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letting go of hate

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- Wed, 17 Jun 2020 18:27:48 EST OuQCp+w8 No.534942
File: 1592432868337.jpg -(198634B / 193.98KB, 1125x1112) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. letting go of hate
I have so much hate in my heart towards my ex-gf its unbelievable. It's been 2 years since we broke up but I think about her everyday and I cant keep myself from getting totally fucking pissed off. I firmly believe she destroyed my ability to love anyone ever again. When I first met her I was totally infatuated with her and she was really fucking attractive. I should've seen all the red flags. There is so much shit but let me condense it to this.

>She was 7 years older than me(she was 30 and I was 23)
>She had 2 kids that were 10 and 12 years old
>Pathological liar
>I would bend over backwards to make sure me, her, and her 2 kids would have a place to live whether it be a hotel, motel or whatever.
>I would be the only one that would ever work a job or have some sort of income.
>Her mother ends up taking custody of both kids due to her own fucking shenanigans
>Continues to fuck everyone she can while she gets deeper and deeper into drugs
>My dumbass would believer her lies
>Finally hustle my ass off to get us a 1 bedroom apartment
>I was working all day everyday and would only have 1 day off evey 2 weeks.
>I'd leave money on the table every morning to make sure she was taken care of
>Come home from work one evening on payday
>An acquaintance of mine is over hanging out in my living room.
>"He's just visiting and wanted to hangout with you" she says
>Keep in mind she doesn't know him at all
>Become very suspicious
>She then disappears for like 2 days
>Comes back with some bullshit story
>Notice she has him in a call while we argue
>Accuse her of cheating and kick her out of the house
>I went ahead and disappeared and stayed with a friend for a few weeks
>She ends up getting married to this guy after knowing him for like 2 months

It pisses me off because all I did was work hard for her and she wanted to hangout with this fucking guy and get high and smoke crack and shoot heroin with him. She became so fucking ugly because of drugs(she never used drugs when we first met) and then she has the fucking audacity to email me and tel me I'm the reason her life is currently fucked up and she lost her kids. She spreads lies about me to mutual friends and tells them insane shit like I tried killing her and shit that isn't even remotely true. She'd also tell people I'm a snitch that works for the police. I want to forget about this cunt so badly but I just cant seem to rid myself of the hatred I have in my hear for her. She's currently in jail right now and every few days I look her up online to make sure she's still in jail and it makes me so happy to see her miserable even though its pathetic that I cant seem to get shake all this hatred I have.
Shitting Wussleman - Wed, 17 Jun 2020 18:51:16 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534943 Reply
The short answer is make sure she cannot re enter your life in any way then focus instead on how good it is you are free of her.

Talk to friends and set them straight, move flat and ideally neighbourhood, cut lines of communication to her. Make sure she cannot easily crawl back in.

Then start celebrating the freedom. Think of her as in the past and not the present of future and think how much better the you without her is.

I knew someone who I don't think will ever be forgiven but I'm not going to pour energy into a grudge. They can't hurt me now, my life is unrecognisable compared to when they influenced it. It's great. Living a great life without them is the best revenge. I won't wish them ill or waste time seeking them out, I will avoid crossing their path and when they come up I remember I don't like them but this thread is the most I've thought about it in a long time. But it reminds me that I'm happy they're gone and you can literally see where their influence ends and I come into my own. Don't spend energy focusing on her suffering. Just think of you.

Hate is a waste of energy, if someone's a thread neutralise them, it's not personal. Once that's done use the energy to enjoy your safety.


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- Fri, 12 Jun 2020 20:26:23 EST HtbIeoJ/ No.534918
File: 1592007983114.gif -(1021333B / 997.40KB, 500x281) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. gurls
Sup /qq/ it's my first time posting here, ive read through some threads and i think my issues fits this board.
First of all sorry for my bad english, its not my nativ language.
So there is this really good friend of mine to whos girlfriend i developed feelings recently. Theres a lot of stuff happening befor but things really started to happen last weekend when my friend left over the weekend and his gf asked me to hang out. So one day she asked me in the middle of the night to hang out to smoke some pot. We spend the night together talking and get kinda close to eachother. She spend the night on the couch. The next day we hanged out in the afternoon. The day after that i went to her place, where she invited me get close to her on the couch where we sort of cuddled i guess. When we got sleepy she invited me to join her in the bed where we watched some tv, beeing close and sometimes touch eachother. After she fell asleep i put my arm over her wich i fucking regret so much. I left quite early after waking up and a few days later she asked me to hang out, wich i wasnt sure i wanted so i told her id be at our friend of our. Later she said she and her bf would coming as well. Usualy she never shows up at said friends home but he does. Anyway at the friends home i was laying on one side of the couch and he on the other (kind of a "C" shape couch) she was sitting more close to me right away and by the end of the evening i had her almost laying next to me, sometimes touching me without me doing anything tbh.

I didnt speak to her since then really. He asked me to hang out today wich was also kind of unusual since we usualy hang out at some other place, where she goes to.
Neither he nor me brought anything up but it has to be obvious to him something is going on. The way they talked to eachother when we ware at my friends place wasnt good at all, im prittey sure they have some issues besides me.
Thats it for now i hope my writing wasnt to horrible. What do you guys think? I really dont want to hurt my friend but i also have kind of fallen for her and their relationship doesnt seem to work out rn. Is it bad for me to kind of expoloit that, and not trying to help them work things out.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Archie Wonderkudge - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 07:33:39 EST a/xNAviH No.534923 Reply

i'm a terrible friend, but i'd ask if they were doing some kinda stallion thing or uncomfortable polyamory.

Otherwise, yeah, I've been there, it doesn't last.
Rebecca Crerringfield - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 07:52:51 EST /Do7dRkx No.534924 Reply
>What do you guys think?
About what? You choose your path in this life. Think about yourself waiting for your girlfriend to text back while she's playing handboob with your best friend.
gst - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 09:49:34 EST HtbIeoJ/ No.534925 Reply
1592056174623.png -(625801B / 611.13KB, 1008x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Thanks, i dont think he would blame me tbh. like i said their relationship doesnt seem to go well for quite some time, but since they live together i think thats keeping them from breaking up so easy i guess.
Yeah i dont try to not let the dating apps get the best of my self, its just super hard to connect to people like this for me.

hahah yeah that would be funny, but i doubt it would work out.
but tbh im not in for it to just get laid.

yeah... fuck, cant imagine the hurt. fuck me for letting it get so far :(

Psychiatric medicine

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- Sun, 07 Jun 2020 03:35:12 EST wzeDR2d8 No.534851
File: 1591515312053.png -(779782B / 761.51KB, 715x677) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Psychiatric medicine
Everyone with whom I share the real shit eating away at me and why I suffer inside want me on SSRIS. I've given them tries, I really have, different ones for plenty of time and nowadays I will flat out refuse them.
I self medicate with benzos alcohol and pot so Im not going to sit here and be self righteous, I've just had issues with ssris and snris in the past and have no intetest in them again.
I'll take benzos if they'll give me them I used to be prescribed 6mg xanax a day at 15 and I've been relapsing hard on the kpins lately.
Im going to be going into therapy this week that seems like it will be able to address both the mental health aspects and the substance abuse.
I'm rambling now but do you guys think I'm just being a stubborn asshole for not wanting to take the SSRIS? it sure feels like it sometime because my mood swings affect my girlfriend and my family, Im just trying to do better for everyone but I have to have my own convictions right?
Just wanted to see if anyone else is very anti serotonin uphibiters.
13 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nicholas Demmlewater - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 04:45:13 EST wzeDR2d8 No.534908 Reply
Very little these days. I just moved from the most beautiful part of the country I've ever lived in to fucking bum fuck florida and there's nothing nice to look at no one nice to talk to or look at. I really just like listening to music and getting very very fucked up and then ideation starts. I want to go to rehab but I'm also not sure I'm ready, everyone hates me though and I think a better alternative is that I found a way to get a gun no papers so I'll do that and drive into the bush or something so no one finds me for a good bit.
Ernest Heckledet - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 18:50:17 EST rYm1IvUX No.534911 Reply
I'm anti-SSRIs, but I have enough sense to make it personal. There was a friend of mine in high school who was night and day without medication.
Ernest Heckledet - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 18:57:11 EST rYm1IvUX No.534913 Reply
I'm anti-SSRIs, but I have enough sense to make it personal. There was a friend of mine in high school who was night and day without medication (ADHD in his case).
I know that the best laid cans of rice often tip over. As a fellow Bumfuckian, I'm going with Emma. There are two freshwater springs here that are great. Alexander and Blue Springs. Alexander raised their rates, but diving in either has become a hobby. Cold water can help shock you awake, at least.

Major regret

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- Mon, 08 Jun 2020 21:52:14 EST IYp/JOZ6 No.534877
File: 1591667534943.jpg -(12563B / 12.27KB, 456x319) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Major regret
Well I never thought I'd be venting here, but why not? I'm about to be a college dropout soon, mostly due to a severe lack of motivation to continue a bullshit major I wasted a few years on. That major being psychology. I'll admit it was an interesting subject and I initially went with it under the impression that maybe just maybe I can help people who are dealing with fucked up shit like my friends. However the more I continued, the more... I guess disingenuous it was. Every advice my professors gave sounded rehearsed or just dripping in a faux well meaning manner. Especially this one guy trying to be very inclusive, but just came off as fucking fake and overbearing. A part of me feels like I'm saving myself the trouble of ending up like them, but at the same time it also feels like I'm going to be missing out on something.

Hopefully I'll manage to find a job, even with what's happening out there.
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Isabella Fogglestone - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 20:52:51 EST DJNQEQQ6 No.534900 Reply
Well hopefully you're not american hey. I dropped out in the last year of my biochem degree and it turned out good for me, but I spent the next few years at my parents getting psychological help and training for an entirely different career as a support worker. I dont regret it at all. I never wanted to get a degree, I just thought I had to because I got good grades. And life is sweet when you're living authentically.

I guess you need to have a good look at your motivations and figure out an unmet need or something. Surely theres a job that will be rewarding for you. I was really depressed back then talking about how no one understood me so I was like hang on a second if I'm sad that I cant connect with people, maybe a job where I connect with people and help them would be good. Shit like that. So what's making you sad right now?
Barnaby Hattingham - Thu, 11 Jun 2020 18:38:56 EST hdZC6pKM No.534905 Reply
Plenty of people get a useless degree like psychology to boost their cv. I dropped out and it didn't matter. Most of my idiot coworkers are collegiate but they're still idiots. Get raised by the schools and turn out a marshmallow or get raised by the streets and turn out unhinged. To marshmallows like yourself my advice would be to stay in school.
Jarvis Pirringsog - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 04:50:25 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534909 Reply
I don't directly use my degree either. It's sort of helpful with my current job and career path now though. Also Psychology also includes some stats if you pick the right modules so there's that. Anyway, if you're nearly at the end OP you might as well finish because it does boost your CV. It proves you have some combination of motivation and talent. Maybe a lot of one and not much of the other, but enough to get stuff done.

cheated on, not even mad?

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- Sun, 31 May 2020 13:10:27 EST BNmGDLDE No.534752
File: 1590945027853.jpg -(48074B / 46.95KB, 721x723) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. cheated on, not even mad?
GF cheated on me.

This is my first relationship and I had felt like we were moving apart a little, but at the same time I thought we had been together for over a year and that initial high of the relationship had worn off and were still going. Never had an argument or anything.

Came home from the doing a little shopping, she had asked me a dozen times to "call before you leave the store in-case I decide I want anything" which obviously, I forgot to do. See a strange car in the driveway, figure a friend was over but no.

If she had asked me if it was ok to sleep with her old fuck buddy I would have said yes. I had thought about asking if an open relationship was possible because I want to see what being with another guy is like. But she didn't ask and I only found out because I came home early. I want to believer her but can I? How can I be sure?

So, I guess I have to ask myself if I want to be in an open relationship or move on?

If I do choose to stay and try out an open relationship? How can I forgive and learn to trust her again? Do I just forgive and move on or do I ask for some kind of gesture to show she is sorry? If so, what?
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Rebecca Pinnerdore - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 11:04:42 EST A5IzVT0o No.534899 Reply
>my first Gf was a lesbian using me as a cover-up boyfriend during school. I didn't even catch on until 10 months into the misery
Jenny Hummerchadge - Thu, 11 Jun 2020 04:02:23 EST T36MuUAK No.534901 Reply
1591862543691.jpg -(129361B / 126.33KB, 602x538) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
whats funny though is we never told each other the truth about either side of it, so I never told her while we were "together" that I got with a girl and She never directly told me about the fact She was in a whole other actual relationship w/ a chick.

Party years later and this ex fucking walks up to me flirting until we make out upstairs and pushing into a wall painting making noise in the bathroom etc. UNTIL HER BITCH OF A GIRLFRIEND COMES FUMING and they left in a hurry. fuck it all.

but yeah the 10 months hurt although she let me take her virginity and then they both ended up married now and my older sister warned me that she thought they were lesbians too. Interesting time. Perks of having a respectable name I guess, whatever makes lesbians given you their virginity and final pre-lesbain union dicking.


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- Thu, 04 Jun 2020 09:52:21 EST zLz8KnuE No.534813
File: 1591278741035.jpg -(60181B / 58.77KB, 300x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. scars
i'm meeting up with somebody i met online tomorrow. i really, really like them, we have great chemistry, and i find them very attractive. there's just one issue; i have very severe self harm scars on my arms. i have no idea whether or not i should tell them beforehand, because it's super fucking hot out atm and i'm going to be wearing short sleeves, or if i should just turn up and hope they won't be grossed out by them. any advice?
12 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Emma Bupperkidging - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 02:24:03 EST ZLNL16wy No.534894 Reply
Be honest but talk about what matters to you.

Writing communities or whatever

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- Tue, 09 Jun 2020 04:45:39 EST 8XFIaawD No.534885
File: 1591692339827.png -(327849B / 320.17KB, 391x575) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Writing communities or whatever
I'd like to give a shot at reading people's short stories and writing a few. But don't really know where to look, I guess I'm just looking for a good suggestion.

I had a three-way relationship at work

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- Sat, 06 Jun 2020 22:12:19 EST 20v+vFtN No.534838
File: 1591495939298.jpg -(713278B / 696.56KB, 3840x2560) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I had a three-way relationship at work
Me and another guy are both supervisors at a jobsite. We made a married woman a supervisor, so I could sleep with her, while she is totally incompetent. The other guy, a friend, is married. He said he wasn't interested and would help me get what I want.

But the first time they are alone together they kiss and I go on a bender, feeling betrayed. He convinced me to stay around and wants me to also kiss and fuck her. So a day later I kiss her with him sitting in a car a nearby. Me and her are done kissing he brings her home and fucks her the next day after work.

The next week I have sex with her. After that things are getting bad, first a pregnancy scare, then she is moving away and then she is on drugs. So I get a message that she is stopping with the both of us but she doesn’t want us change. No fighting between me and him and to not treat her any different. He was always honest with me to a fault, he hates lying and I believed him. So he confirms the story and I think we are both done.

Then some fishy things start happening, he is still texting with her all day and I see hearts passing by on his phone. The next day she is at work again and things are way too normal. At the end of the day, I decide to leave and say that I am going to quit my job so I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore.

She comes over to my place the next day to talk things over, she said that she stopped with me because I love her and we made an agreed at the start there would be no love. I still not sure if I love her but it hurts, so maybe. Later that night he comes over to talk with me and tells me that he lied to me. She never had any intention to quit with him; she only wanted to get rid of me. She lied to save my feelings and he lied because she told him so.

Before she stopped with me I already knew they were talking about getting married. It was probably stupid to think that I could continue to fuck her after that. Now I am stuck in a bad situation. I told her I don’t want to be friends anymore after the lie and now she angry because of that. He and I are still good friends. At work things are really awkward, she can’t do anything work related. So she stands with us the whole day, while I try not to look at her and not speak a word to her.

I don’t what to do, should I quit my job? Now I am drugging myself to make it through the days with her. It is the best job I have ever had; a lot of people working there are my friends. So I feel I lose too much when I give up this job. Do you have any advice?
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Isabella Febberhood - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 06:47:05 EST DJNQEQQ6 No.534866 Reply
>I feel hurt so I must love the girl
After all the fucked up shit you pulled and how selfish you've been, you still only think about how you feel hurt. Guess what, mate the woman wasnt ever going to fill that void inside you. Your half baked scheme was disgusting and I'm glad that it got so fucked up.

Either way you have never been entitled to her love or her sex and you have done the dirty to her. You should be apologizing to her.

Need new friends, but don't have time to find new friends

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- Sat, 30 May 2020 08:46:00 EST zcMKtJVi No.534733
File: 1590842760883.jpg -(219833B / 214.68KB, 1600x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Need new friends, but don't have time to find new friends
Long story short:

>worked my ass off to finally invest in my hobbies (that are snorkeling and filming underwater)
>finally got all the equipment i need
>friends have congratulated me
>but noone ever wants to go out and leave their couch

>finally some free days, we all will have vacation soon
>noone interested in doing anything
> all they do is smoking weed or playing with warhammer figurines or sitting @ their homes together and playing board-games

>when I try to inspire them by showing them the footage of my last dive they are impressed
>but whine about it beeing expensive
>they spend up to 1000.- for costumes and conventions

how do I find new friends when I don't have the time due to workload and not the best social-skills (like forgetting names and faces, the inability to listen and care about the problems of others when my work-day ends) ?
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Emma Lightworth - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 09:51:03 EST U2D5rH6t No.534867 Reply
>>judges the fuck out of "friends" for enjoying things OP doesn't enjoy
>>Littlebit afraid I'm gonna meet soem snobby assholes

Think about that for a minute
User is currently banned from all boards
Walter Dellerhall - Tue, 09 Jun 2020 10:37:04 EST 7J8o2xTW No.534888 Reply
My friends who buy their plastic crack were going to a couple of events a month where there's dozens of people.

If you provided the equipment for your friends and said "have a go" it's a bit disappointing that no one would take you up at all given they wouldn't have to commit a lot of money, just an afternoon. So yeah of course you'd be annoyed at them. At the same time maybe it just doesn't seem fun to them, it's something I'd want to try if I could do it cheap and somewhere warm but diving into the English channel in December (which I've seen someone do) sounds miserable. I don't know what you were asking though. Sometimes it's good to try new things, sometimes it's just going to be a day spent wanting to go home when you very concretely could have enjoyed doing something else with that time.

I don't know your friends lives and maybe they're richly social and you're not giving them credit or maybe it's only ever the same few of them in their bubble and you're right.

It's unfair of me to assume either way about the situation with your friends however your post is just end to end dismissal of other people and it worries me. When you both simplify people and start them on a poor footing you will find it hard to find anyone "Good enough" while in reality not giving many great people a chance. Maybe those snobby scuba divers appear to you the same way you appear to others and one of you needs to persist until that shell is cracked (and if they're sitting pretty you're going to have to do the work).

The youtube thing was 100% pure cliche though.

messaging first

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- Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:27:13 EST zLz8KnuE No.534869
File: 1591626433678.jpg -(53673B / 52.42KB, 612x402) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. messaging first
i've got a crush on somebody for the first time in forever!!! the last time i liked somebody was when i was right in the middle of a depressive episode, and now i've been on my medication for a few months i'm in a much better place for stuff like this, but my normal metre is all kinds of fucked. is it weird to always be the one who messages first? i don't mind, i vibe with them enough that i want to reach out, but idk what the correct protocol for any of this is
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Nathaniel Penderbanks - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:38:16 EST zLz8KnuE No.534871 Reply

1) yes!
2) i've been on my meds since the beginning of september
Clara Dappertit - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:00:37 EST uOeB/J2M No.534872 Reply
Why not talk to them more? A crush implies that person isn't in your orbit, so maybe bring them into it.
Clara Dappertit - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:02:13 EST uOeB/J2M No.534873 Reply
What I mean is, perhaps for the other person, this is a superficial relationship, and so you need to do stuff to bring the relationship closer. Talking to each other all the time comes from a bond, and the bond is formed through shared experiences, so go get some.

Social anxiety

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- Sat, 30 May 2020 09:06:03 EST hgtkQ315 No.534734
File: 1590843963924.png -(401596B / 392.18KB, 1024x683) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Social anxiety
I'm tired of it, I'm somewhat over my depression and I'm getting in good shape, but still, almost every social situation makes me sweaty and anxious as fuck, it's impacting my life in a bad way.

How do i make this less of an issue? Where do I even start?
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Jarvis Feckleforth - Sun, 07 Jun 2020 10:25:37 EST Lny7/LNo No.534859 Reply
>Can't we act like humans?
>No we've always been pieces of shit
>Go be a piece of shit too
You sad defeatist.
Martin Shakecocke - Sun, 07 Jun 2020 10:32:57 EST JXOrpgOI No.534860 Reply
What in the fuck? Nobody says you have to be a piece of shit. Just accept these things in your space and don't get all blasted angry about it.
Hannah Dennerwork - Sun, 07 Jun 2020 10:47:28 EST ySK+6TA1 No.534861 Reply
I don't think that's really what he was saying. To maybe a small degree that's what he meant, but your tendency to reduce somebody's argument down to such an oversimplified state such that it doesn't even really accurately reflect what they were saying any more is pretty much exactly what I've been saying in my last 4 posts is part of the reason people don't act civilized with one another. You aren't open to having an honest conversation with this guy to actually try and understand what he means, which means you've entered into this discussion in bad faith.

That, that right there is a major reason nobody is good to one another. It's not just difficulty understanding what others mean, but an unwillingness to understand it because it doesn't agree with our point of view. Just like the guy I was responding to in my last two posts, it shouldn't be a mystery to you why nobody can treat each other decently any more, because you're exactly as guilty as anybody else is in treating people poorly yourself. Sure, some people are trying harder to be dicks than others, but anybody that enters a conversation in bad faith, especially one they started themselves and claim to have started in good faith (asking a question you actually want answered, and being prepared for others with differing view points to respond and to actually consider what they have to say) is guilty of interacting with others in a way that propagates and reinforces the negative attitudes and behaviors of anybody that acts like a piece of shit and treats others like shit.

This guy didn't suggest that you go out and act like a piece of shit too because everybody else is doing it, he was saying that you need to quit letting the fact that so many people you encounter act like pieces of shit ruin your day and corrupt your view of basically anybody you might potentially interact with. You are so overly concerned with how you've been mistreated that to convince yourself of the narrative you've constructed about everyone else being a piece of shit nowadays, you falsely believe that most people are just pieces of shit nowadays, and that this didn't use to be the case. You are vastly overestimating how many people are straight up that shitty, and when somebody enters into a legitimate discourse with you over the subject and suggests your outlook might be the problem, you completely misinterpret what they say so that it just reinforces your narrative. You aren't willing to give people a chance any more, and this is exactly why people treat each other so badly. A majority of the people that you think purposefully go out of their way to be shitty aren't actually doing that, they're merely behaving in ways that confirm their biases and the narratives of their outlooks, and trying to protect their own feelings and sensibilities. It's just the same as what you are doing.

Opened up a can of whoop-ass on a friend without warning him

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- Sun, 31 May 2020 21:00:51 EST vXUdJx7V No.534758
File: 1590973251526.jpg -(6379B / 6.23KB, 300x168) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Opened up a can of whoop-ass on a friend without warning him
Okay so I have this friend who's enthusiastic af (not diagnosed but it's completely obvious because of how socially oblivious he is and his tendency to ramble about narrow, specific, sometimes nonsensical stuff without stopping, etc.)

Anyway, he does this thing where he likes to poke and tickle me (some others, but mostly me). He makes the "Ehhhh heheheheh" sound, wiggles his finger around, and jabs me with it. I've always had a habit of just either letting him do it or just pushing his hand away without saying anything. The couple of other people who he does it to have asked him to stop, with mixed results.

Well last night I finally snapped. I dunno what it was because I'm usually a very gentle person, and like I said I've always just kinda let him do it and never asked him to stop.... and I just punched him and slammed him to the ground and screamed "STOP DOING THAT! IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!" I dunno just after so long of taking it without ever asking him to politely stop finally burst out

Everyone who was there now thinks I'm an asshole even though they know that he has a habit of invading my personal space. They think I overreacted way too much and that I'm lucky he didn't press assault charges. Needless to say he's not talking to me and a few other people are limiting contact with me.

Am I an asshole for not giving him a verbal warning? Or was I in the right to finally stand up for myself after taking his invasion of my personal space like a bitch for so long?
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Edwin Brangerhut - Thu, 04 Jun 2020 16:36:34 EST jnas4L6T No.534816 Reply
you're definitely a baboon. the fact you feel some pride in your actions is the worst part.
Molly Nabberfod - Thu, 04 Jun 2020 16:45:48 EST hCe8LxqZ No.534818 Reply
Haha you fuck

Gonna go out and make people feel bad hahaha
Make em feel like SHIT


haha oh shit man you gotta get a hobby, holy christ you gotta get a girlfriend or something woooooow

This speaks to all of us lol..

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- Tue, 02 Jun 2020 06:06:30 EST Mgr0+a86 No.534788
File: 1591092390903.jpg -(12803B / 12.50KB, 236x236) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. This speaks to all of us lol..
Everyone in this board ( including myself..) is a rundown bum with wasted potential and unfullfiled dreams.. lets face the facts and do something about it.
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William Sadgebury - Tue, 02 Jun 2020 17:37:52 EST 3ScQQ4dj No.534792 Reply
i just need a job, i would spend that money so well
Rebecca Dandlelun - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 00:43:21 EST /wfmLR6J No.534796 Reply
1591159401891.jpg -(12258B / 11.97KB, 300x229) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>rundown bum with wasted potential and unfullfiled dreams..

I mean this in the most humble way possible, but that's just kind of life. You might even find that after you become more than you thought you could possibly be you still fill this way.
Walter Divinghune - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 06:03:16 EST 7J8o2xTW No.534800 Reply
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This. Though I'm not bummed by it.

I have done a lot and I am very happy with the improvements in my life. I will never fulfill the potential I imagined I had or even actually had, and aside from people with hyper priveledge and a bit of right place at the right time luck no one does. But that's fine.

Even if you've already spun your wheels and considerably broadened the gap between what you could have been and what you actually can be it doesn't mean you can't engage to make the most of out where you are now. If you're looking at a huge gulf between "what I am" and "what I could be by now" you probably can close that massively and it feels great.

I look at me 10 years ago, he couldn't imagine having done the things I've done, he thought he had no future, life in a rut, a prison really. Sure if I hadn't gotten to that state in the first place I'd be even better now but I can't change the past. And 8-9 years ago when I started changing my life I could only change the present and future. Which I did.

I think missing some of your potential makes you appreciate how much you turn things around when you do. Or maybe that's just me being glass half full about it.

Jerked off to CP once - feels bad man, what now?

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- Thu, 26 Sep 2019 15:05:24 EST Y7ZWXY5S No.531891
File: 1569524724379.png -(1099000B / 1.05MB, 1919x1023) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Jerked off to CP once - feels bad man, what now?
Rewind 1 year ago

I download a nondescript link while on the porn boards here. The attached image and file size gave me the impression it would be an amateur compilation of teens n twenties, usual shit.

Opened it, examined it. Multiple sets of definitely 9-13 year olds sucking adult dicks or self-shots. I didn't like the CP - low quality, blatant abuse images of bodies too young for me. I think there was a "fuck it" moment though - I wasn't going to find this again. In all my time on the internet, I'd never seen anything remotely like this. Not what I was after, but I was bored of searching for porn.

I jerked off to it, deleted it off my PC, reported it here and then got on with my day.

Nothing about my consumption historically was pedo-esq. My porn collection was small <5GB, but I was a bit obsessive about the pursuit of curating files for it. The content was typically 18-30, emo, bbw, chubby, big tits, outdoors, fisting, homemade etc all sourced from overground websites like pornhub, xhamster, motherless etc. I had a few fantasy's about fucking 15 year olds in my local park, but it was really just reliving my own memories vicariously. Zero interest in actually doing that and I've never been happier in my current relationship.

I feel like I betrayed myself. For one naive moment, I had some sort of "what happens in vegas" feeling and just went way off script. I don't feel like a pedo, I've watched videos where they talk about their feelings towards kids and it's not how I feel. However, since this incident, a guilt is now present. A hesitation to interact and a fear of being inappropriate. I only look at eye level, I ignore children in my peripheral if I don't know them etc.

Society gets as far as punishment, but never really figures out what to actually do about the bad guy, beyond hating them. People are generally seen as "no bueno" if they play with the fire that I have. I've had a lot of guilt on my mind and my hands felt stained with blood that I can't wash off. I've tried my best to simply honour the mistake, by not repeating it and also changing myself for the better. I don't watch porn anymore, although that took a while to happen. My perspective changed on porn. I realised how desensitized I had became, that this blatant abuse became mere entertainment for me.

I don't believe in burdening people IRL with my dark, fucked up moment. I've kept it to myself. I'd really like to get this off chest.

>Can I be redeemed?
>Should I even feel guilty a year later?
>What should I do about it?
>Can you fuck up, learn from it and actually be better afterwards?

I am sorry if this broke rules of this board.
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Martha Duckdock - Sat, 02 Nov 2019 18:08:00 EST yndvewPP No.532264 Reply
lol, if I was so hard on myself after every poorly calculated move I'd be locked up like a rock. Get a life OP, you live and learn, but your life begins and ends now, seize the day.

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