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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

This is ridiculous

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- Tue, 17 Sep 2019 14:33:32 EST 2FwxRe6Q No.531781
File: 1568745212660.jpg -(430686B / 420.59KB, 1200x675) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. This is ridiculous
I have never felt more aspie (spoiler, I'm not)
So I have this coworker who I thought was pretty cool and we live really close by. I was transferred to another department but him and i recently got a beer after like.. maybe 16 months? He was still fun to chill with. So I reached out again this week to make plans, because we tentatively had summer plans but neither of us followed through.

I'm fucking 30. ThIRTY. I do actually have other friends, believe it or not. I'm even married. To a woman. So no, I don't like him that way. I do admit I can be socially awkward... But it's pretty low level.

But for some reason with this it's like.. Wtf now, what do I suggest we go do? Why am I stressing so hard about not coming off like a total weirdo. And I have no idea what to do? Jesus, someone weigh in on this nonsense. Or maybe just suggest a good bro thing to do that isn't drinks and sports. Fucking lol.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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William Clayfuck - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 10:44:08 EST F0Y+LBoU No.531808 Reply
>>531799
Seconding this but try and make it something you do as a team, together against something else - not vs. eachother.

And some alcohol is always a good idea. And nothing where you're forced to stare at eachother haha. Best to be side by side where you can occasionally check in but no crazy forced intimacy.
>>
Esther Blottinglot - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 07:40:46 EST jnas4L6T No.531824 Reply
go climb a rock wall
>>
Simon Crozzleforth - Mon, 30 Sep 2019 16:46:11 EST JCATCBbz No.531928 Reply
>>531781
OP how about an update? I'd like to hear how things are going.

Loving someone who doesn't love themselves

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 21 Sep 2019 00:41:31 EST wIKq1PyM No.531834
File: 1569040891896.jpg -(17055B / 16.66KB, 443x515) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Loving someone who doesn't love themselves
It's so straining. I love her and she treats me so great but when the lows are low they are lowwww. I know it's worth it but sometimes I feel so tired and emotionally suckered. She gives me that good feeling inside that you know is pure and I know she's faithful so there's nothing wrong but we both have very bad depression and we are both attentive to each others needs in every way. Sometimes though when the stars align or fall out or some shit she runs out of her meds and starts her period. I am happy I just need to vent because today was long and I haven't been able to talk it out with anyone not even really her as she was tired and sad after work.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Priscilla Pugglebark - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 13:20:48 EST Fw0/aDJ4 No.531841 Reply
>>531834
What do you do to take care of yourself?

You should have a big long list of things
it should be written, because when we feel like shit we find it hard to remember what makes us feel better, then we pick up the book with the list in it and look at the list and go "oh yeah, music! music exists!" or whatever the thing is
anyone who takes care of someone else needs to know how to take care of themselves, otherwise they will be shit at taking care of anyone
>>
Polly Boggleham - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 00:00:51 EST wIKq1PyM No.531866 Reply
>>531841
Im very bad at self care, I just smoke a lot of pot and go with everything in my life. Im grateful for all of it, I have a good job, a beautiful wonderful woman, no serious debt. I'm doing alright for myself even if im broke as fuck taking care of us both. I feel happy but every once in a while I get sent into a pretty bad depressive state and its hard to shake without her help. We're both aware of, but dont acknowledge much, the codependent nature of our relationship. I want to marry her someday because there is no one else that I can flow with and "get" and the same is true with her. We're so compatible but both of our mental health conditions arent the most stable and that sometimes leads to short little bursts of fighting which becomes resolved and goes right back to the normal extremely loving relationship we do have.
>>
Betsy Benderbury - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 13:21:15 EST wIKq1PyM No.531899 Reply
1569604875738.jpg -(94143B / 91.94KB, 499x488) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
DICKS EVERYWHERE

Mental Health

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- Thu, 26 Sep 2019 10:07:47 EST MMP3J5AH No.531885
File: 1569506867172.png -(364B / 364bytes, 150x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Mental Health
If the voices in your head suggest self harm, then you're better off not being schizophrenic.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Ernest Hickleserk - Thu, 26 Sep 2019 23:35:09 EST ELFJ/DE/ No.531895 Reply
tell me about these voices anon. they are telling you something about ur life (like symbolism in dreams)
>>
Priscilla Cresslechetch - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 09:54:01 EST JCATCBbz No.531897 Reply
>>531885
Watch nothing but happy, up-beat cartoons untill the voices have no citations to source from.
>>
Simon Nurrynune - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 11:17:48 EST EoOfVVNJ No.531898 Reply
>>531897
Fuck that watch one of those Japanese ones that makes kids kill.

Jerked off to CP once - feels bad man, what now?

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- Thu, 26 Sep 2019 15:05:24 EST Y7ZWXY5S No.531891
File: 1569524724379.png -(1099000B / 1.05MB, 1919x1023) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Jerked off to CP once - feels bad man, what now?
Rewind 1 year ago

I download a nondescript link while on the porn boards here. The attached image and file size gave me the impression it would be an amateur compilation of teens n twenties, usual shit.

Opened it, examined it. Multiple sets of definitely 9-13 year olds sucking adult dicks or self-shots. I didn't like the CP - low quality, blatant abuse images of bodies too young for me. I think there was a "fuck it" moment though - I wasn't going to find this again. In all my time on the internet, I'd never seen anything remotely like this. Not what I was after, but I was bored of searching for porn.

I jerked off to it, deleted it off my PC, reported it here and then got on with my day.

Nothing about my consumption historically was pedo-esq. My porn collection was small <5GB, but I was a bit obsessive about the pursuit of curating files for it. The content was typically 18-30, emo, bbw, chubby, big tits, outdoors, fisting, homemade etc all sourced from overground websites like pornhub, xhamster, motherless etc. I had a few fantasy's about fucking 15 year olds in my local park, but it was really just reliving my own memories vicariously. Zero interest in actually doing that and I've never been happier in my current relationship.

I feel like I betrayed myself. For one naive moment, I had some sort of "what happens in vegas" feeling and just went way off script. I don't feel like a pedo, I've watched videos where they talk about their feelings towards kids and it's not how I feel. However, since this incident, a guilt is now present. A hesitation to interact and a fear of being inappropriate. I only look at eye level, I ignore children in my peripheral if I don't know them etc.

Society gets as far as punishment, but never really figures out what to actually do about the bad guy, beyond hating them. People are generally seen as "no bueno" if they play with the fire that I have. I've had a lot of guilt on my mind and my hands felt stained with blood that I can't wash off. I've tried my best to simply honour the mistake, by not repeating it and also changing myself for the better. I don't watch porn anymore, although that took a while to happen. My perspective changed on porn. I realised how desensitized I had became, that this blatant abuse became mere entertainment for me.

I don't believe in burdening people IRL with my dark, fucked up moment. I've kept it to myself. I'd really like to get this off chest.

>Can I be redeemed?
>Should I even feel guilty a year later?
>What should I do about it?
>Can you fuck up, learn from it and actually be better afterwards?

I am sorry if this broke rules of this board.

fked up

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- Thu, 26 Sep 2019 08:04:32 EST ELFJ/DE/ No.531881
File: 1569499472554.jpg -(1401866B / 1.34MB, 1840x3264) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. fked up
was alone feeling bit down last night and just bought a bottle of 55% chinese grain alcohol. well I downed shot after shot and ended up throwing up all over my bed and floor, then proceeded to sleep in my own vomit for a night. i just woke up an realise that something is fked up with me, i shouldnt drink like that especially alone. I got no close friends to share this with so im posting here. Now i got to clean up this pile of sloppy vomit and get on with my day. Im so alone guys and hear a voice telling my to die everyday.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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George Hopperstone - Thu, 26 Sep 2019 11:46:58 EST n2REH4VM No.531886 Reply
1569512818723.jpg -(359316B / 350.89KB, 1440x1425) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>531884
Thank you anon. I really mean it, really thank you. It renewed my hope gave me a new perspective to see things. Thank you for your detailed response.
>>
Charlotte Denderset - Thu, 26 Sep 2019 12:59:46 EST vCPwibdy No.531887 Reply
>>531881
WAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAA EMBRACE your destruction! The alcohol delivered you where you wanted it to take you, hmmm?? Lmaoooo smoke that weedle-dee-deed, by doodly drizzle!
>>
Charlotte Denderset - Thu, 26 Sep 2019 13:00:36 EST vCPwibdy No.531888 Reply
>>531884
Yeah also this and had I quit drinking then, my life would have improved immeasurably.

In a rut that supports this subpar form my body is in

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- Sat, 21 Sep 2019 20:23:15 EST fw27LVwD No.531845
File: 1569111795369.jpg -(7091B / 6.92KB, 284x177) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. In a rut that supports this subpar form my body is in
I'm in a rut where I've isolated myself due to being obese. I just think it's bad of me to present myself in this subhuman form to the world. I rarely go out and if I do its during the early early mornings or the graveyard hours.

My environment isn't a big help either, they would feed me loads of fast food if they could. I've realized this and I plant to move out . On employment I work under the table for a relative but he doesn't want to pay me my cut. It's very frustrating because they know of my dilemma but they still choose to not pay me my dues.

I know this rut is a negative and I would like to get out of it. My plan is to move to a nearby big city, work a low job and improve myself until I am comfortable enough to present myself and start advancing. Does this sound like a good plan?
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hamilton Crenkinhon - Sun, 22 Sep 2019 11:56:53 EST tR57carO No.531852 Reply
>>531845
Eat a piece of bread with peanut butter and no other food every day for a month and come back.
>>
Phineas Hambledut - Sun, 22 Sep 2019 14:04:01 EST TTO+qi10 No.531855 Reply
You want to improve your health and appearance. Do so. Don't let that part of your goal hinge on other things in your life.

People generally don't just completely flip their life upside down all at once. For example, when you move you have all the added stress of being outside your norm so you're going to be looking to old comforts (fast food, computer, TV, etc) to help you alleviate that stress.

Moving and changing jobs is a BIG change and will require a lot of preparation and time. You should absolutely build to that if that is what you hope to do. But, in the meantime if you're only going out late in the night or in the early mornings anyway, use that time to start exercising. Walk more than you are used to, maybe even jog for a few minutes.

Challenge yourself, set goals and surpass them.

I also agree with
>>531849
>>
Asap97 - Thu, 26 Sep 2019 07:21:20 EST mx986IvR No.531880 Reply
1569496880703.jpg -(78747B / 76.90KB, 595x842) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>531845

have a sandwich in the morning, just PB&J something simple.

go on youtube and look at fitness with no equipment, hell start with "sit and be fit"

at first you're going to feel tired, retarded, embarassed even.

just remember flapping your arms like a chicken for about an hour a day will actually improve your current stats.

think about it this way:

You're an incredibly complicated meat-battery.
Fat in its most common form turns into oil when heated right? (sizzle bacon)
by working out and moving, you're generating heat.

basically you can become shredded ripped god and all you have to do is overcome the mental issue.

I figure at first start with a morning stretches and basic routine and then gradually work it until you're figuratively a cheese grater.


Remember: You have the complete sum of public human knowledge available to you on a glass slab, and here you are wasting it on monkeyshit when you could be studying and ripped.

APPLY YOURSELF

also don't do meth.

Therapy

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- Thu, 29 Aug 2019 16:51:03 EST Sjfg2Tup No.531387
File: 1567111863544.png -(366355B / 357.77KB, 1320x881) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Therapy
My therapist has the exact same table. Fucking weird.

Had a session today with some very, very difficult topics and now that the session is over, my mind is trying to.. explain reality away again. IE my therapist was like, "Face the shit you've been lying to yourself (and others) about" and in session I DID, and it was HARD, and it really shook me because I did have to face the fact that I had lied to myself for so long I believed it, now I have to make some hard choices.

But now session's over and my brain is like... "Haha J/K you can stuff all that shit right back in your lockbox and forget about it forever and keep on the way you were without ever changing because change is scary and uncomfortable and this is safe!"

AND THAT ISN'T HELPFUL/HEALTHY.

I know what's going on, I know it's an old coping mechanism that I do (did?) with painful subjects, but how the fuck do I leave a session and take the lessons and reality check with me, and not let old habits override what could be actual personal growth and healing?? Has anyone else experienced this or am I just that messed up?

also one hour sessions are nowhere near long enough when you're dealing with heavy topics, why can't you opt to pay for 2 hours or something so you don't have to cut things short
19 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hannah Duckwell - Wed, 25 Sep 2019 07:02:51 EST SUZYoLJH No.531876 Reply
>>531874
Oh my god you have to stop drinking forever, in a year you will wonder what the fuck was going on.
>>
Barnaby Sendertetch - Wed, 25 Sep 2019 09:00:58 EST h1yGv5Cw No.531878 Reply
>>531877
Yes, please. I really appreciate it, thank you for the offer.

>>531876
I know, you're absolutely right. I'm using alcohol as a crutch and it's... not good. My 'excuse' is that I'm really having a difficult time dealing with all this, though I know full well it's not like my problems solve themselves while I'm busy getting sloshed.

Losing virginity at 30

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- Thu, 05 Sep 2019 19:46:51 EST BR2YlFPa No.531542
File: 1567727211269.jpg -(1387906B / 1.32MB, 2048x1536) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Losing virginity at 30
Right off I'm going to say, I know it's my fault I've achieved wizard status. It just took me way too long to realize that I need to let shit go and that happiness isn't found within a comfort zone.

A little background: I'm a short, fat guy(5'8, ~200lbs) that never really did anything with his life. I have a full-time job(not great money), a car, and a place to live(not with parents). At my core, I'm just a lonely, whiny kid that's scared of most interaction, constantly mumbles, and gets discouraged very easily. I convinced myself that keeping my mouth shut, staying under the radar, and just going along with what people say would work out best for everyone. I've gotten better, but I'm still a long way from where I feel I should be. There are probably many deal-breakers about me, but the things that immediately spring to mind are my weight and my teeth. I have several cavities from drinking too much sugary bullshit as a kid, then beer in my 20s, while rarely brushing my teeth. All I can do is try my best to take care of them, since I don't have nearly enough money to get them fixed.

While sex is the ultimate goal, I would like to build some type of relationship first. I don't know where to start though. Should I do it in person, or is everything done on phones now? Are jeans and a t-shirt acceptable attire, or is it more of a shirt and tie thing? How much ridicule should I expect? I doubt anyone here has personal experience, but any kind of help would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: Fat, bitch-boy virgin wants a girlfriend, but doesn't know where to start.

I apologize if this type of thread gets posted a lot,. I'm still fairly new here.
24 posts and 4 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Edwin Horryhood - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 10:55:28 EST Y9sJyaRf No.531711 Reply
>>531661
Not OP but good post, anyone who needs help with their social skills should read this.
>>
Augustus Greendale - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 00:17:46 EST huQATWo/ No.531872 Reply
>>531661
your a good man for laying this out clearly for him and anyone else (like me) that can use a reminder how things should work here and there
>>
Lillian Bumblewell - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 04:47:49 EST JfSQtREE No.531873 Reply
>>531661
Lol. I was a metalhead and a stoner in high school and I constantly talked about drugs. I felt like I was cool as fuck. People certainly got along with me. Then again, I do live in the south. Lol

I licked and rubbed my genitals against my Mom's feet when I was younger

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- Sun, 22 Sep 2019 17:54:42 EST gOXD9Pcj No.531857
File: 1569189282301.jpg -(2475B / 2.42KB, 344x322) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I licked and rubbed my genitals against my Mom's feet when I was younger
When I was 13 I was still sleeping in the same bed as my mom. At some point I started licking her feet when I thought she was asleep. It wasn't long before I started masturbating as I was doing it. It became a frequent practice over the several months this lasted. At first I would strategically pick times when she was drunk so that she wouldn't notice or wake up. As time went on though, I got more and more sloppy. I would do it even when she was sober. I wasn't even trying to be much careful anymore. I would wait to hear her snore and I would keep asking her if she was sleeping yet. If she told me no then I would wait some more and ask again until I heard no reply.

On several occasions she was awake or at least got awoken. One time she prevented me from doing it by moving her feet back and forth really fast, to keep them away from my reach. I chased them for a minute hoping she would keep still. She didn't so I eventually gave up for that night.

After cumming I would always experience a lot of shame and found the whole thing disgusting. So I would spit on the carpet when I was done. One time she heard me and asked why I was spitting. I told her I had a hair in my mouth, to which she merely replied "Okay" without confronting me further.

The final step was masturbating while rubbing my genitals against her soles and between her toes. I had OCD and a voice told me if I didn't do it I would get bullied really bad during gym class the next day at school. That kind of justified doing it in the moment. I don't remember how many times or how long I did that for, but not for very long. I would think 2 or 3 times over a couple weeks. Shortly after that I stopped touching her feet altogether. Around one year later as she was drunk on the couch, I masturbated while glancing at her feet. I didn't cum. I sneakily took pictures of her feet but deleted them later that night, feeling very ashamed.

Every time I think about it, it's like a nightmare that I pray I can wake up from. But this is real and irreversible. I feel like the worst human being that's ever existed. I live in constant fear of being found out for who I really am. I want to hide from the entire world, and I do. Karma got me good because now I am so messed up I can't form a bond with anyone. I have no friends anymore, barely ever did. I'm emotionally distant to my family. At 32 I only ever had one relationship which was a mess. I was unable to get intimate with her both emotionally and physically. Again I constantly feel like I'm acting like a nice guy which is nothing but a cover. I'm on disability for bipolar among other things. Since I can't work right now I'm back at my mom's place. She's the only person I got left and does a lot for me which makes me feel guilty. I eat dinner with her and do a bit of chit chat here and there when I see her, but that's it. We both have always acted like nothing ever happened. I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I wish she would have stopped me so bad. I resent her for not doing anything about it. I swear I would have stopped. I wouldn't be this horrible person.
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Molly Hocklewin - Sun, 22 Sep 2019 22:25:43 EST DEG8JTSI No.531865 Reply
>>531861
I often give this advice to people:
If you hate something, and you actually have the power to change it and you choose to not change it - then I never fucking want to hear you complain about your situation in life.

You could fix this, but you're wallowing in self-pity. Grow up. You'll still be 'that person' until you get some goddamned help. And it's certainly not on your mother for not stopping you, that's all you bud.

Get. Help.
>>
Augustus Crunkinmut - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 01:22:12 EST 888281Kn No.531867 Reply
>>531857

She asked you why you were spitting. After you usednher feet to jerk yourself off. Your spit isnt what woke her up.

You entered into a sexual relationship with your mother at a young age. An acloholic woman, sleeping in the same bed as her teenage son sends up a red flag of incest, even before you realize she continued to sleep in the bed, even after awakening to you licking her feet. It sounds like sexual abuse.

Incest happens a lot more than you might think. What you written here doesn't make you a bad person
>>
Phoebe Chodgelock - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 10:02:41 EST tR57carO No.531868 Reply
>>531865
Calm yourself, lol... Getting cartoonishly angry at strangers on the internet isn't a good look.

What would you do?

Locked View Thread Reply
- Sun, 22 Sep 2019 10:21:31 EST Ii08on6m No.531850
File: 1569162091843.jpg -(9929B / 9.70KB, 450x317) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What would you do?
I have several problems with my skin. I can't be in the sun, but I also can't be in the cold because when I move from a cold environment (outside) to a warm environment (indoors with heating, for instance) I have a severe reaction.

I know the only possibility for me to live a somewhat normal life is to move to a country with a year round warm climate and live at night, basically.

I'm not really asking for advice. I just feel like it's a big hurdle to jump. Anyway thanks for listening.
>>
Hamilton Crenkinhon - Sun, 22 Sep 2019 11:55:58 EST tR57carO No.531851 Reply
That sucks man... You ever get high and jack off?
>>
Shit Nerrynick - Sun, 22 Sep 2019 13:17:15 EST XHgC+rDf No.531854 Reply
>>531850
Ah, me too. I get physically ill from UV exposure and have temperature regulation problems that can lead to all kinds of stuff. I do basically go out at night, and I have a very fancy sunscreen collection and use wash-in sun protection powder on all my clothes. Plus sunglasses, umbrellas, and UV index tracking apps.

You very much get used to it, and you look forward to fall and its mild temps and low UV levels. Good luck frand

lyin ass hoe

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 09 Sep 2019 20:39:04 EST Y/IBjRot No.531622
File: 1568075944250.jpg -(40490B / 39.54KB, 720x714) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. lyin ass hoe
>have female friend
>Not super close, went to a music festival with her and a group of friends once, thought she was pretty cool tho
>She starts dating this dude last winter
>meet him maybe 5 times, he seems pretty chill
>he gets to know some of my friends, eventually gets in at my work
>Start working with him daily, hes a good guy but the epitome of beta
>out of shape, does nothing but complains all day long about everything, liberal, games alot on his free time, talks about how in love his is w his girlfriend

Now I see his girl on tinder. Should I tell him? I'm thinking no. He won't believe me anyways and it will just cause drama. He's a good dude but I think he's clueless about this kinda shit, and he has to find out the hard way, just like I did and so many others though. He deserves to know.

I didnt screenshot it but I should have.

and no, i'm not going to fuck her. I'm not attracted to her in the slightest and even if I was. I've always wanted to be a player, but theres some things that are just inappropriate and off limits.
8 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Cornelius Nomblenot - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 17:46:50 EST JCATCBbz No.531801 Reply
You should tell him you fuckwad. Wouldn't you want to know if your girlfriend was tryna get some tindr dick on the side?
>>
David Bundale - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 08:07:43 EST arJ9K9Yx No.531826 Reply
>>531622
Just to clarify I canceled my tinder and reactivated years later to a lot in my inbox and realized my profile must have been active when I wasn’t even on it.

gewa

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 10 Sep 2019 23:37:25 EST XG4SjYIg No.531646
File: 1568173045888.jpg -(85918B / 83.90KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. gewa
Damn dude. I wake up with apocalyptic world ending depression. I hit snooze 4-10 times every day. I leave bed and climb through the heaps of clothes into the aisles of our apartment decorated by my high tier hoarder of a mother. She's sick and diabetic so I have to get her breakfast - navigating the kitchen isn't an option. I also have to feed my unemployable, depressed younger brother. Sometimes I cry in the shower, like actual sobbing just loud enough that it almost cant be heard over the water. Sometimes I don't shower because I don't care.

My job is quite easy - mainly cleaning shit thats 90% clean already. 50% of the time I'm just trying my best to look busy. Everyone at the job respects me and treats me decently, to my face anyway. Except 1 guy who strives to make my life hell. He fears I will take his job and he envies me. Just short of setting me up to fail, he accuses me of every trifling thing under the sun, and tells on himself constantly. Anyone who even knows what psychology is could see that he epitomizes the concept of "projecting" - making way left field remarks that expose what he thinks of himself. I don't want his fucking job. He allows himself to be treated like a slave and they are trying to do the same to me if I don't speak up for myself.

My actual boss is incredibly nice guy, but so awkward to talk to and be around that I can't stand to let him down or quit. Why would I quit a decent paying, easy mode job? I can usually keep that one guy off my ass with some simple psychology, but the burning holes in the back of my head and pouncing every little mistake I make is still irksome.

The complication - I have been constently in therapy for more than half of my life, dealing with my neglected childhood + abusive relationships. I have done just about everything. I have the skills and wisdom to not dare discount the progress I made. Part of me fears that I have lowered my expectations too much for treatment and time was wasted. And that is the root of the problem. My biggest existential problem that drives my eternal depression locomotive. I want my pain to not be for nothing. I want some magical being to part the sky, quantify my suffering with a calculation, and present to me some reward that would make everything up till now worthwhile.

Meanwhile, after feeding my family more fast food, I come home in the evening, and play video games. Desperate to escape to a world where the damage we receive is quantified. It can be mitigated, avoided, or dealt with. Ive yet to see a game where we struggle to hide our low health and willpower from our own allies.

I don't know. I'm flirting with nihilism. I just had to get that out. In a few minutes I'm going to check my phone to see if I was fired for calling out of work - I couldn't pull myself together this morning.

Thanks for letting me vent I guess.
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Jenny Hazzlenot - Wed, 11 Sep 2019 00:05:24 EST 2dpbGRKS No.531647 Reply
1568174724491.jpg -(63422B / 61.94KB, 750x536) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
move out
nice album
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Martin Duckwell - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 01:51:25 EST zXYjKqIG No.531837 Reply
> I want some magical being to part the sky, quantify my suffering with a calculation, and present to me some reward that would make everything up till now worthwhile
When i catch myself aimlessly going through my phone sometimes I wish their was a website called yourlife.com that could show me what I should be doing instead of wasting time. But then I realize that's egocentric and I could die tomorrow and most certainly regret it even though suicide is a romantic fantasy of mine and I try to transmute that negativity into something unique and tangible to further myself. What I do when I'm feeling dull is go into nature and try to reach higher states of existence in sober meditation.
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Eugene Gosslechut - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 08:21:36 EST jTGkEsHU No.531838 Reply
>>531837
What have you put effort into to improve your mental health?

My breakup.

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- Fri, 20 Sep 2019 23:33:13 EST UuASd/Tk No.531833
File: 1569036793950.jpg -(59318B / 57.93KB, 848x564) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My breakup.
My girlfriend had just started a new job. I was so proud of her. I never got to see her anymore because of her hours. I received a text from her. In it she told me that she was a bad person, that she had cheated on me. She said I deserved better. I tried everything to convince her that she wasn't. She did not come home that night.

I said that we should at least try couples therapy. She agreed to go to an emergency appointment I scheduled with my therapist. In this appointment she told me that she loved me and that I was a great guy. She confessed that she had been cheating on me for the past three months with several partners that she had met over Tinder. I was completely devastated.

She believes she has a sex addiction and that she needs to address these problems separated from me. This happened on August 8th.

I am dealing with it but have been completely zoned out. She got her own apartment and I let her come by to pack up her things while I was at school. I continue to respect her boundaries. I would be lying if I said I wasn't going through a self-destructive phase between now and when this happened. I've been numbing my pain with a lot of drinking and have been going through through the different stages of grief.

I almost convinced myself to download Tinder but I stopped short. I am getting to the acceptance stage and I want to continue to process this breakup with my therapist before I put myself out there.
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Jenny Dreffingfoot - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 00:59:33 EST wIKq1PyM No.531835 Reply
Any girl that would cheat doesn't love you and never did, now you can take that two ways. You can consider it a blessing she showed her true colors and you didn't end up marrying her or worse dumping a child in her and being bound forever to that shit. Or you can be a mopey faggot and worry about what some woman who doesn't give a fuck about you is doing. I'm not going to tell you to get back out there and try to fuck but you have to let her go if you want to make progress on healing yourself. Never ever take a scandalous cheating ho back ever. You'll be good just watch how much you're drinking and make sure you are taking care of yourself first.
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Rebecca Buckleshaw - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 01:28:42 EST lOgPoSCR No.531836 Reply
1569043722441.gif -(388626B / 379.52KB, 182x100) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>531833
she was right. she's a bad person

now shit down her throat with success, have make up sex and make her feel as empty as you felt when you found out. dont feel bad what's the difference anyway shes gonna feel that way either way after smanging another guy.
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Martin Demmerridge - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 08:26:44 EST znvZPHVt No.531840 Reply
>>531835
People cheat for reasons but it's never the right choice. The extent OP's partner cheated and the options she had available then yeah I agree. I think there may be cases where if the person cheated on can say "I can still trust you again one day" it might be worth finding out why the cheating happening, sorting that out and healing the relationship. But this is no where near such a case and even then it would rely on those feelings and even if you drop the hatred and resentment I'm not sure how many people can truly trust after cheating, especially someone as massively trangressive as this.

OP. Dump her. move on. Take Jenny's advice. She never discussed this. She could have brought this up worked out what it was these strangers give her that she doesn't get and if there's a way to get it without fucking another guy and if there isn't then consider changing the terms of the relationship (or ending it if that's incompatible with OP. I know I would have to let a partner go if they needed polygamy or an open relationship)

befriending a female

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- Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:06:35 EST 67oTrBBI No.531694
File: 1568408795592.png -(12016B / 11.73KB, 800x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. befriending a female
I know it's a very broad question and that it comes naturally to most, but I'd really appreciate some pointers, specially from the ladies of the board.

Can a dude ask a woman to go eat a burger or watch a movie without romantic implications?

How do I even approach her so as to not fuck this up?

Should I even try to do so while carrying the burden of a white-hot burning infatuation?

I say hi to her and we have several mutual acquaintances but that's about it, there has never been a single actual conversation or anything.

In case you need background about me I've been a shut-in my entire life and have always had trouble relating to people in general, but more importantly I literally have zero experience of any kind with women, seriously, I'm a level 31 kissless wizard.

I've had an insanely intense crush for her for at least the past 6 months, and prior to that it had already happened about 2 years ago when she was new at the company, but I realistically know I don't stand a chance and I'm 80% sure she's into another guy anyway.
44 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Archie Tootbanks - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 10:45:21 EST UazQZPcT No.531828 Reply
OP gonna rape some girl he hasn't even done anything but say hey to.
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Hannah Mammlelock - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 11:19:29 EST WMON++jb No.531829 Reply
>>531819
That's fantastic... What do you think she's like during sex? Do you think she takes control?
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Shitting Mickleson - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 14:30:20 EST DGoOj1Bf No.531830 Reply
If she is hot as hell, it would be very hard if not impossible to have a completely platonic interaction, not only because of what she expects from guys, but because you would feel the sexual dynamic in the relationship anyway, which would simply translate in your words and body language, actions. Your mind wouldn't be able to ignore the elephant in the room. Unless you are pro actor and want a fake relationship. If you feel sexually about the person, you don't have to act on it explicitly especially if the person indicates that she isn't open to that dynamic, but don't feel apologetic for how you feel, if you start being apologetic about who you are it's a surefire way to sell yourself out and loose all self asteem. Be curtious and humble, but it's no one's business who you are on the inside, it's one land where you do whatever you want and be whoever you dare or imagine, don't sell 1 share of that land anon. But just as you would like respect from others in this regard, respect the others as well, if she doesn't like you or just doesn't like you sexually respect her attitude, she is entitled to it just like you are entitled to finger her in your mind. I mean she may like you, but if you view that as a necessity you have lost before the battle.

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