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Sandwich


Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

I post here like once a year

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- Tue, 25 Feb 2020 15:21:15 EST 8J4P3qg4 No.533777
File: 1582662075835.jpg -(46765B / 45.67KB, 720x719) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I post here like once a year
and my life still isnt getting better. I listened and started working full time and stopped spending my whole day on my ass. I work full time now in the cannabis industry (almost a dream job of mine) and its alright. I still dont have any friends as they all kind of drifted off and the only ones left are degenerates who will get me arrested by their presence.

I still havent spoken to my father. Almost at the 2 year mark now. I saw a picture of him travelling in Brazil with his hot 23 year old wife with all his friends living the fucking dream while he completely stopped talking to me and my enthusiastic sister. Its destroyed us both immensely as well as the rest of the family. He just pretends like he never had kids he raised and lived with for 25 fucking years while shooting up his testosterone every day.

I havent spoken to my ex (friends since we were 13 years old, dated for 6 years out of hs) in a full year now. She probably thinks I killed myself or something. Not even a peep from her after she decided to stop seeing me since she would cheat on her current spouse with me every time we saw each other.

my best friend (who frequented 420chan) killed himself last year as well and me and a mutual friend still keep in contact frequently but were stagnating and find ourselves not really improving. my entire life fell apart and I did so many things to try and better myself. I quit hard drugs, I started exercising, I started working full time. I even started talking to my mom again. I still want to fucking die man.

I know I could've been handed a much worse hand at life but this still doesnt make my problem any less significant. I dont have any family support anymore besides my mom really. they all kind of just wrote me off as a deadbeat faggot and want nothing to do with me. all my cousins pretend to love me at family gatherings but ignore any attempt to reach out to them. my family on my moms side all stopped as well.

I for real feel like my depression has deflected away my entire life. I havent done anything to wrong these people besides be depressed over my life situations. I dont know, I'm almost positive I will die at age 28 like every other degenerate before me. I dont have anyone to live for really but my one friend and what little family I do have. my dad wouldnt blink twice if I offed myself as the only attempt to reach out to me was a shitty walmart birthday card with no hand written message or gift back in November of 2018. I havent even delved into the emotional abuse that I endured from my fathers gf before we fell out. As well as the emotional abuse my grandma and her caretaker put upon me by throwing away my possessions for no reason and doing little things to drive me slowly insane. basically trying to incite a reaction out of me. I havent reacted once and just record all of their antics. I feel like the world wants me to kill myself. the amount of mean fucking people who put me down or steal from me to try and incite some sort of reaction is just unbearable. its like fucking torture and I fantasize some dark shit on what I would do to that caretaker.

why kick someone when they are down? what do people get from this? Im so jaded at this point. just typing this is frustrating because I cant even gather my thoughts coherently or type out all of these issues that would make sense. theres just such an overwhelming amount of abuse and sadness that I dont know where to begin but to try and just start over.

im not asking for advice, my life has chosen its course it seems unless some crazy significant change falls on my lap.
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Sidney Shittingham - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 10:17:15 EST UapYWX45 No.533790 Reply
Life isn't really as dramatically good as it is catastrophically bad. If you grow up a hermit in a hermitage and spend your whole life hermiting you may never know truly extreme hardship, and accept life as a grind. The infection in your mind begins when you are put through extreme hardship by your dysfunctional family at a really young age and get told that this is normal and to toughen up. So you learn to accept that life is extreme, because hardship is extreme, and anger is extreme, and punishment is extreme, and there's no safe place. But life isn't extreme in positive ways. It's very easy to destroy, and people do it all the time as a result of it being an easy way to make extreme changes. Grinding out something positive like a roof and a paycheck just takes steeling yourself to hours of staring at walls. You see what I mean? When you're bullied, you think that everything in life happens to you the way bullying happens, extremely and without warning and with no connections to what you've done. Nothing else in life is like this except bullying and being bullied. Everything else is grinding.
>>
John Trotman - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 12:52:07 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533791 Reply
>>533789
It's not intended to hurt you. Because while I am definitely projecting, I think I've felt many of things you have. I didn't attempt suicide but I was pretty close at the nadir of my life. It's been almost 10 years and I'm glad I didn't, but the turning point was a bit later. I made changes and tried new things and retried old things with different people and things stuck.
>>
Matilda Brundlecocke - Thu, 26 Mar 2020 19:00:02 EST PsOH6sVi No.534104 Reply
>>533777
I think alot of that bad energy you got would go away if you stallion your father and fuck his wife.

help

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- Mon, 16 Mar 2020 08:24:30 EST D+Giy6mw No.534005
File: 1584361470188.jpg -(89001B / 86.92KB, 1280x722) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. help
I need help.

>ordered some tabs of acid and 2cb to my old adress
>guy let the mail in a local cafeteria
>my sister has no idea what is in it
>shes way older than me and has kids
>said "hehehehe friends"
>she already suspects something

REEEEEEEEEEE.
7 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Ernest Conkinsudge - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 12:36:11 EST NZJXskIC No.534021 Reply
>>534019
Well, that makes more sense.

Would doing acid and 2cb in her house even be fun? Sounds super stressful if she wouldn't like you using psychedelics, and especially considering she has kids there and is doing you a favor by giving you a place to stay. Sounds like a good way to fuck up your relationship with her.

Look at it this way, the acid is already giving you insight to what's wrong with your life and you haven't even dosed. Leave it at the shop and take control of your situation. Fix your life, then take acid
>>
Phoebe Braddleworth - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 19:35:28 EST BDvhrf8n No.534028 Reply
>>534021
what a garbage advice
OP didn't even stated he would trip in her house and you're suggesting he leaves drugs?
>>
Hamilton Chinkinmune - Wed, 25 Mar 2020 16:55:10 EST qTml9FbR No.534097 Reply
Jesus Christ, this thread is a hot mess. This is the kind of quality that keeps me coming back after all these years.

die

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- Thu, 12 Mar 2020 05:20:20 EST TUQC22QU No.533987
File: 1584004820840.jpg -(185340B / 181.00KB, 1200x797) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. die
can you send a wizard to kill me?
>>
awe - Sun, 15 Mar 2020 13:49:22 EST hQScIyLB No.534001 Reply
>>533987
damn, that is a fine nugget. Care to share more? That stuff is much better for geo engineering than the toxic shit the folks in US spray on the world. Annu came here for gold so that they could save their planet. Our inception is closely interlinked with gold.
>>
Ebenezer Dushshaw - Tue, 24 Mar 2020 04:38:25 EST TUQC22QU No.534088 Reply
>>534001
I checked and you're right. ):<
Mantids for everyone.

Neighbour situation

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- Sat, 21 Mar 2020 19:20:39 EST VMzmKgcf No.534070
File: 1584832839128.jpg -(35859B / 35.02KB, 800x450) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Neighbour situation
Hey guys, I'm dealing with sort of a crummy situation. Two years ago found the appt I'm currently in, and it's perfect for my life. The only thing wrong with it is the guy who lives next to me. I will type out my piece and then hopefully you can help me figure out what's going on (maybe I'm completely delusional??). I will give a brief history of my time here. I move in and this guy B introduces himself, seems friendly. I'm a drug addict at the time, want nothing to do with anyone, least of all this guy B who is probably 50, and is of a character and lifestyle that nobody who was raised properly would want to emulate, much less tolerate. I'll say now that I'm someone who you could accurately describe as "socially retarded" so I did in fact botch initial reactions. No sleep, drugs, etc etc I don't want to talk about it. I'm a guy you wouldn't want to meet eye contact with, frankly. I could give a sad story, I had a bad past, blah blah blah. I say this because I realize it's like I have a psychic disease now, you can sense it. Non-normal things happened to me, I dealt with it badly. Anyway so this apartment is actually one of the best things that's happened to me in my adult life, because I've constantly been dealing with bad living situations. This one is great, I am comfortable. That's very important to me, for something who is like me (underground man, dostoevsky).
Ok, so I'm in my last sem of uni, and having a really hard, at-times-suicidal time, I eventually figured out that it was a health issue, which I have since solved, more or less, but things were REALLY bad at the time. One issue was sleep, and this guy was doing things to fuck with it. I have historically been timid with these things, so I had to learn to attack him. I put up with it, drew mental lines in my mind until I decided to act. I talked to him when he started making noise one occasion. He said he would keep it down. It happens again soonish after. I say, please, can you stop doing things, I have to sleep for school. He doesn't say any words, just closes the door. So I brooded a bit and then started fucking with him. Funny story, but long story short I understood that this was an animalistic thing. He is dictating his boundaries and they extend beyond my own just boundaries. I articulate as such: if it's 11pm, you do not watch movies with speaker if the bass goes through the floor into my living space, particularly when I'm sleeping for class which I have to wake early for. I realized a few things. This guy does not give a shit about the people around him, or me anyway. Guy is 50 acts like 20 year olds I've had the displeasure of living with. So anyway this was an animal getting territorial, I was talking to a primal being. So I started fucking with him, basically destroying his peace whenever he stepped out of bounds. A precedent that had by now been set is not dealing (talking) with each other. I do not want to communicate with this person. This is a not-super-low but low income place, more or less, and this is a low quality individual that I am dealing with. I don't want to say that lightly, as I am not perfect either, but I at least want to get better, build myself and this (OLD) person's degenerate habits were getting in my fucking way. So.. the time for talking is over, I choose survival for myself. I don't give a fuck about this dopey piece of shit. He seemed to get the message at the method I used to cull him, and things were fine for the better part of a year.
Some intermittent incidents, but nothing longstanding. I eventually graduate and start working. I'm currently on a weed bender for about 3 weeks, today is my last day (reasonably sure I am able to stop). This guy B has started saying that there's a smell coming up from my apartment, "like shit," apparently I'm bringing dog shit into my apartment, and he, ever so often decides to yell at me for it. I don't believe there to be a smell, I think he's just using this as a way to fuck with me. Or the smell is in some sort of space between our apartments. I don't smell anything. Now, the trash piled up a bit when I was being a drug addict, there might have been a smell there. But that's since been cleaned up and an hour or two ago he bangs on my door and yells something about the police. To be honest I have no fucking idea what he's on about. H…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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shakhaZulu - Mon, 23 Mar 2020 17:17:15 EST bHlxs9Bq No.534082 Reply
>>518069
>>534070
lolololol I went through exactly the same kind of shit with my neighbour/s. I live in Kenya btw. Funny thing is I came back home today to find that one of the neighbours I was beefing with has decided to move out so YEZZIR I WIN!! lol this is so funny. I'm typing super fast coz busy now but i will come online to describe my situation more in detail if you would like.
Also FUCK THAT 50yr OLD S.O.B. ...and you can tell him I said it.
>>
Reuben Suckletone - Mon, 23 Mar 2020 18:01:36 EST jnas4L6T No.534083 Reply
shitty neighbors are the worst. i lived in a trashy neighborhood once, would rather be homeless than go through it again. at night when he is sleeping, superglue his entire front door shut, all the way around
>>
Alice Clurringforth - Mon, 23 Mar 2020 18:05:36 EST 5iXaUCHT No.534084 Reply
>>534083
Having to go to court for malicious mischief as an adult is embarrassing tho

a certain romanticism..

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- Tue, 17 Mar 2020 22:22:43 EST VMzmKgcf No.534029
File: 1584498163839.jpg -(77537B / 75.72KB, 790x767) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. a certain romanticism..
Hey r9k I think I might seriously, unironically have a personality disorder. Maybe schizoid, or maybe i've just been addicted to drugs for too long and i've never really tried at life. i only just figured out how the trauma of my family life affected me.
i've been moved chemically to receive pleasure from the indulging of the desire for suicide, and the implications thereof; that was a defining thing about my life. i was cursed in this life, unironically. i had a genuine fate for suicide. things were so bad that i seared my mind and being with remorseless, all-consuming romanticism. even now i believe myself to be something far and away other than what i am..
it will probably lead me to suicide. certainly being like this will inevitably whittle my life away, never to build anything substantial, only here to.. do what, exactly?

INTP if you want to talk about that
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Emma Shittingstone - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 13:04:31 EST TVjit2tT No.534058 Reply
>>534029
Go to a doc. But be prepared to do a litany of various psych drugs since it isn't an exact science. And don't get down if none of them work. I don't recommend group therapy or in-patient shit as it depletes so much money and for me was just a bunch of touchy-feely bullshit. For a socially isolated anti-social retard, having some frail black dude ask me how I could think more positively 14 times a day drove me batshit insane. Also, being asked if I was having suicidal thoughts or homicidal thoughts every 10 minutes and having to write it out pissed me off, you'll feel like a prisoner and still be expected to pay bills while loosing your job sitting in a run-down converted middle school building while being talked down to. Shit sucked. Never mention you feel suicidal or like hurting others. Deny, deny, deny. You don't want to get 5150'd. Trust me dude, that is like ruining your life without even getting to have the thrill of committing a crime.

>drugs lmao
>>
James Clurringsted - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 15:55:57 EST VMzmKgcf No.534066 Reply
>>534058
I won't lie, that sounds pretty unpleasant. Perhaps the state isn't the best method to mold one's personality
>>
Wesley Sallerway - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 16:18:23 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534067 Reply
>>534058
I found counselling/therapy useful but
>it was weekly sessions I chose to do it
>I made sure I jived with the therapist and his outlook
>this shit requires you engage with it and so you need feel like the approach and outlook work for you
>Therapists have a lot of approaches and outlooks, this isn't just medical it's a general worldview and you need to jive with it
>If you just feel you're wasting your time you are, doesn't mean all therapy has to be like that if you agree with their approach worldview and outlook

If it seems like I'm saying the same thing it's because a lot of people miss this. Your therapist has their own worldview and if it doesn't match yours and their approach to sorting the problem doesn't make sense it will just feel like an idiot talking at you. You need to have a conversation with someone who understands you. They can help you understand and remove stupid thought patterns, mitigate them or just develop coping mechanisms.

If that therapist doesn't share an understanding of emotions and feelings with you you won't relate. Shop around. Group and inpatient sound like shit, how can you connect and open up to a whole room of different minds perhaps very carefully chosen groups may work in an authentic way? If you're stuck with a therapist how do you know it will help? You don't choose those usually though, you get shoved in them when you fuck up.

Heartbreak in a pandemic

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- Fri, 20 Mar 2020 09:19:46 EST g6bW96Bn No.534046
File: 1584710386275.png -(773548B / 755.42KB, 958x958) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Heartbreak in a pandemic
3 weeks into this, thought I could handle it, wasn't paying attention to the news at all and now Canada is basically shut down. I broke up with him, it would be really easy to get him back but he's emotionally abusive and not good for my sobriety (ex-opi user here). I have most of his contact details memorized by accident so I'm pretty well screwed on that end too

Games are fun and all but it makes me depressed after a while. Can't do any other drugs since I've been free from them for a couple years now. Only do psys now, but shouldn't as of right now for obvious reasons

Have been driving around a lot which helps but that's a money pit

What do you guys do to get through something like this that doesn't involve drugs, games or the gym (considering everything's shut down)?
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David Pullyhet - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 11:58:48 EST OC6eAmHZ No.534056 Reply
>>534055
also i just dont like TV shows that are not comedy so that might be my own issue
>>
Emma Shittingstone - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 13:06:55 EST TVjit2tT No.534059 Reply
>Go to youtube.
>Watch alchestbreach videos.
>The end.

It's what I'm doing at least.
>>
Simon Dremmercocke - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 14:06:26 EST g6bW96Bn No.534065 Reply
Thanks for the suggestions guys, I guess this would be a good time to pick up a new language and get outside a lot more with the warming weather. Gonna at least try and keep myself busy most hours of the day, just hard to do without being able to work

Wish he'd stay off my mind and honestly it's really hard not to text him right now. But that's the way things have to be

>>534048
Also nice dog
Probably gonna go hiking with mine today, thanks for the reminder

I'm going through a divorce

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- Tue, 17 Mar 2020 05:18:34 EST Rctvwq2S No.534012
File: 1584436714777.jpg -(62105B / 60.65KB, 1100x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm going through a divorce
I was in a car accident a week ago and in hella pain with no more painkillers
and my dad kicked me out of the house, typing this at a PC place.

I don't need advice or help even though I am very suicidal at this moment.

I just wanted to vent it all out as I'm feeling really really sorry for myself.
I hope the weed Gods smile on me tonight and I can have a smoke and forget all about this terrible time in my life.

A sexy girl would help too.
>>
William Dartdale - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 10:54:48 EST 3ScQQ4dj No.534018 Reply
hang in there fam
sometimes life just shits on you
>>
James Covinggold - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 18:22:11 EST sg9WXzAO No.534025 Reply
im not a sexy girl but i still love you man. you remember this terrible time in your life doesnt have to define you. keep your expectations low!

Controversial ending over artistic ending

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- Tue, 10 Mar 2020 02:10:35 EST izAQpBx3 No.533957
File: 1583820635342.jpg -(352311B / 344.05KB, 1340x993) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Controversial ending over artistic ending
In 2015 I made a comic of 50+ pages.
As I was finishing it up I asked for input from my friend on how to end it. Basically a character in the final pages, who was a prepubescent girl, appears as a spirit, with giant butterfly wings, and ascends into the sky, yet I was pondering between which one of two endings would fit best: The artistic one or the controversial one.
The first just had her body (without removing the wings) take the form of this humanoid cubist bug, which in truth was actually just supposed to pay homage to a character from a Michael DeForge comic which I was stealing taking 80% influence from anyway.
The second just showed her naked.
Despite knowing my friend was four to three years younger than me (let alone four times as rebellious as me anyway) I asked which of these two endings he would decide on.
Yup, you guessed it: The controversial one.
Although I would've gone with the artistic one just as easily, there's a deeply personal reason why I even offered this as an option (which will probably be of no surprise to any millennials):

To think the way I showed her was "sexualised" simply because she was naked in that manner would be no different from the way I was bombarded with images of naked boy butts throughout a good three quarters of all American cartoons in my life under the belief it wouldn't irritate me to death. And even then she wasn't even that much of a girl anymore but, without getting into an essay long explanation, was more based on a type of Japanese Superflat style where her form was not "trying to reveal anything specific about sex, but rather, with the slim bodies, bulbous heads, and large eyes, trying to emphasize the figures' TEMPORARY suspension from adulthood" and "still engaged in the growing process, mentally and physically".
I mean if I was to get technical I was ALSO planning on keeping the comic going for however long I was allowed, but upon noticing another comic artist had an idea identical to mine two weeks in advance (despite me trying not to spoil myself in order to avoid that same fraud mentality) my inner perfectionist collided with my blooming espresso addiction, leading me to a crash that forced me to cut the project short.

But the point is that although I wouldn't have been glad with the artistic version, I don't exactly regret the controversial version. If I regret anything, however, it's giving the comic alone an unhappy ending in the final panel of the last page simply because I was unable to properly shift between a so-called gritty professional and a butthurt jerk.
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Eugene Blobberchidge - Tue, 10 Mar 2020 18:55:05 EST 5T07XTge No.533969 Reply
Sounds like your comic is for internet sludge

Sorry boutit
>>
Jack Turveyville - Tue, 10 Mar 2020 20:39:24 EST izAQpBx3 No.533970 Reply
>>533969
I guess: I built up 45 pages into it and that part only lasted 3.
In yo' face, Shadman!
>>
Eliza Puvingpid - Tue, 17 Mar 2020 01:35:03 EST izAQpBx3 No.534009 Reply
>>533957
Not that anyone would (or even should) care but if you ever want to read said comic I only gave copies to two people. One being this AfroJapanese dude who…if he didn’t throw it away only has a black and white copy (we stopped being cool since 2018 anyway), and another friend, Steve, whom I lost contact with for personal reasons. https://www.deviantart.com/mr-dusk14 and only has it if he didn’t delete his emails if not the entire email address.

Later.

girls and dating mawk n moxxy couldent get it

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- Thu, 12 Mar 2020 19:42:51 EST PP+qHLYR No.533992
File: 1584056571218.jpg -(3564064B / 3.40MB, 5312x2988) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. girls and dating mawk n moxxy couldent get it
Why are the drug addicts like rxqueen the only girls I ever feel anything from? I try oh god how I try but the bar it is just so low from living here
>>
William Heshhood - Sun, 15 Mar 2020 02:57:22 EST Nt9gNCy1 No.533999 Reply
>>533992
I don't know or care to know what the fuck you're talking about but I feel your pain
god she's so fucked up and just rocks a crystal meth binge
she's so hot when she's thinner
I want to kidnap her and make her my meth princess

GOD FUCKING HATES ME WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME

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- Tue, 03 Mar 2020 21:56:47 EST PqgViVEA No.533898
File: 1583290607122.jpg -(13731B / 13.41KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. GOD FUCKING HATES ME WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME
I really fucking hate this shitty rural town, I really need to fucking get out of here, fucking white trash neighbors up the road yelling jolly african-american, fucking pieces of shit. There is literally nothing to do here but do drugs and drink. Fucking god curses me to live here but why does he do this shit? God hates me.
10 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Rebecca Duckville - Tue, 10 Mar 2020 13:49:40 EST S6WwTyS/ No.533966 Reply
>>533951
there are a ton of tweakers where I live in washington, there will be people loitering at busstops full on nod, can't go to any store without derelicts hanging out by the front, down the road from me this guy driving got stopped by a gang of tweakers with the leader claiming they were "stealing her car" even though she was on a bike. they straight up opened the guys door, jumped on the hood of the car, tried to stop them, one guy gestured he had a gun, another guy almost threw a brick at the car
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Thomas Dronnermotch - Fri, 13 Mar 2020 19:44:10 EST PqgViVEA No.533996 Reply
FUCK MY GOD DAMN WHITE TRASH NEIGHBORS WHY DOES GOD FORCE ME TO LIVE BY THEM?
>>
Fanny Songerforth - Sat, 14 Mar 2020 08:52:46 EST VBQd6bjv No.533997 Reply
Join the military.
Fuck your cat

My relationship is getting rough

View Thread Reply
- Sat, 07 Mar 2020 15:12:17 EST Mo+hzZ2t No.533924
File: 1583611937458.jpg -(169029B / 165.07KB, 750x1334) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My relationship is getting rough
My girlfriend has been getting mood swings more and more in the past few months. She becomes really upset about little things and becomes passive aggressive (and sometimes actively aggressive) for god even knows how long. It can be an hour to a day, and sometimes things get brought back up. I understand it to some extent and I’m trying but I’m walking on more and more eggshells these days. And then whenever this starts up I get really defensive because I’m being attacked out of the blue for things that don’t warrant this reaction at all. Things I couldn’t have known. Small mistakes. Putting her work clothes in the wrong drawer. Throwing away her cup of tea that sat in the car for 3 hours. Right now she’s upset because she took acid and wanted to be alone in the bath for the peak. Instead we had sex. She didn’t tell me she wanted to do this. She went with it. She was totally happy the whole night. She told me in the morning and I said sorry. Now 2 days later she gets extremely aggressive (slamming the car door, raising her voice, pushing my buttons, picking on me) when i pick her up from work. This makes me defensive and I tell her she doesnt have to do this. Theeen a giant downward spiral. She brings the acid up again, says I’m driving her to buy more. I am upset about this. I didn’t know. This situation isn’t my fault at all. So I’m upset, she says I’m yelling at her (i really really don’t think i was). She twists my words and eventually I break and say she’s a bitch. I didn’t yell it, I just said it. I said she has some issues and she needs to work on them. I have issues too, I won’t deny it, but this is not my fault. Now I’m going to be the bad guy because I broke after she stirred the pot for half an hour and said what I said. She’s ignoring me now. Is my relationship fucked? We love eachother deeply but I don’t know what’s going to happen in the long run. I haven’t been in many relationships so I don’t know if this is considered abusive or not. She sure as fuck makes me cry all the time

Tl;dr my girlfriend has terrible mood swings that she didn’t used to have. We got into a terrible argument, normally I will recognize when I am at fault after an argument but I feel no fault in this one. She manipulates me and this keeps happening. I’m walking on eggshells and don’t know what to do.
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Matilda Sodgeson - Fri, 13 Mar 2020 00:28:02 EST 6y6pSaB+ No.533993 Reply
>>533991
You know, I always wondered if the whole clashing cultures thing may have come off as a borderline personality with mine. Maybe I would've seemed crazy in her country if I moved there as a kid.

Eh, nah I think she was deranged. I hope she's dead. Yours too, unless that's not cool or whatever.

SJW/Polyamrous Ex - Part 2

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- Sun, 29 Dec 2019 22:16:00 EST nQLKFsSO No.533020
File: 1577675760480.jpg -(134574B / 131.42KB, 900x675) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. SJW/Polyamrous Ex - Part 2
>28F her
>27M me

I posted here months ago about a girl I was dating, thread isn't even on the 15th page anymore. She was a bisexual, previously poly, hardcore sjw-type with a rich family and protested all the time to my annoyance. Everything that was too "hetero normative" to her offended the hell out of her. I'm talking if a guy and a woman kissed in a movie, she'd complain about how straight it was when she was dating me ffs. She also had terrible anxiety and I couldn't cope with it. She had a whatever part-time job, quit it to "travel", and then I had to nag and push her to do SOMETHING with her life. She had 1000x issues with her father, and abusive men in her life from exes to one of her step dads (mother had multiple marriages). I loved her anyway.

I wanted to move in with her and was deeply in love with her. She was there for me when my best friend died, I was there for her when her grandma died. I even held her at the fucking funeral while her own father wasn't even in the goddamn room when they look at the corpse. I stuck my neck out for her out of love multiple times and her whole family saw that.

When I posted here before, the thread is long gone, a poster here said that we were two sides of the same coin. She was an insufferable SJW stereotypical millennial on one side, and I was the edgy Chan poster on the other. Said that by sticking through this relationship would be a good opportunity for us to grow.

Well it didn't work. We broke up after a trip together 3 months ago, and I'm still reeling. We just squabbled the entire trip, and it ended with me dropping her off at her parents house, her slamming my car doors, not talking for a week, and then us breaking up over the phone due to "incompatibility". I was the one who did most of the initiating here.

I'm pissed and sad and lonely. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I'm happy she's gone, but recently it's been more of the former. Rebound girls didn't help. Sometimes I miss her energy, and sometimes I'm glad I dumped a girl who was on some real man-hate shit, while simultaneously kept in contact with male "friends" she met from DATING APPS. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being a classic vindictive insecure male or if I did the right thing. I want to say I learned something from dating her but all I feel is regret, pain, and frustration. I'm completely turned off from seeing anyone for a while. I panic and rage when I'm alone. I want to look at her social media but i blocked her and resist the urge - just to see what shes been up to.

Fuck this what do?
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Charlotte Gullystone - Tue, 10 Mar 2020 20:53:04 EST LQ4VvGPH No.533971 Reply
oh man, it's the toxic gf who is somehow addictive as hell. Everyone has one. You just gotta quit that shit like it was heroin. Yeah, you might not ever find another drug that's quite as good, but maybe you can find one that won't wreck your life when you use it.
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sta - Wed, 11 Mar 2020 22:43:00 EST LbPBpo3d No.533984 Reply
>>533020
just be happy when your around others. isen't that the goal? if your getting infringed opon being happy or just get a bad vibe rubbed your way. then leave.
shouldnt family have the instict to segrogate you when your happy?
i think being single is cool i'm actaully goin through this milestone.
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Lillian Pebblebanks - Thu, 12 Mar 2020 02:08:31 EST xz460s0x No.533985 Reply
>>533971
Literally this
Treat her like a drug

I had the same except a man
I know so many people who have one of these exes. its like moth to the flame. You wanna go to it, but you WILL die.

Anxiety

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- Wed, 11 Mar 2020 10:24:18 EST NNvOA7ck No.533982
File: 1583936658318.gif -(1336056B / 1.27MB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anxiety
I work a stressful job.
I work 6 days a week.
My job involves getting yelled at by people upset about things.
Everyday I wake up and have serious nausea.
I can't eat in the mornings, I just vomit it up.
I've taken medication to reduce stress
I've taken medication to reduce acid reflex.
This part is an advertisement, ignore it.
I try eating at work, but have limited options due to working hours and general avoidance of frozen foods.
God this break room is a petri dish of germs.
I normally only have one big meal when I get home, just a few hours before bed.
I just want every day to be the night before my day off.
I have nightmares about my job.
It normally passes once I get to my office and start working.
It creeps back the next morning.
I just want to slow down.
I haven't connected with my friends in years.
Try getting fresh air that helps.
Just focus on your work you'll be alright.
You just need a creative outlook for expression.
Try socializing that helps.
I just want to go back to bed.
12 hours of sleep is healthy.
You have running water and clean underwear.
Your grandfather killed men for less.
Lets talk about current events
Just leads to more arguments.
I sleep in a closet locked away from my peers.
People look up to me as an example
People look down on me as a failure.
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Edwin Bungerhood - Wed, 11 Mar 2020 13:41:49 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533983 Reply
Look for another job.

It does seem like the majority of your problems are caused directly by or exacerbated by the job. Call centre work is awful, if you can do it you can hold down a job in a non customer facing office as an admin or maybe more and work your way up.

Also my advice for food is prep a big dinner and stick half in a tupperware bowl then bring that in for lunch. For bachelor eats it works.

Your life sucks, of course you feel awful. Socialisation and hobbies aren't an escape, they're supposed to be enjoyable on their own merits.

i really really want to kms right now

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- Sun, 01 Mar 2020 14:24:21 EST fX6Yh9Du No.533857
File: 1583090661973.jpg -(23875B / 23.32KB, 540x276) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i really really want to kms right now
but i can't do shit because if i fail i'll be sectioned so i'm probably just going to eat cake and cry myself to sleep lmao
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Ernest Hinninglock - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 15:14:31 EST li/x54Vx No.533944 Reply
>>533857
Not OP but I am walking that road rn

31, unemployed due to rib fracture, uninsured, gf of 5yrs left me, no friends, living at parents, they're moving to a rural area in less than a month, no car, small uhaul worth of stuff, savings being crushed in stocks,

I'd much rather kms but don't have the courage yet. I called the suicide prevention hotline this morning. Some of their suggestions/techniques did help calm me down. The scariest part of today is waking up and just feeling totally at peace with expiring.

And I am trying... I do squat and pushups as well as run around the block, daily. Stopped drinking and once I run out of wax I think I might tolerance break from mmj. I'm reading library books, which requires me to physically go to a library. I even pet my parents cat for emotional support.

However, the impending doom of kms mostly outweighs any happiness I make for myself. Another word's, it just feels like it's a big waste of time. The impending feeling that none of what I do in life is going to matter in the slightest. Born a pissant die a pissant, dystopian bliss
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John Duvingstire - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 19:08:24 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533948 Reply
>>533944
You had a really nasty change and your life sucks so it's natural you'd feel this way but from the cave of depression it's hard to see far outside.

You will die eventually you might as well just try to make the most of the time you have while you still have agency and you have a lot of agency, even if right now your best options are really just steps to getting more exciting choices a bit later. Being rational about it (as hard as that is with circumstantial depression weighing you down) you can see that you might have to put in a bit of work before you can feel any benefits but that this will quickly start to yield benefits in the grand scheme of things. I mean sure while life is a day at a time a few weeks or months feels endless but your life stretches on much further. You are going to spend most of eternity being dead so might as well try living in the little window you can.It's less wasteful to live than do the same non existing thing you did and will do for all the rest of time.

I think you are doing well by keeping busy and doing stuff. Maybe look at how you can focus that. Your daily routine isn't bad, set goals to slowly run further, do more reps, or carry a small weight, try to work on incline pullups until you can do pullups. Work towards bodyweight tricep dips. But not just the exercise.Read stuff which might help you find useful skills whether it's stuff like cooking, or first aid or music or even stuff which might help you get a new job when you can move enough.
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Oliver Climmerlidge - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 22:57:28 EST JFqzZM+C No.533950 Reply
>>533944
>unemployed due to rib fracture

Wut. I broke my rib leaning over too hard trying to pull something heavy out of a dumpster. Felt it snap. It hurt to breathe for a few weeks but that was about it and then it healed itself. You don't even need a cast for that shit, the other ribs hold into place.

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