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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

help

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- Mon, 24 Jun 2019 00:23:37 EST Y/IBjRot No.529970
File: 1561350217789.jpg -(40208B / 39.27KB, 190x295) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. help
I've known this dude my entire life and hes always been a weird nerd. A few years back i got him into weed and psychedelics. He got married around the same time and is in a very controlling, manipulative relationship. He has just become weirder and weirder since. He got on anti depressants this year and started seeing a counselor and now his life is fucked.

The other day he came over here and we dosed acid and shrooms all day long. He told me he was gay (I suspected this for years but it feels forced, like a statement) and his wife stallions him and in return he can fuck dudes. He was talking about sucking dick all day long. It was honestly extremely uncomfortable and strange. My brother other brother naked and started telling my brother whose 6 years old that he likes to suck dick and get fucked in the ass by dudes. It was honestly extremely awkward since we've known this guy our entire lives and have never heard him say anything like this and we were all on shrooms.

As the night went on it just got weirder and weirder. He kept mooching weed and cigs even though I had never heard of him smoking cigarettes in his life. It seemed like he was massively traumatized. He defended james gunn for the sex offender accusations which really bothered me. He made a point to tell me that it doesnt matter and i can take my opinion and shove it up my ass. He started talking about how he was an alpha male and his wife was actually the one getting fucked over.

At the end of the night he was talking to some girl about getting his cock sucked that wasn't his wife. He said he was doing it to get this dude to fuck him too. I'm pretty sure he masturbated in my bathroom. He kept asking to see pictures of my dick and calling me beta for not showing them to him. It was very very strange honestly. He kept trying to talk about how powerful and manipulative he was and it all just sounded like bullshit.

I don't even know what to say. I'm so embarrassed my brother saw and heard that. It was so uncomfortable. I could give a shit what he does in his free time but i dont need to hear the dirty ass details for 12 hours. At one point he told me I was a reincarnation of a nazi my grandfather killed in ww2. He seems extremely fucked up sexually and somewhat deranged. I have known this person my entire life and honestly don't care to see or here from him for at least the past 6 months, the shit he was saying was honestly somewhat horrifying.

just had to get that off my chest and don't really have anyone i can talk to about this. Luckily he lives an hour from here now. I'm gonna try to stay busy all summer to avoid him. I don't want to hear about this shit. Theres alot of traffic in my house and alot of people in and out, I live in a popular hipster urban area in a very nice apartment and me and my roommate have many friends. I don't want anyone else to have to hear this shit for hours, christ sake. I honestly feel like a dirty, bad person for even being associated with this dude and that my friend is a deranged sicko.
10 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Martha Sebblenag - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:48:59 EST j9agoklL No.530497 Reply
>>529970
Yeah he sounds bonkers even if you ignore the gay stuff. I'd stay away personally.
>>
Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:32:11 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530498 Reply
>he was talking about sucking dick all day long

10/10 master post

Fuck BENZOS

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- Mon, 08 Jul 2019 21:54:08 EST a7qWLag2 No.530302
File: 1562637248776.jpg -(57802B / 56.45KB, 750x481) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fuck BENZOS
I'm turning 24 this year with so many problems I just wanna end it all. Just gets worse the older I get and no matter where I go for support i never truly get the help I need.

I have debilitating anxiety since a kid and have been on a host of medications. At the age of 20 i was given my first script of kpins after some run ins with Ativan. Kpins for awhile was bliss with weed. Of course my dosages got out of control and i started to mess with all sorts of benzos. Things kept spiraling that I've basically messed with everything at one point.

These things are the only thing that has kept me kicking since around that time i was first give clonazepam. I have continued to take them everyday as prescribed and am up to 2.5mg a day. Life was good for a couple years but now its crashing down.

I've messed around with so many CNS depressants combos i'm convinced my time ain't now. I've never done these combos for suicide, for pleasure, but I've done many that have put people asleep for good.

I'm bingeing on etiz at the moment doing ludicrous amounts. I got cpam once this powder drys up but i'll taper like usual. Life just sucks, I can't function without these medications. I know it was my own fault for taking this shit but i expressed my issues about dependency when i first got the script and he brushed me off. Now i'm stuck
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Reuben Pavingkack - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 15:09:15 EST t0BmBjle No.530486 Reply
>>530302
Look up NMN, cause that shit works with addiction. Try also googling nmn/nad detox.

Late bloomer.

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- Sat, 13 Jul 2019 01:05:13 EST 7DhEjqUS No.530400
File: 1562994313935.jpg -(69231B / 67.61KB, 680x680) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Late bloomer.
I'm 24 years old and this past year is the only one in which I've been steadily employed, had passions for hobbies, and have driven a car. I could give more specifics about my situation, but just generally: When will I stop feeling like a weirdo manchild and start being able to relate to people? Especially people my own age and people who aren't lonely and needy.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Doris Fangerchut - Sat, 13 Jul 2019 19:37:14 EST bZjBiC2x No.530416 Reply
>>530410
You probably have a bit of impostor syndrome. Most people can't actually see your defects to the extent you can. Because you aren't them you don't realise how incompetent they are. You just assume they're miles ahead. Your actual peers will just be you if you'd been productive a couple of years more, maybe more than that. But they'll know it and so will you.
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Priscilla Pimmerford - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 14:33:51 EST ka63e54W No.530483 Reply
>>530400
try to find your own way of doing things
chances are there's some cool ass talent that you've denied. just do that

Lost my ability to socialize?

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- Tue, 21 May 2019 00:19:57 EST meKKp2Ju No.529470
File: 1558412397959.jpg -(96136B / 93.88KB, 750x725) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Lost my ability to socialize?
Ever since I kicked dope and have been relatively sober for the past 5 months(aside from drinking once in a blue moon) I find it so hard to meet people. Like I'll match with women on Tinder and shit and it's like I don't know what to say or I'll over-share. Basically, I don't know how to be normal because I lived so abnormally for so long. Between jail stints and all other types of bullshit I did when I was on heroin.

I went from having so many friends to losing most of them when I was on drugs and only having one right now. I hate feeling like this. I used to be well known for being funny and very extroverted.

Anyone else experience anything like this?
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Eliza Fommerfuck - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 01:55:30 EST JCATCBbz No.530467 Reply
>>529522 >>530460
Except if you don't facilitate anyone else's desires no one will take you seriously or befriend you. You both realize that being a dick isn't going to net you any friends, right? Friendship always comes at a cost. No one is perfect. You're going to have to endure a little shit if you want to converse with a real human being.

I've tried to kill myself 4 times in a year and I don't when it's going to happen again.

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- Mon, 15 Jul 2019 17:39:46 EST wg/43xhN No.530435
File: 1563226786813.jpg -(9739B / 9.51KB, 217x320) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I've tried to kill myself 4 times in a year and I don't when it's going to happen again.
I keep trying to kill myself when I'm drunk by taking huge doses of benzos or trying to hang myself but being too drunk to do it. When I'm sober I think about suicide sometimes but never want to act on it. I've tried to quit drinking and I cut down from 30 UK units a day (a bottle of vodka) to a drink every couple of weeks or so. But every time I drink something really bad happens. Generally I sleep well and eat well and have a goal and future so I don't know what's going on. I've had a very rough time of it during my adolescent years however, problems with family, heroin use, violence, and I think all of it is starting to take it's toll.

I know the obvious solution is to just never drink but i'ts not quite that simple as I'm sure a lot of you know. I just want to know what the hell is going on in my psyche to make me try and top myself every time I lose inhibition and gain the confidence to do it when I'm drunk. The hospital wont help any more they've had enough of me and they are completely fucking useless. I have been taking valium for 4 years and I am dependent on it, but don't get high on them, I mentioned this and the dumb bitch told me addiction and dependency are exactly the same thing and it only takes 4 hours for valium to leave the system with little withdrawal. I called her up on this and she just stormed off like a child leaving me to just discharge myself. I cannot believe people so uninformed can be classed as experts, just because they've been peddling the same shit to drug addicts for 20 years probably with a very minimal recovery rate.

I'm thinking that the combination of diazepam and alcohol is what's really enabling these suicide attempts, being dependent on diazepam for four years has really took it's toll I think. I'm hoping to start a proper taper plan with supervised liquid doses soon, fingers crossed I don't try and end it all again and actually succeed. I don't think a valium overdose is going to do it since last time I took about 500mg with an insane amount of vodka and just had a low blood pressure all night.
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Eliza Fommerfuck - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 00:07:01 EST JCATCBbz No.530461 Reply
>>530435
Damn, OP, I'm sorry. It sounds like you've had it rough. Honestly though I think that the benzo and alcohol combination is a suicidal recipe. Like one of the posters mentioned I think that you may have some stuff you ought to deal with. That's hard shit though. My recommendation is to taper off the valium while drinking moderately. Get to a point where you don't necessarily need the benzos. Once you're there you ought to be able to see things a bit more clearly. Understand that this combination has killed so many people. I don't want you to die, I want you to understand what's going on and fight it. You're entirely capable of defeating whatever it may be that keeps you in this state. You don't have to die. A better life IS within your grasp. I promise you can do it, just come back here and update us if you're feeling vulnerable or anything. We're here for you. I myself struggle with trying or just going off the rails completely. But seriously, isn't a life long lived better than a short and sad one? Imagine all the world has to offer that you haven't experienced. You CAN do those things. You can do whatever you dedicate yourself to. It's going to sound dumb but don't think about your suicide attempts. Think about what you'll be missing out on if you succeed in offing yourself. You need to make yourself want to stay somehow. Personally, for me that's those things that I HAVEN'T done yet. I know I have a lot of them. I want to travel internationally and become a successful songwriter. I want to have a real life. I want to have real friends. I don't want to run from reality. These things keep me from taking heroic doses of DXM and DPH and/or alcohol. I dream of a real life. We can do it.
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Fanny Sungerchark - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 09:47:05 EST doVKhUzH No.530477 Reply
>>530435
Drinking is like throwing gasoline on a fire if you've got all those other problems too. Quitting drinking won't solve your problems but it will allow you to focus on them so you can solve them. The trouble with drinking is that you get sober and all the problems that caused you to drink in the first place are still there.

Yerp

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- Fri, 12 Jul 2019 18:03:41 EST Xr0uMuKe No.530387
File: 1562969021947.jpg -(1791859B / 1.71MB, 3840x5120) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Yerp
I feel like a bad person. But I don't feel guilty enough to change. I take things that don't belong to me. I don't feel that happy without getting high even though on paper I have an ok life. Even before I ever used a drug to have fun, I always wanted to try them as soon as I learned what drugs were. I think I might be a secret piece of shit. Low-key fiending for my next high no matter where I am or what mood I'm in. We might die tomorrow though, and these things help my enjoy the moment.
>>
Reuben Pozzleville - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 18:36:33 EST LZcwMVpc No.530388 Reply
Well fuck it then I guess
>>
Basil Nidgetodging - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 19:22:06 EST rJTYfpos No.530392 Reply
Do you have any goals in life, man? Anything you're working toward? Like try to examine if doing these things is helping or hurting you.

Just Being Alive is Exhausting

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- Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:36:34 EST Nwk2nHng No.530366
File: 1562873794776.jpg -(148480B / 145.00KB, 600x941) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Just Being Alive is Exhausting
I don't know how people do it past their 30's, unless they spent their 20's making something of themselves.

Instead I climbed out of a hole and learned to use tools. I became a tradesman. I quit games and porn. I became fit. I learned a second language and continued developing myself as a human bean.

Now after a 5+ year relationship, blown to smoke, I am still living on a paycheck to paycheck basis. I am back in my parents home.

I thought I met my soulmate and she spent this morning barely even looking at me before she leaves for several days out to a festival.

My very soul is just a mirage that becomes a desert full of filth and shit the second you take the time to look too close.

This is probably where I finally bottom out. I have done everything I can imagine to open my heart, be at my best and experience everything life has to offer.

I always liked coming here when the rest of the internet was full of trash, so I thought it'd be fitting to say this here.

I am just so tired of existing. It is never going to get any better - for me.

It will for most of you.
Good luck.
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Samuel Giffingwater - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 17:42:47 EST l1NmIjLu No.530369 Reply
1562881367407.jpg -(62014B / 60.56KB, 736x732) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>530366
If you decide to live there is nothing better than living for the greatness that is possible. Even if you fail or you are already in the twilight there is nothing better than to die living your truth, you find out that all the distractions aren't worth it in the end unless you really aren't able to see something greater in life, if you can I'd recommend a lifelong battle and death rather than lowering your standards to where you lose sight of what was dreamt..
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Fanny Seblingsten - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 13:52:01 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530381 Reply
>>530368
I'm super de duper in the God damn pooper out of control high as absolute fuck on weed right now, man. Hope you made it through ok, either up this morning to to the other side...

Delimma or some shit?

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- Thu, 11 Jul 2019 19:01:44 EST Ki17+5hC No.530371
File: 1562886104461.jpg -(325040B / 317.42KB, 1108x1390) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Delimma or some shit?
So at 29 years of age I finally lucked out and got a girlfriend, had sex, and were still dating. (Before I was a loser virgin.) I don't get to see her often because she lives a hour away and our schedules mostly conflict. After just 3 months of this seeing her once or twice a week she asked me to move in with her. It makes sense because the lease at my current apartment will run out in a few months and my roomie/friend wants to move even father away.
I really like her, if I was to wish up a perfect GF she would be the template with only a few changes. Just seems kinda haphazard to move in having not really spent all that much time together. I've spend a couple weekends with her but 2 days really isn't enough to tell if you can stand someone long term. I mean, if it doesn't work out with her chances are good I won't be able to move back in with my friend, all I could do is go stay in one of my sisters spare rooms.
This also means changing jobs because where I work now (I'm not super fond of anyway) would be like a 2 hour drive one way. I always have trouble finding new jobs because I can't fucking stand retail/hospitality and I cant drive very well so I'm not gonna attempt that as a career and that's like 95% of jobs I see available, but I digress.


So here's the real issue. I fucking love cock. I'm hella gay, but still do like women. I'm ok now but I know at some point in the future I'm gonna really start to think abut what I'm missing out on. Vagina is kinda gross to me honestly. But at the same time I'm telling myself "HOLD ONTO HER THIS IS YOUR ONLY SHOT AT HAPPYNESS." because I spend fucking 29 years soul-crushingly alone. I gave a blowjob once to a friend once, it was fucking amazing. I want to do that again.

I can already feel myself losing interest in her, but maybe its just the initial high of having a GF wearing off, or maybe I'm just realizing I'm more gay then I think I am?
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Edward Shakestock - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 13:33:38 EST uUOICH4f No.530380 Reply
>>530371
I like dick and pussy, both fairly equally - but I lucked out and married a woman who whips out the biggest vinyl dicks and fucks me stupid with them, wears a strap on and makes me 'blow' her, likes getting anal, etc. TBH I have no issue being with her the rest of my life because damn. Damn.

So unless you have that sexual chemistry with your current gf, honestly..... don't be selfish and put her through shit if you don't really want to be with her. Be honest though, because you never know, she might be a freak, and want MMF threesomes and the likes.

It's OK to have some hesitation in relationships but I think maybe you should go get a dick in your ass. AFTER you end it with this chick tho. Don't be a shitstain with other people's hearts, and do not use other people for your emotional safety net.
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Phoebe Bennerpare - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 14:50:26 EST bZjBiC2x No.530383 Reply
>>530380
I agree with this but I just want to say OP you're raising red flags.
>commitment after seeing eachother maybe 20 times
Dude you barely know her. She's probably nice but she may be crazy and you don't know her well enough. You are already losing interest. You love the idea of proving you can have a woman more than you love her. You are bad news but honestly she's probably crazy or playing the same game as you too.

I mean it may be legit but there are so many reasons to at least stop and think. If not outright GTFO and find a nice man to settle down with instead.
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Martin Clebbletut - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 14:54:22 EST +mthBUDb No.530384 Reply
>>530383
For real, for real. Red flags.

>"HOLD ONTO HER THIS IS YOUR ONLY SHOT AT HAPPYNESS."
At this point in a relationship, it's a huge one. It's understandable where you're coming from, OP, but it's really dangerous thinking.

what do i do

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- Tue, 09 Jul 2019 19:26:18 EST WNFQju07 No.530328
File: 1562714778020.jpg -(474948B / 463.82KB, 2400x2400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what do i do
My whole family is dead and I spent my life alone. I'm in my mid-twenties, and working on a degree, doing weird work here and there. Right now I'm an intern. I have no idea how to interact with other people, and I don't feel anything. I'm always an outcast because I don't talk to anyone. And because of that people are often hostile towards me.

I exercise, eat right, everything. I was doing all the "normie advice" shit before I even recognized that I had a severe problem.

My major fears are homelessness and unjust persecution. If I get cancer I'm going to die alone. If I end up homeless I'm going to die alone. If I get thrown in prison for things I didn't do, I'm going to die in there alone because nobody is going to vouch for me and nobody will care.

What do I do
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Lillian Brookhall - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 17:45:03 EST 5hoo7SWe No.530370 Reply
>>530328
Tired of life but too lazy to kill yourself? Become an electrician! Preferably a linesman or someone who works with transmission lines or does work at high elevations that "require" a harness. That way you can put your life in extreme danger every time you go to work, and nobody can suspect you chose that line of work because of a death wish! In fact, people may respect you for being such a manly tradesman, also the work would keep you in shape.
Power on brother!
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Edward Horrystock - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 19:43:20 EST /K54zcif No.530373 Reply
I know it, you know it, they know it. Hello surplus, what should we do with you? People like you are destined to only a handful of fates. I would recommend that you start by reading the air a little. Family, friends were merely an aegis and now you have to turn to what's in your right hand. Stop looking for an easy way out. What you want is to be effective, that's your real desire whether you know it or not. The counterpart to your misery and loss, potentially the only one.

You know they're not ever going to love you right? They love what you do or don't represent. What do you represent? So I want you to visualize tomorrow and the next day, and all the days after until the day the door closes on your wretched lukewarm existence and I can finally breath relief it's over- and then tell me about what you're going to do tomorrow. It should look like:

I'm going to strip out everything and anyone that's become dead weight
I'm going to skip my classes today because I need to buy amphetamines and root my phone
...and I'm switching my major anyways.
I'm opening a savings account
I'm reducing my class load to free up my schedule
Monday I'm going to start scouting properties

And that's your pace from here on out.
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George Cublingdale - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 00:13:24 EST 5u3RlB6q No.530376 Reply
>>530370
lmfaoo i just watched life on the line recently this comment is fucking hilarious

anything provocative about initiating conversation with women?

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- Sun, 07 Jul 2019 13:33:31 EST oi3dpPBT No.530267
File: 1562520811264.jpg -(148322B / 144.85KB, 800x1022) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. anything provocative about initiating conversation with women?
Hey qq

So I am an autist loner with serious communication/social skills issues, but sometimes I like to go to raves and while I am there (if I'm high enough and not overwhelmed with anxiety) go up to strangers and start conversations.

This is apparently normal behaviour at hippie-tier parties so I feel like I'm doing what's expected of me when I try and befriend strangers. But I only really start conversations with other guys as I view a guy starting a conversation with a guy as just friendly behaviour and not inherently provocative in any way. But I have a different view about talking to women... in my mind if a man goes up to a woman without having a clear, valid reason for talking to her, that is an "approach" and thus will be deemed inherently as a sexual advance and therefore the woman will have been provoked and become hostile if she is not attracted to him.

Typing this I realise that sounds slightly irrational. I always held this as assumption in my mind but thinking back I haven't had that many experiences that suggest this is true. Will girls automatically assume I am trying to fuck them if go up to them and start a conversation?

I am going to a festival on Friday and wanna practice going out of my comfort zone by approaching more people.... if I decide I'm gonna try to talk to X number of girls per day can I expect them to get hostile and defensive? Not even necessarily wanting to get laid (obviously that would be nice but I doubt it will happen) I've just had enough of social anxiety ruining my life.
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Jack Brussledale - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 11:35:54 EST 2dpbGRKS No.530363 Reply
>>530323
are You OP?
that's pretty cool though even if it was the drugs and she hopped on another penis
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Nell Buzzville - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:54:29 EST h9SterRi No.530365 Reply
>>530267
Ayyy boys, im also in this boat. I really suck at talking to girls. I virtually have more chance of sleeping with girls im not attracted to bcos its easier to talk to them. My last lucky shot happened when i forced myself to start talking to people, and had a little conversation with a chubster. At some point she said "ok lets drink tpgether tomorrow night" and we did. At some point my leg was against hers and i just left it there. It felt like the easiest thing in the world somehow. Just get drunk and somehow fall between each others legs.
Now im losing my shit a little bit over a girl that obviously likes me but we dont know amythimg about each other. We live in the same building and the other night i was out smoking a joint when she comes home from the pub. She asks me for a paper as an excuse to start a conversation and i cant help but melt when i look into her eyes. I am however horribly sleep deprived and a little stoned at that point, ive beem working alot the last few weeks so also just busy and tired. I realise in hindsight that i ahouldve been at least a little bit nicer and tried more to facillitate this connection. But fuck... i make these mistakes all the time. The rest of the time im just too nervous and inhibited to start a conversation about nothing and see where it goes. But thats all you have to do...the rest will do itself.
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Archie Ginnerwell - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 23:00:52 EST SLZ94LIZ No.530375 Reply
1562900452250.jpg -(153417B / 149.82KB, 1100x687) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>530363
thanks man I am not OP I am >>530268 (don't we have ID's here breh?), and yeah I think it was the drugs mostly me on the MDMA and more importantly indecision! That's what I was trying to warn OP about. I don't lurk this board much and never posted, I REALLY appreciate the kindness from this thread. Gives me hope that I haven't gotten anywhere else. The other thread about anxiety gave me hope too even just reading other people's experiences. I just came in to wish OP well before his festival. OP I hope the vibes and intuition guide you. Have fun, that's what everyone's there for!

I'm depressed and everything sucks

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- Sat, 06 Jul 2019 00:05:07 EST em7ipYii No.530224
File: 1562385907295.jpg -(303823B / 296.70KB, 1280x1024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm depressed and everything sucks
I'm halfway though my twenties and I've realized I spent the last half decade slowly becoming a lonely salty cunt. For the past 5 years I invested the majority of my time into my career and my hobbies, but I just don't find any of it fulfilling anymore. The future that I've been working so hard towards feels like nothing more than a pipe dream now. I haven't had a relationship or any intimacy in forever, my friends have all moved away or died. The disillusionment I feel towards the world is immense, and I wonder if I'll ever be happy in this weird bizarro reality.

How do I get out of this mess? I've been trying to fight my depression by exercising, watching my diet, learning things, staying busy, but I've slipped back into another downward spiral. I've never felt this low before though, I struggle to even pretend that I'm happy now. People have been making comments to me, asking me if I'm alright, what's wrong, etc. I just tell them I'm tired, I'm always tired. My parents have noticed and they want me on medication but I've taken SSRIs before and they suck ass. I feel trapped, I need to escape this mental hell I've created for myself but I don't know how. Everything about the world seems so bleak, people so callused and apathetic, nothing gives me hope.

I need to rekindle the lust for life inside of me. I want to make good friends and love amazing people. I want to be happy and share that feeling with others. It's such a simple need and yet it feels impossibly out of reach.

I'm wondering about this boards personal experiences with depression. What has helped you get out of a rut? I'm open to anything at this point.
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Archie Blidgeket - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 20:19:05 EST em7ipYii No.530347 Reply
1562804345776.jpg -(42190B / 41.20KB, 540x405) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
OP here.

I stopped smoking weed and that has stabilized me somewhat. Still feel pretty shitty at times but my depression feels less intense. Plus I've been having dreams at night again.

My pot consumption was really low for the last 6 months, less than a gram a week. I didn't think it was really doing anything to me but apparently it was.

Pretty bummed about this because I really liked smoking weed after work to help me relax.
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Fucking Fommerwot - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 21:41:11 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530351 Reply
>>530347
It can become a crutch man.. Good job recognizing that.
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Cornelius Hogglekodge - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:35:14 EST oXo9Ddud No.530364 Reply
>>530224
It sounds like youve done well enough to indulge yourself, but you have no duties are aren't truly responsible for anything. Nothing hangs in the balance for you. I would strongky advise deleting social media, dont use local chats where people just talk over eachother, and try volunteering on the weekends.

Take othrr peoples stories into your hands. You will gain perspextove snd be able to tell yourself you made an actual difference at the end of the day.

I am just starting this as a broken down 30 year old man. It doesnt get a whole lot better but I haven't done any russian roulette like my last birthday - so here's to us.

How do I stop being a bitch without abandoning my convictions?

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- Fri, 05 Jul 2019 02:31:06 EST Je9nm5wp No.530210
File: 1562308266854.jpg -(38771B / 37.86KB, 800x522) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I stop being a bitch without abandoning my convictions?
I have very strong political beliefs, everyone in my family does. Half of us are either liberals or further to the left (where I fall) and the other half are hard, hard right. We're basically split right down the middle. Leads to lots of arguments but most of them remain civil, and when things get too heated we just agree to stop talking about it.

Recently though, things have really taken a turn for the worse. In the past, the people who really agitate were the people on the right and the rest of us kind of rolled our eyes and change the subject, offering soft rebuttals whenever something way too absurd is said. But at this point we've really just gotten tired their shit and come out of the gate swinging, and things escalate VERY quickly. I've seen people get angrier than I've ever seen them get over anything. To the point where it was genuinely frightening and felt like it could quickly spiral into blows or at least permanent damage to relationships.

Everyone says things they regret and the increased tension is always kind of present no matter what. Like it'll only take one off comment by someone on either side to get shit going.

I mean obviously I love my family, which is why it's so hard when they say absolutely reprehensible shit. You can't do anything about it. It's to the point where some of the things they believe aren't "just opinions", it's not like they're just conservatives like they used to be, in recent times they've been pushed FAR to the right. Us on the left feel as though we have a moral obligation not to let some of their shit stand.

From our perspective, it's impossible to just roll your eyes when they suggest putting up garrisons at the border to shoot the "invaders" before they can cross. Or they say the preacher who suggested the death penalty for homosexuals "might be on to something". Or following an animal abuse scandal at a local farm say "they should've known better than to hire Mexicans". Or call atheists and Muslims "satanists". Or say AIDS is a "gay plague" that is actually good because it discourages people from being gay. Or say doctors should get life in prison for performing abortions. Or call climate change a "conspiracy theory".

Like I said, we're not talking about people who just think we should take a hands' off approach to the economy and lower taxes and protect gun rights. We're talking about people with extreme disdain for a huge percentage of their fellow human beings.

That being said, if anyone in my family were to be the target of political violence it would destroy me. At the same time though, I don't necessarily disagree with the necessity of it.

Today my aunt was devastated because she was very attached to that Ravelry thing that put a stand against, well, people like her. And she was driven out of the community by people she considered friends. It makes me so fucking sad that this is happening to her. But at the same time, I don't disagree with anything Ravelry said or did, in principle.

We've started arguing with our own flesh and blood with so much vitriol but when I really take a step back, I have a lot of sympathy for the other side. They're just misinformed, and scared, and desperately trying to extract some sort of meaning from life and doing it in the only way they know how. When they're upset by NFL players kneeling or changing demographics it's so easy to write it off as dumb jingoism and prejudice but it cuts them to the core. They've found so much personal meaning in shit that is objectively meaningless and they've dug their heals in instead of realizing that their beliefs aren't grounded in reality and are causing real harm to society.

They don't see their hatred as such, they see it as love for "their people", but that means nothing. It's just primitive us vs. them thinking. I know exactly how it feels. I've been on the extreme right myself. You don't operate in reason. It FEELS like you're right, so you must be but you just aren't. And it takes a lot to be deprogrammed from that.
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Lillian Grandcocke - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 06:23:41 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530357 Reply
>>530356
>everyone else is a fool for having beliefs but me, who has none :^)
truly, you are the enlightened one here. nb
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Barnaby Clinkinhood - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:01:17 EST A8m11hb5 No.530358 Reply
>>530356
>we DON'T live in a society!!
>WE DON'T WE DON'T WE DON'T!! *stomps foot angrily*
But we do.
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James Firrywater - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 10:32:45 EST Je9nm5wp No.530362 Reply
>>530356
Alright well Charles Dickens thanks for gracing my thread, theres a lot of shit there but I'm just gonna say you strike me as the kind of centrist lib who caused the Weimar Republic to fall. Please see >>530313.

If someone is saying they want to take away peoples human rights, bring down our democracy, deport certain ethnicities en masse, or even go so far as to institutionalize killing people for things they can't change, to campaign so hard for their rights is completely self-destructive and stupid. Even, dare I say it, c*cked.

That of course would assume that you're defending these people out of love of some abstract ideal, and not because you actually agree with them and that

>That's a hard one because there's so many situations where it's the right thing

is probably not true.

And last and certainly least:

>Climate change in the direction we're headed may very well be a natural cycle. It's happening, but we don't really know what the outcome will be.

This just isn't true. People like to defend science to the death when it agrees with them and conveniently ignore the bits that don't. There is reams and reams of research suggesting anthropogenic climate change on an unimaginable scale. Why should we risk the world literally ending because "actually if you look at these studies funded by the oil industries, it kind of casts doubt on the whole thing, I'm really smart"

Living your life as a jerk

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- Mon, 29 Apr 2019 08:09:06 EST qSBAVAm/ No.529066
File: 1556539746975.jpg -(155233B / 151.59KB, 867x1390) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Living your life as a jerk
>lived my entire life (so far) only to find out that I have never been able to socialize because I was an annoying jerk with no manners and just generally unpleasant to be around

I bet that this is 99% of all "enthusiasm" cases. My only serenity is that I only found out because I am improving, but I often realize that I have a long way to go before I am completely healed.
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John Dollyworth - Mon, 08 Jul 2019 09:32:04 EST qSBAVAm/ No.530289 Reply
>>529745
>my ties to family are very thin and just superficial.
I recently realized this too. Absolutely the worst feel.

>>529759
>>529761
I don't have this problem anymore though. I solved my problems by learning basic social skills which is actually very easy and makes tons of sense if you just realize the very basics. I am still learning and I am currently in the process of exploring how you socialize.
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Barnaby Clinkinhood - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:16:27 EST A8m11hb5 No.530359 Reply
>>529076
When I was in school we didn't have aspergers or asd. You were literally Ralph from The Simpsons, but with a temper. Very off-putting.

Getting sexually harassed by grandmas at my workplace

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- Sat, 06 Jul 2019 07:00:11 EST 3rRLu48v No.530231
File: 1562410811957.jpg -(158297B / 154.59KB, 540x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Getting sexually harassed by grandmas at my workplace
Male, 25 here.

We've had a summer-fair at my workplace (home for elderlies) 2 days ago.

My job is to do what caretakers do: Help with shopping, hygiene and food-preparation.

Our boss "recommended" that we dance with the old ladies to some horrible music. I didn't want to do this, because of kinda shy and the thought about a old and stranger person press herself against me, made me really uncomfortable.

But every other coworker grabbed an old person and danced away and my boss looked at me with that requesting look.

So I did what I had to do, tried to make it as enjoyable for the grann as possible (smiles and all) but then she grabbed and squeezed my butt and when I had to bring her to her room after the music, she tried to fucking kiss me!!

I think its important to add that not all residents are senile here. And she was one of these who arent! So she knew exactly what she was doing (even saying that I am married did not help. She stopped but tried it again!)

I nearly threw up!
I was disgusted and I couldn't smile or anything.

I had the whole day nightmares and I tried to avoid this particular person during my shift.

I told it my coworker and she laughed it off. I tried to tell it more people I trust at my workplace, but everyone laughed it off.
They experienced it too, but it was nothing to them.

How is this even remotely okay?

Some days forward and the female nurses complained about our male residents getting erections. ( a thing I don't have a problem with when taking care of our male residents, but I would never downplay their experiences!), and theygot all the support from our staff. Changing shifts and hours and all!

Thinking about quitting, but I am afraid its the same in very other home.

Its a shame, because I really loved my workplace and everyone was super satisfied with my job!

Anyone else in this profession who experienced this shit?
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Jenny Fuckinggold - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 17:33:13 EST WBVk7rcL No.530343 Reply
>>530340

Nigga, for all you know, OP was molest by grandmother

"Hurr-durr, breathing masks? Those are just gor the egg-heads upstaire. You're a gield engineer, boy!"

-nobody
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Doris Hurryman - Wed, 10 Jul 2019 19:14:27 EST yjKCqZwL No.530345 Reply
>>530340
Fucking castrati here can't handle the coogs at his job he'll never land a girlfriend
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Lillian Grandcocke - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 07:58:05 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530361 Reply
>>530340
You're the reason why MRAs are so loud and annoying these days. Fuck off and die, wastedump.

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