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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated March 22)
How do I stop being hateful, bitter and sad and start making it? by Spooky boi - Mon, 03 Dec 2018 20:49:45 EST ID:qxiIbX09 No.527988 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Always stuck in the past and angry and sad. Always think about what a loser I was when I was young and what could've been. Moved somewhere new trying to start over and live the life I always wanted but it hasn't really been happening so far. Went back for thanksgiving and saw old crush that strung me along as an orbiter and banged a bunch of my friends. I cut her out of my life and she looked sad to see me. All that motivates me is to have these people regret ever looking past me or looking down on me. How do I start over and build a social circle and get the life, friends and girls I want? How do I stop being so full of hate, sadness and negativity all the time? Any of you start life over and start making it? Should I cut friends that made me insecure or have hurt me in the past? Was I right in going no contact on crush?
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Jarvis Dabberdale - Tue, 04 Dec 2018 00:07:39 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527991 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Narrowing your context helps a lot with dealing with the past. Rather than trying to problem solve it, just reframe the timescale within which you contextualise your own existence. Who you were, the moves you made etc do not define you. Rather than holding yourself to that time you were bullied in 2006, realise that is not you anymore, but rather an older, outdated iteration that you have long since evolved out of.

Rebuilding your mind is a lot like demolishing an old building to put in foundations for a new one. These attitudes, perspectives and etc etc are all going to be bleeding through into the way you perceive the world, right down to things like time or sensory input. Try to come up with some sort of placebo effect style logics to help motivate and encourage you. “By doing these things I am free of my obligation to worry about the past, since I am now living right”

You are here, now, begin right action and you will receive peace of mind.

Remember, it doesn’t matter how far you run, where you hide or what you do. You can never put maneouvre your own truth.
Martin Droffingfin - Thu, 06 Dec 2018 12:33:54 EST ID:ogGEfQN1 No.528013 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Work on yourself. Get better at stuff. Exercise. Make yourself think "yeah, I'm the fucking man."

Your scorn will turn to pity, and strain through like a sieve.
You may never hear an apology but you'll choose to forgive.
Lydia Honeyfuck - Thu, 06 Dec 2018 13:30:53 EST ID:IhsaKBVd No.528014 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I don't know, I've been stuck in the same rut forever. Moved out when I was sixteen, never been able to stay at the same place for more than two-three years since then, and always end up back on the wagon or whatever, resenting people and myself, not being able to come to terms with my life.

I don't have any tips, but I have a good song, maybe you'll relate.

End of Semester Vent thread. by James Sunningbere - Mon, 03 Dec 2018 21:31:51 EST ID:Y9n2+yNL No.527989 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Taking 4 classes. I was on track to have a 3.5+ GPA this semester in collage but screwed around getting high this past month instead of studying and now I might fail one class. The positive is I still have a B+ average in the other classes but its painful knowing I might have to retake this class, wasted my time, and have only myself to blame.
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Albert Meshshaw - Tue, 04 Dec 2018 17:39:16 EST ID:+Tof+qQ/ No.527997 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don't worry about it m8. I failed like the maximum amount of classes I was allowed to fail and still graduated with a 2.9 GPA in CS. Fuck it. Nobody even checks my transcripts lol. I have an interview for a 60k/year engineering gig and I'm working at a web hosting company right now.

Don't get lazy / fucked like I did because it was a pretty close call that I even graduated but don't let one failed class get to you. I ended up having to get into the mindset of "If I can't graduate, it's all been for nothing, so I'm going to take as much adderall as I need to, I'm going to keep going until they kick me out, and I'm gonna fuckin graduate if at all possible". Worked out.
Betsy Beddledale - Tue, 04 Dec 2018 19:13:24 EST ID:UIEZ/mgw No.527998 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Ernest Focklewill - Thu, 06 Dec 2018 12:32:29 EST ID:huj7hNcx No.528012 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Fuck collage man they suck.

2018: Our year, Final Round edition by Walter Chullywell - Tue, 04 Dec 2018 04:13:11 EST ID:OCIgbUsn No.527993 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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State your age and personal first time experiences this year.
>be 21

January: Went on my first road-trip abroad with friends. Ended up on a casino and a strip club.

February:First contact with benzos(flunitrazepam), first time hooking up with a girl while high and first time hanging out with people I actually had things in common. First contact with opioids (subotex)

March: First major house party I've been in. Shit was rad, yo.

April: First time being with a girl I actually "loved". First contact(and near overdose alcohol combo) with xanax. First time having a major depersonalization episode from weed. First time I was a girl's first kiss.

May: First contact with deliriants(2400mg DMH). Naturally it ended up with me in the hospital tripping my brains out.

June: First psychotic episode. First contact with MDMA (underdose) and with LSA (normal dose). First time hooking up with an ex.
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Henry Bongerson - Wed, 05 Dec 2018 06:33:23 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528002 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've done basically nothing but work and drink this year. No first anythings but I've already done most of the things you guys are talking about a bunch of times.
Alice Brurryfene - Wed, 05 Dec 2018 14:25:48 EST ID:H3AJo+6a No.528005 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I've haven't been at an office job for more than a year, and I already feel like a husk of a man with no time or money for myself. It's hard to make friends, and it's not even my coworkers' fault because they're as nice as can be and have openly make conversation with me. They're all at least 15 years older than me, with kids and I'm just some awkward ass dummy with social issues. That, and I constantly feel like my head is on a chopping block even though I'd only get fired from a massive fuck up or being laid off, and I somehow kept my position after the company merger, but that doesn't stop my retarded brain.

I'm getting paid twice on Friday and I'm convinced that it's because I'm going to be laid off, even though that's not even how it fucking works. The gut punching anxiety just will not fucking go away even when I know that I'm being a big fucking baby.

And I keep on waking up at 4am this year, which has fucked up my sleeping patterns for months now. Fuck you, Sandman. Do your job!
Thomas Sottinghood - Thu, 06 Dec 2018 02:12:18 EST ID:XYWgvHmr No.528011 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Couldn't have said it better myself


There are a few drugs left on my bucket-tist. After that I am done(exceept for weed of course)

2400mg DMH is theoretically the same as 1200mg DPH. Activated charcoal saved my ass.

sad m8s by Betsy Dullertut - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 13:07:45 EST ID:02qByZOr No.527976 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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alot of peoplei know have mental health problems or are just sad
but i don't Really get it
my life have always been chill so i don't know how to talk to them about it
Jarvis Gombleman - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 13:45:07 EST ID:rG33jDId No.527977 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I guess there are two types of support.

Helping with the problems, relating to the experiences, being able to offer outside perspective that helps. This is real grunt work and not recommended if you don’t have any skin in the game yourself, I’ve found that a lot of this is done through reflecting on your own experiences and relating it back to theirs. Without that, it’s all just speculation/made up.

The other form of help is to just be there man. Get their asses outside, take them places, do things and help just provide a space for them to breathe a little easier and take things a little slower.

I suppose the third option is to really study these things and bring something palatable back to the table with you. Understand where these sort of problems come from, how they evolve and can leave people stuck in a loop that just gets worse.
Cornelius Duckshaw - Mon, 03 Dec 2018 00:54:31 EST ID:prE2PuUX No.527980 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What this nigga said. Sometimes having you be a constant source of normalcy and chillness is what probably let's them keep a level head. You can still talk to them though. You don't have to relate to somebody's personal experience to talk about it with them, right? All that this changes is that instead of being the kind of person who should offer them advice (unless they specifically ask you for it, because sometimes an outside perspective is useful anyway) or try and help them fix their problems (or at least their bigger problems), you should be the kind of person that simply listens to what they have to say about their situation and how they feel about it (without commenting about what they should do or how they should go about fixing it).

I mean, let's say someone needs to talk to you about being beaten as a kid or having to kill someone or something. You don't need to have experienced either to let them open up... which if nothing else, provides them with an opportunity to actually even respond to and provide solutions for their own problems in ways they never would have simply because they had never been able to talk about it out loud with anybody they trusted before. Literally all it could take is being present, and they could arrive at their own conclusions or come up with their own solutions. You see that kind of thing in movies and books and shit right? They wind up being written in because they're relatable experiences patterned after real ones.
Martin Goffingwater - Mon, 03 Dec 2018 20:03:31 EST ID:rGErzU24 No.527985 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've noticed lately that there are a lot of mental habbits that can contribute to mental health.. I found myself often times thinking negative things or having negative expectations but I've been correcting them lately, or at least trying to. I asked myself earlier, "Why can't I feel happy tonight and have a good time?" And I actually decided it was very possible and it totally changed my outlook.

Just wanted to point this stuff out.. beware of it - look out for it. We can control a lot more than we think. I was depressed for years and couldn't see being that way ever again. Looking back it was habits I built up to cope with circumstances. I didn't have to deal with things the way that I did but after a while I didn't really have a choice, partially because they were ingrained habits and the other part was just being young and stupid I guess; not able to realize that I could control it.

Good luck everyone.

Unacceptable things by Phoebe Pipperstock - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 14:18:32 EST ID:DGXx8e01 No.527886 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>Be Me
>Move to small town and search for a job, choosing dollar general as my first prospect
>Manager ends up denying me, someone was more qualified
>Hiring signs never go down
>Funnel more money into DG than any other store in town as it's where I buy my usually daily cigarettes
>Have yet to cause any trouble with any business or person in town whatsoever, and havent met many people yet, so I frequently wonder what people think of me
>Walk in for some and a gatorade and look over my flavor choices
>Overhear manager tell customer "I like to keep my eye on anon"...don't catch the last part
>Come to register and customer gives me a look that confirms I heard what I thought
>Manager briskly breaks ice, suggesting the customer should take me with her on her ongoing job
>"Actually, I finish the paperwork for my new job tomorrow"
>Leave, and never return to give her business another cent, all the while hopefully haunting her walking back from my comparable new place of employment while halting their business

Will gladly trade a 50-75 cent price increase for my dignity and repuation. I get it if you want to monitor me for whatever weird reason you have against me (I do think there's something off with her, if only for the fact this is one of the first non gender centric establishments I have ever seen to employ exclusively females)...but to inform the public you are doing so? To possibly pass on your baseless judgements and make people doubt my honor? Absolutely unacceptable. I mean the whole situation almost seems like something worth losing her job over when you really consider the implications here, does it not? No I won't seek any vengeance like that. But hopefully in time she will see the error of her ways and regret her character assessments.
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Eugene Bressleway - Thu, 29 Nov 2018 10:42:54 EST ID:/DCiE/A2 No.527940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
DG fag here: They always keep the Now Hiring! sign up. It's a corporate decision. I hate it too. And my life.
Frederick Worthingshit - Fri, 30 Nov 2018 10:36:32 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.527949 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So someone tried to offer you work and you got bootyblasted and huffed out of there lying about having a job when in fact you're unemployed? Holy shit dude, you think that is what makes people respect you? You think that gives you dignity? It makes you look like a fucking lazy ass jolly african-american who doesn't want to work and would rather be a bum but makes excuses to people. You don't even know what they said you're literally just flipping out because of your own insecurities and now you're plotting revenge. This is literally toddler shit. Like most people age out of this behavior after they're 3 years old and can interact with people respectfully.
Lydia Braggleford - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 12:03:50 EST ID:ux+4Rp+2 No.527975 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Not even. I was in a dollar general once and decided I might as well grab a bottle while I was there. Fucking no. They only had 2-3 kinds and each one was a guaifenesin-riddled nightmare with other added active ingredients on top of it.

random coincidences ? by Archie Blackdale - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 15:29:59 EST ID:8IeaXJRK No.527887 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Lately in life i have encountered alot of random coincidences.
Here are some examples.
A girl i know randomly came to her door when i had just entered the garden because she felt like i was about to be there (she had no idea when i would arrive)
Another girl a week later chated to facebook that why i dint invite her out for a smoke ? And i asked how she saw me near her house. And she was stunned because she didnt know i was there. Her curtains were in fackt rolled down so she couldnt see me.
I was sitting with my frend and out of nowhere started to talk about a snickers cake. Its an completely random topic. A moment later lisa in simpsons said snickers cake...
And these examples go on and on.
I know the sober mind explination is that is is purely random but what are the odds ? As a person who has tripped quite many times on LSD starts to think about these things. No point to go to deep tough. Might think yourself crazy hehe.
What are your toughs on ''random'' eventns ?
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Nell Grimridge - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 10:55:49 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527970 Ignore Report Quick Reply

It's paradoxical because I still believe a lot of this stuff. I guess I just to calm down the stories in my head, because they are not real. But life does have meaning and our actions/experiences aren't devoid of value and should be respected.
Lydia Braggleford - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 11:02:44 EST ID:ux+4Rp+2 No.527971 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I'm a non-spiritual person with a belief in empiricism, but I've had enough stramge coincidences occur to me that it almost feels like I'm being toyed with. I've gone deep, deep down the rabbit hole. I don't know what I believe.

Now the thing which ultimately kept me away from suicide was a realization that death would not be an escape from torment.

I don't know why I made this post, but I felt like contributing because you had some interesting things to say. I'm going to cut it short here because I don't want to ramble.
George Boshnatch - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 11:41:34 EST ID:Pwq0Fy/H No.527974 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Now the thing which ultimately kept me away from suicide was a realization that death would not be an escape from torment.

Real shit

Wtf right now by Ernest Finkinstone - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 12:59:53 EST ID:Lj9UWlSA No.527797 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hello it's me from the thread listed above. So. Yeah the Puerto Rican girl messages me and tells me she cant yall to me anymore despite her claiming shed be there for me with my Mom in the ICU and she's basically my only friend. I feel so lonely and heart broken. Yeah, I just moved back in w my Dad but I don't have any friends( I used to have tons). Should I throw my ex under the bus by telling her current bf that me and her have been fucking on the side. At the cost of never having sex with her again? I just want to eliminate all this hate and anger I have in my heart. I'm single now. What the fuck do I do now? I'm so sad, angry, I feel so abandoned.
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Beatrice Chackledale - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 18:37:18 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527920 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I've been on 420chan for around 8 years now. This is the first time I've seen an OP post the new guy and themselves.

Don't break the 4th wall mate. Don't cross this line. We are here as an anonymous messaging board and I feel like you have done something in incredibly poor taste.

Yes, the odds of this post ever coming back to the lives of anyone involved are like dice rolls on top of dice rolls whilst simultaneously accurately guessing playing cards.

But that does not undermine the principle.

Don't do this shit. Go spend some time offline, speak to a therapist or someone emotionally intelligent. Get some perspective, get a sense of timeframe, do anything that helps put distance between you and her, rather than neurotically/desperately (is there a difference?) typing away online in the hopes the advice of random people, who do not care, will heal you.

Maybe watch some jordan peterson, russell brand, tim robbins, what the fuck ever. Just do the things that help ignite that spark which lets you begin to undertake the healing process. Rather than smacking your head off concrete in the hopes it makes the pain go away.
David Blythefoot - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 20:44:02 EST ID:1BGp4HgQ No.527921 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Move on dude, let her be happy with her bald guy. And let yourself be happy. You are young, find one that matters and that will lookout for you as well.
I know is hard right now, because you are so caught up in it. I was there once, with this guy that made my life miserable. He left me in a horrible way, to later beg for me a year later, nah...
But seriously, these type of people are low lives with no morals. Do you want this for the rest of your life? Do you want to keep providing for this type of ppl? If she gets back with you, I GUARANTEE that bitch will fuck MILLIONS of guys behind your back.
THIS GIRL DID YOU A HUGEEEEEEEE FAVOR. I honestly feel bad for the bald guy. This girl left you, so easy, just like that, after 2 years. You can do the same buddy.
Move on and I TRULY suggest cutting her family from your life as well, if not she will always be lingering. You need to respectfully tell them that you are extremely hurt, and that you will move on, and that she is their problem now. Don't let yourself be persuaded into dealing with this psyco's issues, or the family trying to consult you or tell you, you are the only one that can get through to her (obviously NOT, since she left you)
Some ppl are assholes, some are just badshit insane, others just didn't have that chemistry....Either way, why does it matter, all that matters is that she left!
Good luck, I hope you do move on, she just gave you a taste of what being married to her will be like.
John Hisslebanks - Wed, 28 Nov 2018 10:05:58 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.527923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>What does he have that she fucking left me for?

Therapy an actual help? by Samuel Porryford - Thu, 22 Nov 2018 23:39:21 EST ID:sEGQGk0v No.527851 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm not suicidal, probably not depressed. Looking into therapy generally because of problems of life circumstances and poor ability to relate and engage with people. Any chances I'll go through the system without being put on awful psych medication? Am I making a mistake?
Hannah Snodstock - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 05:35:24 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.527854 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well if you engage the services of a psychologist and not a psychiatrist you won't be prescribed any medication.

Psychologists talk.
Psychiatrists prescribe.

Psychologists are good for issues and traumas. Everyday depression, anxiety and people who dont want to drug themselves with bandaids. That's only if you feel able to talk to them though. Personalities naturally clash so dont settle for a psychologist you cant trust and respect.

Psychiatrists are good for people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, super severe anxiety and depression etc.

I went to a psychiatrist for suicidal depression and social anxiety that became agoraphobia, and while it helped a bit to comes to terms with my mental illnesses and he did refer me to cognitive behavioral therapy, I spent years taking drugs that didn't help and he pretty much experimented with new drug classes when the old ones didn't work to the point that he was suggesting antipsychotics for depression. I noped the fuck out.

The first psychologist I saw was a dick and used old school techniques like rorschach tests and telling me I was lazy and faking. Maybe that works for some women or something. I really didn't see the appeal.

The second was a nice lady that listened and occasionally offered insight to my thought patterns, but yeah I was the one doing the talking and there were long periods of silence and stuff while I gathered the courage to talk about my problems. But yeah she really brought me out of it.

So yeah psychologist you like and then do the work in the space and confront your issues with a human mirror. Presto change o.
Henry Blythedock - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 20:10:04 EST ID:BE8R5FT7 No.527867 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is a thoughtful and thorough post. Thank you very much.
Jack Trotwill - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 17:38:08 EST ID:dJEw/uJZ No.527918 Ignore Report Quick Reply
start with a psychologist. Most psychiatrists are long past drinking all of the kool aid and they don't care at all, just prescribe meds and call the cops on you if you say you're suicidal. Psychologists are actually *usually* decent people who actually care and feel good to talk to. If they come off as controlling or machiney just get the fuck away and find a different one.

Psychologists = good

psychiatrists = bad (unless you want to trick them for benzos)

Depressed about uselessness by George Suvingkudging - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 21:47:55 EST ID:jD3D6TzE No.527894 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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It is not out of the realm of possibility that I will spend the rest of my life unable to work or do a consistent volunteer job (like to the level of a part-time job or on a regular schedule). I may also remain spaced out on meds or with health problems some of the time. It's not guaranteed that this will happen, and I'll keep trying, but it's definitely possible.

All in all, it makes me feel like I don't deserve to exist. How do I find meaning even if I'm not a contributing member of society?
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Priscilla Hoddlewill - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 09:44:21 EST ID:dlP99jBc No.527907 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you haven't even stated what you have...?
i got chronically sick with liver problems when I was 15, first few years were a bitch and i got tired just walking a block, slowly bounced back though and i'm mostly functional by now (even if i get hospitalized now and then)
shit, i didn't even think about being a functional member of society, i just wanted the pain to stop
Beatrice Chackledale - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 11:24:48 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527910 Ignore Report Quick Reply

The more I think on this, the more I think that computer based stuff might help you a lot. There are tons of resources out there for self teaching / online tutoring and they cover a range of subjects. Graphic design, motion graphics, illustration, 3d modelling, 3d animation, music production, website building, programming for software, apps... it’s kind of an ever expanding list.

Surely one of those must elicit a mildly cool feel in you? It’s the kind of ideal set up for a bed bound guy. Set up a tv at the end of your feet, a wireless keyboard and mouse, spend the day from there. Start out by teaching yourself and from there begin producing work and building a folio. Then start finding commissions/clients whatever and maybe even build a freelance career.

Becoming adept at the Adobe suite would be particularly useful, since it doesn’t require much to get to a passable standard for doing random work. It’s not like your local store is gonna know the difference between properly kerned graphic design and amateur hour eyeball work. Maybe earning that sort of income might help you a lot?
Jack Trotwill - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 17:33:50 EST ID:dJEw/uJZ No.527917 Ignore Report Quick Reply
learn how you can be useful to yourself

MOVING DAY by Henry Blythedock - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 21:00:25 EST ID:BE8R5FT7 No.527868 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Looking to move out but can't find an apartment I like that's close enough to where I'm living right now.

Should I move, deal with the new commute of +20 mins minimum, and not have to bother with a shitty roommate/house or should I tough it out and buy a small starter home in a year or two? The monthly cost with property taxes and utilities would be about 50% rent and utilities.
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Graham Bundlelock - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 17:56:10 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.527892 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Long term decisions also lead to long term problems.
Walter Sazzleham - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 22:29:05 EST ID:6a4PN1hC No.527896 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Kinda too high being 50% goes into housing. Ideally under 40% and a good target is 1/3. Also, a starter home is hard to swing in every part of the country if you're alone. I know even in a depressed area, you aren't getting a "home" for less than 200,000 even. And that is surrounded by white trash or in my case, hood rats.

Renting a house or mortgaging a house will be able the same. 200,000 mortgage will run you 1k a month. A 200k house rented will cost you about 1100 or 1200. And you'll get more for your money renting. The real kicker with owning is that you pay for EVERYTHING. You don't have a landlord to pester or threaten to sue or to actually sue. It is all you. And most subdivisions where you can get a cheaper starter home will have HOA which will run your ass out or fine the life out of you until you leave. Avoid HOA at all costs when owning. They all fucking suck. A good neighborhood doesn't need an HOA. A shitty neighborhood filled with low class skumfuks needs an HOA.

But back to my point, while you may "appreciate" your land and house 50-100k if you're lucky, you'll spend that in property taxes, maintenance, insurance, selling negotiations, etc. You also won't ever pay the principle until maybe 5-7 years down the road at least. You'll be paying nothing but bank interest and won't have any equity in your house. So if you sell before at least 10 years in and realistically actually like 20 years or full term, you'll just be throwing away more money and having all the responsibility on yourself.

See if you mortgage 200k at 4% over 30 years you'll pay nearly 350k to the bank before you're off the hook. But the bank makes you pay interest first in pretty much every case I've seen. You'll spend 1k a month for just housing. And at that rate you'll pay back the interest first on the principle and then you'll pay the principle. Well, there is a certain amount of interest that must be paid each year. Say 4% like our example. So 4% of 200k in the first year would cost you 8k. But you're paying 12k a year roughly. So 4k comes off the principle and the rest is just bank interest in the loan for the year. So in year two, you pay 4% on 196k. So you'll pay 7840 in interest first and then 4160 towards the principle. So now you're down to ~192k which in year 3 you pay 4% on and then the rest is taken off. So let's say we just keep it simple still and take off 5 years from the loan, you want to move and you've paid 60k over that time. Well, you're paying roughly 8k a year in interest. So 8k x 5yr is about 40k. Maybe a little less but we're using simple math. So we'll just meet in the middle somewhere and say you pay about 38k in interest alone and 12k to the principle. Now you've taken the bank loan and own them 188k. Now ___ASSUMING YOUR HOUSE HAS APPRECIATED!___ you can possible make some money. Here we are 5 years down the road and you're wanting to move for whatever reason and you list for ~250k. A pretty damn generous 5% yearly appreciation I'll argue; it is actually about 3% but whatever, we're being nice here. The buyer takes you on a merry go round and you get haggled down to maybe 225k. So you've got "equity" and have "made out" good. Oh boy here we go! Nope.

>This is where the real numbers fuck you on a mortgage.
So right now, you're selling. You got to pay at least 3-5% commission on the sale to realtors. At 4% that is 9k. So suddenly you just sold for 216k. Listed at the "market value" for 250k remember? Suddenly, 34k is just gone like that. A new car is what you "lost." Remember back when we were at 188k on the mortgage. The equity you have is about 28k. But that is forward looking not real time. You'll "get that" but your net worth over time has suffered. Dramatically, stay tuned to find out why. Now I'm going to divvy up the loot.
>~1% property taxes. So for this is 2k year 1, 2.1k year 2, 2.2k year 3, 2.3k year 4, and 2.4k year 5. So about 11k went to property taxes. Now that 28k equity shrunk to 17k.
>Home owners insurance. You may or may not have renters insurance but you'll have to have home owners if you're using a bank or a mortgage loan. Average maybe 500-1k a year. There is another 4k off your equity. Now you're at 13k.
>Yard/Home maint. Something is going to break and the grass will always need to be cut. Tending to the yard and minor repairs to keep your shit actually worth something will run you probably around 1k a year at least. Sometimes an AC unit can die and a fridge and in 1 year you've spent 7k dollars easy. But we're being very very nice here and saying 1k a year keeping the hedges trimmed and the toilet flushing. So another 5k off you're now measly 17k which doles out 12k in equity.
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Thomas Carringdock - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 10:57:04 EST ID:V9zpBVli No.527909 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This op.
>buy my first house
>2 weeks in gf is preg and keeping it
>quit one of my 2 jobs because I'm making rental income from the detached mother in law suite I have and a roommate in the main house
>mortgage covered by rental income
>lose only job
>tenants move out
It gets better from there and everything is okay now but life will happen. Now I'm regretting my house because I bought a fucking lemon. My only advice is not to buy a flip ever pay top dollar for ALL inspections. Electrical,pest,plumbing shouldn't be overlooked

How to get better at dealing with confrontation and conflict resolution by Ernest Socklekick - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 21:54:35 EST ID:rfh6xrBW No.527870 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I get better at confrontation? I avoid it like the plague, and I tend to get ultra defensive when it happens because my feelings get hurt easily. I've been working on it for three years now, and I still suck at it most of the time. I know that it stems from shitty parenting, and that my step father would scream and scream at me for the tiniest of things. I get awful anxiety about potential confrontation, which used to make me more aggressive and ready to argue. I've really improved on this part, and have gotten better at just "putting it out there," so my feelings don't just fester. But still, many times in arguments, I find myself acting like a total child. I usually don't become "blind with rage" but sadness and hopelessness. Feelings that I'll never be good enough and it makes me want to just pretend it all never exists. Help. Also, I am currently in therapy but it seems to be moving pretty slowly, and I want to switch therapists.
Eugene Blebberdit - Sat, 24 Nov 2018 17:51:37 EST ID:oYFVwhjk No.527879 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP same and im wondering the same questions you are
Jack Findershaw - Sun, 25 Nov 2018 06:03:43 EST ID:oGhTgflo No.527881 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Some of it is practice. Talk to your therapist rather than just silently dumping them in true avoidant fashion.

As far as conflict resolution goes in general it's good to find a balance between calming down and festering. If you raise an issue at the heat of your emotional response it will be overblown and melodramatic. But you can't sit on it. When a problem emerges I tend to spiral a bit before I pull myself together and look at it more rationally. Focus on what I can actually do, what I'm actually able to do and do it. I feel better that way.

When raising grievances in general you need to remember that while you feel what you feel, what it seems to indicate may not be true. Being angry doesn't mean anyone is trying to upset you, you're definitely angry and something is causing that. Look at solutions and facts and assume the other person is another flawed limited person but they're trying. If it's a friend or someone who there should be goodwill with this is usually true. Other people have their problems too so don't forget that they may be going through what you are.

These are things you should be asking your therapist. If they're working towards the solution and it's slow discuss it with them. It may be that you have shitloads of baggage to unpick or it may be they're trying to solve the wrong problems. I don't know. You're not going to magically be made better. Therapy doesn't "cure" problems, it lessens them, helps you reorganise them to make them less problematic and strengthens you and helps you cope. Sometimes you can mostly fix the damage done by trauma by understanding it in a new light but sometimes you've just got to work at hard changing the way you react to things and that's a long bit of work.

im a loser by William Dartspear - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 09:34:29 EST ID:oYFVwhjk No.527856 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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all i do everyday is smoke weed and play video games... there's nothing else to do in this small ass town im from. my friends are losers too and hanging out with them is boring as fuck because none of us have anything to talk about.

i don't know how to stop this cycle, there's nothing for me going on in this town of 2000 people, and im starting to get scared when i meet new people at school that they'll realize how boring i am after talking to me for more than 3 minutes
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Frederick Nuttingstone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:07:12 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.527858 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I mean there's stuff to do here, restaurants, bars, movies, whatever you can do anywhere else. But it's not like you're gonna hang out at the bar all day in your own city or something. I mean it gets just as boring as smoking weed at home.
Beatrice Fanstone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:36:45 EST ID:SLMs5lgl No.527861 Ignore Report Quick Reply
protip: everybody is boring. everybody is a loser. you aren't special, and neither is anybody else. everybody is mediocre. this is reality. if people stop talking to you or look down on you for being boring, then they're probably arrogant, pompous pricks. but honestly, this is probably just your own anxiety and insecurity talking man, don't get yourself down.

wanna get slightly more interesting? develop some skills and get new hobbies. educate yourself on shit, learn more. all it takes is improving yourself.
Simon Pockridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:47:45 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527862 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don’t spend your time doing pointless shit. Don’t affiliate too much with people who aren’t doing much with their life. They can be cool and interesting to drop in on once every few months or to do targeted activities with, but truthfully familiarity breeds contempt and monotony.

OP you’ve got an opportunity to do something about this, take it and thank yourself 5 years from now. The amount of potential trajectory change you can accomplish with some fairly basic adjustments is crazy.

You need to move away from doing dumb shit with your time. The internet is an essentially limitless resource for knowledge, teach yourself some new shit. Maybe get practical and build shit out of wood. Or go all art n expression, learn to draw, customise clothing, do graffiti, produce beats, make techno or indie rock, write books, screenplays.

Maybe even begin working towards an industry skill such as graphic design, 3d modelling, illustration, film, photo - all perfectly acceptable to self teach, can lead to freelance or full time employment and its also the ultimate stoner work since you spend most of your time at a computer.

Find some cooler shit to do in your spare time/ downtime. Sketch stupid bullshit, read books, watch lectures on stuff you like, learn how to cook properly. Fuck women, go cycling, go hiking, lift weights, do a martial art, visit galleries, see live music, invite friends round to do specific shit like play board games or jerk off to pictures of old classmates. Get a fucking routine, try stick to it.

Honestly man, buy a Jordan Peterson book or watch a Tim robbins seminar or something. Just do something to spark that hunger for life again and begin setting goals, moving towards them and within a year your life will be in a totally different place. Everything I’ve mentioned in this post I’ve done this year (with the exception of a few things I added in for broader appeal).

This time last year I was depressed, smoking weed and playing video games, having retired from my life completely after a psychotic episode. Life does improve but it takes work and discomfort and nobody will do it for you. Become an interesting character, you owe it to yourself.

Next step? by Priscilla Warringsad - Sat, 14 Jul 2018 14:28:58 EST ID:sOYffUbq No.525505 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>start talking to a girl
>really hitting it off
>speak for a week, have so many interests in common, lots to say
>go to the pub for drinks, speak for a couple hours, we have so much to say to each other and making each other laugh, then go to a local park and talk for ages
>she asks for a kiss, and we basically snog for a solid minute
>I end the date by asking for another kiss, she's all over me at this point
>speak for another week, plan to set up dinner 2 weeks from the drinks
>been showering my with compliments, telling me how she enjoys talking to me and being around me and how much she wants a 2nd date
>she's the one that says she absoloutely wants to see me again
>she's the one that says she absoloutely wants dinner
>she even recommends the place
>suddenly from Wednesday, she ghosts me and doesn't reply to anything
>we were originally supposed to be going out tonight
>I messaged her again today asking what's up
>pic related
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Hannah Chablingridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:27:19 EST ID:lTNkuiuO No.527859 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Hannah Chablingridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:28:09 EST ID:lTNkuiuO No.527860 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Phineas Cunderhotch - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 11:57:59 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.527863 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Can you leave that shit in the manosphere where it belongs thanks.

Fucking help me by Phineas Gattingstone - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:01:16 EST ID:YRdv82+4 No.527831 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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For the love of god please just help me. I just need to vent everything is screaming worry pain agony how does my mind create this hell. Everything absolutely everything is horrifying pain and torture and self loathing slashing cutting mental psychotic breakdown. It's got to stop it has to end it's so fucking fucked ive made such horrible mistakes and absolutely no one can console me, i cant hear them u dont believe them yet i know it's wrong. Something is going wrong it's so fucking bad why can't i forgive myself this is so fucking painful for my family and my girlfriend to watch. I wish I could stop this i wish it would never have to get this bad before I can recognize that something is going wrong and that i need help. It's not fair for them it's not fucking fair i just wanted happiness i wanted to give happiness. IM FUCKING WRONG IM WRONG ITS ALL FUCKING WRONG FUCKING STOP JUST GIVE ME MERCY PLEASE GOD IM SORRY
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Phineas Gattingstone - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:15:43 EST ID:YRdv82+4 No.527835 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks man
Matilda Wengerfadge - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:32:29 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.527836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Now don't mention it partner, you just focus on gettin' better.
Isabella Feckleforth - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:41:29 EST ID:rM7aRWiF No.527837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm only 25 and I've seen so many people break down publicly on Facebook, and no one cares. I don't care... You're freeer than you think mang. I know a guy who raped a girl when he was 17 and now he's getting married. The girl he raped is in a serious relationship. It's been 18 years and no one cares. Just fuckin live you're not a fucking rapist it doesn't matter. Not saying that guy shouldn't be in prison, but like... It's just an example. You're good bro.

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