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Man.

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- Sun, 23 Jan 2022 08:46:35 EST 185ez9uE No.541889
File: 1642945595952.jpg -(53153B / 51.91KB, 640x489) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Man.
Last night, this girl that I've hooked up with before got drunk, invited herself over and tried to make me have sex with her despite me repeatedly saying that I had other things to do that night/this morning. When she still showed up at my door I let her in but I didn't budge on what I'd already said, and she had a fucking meltdown over it. I spent all night and part of this morning consoling this woman because my not wanting to fuck her on this one specific occasion made her break down.

The more I think about it, the more of a red flag it is to me, and I think I want to get more space from this person moving forward. I absolutely hate feeling pressured into sex in any way, and I don't think there should ever be an expectation of hospitality/more sex just because you've been over at someone's place on a different occasion. Imagine if some dude just appeared at a woman's door, let himself in and demanded that they fug, that's bad vibes.

I really don't know how to proceed moving forward though, because at the end of the day I did unlock my door for her in the first place and sort of tacitly let this happen. I'd feel like a bastard suddenly going cold after she was that vulnerable in front of me, but I'd also feel like a bastard to myself if I got into a position like this more than once with the same person. I don't know, maybe I'll just keep my distance and let the air clear and then talk to her about it. Just wanted to vent about this, but if any of you guys have navigated a situation like this before I'd love to hear about how you did it.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Angus Bammernat - Sat, 29 Jan 2022 15:07:55 EST KdEqEu6P No.541937 Reply
1643486875307.png -(111615B / 109.00KB, 500x344) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
OP here, as a bit of an update I did end up telling her we should have some space while I personally get a better sense of what I do/don't want out of shit like this. The conversation was super rough, it showed me just how many red flags she'd been waving at me and also that I'm not all that great at communication, at least at this point in time.

As it stands I'm solo again, and I think it was the right move. If I do talk to this girl again in another month or two I'll definitely be a lot more clear upfront with where my boundaries really lie. My gut's telling me that we won't actually hook up again after this distance is over with though, so I'll just take this newfound knowledge into whatever I get up to next.
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Eugene Munningville - Mon, 31 Jan 2022 15:58:12 EST X+CKt9KC No.541976 Reply
>>541937
When you date someone, you date their lifestyle. Date a dramatic or crazy person, and you're going to have a dramatic or crazy life. I don't know how right they were, but the Epicureans (ancient Greek philosophers who philosophized about happiness) basically believed happiness WAS tranquility. If someone disturbs your sense of tranquility and happiness, then being with them won't lead to a happy life. That's why it's important to be selective about the people you let into your life.

I think you should seek a partner who will support the lifestyle you want. I think you did the right thing.
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Nell Tillingfield - Tue, 01 Feb 2022 08:22:15 EST 2Hs+Jr13 No.541985 Reply
>>541937

Nice one, you kept it real, you spoke your piece - can't hate that.

If you struggle with communication man just keep some basic shit in mind - truth, respect and integrity.

Say your truth in a respectful manner and when lost of what to say, keep in mind your integrity.

You can very gently tell people that they are behaving like total cunts and you have no place for them in your life.

When struggling just try go into some sort of diplomatic/unemotional headspace and just very bluntly, mathematically and truthfully lay out your concerns. Do not give a fuck about how odd you are going to appear.

Be super cautious about over inflating the scope of your issues with someone by tossing out statements that sound like "you ALWAYS are like this" or "THIS is why *insert bigger issue*" - keep the scope contained and you can very formally dress a situation down with someone feeling totally attacked.

However buyer beware, when you start telling people your issues with them truthfully and don't fuck about with it - you will be wandering into emotional/unreasonable/illogical responses left right and centre as the "victim" of your truthful words begins to perform mental and emotional gymnastics dodging bullets like Neo from The Matrix.

BUT you will begin to feel a kind of self respect you never had before. So it's a win/win scenario regardless of outcome with the other person.

Leverage truthfulness to extract that sweet sweet self respect my friend.

I'm finally quitting

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- Sat, 08 Jan 2022 20:41:22 EST G93XVWG0 No.541749
File: 1641692482173.png -(37974B / 37.08KB, 228x271) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm finally quitting
I'm quitting my job. On Monday, I'm giving notice and sorting out payment for my vacation time. I have savings to cover a year of food and bills. I'm sick, mentally sick from working.

There's a trend of people leaving jobs, and there are social outlets for it, such as r/antiwork. I find popular posts there to get it wrong. It's full of ">capitalism" but capitalism isn't the issue. Communism wouldn't resolve a lack of purpose. Neither would a larger pay check (though a larger paycheck can solve loads of other problems). The issue I identify is the great economic machine that we're nonconsensually apart of. The machine is indifferent towards terms like capitalism. This machine grinds us down because each worker does so little individually. While corporations as a whole, like UPS, pulls off an effective operation, the individual employee does so little that the individual doesn't matter. And replacing the corporation with the state doesn't change that.

Also, I just can't find a reason to keep working. "Buy" a house? Mortgage is a contract that ensures you keep working. I just don't see the purpose in working for the sake of working. The only motivation I see is "work or else!" And that's an undesirable way to live.

Can anybody advise me on what kind of jobs to look for that may feel worth my time? I live in a town of about 35k. I immediately think I should apply to every family owned business in the area. I decided I really only need about $700-1000 a month to afford my bills and food. I'm privileged in the sense that I have the financial freedom to be patient and search for several months without strain. So tell me what you would do in this situation.

(Btw, a lot of posts whining about life often get very good advice along the lines of, "eat well. Exercise. Etc.." I am. My diet is a clean 40 40 20 macro split and I'm training rather hard every day on my bike trainer.)
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Augustus Chibbleshit - Mon, 17 Jan 2022 11:12:45 EST YcHHyWF7 No.541828 Reply
>>541827
Wat

Get a place with roommates.

It's way more fun in your 20s to pretend to be a careless teenager with other guys in their mid 20s than it is to pretend to be a married boomer with a girl who just practicing on you.
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Augustus Chibbleshit - Mon, 17 Jan 2022 11:16:59 EST YcHHyWF7 No.541829 Reply
>>541826
They're saying that looking to find other people who are responsible for your failures at life is not a step you take when there's parts of your life that need to change. You're focusing on accountability for the people who hurt you instead of doing what you need to do to change what needs to be changed. It's causing you to portray shitty behavior to random folks who don't have anything to do with you.

How do I get over this and grow up?

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- Wed, 22 Sep 2021 01:03:36 EST FUaMdaVb No.540560
File: 1632287016306.jpg -(252289B / 246.38KB, 696x800) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I get over this and grow up?
How do you cope with rejection? This one guy says he can't be that person because of my attempts to unalive myself, psychotic episodes, etc. He also finds my enthusiasm unattractive. I can handle being given "no" for an answer, but it makes me feel upset that he was cruel to me and I can't control how he feels about me. If this is how he felt, he shouldn't have raped me. I'm angry he's insinuating my disabilities make me unworthy of love. I wish his rejection revolved around things I could work on. He makes me feel like my life is meaningless, and it hurts. I've loved him for years but no matter what I do, he won't love me. Lots of painful stories ya'll would probably laugh at but I'll keep this sweet and to the point: how do I stop loving this person? I want him to be dead to me.
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Lillian Poshfere - Mon, 17 Jan 2022 08:03:38 EST BHtN0HP8 No.541825 Reply
>>541820
Because psychiatry works 🤷‍♂️
Anti-science rhetoric is dumbass school shooter talk.

No bump.

I miss my grandpa

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- Thu, 13 Jan 2022 22:21:03 EST vJji9HNW No.541800
File: 1642130463640.jpg -(68213B / 66.61KB, 640x629) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I miss my grandpa
I miss my grandpa. He went early in life and I never appreciated the time we had together.
User is currently banned from all boards 1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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le Bananier - Sat, 15 Jan 2022 11:34:42 EST nc5+4nVQ No.541810 Reply
>>541800
You know? My grandma had Alzheimer's
Last I saw her, she was in a geriatric facility.
Then COVID happened.

I suspect she's dead. I have heard absolutely nothing about her, for a long time.
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Caroline Brookman - Sun, 16 Jan 2022 07:11:51 EST YrX3+HFr No.541812 Reply
>>541810
bad news tends to reach us at some point, no news is usually good news, but unfortunately that's not always true.

covid is such a shit when you love an old person, even if they never get covid, you don't get to see them at the time in their life when connection is most important to them, and if there's any dementia or anything, they don't understand why

I can't make up my mind; Fear & Anxiety

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- Fri, 14 Jan 2022 20:22:37 EST aGygch0V No.541804
File: 1642209757790.jpg -(311418B / 304.12KB, 719x1111) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I can't make up my mind; Fear & Anxiety
I can't decide if I should smoke or not. I know that sounds like a joke & not something to get stressed about but I'll try to explain why I'm agonizing over something so simple.
I have extreme OCD and I actually use medical cannabis as medicine. It's one of the only things that relieves my anxiety. I've been sober for 60 days as part of a job application process. I took my test last Tuesday, day 57, and the over-the-counter drug test I took the night before said I was clean (double line piss stick, generic equate brand).
I've been miserable the entire time. I've had to rely on cocktails of other drugs that aren't as effective & I don't like as much like Xanax, Ambien, and Benadryl to help me relax in social situations and sleep.
>So why not just smoke if I've already taken the test and am this miserable?
I haven't heard back about the results of the test yet, and I'm paranoid that rather than a straight up pass or fail, which would at least be conclusive, it's going to come back as "inconclusive" or "invalid" or such (like there's the 0.1% chance all the Benedryl I was taking will show a false positive for PCP, or stupid paranoid shit like that) and I'll be asked to retest.
The position I've applied for pays $27 an hour to start and has benefits & other perks that other competing companies don't offer, most of them only pay $18-$20 with no benefits, so it really is a good opportunity I probably won't get again with how my resume looks. My parents are helping me buy a house so I can finally move out and start my life over, and this job would help make sure that I'm definitely making enough money to pay them back for the mortgage they're helping me secure.
It might be another few days before I hear back conclusively, and every day has been a little harder. I literally almost hit the vape before I wrote this.
>Okay, if you're that paranoid why take the risk, just wait a few more days?
Because in the next few days, I have a chance to see the woman I loved more than anything & fucked things up with one more time. She moved to Europe a few years ago for school, but we've been corresponding via email. Given the state of the world, I'm legitimately worried I may never see her again if there's a war, or the pandemic gets worse somehow, or if one of us just has a regular old accident.
I want to be as bombastic and likable as possible, and that's what weed does to me. It helps me be funnier and more likable, to not get hung up on stupid shit and just let myself relax. It makes me feel human. I don't want to feel anything less than amazing going into this reunion. I know it's not like she's going to get back into a relationship with me based on one dinner, even if she wanted to the distance is too great. But what if she moves back here some day? I'd want our last encounter to be wonderful. And even barring that, why should I let my fear hold me hostage based on a paranoid, unlikely scenario of the test not just coming back pass or fail?
I hate how this world is falling apart, how I'm caught up in rules made by dead men and enforced by people who literally don't give a shit and are only going through the motions because that's what the forms they have to fill out say to do.
I don't know what I even expect anyone to say. Maybe I just need to vent. Both of my options make me sound pathetic; on the one hand I'm willing to compromise and live in fear at the behest of a faceless corporation, on the other hand I feel so pathetic for feeling like I need drugs (however legitimately) to be an enjoyable companion.

What would you do?
User is currently banned from all boards
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Nicholas Fobberfetch - Sat, 15 Jan 2022 07:16:27 EST ROIXDQ1W No.541805 Reply
>>541804
>What would you do?
If you're clean, wait until you've got the job in hand before you smoke. There are time-wasting drugs they don't test for like mushrooms.
>why should I let my fear hold me hostage
Fantastic question regarding all the other stuff you just said. Actually an excellent question. Everything fails, and even if it doesn't, it never ends up comparing well to the picture in your head before you saw it. Listen to that old Paul Simon tune Kodachrome. Your vision of the future is perfect, that's why you're always so disappointed when you arrive in it. Your vision of the past is tainted by this disappointment. Accept things as they are and you will go farther - even accept your own failures and imperfections.

And that doesn't mean that you should frogpost and portray your worst qualities as your best qualities while all the other misanthropes agree with you. It means that you know that you have stuff to work on, so work on it, and you know you have good times ahead so enjoy them.
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Nicholas Henderham - Sun, 16 Jan 2022 02:10:01 EST aGygch0V No.541811 Reply
1642317001014.jpg -(65606B / 64.07KB, 360x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>541805

Thanks for the reassurance. I've decided to hold out, gonna stay clean until I get confirmation. Just gonna do my best to be charming and sociable on my other chems when I get to see my ex. The past is gone, even the best weed experience won't change that. No sense in risking the future to spend one more day in the past.
I really hope someone does something nice for you, friend, I would if I could. All I have for you is this mildly humorous image. Thank you for trying.
User is currently banned from all boards

Transfemanon fails to see the point

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- Fri, 07 Jan 2022 22:53:56 EST UH2AriB/ No.541730
File: 1641614036197.jpg -(187485B / 183.09KB, 760x1280) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Transfemanon fails to see the point
Hello there, kids,

See I vented in a comment earlier, I would like to vent further to you sweet, sweet people.

You see, from what I gather, I am some form of bipolar, which is absolutely the thing that has destroyed my life most.

What I recall aboot childhood is.... well, nothing! I had none!
This cunt haver that I came out of basically kidnapped me for like years, I was unable to see my old man until the age of around 3.

I started school later than other kids. Because I could impredictably go from hyperactivity to a primitive suicide attempt I was 99% avoided like the plague. Of course, I was given amphetamines briefly, becuase ADHD was very trendy, and no one diagnoses a child with bipolar, especially if you literally never talk to the child.

At some point I started to feel on edge, always. Like I needed to be very tough because I was perpetually under attack.

When puberty hit, I turned my attention to very very fucked content, I developed very sadistic and masochistic tendencies, I did kill animals, just.... I dont know, the whole nine yards, absolutely a serial killer in the making.

Due to a very intense long distance relationship I did change course, for, reasons.

I became an anbsolute waste of a human being. I was always drunk, I self harmed, things weren't good.

During this time I did end up doing things that my mother wanted me to, but I did not.

In the end.... I decided to start hormones, because, you see, I had this buzzing in my head, since like age 15-16, that I was a girl.
(This caused my mother to stop being a character in my life. And led me to realize that.... well, I had made her up in my head and she wasnt who I thought she was.)

Things were lollipops and rainbows for a bit.

In fact, to be completely honest, my life is still upgraded.

Now, as stated in another post, one of my current problems is I complusively try to look for openings to have sex with people that I absolutely should not. I do hypothesize that Im just unable to bond without sex.

In general, my life feels empty, I have cool people around me (even if I have no clue how to get close to them if it isnt by fucking their fucking brains out or trying to.), I have a job that is extremely good by my country's standards, fuck, I have a very good boyfriend that loves me and I can literally see nothing wrong in him, but I just want to stallion the bastard so bad.

What is missing? Why do I roll in my bed at night staring at the ceiling? also why do I compulsively try to fuck people I shouldnt? is it just low self esteem?

Also yeah I wonder sometimes if I did the wrong thing by transitioning but I did try to stop once and it only made things worse, its like my gears stopped turning.

btw if you indulge me being a petulant little child for a bit longer: Im supposed to get facial feminization surgery soon. You do not know the fear that I feel. and how much talking to yourself it involves. I'm not ugly, I just think that, maybe, very up close, people can sometimes "tell". I feel bad for people who call me pretty now. But I feel worse for people who don't realize that I'm a monster. And this will intensify after surgery. You're giving Satan a pretty face.
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le Bananier - Sat, 15 Jan 2022 11:08:07 EST nc5+4nVQ No.541807 Reply
>>541752
>I'm a woman and you don't disturb me
Sorry. I do what I can. I think I'm already better than I used to be.
>Do you judge yourself harshly or are you ok with yourself
My mother bullied me about this, and made me expect hostility from everyone. and when i was a kid she was extremely hostile to trans people. I know I picked up some of that.

>If the idea of having ASPD is upsetting for you then you don't have ASPD
antisocial? I dont believe so.
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le Bananier - Sat, 15 Jan 2022 11:10:18 EST nc5+4nVQ No.541808 Reply
>>541753
>Please allow me to be the jerk in the room and ask why seemingly most of the trans people I've met appear to be obsessed with sex?

In my case I know it's down to emotional issues. For one I've been trained to feel undesirable, and for 2 very often I just find it really hard to be close/affectionate to someone without sexualizing it. That, by itself, probably has deep psychotherapy tangents i dont wanna get into.
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le Bananier - Sat, 15 Jan 2022 11:15:07 EST nc5+4nVQ No.541809 Reply
>>541770
>psychotherapists almost always have zero training in psychiatry, many psychotherapists don't use the DSM and don't believe in it
my therapist was almost like this.
With that being said this discussion is interesting keep it up

My life is very poor

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- Mon, 20 Dec 2021 11:50:45 EST t8h/1fCl No.541608
File: 1640019045844.jpg -(429988B / 419.91KB, 1080x1920) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My life is very poor
After years and years of depression that consumed most of my early adulthood I am finally okay. I have no major disturbances, I am on a very low dose of anti-psychotics, and I don't go to therapy anymore.

I have also started working out, going to bed earlier, I found a good job that isn't too tiring but still pays well.

Because for the first time at 33 I have all that stuff sorted, I can't help by notice how poor my life is. Poor romantically and socially. With how I was before I couldn't even think about those things. But now I am faced with the question of how to even start building at 33 what most people start building at 16.

I have very few friends. Some of them have emigrated to other countries so they are now online friends most of the time and we only see each other physically once every year or two.

My days consist of going to work, working out at home, and sleeping. On the weekends, I go for walks, maybe a date if someone's interested. Those dates just lead to sex, though and then I get ghosted usually.

I have tried to get to know people at work, but we're just very different. They are all either older than me or have families and children and our interests and worldviews don't really overlap much.

Since I basically have no "real" friends anymore, I don't feel comfortable going out to clubs or bars. I feel I'd just stick out like a loser. I would love to go and see some live music but I don't go because I have no one to go with.

It seems kind of impossible to start being more social at 33. Is it?
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William Brookwell - Thu, 13 Jan 2022 13:14:09 EST YrX3+HFr No.541796 Reply
the only appropriate qq replies are

  1. i've been there, this is what it was like for me )_______________, is it like that for you?
  2. that sounds really awful in the following ways _____________ and I'm so sorry you are going through all that
  3. can you access therapy? what about a crisis line? are there other forms of professional help you can access?


basically everything else is poison
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Ghengis Dong - Thu, 13 Jan 2022 18:53:08 EST 6BS3laZt No.541798 Reply
>>541695
Such a transparent and deliberate distortion of my post in >>541756 which was literally explaining why another person responded to xkqeRZhO telling them to fuck and stating that I disagreed.

You are almost certainly a troll or just completely lack any reading comprehension. Either way I'm done entertaining your nonsense.

im so sick of other humans

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- Sat, 08 Jan 2022 17:58:32 EST aK1HJukk No.541746
File: 1641682712897.jpg -(132502B / 129.40KB, 886x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. im so sick of other humans
People treat me like shit and it just gets worse the older I get. Not to mention the sitma that comes with being a drug user makes it hard to find not only a s/o but a good job as well due to having a criminal record. Fuck I hate the system, I hate cops for ruining my life. I hate other humans cause they're all judgemental garbage idiots who isnt even smart enough to know the chemicals in the food they eat. I can't relate to anyone and since I moved 5 hours away from my hometown with my parents to redneck hillbilly nowhere to be close to my grandma in her old age. All the people; in this town hate people like me and look at me like a liberal junkie. I couldn't even begin to relate to anyone here mostly because nobody here is even my age (26 next month). I stil live with my parents so I have to think about moving out soon and I've had a long history of jobs but am currently unemployed. I took this online cannabis college to hopefully get a job in the legal weed business since that would make me happy, too bad criminals cant get a job in the legal weed industry unless it's been 5 years since they last got convicted. Fuck my life is a mess and I don't know what to do. I cant hold down jobs for very long, or girlfriends, or even boyfriends (I'm BI, deal with it, i know tons of people judge me for it but fuck it) Honestly just hate waking up feeling lonely af full of hatred for the human race and like I'll never do anything with my life. I had all sorts of hobbies I barely do anymore and its not like theres anywhere in town that has groups that host stuff I like. I'm an outcast and this town is small and dead. I am without a future. I am stressed because what if my dad does decide to kick me out one day and I become homeless and have nowhere to go, no job, nothing. I'd be fucked. Why did my parents have to bring me into the world, I didn't want to grind til I die and watch everyone else dumb themselves to new lows. I'm surrounded by people who wouldn't care to hear an opposing opinion if a shoved a book about it in their face. I hate my species, everyone is a fucking asshole these days.
2 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Wesley Tillingbanks - Mon, 10 Jan 2022 05:41:32 EST DpxG98LT No.541764 Reply
>>541746
do they spy on your in your home and follow you around places and try to ruin your day on purpose?

that's what they do to me.
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Thomas Bimmerstatch - Tue, 11 Jan 2022 08:51:47 EST YrX3+HFr No.541780 Reply
shhhhhhhhhhhh no one is spying on you except the NSA and they are only interested in sexy stuff and terrorism

Second coming

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- Thu, 30 Dec 2021 18:41:16 EST 2Lhx8lW9 No.541673
File: 1640907676698.jpg -(15876B / 15.50KB, 300x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Second coming
Apply here to be second Mary
User is currently banned from all boards
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le Bananier - Fri, 07 Jan 2022 23:20:18 EST UH2AriB/ No.541731 Reply
Not like I'm fertile so let's go

Repeating the same fun mistakes

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- Fri, 07 Jan 2022 14:36:59 EST KjblaXmU No.541725
File: 1641584219707.jpg -(79986B / 78.11KB, 616x680) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Repeating the same fun mistakes
In November 2020 I was invited by a past and quick-lived old flame to an acid party. It may have been the worst and most uncomfortable party of my life, made tolerable pretty much only by the benefit of acid and molly flooding me with feel-good chemicals.

After the party I was so uncomfortable being at that house that I left two days earlier than planned, with a pretty bullshit excuse she clearly saw through. I was still pretty fucked up, I really -really- should not have been driving, but I absolutely could not stay. I had the same voice ringing in my head that I had when I flushed an 8th of coke after I realized I was starting to have a problem.

We had been daily talking for months before that, and after we spoke maybe twice in 2021.

Yet she hits me up recently, inviting me to stay at her place if her kink community has an event I'd like to go to. Likely enough to get another invitation to another one of those drug parties next time one happens. And as little chemistry as we have, as uncomfortable as I was at that party, I am still heavily considering it. I suppose part of that is that I no longer (intentionally) have contacts for hard drugs in my city, and I find a lot of romance in the idea of traveling to a far off land to do wild shit I cant or dont do at home.

Re: Kink events: Similar hat. There is a kink community in town and I am to some extent a part of it, but there is a generational gap that I very much feel. Though I have made good contacts and some friends from it, the generational gap has tended to make it hard to feel at home there. This girls kink community on the other hand from what Ive seen is mostly my generation, and much more prolific with the number and types of events going on.

So the rub is that I am heavily debating making the same mistake again and I know it will either be an awful -awful- time, or something Ill think fondly about for the rest of my life...Everytime I have hung out with her has been one of these options.

The first time I did molly was with her, which was indisputably one of the most magical experiences of my life. That same weekend she got me put in the middle of fights between her and her partner. They were very much in an open relationship, though things were not going so well between them and it pretty exploded that same weekend.

A few months later she visited me, which was the weekend I had been fired from my job. I def was not in a good place, but even still they extreme lack of sober minded chemistry between us was frankly shocking. We didn't talk a bunch after that for awhile. That was until her next relationship started crumbling and she began to reach out to me a bunch...I saw the pattern then, and I wasnt about to do that whole song and dance again. I decided to be a friend, and if after the dust settled she wanted to try something I was down to maybe give it a go.

Covid happens, she leaves that relationship, declares she loves me. I dont really buy it, but I do have some feelings for her so I didn't immediately shut it down but also kinda kept things at arms length. Figured it was something to explore, and long distance it was seeming like it was going better than it had before now that I wasn't just being treated like a backup partner. Then the acid party happened, and that ive already gotten into.

The one thing that has changed between the past and now is that she seems to actually be in a pretty good place right now; her reaching out to me like this doesn't feel like shes looking for the door in her current relationships like it had before. I very much do not want to actually be in a romantic relationship with her, but I do like the idea of having an active friendship with her again.

Though the hang up is that I have largely moved away from doing any drugs harder than weed and the occasional low dose psychedelic. One of the things that made me so uncomfortable at that party was seeing people do harder drugs like molly and coke like I had been. The uncomfortable, excessive, desperation of their drug use was something I knew I had also exhibited...but now was the first time I was seeing it in other people. I havent done molly since, and it furthered my resolve to stop doing this shit in my own life.

Yet though here I am, debating doing it all over again pretty much just for the experience and the hell of it knowing that it is likely going to turn out poorly again.
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Archie Napperlock - Fri, 07 Jan 2022 18:44:07 EST vJji9HNW No.541726 Reply
that sucks
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Betsy Firrytedge - Fri, 07 Jan 2022 20:27:24 EST BqDoMrQF No.541728 Reply
Hee I had a chaos friend like that growing up.

How do I have friends again

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- Sat, 01 Jan 2022 23:44:38 EST zNcFLqpn No.541694
File: 1641098678029.jpg -(40963B / 40.00KB, 720x460) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I have friends again
is there any way to go back to being happy and normal?

>used to be normal
>had friends all over around me and was going to school and hanging out with people every day
>i was active and outdoors a lot
>friends started moving/being ass holes/having kids/talking less/working a lot
>i eventually end up with no friends
>i used to constantly have conversations on social media and meet people on there
>i used to make friends on games online and play games with them and have people to talk to
>now i dont have a single person i hang out with
>i check all my old social media stuff and i dont have a single message after years and more and more time just keeps going by with nothing
>i try making friends online and most people just seem crazy or like ass holes
>whenever i play games online i just end up talking to basically no one and i just get bored playing alone
>i used to have girlfriends and meet girls on social media and stuff
>i havent had a girlfriend in years except for 1 or 2 short ones
>i was talking to girls online at least but it wasnt much and i dont even have that anymore
>i just get more and more depressed every day
>nothing makes me happy anymore like it used to and my life already sucks on top of this
>i was a drunk for awhile and i just made myself look like an idiot and piss everyone off around me so i dont talk to anyone i used to know at all
>i have one friend whos kind of an ass hole and we barely talk and he does nothing but get drunk all day and hes usually an ass hole
>i smoke and do pills all day now just so i can enjoy video games or some shit for a few hours otherwise i feel no joy

is there any way to go back to being normal? i always have dreams where i'm in my old life and then wake up miserable and realize where i am. i can sometimes make friends if i blackout on booze/xanax or something but then it never lasts when i'm sober.
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Henry Seddlenuck - Sun, 02 Jan 2022 07:13:27 EST oxPGP6gr No.541698 Reply
You need to go where people are and join the group.
>>541694
>>i smoke and do pills all day now just so i can enjoy video games or some shit for a few hours otherwise i feel no joy
That's not making you any friends at all. Do drugs to make your good life better, don't use drugs to make you okay with not changing parts of your life that need to be changed.
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Lillian Gupperwill - Sun, 02 Jan 2022 15:35:58 EST Z22aVCCw No.541707 Reply
>>541698
this is so fundamental, no one makes friends playing I-spy, you have to find people with shared interests and then share activities with them.

There's not as much as before right now, but there are plenty of outdoor hobbies, archery (if you are rich), hill walking, hiking, volunteering to walk dogs at a shelter.. I don't know, that's just off the top of my head

please remember most pills temporarily stop neuroplasticity, I don't know how you are going to fix anything if you don't fix that first, because no matter what we do it changes our brain, and pills stop those changes happening

10 years of dead family

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- Wed, 01 Dec 2021 20:32:22 EST dtrJlUCf No.541382
File: 1638408742888.jpg -(97505B / 95.22KB, 297x374) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 10 years of dead family
>severely neglected as child
>father was a hoarder, mother was an alcoholic
>mother, father, dogs, grandparents, all die
>end up homeless as teenager
>aunt tries to steal inheritance, then dies
>walk 8 or 10 miles every day
>get job as cashier
>get into college
>graduate
>get a job
>it's a dead end job
>basically all that's available to me
>rejected from good government job I was uniquely qualified for
>no explanation as to why

I'm so sick of fucking living. I've been asking for help for like 10 fucking years and I've gotten nowhere. What do I do?
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Molly Darringbanks - Wed, 29 Dec 2021 12:45:35 EST AMES3IQn No.541666 Reply
>want thing
>don't have thing
>suffer
this is life for all beings
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Wesley Fodgekog - Fri, 31 Dec 2021 20:11:19 EST 5V5rPYC3 No.541678 Reply
>>541666

The real trick is try to eliminate desire. Then, everything is just a bonus!
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Ernest Sengerpid - Sun, 02 Jan 2022 09:42:47 EST GO914S+2 No.541701 Reply
1641134567309.jpg -(70042B / 68.40KB, 640x643) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>aunt tries to steal inheritance, then dies
I have nothing to add OP, except this is worded funny and it sounds like your aunt failed in her heist and perished in the process. I hope the rest of your family is better a burglary
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Effectiveness and Focal Points

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- Fri, 17 Dec 2021 08:15:09 EST y9suyZAF No.541570
File: 1639746909915.jpg -(180911B / 176.67KB, 640x823) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Effectiveness and Focal Points
Need some help fellas,whats the most effective and soundproof way of stabing someone to death,quick and painful ,where to strike and how to minimize the screams.after all that is hypothethicaly done,how to get away with it?
Tips and tricks 101
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Jenny Goodstone - Tue, 28 Dec 2021 07:13:48 EST Kk09Ejab No.541660 Reply
>>541654
>>541655
no no no you stab them with what comes out of your anus
see infographic above for precise instructions

Socially awkward or just plain annoying

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- Sat, 25 Dec 2021 06:10:47 EST 5QcwY+ZS No.541649
File: 1640430647659.jpg -(70431B / 68.78KB, 625x796) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Socially awkward or just plain annoying
Hey QQ,

I've been feeling really down about my social life and my work life. I feel like I might be dumb or something. Maybe I have a brain problem, who knows? I do well academically and am finishing a doctorate degree this year, but socially I am just awful. People really do seem like the enemy a lot of times. I feel like I am sliding further and further into being a misanthrope. I have only a few friends, and heck, I don't even really like a lot of them all that much or feel comfortable with them. I think people dislike me because of how cynical I am or how boring I come across.

I not great with people people. Not terrible terrible, but kind of bad. When I feel uncomfortable around people (which I am thinking is most of the time) I am quiet and have nothing to say or add. When I am comfortable with people I feel like I am just loud and annoying and I try to be funny but am not. It all just points to a whole problem of poor social skills.

I have a bad memory too. Like, I will repeat stuff to people a lot. Maybe I just need new material or something. Maybe I'm just not emotionally invested with people (emotions strengthen memories).

To be honest, I feel like a lot of my problems are from not having much interest in people. Like, I don't really have any "stories" to tell people to entertain them because I've never really put in the effort to try to come up with interesting things to tell people. I think my memory is bad because I simply don't care all that much. Maybe I'm a psychopath or enthusiastic, or maybe just depressed or dumb, ADHD, borderline personality etc. I am not good with empathy, and often don't really know how I myself even feel.

I think if I want to actually be good with people I need to put in way more effort and have sufficient motivation to do so. My whole life, I don't feel like I've had the need to put in effort. Friends come so easily in grade school, and in high school/college I always had a SO and ignored pretty much everyone else. This is pretty unhealthy and it makes me feel really awkward around other people of my same gender (female) and I only pretty much feel comfortable in one-on-one situations with guys. It's awful and has lead to some pretty awful things I think.

I guess I'm pretty desperate, QQ. I feel like I need a road map or something. I need to learn some social skills or figure out why I feel so apathetic and unmotivated socially. I do get lonely. My parents are kind of loners too if that gives any information.
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Barnaby Billingfoot - Sat, 25 Dec 2021 06:34:26 EST 2VoCJNzS No.541650 Reply
>>541649
>When I am comfortable with people I feel like I am just loud and annoying and I try to be funny but am not.
You need practice being yourself because it sounds like when you're around other folks you're inside your own head and don't know what to do.
>I have a bad memory too. Like, I will repeat stuff to people a lot
Because you remember things to say instead of trusting yourself to participate in the conversation at hand, see above.
>I think if I want to actually be good with people I need to put in way more effort
Sure, but not with them, with you.
>I feel like I need a road map or something.
Mindful meditation and activity groups (literally anything not related to university or studying or your PhD topic - really like commit to a book group to read one book, you don't even have to interact. Join a running club for one season) until you get a handle on who you are as a person.

You went into a classroom when you were 4-5 years old and you never left. Now you can't relate to other adults your age outside of that context because they've all been practicing being adults while you were finishing graduate school. Now you're an adult but you're not.

I work in academics.
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Barnaby Billingfoot - Sat, 25 Dec 2021 06:35:22 EST 2VoCJNzS No.541651 Reply
>>541649
Also psy drugs are a shortcut and you shouldn't have to go far to find someone.

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