me locked up if they wanted me to move out all’s they had to do was get the balls .. i had been apartment hunting anyways

i told my psych doc about some of this and she told me it was part of my psychosis basically im delusional so now i turn to the internet
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Clara Pockford - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 21:41:17 EST NUPLxYIu No.534276 Reply
That's interesting. What a shit stretch of life, man. So how old are you? Where's your dad, do you have a girlfriend? Ever considered going to college? Depending on where you live you could qualify for enough financial aid to completely cover a 2 year degree. I'm not saying the degree will help you (it may), but the experience of going to college could be something that improves the quality of your life. If you don't have drug charges then you shouldn't have a problem getting financial aid.

That's some pretty weird stuff.. if you tried to kill yourself shouldn't there be marks or something? How could your therapist "look up your history"? I'm pretty sure HIPPA laws prevent that. Also what kind of history?

Did you not ask your mom what the hell she was doing? That sounds weird, given that you can't trust here you probably should never consider having sex with her. Maybe I didn't need to say that but that raised a red flag in my head. I am considering at the same time that maybe this didn't happen either or that you remember incorrectly. I don't necessarily think you're delusional but maybe you've just gotten some memory mixed up.. it's happened to everyone at times. I also don't know if you use drugs heavily or 99% of the other information about your life.

People do sometimes develop weird desires to fuck with other people and can get a raise or a lot of enjoyment out of doing it. I've had people I lived with make noises at me and basically stalk me. One day I realized it was happening and it was pretty disturbing. That's not really something I could expect everyone to believe happened, but I actually verified it in a couple ways. All I'm saying is that sometimes for whatever reasons, people can get into creepy behavior patterns. Also plenty of people like to see other people be miserable or have misfortunes happen to them. It's probably not a permanent trait but somehow they've gotten into a behavioral pattern of doing that. Complex idea not worth discussing further at this time. I'm not saying this is what's happening in your case, just that I think what you're saying about people fucking with you, is very possible. But I don't know you or your life. You honestly need to trust yourself.

It's important to trust one's self. Your mind and what you think, in a way, matters more than anyone else's mind and what they think. It's YOUR life you're living and you live it through YOUR perception of experience. You need to find a way to check yourself to see if you're thinking in a fair or maybe logical way. If you can't figure it out then you need to let what you can't figure out go and not form and solid opinions and definitely not act on them if you have formed them. Move on to new territory, think about new things, focus on new experiences.

Sorry to hear you've been locked up most of your life. I've done a year in county jail and it made me want to kill myself.


OP you should definitely distance yourself from these people and get a grip on and lock down your life. Be protected from people doing these things to you. Do you have goals in life?
Nell Sishhid - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 23:51:41 EST R53U7UMb No.534280 Reply
im 33 now just got out of prison for felony theft so i dunno if i can get a grant i dont have a gf or freinds right now i have tried going to college and was using khan acadamy before going to prison.. being in a mental institute when i was in high school left me in a mess as far as education so i just ended up getting my ged

when i tried killing myself as a kid i had tried to jump out of a car amd also put a rope around my neck. the same officd is what i go to now and apparently it was something he could look up.. details of me even talking about a heaven tree that prodeces any thing you desire

i gave up on talking to my mom ahe rewrites history and just flat out wont talk about it

and with my grandparents my grandfather (the one who did the toothbrush thing i believe) well hes into bdsm i know ive seen his porn.. so i figure as he was a college guy it was his way of getting back at me for keeping him up all night

i try to stay away from my family now they are controlling and seem to be negative in somethings. but my mother is financially helpful by giving me loans shes decent but not my cup of tea

unfortunately the halfway house released me tk her 3 weeks ago while i wait on a 3/4 house..

thats a house in the community with other people who all live there and pay rent and shit.. a group home by other names.

i do haave goals and hobbies and college is one.. unfortunately i made the mistake of heavy mutilation and though my scars are moatly fadwd it does inhibit certain socialization.. and do to being locked up so much i just havent talked to many sane people .. outaide of thw institute i would just atay at home and play on the computer.. WoW is a terrible thing

but i do work and try to make do
Nell Sishhid - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 23:54:01 EST R53U7UMb No.534281 Reply
also my dad has been gone since i was one he was around but he drinks and drugs so his priorities were at the bar but later in. life i hung out with him and his old lady a lot till she died .. he got with someone else but ended up killing her and is prison right now

i believe it was an accident though

My dick and relationship is broken

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- Mon, 09 Mar 2020 23:21:57 EST rRCczUYu No.533952
File: 1583810517227.png -(128848B / 125.83KB, 291x291) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My dick and relationship is broken
Okay so I've been with my potential other for 11 years now and we still love each other very much, but about four years ago they became trans (without getting surgery). That sort of changed everything. Before he was trans we basically had like 2-3 actual arguments in seven fucking years because we're best friends with similar interests and we had jack shit to actually argue about.

Everything was great, but they came out over their social media (He says it helps him feel safe to "shout into the void" instead of just coming to me directly) which wasn't the way I wanted to find out, because it made me feel like I wasn't apart of anything even though I was right here the entire fucking time, somehow not seeing any signs of him wanting to be a guy. I just assumed they were a tomboy with long hair and massive tits, which was perfect.

But with time came physical appearance changes along with things like wearing a packer when they go to work, and binding constantly even though he doesn't do those things at home. (For comfort reasons). For some reason it fucking enrages me to no end, and I don't lash out at them but I've told them that it makes me feel uncomfortable when they wear it around me. I'm not even homophobic, it just makes something in my brain misfire and want to shrivel up, much like my penis.

I feel like such a little bitch because I want him to be happy, but I find myself growing more and more unattracted to how masculine he looks now, and I don't see it stopping even though they try and reassure me. They eventually want to change more and more about themselves, and now they want to have top surgery, and they were talking about taking T at one point before quickly backing down, which I'm sure is 100% only due to how I reacted about it... It just feels like I'm holding him back and it hurts so fucking bad because I want him to be happy.

The past few times we've spent entire weekends fucking I'd have to take those shitty Rhino boner pills you get from convenience stores because he's become more handsome than cute and my penis is dying when I'm around them unless I turn the lights off when we fuck. I can only jack off and fuck my onahole now without taking pills and it sucks ass. I'm just in my late twenties for fucks sake.

I'm not asking for what to do, but does anyone have advice that isn't just "BREAK UP WITH THEM IT'S TOXIC"?
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Betsy Blacklock - Fri, 10 Apr 2020 18:19:46 EST 74/lHxSF No.534256 Reply
Jesus man just skip things you don't understand, don't bark at them like a dog.
Simon Peddlesore - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 04:29:29 EST d4fOgvZr No.534262 Reply
The part that is a bit confusing is that OP uses "he" and "they" interchangeably, making it look like he is talking about two different people.

Iv heroin addict

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- Fri, 06 Mar 2020 21:26:39 EST meKKp2Ju No.533916
File: 1583547999137.jpg -(47562B / 46.45KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Iv heroin addict
I'm a degenerate, 26 year old, IV heroin user who works at a paintball field 2 days a week. I want to change my life. My girlfriend is forcing me to get clean Monday and she's the one who takes me to cop and absolutely hates taking me. She is threatening to leave me if i don't stop and I'm so afraid of withdrawals. I can't go to rehab because my friends and family will find out and it'll do more harm than good. I need advice and I need a friend so badly. Right now I have 4 bags of H that my gf is distributing to me as needed but it's gonna be bad soon. I'm talking puking, diarrhea, anxiety, restlessness, cold and hot flashes, etc. You know, typical withdrawal symptoms. God I'm such a fuck up.
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Fucking Babberwot - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 14:20:47 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534023 Reply
I don't mean to cast aspersions over the legitimacy of your experience. I can only partially empathise with you but I'm doing it to the full extent I can you know?

I wonder what made you suicidal as a kid. I am only alive because my self esteem was so low I assumed I'd fail and everyone would hate me and I know life can me MUCH worse than I had it. You probably only can enjoy life on drugs, but why? Is this changeable? maybe not. But maybe it is for OP. Worth trying before he commits to your path, because worst case he ends up exactly where you said he would anyway.
Hannah Girringbanks - Sat, 04 Apr 2020 17:55:38 EST SksStEss No.534195 Reply
1586037338964.jpg -(58006B / 56.65KB, 700x933) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Go to rehab man, you're family finding out and having some people think poorly of you doesn't matter at all. You're going to be up shit creek if you get caught holding and you're hurting your body. Get professional help.
Oliver Pemmleridge - Fri, 10 Apr 2020 10:06:54 EST VMzmKgcf No.534253 Reply
this thread makes me realize that even though i'm addicted to pot, it's only pot. yikes.
will this not help? but i don't want you to die with withdrawal, but wouldn't doing literally nothing for a long enough period of time fix you? sounds like your gf cares about you a lot to force that

i'm not coping very well with quarantine

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- Wed, 08 Apr 2020 15:39:56 EST zLz8KnuE No.534219
File: 1586374796281.png -(339187B / 331.24KB, 899x474) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i'm not coping very well with quarantine
i was very lonely before and i'm even lonelier now. i miss my ex and nothing i do seems to make me feel any better
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Eugene Bommletit - Thu, 09 Apr 2020 16:01:51 EST XXR+yDXG No.534232 Reply
lol maybe don’t reply to my post then dum dum?? what the fuck man. prancing around /qq/ with that condescending tone is hardly helping too. if you wanna be helpful I recommend not being such a smarmy cunt sometimes, gets your message across better.
Phineas Degglestick - Thu, 09 Apr 2020 19:07:44 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534234 Reply
If you haven't got friends then shit sucks. If you had a decent relationship you can have friends. If you can't have friends you probably can't hold a decent relationship and you'll end up codepedent.

Right now you can't magic friends out of thin air. But when this shit is done you can go out and find them. What interests do you have? Anything that lends itself better to being in person? If you like getting drunk and chatting shit there's always "find a bar that you like the vibe of" you'll get rejected by strangers a lot but that's not on you, that's just you being a solitary person trying to make friends. Then once you make a few friends don't stop and become clingy with your new ones. Keep going. If some people around think you're alright it's contagious.

If you have a hobby people do socially that isn't drinking it's even easier. Just go to place, be nice, don't try too hard to impress, listen to people, respect them and have fun and friends will happen.

assholes whining about and breaking quarantine because they're lonely

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- Tue, 07 Apr 2020 05:19:13 EST /9BHFeJm No.534209
File: 1586251153710.jpg -(112290B / 109.66KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. assholes whining about and breaking quarantine because they're lonely
>I'm such a social person I can't stand it you wouldn't understand what it's like to be lonely like this for me
Am I not human? Don't I need human contact like anyone else? The only difference is I was this alone before the quarantine and will be after it too. Fuck you and your entitlement
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Nigel Blathercocke - Wed, 08 Apr 2020 05:14:56 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534217 Reply
True but if you remove the second sentence of my post the rest still makes sense. What is OP's predicament? His post implies no social contact. What's his idea of a good time? Why doesn't he people?

Suffering is somewhat relative and one should remember that. It doesn't follow rules or logic except that which is internal. If we completely ignore another problems because "mine is worse" we are being hypocritical. If not having the worst problems means you should shut up then there's one person in the world allowed to feel sorry for themselves. Because of the phenomenon of relative suffering I know that feeling of having people complaining about the things you can't have not being perfect and how frustrating it is. However taking that attitude doesn't help anyone not even OP.
Sidney Dronderfoot - Wed, 08 Apr 2020 06:02:16 EST eYtQJDH1 No.534218 Reply
So yeah you're comparing yourself to others for one which is both stupid and unfair. So yeah they are better at being social than you but also you are better at being alone than they are so of course you'd feel slighted and of course they'd take it worse than you. Comparing yourself to the average person is self flagellation and also prevents you from understanding the normies. In effect, you are both hurting your self esteem and throwing empathy and understanding out the window by thinking that way. And while it hurts good it gets you fucking nowhere. Yay!!!

Imagine a hermit living alone in the wilderness, looking at your life scoffing and because you have the conveniences of the 1st world and yet you complain about isolation, while relying on other people for every aspect of your physical comfort. To him you dont know the struggles of reality, but also he wouldn't think about you at all because that hermit has things to do to survive and if he did think of you, it would probably be pity with plenty jealousy for those mee goreng packets. And you too may envy him but of course you could be him and you choose not to which of course is probably the smart choice. But yeah do you see that you are a fool for starting this thought experiment.

A child sex abuse survivor would look at your life in envy guy, if they weren't addicted to drugs or busy dragging themselves out the gutter. You didnt even get raped man. You can have relationships without that fear of being overpowered, manipulated and destroyed. Hopefully you didn't get raped though. Theres a good chance you did because this is earth and like 1 in 4 people get raped, especially as kids. Sheesh. My mum got raped and my wife and my daughter. Yeah fucking angry.

The crux of it all is that you arent taking responsibility for yourself and neither are those other fools you are angry at. Congratulations mate, you are one of them. Instead I plead you to look at yourself with honesty and compassion and then to take simple steps to improve yourself in a way that is meaningful to you. Clearly you are lonely and feel that your social network needs improving. Well guess what? Every asshole is lonely right now so you could literally text anyone you knew since elementary school and there is half a chance that they would reply right now out of boredom.

Oh it's not real connection though. Oh they'd be taking the piss and winding me up. Oh theyd only reject me. Oh I must be safe in my discomfort. Take a fucking risk and open yourself up to be hurt again. Clearly social interaction is important to you. Instead of being mad at fuckwits who cant handle isolation, try being a bit more angrier that you are comfortable with your own isolation.
Walter Grandgold - Wed, 15 Apr 2020 19:25:51 EST USUZpST+ No.534321 Reply
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ok it's unfair for me to feel lonely in case they had bad childhoods or something, my own childhood is irrelevant. of course it's fine for me to be lonely if i was traumatised too or also wasn't who knows? something something normies. Fuck off.

Toxic people

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- Sun, 29 Mar 2020 19:36:04 EST iHcUEC3A No.534138
File: 1585524964677.gif -(1486596B / 1.42MB, 200x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Toxic people
How do I let go of other peoples perception of me? I fixate on nasty things people have said to me and about me. People that hold absolutely no value in my life. I live in a small town so I inevitably run into or have to hear about people that I wish I could erase from my life forever. It seems that everyone is associated with each other in some way. I'm pretty well known, and liked for the most part, but I have done some things I'm not proud of. I'm a recovering addict and I've put my business out there, good and bad.

I have an amazingly supportive family and feel nothing but acceptance and love from them. The only opinions I should value are theirs and my own. Yet I spend so much time in my head ruminating over gossip and rumors about me. Its caused me so much social anxiety and made me isolate myself. I get into these negative to thought loops that completely steal my focus.

I've cut out those toxic people but I allowed them to get in my head. I started therapy but I havent had a chance to talk about this stuff yet, and I'm tired of allowing it to consume me. And for the first time I'm dealing with it sober.
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Clara Wobberpitch - Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:45:21 EST 2BXLWDLg No.534206 Reply
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Damn bro, that's heavy. I'm sorry you have to go through life feeling that way.

Holding down a job for a year is actually pretty good. I say if you don't like a job and stick it out for a year, that's an accomplishment. Also, night shift sounds like a pretty cool job for an introvert. Do you have any hobbies? Hopefully you can find an outlet for that pent up crazy(no offence), maybe you could channel that shit into something.
George Drommerson - Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:59:46 EST USUZpST+ No.534207 Reply
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>something he called the black spaghetti monster (looked like a mass of thick black spaghetti tentacles with a single eye in the middle
thas a beholder
George Dartbury - Mon, 06 Apr 2020 18:06:06 EST TVjit2tT No.534208 Reply
Used to write and play music and a few instruments but the spark is gone and has been for many a year. Had a pretty good knack for it at least according to people who listen to the genre. But then I started working and shit and being so deeply depressed and trying your damnedest not to just have a meltdown drains the ever loving fuck out of ya. Not to mention the sleep disorders from it all. I know it is whiny as fuck but some people are just dicked. I just got done with 8 hours of manual labor after going about 20 hours since my last meal and having slept 1 hour in the past 50 hours. There is no energy to do anything productive other than lurk a forum for an hour to unwind and then try and sleep the remainder and gain some energy back for the next day.


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- Mon, 16 Mar 2020 23:21:30 EST wS/ZppQD No.534008
File: 1584415290022.jpg -(125089B / 122.16KB, 646x900) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Help
My best friend is a stallion, he has been for about a year. The worst kind of stallion. He pays rent on his apartment and his wife pays utilities “and for the cats.” She also limits how much weed he smokes, how much he drinks, everything he does. She fucks a doctor at her work.

The other day I went to see him, the entire living room reeked like his wives dirty pussy. She weighs 350+ and is a feminist warrior, surrounded by filth and trash, garbage over flowing next to her wrapped up in blankets on the couch. She talked down to us the entire time, like she always does.

His other 2 friends are both huge leftists, the type who think this kind of shit is normal and that if I said anything I’m not being open minded.

I’m about to go tell me friend he is getting completely fucking swindled, he needs to leave his wife immediately (they’re talking about having a kid and buying a house, neither things she wants to rush but he does) and that his other friends aren’t real friends if they just tip toe around this. And that it pains me to watch someone I’ve known my entire life be so naive and get completely fucked over like this.

Am I overstepping my boundaries here?
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Molly Wesslehidge - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 19:26:33 EST VMzmKgcf No.534027 Reply
i think that ultimately your friend has to make his decisions, but you can clearly see that its toxic as shit and that's prob true. you should try to make your bud realize that this is bad, and that he will encounter serious life troubles. you aren't overstepping your boundaries, you should try. that fat woman will gobble up all his energy, what u see now will only be magnified through the years. the kid will be fucked up. if it doesnt take.. you cant save everyone
Hannah Girringbanks - Sat, 04 Apr 2020 17:52:43 EST SksStEss No.534194 Reply
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First, Plead with him "to wait" on having a kid, this is smaller and will seem much more reasonable to him

Next, Bump up his self esteem through praise and help him establish positive thinking.

Finally introduce him to the red pill where he can find what he deserves as a man
Shit Clerrystork - Sat, 11 Apr 2020 01:24:33 EST oXo9Ddud No.534257 Reply
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I like how you redpill dopes fantasize.

The reality is no one wants to be around you.
User is currently banned from all boards

I feel like there's no point. Not after all these mistakes.

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- Sun, 01 Mar 2020 06:33:08 EST LVT2gtFp No.533846
File: 1583062388155.jpg -(55083B / 53.79KB, 349x344) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I feel like there's no point. Not after all these mistakes.
Allow me to use this occasion to vent a little, reflect on what I did wrong, and wonder on what is actually fixable if there's any hope in sight for me. I'm 20, and I'll be 21 in exactly one month. I've been a NEET for two years now since I dropped out of college in February 2018, lying to everyone in my social circle or online - they still believe I'm attending university, that I'm a second year in linguistics. This web of lies I entangled myself in during all this time has been weakened lately, due to me not being able to muster the strength to go outside and take walks for hours anymore.
My parents and lil brother are starting to wonder how good I must have had it recently thanks to all the "canceled" classes. It's also getting more difficult to face my friends, making up believable stories about my student life, making up timetables, talking to random people around my age in bars in the evenings and asking them to take pictures with me so that I can pretend going to parties, creating the illusion of an active student social life etc. Thankfully, I managed to secure a full time job as a postman, and I'll begin tomorrow morning. I suppose it's a first step for getting my shit together, right? The thing is... I feel like I've already wasted my life and intellectual potential, and my ego is strangely left unsatisfied as a result with only myself to blame for this.

Since I was a child, I never built up a real work ethic nor disciplined myself enough to overcome hurdles outside of videogames. I was good in classes early on, and I let all the positive reinforcement go to my head, basically locking my psyche in the following mindset : "Anything that requires effort means I'm not good at it naturally, so it's not made for me. I shouldn't even try to attempt it, I'll find something I'm naturally good at for that sweet recognition. I prefer to enjoy my free time doing what I want like reading manga or playing videogames rather than try to do things that aren't made for me. Fuck responsibilities, I'd rather avoid them than facing them lmao."
Obiviously, this way of thinking quickly proved itself to be inefficient during highschool and I barely managed to graduate, relying on luck to get by.
At the time of graduation however, while I was concerned with my future and increasing uncertainty regarding what I wanted to do with my life compared to everyone I knew who had clear goals in mind, everything was still kinda okayish. I still had a naive positive outlook on life. The real issues that prompted me to give up two years ago was the combination of a growing feeling of inferiority reaching the boiling point* that has always been there since my early years and an extreme laziness that made me place my hopes in winning the lottery to fix my life.

*Reasons as for why I felt inferior :
-Lack of self confidence, due to me thinking I wasn't good at a lot of things (caused by me not attempting to try in the first place as said above)
-Inability to talk to girls or to seduce them romantically, making me focused on this above all else instead of more important matters.
-discovering redpill/blackpill communities as a teen
-me being below average looking, getting insecure about my masculinity and my worth as a man when puberty started to hit. (4 inch long pencil dick when erect didn't help either, especially when porn pushed the BBC meme which further destroyed my self worth as a black man)
-Being not smart enough to succeed at uni, even if I didn't try my best I had the feeling that my grades wouldn't improve if I tried to actually work. After all, I don't know how to study.

All of the above killed my ego, has led me to believe that I wasn't smart or mentally strong enough to do anything in life, got me kinda depressed, and I deliberately entered a life of NEETdom while playing the lottery from time to time so that I could enjoy a lazy life free of any responsibilities. But it didn't work, as you can guess. For reasons I won't disclose, I got heavily indebted and have to repay the debt ; this was the reason that made me look for a job. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have tried. I have no interests. No knowledge, nothing that I look forward to outside of videogames, maybe my family and close friends well-being I suppose.(Whom I started to see and interact with less and less out of shame but mostly ou…
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Angus Geddlepet - Sat, 28 Mar 2020 14:11:42 EST qTml9FbR No.534123 Reply

>Joy isn't based on circumstances. Inability to feel joy is based on attachments.

I don't believe this is wholly true. It is in a way, but only in the most extreme. Joy is often very much attached for our homeostatic being. Could we find joy in physical suffering? I'd argue that our understanding of joy in this discussion is in connection to metaphysical relations, social and mental.
Doris Pimblewill - Sat, 28 Mar 2020 14:12:55 EST rwmHBidJ No.534124 Reply
Sure you can find joy in the presence of suffering. That's literally life.
Hannah Girringbanks - Sat, 04 Apr 2020 15:48:50 EST SksStEss No.534191 Reply
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Hey I noticed that this was posted about a month ago, I hope you had a happy birthday. I think good things are waiting down the road for you. Dude I'm 27 and I can tell you that you are just where you need to be on your journey.

I can say with confidence that every year of life has been different than the one the came before it. We are in a fucking 20's ! It's not too late at all. The ups and downs are really intense. But actually everything winds up working out most of the time.

Keep trying your best and don't allow negative thinking hinder you. It is good to have goals to keep you headed in the right direction but if you are taken over by a feeling of inferiority because of them then you need to check your mindset.

For example, If you want to become strong that's great. But you should use the motivation like " I want to become great because that would be so cool and I owe it to myself to do it ". Do not use motivation like " I'm such a piece of shit I need to wake up and hit the gym because I'm such a lazy fuck " . Negativity is toxic in nature. Try catching yourself when you are sliding into that kind of mindset.

To put it another way, Your mind is your house. If some thought, a guest, enters your house with dirty shoes on it's going to get everything dirty and it will take a longer time to clean up than if you had just set the rules that that kind of thought isn't allowed in or at least needs to check its muddy shoes at the door. You set the rules of your house because it's yours. Keep your house clean, Keep your mind clean.

You have things to learn, girls to fuck, mistakes to make, great places to go, money to be made, and people of all kinds to meet.

I sincerely recommend you try some meditation. it doesn't have to be spiritual so don't worry if you're not down with that kind of thing. There is an app you can download called headspace, check it out for free or you can torrent the full version using this magnet link: okay this site won't let me post it here but i'm sure you can find it if you try.

Good luck Anon, you're gonna be better than fine, i hope this post helps you in some way.>>533846


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- Tue, 24 Mar 2020 06:05:15 EST ObhhTE06 No.534089
File: 1585044315303.jpg -(96232B / 93.98KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Meditation
My boyfriend is so deep into mindfulness and meditation that I now feel so unable to relate to him, or more that he cannot relate to me. I don’t mean this in a bad way against him either—he is not preachy about it, he actually rarely brings it up to anyone because he gets embarrassed about it in conversation (we both work in mental health fields and agree how cringey it is that “daily mindfulness!” is such a flowery fad right now). But I mean he listens to long lectures almost every single day and can sometimes spend hours meditating every night. The thing is like… he’s good at it, he’s doing it right, he suffers so much less now compared to how he used to but only he is now kind of robotic. Any problem, issue, emotion, or anything that comes along, he always just says “just have to let it go” and the same if I ask for advice. I don’t want to over simplify him because I know he has practiced a long time to get to this point but it can sometimes be frustrating, I talk about my day and something that bothers me and he will never come right out and say it because I know he’s conscious of not being annoying, but effectively anytime I ask for advice he eventually comes around to “you just have to let it go, it’s in the past.” It’s like YEAH I KNOW! I do fucking know that but not every part of life has to be processed so routinely and healthy, even though yes! I get that it’s obviously the wise decision. I don’t know I just sometimes feel so silly compared to him because again he actually is really healthy at the moment and truly nothing bothers him, I just wish he didn’t seem so unaffected by life? so uninvested? I know it sounds so fucking silly and immature but I realised that if we broke up he would immediately begin his process of letting go and would definitely be heart broken I know that, but he would just give me away to the past like everything else and it really upset me for some reason.
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George Broddlemuck - Wed, 25 Mar 2020 15:03:10 EST sMdGnVRt No.534096 Reply

ya boyfriend went too far. Check out Jon Atack's videos on youtube and Steve Hassan's books... mindfulness can go very very wrong, become a kind of chronic disassociation ... BUT ... he'll probably adjust back to being a human being soon, hopefully
Cornelius Wopperway - Thu, 02 Apr 2020 14:38:25 EST f0eg67LO No.534170 Reply
He's in a phase right now, a very important one. And he will be there for a while. But he'll be at a crossroads soon enough when it comes to you. They say, "before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." A life of asceticism and simplicity should not be forced, not should it be a means to an end. It's good to practice, but then you waste away all the good things around you, the people that need you, our place and purpose on this earth. If anything, find ways to explore his world, or rather, the world he's exploring right now.

And letting go is the best advice anyone can ever give. It's just another way of saying, stop giving a fuck, don't care about problems that isn't yours. But there's an art to it: you have to be very selective in who/which/what is worth your fucks to give. If you gave a fuck about everything, well, you wouldn't be able to take care of the things that you truly give a fuck about. So there, your boyfriend should give a fuck about you if this all feels stagnant to you.

Don't think that he doesn't care about you; he does. People just have trouble expressing it or getting through it. Don't think actions, or the lack of it, has any deeper meaning if we don't even know what's there in the depths. And we live in a society where we're discouraged to have the tolerance and patience for it. I mean, it took a year to get through to my wife, as well as a year for her to get through to me. This is where choosing who matters really counts, because you are willing to go through the dirt for him, only because you know he's willing to do the same. I notice that lifelong relationships work best when you're their best cheerleader and vice versa. You don't teach a dog a few tricks by punishment, you teach them through positive reinforcement and communication.

Maybe his past is so distraught that he'd do anything to rid of it. Help him. Work on the present. Be his future. Good luck.

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