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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

Getting Organized

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- Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:31:05 EST GC9ZQBos No.530661
File: 1564399865675.jpg -(67701B / 66.11KB, 886x509) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Getting Organized
Nevermind the laundry lost of other hangups due to a traumatic upbringing, what ultimately fucks me up is extreme procrastination and neglect of practical stuff around the house, going through a pattern of being relatively well organized and gradually slipping into chaos and disorganization, rinse and repeat.

Come to think of it, I'm probably repeating this cycle because that's what I grew up with at home and in some weird way I freak out when things are too orderly for too well.

Either way, I'm sick and tired of this mess and will cowboy up and have a serious go at uncluttering, gonna fill a suitcase with things I don't need now and store it away, gonna fill a box with stuff to throw out or give away.

I guess I'm making this thread because I desperately need some sort of accountability and maybe someone will get motivated to get shit done as well. Will report back with progress.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Charlotte Bardham - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 13:35:09 EST BsjxQkWc No.530677 Reply
>>530661
I can't keep my shit clean, I am terrible at cleaning and lazy. But what I found was that just trying to make things less dirty was easier. I'd just think "I'll just do this and this, it's not much it helps" and often do much more because once you're started it's easier to keep going. But even then it's easier to clean more if instead of trying to complete this mammoth impossible unending task you're just doing a little work to improve things.
>>
Basil Dellymadging - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 16:28:29 EST /NhOIi62 No.530683 Reply
>>530677

YES! This actually works to some degree, like get the ball rolling and build momentum.

Family trouble

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- Fri, 26 Jul 2019 08:21:29 EST A6h79yQ4 No.530612
File: 1564143689310.jpg -(4824B / 4.71KB, 293x172) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Family trouble
Hi
Long story short my mom discovered she had breast cancer a few years ago and she went through the chemo and all the process and it was tough on everyone etc...
then she was getting better and "beat" it.... but after a while became very deppressed and didnt do much stayed at home alot, until my dad convinced her to see a psychologist and after a few sessions she went to a psychiatrist and got pills of a nature i dont know about and neither approve of but im not medically trained and i couldnt bother to argue with them about it because its been tough already and i didnt want to influence her... just "let the proffesionals do their job" kinda thing...

Thats in a nutshell..
recently she has been up and about, which is good, but also she has like outbursts of anger and shes just acting very strange, talking much more and kind of over-hyper, as well as plain hateful towards my dad and i dont really recognize her...
she does reckless things like drive out by herself and walk about with no water or cover (its hot here)... stuff like that.

its possible the drug needs to be changed or tuned down or changed?
she quit the psychologist sessions because of "feeling better"
the psychiatrist seems to just prescribe and not give a fuck how it affects, which is ridiculous but maybe its just how it works..
Its impossible to talk to her about it
because shes very defensive and has accused my dad that hes the one in need of help and not her,
and if someone brings it up she can scream and accuse and get really angry and victimized (my father is trying to ask close relatives to talk to her)
she wont even talk to her mom, she used to talk to her alot....

she acts like all is normal when i see her.
dont know what to do she literally wont hear a word my dad says
we cant force her it needs to come from her
what do
17 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Alice Pockshit - Sun, 28 Jul 2019 07:28:25 EST loFqoohq No.530641 Reply
>>530612
sorry read through it but forgot that it was some type of cancer medication.

Too high onDXM/Etizolam/ and hydrocodone.

Hello

Locked Banned View Thread Reply
- Fri, 26 Jul 2019 19:33:40 EST b7REUSTl No.530623
File: 1564184020194.png -(9579B / 9.35KB, 250x250) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Hello
Hello, I hope you are well, I write here because some friends suggested that maybe I could get some help in this forum. I am from Venezuela, unfortunately for those who do not know, Venezuela is experiencing a very serious crisis in the economic, social and health situation. every day things get more difficult in our country and it is very difficult to survive day by day. nevertheless the Venezuelans are fighters and we like to continue trying to obtain some opportunity. but we have reached a point, at least in my case where we are already running out of ideas. I do not know what to do. Simply, that's why I copy in this forum trying to get suggestions that I can make through the internet to get money. Venezuela is experiencing a terrible crisis that apparently is not going to change soon, this is getting harder every day and the level of corruption and communism is growing by leaps and bounds, leaving all Venezuelans who live on a minimum salary with crossed arms to Bring bread to our homes. This communism has finished with shops, families, homes, food and much more. The only thing we have left is the internet as an alternative means of obtaining money along with the Bitcoin cryptocurrency that has been of great support for many Venezuelans. I hope to receive suggestions on the subject I would like to know the opinion of other people and who can suggest me what types of work I can find on the net, Thanks for your time.

BTC XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxx

This post was edited by DrWorm on 27-07-2019 05:10:32
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Matilda Gankinville - Sat, 27 Jul 2019 01:48:05 EST loFqoohq No.530627 Reply
>>530623
>>530623

Hola hermano Venezolano..

Soy mexicano pero tambien americano y yo se que muchos de tu gente esta teniendo muchos problemas.

Por que no tratas de jugar un juego llamado RUNESCAPE.

Muchos de tus hermanos de tu pais lo juegan y accumulan ORO or (GOLD PIECES/ GP) en el juego y lo venden por dinero. Se que muchos de la gente que hace "farm gold" hacen mas dinero jugando un juego en el internet que trabajando como burro aya.

RUNEScape is a good game.

Look up monkey farming methods. Log in and farm that gold. Sell and get paid bro.

You'll make more playing video games from the comfort of your own home than you will working a real job with how fucked your economy is.

What do you got to loose? You just need a semi cheap computer and internet, and paying for memebrship but that is easy to do with in game gold. and doesn't cost too much 6-10$ per month.

Bad roommate

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- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 06:06:44 EST uA3i9PDo No.530590
File: 1563962804939.jpg -(62385B / 60.92KB, 720x540) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Bad roommate
>move in with dude May 1st
>I’ve been living on my own for 10 years and he never moved out of his moms
>he gets into some bs argument with his mom and blocks her
>she calls my landlord to get ahold of him

That was the first strike. She called my landlord to start some drama so she could get ahold of my roommate. Cussed out my landlord that our stove was broken which I was already working on getting fixed

>tonight
>I’m working 60 yard lawn install landscaping
>keep in mind my roommate washes dishes 3 times a week and I work 2 jobs landscaping and delivering pizzas, he has money from dead father and I’m consistently broke
>go to bed at 10, wake up at 3
>music blaring, put some clothes on and stumble out of my room
>there’s 3 niggas I’ve never seen before and 2 bitches
>bitches are twerkin, both smell like complete shit and have dreadlocks
>one of the niggas tells me he’s on acid
>it’s now 5
>I gotta wake up in an hour for work and these people are all coked out and shit

Yo I got this dudes rent money. Should I just like abandon this apartment and run away to go see tipper with his rent money? I got like $800, about 10 hits of acid and an eighth of shrooms, a car with 200k miles, a terrible credit score, a bunch of credit cards that are about to bounce, and basically nothing. Everyone in my family has completely given up hope on me. I could steal his ghetto blaster on the way out and flip it for an easy $3-500. I’m at wits end and this is just too crazy
2 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 10:48:21 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530593 Reply
What do you gain from posting this shit here? If it really happened the way you say it happened you're a fucking dunce. Clean up your mess.
>>
Edwin Brookhood - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 13:01:00 EST E508VR5x No.530596 Reply
1563987660298.jpg -(38944B / 38.03KB, 360x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Follow your dreams, OP
>>
Hamilton Simblenirk - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:48:15 EST ka63e54W No.530621 Reply
>>530590
is it even viable? as in, is your name tied to it? will they find you? etc. think about what would happen, idk your situation. also, do you like your landlord? kind of a dick move

Technical term

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- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 05:05:45 EST hiKxQg3e No.530589
File: 1563959145958.jpg -(148125B / 144.65KB, 1200x808) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Technical term
For something like oppositional defiant disorder but for adults, maybe some kind of personality disorder? I absolutely hate being told to do something. It's not simple contrarianism. If I wanted to do it and somebody ordered me, I'd still do it, I'd just be annoyed. I absolutely hate not being the boss of my own work but I don't really like bossing people around. I hate cliques with hierarchies, and I hate it when people who are friends don't want to be equals in most ways (of course, if you're better at football, I better recognize it and vice versa.)

Is this normal?
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:36:41 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530603 Reply
>>530597
Or maybe you need to go outside your comfort zone. Maybe you need practice letting someone else lead and being mindful of their faults and imperfections in order to contextualize your own leadership and recognizing that you are similarly fallible.
>>
Nigel Blurrybut - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:57:42 EST I9kRwl6G No.530604 Reply
>>530589
There's a line between being a bit grumpy and have a disorder.

I think I sympathise or outright empathise with a lot of what you're saying but it depends how easily it winds you up. Even in a fair functional society you will frequently be junior to someone else in many regards, often many different people. I work with a bunch of managers who have to give actual orders to people and in the end they make the decisions but there's some areas they cede to me because I am the specialist. My actual "boss" never tells me to do stuff, he always asks. The expectation and social contract is that if it's a reasonable request I'll do it but manners are free (except time, this is why some of my managers give orders rather than say "can you do this", they work in time critical life or death situations). The "boss" in a functioning hierarchy is a) only in charge in that context and b) has the bigger picture knowledge. At "Higher" levels they become increasingly generalist, while they cede to the experts like me, they make the final call because they have the bigger picture. it's their job to understand that and they can do so in a way the various people who feed them information and act on their behalf can't. Someone has to organise those people.

You obviously can put your head down when you need to, so if your life was on the line you can suck it up so it's not that bad.

Maybe you have a disorder. If you can get over it well enough to function day to day with a few adjustments and little misery it's fine. If you find even just being asked to do stuff by people who should be asking you to do stuff will stress you out then yes, something isn't right.

Having said we need a hierarchy, even if it's situational, for a functioning society I do think people who want to lead just to lead are often not to be trusted. Sometimes people just need the money, or no one else will do it, sometimes they want to make a change or because they mastered every other challenge and are bored (my manager's manager's manager might end up a CEO or something if she doesn't stop finding a new job every time her current one stops challenging her), but some people just want to be at the top and they are often scum and maybe you've met too many of them during your life.

Social hierarchies with "leaders" are similar. I had a group of friends with a "leader" who manipulated and schemed and made sure she controlled everything and she's one of the worst people I ever met and I regret ever saying hello to her. However a lot of the time in more laid back circles certain people organise stuff, take charge, exude charisma or whatever and everyone looks to them. Are those people a problem or just the latter?

I wonder if you're just a bit hurting and tender rather than permanently fucked up in the brain. Therapy or whatever might help, maybe time will help or maybe you are crazy.
>>
Cyril Fanford - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:42:10 EST 4HBTyuBX No.530620 Reply
>>530604
I think this guy got it. I mistrust people who WANT to lead.

>>530603
Don't really think I force people to lead that's something you're not understanding. I don't like to boss, just prefer to be treated like an equal in decision making processes and not be told to do something regardless.

Going fucking insane from unrequited love

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- Mon, 01 Jul 2019 18:15:11 EST 8DXKLi1o No.530142
File: 1562019311299.png -(259718B / 253.63KB, 576x432) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Going fucking insane from unrequited love
I fell in love with a friend... Again.

I can't go on like this. I need to quit this job before I kill myself from the hurt. It hurts so bad.

I can't fucking help myself. The first time it happened, it happened slowly over a period of a year. She was pretty enough. Too pretty for me, so I never pursued her or showed interest. But we became friends and we hung out together outside of work. I got to know her more and more until eventually I started dreaming of her. I started thinking of her from sunrise to sunset. For a period I lost sleep because I couldn't stop thinking of her. Goddamnit.
I finally confessed to her one day that I was falling in love with her. That's all I said. She didn't know what to say. The next time I saw her she tried to be friendly and I ignored her. I was an asshole to her because didn't know how to handle it. I tried to apologize (badly). We fought a bit through text messaging. And then she stopped talking to me for a few months. I thought I would never love again.
But as time went on, things thawed. She got in and out of a relationship. We started talking again (the job kind of forced us). One year later it's like it never happened.
When I was in love with her, I was blind to her flaws and I idolized her. I thought she was the perfect woman. It felt like she was put here on this earth just for me, which is a very stupid and selfish thing to think, but that's how it felt at the time. It took another year for me to discover enough personality flaws that I fell out of love.

But now it's fucking happening again. Only, this time it's a bit different.

I met her around the time when I had feelings for the first girl, so at the time I was totally not interested in a romantic way.

But time has passed. Slowly I've come to see how beautiful she is. How sweet and charitable she is. But she's not flawless. She's open minded in some ways, yet she has said some close-minded things. She's less learned than the first girl, but she's also more honest in what she doesn't know. She's so much more laid back and chill than the first girl. She isn't as ambitious and doesn't have goals to find a better job yet, unlike the first girl. She's religious, but accepting of things taboo in her religion.
I asked her (perhaps not subtly) what she looks for in a man and she replied with: "someone with the same mindset". I asked her if that means he has to be of the same religion and she replied "not necessarily".

My point is, I tried my best not to idolize her. BUT I FELL FOR HER ANYWAYS.
Even after she diplomatically said "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" when we were having a conversation about relationships. That answer crushed all my hopes, because I've heard it before. The first girl said it to me in almost the exact same way.

Yet despite the reality of the situation, I still can't stop dreaming of her (non of my dreams are sexual). I think about her all goddamned day. I can't watch movies, play games, study or read without thinking of her. I want to be with her all the time.

Fuck. FUCK. What do I do? Someone fucking help me because I don't know if I can take this shit again. Is this really the rest of my life? Always a groomsman, never the groom. It's literally torture to me.

This is perhaps my biggest flaw. I cannot I CANNOT stop obsessing over what my mind has decided is the most important thing in the world right now.
I know it's not, but god help me, because I can't.

How do I become a monk if I am not religious? Will cutting off my balls prevent this from happening again? I have goals I need to accomplish, but I can't do shit when I'm under this goddamned spell.

Seriously, help me.
29 posts and 4 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 10:50:12 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530595 Reply
>>530587
Fuck that get high and jack off thinking about her, Opie.
>>
Hamilton Simblenirk - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 14:24:33 EST ka63e54W No.530617 Reply
>>530142
>>530142
>>530142
>>530142
i think the only way forward is to never interact with her, stop thinking about her, do not indulge. try to get a new job if you can. a better one, somehow and hopefully,
>>
Alice Diblingstock - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:09:50 EST c/uAObnR No.530619 Reply
>>530587
This is what uncles sound like. Don’t listen here. And if you’re using your advice and blocking with drugs as opposed to learning to deal with it, the Next i feel bad for you one day. Shit catches up to you fast.


Op, you remind me of Andy from the office when it comes to dating. Trust me when I say you have to try actually dating outside of the workplace. Especially this day and age, women are more like to scream rape or harassment these days, and you have no defense at work.

Socialize with the intent of meeting new people and finding a date. You don’t seem to be a beta as you actually seem smart enough to speak honestly. But imagine what happens if both co-workers find out you tried them both, or like you were tossing your dick around to see what hole it lands in. Doesn’t look good at all.


I’d start focusing on the idea that you need to keep looking for someone who wants to be with you. The pain doesn’t go away tomorrow, or even next week. Sorry, our brains and emotions coupled with uniqueness of personality and situation makes it impossible to have an instant cure.

having trouble following dreams/visions

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- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:10:44 EST dJEw/uJZ No.530601
File: 1564002644411.jpg -(577803B / 564.26KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. having trouble following dreams/visions
Recently I've been getting some very attractive visions of the future, things that not just I would like to happen, but also I could very much see happening with the right amount of effort concentrated in the right direction. I know it's not literally my future because the vision is usually based off of my desire for how the future should turn out, but still, it's almost like a dream in waking life. I can see and experience what I'm doing down to such small details.. To me it feels like something inside of me that is much more powerful and intelligent than me is listening to my thoughts and showing me some sort of simulation of how things could turn out if I follow my thoughts. Is there anything I can do to concentrate this into real life and make it come true? Any practices or hints in the right direction for helping something totally imaginary become reality
>>
Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:32:29 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530602 Reply
Work hard every day to achieve your goals? Not sure what you're asking beyond that. I have similar optimistic daydreams of the future and the more possible they seem, the bigger I dream.
>>
Nigel Blurrybut - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 18:30:53 EST I9kRwl6G No.530605 Reply
>>530601
Work out what you'd need to do to achieve it. Break that down into bits you can actually manage. When I lost 140 pounds I did it maintaining a deficit for a prolonged period of time. I did that by eating a certain amount and exercising a certain amount and adjusting that as my weight fell. But in the end the actual steps I could do were one meal, one gym session, adding up to one day at a time. After 18 months I achieved my goal. I've done similar things with study (while working), make sure I've studied this much this week, 20-30 minutes a day week nights, a couple of much longer sessions over weekends. One module at a time.

Have a goal, have the broad stages, have how you'll achieve each stage and then do it day by day.

Am I the only one???

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- Sun, 30 Jun 2019 09:43:59 EST 1IaPv+if No.530097
File: 1561902239951.jpg -(29137B / 28.45KB, 500x350) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Am I the only one???
Am I the only one who was raped as a small child???

The neighbor who would babysit me after elementary school having me suck him when I was like 6 (i was in first grade)... and it went on for wayyyyy to long.....
41 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Cyril Clibbercocke - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 15:23:38 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530598 Reply
>>530584
>>530586
>black people exist so segregation is okay
>males commit sexual violence at a higher rate so only targeting them with segregation practices is okay
>>
Archie Brirringtark - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 15:27:44 EST L671q8jt No.530599 Reply
>>530598
Do not engage with /pol/tards. If they insist on shitting up a thread with this garbage, just report them.

I must tell you all...

Locked Banned View Thread Reply
- Sun, 21 Jul 2019 23:11:58 EST 6AWMGWu+ No.530563
File: 1563765118930.jpg -(114656B / 111.97KB, 624x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I must tell you all...
I am Obama's nephew
>>
Fuck Bogglesin - Tue, 23 Jul 2019 12:42:01 EST Lny7/LNo No.530580 Reply
You're still going to have to get a fucking job like everyone else, Martin.

my mom is a problem

View Thread Reply
- Fri, 12 Jul 2019 15:36:08 EST fYcEWufn No.530385
File: 1562960168457.jpg -(12415B / 12.12KB, 200x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. my mom is a problem
i'll try to make this post as digestible as possible since any callout to a family member seems to get preventive mixed reactions regardless of its content
either way, i love my mom, she's a sweet person, she took care of me with her best efforts for all of my life and i will always be grateful to her for that
but me and the rest of my family have come to the point where we can't just bear her presence in our life anymore, not me, not my dad, not my brother, all for different reasons
what's the deal? she's just... not bright, and its not like einstein blood runs in our family, far, faaar from it, but the wide disconnect there is between what everyone tells her and what she makes of it is laughable
everyone's tired of starting a crusade every single day over stuff that could be easily solvable if dealt by someone not necessarily smart, but functional, only because she can't be bothered to listen to any point of view that doesn't perfectly match hers
and if it were only for me i'd go "whatever, moms gotta mom, its bad but it could be worse", but she is cutting ties or making them harder to maintain with many people in both my family and hers
she brought this upon herself, but i don't wanna see her like this, she's not selfish, she has not bad intentions, she's just... dumb
god i just want to help her to be a happier person but any attempt i make at an intimate conversation ends in me istantly wanting to give up because she's just so unaware of how she's perceived by people
20 posts and 8 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hamilton Fupperson - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 06:46:33 EST pfQYdJPP No.530530 Reply
>>530529
Listen loser, if you're going to sit around and confirm everything you have in your head, start a blog.
>>
Martin Gugglenotch - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 14:21:35 EST qTml9FbR No.530541 Reply
1563646895539.jpg -(56233B / 54.92KB, 256x256) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>530529

Shit I'm totally listening to that album right now dude, fuck yeah. Can you believe they started playing again? New music and everything, I might see them live this fall. nb.

Wasted last decade of my life

View Thread Reply
- Sun, 14 Jul 2019 23:58:42 EST qO/8g1OW No.530426
File: 1563163122565.gif -(142953B / 139.60KB, 500x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Wasted last decade of my life
>been on various *chans for the last 10+ years (since late 2007)
>haven't accomplished shit in that time and just squandered a lot of time and money on bullshit
Why can't I work towards anything meaningful? I feel like I'm always saying tomorrow but tomorrow never comes and the years just whittle away in the meanwhile.
16 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:45:53 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530502 Reply
If OP stops contributing to the internet we could fucking kill myself
>>
Cedric Fablingnene - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 12:40:07 EST Lny7/LNo No.530509 Reply
Take small steps, and do it on drugs like >>530436 did. Fix the little things about yourself that bother you first. Try out new clothing, new food, new places with new things. All until you either find something to put effort into or realise you're better off safe in your home.

>>530465
Is also right, life itself these days is a bit of an accomplishment whether you have a job or spend most of your time behind a PC. Fuckton amount of time that goes into maintaining an adult body, feels so much better when you do though.
>>
Nell Bremmerdale - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 15:47:08 EST nrs1TIWF No.530511 Reply
this is me too, op. i just don't care anymore. wish i was dead. i don't want to make an effort because it all leads to shit anyway. i'm very good at procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities. i got bills to pay but have been unemployed for months. the bill people are calling and mailing me and i ignore it. they can just turn off the service idgaf. i want to be successful but i hate living in this society. let me waste away on chans for some tiny bit of happiness before i finally get a chance to off myself.

tired

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 25 May 2019 03:30:20 EST +eu7fILs No.529527
File: 1558769420064.jpg -(11397B / 11.13KB, 239x211) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. tired
what do i do if im always ungodly tired. like you have no idea

>need to sleep 12 hours a day
>still tired
>tried 7 hours a day for months
>just get more more more more more more tired every day
>feel completely out of it
>need to eat non stop greasy fat ass food like deep fried pizza shit to have energy non stop
>stimulants make me tired
>long acting stims like ecstasy will make me feel so tired i feel scizo or something my brain doesnt work right and i feel so crazy and restless
>eyes are always black
>as soon as i wake up my eyes hurt
>cant sleep at night
>usually sleep all day stay up all night ruining my life
>my eyes always hurt burn and sting
>the bottom part of my eye lid under my eye is completely black purple and red going down all the way to my cheek
>always feel sick
>cant even keep my eyes open after 12 hours of sleep
>the bottom part of my eye lid thats completely black fucking hurts stings and burns all day long
>the entire time my eyes are open they burn and sting and feel like shit
>literally look like the joker from the batman movies or uncle fester from that old ass show
>health is always failing
>get nauseas really easy
>if i smoke weed or do anything i just get more and more and more tired
>if i drink alcohol for some reason it half way goes away
>i get energy dont feel exhausted look a little better and healthier
>never found anything that helps better than alcohol
>i am literally always completely destroyed in depression i have nothing good in my life because god rips it all away
>never smile
>just makes it all worse
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Frederick Bindlesudge - Thu, 04 Jul 2019 19:28:15 EST ka63e54W No.530209 Reply
>>529527
bro, not even kidding, do a 10 day fast. it cured my lifelong depression
>>
Graham Panningstock - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 03:18:09 EST NyncnM+Y No.530503 Reply
>>529527
Go see an optometrist, your eyes b could be overworking and shit

its been 7 months

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- Fri, 05 Jul 2019 15:40:21 EST 7kSRug3p No.530217
File: 1562355621073.jpg -(142949B / 139.60KB, 960x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. its been 7 months
I put my cat down 7 months ago.

some context: I found him as a stray, he literally came up to my car and jumped in. the next few years of my life were absolute hell as my parents were getting divorced (I was 18 at the time, just graduated) and this cat was so therapeutic for me. he loved car rides and walks. I would take him for long ass walks and despite him being 12 years old he always kept up. then I got into a very serious car accident. then my best friend/girlfriend left me. then I moved away with no plans to get away from my parents violence. my depression and anxiety (I have borderline personality disorder) was through the god damned roof and this cat was my literal saving grace. he went everywhere with me. I even brought him to work every day with me and he just chilled with me in my office all the time.

this cat was my best friend. im not saying that in some stupid corny way but he was literally attached to my hip. I would bring him to the outside market and he would chill in the cart and would get attention from every single person there. my cat was diabetic and it was hard to manage. the last few months of his life it was hard to regulate his diabetes and I just had a gut feeling this was the beginning of the end. january comes around and he stops eating. he would meow and meow at me for food but wouldnt eat anything. he wanted to live so bad and fought it so hard but his body wouldnt let him. he lost 3 lbs in this period and started developing ketones and eventually ketoacidosis. I felt so fucking horrible. I delayed putting him down because I thought maybe he would come to. I didnt want to believe it. then he started trying to hide. I knew I had to do it. I stayed through the entire process and watched him go limp. I've never bawled and cried so hard in my god damned life. I couldnt even speak to the vet techs. I just bolted out of there and they kept saying sorry and all that, very nice people, but I couldnt even talk I just ran out the door and cried and cried. as I type this I'm crying like a baby. full on ugly bawling. its so fucking traumatic for me relive this memory and I keep having to take breaks typing this.

I miss him so much. I feel so fucking stupid. I never cried this hard even after losing family and friends. my best friend died recently and I didnt cry as hard. not because I dont care about them but this fucking cat was my god damned life. will it ever get easier? its been half a year and I still feel just as upset and have my weekly breakdowns. what the fuck can I do?? I attempted suicide twice after his death. I need to find a solution because this is taking over my life. I want him back so bad :( pic related, its my lil dude. im crying so hard right now people are starting to ask what the fuck is going on. its so loud I cant even hide it anymore. fucking christ.
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Augustus Buzzford - Tue, 16 Jul 2019 13:45:55 EST Lny7/LNo No.530456 Reply
Been 10 years and my dog's death is still a fresh wound, so...Good luck, OP.
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Matilda Honeyson - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 17:41:12 EST kspz5NC8 No.530492 Reply
>>530217
OP

I hope you're still with us and I hope you read this.

I'm so sorry for your loss, nothing else compares to the pain of losing an animal friend and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You know it, and I know it.

I had to put my best buddy down September when I found out he had cancer on his heart. It was the worst thing I have ever gone through, I loved him so much.

I ended up taking two months off work on stress leave because I was so gutted. No one knew what was really going on, just that I was freaking out... so I get it.

We spend more time with our furry friends than we do anyone else. We see them daily, for hours and hours. We sleep with them, wake up to them. They see us when we're at our worst and still come for pets and cuddles. They are always there and that's why their loss is so hard. All they are is furry balls of love and it just.. it hurts so much to say goodbye. I don't know if it ever goes away, but it does lessen a bit.

There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

You loved someone deeply, and they're gone now.


I got another kitten. I'm not saying this is right for you, only you can know that. Initially I thought I never would, because I couldn't bear the thought of *replacing* my buddy - but here's why I did.

One of my friends, one who knew why I was so sad - she sat me down and told me I clearly still had so, so much love in me to give, and there were so many abandonned, unloved cats that really needed the love I had, they are hurt or scared or alone don't yet know how wonderful life could be when they're loved - and that I owed it to my old guy to make another little guy's life better, so they could know the love my old guy did. So I went to a special needs cat rescue and got the derpiest little runt, who has a host of problems, but is so sweet and loving, a fat little butterball that loves cuddles.
And every single day I still think of my old guy but I know I have someone else that depends on me now, and I stay strong for him.

I have my old guy's ashes in a jar, and a print of his paw I'm getting inked on, on the anniversary of his death. And just writing this is bringing up so much pain from his death.. I'm crying to myself at my keyboard here.. it feels like I will always have a small cat-shaped hole in my heart, that was exactly his outline. When my little guy goes, I'll have another one. But I still have a lot of heart left, and so do you.

What this guy said:
>>530234
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Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:42:13 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530501 Reply
That sucks OP but this is a funny part of putting MY dog down which sucked and I cried that might cheer you up

For like two years (yes, two years) before my dog died his asshole was bleeding. How you may ask? Well I'm not sure but pretty often he would bend back and actually bite and TEAR this fucking tumor or hemmorroid or whatever growing on his asshole until it made the sound of cloth tearing and actually ripped and bled and it was just horrific

He did this with people over sometimes

We actually took him to the vet pretty often and they were just like time to put him down but I always put it off cause I loved the guy and like whatever his asshole bleeds constantly, OK

He couldn't shit right after a while and would try to make it to the door but if I wasn't right next to it it was shit and blood on the floor time

Every time he was laying down and would get up there would be a spot of blood on the floor and my mom would see it and shriek in terror and et cetera

Then you think it's all good and he's a good dog and good boy and he gets up mid-nap and just starts fucking tearing his own asshole open

I know this sounds hilarious but I'm dead serious about this, he didn't seem to be in pain so I just let it go

One time my brother took a picture of it and sent it to all his friends with the caption "just got done fucking my dog" lmao

It was the nastiest anus you could ever imagine on an animal and when he would tear the shit open I would try and stop him and he'd just give me this pissed off "fine" look

Still not sure if it was even cancer

Then one day his legs broke and we took him to be put down and my brother was like thank God lol

It really sucked when he couldn't hold his shit for like the last full year and every fucking day I had to clean up this nasty half-liquid stinky dog shit off the carpet that would ALWAYS leave a stain, and of course blood

Sometimes I'd leave it for like four hours cause he'd do it again shortly whatever but the stink would get so bad four hours was like maximum

Being a drunk was alright I guess

help

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- Mon, 24 Jun 2019 00:23:37 EST Y/IBjRot No.529970
File: 1561350217789.jpg -(40208B / 39.27KB, 190x295) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. help
I've known this dude my entire life and hes always been a weird nerd. A few years back i got him into weed and psychedelics. He got married around the same time and is in a very controlling, manipulative relationship. He has just become weirder and weirder since. He got on anti depressants this year and started seeing a counselor and now his life is fucked.

The other day he came over here and we dosed acid and shrooms all day long. He told me he was gay (I suspected this for years but it feels forced, like a statement) and his wife stallions him and in return he can fuck dudes. He was talking about sucking dick all day long. It was honestly extremely uncomfortable and strange. My brother other brother naked and started telling my brother whose 6 years old that he likes to suck dick and get fucked in the ass by dudes. It was honestly extremely awkward since we've known this guy our entire lives and have never heard him say anything like this and we were all on shrooms.

As the night went on it just got weirder and weirder. He kept mooching weed and cigs even though I had never heard of him smoking cigarettes in his life. It seemed like he was massively traumatized. He defended james gunn for the sex offender accusations which really bothered me. He made a point to tell me that it doesnt matter and i can take my opinion and shove it up my ass. He started talking about how he was an alpha male and his wife was actually the one getting fucked over.

At the end of the night he was talking to some girl about getting his cock sucked that wasn't his wife. He said he was doing it to get this dude to fuck him too. I'm pretty sure he masturbated in my bathroom. He kept asking to see pictures of my dick and calling me beta for not showing them to him. It was very very strange honestly. He kept trying to talk about how powerful and manipulative he was and it all just sounded like bullshit.

I don't even know what to say. I'm so embarrassed my brother saw and heard that. It was so uncomfortable. I could give a shit what he does in his free time but i dont need to hear the dirty ass details for 12 hours. At one point he told me I was a reincarnation of a nazi my grandfather killed in ww2. He seems extremely fucked up sexually and somewhat deranged. I have known this person my entire life and honestly don't care to see or here from him for at least the past 6 months, the shit he was saying was honestly somewhat horrifying.

just had to get that off my chest and don't really have anyone i can talk to about this. Luckily he lives an hour from here now. I'm gonna try to stay busy all summer to avoid him. I don't want to hear about this shit. Theres alot of traffic in my house and alot of people in and out, I live in a popular hipster urban area in a very nice apartment and me and my roommate have many friends. I don't want anyone else to have to hear this shit for hours, christ sake. I honestly feel like a dirty, bad person for even being associated with this dude and that my friend is a deranged sicko.
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Martha Sebblenag - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:48:59 EST j9agoklL No.530497 Reply
>>529970
Yeah he sounds bonkers even if you ignore the gay stuff. I'd stay away personally.
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Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:32:11 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530498 Reply
>he was talking about sucking dick all day long

10/10 master post

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