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Life sucks now

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- Sat, 08 Jan 2022 05:10:28 EST zmhoNRRX No.541732
File: 1641636628341.jpg -(24539B / 23.96KB, 205x246) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Life sucks now
does anyone else here just think about the old days depressed all the day yet?

>used to have friends go to school every day etc
>lost everything i basically just sit alone all day
>just listen to the same music and stuff i used to listen with friends and cry about how long ive been alone
>get drunk or smoke and just remember doing it with friends and laughing having fun
>can't believe i used to get up shower, dress in nice clothes, go outdoors and hang out with friends every day
>jokes and laughing, playing video games with friends, having people to drink or smoke weed with
>all conversations feel awkward now i miss having friends i have stuff in common with and inside jokes and a comfortable group
>plus i noticed people are more hostile now everyone acts like an ass hole
>it's impossible to make friends without school because it's the only place that traps a bunch of people the same age together bored out of their mind
>it just keeps getting lonelier and it's harder to do anything social alone and everything is better with friends
>less motivated to dress up, shower, clean my shit, get haircuts, etc because i don't see people every day and i'm never happy
>it's insanely hard to meet friends let alone finding multiple people with a similar personality who like the same stuff as you
>everything in my life just keeps getting worse and worse on top of this
>don't live in a place with good public transit and tons of shit to do

i can't believe i used to hang out with people every day and now i just lay around missing it. i don't even know what the fuck to do alone i feel like no matter what i do i just go and stare and stuff and feel awkward.
8 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Basil Saggledudge - Sat, 02 Apr 2022 22:33:45 EST Rv2KrrEU No.542535 Reply
>>541732>>541732
yeah, I sorta get like that usually at 3 am when I cant sleep. Think about where my life went wrong, old insecurities, events, parties. I see it as a painful sign of age and growth.
>>
Cornelius Dummerdore - Sun, 10 Apr 2022 13:32:26 EST qGWbWsmn No.542580 Reply
I feel you OP, I kinda stopped seeing my best friends over the past 2 years and work from home has made me realize I don't have a ton of friend. Might post later to elaborate but just saying I feel you

protip go to bars drink and talk to people, or maybe that's just me ;)
>>
Charlotte Brookwell - Thu, 14 Apr 2022 06:24:56 EST RQvVDkFW No.542599 Reply
1649931896625.jpg -(5260B / 5.14KB, 215x197) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>542535
>a painful sign of age and growth
>growth
It sounds like the polar opposite of growth. It sounds like complete stagnation. Hope you're finding a way out. I'm struggling myself.

schizo demons

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- Wed, 16 Mar 2022 14:03:16 EST LlzWaF6r No.542450
File: 1647453796107.png -(261905B / 255.77KB, 680x976) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. schizo demons
I have schizo-affective disorder on top of a bunch of taught bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I was a truly awful kid. I deserved to get my ass whooped. My dad was (I only learned this later) that my dad was schizo. I've been living far away from him for nearly a decade now, but he's living rent free in my head. Sometimes I'm in the room with him, shouting and fighting back, and my body will show it. I'll be talking (in my head-voice) to him, always behind me, and when I get pissed off my veins will seize up and I'll be in the old kitchen again. Just for an instant, my body is overcome with the experience. When I notice, my inner-self has to feel outward to my senses.
This happens in waves. Usually I can go a week to a month without succumbing to these episodes, but when they come the waves will hit for days at a time. I don't know how to solve this because I already know I was right and he's wrong. I can't sever my whole being from him, he's me. How do I fix this?
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Ghengis Dong - Fri, 25 Mar 2022 19:25:12 EST 6BS3laZt No.542502 Reply
1648250712488.jpg -(216197B / 211.13KB, 943x850) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>542450
I have similar visceral flashbacks, though not diagnosed schiz-effective I have a vividness to my flashbacks which fringes on full blown psychosis.

What others in this thread have said is valid IMO: this is a trauma flashback, and it's usually an indicator of PTSD. From what you describe a really challenging instance of it.

I'm 30 and it has been a lifelong struggle. But things can definitely get better. I know in my case I have sometimes assumed the perspective of the abuser in order to avoid unquenchable anger which was just as destructive as recognizing the truth. Hard to eloquate but let's take two scenarios that played out often for me.


Scenario 1:
A: That man was a monster and fucked me up for the rest of my life and I have no recourse. I won't be soothed
B: Burn the earth, fuck them, you owe no one, not even yourself, let's see how bad things can get. *drinks*

Scenario 2:
A: I can't get over this shit that happened to me, I guess I was just being a lil' bastard and to this day I refuse to learn my lesson and now my shit's all retarded
B: LOL yea, you're weird and should be grateful anyone puts up with you. Just be content that even people who mistreat you now would even deign to spit on you.

Both scenarios became this dichotomy that ruled me for most of my life. What I have found helpful is focusing on establishing healthier routines that include meditation and food. I used to stay up too late because I felt like I needed more hours of the day to process all the emotional shit that was stirred up each day.

When I finally started managing my time I confronted the fact that "dude we ain't solving our issues staying up til 3am with work in the morning, it's gonna take weeks years, if you only have 2-3 hours free after work, that's just all ya got sorry"

With time, it's odd, though gardening cooking and the mundane things of life seem like escapes, they actually can become like venues where we lear to fight these demons on our own terms and then can sally forth and take back our lives like lil Helms Deeps.
>>
Charlotte Fuggletag - Fri, 25 Mar 2022 20:33:17 EST e7+a239W No.542503 Reply
1648254797438.jpg -(86125B / 84.11KB, 640x857) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Oh man this entire thread is relatable. Over zealous dad, would basically stifle any of my attempts to express myself, and he would frequently flip his lid, and just get super mad/frustrated. It was honestly pathetic to watch. I would frequently wonder why he was like that, and try to be patient, but he kept flipping his lid. Even to this day. I now realize how denigrating this was to watch a full grown man wallow in frustration and stupor.

I thought I was fine and dandy, self-medicated throughout high-school, and oh I'm not going to be like him. But when I look around now, and see how fucking normal people are, and removed from this world of fuck I inhabit, man my parents had no right marrying, or having me. Yet here I am trying to make my life into something meaningful.

It definitely doesn't help when you add in a layer of christian-god-complex to the whole thing, because then the abuser uses god to excuse the abuse. Then you aren't good enough because of god. Anything you try to talk to them about, it becomes about religion.

I've had issues with weed, and just being paranoiac, slightly SAD. When under lots of stress, I will literally mis-interpret what people are saying or doing as being abusive. Not to mention just emotional issues in general. Man, I literally want to be normal, but cant, and everyone who is normal gets pushed away despite my honest intentions to develop relationships.

Generational abuse is a real thing, I know my dad struggled with his own family issues, but at some point it's got to stop.

Does CBT work?
>>
William Dindlesat - Wed, 06 Apr 2022 14:03:37 EST gbstPHB5 No.542562 Reply
>>542456
my teacher in primary school beat me in front of class at least few times. I was quite enthusiastic kid, we were on school trip in forrest or somewhere, and i was jumping and running around well like a quite enthusiastic child, then she told me to come closer. I did, then she literally beat my ass with stick, once but quite hard. I also remember being sexually molested as child in primary school by guy few years older than me. He wanted money first but parents refused to give me money if i dont tell them why. So once on school trip, he pushed me in the forrest with some girls his age and they ordered me to take my pants off and they watched my wiener

How to deal borderline girlfriend

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- Thu, 30 Sep 2021 01:00:35 EST tKim6Y+F No.540730
File: 1632978035432.jpg -(17728B / 17.31KB, 720x1516) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How to deal borderline girlfriend
We've been together for over a year and a half, and we've been friends since I was 10. I loved so many things about her before dating her, and still do, but ever since a month or two into our relationship, I've felt more and more trapped in so many things.

>Barely have any alone time aside from work, something i feel like i need sometimes to unwind and decompress. can't do anything she doesn't want to that I want to: play videogames, post on forums, watch youtube or lets plays or twitch. Gets angry when I don't text her or call her for more than several hours that I'm away at work or family. Will say I'm abandoning her or that id rather do those things than be with her.

>Can't do any drugs, we used to do drugs together, mainly psyches and weed, really bad idea in hindsight. I feel bad about fucking up her brain more. But I liked doing them for insight and mental refresh, was a good way for me to unwind. Again, she says "I guess you'd rather do those things than be with me". Any time I did weed or alcohol around her and acted any way except completely sober, she gets mad at me and calls me stupid or retarded if I forget anything or can't articulate my thoughts on the spot.

>Doesn't let me look at porn, she looks at porn whenever I rub her. She says its different because she imagines me fucking her when she watches, but says when I watch it I imagine fucking the girl in the video. She let me fap to it once when she was watching, and we ended up fucking anyway. We fuck pretty often too, so its not the biggest deal to me, but still, I feel like there's a double standard, and it feels very controlling.

>She's very insecure about her body, she saw my porn folder once and thinks I only like chubby women, when i also had thinner girls in there too. we get into fights about it pretty frequently.

>Haven't visited any friends since being with her, she said she'd let me hang out with my best friend since middle school if she could come along, and later said she'd let me hang out alone, but any time I make plans she gets all possessive again. Won't let me talk to any girls (except this one she trusts,) even if they are just friends from work, thinks ill fuck any person with a vagina or get manipulated into cheating on her.


Will post aabout it later, I need to get hhome.i love her so much but the stress is weighing on me pretty hard . ALso the text box is ffucking up bad wtf.
24 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Priscilla Crebbershaw - Fri, 01 Apr 2022 12:24:36 EST C7+fY6kr No.542527 Reply
Fuck her, make a sex tape then upload the vid on the internet. She will get hyper insane than she had ever been and it will be fascinating to see.
>>
Oliver Goodgold - Sat, 02 Apr 2022 06:43:03 EST kt7PEOLo No.542534 Reply
>>542527
And potentially go to jail for revenge porn, or beat the rap and then have to explain to every background checking employer why you were arrested for "being a creep".
>>
Basil Saggledudge - Sat, 02 Apr 2022 22:35:17 EST Rv2KrrEU No.542536 Reply
>>540730
im not going to give relationship advice like many here. please speak to her about this, half of the stories here could be fixed with talking it out.

A person's cry for helpful or supportive comment:

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 21 Mar 2022 12:45:55 EST Poj5M2Bi No.542471
File: 1647881155075.jpg -(38720B / 37.81KB, 526x526) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. A person's cry for helpful or supportive comment:
Someone I know did something bad because they thought the harm would be unnoticeable in comparison to the help it would provide their family which is in a degree of financial emergency. They got caught doing this and while they can deal with most of the immediate repercussions, they confessed to what they did and are now at the complete mercy of the offended party. The offended party can now or at any moment levy further claims against the this person, who would have no chance do anything about it. This person is literally bankrupt. This person has not been taking medication prescription for mental illness and is in a state of personal emergency in regard to that.

They have been working on selling belongings to boost income for various bills. They are currently trying to wait out a state of extreme shaking nervousness in order to get to the pharmacy as this is typed on their behalf. After paying money to satisfy the wrongdoing and harm caused, what else can they do to protect themselves from further harm?

Any help at all (other than detail questions) will have a real world effect on a person in emergency. Specifically appreciated would be words on getting this person into a functioning mind state, and also how to insulate the person from something which, practically speaking, would be functionally similar to blackmail (process-wise, whether legally blackmail or not).

The foremost limitation of this person is that they lack the ability to afford a lawyer. They also lack the ability to interact usefully with people in terms of their nerves and composure. This person's strategy in dealing with obsessive compulsive behavioral issues and aspergers has been to withdraw to reduce its exposure and effect on others, not a healthy strategy of seeking help. This has been so for many years and the person has a lot of long term work to do to reverse this. In the short term, behaviorally speaking, this person is in complete despair, emergency, and regret. They are asking for some words of help or even just support from you.

Thank you for reading this post.
>>
Augustus Gamblestotch - Mon, 21 Mar 2022 12:59:08 EST Jjlea+FP No.542472 Reply
>>542471
dude this is too vague, I can't figure out what's going on.

I mean I can say for next time and for everyone reading this: every time you, or anyone else, does something in an "the ends justify the means" spirit it always causes harm, sometimes immediately and sometimes in the long term, but it always causes harm. every time you find yourself thinking "maybe the ends justify the means", don't do whatever it is you were thinking of doing, find another option.

ok so someone is potentially going to be blackmailed and they are f***ed financially already.

> They are asking for some words of help or even just support from you.

I don't think they'll get help when the situation is so vague and enigmatic, but maybe that's better, people here usually give the same terrible advice to absolutely everyone without thinking: "break up with him" or "join the army".

So support, well it sounds like a really awful situation to be in but it also sounds like the sort of thing that is time limited and will definitely pass and some day be a distant memory.

You can support your friend by listening to them, being there with them, keeping them company sometimes, talking about other stuff with them sometimes, sharing activities together that distract them.

If "this person" is you, I hope you can find someone who can do that with you.
>>
Cyril Semblestone - Mon, 21 Mar 2022 13:25:05 EST Poj5M2Bi No.542473 Reply
>>542472
Thanks for your reply. The person would definitely be too terrified to be more detailed in open text, or even to write from a first-person narrative. You are right about company. They are lucky to have people who love them and they have been confessed to. They are disappointed in the person, and also worried about the situation which this wrongdoing and failure has worsened, especially considering the person's assumed role of worker and income source. They never made a lot but this is another level of failure and disgrace. The person assumes that on some level these loved ones and the offended party understand that the wrongdoing was taken in order to avoid a worse financial emergency that will effect loved ones.

But they are totally vulnerable to the offended party. Should that party for any reason feel the need to pursue more restitution, there's little recourse as there was actually only one wrongdoing.

Imagine one football referee tasked with reviewing thousands of games from one static viewing angle after player earned one shockingly egregious flag which called other plays into action. That referee could hardly be blamed for making one call that is factually wrong. The player is terrified of it.
>>
David Norringhall - Tue, 22 Mar 2022 12:02:31 EST Jjlea+FP No.542487 Reply
>>542473
everybody makes mistakes. Every person you meet has made some huge mistakes they feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about, except for people who are very young or people who have psychological disorders preventing them from experiencing shame. "Shameless" people.

Your friend is feeling these feelings because there is a lot to be learned from the situation, the feelings are there to make sure they learn. The feelings don't have to be all consuming.

This will pass.

What can your friend do to help them ride out this storm?
What can your friend learn from this going forward?

Lonely dudes only

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- Tue, 01 Mar 2022 03:11:41 EST 7hPXqqZc No.542277
File: 1646122301686.jpg -(48813B / 47.67KB, 960x637) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Lonely dudes only
Ive spent the last 3 years avoiding people and staying inside my house and thinking 24/7. I dont play video games, I havent had internet just 3 years of waking up, drinking, hobo shelter for a meal and talking to myself. Im only 23 so at one point i was a happy go lucky teen guy. What brought you out of this?
22 posts and 4 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Matilda Fucklepere - Fri, 18 Mar 2022 17:21:16 EST 1o/Oehns No.542462 Reply
1647638476833.jpg -(107572B / 105.05KB, 747x422) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>542457
F that weirdo furry dude bro i relate this is what happend to me yea its been a hellacious few years i sense it all slowly coming together im reading this post after i made it 18 days ago and past 18 days have really been better than probably the past few months and i turn 24 in 7 days so godspeed fellas
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Shit Lightstone - Sat, 19 Mar 2022 23:49:04 EST DMPOlzSV No.542464 Reply
>>542458
I was drunk at the time and mistyped this; my mom sucks and she is responsible for my shitty lifestyle in terms of lack of support and damaging the family enough that finding a real job simply stopped being within a reasonable timeline. my dad owns, but could be a little responsible for making me think it was a good idea, since we played a lot of Ghost Recon and IL-2 together, making me think that military crap could possibly be a good idea, and introducing me to planes and rifles. (oddly enough not any warships, where I work now)

>>542461
where bitch

>>542277
>What brought you out of this?
cash money

angry?

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 05 Mar 2022 14:11:55 EST pEiykEDI No.542361
File: 1646507515694.png -(184736B / 180.41KB, 426x539) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. angry?
Hello friends

i often think people are angry when they aren't

what's that about

has anyone had this problem and managed to overcome it? how did you stopped hearing things like *mild frustration* as *rage* or *annoyance* as *fury*?

Thanks
29 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Eugene Chaggleshaw - Wed, 16 Mar 2022 07:48:53 EST 0+kprItW No.542445 Reply
>>542441
report button does nothing and some of the mods appear to be 4chan immigrants themselves, so your entire post was pointless
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Sidney Sicklefut - Sun, 20 Mar 2022 00:47:04 EST PXsur/N+ No.542465 Reply
>>542445
>User is currently banned from all boards
I love it when a plan comes together

I hate being a victim of child abuse

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 16 Feb 2022 11:24:19 EST R27YY0nL No.542114
File: 1645028659865.jpg -(306265B / 299.09KB, 800x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I hate being a victim of child abuse
I can't stop thinking about what was done to me, and how worse is being done to others. I hate how I still have to rely on my abuser to make ends meet. I barely sleep due to my stress these days and it's hard to hold down a job due to that and other mental health factors. The future seems so bleak. I always looked forward to being an adult and having my freedom, now I feel like a prisoner in a different way. I constantly question whether or not I should kill myself. I just want help in living the nice and quiet life I pictured I'd finally have by now.
21 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Oliver Benderwot - Sat, 12 Mar 2022 17:26:13 EST ksQBBzgO No.542436 Reply
>>542435
I know exactly what i'm worth, that's why i have never and will never get a fucking job.
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Oliver Benderwot - Sat, 12 Mar 2022 17:52:52 EST ksQBBzgO No.542437 Reply
>>542436
Fiver drop per day, that's neat
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
John Songerville - Sun, 13 Mar 2022 19:03:24 EST ksQBBzgO No.542439 Reply
>>542437

Where will you go - Evanescence

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=896aYYpa1y0

Whither wilt thou go?

It's from the old testament. Hagar, a slave, fleas from her master and his barren wife. When she prays to God he tells her to return to her master, so she can spawn him a wild man, Ishmael, who's hand be against every other man, and every other man's hand be against his.

So instead of dying in the wild she send his son to die in her place.

Wither wilt thy go.

I spit on your grave (film)
User is currently banned from all boards

just a rant about how i cant leave my fucking incel life and my abusive mother

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- Wed, 02 Mar 2022 02:11:35 EST lYwVS2OU No.542289
File: 1646205095184.jpg -(455280B / 444.61KB, 1550x1959) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. just a rant about how i  cant leave my fucking incel life and my abusive mother
Im 28, graduated in six years instead of four for my course cause i had a bad amphetamine addiction that landed me in the hospital a couple of times, i had one job i wasnt able to keep because i was a depressed dumbass.

Now that im old and have almost no experience, besides this one job, my graduation and a extra course, and some jobs that dont count as experience like moving stuff, illegally selling coal (for real), gardening and farming.

I was trying hard getting a job to move out of this place but it seems im unable to, and i havent been getting the focus to build on my art to get something related to it, honestly i could be selling NSFW commissions, that would give me money and i have the talent for this for instance, but i never find the motivation.

Not only that, i feel my parents are actively doing stuff to make me keep my dependence on then, my mother keeps pushing me down, telling im enthusiastic and probably fuck everything at interviews, then later she offers me stuff like "we could help you move abroad, go study in europe", thing is, they paid for my sister to move to both germany and australia when she was younger, they never offered this to me until i mentioned i was planning on moving out, i know it sounds like a spoiled kid complaint, but it feels like they wanna keep having power over me, like you will never get a job, be dependent on us forever.

It doesnt help my mother sexually abused me when i was a kid, i feel i never truly been able to love her ever since i was small, i loved my father a lot during my childhood and teenage years, but i began to feel with time and as i grew up that i think he is a coward, someone who quietly watched as my mother abused me and manipulated my sister, things like beating the shit out of her as a teenager cause she didnt get the dress MY MOTHER WANTED her to buy.

My sister fucked out of my mother life as soon as she got some independence, and i mean fully erasing her from her existence, i wish i had my sister mindset, but i spent my early 20s either suicidal, doing drugs or unfairly unstable, its like i only grasped reality now that it feels too late, and i feel my parents will undermine me as much as they dont realize it, cause they fear the moment i leave the house, im fucking off for good of this place.

It sucks more that im in brazil that got a shitty ass economy right now, every interview i got try to bounce around questions like "why is there a two years gap on your resume", and stuff like that.

I feel i have many talents and hobbies that just fuck all dont help at all, im a great mma amauter fighter, but not enough to make a career out of it, im creative, but lack focus to create, im a good artist but not enough to truly make something that gets me attention, a good animator but not animation studio worth.
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Charles Follerhood - Wed, 02 Mar 2022 08:35:39 EST ksQBBzgO No.542303 Reply
>>542289
she wants to fuck
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Lydia Dartway - Wed, 02 Mar 2022 08:55:53 EST +jos21kT No.542304 Reply
>>542289
You have a degree.
Do a concurso.
Why is this hard?

Nobody gives a fuck how you got here, you're 28, no criminal record, no debt, and no kids. You're here, get started.
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Samuel Broddlestone - Thu, 10 Mar 2022 10:59:23 EST 7v4bifTD No.542411 Reply
any money you get from your parents now isn't "dependence" it's asshole tax. But they can attach strings to it, so work towards not needing it. If you need a boost from them to get you out on your own two feet, take it.

Animation and VFX studios always need people to roto, try to get a job as a roto artist and while you are there tell them you are interested in animation and you can kind of animate, they will give you easy shots and long deadlines to work on because it is in their interest that you get better, having staff that can do more than one thing is good.

you can learn to do roto for vfx well enough to get a job as a junior roto artist on udemy and through youtube tutorials, basic animation skills will really help

If you can't get motivation to do anything, it might be some clinical thing OR it could well be your parents are overfunctioners and you will feel more motivated once you move out and get away from them

I want to die

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 26 Feb 2022 17:03:33 EST aK1HJukk No.542238
File: 1645913013265.jpg -(47915B / 46.79KB, 804x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I want to die
Because everyone is garbage and their garbage behavior spreads like a virus and corrupts everyone, including me. Im trash now, anyways everyone else is trash too. someone come run me over with their car cuz apprently some guy on facebook thinks im a pedo and made a police report of me for making a non serious joke. That's it my life is ruined. I hate social media. bullies you into becoming a bully and once you are you get set up by a cop, just like real life. People think you can just fight people irl when in reality thats a fucking charge and everyone else gets away with it except me. I get the pig on my ass. fuck my life, my reputation was ruined years ago, just let me die already, i dont wanna work anymore, I dont wanna live anymore, I dont wanna do anything anymore except not exist. I feel like I've lived way longer than I should have and at this point im a glitched out npc. Life just wants to repeatedly fuck me until I cant be fucked no more.
11 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Alice Snodfoot - Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:42:58 EST PXsur/N+ No.542261 Reply
>>542252
Most people on /qq/ are more mentally broken than the people they're trying to save.
>>
Ebenezer Binningstone - Mon, 28 Feb 2022 03:04:36 EST NK0zoBIs No.542262 Reply
OP I want to fap hearing you cry. But I have the intuition you did commit an hero.
Oh well. I'm a lot more creepy, scary and dangerous than those faggots fuckin with you. You need protection but you going to be my bitch. And I like to degrade both men and women.
>>
Jarvis Damblekock - Mon, 28 Feb 2022 05:58:32 EST d8wf+UkL No.542263 Reply
>>542252
>you assholes are probably worse than OP
None of us came here to post about how oppressed we are by the government that other folks can hurt people with impunity and we can't. We replied to that thread, like you. If you don't like us, don't come here.

insecurity in the city

View Thread Reply
- Fri, 25 Feb 2022 23:28:50 EST 2mnBSxYG No.542231
File: 1645849730729.jpg -(60272B / 58.86KB, 718x721) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. insecurity in the city
I live in a mid sized mid western city and its more viable to drive around in except I don't have a car. My transportation is my feets or long boarding which has never been a big deal, i'm fit and mostly healthy. I sometimes find myself confined to my house because I do live near a busy intersection and while I walk im anxious that everybody is staring at me and judging me. Maybe its the heavy traffic but when im at a cross walk/intersection and cars with heavy black tint are next to me I cant help but be anxious as hell
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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donfoolio - Sat, 26 Feb 2022 00:29:27 EST 2mnBSxYG No.542235 Reply
thanks fellas ya'll are right tho I hate those who stare especially but im sure they dont give a damn about me
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Caroline Brussledock - Sat, 26 Feb 2022 06:22:11 EST vrWAzwOa No.542236 Reply
>>542235
They don't. People in their everyday lives see things that are more...

Beautiful
Horrific
Natural
Awkward
Disgusting
Happy
Lively
Colorful
Out of place
Strange
Fascinating
Subtle

...than you, and probably before they got the car out of their garage. Any father hwo said goodbye to his child on his way to work this morning has had a much more significant life event than meeting you will ever be. You are free.
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Wesley Sazzleridge - Sat, 26 Feb 2022 22:33:38 EST 2Hs+Jr13 No.542242 Reply
I totally agree. Even if you are doing a bunch of load attention seeking **** in public, people are still pretty inclined to just ignore you and not give a **** about you at all. Back when I was doing graffiti and I would be tagging in the centre f town in the middle of the day or late at night or whatever I I would have like
20 cars drive past me while I'm doing this thing next to the road and nobody gave a ****. No one stops. No one gets out. You would occasionally get some sort of. TE looking down their nose kind of comment or you would occasionally get some kind of random bystander. Want to chase you away, but honestly, 99% of the time nobody did anything. Most people just don't care and want to get on with their life. They don't care about you. You are basically anonymous. Congratulations, you are free.

Long delayed resentment towards my girlfriend

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- Mon, 21 Feb 2022 04:47:10 EST B7qy7VY/ No.542209
File: 1645436830632.jpg -(47089B / 45.99KB, 600x457) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Long delayed resentment towards my girlfriend
Last year, I moved to a new city with my girlfriend to start a new job and enjoy a bigger place (we both come from somewhere small). I took my new job very seriously as I felt very lucky to get it in the first place and I was earning more than I ever had, which was a surprising bonus, as I never expected to get the job, and I had originally planned on taking up another, shittier job once we got here.

Basically, I underestimated how hard I would need to work to keep up at the new job and the amount of the hours I would need to work. But that was okay. I was performing really well, working really hard, and achieving obvious results, and honestly I never realised that I would finally see the very boomer-esque appreciation and value of a hard day's work or even come to see myself as any kind of over-achiever. The problem is, my girlfriend was extremely upset about the fact that I was working all the time and we had many, many fights about how hard I had to work, how often I had to work, how much work I brought home, and how little it seemed to her that I would prioritise her over work.

Over the course of the year she yelled at me, hit me, threatened to leave me, threatened to move out and return to our old town, bombarded my phone with calls while I was at work, went through my messages and prowled back years to messages between me and old girls (before I was with my girlfriend) that I had even forgotten were there, and basically swore up and down, again and again, that I needed to quit my job because it was consuming our lives and I was unable to put our life and relationship first.

Now, I have not done her any credit but listing all of these behaviours like that and I'm in a bit of a funk at the moment so I'm sure my tone sounds incriminating. But the fact is that she has a pretty drastic upbringing and she has told me a lot about the way her parents would behave towards each other and I can see that this is all learned behaviour and the horrifying meltdowns I have watched her have after some of our fights where she implodes with guilt and shame about the way she has acted made it clear that she was struggling with herself more than anything and we always worked through everything together.

During these moments, I would reflect on the depth of feeling I had for my girlfriend and the many moments we have shared so far and the life we have gone through such an effort to build and basically come to the conclusion in pic related (super cringe, just shorthand to get across what I mean) that it is irresponsible of me to discard any and every romantic partner I ever have because of a few toxic behaviours especially when I know I'm not perfect and that Love is supposed to conquer all if I have any sense of determination or human spirit, which I try to have.

I always argued to my girlfriend during the year that we were in a new town, new jobs, no friends, finding our feet, and that it was natural for the year to be challenging and in fact exactly what we said we wanted it to be when we moved here. I always advocated patience and said things like we would get better at managing our time and by the way took her point that I was absorbed with work a lot and that I would work on prioritising her and us more.

At this stage, we have succeeded. Really, she has come an incredibly long way and has apologised to me and taken accountability for everything she said and did and is so much better for the year. She has grown up a lot and I'm very proud of the effort she has made.... but I spent the whole year not only managing my new job, working myself harder than ever, having to mend my own mental health and physical body (I was even injured at work), but also completely look after her and her emotions and be her only support system and basically managed her wellbeing on a daily basis.

I feel like after my first year here, she is finally coming to terms with herself and blossoming, she's graceful and understanding and confident and onto bigger and better things. And I am fatigued and worn out and bitter and after pulling back from my job so much in order to accommodate for our life, I have sort of convinced myself that I don't want the job either and my performance is lacking and I'm kind of worn out. In my heart of hearts, I blame her. And I don't know what to do.
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David Bashtare - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 05:48:54 EST P4J5f46n No.542210 Reply
If this isn't someone you're going to end up with then you need to decide what you want from life because you're prioritizing her and it's not getting you anything you need in your life and it's stopping you from having a better relationship, so really you're getting nothing from this and putting a whole lof of work in.
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Alice Fossleworth - Tue, 22 Feb 2022 07:57:42 EST D4WZqSjA No.542217 Reply
1645534662626.jpg -(83833B / 81.87KB, 500x602) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
not to gloss over every single point you mentioned, each with its own entire strings of discussion that could stem from it (but hey i have to make an entry somewhere) so heres my fischer price tips of "relationship-ing"

as your picture eludes to like you yourself have, relationships have multiple breaking points they can reach - I think of it sort of like steam pressure, or water overflowing behind a damn. If you leave it, itll simply build until the results of "the thing happening" are catastrophic and theres no coming back. instead you choose selective damage - you bust the damn somewhere else - you lance the boil - its ugly, you flood a bit of farmland but ultimately, the city is saved

some people think this is "drama". like a functional relationship has no drama, i disagree with that, anyway. I think as people what we want and hate is at best arbitrary and sometimes the thing you loved a year ago gets your nerves now - WE ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING. relationships are two people, two raging emotional hypocrites who have found some comfort in eachother, morphing, adapting, devolving and flourishing in the same place, somehow trying to manage this hazardous crockpot which is the shared pool of their mutual emotions and expectations for one another.

so long story short, i think arguments are inevitable, and if they dont happen youre simply sweeping stuff under the carpet. I also think that by "busting the damn" and forcing the relationship into a testing point, organically, and intuitively, as it has to happen, you are strengthening it. I also believe that people unchallenged in relationships grown to stagnate and co-depend, especially when you share bad habits. neither here nor there though, sorry.

so the other side of this, to coin a term is the "sunken costs" thing. sometimes you can feel just exhausted with a person, like spiritually, emotionally, mentally, you need a break from the burden their love, expectations and scrutiny puts on you. and it can seem like "but after all this, every breaking point, everything we pushed past. our entire history, the good times we had, how could i just piss on it now?"

thats a hard thing to recognise. because while it is exactly what appears in toxic relationships and forces people to stick around for something that is no longer both enriching their lives and giving them purpose and cause for personal development - it can also be the thing that makes you realise what you have is too precious to quit on without a fight

so yeah its a headfuck. only you, if anyone, knows what this is. and i think you can only see a relationship clearly with the additional perspective short-term hindsight gives you. The thing that really needs to happen, at any breaking point..any for in the road, is open, un-laden communication. no guilt, no accusations, just open book stuff.

If your relationship isnt able to handle you both sitting down and just putting your cards on the table, each talking through your wants and reasonings and perceptions of the other and how they feel it affects them - all of that - then its already failed the first pressure test, which is an ill sign

Wasting my life

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- Fri, 18 Feb 2022 12:35:50 EST tCy1IfOH No.542158
File: 1645205750145.jpg -(886379B / 865.60KB, 2220x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Wasting my life
I cant be the only one here thats chronically wasting their life away. Despite all the time and resources I still do fuck all. I should make something of it or atleast do anything useful at all.

Not saying wageslaving is useful . But my NY Resolution was to meditate atleast 2 hours a day, be seriously practicing in religious aspects and finished the King James Version Old and New Testament by the end of the year.

So far I 've meditated 4 hours without a single page being turned. All I do is complain about it or promise myself I will get my act together the next day.

I think part of why I'm like this is laziness, being a spoiled cunt, a deep sense of apathy but also low cognitive executive IQ and functioning like Non-Verbal Learning Disorder shit .


Question for those who can function and satisfactory perform: How do you do it?

For those who fuck up like me : What helped you (if anything) to do better
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Simon Bennernat - Sun, 20 Feb 2022 14:23:42 EST ksQBBzgO No.542201 Reply
>>542183
>>542195
You know exactly what i said, feign ignorance
User is currently banned from all boards
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Nathaniel Husslekurk - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 14:26:35 EST tCy1IfOH No.542214 Reply
>>542160
OP Here.

I didnt want to reply but Im not a hippie hipster posing fakedeep fagg0t just so you know. Theres nothing I hate more than these self aggrandizing blonde haired rastas with their undeserved conscending attitude. Their boney fruitarian bodies arent even good as fertilizer. They truly serve no purpose but the high quality memes they inspired
User is currently banned from all boards

I need some advice

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- Mon, 21 Feb 2022 03:30:49 EST GrRmCTSZ No.542207
File: 1645432249076.jpg -(272519B / 266.13KB, 1920x1040) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I need some advice
I am going through the most stressful part of my life. I lost my job because i got covid and was told i would be able to come back but they kept stringing me along for months and I had some savings i was living off of so I didn't rush to get a new job, eventually i depleted my savings and my job still wouldn't let me back, now I'm broke and I'm looking for new job but I'm about to lose my apartment and fuck up my good rent history and have several loans I have to pay back, my gf is letting me move in but I'm not optimistic about it, and once i get a job I won't have any money for two weeks, I can't seem to catch a break
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Samuel Ponkinway - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 04:11:21 EST cdQhljRk No.542208 Reply
Sounds like you got too comfortable with your time off.

It's a bad time to be homeless. You are lucky as hell to have a gf helping you, but your attitude seems like you're going to end up homeless no matter what I say. It seems like you want somebody to make it easier for you, because you already know exactly what to do just by reading your post.

This is your moment, the rest of your life hinges on. Do not fuck it up.

Best practical advice is be extremely cool to gf and actually get your shit together. These things don't turn out well. Realize your survival is depending on her
User is currently banned from all boards
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David Dupperbury - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 07:13:24 EST InS9Ny/i No.542211 Reply
>>542207
You'd better get your shit together fast. The second she agreed to let her soon-to-be homeless jobless nobucks boyfriend move in, her family and ALL her friends started giving her shit for it.
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Cedric Turveywater - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 11:01:54 EST K6sWG489 No.542213 Reply
>>542207

Sell your plasma. First time donors make bank, and after that its ~300 USD a month

How?

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- Mon, 27 Dec 2021 13:40:49 EST 6Y3I5F9x No.541656
File: 1640630449413.jpg -(173799B / 169.73KB, 1242x1208) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How?
How will i be able to remain sane the way things are going? My personal life is fine. I just got out of a relationship that wasn't healthy for either of us, my job is going well, my apartment is not bad considering how i grew up. But i still can't help but be affected by the current state of the world and how it really does appear to be changing people. I've never been a super political guy and was really good at getting along with people of different ideologies/backgrounds etc by just talking about literally anything else we could relate on. But post-Covid it's like thats not even an option anymore. Everyone in my life from my family members to co workers are all so high strung and angry about political issues all the time that it starts to have an effect on me. My social media use is as light as possible but as you can guess its still impossible for me to escape all this divisive culture war shit on there. Whats new is that it only seems to be getting worse, and i just hear/see more and more unhinged ranting and behavior all around me, with seemingly no end in sight. It's really taken a toll on my mental health this year. I really do just wanna grill. I know theres evil in the world and fucked up shit happening all the time but i just don't see the point in driving myself insane obsessing over it when in reality as cynical as it sounds theres just not much i can do at all to influence those mega-gian intuitions. But like i keep saying it seems like everyone around me is gearing up for some grand ideological fight, and then i get accused of "fence-sitting" when i tell them that i never ever in my life wanted to go fight/die/hurt other people for some cause that doesn't actually give a fuck about me and never will. One of my closest friends in particular is convinced "commies" are gonna kick down his door any minute, then gets pissed at me when i tell him hes simply not that important for the government or some shadowy groupd to want to fuck with. I'm pretty much done with my rant and i realize it might just be worse for me since i live in the US. But does anyone else relate? I really do feel like the whole world is going crazy as stupid and cliche as that sounds.



TL;DR: The last few years and internet politics in general seems to be making everyone around me aggro as fuck and its having an effect on me now too. Not sure if its in my head or real.
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Lydia Nanningkedge - Thu, 17 Feb 2022 08:25:11 EST HKwZoTXp No.542123 Reply
>>542120
>most lukewarm and acceptable view
That goes on and on and on for days and always, invariably, ends with wanting to do violence against innocent people because the opinions might change but the people sure as fuck don't.
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Oliver Tillinglock - Thu, 17 Feb 2022 10:19:44 EST cy1KV5rG No.542129 Reply
>>542123
>>542120
Both of you are examples of what OP is talking about. You're so far up your own asses with your politics you can't see people as just fellow humans anymore. The media has really fried your brains

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