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Sandwich


Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

Free money for drugs

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- Mon, 10 Feb 2020 22:12:56 EST y1PVAcx4 No.533556
File: 1581390776916.png -(697731B / 681.38KB, 811x964) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Free money for drugs
TBH i just want free money for drugs. been thinking about doing a kickstarter or something so that I could "explore the medical marijuana dispensary more thoroughly" but I expect even this idea would run into trouble even tho i have a med card. anyone got any thoughts on this or any other good ideas? BTC donations? DNM research funding?

I just want free money for drugs
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Esther Chacklesure - Tue, 11 Feb 2020 18:24:21 EST VAcauGzm No.533582 Reply
1581463461538.jpg -(29235B / 28.55KB, 400x366) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
This thread is dogshit

Starting to fall in love after a LONG time.

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- Mon, 10 Feb 2020 23:45:36 EST 6LCI1CKD No.533559
File: 1581396336632.jpg -(119405B / 116.61KB, 600x840) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Starting to fall in love after a LONG time.
So Ive been alone for years now, Im not a virgin and ive had a few gfs but it was a long time ago , the relationships were kinda bad and since the last one ended then I never even kissed a girl for at least 6 or 7 years maybe more, depression got in the way and other issues, getting out of my house just for work, drug use, etc.

But recently i started talking to a girl I used to talk years ago, we ended up hitting it up pretty well, we saw each other this past weekend and she told me she was in a similar situation as me, we had a wild night and a lot of fun I actually felt so good and alive it was like a high, I know it sounds stupid but even just getting a hug was incredible. But now the feels are all over the place, I should be feeling pretty happy but im actually kind of sad? Like thinking its not going to work or something.

Im sorry im just venting im pretty high and wanted to share my experience. Im probably not going to remember posting this tomorrow.
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Nicholas Sendlenetch - Tue, 11 Feb 2020 09:22:36 EST 3ScQQ4dj No.533566 Reply
i had the same thing happen to me last year but she moved
just have fun while you can. everything is temporary
>>
Charlotte Clerringnire - Tue, 11 Feb 2020 16:35:23 EST 6LCI1CKD No.533574 Reply
>>533566
Too bad it happened to you , im sure the same thing will happen to me. Its a good answer tho thanks and wish you the best.

Still really depressed today just took a bunch of buprenorphine and xanax so I can sleep/nod a lot.
Sometimes I really hate myself.
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James Covinggold - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 19:15:47 EST sg9WXzAO No.534026 Reply
almost cried reading your latest reply op.
just got heartbroken myself. similar situation to you. everyone wants love and people in their life but you gotta set that desire aside and evaluate if it is worth the inevitable pain and suffering that will follow. its hard and confusing and bullshit to do such a feat and its not easy...pass me some drugs btw
real sad boy hours

Dissed?

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- Tue, 04 Feb 2020 10:46:21 EST gFDxoYPM No.533463
File: 1580831181713.jpg -(433590B / 423.43KB, 750x612) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dissed?
Long story short, a girl I hooked up with last week (an ex of mine from a long time ago) told me that she hooked up with a new guy last night. She brought it up very casual after asking about my weekend. Is this a cue that she wants me to back off? I haven’t talked to her since because she hasn’t messaged me after. I played it cool and told her to have fun. Ugh I think she likes the guy bc she was venting how attached he is to her, but really I bet it’s the other way around.
18 posts and 5 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Lillian Nidgehall - Sat, 08 Feb 2020 22:19:02 EST pYj6G0D2 No.533534 Reply
>>533527
Sometimes it's not about you dude. Girl is unstable and unable to support anyone. You shouldn't pursue these people because you'll get drawn into their issues without getting any support for yourself. That's the takeaway. Work on your self worth and you might think you deserve better in the future.
>>
Žærjah Quahà - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 18:53:39 EST vgf0tTGM No.533550 Reply
1581378819131.gif -(3018829B / 2.88MB, 321x245) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>533463
Y’all are right. I’m actually over it and it doesn’t even seem like a loss at this point. Good points. Appreciated. She is BPD and manic as hell too. She gotta lotta issues and it’s only gotten worse over the years. Thanks again

Mental Institution

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- Sun, 09 Feb 2020 19:56:12 EST a9l1x9a4 No.533543
File: 1581296172863.jpg -(100172B / 97.82KB, 646x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Mental Institution
Any expereinces in Mental institutions as children, teenagers and adults? Tell me everything: what clothes do you wear, what do you do, if you can speak with the nurses, can you receive letters, are there bedrooms, &c.
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Doris Bonkinworth - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 12:20:02 EST 9I7puv9M No.533547 Reply
Mental “institutions” arent really a thing these days. There are psychiatric wards of hospitals, which typically most people do not have extensive stays in. Depending on if the hospital is privately or publicly funded also makes a big difference. If it’s public, you have to be really the sickest of the sick to get in, and they’ll discharge you to community resources as soon as it’s safe to do so. If it’s private you can probably stay there forever if you had the money, but being literally institutionalized is actually worse for your mental health than recovering in the community and learning the skills you need to function in everyday life. Being institutionalized long term just makes everything worse because it’s not real life, so even if you get better in there you’ll be fucked when you get out.

It’s not overly fun to be in the hospital. Other patients can be extremely disruptive and sometimes violent. Nurses do rounds all night and wake you up really early, it can be kinda loud, especially if people have IVs or room call bells beeping. You’d probably do group therapy during the day and maybe puzzles or movies at night. It can be boring.

Some people love it though and think it’s a little vacation from life. But if you want a vacation... take a vacation. If you want to get better then go to the hospital.
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Doris Piggledock - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 12:51:14 EST HDh9BoQH No.533548 Reply
>>533543

bbc have lots of documentaries about psychiatric wards, if you are in the UK. You can watch them on YouTube... there's one about diabulimia, the eating disorder ward, that should be enough to send you down the rabbithole

haven't really seen much in the same light from the US

Comfort In Suicide

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- Mon, 03 Feb 2020 09:59:00 EST tw/KD1ik No.533456
File: 1580741940410.jpg -(61372B / 59.93KB, 720x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Comfort In Suicide
I'm starting to feel a great deal of comfort in the idea of being gone forever. I want the peace of being at rest. I know this isn't normal. I'm 25 years old and I feel like such a burden to everyone I love. I feel like everyone would be better off without me. I'm feeling such comfort in the idea i won't be around to bother anyone. I think about my fiance though, and even though we're going through some really bad stuff.. I'm pretty sure she'll miss me. The only thing keeping me from putting a bullet through my head is the fear I feel when I think of her being alone.

I can't stand this anymore. I see a therapist weekly and I just don't know what to do about it anymore. I feel like offing myself is the only way, but I KNOW it isn't.
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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David Bruddlewore - Thu, 06 Feb 2020 13:03:22 EST VAcauGzm No.533496 Reply
Exploring philosophy and spirituality help me drag myself out of a similar mire.
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Oliver Sazzlelatch - Sun, 09 Feb 2020 23:29:40 EST R1R6pLaQ No.533545 Reply
>>533495
I've attempted suicide in the past. I got super drunk so I couldn't feel it. I sliced my wrist wide open and I was literal centimeters from hitting the vein. If i had hit the vein. I wouldn't be here today. There was so much blood all over still. It looked like a crime scene. I ended up having to get 26 stitches. It scared the fuck out of me. I don't know if I have the balls to try it again. I think it's just ideation though. I find comfort in the idea of being dead and gone, but the actual process of dying and thinking of leaving my loved ones behind is pretty scary.
>>
Graham Berringsark - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 10:53:14 EST lZaOl/t/ No.533546 Reply
>>533545
Well your death is inevitable and in the grand scheme of things 30,50,70 or even 90 years isn't very long. Might as well make the most of your chance to be not dead. If it sucks it will eventually end anyway. And sometimes if you focus on fighting to make the best of things it can turn out pretty good but that does require quite a bit of consistent effort to achieve. Probably better than just waiting for death though.

Ahhhh

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- Fri, 07 Feb 2020 23:58:14 EST TUQC22QU No.533521
File: 1581137894312.jpg -(78394B / 76.56KB, 600x684) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Ahhhh
Hey did you know people can bring you back to life? basically Buddha. Or jehovah, Jesus. So no. Don't you dare!
>>
Nigel Becklewater - Sat, 08 Feb 2020 19:48:19 EST d5QZlOir No.533530 Reply
Buddha might tell you that there's nothing to be brought back from or go to.

I have priorities I desire to fulfill yet I idle

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- Thu, 06 Feb 2020 16:52:19 EST jXnrYFZ3 No.533502
File: 1581025939612.jpg -(62459B / 61.00KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I have priorities I desire to fulfill yet I idle
Hello /qq/ I am troubled with my work ethic lately. I have always managed to get by without doing much but now that I am of age, I have some priorities that I think about all day. Whether it be taking my younger relatives to a theme park, going to an out of state attraction to see (Botanical gardens, national parks) , just finish reading books or start into gamedev. I can't stop my mind from drifting into dreamland where I get these things completed. My mental self clearly desires this yet I idle. What is wrong with me? How do I stop myself from treating time like a fool?
>>
Charlotte Degglebutch - Sat, 08 Feb 2020 22:06:21 EST ZfuDhUgH No.533532 Reply
1581217581375.jpg -(73679B / 71.95KB, 960x576) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>533502
You hurt. Physical exercise can be done in a myriad of ways. If you dislike the exercise options available to you; if you can't stomache climbing a rope or flipping over tires, try ass kegels or rucking or yoga. Keeping your ass in line...
Free your ass and your mind will follow.
>>
Lillian Nidgehall - Sat, 08 Feb 2020 22:08:56 EST pYj6G0D2 No.533533 Reply
You just need to stop when you are fantasizing and acknowledge that it's not going to get you there and then to take the smallest step towards a goal.

Read a chapter of a book, plan the route to the national park etc. Just do little shit until theres only the big thing left because everything else is prepared, and then just jump in, because its not going to be perfect, but imperfect is better than fantasy.

I dont want to work because i dont want to be around people.

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- Thu, 06 Feb 2020 14:44:45 EST kXdTY8d+ No.533498
File: 1581018285394.jpg -(88934B / 86.85KB, 426x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I dont want to work because i dont want to be around people.
Hate jobs.
User is currently banned from all boards 2 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Nathaniel Turveywater - Fri, 07 Feb 2020 22:04:14 EST pv7fDB/U No.533515 Reply
>>533512
Firewatch is mostly volunteer now. Got a buddy in California who makes like, 23$/hr being one of two security guards at a technology campus. Doesn’t do shit but watch YouTube and Netflix all night.

Depending on OPs location that might work better.
>>
Augustus Pittstock - Fri, 07 Feb 2020 22:57:44 EST TUQC22QU No.533518 Reply
>>533512
most wanted job! I'd love to work the parks but no, it's probably hereditary like the millitary and police? try office work.

Seeking real help for the first time

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- Thu, 30 Jan 2020 20:32:10 EST NcPk6vsY No.533418
File: 1580434330748.jpg -(78658B / 76.81KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Seeking real help for the first time
I've struggled with MDD and GAD for most of my life, up until very recently I had tried to manage my issues through prescriptions and informal therapy with my GP. I had been on fluoxetine (prozac?) previously but it did nothing for me and have since been on effexor which seems to be more effective. I'm also prescribed amitryptyline for insomnia and chronic pain, as well as diazepam and then alprolozam to help manage anxiety. I have always been prescribed limited benzos and refills which simply is not enough, I need to take a bar and a half of xanax to even achieve what 0.5 mg (my actual dosage) is supposed to do. I do not benzo binge, although I do take them daily. I have been heavy drinker most of my life, although I've cut back significantly recently over the past year. I also smoked grass frequently which of all things made me feel the best, although I have no reliable source for it and I know it's not an actual solution to my problems. As long as I can remember, I have had sky high tolerance for just about every psychoactive substance there is.

All that out of the way for context. Recently under immense pressure from my family I've decided to seek specialized help. I am all set to see a psychiatrist and licenced mental health counselor.

I want to be as open and honest with them as possible about not only my personal issues but my past drug use (or abuse, I guess). I mean, how do I explain that I just have massive tolerances for just about everything I have ever taken/done? I feel like I'll get diagnosed as classic drug seeking behavior and be forced to cut back or stop taking substances which have literally saved my life. I want to be better, I want to address my real issues and I'm willing to experiment with different anti-depressants or whatever. I'm just super nervous about the whole thing.

Don't know if anyone here has been through anything similar, but any words of advice would mean a lot.
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hedda Fackleman - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 02:59:54 EST CQLzQjHA No.533455 Reply
1580716794880.jpg -(155552B / 151.91KB, 750x853) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
if you are open and honest about your drug use, which I think definitely needs to change in order for you to feel any better (speaking from both personal experienced and as a licenced mental health professional), you're right in that the doctor will ask you to start tapering down to a lesser dose. they won't cut you off cold turkey because you could have horrible withdrawal symptoms if your benzo use is really that high, and that probably wouldn't do you any favors, but they would strongly encourage you to taper down your dose, which you 100% should. The thing about long term and every day benzo use is that studies have shown it actually makes you MORE anxious overtime and worsens outcomes of anxious disorders. so sure, it helps in the moment, but you are doing yourself no favors by continuing to take such large doses.

in addition to the benzos, you'll need to stop drinking.
Drinking makes people more depressed than they already are, again it's the thing where sure in the moment you feel better (sometimes), but in the long term its just worse.

I know all of this is probably bad news bears for you, but some people (like me, for instance) just aren't genetically built for heavy or regular drug use because of underlying psychiatric vulnerabilities. For some people, certain drugs make certain mental health problems even worse, or activate genes that weren't activated before. Weed makes me anxious as F U C K and my brother and sister have both have psychotic episodes, which i also almost had from probably a weed/bad mdma (accidental speed) combo, so i basically cannot do either of those anymore because i might have a psychotic break. I also have MDD, and i was also misdiagnosed with GAD but it turns out that my anxiety just stemmed from my depression, and when the depression went away so did my anxiety.

It sounds like you're a person who is not genetically built for the drug use that you're currently doing (yes alcohol counts as a drug)

no amount of SSRIs, psychotropic drugs, or therapy is going to significantly change how you feel (although it still will probably at least help a little), because none of that stuff even has a real opportunity to work until you quit using so often and heavily. you can't really do the work of therapy if you keep numbing out all the feelings and thoughts that you're supposed to be working with. then you're just going to therapy but not really doing anything because you get home and instead of taking things into practice and thinking about things you just continue to numb out.


ANYWHOMST i am RAMBLING
but I'm glad you're getting some help!

It's no walk in the park and it's gonna suck for a while, but things will slowly get better. It's about tolerating all the initial crap in order to get to the other side (spoiler alert, this process will take several years). It won't be easy and you might relapse once or twice or five times, but it's achievable if you continue to commit to sobriety again after you've relapsed.

sorry for the novella but good luck OP
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Hannah Hommerhood - Wed, 05 Feb 2020 15:03:16 EST BcgArs1M No.533478 Reply
>>533455
>and as a licenced mental health professional

Shame on you.

kill me

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- Thu, 06 Feb 2020 01:35:15 EST TUQC22QU No.533488
File: 1580970915057.jpg -(3475387B / 3.31MB, 4160x3120) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. kill me
I have been doing this for so long. you are obliged to let me die.
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Priscilla Nuvingwine - Thu, 06 Feb 2020 12:41:55 EST LQ4VvGPH No.533493 Reply
Personally, I let everyone die, so go on ahead buddy, you'll get no quarrel from me. I have let millions of people die within my lifetime, never lifted a single finger to intervene once.

Family issues

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- Thu, 02 Jan 2020 21:00:52 EST CRVvPZHe No.533065
File: 1578016852071.jpg -(336149B / 328.27KB, 1280x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Family issues
I am the enough age, to move out of the city. However my parrents wont let me, they insist of keeping me here, I pay them money, which I think help their lives a lot.

Even my doctor, which my parrents send me to, doesnt let me live.

Problem is that I have diagnosed schizophrenia, and trigger of my psychosis is my parrents and fear of going to the hospital and stuff like that. No other really big triggers.

Without the potential to be again handled like a bunch of potatoes or ... I cant describe the total ignorance of surroundings, when you are in hospital here.

When I tell what I dont like to my family, Ive got more of it as "justice", because they are offended by what I tell them.

Without anybody threatening me to go to the hospital, I am fine now. But I am really afraid of geting those injections and being experimented on, because doctors have no Idea, how their stuff really works.

When I use it, without a stimulant, I can sleep 16 hours a day and rest 8 hours, I am trying to find a way to sleep again.

It is not out of my desperate life situation, but its goddamn antipsychotics, which are ultimate tranqualizer.

They can totally wipe out any resistance in you and you scard your plans and obey to order.

They also got me on electroshocks, which really hurts if there is bad anesthesia, and now when I think close to stuff Ive been doing on before shocks, I have immense headache.

They cant even explain to me what medcation is supposed to do, or what is thair problem. All I hear is that I am sick and need medication.

What should I do? Suicide is not an option, I think life can be good after all, but... this situation is so much much fucked up, I cant escape.
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Hamilton Siggleham - Tue, 04 Feb 2020 23:53:49 EST NKOS+aKQ No.533470 Reply
If your parents are a significant trigger, you could leave them. How does your mental illness affect your life? Are you open to any form of treatment for your schizophrenia or do you reject psychology completely?
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Hannah Hommerhood - Wed, 05 Feb 2020 15:01:42 EST BcgArs1M No.533477 Reply
>>533065
Idk man, sounds like you need a lawyer more then doctors. Your fears of mistreatment seem valid and I would start thinking about ways to get independent.

I wasted my Big Mad, qq

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- Fri, 20 Dec 2019 13:36:14 EST DylqhkS2 No.532880
File: 1576866974285.jpg -(26179B / 25.57KB, 632x628) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I wasted my Big Mad, qq
Ehhh, this is dumb.

I worked myself up to be super mad about a situation, and it would have been a justified, righteous anger. I had rules, laws, regulations on my side and I was preparing for war.

Annnnnnnnd then the situation happened and it was completely a non-issue. Not even the slightest blip. And now I'm mad because I don't get to be mad. I'm actually stewing because I didn't get to flip out which, ok - I fully realize is a bit unhinged. Meh.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.

oops

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- Fri, 24 Jan 2020 20:53:15 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533357
File: 1579917195741.png -(165412B / 161.54KB, 317x343) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. oops
I am 25. Almost 30. It is 2020. My university won't give me my fucking film degree (wtf, right? useless) because of some bullshit credit I have no funds or aid to go back and finish.
Can't get ahead. Trapped in a dead town in an apartment I hate, job that I hate, all my money goes to bills and utilities and I don't have a single dollar to spare on a psychiatrist, let alone anything that could enrich my life.
All these people post videos on Youtube and get film careers and entertainment careers and I'm still wasting away in my room. Haven't been able to see my friends. A girl hasn't shown me interest in five years. Just watching my life waste away. If I had a camera or a studio or a shot, I don't even know if I could make something of it if I wanted to because it just wasn't meant to be.

I either have two options; commit suicide or accept that it wasn't meant to be and dedicate the rest of my life to the thing I hate the least. I have stories to tell, or at least I thought I did but I am now realizing that everybody who ever "abused me" or "made me miserable and want to kill myself" was right because I really never was shit to begin with

how does a person cope with failure
22 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Edwin Crunninglock - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 12:55:00 EST ylj3nXrl No.533458 Reply
>>533357
is there a cheaper way to earn those credits? could you pick up the last few credits elswhere and then graduate? TV isn't one of those things where a degree matters, in my experience, it's being in the right place at the right time, knowing people, and persistence. Most of the people I know in TV didn't actually finish their degrees, coincidentally
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Sophie Pittville - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 13:12:47 EST 1VcUBcZx No.533460 Reply
>>533458
This OP, almost every job in life above entry level is attained through nepotism and relationships. Hell thats what college is mostly for, so you can network with people to get better opportunities in the future, the paper degree is just all for show. If you don't have any exisiting connections right now that could help you (hell even a parent being in a company.) then theres not really a lot you can do, But I would recommend just getting a braindead, non-work heavy simple job like being a security guard or night shift attendant Etc. so you can sit around all day and focus on coming up with whatever ideas you have art-wise for you're hobby and see if you could profit off it somehow on your own.
>>
Hugh Greenforth - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 15:41:08 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533461 Reply
>>533460
>almost every job in life above entry level is attained through nepotism and relationships
Not exactly true. But for some fields it absolutely is. Also depends on the employer and management. The places which are best to work tend not to work like this. Even if it's a huge organisation it can apply on a departmental level.

Thoughts on dating more than one girl from Tinder?

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- Sun, 02 Feb 2020 10:36:35 EST 8iggXxK9 No.533446
File: 1580657795072.gif -(1022260B / 998.30KB, 250x251) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Thoughts on dating more than one girl from Tinder?
So I took the time to be sad, got over a breakup and got back out there. I've hooked up with chicks, I'm getting matches and dates etc etc. I've had a really good thing going with this one girl I matched with, but winter session is almost over, and there might be one or two other girls interested in me that will be back on campus soon. Up until now I've been a serial monogamist but now I'm sort of in internal conflict with myself, and wondering if I could see more than one person without causing drama.

Any of you have experience with this? Is this a conversation I need to have with the girl I'm currently seeing, or should I just do it and not cross the streams? Or should I not fuck with a good thing and only focus on her until what we have going ends?
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hedda Fackleman - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 02:37:26 EST CQLzQjHA No.533453 Reply
>>533446
> Is this a conversation I need to have with the girl I'm currently seeing
yes
>>
Hedda Fackleman - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 02:39:12 EST CQLzQjHA No.533454 Reply
>>533452
i think it depends how serious you are, like if you're seeing each other almost every day or multiple times a week, itd be nice to ask the person your seeing

also if youre fucking someone wo a condom and you know both of you are safe, you absolutely have to inform that person youre gonna fuck other people, because aids etc
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Fanny Crandlehene - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 23:48:02 EST 8iggXxK9 No.533560 Reply
OP here, I ended up just dropping the other options and sticking with the girl I've been seeing. Thanks for the advice though, I'm always curious how my fellow stoners approach things like this.

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