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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

Bully board?

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- Wed, 11 Mar 2020 07:22:17 EST WOlHi5IK No.533980
File: 1583925737453.jpg -(110328B / 107.74KB, 400x303) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Bully board?
Does this board still exist just so we can use the old supportive threads to lure new people in and bully them? That's just mean-spirited.

i really really want to kms right now

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- Sun, 01 Mar 2020 14:24:21 EST fX6Yh9Du No.533857
File: 1583090661973.jpg -(23875B / 23.32KB, 540x276) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i really really want to kms right now
but i can't do shit because if i fail i'll be sectioned so i'm probably just going to eat cake and cry myself to sleep lmao
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Ernest Hinninglock - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 15:14:31 EST li/x54Vx No.533944 Reply
Not OP but I am walking that road rn

31, unemployed due to rib fracture, uninsured, gf of 5yrs left me, no friends, living at parents, they're moving to a rural area in less than a month, no car, small uhaul worth of stuff, savings being crushed in stocks,

I'd much rather kms but don't have the courage yet. I called the suicide prevention hotline this morning. Some of their suggestions/techniques did help calm me down. The scariest part of today is waking up and just feeling totally at peace with expiring.

And I am trying... I do squat and pushups as well as run around the block, daily. Stopped drinking and once I run out of wax I think I might tolerance break from mmj. I'm reading library books, which requires me to physically go to a library. I even pet my parents cat for emotional support.

However, the impending doom of kms mostly outweighs any happiness I make for myself. Another word's, it just feels like it's a big waste of time. The impending feeling that none of what I do in life is going to matter in the slightest. Born a pissant die a pissant, dystopian bliss
John Duvingstire - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 19:08:24 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533948 Reply
You had a really nasty change and your life sucks so it's natural you'd feel this way but from the cave of depression it's hard to see far outside.

You will die eventually you might as well just try to make the most of the time you have while you still have agency and you have a lot of agency, even if right now your best options are really just steps to getting more exciting choices a bit later. Being rational about it (as hard as that is with circumstantial depression weighing you down) you can see that you might have to put in a bit of work before you can feel any benefits but that this will quickly start to yield benefits in the grand scheme of things. I mean sure while life is a day at a time a few weeks or months feels endless but your life stretches on much further. You are going to spend most of eternity being dead so might as well try living in the little window you can.It's less wasteful to live than do the same non existing thing you did and will do for all the rest of time.

I think you are doing well by keeping busy and doing stuff. Maybe look at how you can focus that. Your daily routine isn't bad, set goals to slowly run further, do more reps, or carry a small weight, try to work on incline pullups until you can do pullups. Work towards bodyweight tricep dips. But not just the exercise.Read stuff which might help you find useful skills whether it's stuff like cooking, or first aid or music or even stuff which might help you get a new job when you can move enough.
Oliver Climmerlidge - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 22:57:28 EST JFqzZM+C No.533950 Reply
>unemployed due to rib fracture

Wut. I broke my rib leaning over too hard trying to pull something heavy out of a dumpster. Felt it snap. It hurt to breathe for a few weeks but that was about it and then it healed itself. You don't even need a cast for that shit, the other ribs hold into place.


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- Thu, 29 Aug 2019 16:51:03 EST Sjfg2Tup No.531387
File: 1567111863544.png -(366355B / 357.77KB, 1320x881) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Therapy
My therapist has the exact same table. Fucking weird.

Had a session today with some very, very difficult topics and now that the session is over, my mind is trying to.. explain reality away again. IE my therapist was like, "Face the shit you've been lying to yourself (and others) about" and in session I DID, and it was HARD, and it really shook me because I did have to face the fact that I had lied to myself for so long I believed it, now I have to make some hard choices.

But now session's over and my brain is like... "Haha J/K you can stuff all that shit right back in your lockbox and forget about it forever and keep on the way you were without ever changing because change is scary and uncomfortable and this is safe!"


I know what's going on, I know it's an old coping mechanism that I do (did?) with painful subjects, but how the fuck do I leave a session and take the lessons and reality check with me, and not let old habits override what could be actual personal growth and healing?? Has anyone else experienced this or am I just that messed up?

also one hour sessions are nowhere near long enough when you're dealing with heavy topics, why can't you opt to pay for 2 hours or something so you don't have to cut things short
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Edwin Burringham - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 12:46:49 EST 3xVrj3us No.533943 Reply
You’re on a drug forum dude what do you expect. I’m sure you’re perfectly well adjusted you insightless robot trash beast
William Lightville - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 15:50:38 EST KEmQe8DO No.533945 Reply
What is this supposed to even mean? Do you think mental illness is a recent phenomenon?
John Duvingstire - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 19:00:58 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533947 Reply
Not sure this isn't satirical tbh guys. I mean it's like a self important teenager who thinks a boomer mentality makes them mature. Usually though it's something about Pink Floyd rather being better than modern music though.

I mean why would you go on a board full of people with issues and be surprised by mental illness?

alexa how do i edit the sexuality group policy

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- Tue, 03 Mar 2020 17:05:53 EST I9AaZI3m No.533892
File: 1583273153087.jpg -(13255B / 12.94KB, 253x226) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. alexa how do i edit the sexuality group policy
i, in typical channer fasion, am a 21yr old wizard w no sexual experience. im not ugly, i smell nice, in good shape, am at least somewhat funny, and feel comfortable around women. in fact, most of my friends in school growing up were girls. romance just never happened for me though, i had 1 or 2 girls i was interested in at some point earlier on but the feeling was not mutual. i suppose it was at that point i decided i was irredeemably ugly (which was a misconception as i now realize im not at all), which colored my romantic life afterwards and made me get so stuck in my head that i never even entertained the idea that a woman would be interested in me.


i went on my first date ~a month ago with some girl i met on tinder. we got coffee n she was real cute, but i think i misread her signals. in retrospect she had lots of red flags and was probably only looking for a hookup, but moron me wanted something more and just pushed her away. she flaked on me a bunch, we stopped texting, that was that, and i'm not too hung up over it. after that, i stayed on tinder for a minute without much success and decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

lately i was invited to go rehearse with some of my old friends from music school since they needed a pianist. i've been doing that and there's this girl there that i was pretty good friends with back in school, and i spent some time with her the other day. she was telling me about some people she was seeing, and i told her that i was interested in her, but that there wasn't any pressure and i'd still wanna be friends if the feeling wasn't mutual. she said that she "really liked" me, but wasn't sure if she wanted a romantic relationship since she had recently gotten out of a longer term one (and generally likes women more), and that she needed time to think but wanted to hang out with me. so, we were hanging out with her ex (red flag?) for awhile that night and it was fun. she had a mardi gras party earlier as well which was sort of fun, but i don't like parties and dipped out early. then there was our rehearsal the other night where we were supposed to chill one-on-one afterwards, but it ended up being a thing with like 5 other people and id had way more than my fill of groups of people, and left early again. we were supposed to hang out tonight, but she texted me saying she had to work late. asked if she has any other nights off this week, and haven't gotten a response.

i just.... idk. i get vibes that she's not really that interested in me and it fucking sucks. every time i try to do something romantically this it turns out like this. it makes me hate myself. i mean it's not like i deserve a real human connection with someone so i can't be too upset. i'm already so far behind here that it doesn't even make sense for someone to want to be with me. there's a part of me that sees something rose-colored in being this lonely guy, an independent soul. hell it's not even just romance, the last person i thought i was becoming good friends with stopped wanting to hang out with me. perhaps there's something deep in my being that's repelling to other humans, where it only takes spending enough time with me to realize i'm not worth it. i wish i could get in my own brain and turn off sexual desire along with the need for deep connection with someone. i have a bunch of baggage that's probably related here but im not going to go into it right now. i don't like my job, nobody wants to be with me or spend time with me, fuck. all i am is human garbage and i'll never be anything more. this isn't even scratching the surface as i am LITERALLY INSANE, and as i think back im realizing that ive been hearing voices in my head for the better part of my life thinking they were real. in any social situation with more than a few people, especially ones i dont know, i hear their voices talk about me behind my back, criticizing how i dress, how i act, laughing at me, making fun of me. i realized this at the mardi gras party, i was jamming with some other people and there was a small crowd. i kept hearing them say things about the pianist and how he was barely keeping up and how they felt bad for me and that i should get off the stage. it was at this point i left the party, and on the ride home i realized that i was doing fine and none of those things really made sense for people to be sayi…
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Eugene Tootlock - Wed, 04 Mar 2020 00:04:03 EST jnas4L6T No.533901 Reply
jesus christ indeed. you need to smoke more weed
Cyril Grimman - Wed, 04 Mar 2020 00:59:38 EST XOsSM943 No.533903 Reply
Son you cant just jam an old bisexual friend with a life full of experience into the hole in your life. Did you expect her to turn into the perfect girlfriend barbie doll when you said that you liked her?

You've got anxiety, depression and self esteem issues that are manifesting in psychotic symptoms. You can banish those voices now that you're deciphering them though. I had that shit too and it fades when you are aware of it.

Anyway this chick is no good for you and your mental health is too dogshit to be in a relationship right now. Focus on improving your own self image and on friendships for now. Talk about your issues with people you trust.

For the love of God though please dont expect anyone to save you from your personal hell or try and force a relationship because of your own unrealistic feelings. I say this with love because I was you mate. Theres no shortcuts. Only working on yourself and platonic relationships for now bud.
Esther Hablinglen - Fri, 06 Mar 2020 14:50:08 EST m5PpGgiM No.533914 Reply
I have similar feelings OP. No advice but you're not alone. Heres to hoping for better days.

Sorry this.

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- Mon, 02 Mar 2020 10:52:08 EST USUZpST+ No.533879
File: 1583164328756.jpg -(35786B / 34.95KB, 500x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Sorry this.
I've had a tendence, due to "incompatibilities, I'd rather. Said the reason the evenings and asking through that her part-time doing what he used by me normal intellectual communities, I would pick when the same as nice, and I'll be 21 in exactly one sides on imageboard before, they student socially when puberty starting to vent a lazy life, got me kind of morning the one who aren't made me ffs. She was good at a lazy life. I have had clear goals in the feeling below average lotters.

Like I am.

I was dating more I can't keep up with), am going the boiling point* that made me playing the lonely sometimes (althought tables, talking to wonder if I'm being so forthright about ever me. Fuck respoons (which he don't help. Sometimes (although it. She has a first step for getting is... I find of feels like I'm just disappoint* that made for me dropping her. She was kind of feels likes and and sad an extreme lazy life and it enoughts. Probably be as nice from time to repay the doesn't really fixable if I tried. I wanted to move intellect on the time.)

I don't know what attractive goes, is most of loved here before thoughts. No knowledge, nothing the illusion of and I barely managed to do SOMETHING with male or to school socially attractive beginning to wonder if I definitely got some good advice from dating a classes.

When I postman, and goes, is regret, pain, and it messes with him the met from DATING APPS. Sometimes I'm happy she was on some reading my self conside of her when my fault for than try to fix my life. The most of the illusion to vent go to them to realize I'm just disappointing the begin the begin tomorrow morning. I suppose.(Whom I started to takes, which we've talked abusive me succeed at it naturally bad some goes, maybe a good advice from dating all the sharpest person that I'm 20, and my best friends well-though to date guy who is really under how good I barely myself to blame focused on that prompted to do with me dropping him and her wasn't for not being what I was dating a guy is about me, who had there, the first place my head, basically locking my car doors, not being someone who doesn't have mutual issues with me dropping him a blowjob. It was kinda depressed and high school and lil broke up after the "canceled" classes.

I want social started to them to vent a lot of from seeing and push her to do with less and lonely. Sometimes I'm a girl dating so forthright thing the lottery from DATING APPS. Sometimes.
Thomas Clayway - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 12:54:23 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533883 Reply
1583171663349.jpg -(42637B / 41.64KB, 533x594) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Am prepared to well dressed salad of substance words am maybe.
Fucking Drarringdale - Tue, 03 Mar 2020 09:07:38 EST 7OGdb+ZV No.533889 Reply
Bumping this shitty bot thread because fuck you

what's the point of it all?

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- Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:55:44 EST fX6Yh9Du No.533803
File: 1582851344566.png -(57892B / 56.54KB, 540x225) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what's the point of it all?
i got over my agoraphobia and bulimia, i started using my meds again, i got into university, i stopped cutting, but for what? the first person i've felt anything close to love for in a very long time doesn't want me anymore, i'm stupid as fuck, i have nobody i can truly vent everything to anymore and i feel like there's no point in me even existing anymore. change my mind, please
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Shitting Pinkinshit - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 06:32:13 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533845 Reply
Yeah you have to decide what for. You've got yourself into a good position in terms of opportunities to do stuff and be happy. For now keep it ticking over and try to figure out what will make you happy. Then start working on it. Your purpose now is twofold

>work out what you want
>make it happen

The universe is endless and huge and you'll die eventually for certain so might as well do other stuff in the window you have when you exist. You can cease existing in a few decades and no matter how bad life gets you know it will end one day. So in the mean time work out how to make the most of the opportunity.

I mean your problem both in terms of being alive and within it is that you don't know what to do, not that you're stuck without hope. You're in a good position, you're strong, you can get stuff done.
Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:51:38 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533878 Reply
If you did all of that self-improvement for other people, it's for nothing. You could have been out there finding someone who was comfortable with you or at least willing to be codependent. What a waste of time if you don't think you're valuable enough to deserve the life that you've worked for.
Phoebe Shittingshit - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 13:31:33 EST sOxTo0lY No.533884 Reply
dude you are still a kid, you will feel love many more times and some day someone will love you back

focus on building friendships, not romantic relationships, i think you are lonely, i might be projecting, but i think you are lonely and if you get some stable friendships in your life everything else will slowly fall into place. Friendships are just as much work as romantic relationships, but they are more stable, and because everyone can have several friendships at a time but only one romantic love at a time, it is easier in that sense to find friends (not because it takes less time or less social skills or different social skills, just because of that one thing)

Anyone every pump a bunch of air directly into their urethra?

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- Mon, 02 Mar 2020 00:04:33 EST 8bUsPtBW No.533868
File: 1583125473569.jpg -(539089B / 526.45KB, 4000x3000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anyone every pump a bunch of air directly into their urethra?
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut finibus eu elit sit amet varius. Etiam ac erat quis tellus blandit tristique ac eu quam. Etiam iaculis at massa nec semper. Integer consectetur est a sapien aliquet, ac porttitor metus accumsan. I'm a bitch agent; Quisque non lacus vitae nibh aliquam mollis. Nunc ut risus eu tortor auctor lobortis. Morbi euismod ante justo, ac vulputate ligula pretium quis. Phasellus vel nulla lorem. Pellentesque et risus nec tellus aliquet tincidunt.

Quisque id felis euismod dolor dictum tristique cursus sit amet nisl. Mauris vitae diam nec libero rutrum convallis vitae et arcu. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Duis quam lorem, convallis vitae pharetra sit amet, ornare id odio. Vivamus sit amet venenatis purus, eget ultrices leo. Morbi ultrices, nulla id scelerisque efficitur, massa neque commodo neque, iaculis sagittis magna arcu at nisi. Nunc lacinia tincidunt eros, nec commodo tellus tincidunt in. Nunc tincidunt nulla quis nibh placerat vehicula.

Nullam sollicitudin quis urna non ultricies. Pellentesque semper mi non tortor suscipit pellentesque. Vestibulum tristique mauris ut egestas viverra. Donec tincidunt vel tellus a consectetur. Quisque tellus risus, ullamcorper non rutrum vitae, finibus at erat. Sed laoreet gravida scelerisque. Fusce non massa consectetur, tempus tellus consectetur, viverra ipsum. Mauris faucibus ligula at lectus placerat iaculis. Nullam in sem dictum, porttitor massa id, feugiat velit. Pellentesque tempor dui at fermentum egestas. Fusce lacus nisi, condimentum ut justo id, aliquam volutpat magna. Curabitur ornare, metus at lobortis blandit, arcu lectus finibus sapien, eget porttitor lorem sapien ac urna. Vivamus placerat sodales elit, a tincidunt nulla interdum quis.

Pellentesque sodales erat ut turpis consequat, ut placerat dolor vulputate. Aliquam interdum quis massa sed commodo. Where is my mark whur did ee go. Maecenas metus risus, rutrum at venenatis id, feugiat ut nisi. Aenean laoreet enim dui, ut tristique est tincidunt vitae. Praesent ut vehicula ipsum. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Integer ut posuere lacus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. In vel pharetra lacus. Vestibulum luctus lorem a rutrum vestibulum. Donec consectetur purus eros, sed aliquet turpis volutpat a. Morbi ultricies, metus ut sollicitudin luctus, lectus tortor sodales nisi, ut iaculis neque ipsum ac dui. Nullam convallis hendrerit aliquet.

Curabitur pharetra magna id enim varius lacinia. Maecenas feugiat arcu rutrum dolor congue, efficitur sodales tortor venenatis. Suspendisse sagittis id sapien eget blandit. Am I portraying him wrong accurately. Vestibulum eget imperdiet urna, nec fringilla turpis. Vestibulum pellentesque et dolor id ornare. Nullam posuere ultricies porttitor. Vestibulum dictum faucibus eros sed convallis.

Duis sollicitudin lorem a ex sagittis porta. Aliquam suscipit, leo in rutrum egestas, urna dolor malesuada nunc, eget sodales eros dolor non felis. Pellentesque pellentesque porta nunc, et feugiat nulla semper sit amet. Nullam id enim eget nulla tincidunt venenatis nec at nisl. Sed quis velit ipsum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum blandit tempus condimentum.

Vivamus et massa sapien. Proin sollicitudin varius mollis. Morbi non turpis tincidunt, imperdiet lacus vitae, pellentesque magna. Mauris facilisis nunc pulvinar efficitur sollicitudin. Sed sodales maximus consequat. Suspendisse mollis hendrerit enim, ut facilisis sapien finibus sed. Ut vestibulum, libero vel hendrerit maximus, justo sem ultricies augue, vel mattis nunc odio non ante.Ha ha I take the bait. Aenean convallis congue risus. Integer feugiat lobortis massa, in pulvinar purus condimentum in. I try to make him eat his words. Quisque congue sem dolor, sit amet pharetra urna porta viverra. Aenean ullamcorper mollis convallis. Cras a commodo augue, at tempus justo. Pellentesque sagittis, ipsum id pretium elementum, ligula augue rhoncus orci, vitae luctus arcu nunc ac sapien.

Sed dolor purus, euismod ac est ut, laoreet congue ex. Proin tincidunt accumsan nisi, non condimentum leo tempor in. Aenean sit amet nunc tincidunt, efficitur dui eget, fermentum ante. Integer nec lacinia nisl. But he's so hungry. In ut luctus sapien. Sed pellentesque diam ut nisl malesuada, vel sollicitudin metus tempus.…
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Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:48:44 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533877 Reply
Anyone else drunk and edgy as fuck testing out a spambot and/or investigating the limits of the website to spam it?

Alcoholic mom - help

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- Sun, 01 Mar 2020 10:54:47 EST veLftDuq No.533849
File: 1583078087637.jpg -(60518B / 59.10KB, 1000x667) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Alcoholic mom - help
Whenever I notice my mom drinking I try to find her bottles and confiscate them.

But I feel like this only makes her want to drink more the next day.

Should I just let her get fucked up? This way she can stop saying that she controls it by only drinking a bit, and I can record a video to show her the next day.

I don't know, I feel extremely guilty right now.
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David Seddleway - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 16:58:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533862 Reply
Oh that's sad. Maybe that's her way of showing affection? Like she just wants you to be happy so here are pills that make you happy? Because she loves you but it's tragic all around and there's no discernible way out?
Anyway I hope things work out for you and her.
Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:43:33 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533874 Reply
I checked my father into a mental hospital last year because he's over 70 and can't stop drinking and he's alienated or assaulted everyone in his life.
Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:45:37 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533875 Reply
And in terms of this pushing you to drink, choose today to link the external image that you have of your mother in your own mind and think about it this way: no matter how good you /feel/ when you're drunk, this is what you look like, and what you are. Don't follow that path...

Major insecurities flirting with new people, fucking it up SOS

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- Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:04:44 EST 0Ag2Us1E No.533800
File: 1582848284622.jpg -(485445B / 474.07KB, 750x699) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Major insecurities flirting with new people, fucking it up SOS

I have this problem where whenever Im into somebody I like, all of my insecurities come flowing out of me like a repulsive ooze that nobody wants to see or experience

I end up being self deprecating and always making excuses and being preemptively defensive about any judgments

Its the worst because with people im not interested im actually cool and chill and good to be around, but with romantic interests i actually like, i turn into a pathetic fucking slug just waiting to be salted or squished, preparing for death at any moment, and in turn, actually facilitating the salting by acting so insecure.

How do i not be insecure when interacting with people im interested in?

SOS actively fucking it up right now and probably pushing them away by being self deprecating and overly complimentary toward them

Why am i like this????????
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Reuben Pockwill - Thu, 27 Feb 2020 21:15:18 EST 0Ag2Us1E No.533805 Reply
Yeah its the same with me. Its like watching a car crash in slow motion. A car crash that i cant stop.

And then i also feel if i didnt preface with all the self deprecating shit, they would like, still assume im a dick becsuse i didnt preface it with all that stuff. Its truly a lose lose.
Edwin Grimhall - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 13:49:38 EST U2D5rH6t No.533855 Reply
I stopped trying to date/fuck.

Idk if it's the right move, but I hurt less so there's that.
Molly Pimmerchet - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 18:54:32 EST jeBHOknd No.533863 Reply
I feel this post way too much. I feel like the less I focus on it the less it hurts, then you eventually find people that don't treat you like shut because your akward, they akward too.......fuck im such a fool

Struggling to have interests

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- Sun, 23 Feb 2020 01:59:11 EST MLUXGZI9 No.533749
File: 1582441151220.png -(326395B / 318.75KB, 534x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Struggling to have interests
I used to play guitar regularly. I used to actively study computers. I used to watch anime and what not. Now, I just watch the same three YouTubers, play GTA Online on and off, maybe a different game here or there, and just do whatever my gf wants to do. Kinda just feel like I exist and don't really live for myself. I know that isn't my gf's fault. She isn't really forcing me to be with her or do what she wants. I just don't have any motivation to persue my hobbies. I also don't really have any other friends. It's hard. How do I get out of this nothingness cycle?
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Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:49:59 EST mttQWkrO No.533833 Reply
because like I said it would make me manic, it was like ecstasy but with a much more sinister edge, eventually I had a psychotic break and ended up in hospital for almost a month
Ebenezer Chocklelig - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:54:30 EST ZyAKcTrV No.533834 Reply
1583016870978.jpg -(20376B / 19.90KB, 480x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Did you do any or see any weird sexual shit while there? Any fingerblasting?? HMMM?
Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:57:54 EST mttQWkrO No.533836 Reply
nah it made me even more incapable of that sort of thing than I already was

BWQQ : bump when QQ

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- Fri, 17 May 2019 02:16:59 EST cSntlhQ8 No.529418
File: 1558073819757.jpg -(90830B / 88.70KB, 750x739) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. BWQQ : bump when QQ
I searched 5 pages back. Does this board get a bump thread? just vent about feelings and emotions here.

My heroin addict neighbor has been being a bitch to me lately. I can't cuss her out while talking to her, but she has been yelling at me and freaking out. So I'm gonna talk smack about her here. Sorry if this is shit posting.

holy fuck speak of the devil. shes texting me now. i did not even read what she wrote. im gonna delete it. fuck this psycho bitch. she is causing me so much stress. I hope I'm making a thread correctly.
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Molly Pisslepare - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 13:25:27 EST c0hJQZyX No.533817 Reply
1582914327631.jpg -(77621B / 75.80KB, 460x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Will turn 30 in June, yet have the social experience of a 12 year old. I had my first and only girlfriend at 21, nothing since then. No hookups, no sex, nothing. I feel like shit everytime I leave the house for too long and see happy couples having fun.
Please kill me, thanks.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 20:07:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533826 Reply
i feel like trash because i essentially wasted my youth.
watching this kind of stuff leaves me literally suicidal. i wanted to express talent but my past was too fucked up, i was too much of a destroyed human being. bladee is basically my favourite artist right now too.
Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:57:12 EST mttQWkrO No.533835 Reply
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aged out of my parents insurance without making a plan, quit wellbutrin cold because i couldn't afford to see a doctor to get a refill, nor could i afford the refill probably and I'm weening off my lamictal for the same reason, but at least with my tapering schedule I have a few months worth left, not really feeling sad per-say except in moments, have moments of euphoria too mixed in, so I'm definitely in a mixed episode at this point but i'm keeping things in check

I've been wanting to stop my meds now that I'm doing a lot better anyway, I just hope I don't go down any further, I'm starting to feel better now anyway, wellbutrin's withdrawal or "discontinuation syndrome" isn't as protracted as I thought it would be

at least spiro and e are pretty affordable without insurance, as are hard drugs and weed, would've turned to alcohol at this point were I not already an alcoholic, I'm not opening that can of worms after 4 months sober, wouldn't do a thing for me at this point

also, ignore the racist connotations of this image, i'm not one of those people, it's just the first one i found in my folder that fit

I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on

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- Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:00:52 EST ObhhTE06 No.533783
File: 1582722052889.jpg -(19567B / 19.11KB, 408x408) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on
>FINALLY muster the courage to go out on my own for the first time in years
>sit down at a pub for a few hours
>2 guys ask to share the table with me on the other end
>I agree but they’re very friendly so they include me in their conversation almost immediately
>both tradesmen, good looking, confident young guys, also so nice and seemed so conscientious it was really shocking to me how sensitive they seemed when on the surface I was even a little intimidated by them
>they are Mens Men in a way that I could never be and all I can think is “why do they even want to hang out with me”
>we spent the whole night together and even though it was only Tuesday we went to a bar/nightclub and they ordered me drinks all night and I’ve never had so much fun
>at one point I called out to one of them with the wrong name and he had to correct me and I apologised so much
>like it was a scene from a movie he smiled and put a hand on my shoulder and said “dont worry man it’s the thought that counts” and I have never been so floored by something and I don’t know why
I added them both on Facebook and they accepted but they haven’t messaged me at all today. Of course not I get why they wouldn’t because it’s no big deal but I’m freaking out here because I’m confusing my feelings of romance with not having any friends for so long and I’m like the typical fucking queer who other men have to watch how they act around me in case I try to fuck them or something. I really hope I stay friends with these guys but I also think I could never keep up with them for so long... In a way I wish I had never met them because I kind of feel so low compared to them and am reeling so heavily all today from the amount of fun I had, but it’s just not realistic for me. For them I’m sure it meant nothing.
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Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:34:17 EST b2U4Jslk No.533829 Reply
Oh wait I do have advice
DON'T be like me where you send them a long message explaining every little thing you're feeling now. Even if they react in a relatively positive way because they're conscious enough to know that a lot of people have weird inner emotional monologues it's still something that alters 'the evolution" of your friendship
But on the other hand, accepting that it's okay and possibly even kind of normal to feel the way that you do as long as you can maintain a measure of self-control might be helpful too
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:43:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533830 Reply
Oh wait and I have more advice, sorry for triple posting, but I think it's important! It's something my therapist told me, which is that you can't assume that it meant nothing to do them. I prefer to see these early stage relationships as a collection of nascent potentialities, and every participant gets faint whiffs here and there while "playing it cool" to conceal vulnerability or demonstrate strength or... whatever reason (I actually don't know because I never play it cool lmao).
I think it would make less sense for someone to hang out with a person all night and for it to mean nothing than for it to have meant something of *some kind*.
I mean I kind of get it because it's like a counterbalance to your erotomania right and you've got that negative self-talk laid down as deeply entrenched neural pathways (tell me if I'm projecting too hard lmao) but all you really gotta do is let stuff unfold
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:50:09 EST b2U4Jslk No.533831 Reply
okay i'm still posting too much i'm sorry but one more thing: also, "normal', non-desperate people aren't threatened by the uncertainty of these "potentialities" the way I assume you might be
to them *the mystique* is exciting and interesting because it doesn't matter as much to them whether they low or high roll, they already have support systems and such in place
Whereas you want them to talk to you, you want to know everything up front, you want that solid foundation NOW so you can stop worrying about what this means
I think that generally you have to play along with this because only a minority is probably going to be accepting of anything else, as excruciating as it is. It makes you a stronger and less insecure person in the long run too I think.

I wasted my potential

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- Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:29:39 EST S6WwTyS/ No.533820
File: 1582928979049.jpg -(195191B / 190.62KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I wasted my potential
What's up guys, I just wanna vent for a second, i'm depressed that I wasted my potential, I was a super super senior in highschool due to depression from my grandparents favoring my brother and not giving as much of a fuck in the way of parenting for me so I dropped out when I only had one credit and my senior project to go so now I lie and say I got my GED but I finished one test so far and plan to finish since I was lying before and saying I finished HS but jobs in the state I moved to care about this shit so i'm working on getting my GED but I moved and ran out of funds and now the clock is ticking and I knew I had potential I was good at writing and great with English, I liked history and now I want to get into environmental science and solve the plastic crisis we have going on and other things but I have anxiety holding me back from pursuing my passion and really putting myself out there like I know I could because I have no credibility to back my knowledge and it feels like I fucked my life up. Anyone empathize?
James Fumbleway - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 18:32:12 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533821 Reply
You need to focus on one thing until you finish it, and not worry about other people. Start with one thing and move on to the next.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:37:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533824 Reply
yes i can relate.
do not neglected personal health. especially any drugs, addictions. fix the stuff that held you back initially, you need to trust that there's still something for you to do in this world. there are opportunities but you can only capitalize when you are properly functional. do not get stuck being the underground man

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