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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

78122

Locked Banned View Thread Reply
- Tue, 06 Aug 2019 17:39:17 EST BCH+gKR5 No.530831
File: 1565127557985.jpg -(25755B / 25.15KB, 576x306) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 78122
I live in a rural town where if I receive any mail without my PO BOX on it, it has to be manually sorted by a butthurt lady and sent back to its original address. Anything I can do to make this lady quit and get a life? How can I get her so much junk mail she quits?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Hannah Smallson - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 19:35:41 EST BCH+gKR5 No.530836 Reply
>>530835

Every one I deal with sees I have a real address, requires a real address, and erases the PO BOX...
>>
Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:30:30 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530853 Reply
how do i deprive some randomer of her livelihood for no reason
>>
Betsy Fuckingworth - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 16:40:41 EST yS+J0n9b No.530875 Reply
>>530836
Then address it to read like apartment/unit number. If your PO Box is 420 for example:

John Doe
123 Fake St.
# 420
Anywhere, USA

In relationship and still depressed

View Thread Reply
- Thu, 08 Aug 2019 02:54:46 EST 4ib52sHp No.530862
File: 1565247286707.jpg -(61333B / 59.90KB, 640x1136) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. In relationship and still depressed
I now have a girlfriend but i feel totally alone and depressed all the time... Is this normal
Like... I do love her.. But I'm nust so sad and bummed out all the time and it just doesn't feel right... I don't want to break up with her but I also don't want to get more and more distant to the point that she breaks up with me....

Can somebody please give me some advice?
>>
William Sassleridge - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 03:03:29 EST pkgNOW9c No.530863 Reply
>>530862
I got the same feelings, man. Although i feel that i love her only when we have a quarrel
>>
Oliver Pazzlestone - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:15:13 EST ZdiUXRvP No.530869 Reply
>>530862
Maybe treat your depression? I mean I know that's stupidly obvious but you've not really said why you haven't tried that approach. Get therapy, see a doctor. Look at your life, maybe it sucks aside from her, maybe your brain chemistry is broken maybe you have just developed some sort of stupid way of processing stuff maybe it's a mix of some or all.

What does making the one good thing worse do? You know it does nothing. It's just effort. But if you don't effort everything will suck forever.
>>
Barnaby Sangerlutch - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:21:40 EST ZyAKcTrV No.530871 Reply
>>530862
Look at what your goals are and see if you're working to achieve them or if your life is being helf back by self-defeating behaviors? Talk to a behaviorist.

I love you all

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 19:10:49 EST 5hiGIQ1X No.530811
File: 1565046649907.jpg -(198544B / 193.89KB, 500x821) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I love you all
I love you
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:59:01 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530855 Reply
1565197141240.jpg -(12499B / 12.21KB, 183x275) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>530834
third-ed

they say you can't love another before you love yourself but that's bullshit, what we got is this love built on 0 foundation and it crumbles and shakes and sub-cedes and we live in it, terrified it will collapse, but if your partner doesn't hate themself that can be a scaffolding to try to compensate but it's hard for them when all the love is just hanging off their scaffolding waaaaaaaaaa
>>
Cornelius Chaggleput - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 17:47:08 EST FkOylYSb No.530881 Reply
>>530855
yeah if I had to wait to love myself before I loved another uhhhh
forever a spider monkey's butt.jpg

purging/starving/drugs

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 31 Jul 2019 22:42:18 EST Je9nm5wp No.530711
File: 1564627338301.png -(1022116B / 998.16KB, 907x788) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. purging/starving/drugs
anyone else have an ED? For the past few weeks I've been doing this cut, like 500 calories a day or less, and then just now I drank for the first time then I binged on like 3000~ calories worth of food then purged it all then chugged another bottle of wine and ate 75mg of ephedrine. I've been on Wellbutrin which helps with appetite which allowed me to cut for so long, I've lost a little over 30 pounds in less than a month, I've lost 70 pounds since january, but I'm terrified I'm going to binge like this again, I'm adding ephedrine to my daily regiment, I try to cycle 30-90 minutes a day, but it's never enough, I want to cut myself open, I can't deal with being this grotesque, I'd rather my heart blow up from stimulant/diet pill abuse than keep going on as disgustingly hideously atrociously fat as I am, I'm so fucking scared to eat, it's easy not to eat at all than eat a little bit, once I start eating it's so hard to stop I'd rather not at all, I've been slipping, I need to eat a little bit so my metabolism doesn't slow to a halt but at the same time I feel like fasting until I'm thinner, I genuinely don't care if I live or die I just don't want to be this way anymore

I remember reading about this diet drug that was banned, helps with weight loss but has a tendency to cook you from the inside out, can't remember what it is for the life of me, anyone know? I don't care what it does to me on the inside as long as it fixes me on the outside. What drugs work better than ephedrine? I can get my hands on almost anything. Fenphen? Meth? I really don't fucking care.
25 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Jarvis Fanson - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 05:34:01 EST Uy/1xd7+ No.530843 Reply
>>530711
OP not sure what country you're in but look up PGX Daily.

They are capsules you take with a lot of water/small meals and they swell and fill your stomach. You feel full basically forever. I can't successfully cut without them, they really kill the hungry feeling. It's recommended you only take 3 per meal but I found you can go up to five, you just shit more.
>>
Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:28:25 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530852 Reply
Choose between therapy and heart failure
>>
Barnaby Cliffingpot - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 08:46:57 EST UZV2PD9H No.530911 Reply
>>530852
Ehhh but only one of those choices is free and actually serves a purpose.

What's it called when

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 06 Aug 2019 12:01:39 EST hiKxQg3e No.530817
File: 1565107299885.gif -(258693B / 252.63KB, 550x413) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What's it called when
people claim to be innocent after trying to harm you? For example, when I was a child, there was a kid in my 3rd grade class who would suckerpunch people when they were alone together and then claim he was being bullied. In adulthood, this takes on a grander form, mostly in a manner consistent with "I will blackmail and threaten you" which turns into "Stop blackmailing and threatening me" when I fight back.

Is there a name for this beyond just being a duplicitous asshole in general?
12 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fuck Hillerford - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 11:34:03 EST waF8qrlt No.530847 Reply
Nothing else can explain the obsessive, covert directed psychological bullying either. nb.
>>
Henry Fobbersin - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 11:46:59 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530848 Reply
>>530842
I gave you a nice reply defending you and you're calling me triggered?

PLEASE READ

Locked View Thread Reply
- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 11:05:02 EST Mj4HFvaU No.530799
File: 1565017502603.jpg -(81398B / 79.49KB, 800x533) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. PLEASE READ
Listen very carefully here. Combining psychedelics like LSD, magic mushrooms and mescaline with cannabis smoking, in high doses while being alone, induces shamanism for the user and not a drugged state. During this shamanic mental experience the user is cured from evil insanity like anger, sadness, fear, homosexuality, not understanding that masturbation damages your subconscious feelings, and ignorance. The law seems to lie that those are drug experiences like caffeine and heroin are, resulting in mentally ill people that come into conflict with each other.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Matilda Bronnerham - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 16:57:21 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530829 Reply
>getting so butthurt your shitty thread got locked on /sd/ you shit it out on /qq/ instead
Enjoy the ban retard
>>
Matilda Bronnerham - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 16:58:24 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530830 Reply
OP posted this shit on /sd/ too, friendly reminder to report instead of engaging

disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 31 Jul 2019 00:08:01 EST NrPFGDzD No.530696
File: 1564546081676.jpg -(23818B / 23.26KB, 256x182) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter
> bunk bed in a single big room full of 30 or so homeless people
> no phone use permitted
> no talking
> everyone farting, coughing, sneezing, etc. all night
> complete disregard of all manners or class
> everyone is either mentally ill or an old drunk
> staff are cool, but get mean since these people fucking suck
> again, constant showings of unhealthy living by everyone in the room
> dirty looks from bitter old people for even pretending to be happy about my life
I am so lost right now.

Trying to do better than my best every single day. I just moved back where I spent all my schoolyears from across the country after a two year leave. Haven’t found stability since returning just yet. Kind of wanted a tasted of the struggle, this is just unbelievable.

I have friends who told me to come back and things would be easier with all of them, but nobody stayed in touch like they said. Cant blame anyone but myself you know.

One friend does, though, who lent me a bike, another lent me a backpack since I lent him thousands of dollars before I moved. People in my life still give a shit. I have people here assuming I work here not stay here. I get mistaken as an employee or official who knows what’s going on in places I have no affiliations.

I know this is not where I am meant to be
and I know I have more potential than this
I got here because I aimed to and now I aim to get out.
I can do this. It’s just so hard. I use earbuds to block most of this out

I dont wanna go to girls in my life like this, I dont wanna go to anybody like this, and even if I did I still haven’t yet landed a stable job. I start my next one tomorrow at friendly’s, another interview for stocking Aug. 2nd and can land interviews like Im walking a dog.

I just cant seem to make people stop hating me so much because I am young and stupid and in my mid 20s looking like I think I know it all, but I cant help it I need to be confident in myself during this. I walk into the TV room here and its like Ares the God Of War just walked in, drawing the worst out of people without a word. Some people approach me for healing and guidance, like they’re so delighted to hear from me or be in my presence and yet others are infuriated and wanna break me down.

I dont know why I wrote this. Thats all for now.
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Edwin Grimhall - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:19:11 EST yUhAjzvV No.530797 Reply
Sounds like you're taking your self and your abilities too seriously man. I'm basically the same way at work with wanting to be the best, but I rarely compare myself to anybody else on the line at the factory I work in (usually because I'm clearly better if for no other fact that I care enough to do my job quickly and correctly all night long (work 11 hour night shifts). Since the attrition rate at this place is retarded, the fact I've been here and regularly do multiple different jobs a night I've had more time to actually get that good skill wise on top of having motivation. Honestly, there's no point in comparing myself with anybody on the line unless I'm after self-aggrandizement or am doing it to try rationalizing to myself I should be mad at the others for not working as hard as me.

I find both of those reasons are retarded. The need to self-aggrandize, especially in public, isn't a show of confidence, it's a show of insecurity. I really don't care how good I am for any other reason than I feel like doing less than that is unacceptable. It's pathetic weak entitled bullshit unless you happen to be legitimately sick or have some kind of injury.'

Now, tbe second reason for comparing myself for others is just to come up with an excuse for why I can be mad at others that has a legitimate sounding reason behind it. I find this it the more pathetic and slimy of the two, because it's inherently self-aggrandizing, promotes being a condescending fuck wit nobody is going to like (and for good reason), and on top of that you're so uncomfortable in your own skin and how you actually feel that in order to express your anger for others you have to come up with some gay ass pretext do it with---which again shows insecurity because a fear that others won't validate your feelings on their own merit so you come up with a bullshit one they really can't argue with,

Overall, I think comparing yourself to others, except in very specific situations where you find somebody has come along you're actually able to learn something from and now you need to master that too, is a behavior that signifies arrogance more often than confidence.

Now, considering I'm pretty confident with my work performance and everything, I don't view or treat others condescendingly based solely on how or work ethics and abilities stack up with one another, and I don't go around acting super great and soaking it up when people ask about how to do something. I mean, like I said, people quit so often here that being here for 2 years just means I've been around enough that I can probably answer questions they have. It doesn't mean they're looking up to me or some weird power fantasy fanfic shit you wrote there at the end.

Lastly, most important to note, everybody I know of at work likes me, and I'm pretty confident in my abilities. Why do you think you're hated by half of the people? There's a guy on my line who's okay but thinks he's better than he is and he gets mad at others' problems a lot, and people go around calling him an arrogant fuck because he's kinda being one. Usually if I can help people I do, because I feel like I'm good enough and been there long enough that if I didn't help, I'd be a fucking shit bag.

So in other words, despite being totally confident in my work ethic and ability to perform, I help people out all the time when it's possible and nobody would otherwise expect me to and I literally can't think of the last time I've spoken aloud about how good I am at a job I do on the line that didn't involve training a new hire and assuring them that the job they got is pretty easy in a few days while giving a few comparisons to other jobs that suck even when you;re good or fast at them. In other words, I can't think of a single time I've ever bragged.

Given your OP, I'm going to guess you're probably known to either brag a lot of the time or shit on others you deem as being below you because they aren't as good as you... which really just translates to getting away with doing less work for the same amount of pay and at the end of the day and especially outside of work nobody gives shit about anything that happens there. Your problem seems to be you literally see a lot of people as being below you, making you arrogant rather than confident. Check it out man, this…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:10:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530802 Reply
>>530796
There is a term for what you are doing, and it's not a good one. Some call it slumming. Others call it punching down. Whatever the term that may be applied, there is a clear implication. You are not on a path of enlightenment or character-building. Rather, you are attempting to convince yourself of your character by putting yourself in positions where you know in the back of your mind that you're ahead of the curve. This is not building character, but punching down. You're reinforcing your preconceptions and prejudices whether consciously or unconsciously, and it's certainly not opening up your mind or your heart. If I was entirely wrong, then you would not show the slightest bit of defensiveness. However, you are. You're unsure, you're unsteady, and you're lacking self-esteem. I believe that confidence that is entirely fabricated on flimsy pretenses is destined to crumble, and you will buckle under the pressure of hard life decisions as you have time and time again.
>>
Molly Hushson - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 17:51:17 EST SLZ94LIZ No.530810 Reply
>>530796
I'm not you, but for what it's worth I did something quite like this, too. Moved across the country, took up a shitty job. I wasn't cut out for it. I wasn't of the same social standing as my coworkers. I'm still figuring life out, but there's no reason to aim low.

Online Life Mixing With Real Life?

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 18:58:00 EST FO3wrxBb No.530689
File: 1564527480472.jpg -(12302B / 12.01KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Online Life Mixing With Real Life?
I've been trying dating/hookup apps like Tinder and Bumble this summer. I haven't had much come of it except that I've been running across girls from school/work from time to time.

The school is a fairly competitive grad school. Nothing too harsh but definitely not a place where everyone is best friends.

Initially, I haven't thought much of it, but I'm wondering if a few of them have noticed. One definitely did notice after we matched, and was pretty chill about it, while another from school seemed more negative about it in general. I also met one of my matches through a co-worker and didn't realize it until the month after.

I'm taking a break from all that as I go back to grad school, but I'm wondering if I've changed some girls' impression of me just by being on those apps, or if there might be any repercussions or opportunities that might flow from it. I'll probably just go on with my life as usual unless something comes up.

Any thoughts on what to expect, or on similar experiences?
18 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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George Buzzfield - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:02:07 EST Lny7/LNo No.530807 Reply
>>530803
So how's your relationship lately? Any recent fights? You freaking Hallmark card reject.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:17:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530808 Reply
>>530807
Whoever you're hoping to talk to through me, you're inevitably going to get disappointed by. The truth is that whoever you're talking to isn't even thinking about you, and that I bothered to even reply to you.
>>
Fanny Dartbury - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 08:09:15 EST 2CPjhMYX No.530844 Reply
>>530803
>>530807
You're both retards

>>530803
You know that business can make profit and still provide benefit right? The pizza place makes money when they sell me a slice but i still benefit for having pizza. Those apps can exist both for shareholders and sexual deviants.

>>530807
dont get so mad bro

>>530801
I get what your saving here tho. It is nice to have a stoner girl, but its also fucking hard to get a stoner girl. My experience of modern gals is that they can be annoying, self centered huge cunts.

Also this guy already finished this thread.

>>530690

How to break it off with girls I sleep with?

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 04:42:44 EST meKKp2Ju No.530794
File: 1564994564603.png -(247592B / 241.79KB, 487x447) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How to break it off with girls I sleep with?
So, over the past few months I've been nasty as fuck and have been using tinder and bumble regularly to pick up women. As of now there are 3 girls I see on a weekly basis and they all think they're the only one. I told them Im not really trying to be in a relationship but all of them keep trying to push that on me.

The other day I met a very very attractive girl who messaged me through facebook. Talked with her on the phone a bit, she's hispanic like me, she has the exact same political views, same religious views, same moral views, and her sense of humor is amazing and she's an RN that's in school to become an ARNP. I say I'm a christian but don't really practice Christianity but she's a very devout christian who goes weekly to church. Needless to say I see her as a girl who I can actually have a future with who isn't a total skank and is actually a decent person. I admitted to her that I was talking to other people and that I'd promptly end it with them and she admitted she was talking to someone too and would also end it because we both appear to really like eachother and want to work towards having a relationship together.

My problem basically is that I'm too concerned with hurting people's feelings. I know ending contact with them and telling them why is going to definitely hurt some feelings and cause me to experience some backlash.

How should I go about this? I know this is dumb but I'm not good at stuff like this.
>>
Esther Buzzstock - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 09:08:39 EST lO2GsrM3 No.530795 Reply
>>530794
honesty cannot fail you

tell the truth no sugarcoating
times like this a man has to be stern

trust your self and let the truth defend itself. Speak it, let them be, validate whatever they respond with kindly and break it off.
>>
Matilda Hingerdale - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:50:07 EST A8m11hb5 No.530798 Reply
>>530794
I think that you've got to try to have as much sex as you can with all of them and live your 30s in a cloud of regret.

How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 09:13:02 EST c/uAObnR No.530669
File: 1564492382134.jpg -(110208B / 107.62KB, 960x682) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
So, I had a shit past long story short. I suppose I still feel bad for myself and can't quit my self pity.

I always used to get angry that only the popular and attractive are afforded these luxuries. I'd say I was borderline pimp mentality without the virginity. I didn't understand. I was always pushing to do the right thing by securing an income, earning an education, planning a future, and trying to find my way to serve society. I was always angry nobody wanted anything to do with me, and yet chad down at the gas station, slinging crack, just gets to have 4 kids he'll never want anything to do with.
I realize now that this is a shitty way to feel, and perceive things. While I kind of meant it as a "how long do I need to suffer" feeling, it became more of a "I'm entitled" post.
Nobody is entitled to anything, not even life. People are born to suffer and die early deaths from a number of diseases and conditions. I should be grateful and content that I breathe, think, and speak. I deserve nothing else.
I know this... Logically... But I don't truly feel this way.

I get crushed thinking about all my missed opportunities, a childhood I will never get to have, a mentor to learn from, long time friends, missed chances in relationships. However I can't find myself feeling grateful. I mean, I know I should be grateful, but I can't inherently feel grateful for simply breathing and being able to think (let alone an able body).

Has anyone struggled with similar dilemmas?


Pic semi-related. Kind of how I view the state of my mind and feelings, and looking to enter Chad training for believing what I know.
13 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Jarvis Duckwater - Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:23:21 EST NmYXrgWM No.530749 Reply
>>530741
You're not impressing anyone with your lack of knowledge of popular culture.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Sun, 04 Aug 2019 23:22:04 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530785 Reply
>>530669
>How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
Through action.
All of those things are things that you have to earn.
You can start by building a foundation of trust. If you are hurting people in your life or anonymous strangers on the internet, stop it immediately.
Don't obsess about why you do it; simply stop doing it.
You will have the rest of your life to understand why you think and act the way you do long after you've wrecked your life by continuing to do it.

There is a reason you are not yet your grateful for your thoughts and behaviors. Change those, and you will become grateful.
It's very simple.

Don't know anymore

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 11 Dec 2018 22:07:44 EST PMiKxfAC No.528082
File: 1544584064372.jpg -(195936B / 191.34KB, 752x1334) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Don't know anymore
I honestly feel like my heart has turned into ice and it's hard as stone. I have no love for anyone anymore because I feel so disconnected from reality and people. My life has been nothing but a black hell I've been trapped in since I was born. Nothing good has come out of anything I've tried to do for myself to improve upon my life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I become darker and darker as time passes. I don't love my own mother anymore even. I was physically abused for years until I had a nervous breakdown at 16yrs old and was diagnosed with full blown schizophrenia and depression. Things have just gotten worse for me over the years since then. I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from what the abuse did to my heart and mind. I feel so lonely and unwanted. Sometimes I wish I was never born and my mom did have a miscarriage with me like she almost did when she was pregnant with me. Why the fuck am I even here?

You guys are the only people I talk to period since I have no friends. You people are the only ones who I feel I can relate to. Other than that, I have nothing left in my heart except for darkness and hatred. I cant do anything to fix this. I've tried getting help and nothing seems to work.

Can someone help me?
70 posts and 15 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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John Crimbleham - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 06:40:00 EST ZdyXyUcS No.530700 Reply
>>530695
Yup, never understood why adults think it's okay for children to routinely fistfight.
>>
Edward Brurrypadge - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 19:54:40 EST pc71HAo0 No.530732 Reply
>>530680
I feel the same way you feel. He hasn't changed and has turned into even more of a selfish prick. I'm sick and tired of trying to salvage this fucked relationship. Theirs just too much water under the bridge and I'm washing my hands of this fat fucking bald douchebag. Hes not worth my time nor energy. One minute hes decent then the next minute he cops an attitude. I've tried so hard to have a relationship with him despite what he put me through back then. But, like they say "a tiger never loses its stripes". I'm finished and taking out the trash (him in those terms) and I'm going to go about my own life and anything that I do without him being in the picture. He use to intimidate me. But, I'm not going to let him do that to me anymore. Fuck this piece of shit.
>>
Lillian Heshsere - Fri, 02 Aug 2019 01:35:44 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530735 Reply
1564724144150.jpg -(36457B / 35.60KB, 355x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
hAVE YOU TRIED mAKEN-kI?

Abuse and Neglect

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- Sun, 28 Jul 2019 17:45:35 EST DLJORGeq No.530649
File: 1564350335001.jpg -(14334B / 14.00KB, 525x258) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Abuse and Neglect
Anyone else neglected or abused? My dad menaced me and put his hands on me, used to pin me up against the wall up in the air at his eye level. He kept the house like a hoarder house, and he defended it like that. It's not like people didn't know either, family and occasionally friends saw how I lived and nobody said anything. He was so constantly drunk and high he couldn't keep a job and never filed taxed. I normalized a lot of behaviors I shouldn't have.
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Sidney Buzzlelock - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 07:31:50 EST UelVVgpu No.530715 Reply
1564659110352.jpg -(31422B / 30.69KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Dad
>primary caretaker from birth
>choked my 14-year-old sister unconscious in front of me
>called me pathetic, sniveling, an embarrassment etc if I cried over a sprained ankle or a dead animal
>beat my mom and tried to rape her with me in the house
>abandoned the family when I was 10 despite having raised me, then never called or checked in even on birthdays

Mom
>told me it was okay to let me date/sleep over with an adult as a preteen because she "didn't think he'd make a move right away"
>swings between berating me and threatening me with being put away and saying I'm the only thing that makes her life worthwhile
>still tracking me on GPS at age 23--one time I let it slip for a few hours and she drove to my house several counties away and broke in
>has told me she thinks about her kids when she has sex

just as some examples of the cray cray (there's a lot more, and other abuse--molestation, bullying, medical). I wouldn't have said I was abused until a few years ago though (I'm now 28), speaking of normalizing.

I grew up into a bit of a mess--autoimmune problems (from stress probably), severe PTSD, covered in scars, dated violent people, drug problems, psych hospitalized a lot, chronically suicidal, permanently dissociated, memory problems. I'm crawling out of it now though, so I think it's possible. Haven't talked to my mom in three years (she doesn't even know what city I live in), going to try to work, managing my own affairs.
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Frederick Greenham - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:21:20 EST vFDzrbdS No.530717 Reply
>>530715
In the first days of going online before the web started, every kid had a story like this. It was what brought everyone together.

Born as a disabled aspie

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- Fri, 19 Jul 2019 01:37:36 EST HhJE3hc8 No.530513
File: 1563514656661.jpg -(141840B / 138.52KB, 750x1017) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Born as a disabled aspie
I am tired sometimes I am not suicidal or homocidal just wish I was born normal.
Sucks to have people look down on you like a piece of poop.
But thats them brakes eh? I just feel down. I attempt to eat healthy and try to stay active. I am not a musclebro but sort of a beefcake. I just cant totally relate to this new generation. Always feel akward even when participating in discussions of topics. Sometimes i think i could just be insane i did seek mental health and they just wanted me to keep taking benzos. Sure the benzos make me forget i am anaspie and i feel like a normal person for 4 hours but its just a crutch. I manage to fight my high anxoety off but still get bouts of it strong as hell.
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Nicholas Handlelock - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 20:05:11 EST loFqoohq No.530707 Reply
>>530652
Bro I paid for a specially made night guard but since my teeth only touch on the back four teeth it creates way too much pressure on them and basically felt like I was gunna break my teeth from the level of pain I felt after trying to wear it for a couple nights.

Read up that they aren't an effective treatment option if your teeth aren't all sharing the load of the bite evenly.

Ive tried just about everything they have thrown at me.

I also have read that botox injections help with reversing overdeveloped masseter muscles due to bruxism. Since they are being overworked they get so strong and buff that the only way for them to "weaken" or go back to normal is to basically freeze your ability to move them. Little by little muscle atrophy will return your muscles back to their original shape.

Botox is some str8 poison though so be careful wit that shi..

And yeah man being instantly judged and categorized as scum is total bullshit but i've learned to see peoples reactions towards me as a reflection into their soul not as a reflection of my own worth. Its taken a long time and a lot of self hate and depression to get over but it's taught me a big lesson.

Some people are so fucking petty that's enough to classify you as subhuman. And that's just a reflection of their lack of humanity and the darkness and vanity that lies within their soul.


One thing a certain anon told me years ago that has given me a lot of strength was...

Well you may be 20 yrs old (at that time) and this may seem like a tragic event or even the end of the world (end of my dreams of having a family, happy normal life they sell us) but it's only the end of "this one possible world you coulda lived". In 5 or ten years your problems will be minimized you will be in a better position. and time is the great equalizer... eventually everyone will end up with fucked up teeth, fake teeth, crowns, implants, dentures, etc. Your just running a few miles ahead of the pack and falling into pitfalls that that they have no idea what its like or how to get out of.
\

BUT EVENTUALLY they will be there.. they will suffer.. and even if they don't remember you and how they taunted you... were all human and we have the same problems.

Thats a bad paraphrase but basically in 10-20 yrs it will be meaningless.
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Phyllis Dondlekodge - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 22:01:55 EST jnas4L6T No.530710 Reply
>>530653

yeah inject neurotoxic poison into the muscles you use to chew, should be gravy
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Jarvis Horringcheck - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 23:06:10 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530713 Reply
>>530710
>>530707
The dose makes the poison, fuckwads. You're on a drug board, you should at least understand that.

Gaslighting?

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- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 06:08:36 EST DoK4cjeL No.530665
File: 1564481316561.jpg -(17628B / 17.21KB, 415x738) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Gaslighting?
I think my partner may be gaslighting me. When I speak to him about issues he always tells me that I am just being insecure and offers no real advice. I know I have some minor issues with anxiety but he applies it to every day issues that are not to do with my self worth. What do I do about it? We have been together for many years and have a family together.
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Basil Chunningchedge - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 08:19:27 EST 74/lHxSF No.530666 Reply
What are your issues?

Also, don't make your partner your only source of intimacy. It's a conflict of interest sometimes.
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Betsy Clonningson - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 18:19:50 EST ka63e54W No.530686 Reply
>>530665
hello, i believe i had enough experience to have a good answer for this.
i think first you should view relationships as an organism. both parties constitute parts of the whole, and what specifically comes to exist between them is made responsible by both parties, and what it is that each, as parts of the whole, are. certain parts will make certain outcomes inevitable. think, specific kinds of people attract or invite specific kinds of attention. maybe search on the internet what "narcissistic personality disorder" is, and what kinds of people these npds are attracted to. you might be surprised that you fit some descriptions. in my opinion these things are not to be taken too literally, but i think that intelligent people have written enough on these very real issues to get some value out of them. basically, if people are "codependent," then that means that the totality of what is created is sick in some way.
i think nothing i say makes any difference if you just don't already get it, people need to experience what it is in life that is sick and depraved, in order to throw it off and seek out the true and the healthy, and this must be in order to actually be healthy, they need other people to show them how to live. otherwise people then to make a bad deal, because the mechanisms of society are predicated on the beliefs of mediocre minds and exploitative people. i think there is a very real existence to the case of there being a lack of free will. the initial relationships in life tend to be what sets the outcome, more or less, for what sort of person results. i think the disposition is largely set from the things that are settled on after the course of this has run itself. people can change, but do they? mostly no.
anyway, a short anecdote to end this. when i was 18 i had this dumb idiot ldr with this girl who wasn't worth it. but then i realized that she was like my mom, and that, things as they are currently, i could see the writing on the wall that this was toxic, mutual parasitism, and it was a bad, desperate deal that i was set to make. more context is i had been waiting to commit suicide practically when i became sentient. anyway the writing told me that this relationship was going to be, in maturity, something that almost exactly, in the essential principles or essence, resembled the relationship between my mother and father. things repeat themselves in scary ways. mostly people are unconscious of this, or if they do see it then they probably deal with it poorly, which is to say that destiny is often met on the road one takes to avoid it. anyway, on a particularly dark night i decided that i would rather die starving in the desert than live that, but the funny thing is that after doing what was necessary i got way stronger than i could ever have hoped..

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