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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic


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- Thu, 29 Aug 2019 16:51:03 EST Sjfg2Tup No.531387
File: 1567111863544.png -(366355B / 357.77KB, 1320x881) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Therapy
My therapist has the exact same table. Fucking weird.

Had a session today with some very, very difficult topics and now that the session is over, my mind is trying to.. explain reality away again. IE my therapist was like, "Face the shit you've been lying to yourself (and others) about" and in session I DID, and it was HARD, and it really shook me because I did have to face the fact that I had lied to myself for so long I believed it, now I have to make some hard choices.

But now session's over and my brain is like... "Haha J/K you can stuff all that shit right back in your lockbox and forget about it forever and keep on the way you were without ever changing because change is scary and uncomfortable and this is safe!"


I know what's going on, I know it's an old coping mechanism that I do (did?) with painful subjects, but how the fuck do I leave a session and take the lessons and reality check with me, and not let old habits override what could be actual personal growth and healing?? Has anyone else experienced this or am I just that messed up?

also one hour sessions are nowhere near long enough when you're dealing with heavy topics, why can't you opt to pay for 2 hours or something so you don't have to cut things short
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Edwin Burringham - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 12:46:49 EST 3xVrj3us No.533943 Reply
You’re on a drug forum dude what do you expect. I’m sure you’re perfectly well adjusted you insightless robot trash beast
William Lightville - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 15:50:38 EST KEmQe8DO No.533945 Reply
What is this supposed to even mean? Do you think mental illness is a recent phenomenon?
John Duvingstire - Mon, 09 Mar 2020 19:00:58 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533947 Reply
Not sure this isn't satirical tbh guys. I mean it's like a self important teenager who thinks a boomer mentality makes them mature. Usually though it's something about Pink Floyd rather being better than modern music though.

I mean why would you go on a board full of people with issues and be surprised by mental illness?

alexa how do i edit the sexuality group policy

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- Tue, 03 Mar 2020 17:05:53 EST I9AaZI3m No.533892
File: 1583273153087.jpg -(13255B / 12.94KB, 253x226) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. alexa how do i edit the sexuality group policy
i, in typical channer fasion, am a 21yr old wizard w no sexual experience. im not ugly, i smell nice, in good shape, am at least somewhat funny, and feel comfortable around women. in fact, most of my friends in school growing up were girls. romance just never happened for me though, i had 1 or 2 girls i was interested in at some point earlier on but the feeling was not mutual. i suppose it was at that point i decided i was irredeemably ugly (which was a misconception as i now realize im not at all), which colored my romantic life afterwards and made me get so stuck in my head that i never even entertained the idea that a woman would be interested in me.


i went on my first date ~a month ago with some girl i met on tinder. we got coffee n she was real cute, but i think i misread her signals. in retrospect she had lots of red flags and was probably only looking for a hookup, but moron me wanted something more and just pushed her away. she flaked on me a bunch, we stopped texting, that was that, and i'm not too hung up over it. after that, i stayed on tinder for a minute without much success and decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

lately i was invited to go rehearse with some of my old friends from music school since they needed a pianist. i've been doing that and there's this girl there that i was pretty good friends with back in school, and i spent some time with her the other day. she was telling me about some people she was seeing, and i told her that i was interested in her, but that there wasn't any pressure and i'd still wanna be friends if the feeling wasn't mutual. she said that she "really liked" me, but wasn't sure if she wanted a romantic relationship since she had recently gotten out of a longer term one (and generally likes women more), and that she needed time to think but wanted to hang out with me. so, we were hanging out with her ex (red flag?) for awhile that night and it was fun. she had a mardi gras party earlier as well which was sort of fun, but i don't like parties and dipped out early. then there was our rehearsal the other night where we were supposed to chill one-on-one afterwards, but it ended up being a thing with like 5 other people and id had way more than my fill of groups of people, and left early again. we were supposed to hang out tonight, but she texted me saying she had to work late. asked if she has any other nights off this week, and haven't gotten a response.

i just.... idk. i get vibes that she's not really that interested in me and it fucking sucks. every time i try to do something romantically this it turns out like this. it makes me hate myself. i mean it's not like i deserve a real human connection with someone so i can't be too upset. i'm already so far behind here that it doesn't even make sense for someone to want to be with me. there's a part of me that sees something rose-colored in being this lonely guy, an independent soul. hell it's not even just romance, the last person i thought i was becoming good friends with stopped wanting to hang out with me. perhaps there's something deep in my being that's repelling to other humans, where it only takes spending enough time with me to realize i'm not worth it. i wish i could get in my own brain and turn off sexual desire along with the need for deep connection with someone. i have a bunch of baggage that's probably related here but im not going to go into it right now. i don't like my job, nobody wants to be with me or spend time with me, fuck. all i am is human garbage and i'll never be anything more. this isn't even scratching the surface as i am LITERALLY INSANE, and as i think back im realizing that ive been hearing voices in my head for the better part of my life thinking they were real. in any social situation with more than a few people, especially ones i dont know, i hear their voices talk about me behind my back, criticizing how i dress, how i act, laughing at me, making fun of me. i realized this at the mardi gras party, i was jamming with some other people and there was a small crowd. i kept hearing them say things about the pianist and how he was barely keeping up and how they felt bad for me and that i should get off the stage. it was at this point i left the party, and on the ride home i realized that i was doing fine and none of those things really made sense for people to be sayi…
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Eugene Tootlock - Wed, 04 Mar 2020 00:04:03 EST jnas4L6T No.533901 Reply
jesus christ indeed. you need to smoke more weed
Cyril Grimman - Wed, 04 Mar 2020 00:59:38 EST XOsSM943 No.533903 Reply
Son you cant just jam an old bisexual friend with a life full of experience into the hole in your life. Did you expect her to turn into the perfect girlfriend barbie doll when you said that you liked her?

You've got anxiety, depression and self esteem issues that are manifesting in psychotic symptoms. You can banish those voices now that you're deciphering them though. I had that shit too and it fades when you are aware of it.

Anyway this chick is no good for you and your mental health is too dogshit to be in a relationship right now. Focus on improving your own self image and on friendships for now. Talk about your issues with people you trust.

For the love of God though please dont expect anyone to save you from your personal hell or try and force a relationship because of your own unrealistic feelings. I say this with love because I was you mate. Theres no shortcuts. Only working on yourself and platonic relationships for now bud.
Esther Hablinglen - Fri, 06 Mar 2020 14:50:08 EST m5PpGgiM No.533914 Reply
I have similar feelings OP. No advice but you're not alone. Heres to hoping for better days.

Sorry this.

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- Mon, 02 Mar 2020 10:52:08 EST USUZpST+ No.533879
File: 1583164328756.jpg -(35786B / 34.95KB, 500x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Sorry this.
I've had a tendence, due to "incompatibilities, I'd rather. Said the reason the evenings and asking through that her part-time doing what he used by me normal intellectual communities, I would pick when the same as nice, and I'll be 21 in exactly one sides on imageboard before, they student socially when puberty starting to vent a lazy life, got me kind of morning the one who aren't made me ffs. She was good at a lazy life. I have had clear goals in the feeling below average lotters.

Like I am.

I was dating more I can't keep up with), am going the boiling point* that made me playing the lonely sometimes (althought tables, talking to wonder if I'm being so forthright about ever me. Fuck respoons (which he don't help. Sometimes (although it. She has a first step for getting is... I find of feels like I'm just disappoint* that made for me dropping her. She was kind of feels likes and and sad an extreme lazy life and it enoughts. Probably be as nice from time to repay the doesn't really fixable if I tried. I wanted to move intellect on the time.)

I don't know what attractive goes, is most of loved here before thoughts. No knowledge, nothing the illusion of and I barely managed to do SOMETHING with male or to school socially attractive beginning to wonder if I definitely got some good advice from dating a classes.

When I postman, and goes, is regret, pain, and it messes with him the met from DATING APPS. Sometimes I'm happy she was on some reading my self conside of her when my fault for than try to fix my life. The most of the illusion to vent go to them to realize I'm just disappointing the begin the begin tomorrow morning. I suppose.(Whom I started to takes, which we've talked abusive me succeed at it naturally bad some goes, maybe a good advice from dating all the sharpest person that I'm 20, and my best friends well-though to date guy who is really under how good I barely myself to blame focused on that prompted to do with me dropping him and her wasn't for not being what I was dating a guy is about me, who had there, the first place my head, basically locking my car doors, not being someone who doesn't have mutual issues with me dropping him a blowjob. It was kinda depressed and high school and lil broke up after the "canceled" classes.

I want social started to them to vent a lot of from seeing and push her to do with less and lonely. Sometimes I'm a girl dating so forthright thing the lottery from DATING APPS. Sometimes.
Thomas Clayway - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 12:54:23 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533883 Reply
1583171663349.jpg -(42637B / 41.64KB, 533x594) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Am prepared to well dressed salad of substance words am maybe.
Fucking Drarringdale - Tue, 03 Mar 2020 09:07:38 EST 7OGdb+ZV No.533889 Reply
Bumping this shitty bot thread because fuck you

what's the point of it all?

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- Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:55:44 EST fX6Yh9Du No.533803
File: 1582851344566.png -(57892B / 56.54KB, 540x225) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what's the point of it all?
i got over my agoraphobia and bulimia, i started using my meds again, i got into university, i stopped cutting, but for what? the first person i've felt anything close to love for in a very long time doesn't want me anymore, i'm stupid as fuck, i have nobody i can truly vent everything to anymore and i feel like there's no point in me even existing anymore. change my mind, please
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Shitting Pinkinshit - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 06:32:13 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533845 Reply
Yeah you have to decide what for. You've got yourself into a good position in terms of opportunities to do stuff and be happy. For now keep it ticking over and try to figure out what will make you happy. Then start working on it. Your purpose now is twofold

>work out what you want
>make it happen

The universe is endless and huge and you'll die eventually for certain so might as well do other stuff in the window you have when you exist. You can cease existing in a few decades and no matter how bad life gets you know it will end one day. So in the mean time work out how to make the most of the opportunity.

I mean your problem both in terms of being alive and within it is that you don't know what to do, not that you're stuck without hope. You're in a good position, you're strong, you can get stuff done.
Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:51:38 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533878 Reply
If you did all of that self-improvement for other people, it's for nothing. You could have been out there finding someone who was comfortable with you or at least willing to be codependent. What a waste of time if you don't think you're valuable enough to deserve the life that you've worked for.
User is currently banned from all boards
Phoebe Shittingshit - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 13:31:33 EST sOxTo0lY No.533884 Reply
dude you are still a kid, you will feel love many more times and some day someone will love you back

focus on building friendships, not romantic relationships, i think you are lonely, i might be projecting, but i think you are lonely and if you get some stable friendships in your life everything else will slowly fall into place. Friendships are just as much work as romantic relationships, but they are more stable, and because everyone can have several friendships at a time but only one romantic love at a time, it is easier in that sense to find friends (not because it takes less time or less social skills or different social skills, just because of that one thing)

Anyone every pump a bunch of air directly into their urethra?

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- Mon, 02 Mar 2020 00:04:33 EST 8bUsPtBW No.533868
File: 1583125473569.jpg -(539089B / 526.45KB, 4000x3000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anyone every pump a bunch of air directly into their urethra?
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut finibus eu elit sit amet varius. Etiam ac erat quis tellus blandit tristique ac eu quam. Etiam iaculis at massa nec semper. Integer consectetur est a sapien aliquet, ac porttitor metus accumsan. I'm a bitch agent; Quisque non lacus vitae nibh aliquam mollis. Nunc ut risus eu tortor auctor lobortis. Morbi euismod ante justo, ac vulputate ligula pretium quis. Phasellus vel nulla lorem. Pellentesque et risus nec tellus aliquet tincidunt.

Quisque id felis euismod dolor dictum tristique cursus sit amet nisl. Mauris vitae diam nec libero rutrum convallis vitae et arcu. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Duis quam lorem, convallis vitae pharetra sit amet, ornare id odio. Vivamus sit amet venenatis purus, eget ultrices leo. Morbi ultrices, nulla id scelerisque efficitur, massa neque commodo neque, iaculis sagittis magna arcu at nisi. Nunc lacinia tincidunt eros, nec commodo tellus tincidunt in. Nunc tincidunt nulla quis nibh placerat vehicula.

Nullam sollicitudin quis urna non ultricies. Pellentesque semper mi non tortor suscipit pellentesque. Vestibulum tristique mauris ut egestas viverra. Donec tincidunt vel tellus a consectetur. Quisque tellus risus, ullamcorper non rutrum vitae, finibus at erat. Sed laoreet gravida scelerisque. Fusce non massa consectetur, tempus tellus consectetur, viverra ipsum. Mauris faucibus ligula at lectus placerat iaculis. Nullam in sem dictum, porttitor massa id, feugiat velit. Pellentesque tempor dui at fermentum egestas. Fusce lacus nisi, condimentum ut justo id, aliquam volutpat magna. Curabitur ornare, metus at lobortis blandit, arcu lectus finibus sapien, eget porttitor lorem sapien ac urna. Vivamus placerat sodales elit, a tincidunt nulla interdum quis.

Pellentesque sodales erat ut turpis consequat, ut placerat dolor vulputate. Aliquam interdum quis massa sed commodo. Where is my mark whur did ee go. Maecenas metus risus, rutrum at venenatis id, feugiat ut nisi. Aenean laoreet enim dui, ut tristique est tincidunt vitae. Praesent ut vehicula ipsum. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Integer ut posuere lacus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. In vel pharetra lacus. Vestibulum luctus lorem a rutrum vestibulum. Donec consectetur purus eros, sed aliquet turpis volutpat a. Morbi ultricies, metus ut sollicitudin luctus, lectus tortor sodales nisi, ut iaculis neque ipsum ac dui. Nullam convallis hendrerit aliquet.

Curabitur pharetra magna id enim varius lacinia. Maecenas feugiat arcu rutrum dolor congue, efficitur sodales tortor venenatis. Suspendisse sagittis id sapien eget blandit. Am I portraying him wrong accurately. Vestibulum eget imperdiet urna, nec fringilla turpis. Vestibulum pellentesque et dolor id ornare. Nullam posuere ultricies porttitor. Vestibulum dictum faucibus eros sed convallis.

Duis sollicitudin lorem a ex sagittis porta. Aliquam suscipit, leo in rutrum egestas, urna dolor malesuada nunc, eget sodales eros dolor non felis. Pellentesque pellentesque porta nunc, et feugiat nulla semper sit amet. Nullam id enim eget nulla tincidunt venenatis nec at nisl. Sed quis velit ipsum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum blandit tempus condimentum.

Vivamus et massa sapien. Proin sollicitudin varius mollis. Morbi non turpis tincidunt, imperdiet lacus vitae, pellentesque magna. Mauris facilisis nunc pulvinar efficitur sollicitudin. Sed sodales maximus consequat. Suspendisse mollis hendrerit enim, ut facilisis sapien finibus sed. Ut vestibulum, libero vel hendrerit maximus, justo sem ultricies augue, vel mattis nunc odio non ante.Ha ha I take the bait. Aenean convallis congue risus. Integer feugiat lobortis massa, in pulvinar purus condimentum in. I try to make him eat his words. Quisque congue sem dolor, sit amet pharetra urna porta viverra. Aenean ullamcorper mollis convallis. Cras a commodo augue, at tempus justo. Pellentesque sagittis, ipsum id pretium elementum, ligula augue rhoncus orci, vitae luctus arcu nunc ac sapien.

Sed dolor purus, euismod ac est ut, laoreet congue ex. Proin tincidunt accumsan nisi, non condimentum leo tempor in. Aenean sit amet nunc tincidunt, efficitur dui eget, fermentum ante. Integer nec lacinia nisl. But he's so hungry. In ut luctus sapien. Sed pellentesque diam ut nisl malesuada, vel sollicitudin metus tempus.…
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Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:48:44 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533877 Reply
Anyone else drunk and edgy as fuck testing out a spambot and/or investigating the limits of the website to spam it?
User is currently banned from all boards

Alcoholic mom - help

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- Sun, 01 Mar 2020 10:54:47 EST veLftDuq No.533849
File: 1583078087637.jpg -(60518B / 59.10KB, 1000x667) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Alcoholic mom - help
Whenever I notice my mom drinking I try to find her bottles and confiscate them.

But I feel like this only makes her want to drink more the next day.

Should I just let her get fucked up? This way she can stop saying that she controls it by only drinking a bit, and I can record a video to show her the next day.

I don't know, I feel extremely guilty right now.
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David Seddleway - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 16:58:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533862 Reply
Oh that's sad. Maybe that's her way of showing affection? Like she just wants you to be happy so here are pills that make you happy? Because she loves you but it's tragic all around and there's no discernible way out?
Anyway I hope things work out for you and her.
Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:43:33 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533874 Reply
I checked my father into a mental hospital last year because he's over 70 and can't stop drinking and he's alienated or assaulted everyone in his life.
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Priscilla Wubblewetch - Mon, 02 Mar 2020 06:45:37 EST 8Lq8I12n No.533875 Reply
And in terms of this pushing you to drink, choose today to link the external image that you have of your mother in your own mind and think about it this way: no matter how good you /feel/ when you're drunk, this is what you look like, and what you are. Don't follow that path...
User is currently banned from all boards

Major insecurities flirting with new people, fucking it up SOS

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- Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:04:44 EST 0Ag2Us1E No.533800
File: 1582848284622.jpg -(485445B / 474.07KB, 750x699) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Major insecurities flirting with new people, fucking it up SOS

I have this problem where whenever Im into somebody I like, all of my insecurities come flowing out of me like a repulsive ooze that nobody wants to see or experience

I end up being self deprecating and always making excuses and being preemptively defensive about any judgments

Its the worst because with people im not interested im actually cool and chill and good to be around, but with romantic interests i actually like, i turn into a pathetic fucking slug just waiting to be salted or squished, preparing for death at any moment, and in turn, actually facilitating the salting by acting so insecure.

How do i not be insecure when interacting with people im interested in?

SOS actively fucking it up right now and probably pushing them away by being self deprecating and overly complimentary toward them

Why am i like this????????
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Reuben Pockwill - Thu, 27 Feb 2020 21:15:18 EST 0Ag2Us1E No.533805 Reply
Yeah its the same with me. Its like watching a car crash in slow motion. A car crash that i cant stop.

And then i also feel if i didnt preface with all the self deprecating shit, they would like, still assume im a dick becsuse i didnt preface it with all that stuff. Its truly a lose lose.
Edwin Grimhall - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 13:49:38 EST U2D5rH6t No.533855 Reply
I stopped trying to date/fuck.

Idk if it's the right move, but I hurt less so there's that.
Molly Pimmerchet - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 18:54:32 EST jeBHOknd No.533863 Reply
I feel this post way too much. I feel like the less I focus on it the less it hurts, then you eventually find people that don't treat you like shut because your akward, they akward too.......fuck im such a fool

Struggling to have interests

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- Sun, 23 Feb 2020 01:59:11 EST MLUXGZI9 No.533749
File: 1582441151220.png -(326395B / 318.75KB, 534x635) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Struggling to have interests
I used to play guitar regularly. I used to actively study computers. I used to watch anime and what not. Now, I just watch the same three YouTubers, play GTA Online on and off, maybe a different game here or there, and just do whatever my gf wants to do. Kinda just feel like I exist and don't really live for myself. I know that isn't my gf's fault. She isn't really forcing me to be with her or do what she wants. I just don't have any motivation to persue my hobbies. I also don't really have any other friends. It's hard. How do I get out of this nothingness cycle?
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Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:49:59 EST mttQWkrO No.533833 Reply
because like I said it would make me manic, it was like ecstasy but with a much more sinister edge, eventually I had a psychotic break and ended up in hospital for almost a month
Ebenezer Chocklelig - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:54:30 EST ZyAKcTrV No.533834 Reply
1583016870978.jpg -(20376B / 19.90KB, 480x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Did you do any or see any weird sexual shit while there? Any fingerblasting?? HMMM?
Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:57:54 EST mttQWkrO No.533836 Reply
nah it made me even more incapable of that sort of thing than I already was

BWQQ : bump when QQ

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- Fri, 17 May 2019 02:16:59 EST cSntlhQ8 No.529418
File: 1558073819757.jpg -(90830B / 88.70KB, 750x739) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. BWQQ : bump when QQ
I searched 5 pages back. Does this board get a bump thread? just vent about feelings and emotions here.

My heroin addict neighbor has been being a bitch to me lately. I can't cuss her out while talking to her, but she has been yelling at me and freaking out. So I'm gonna talk smack about her here. Sorry if this is shit posting.

holy fuck speak of the devil. shes texting me now. i did not even read what she wrote. im gonna delete it. fuck this psycho bitch. she is causing me so much stress. I hope I'm making a thread correctly.
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Molly Pisslepare - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 13:25:27 EST c0hJQZyX No.533817 Reply
1582914327631.jpg -(77621B / 75.80KB, 460x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Will turn 30 in June, yet have the social experience of a 12 year old. I had my first and only girlfriend at 21, nothing since then. No hookups, no sex, nothing. I feel like shit everytime I leave the house for too long and see happy couples having fun.
Please kill me, thanks.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 20:07:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533826 Reply
i feel like trash because i essentially wasted my youth.
watching this kind of stuff leaves me literally suicidal. i wanted to express talent but my past was too fucked up, i was too much of a destroyed human being. bladee is basically my favourite artist right now too.
Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:57:12 EST mttQWkrO No.533835 Reply
1583017032041.jpg -(90327B / 88.21KB, 1022x731) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
aged out of my parents insurance without making a plan, quit wellbutrin cold because i couldn't afford to see a doctor to get a refill, nor could i afford the refill probably and I'm weening off my lamictal for the same reason, but at least with my tapering schedule I have a few months worth left, not really feeling sad per-say except in moments, have moments of euphoria too mixed in, so I'm definitely in a mixed episode at this point but i'm keeping things in check

I've been wanting to stop my meds now that I'm doing a lot better anyway, I just hope I don't go down any further, I'm starting to feel better now anyway, wellbutrin's withdrawal or "discontinuation syndrome" isn't as protracted as I thought it would be

at least spiro and e are pretty affordable without insurance, as are hard drugs and weed, would've turned to alcohol at this point were I not already an alcoholic, I'm not opening that can of worms after 4 months sober, wouldn't do a thing for me at this point

also, ignore the racist connotations of this image, i'm not one of those people, it's just the first one i found in my folder that fit

I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on

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- Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:00:52 EST ObhhTE06 No.533783
File: 1582722052889.jpg -(19567B / 19.11KB, 408x408) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on
>FINALLY muster the courage to go out on my own for the first time in years
>sit down at a pub for a few hours
>2 guys ask to share the table with me on the other end
>I agree but they’re very friendly so they include me in their conversation almost immediately
>both tradesmen, good looking, confident young guys, also so nice and seemed so conscientious it was really shocking to me how sensitive they seemed when on the surface I was even a little intimidated by them
>they are Mens Men in a way that I could never be and all I can think is “why do they even want to hang out with me”
>we spent the whole night together and even though it was only Tuesday we went to a bar/nightclub and they ordered me drinks all night and I’ve never had so much fun
>at one point I called out to one of them with the wrong name and he had to correct me and I apologised so much
>like it was a scene from a movie he smiled and put a hand on my shoulder and said “dont worry man it’s the thought that counts” and I have never been so floored by something and I don’t know why
I added them both on Facebook and they accepted but they haven’t messaged me at all today. Of course not I get why they wouldn’t because it’s no big deal but I’m freaking out here because I’m confusing my feelings of romance with not having any friends for so long and I’m like the typical fucking queer who other men have to watch how they act around me in case I try to fuck them or something. I really hope I stay friends with these guys but I also think I could never keep up with them for so long... In a way I wish I had never met them because I kind of feel so low compared to them and am reeling so heavily all today from the amount of fun I had, but it’s just not realistic for me. For them I’m sure it meant nothing.
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Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:34:17 EST b2U4Jslk No.533829 Reply
Oh wait I do have advice
DON'T be like me where you send them a long message explaining every little thing you're feeling now. Even if they react in a relatively positive way because they're conscious enough to know that a lot of people have weird inner emotional monologues it's still something that alters 'the evolution" of your friendship
But on the other hand, accepting that it's okay and possibly even kind of normal to feel the way that you do as long as you can maintain a measure of self-control might be helpful too
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:43:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533830 Reply
Oh wait and I have more advice, sorry for triple posting, but I think it's important! It's something my therapist told me, which is that you can't assume that it meant nothing to do them. I prefer to see these early stage relationships as a collection of nascent potentialities, and every participant gets faint whiffs here and there while "playing it cool" to conceal vulnerability or demonstrate strength or... whatever reason (I actually don't know because I never play it cool lmao).
I think it would make less sense for someone to hang out with a person all night and for it to mean nothing than for it to have meant something of *some kind*.
I mean I kind of get it because it's like a counterbalance to your erotomania right and you've got that negative self-talk laid down as deeply entrenched neural pathways (tell me if I'm projecting too hard lmao) but all you really gotta do is let stuff unfold
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:50:09 EST b2U4Jslk No.533831 Reply
okay i'm still posting too much i'm sorry but one more thing: also, "normal', non-desperate people aren't threatened by the uncertainty of these "potentialities" the way I assume you might be
to them *the mystique* is exciting and interesting because it doesn't matter as much to them whether they low or high roll, they already have support systems and such in place
Whereas you want them to talk to you, you want to know everything up front, you want that solid foundation NOW so you can stop worrying about what this means
I think that generally you have to play along with this because only a minority is probably going to be accepting of anything else, as excruciating as it is. It makes you a stronger and less insecure person in the long run too I think.

I wasted my potential

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- Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:29:39 EST S6WwTyS/ No.533820
File: 1582928979049.jpg -(195191B / 190.62KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I wasted my potential
What's up guys, I just wanna vent for a second, i'm depressed that I wasted my potential, I was a super super senior in highschool due to depression from my grandparents favoring my brother and not giving as much of a fuck in the way of parenting for me so I dropped out when I only had one credit and my senior project to go so now I lie and say I got my GED but I finished one test so far and plan to finish since I was lying before and saying I finished HS but jobs in the state I moved to care about this shit so i'm working on getting my GED but I moved and ran out of funds and now the clock is ticking and I knew I had potential I was good at writing and great with English, I liked history and now I want to get into environmental science and solve the plastic crisis we have going on and other things but I have anxiety holding me back from pursuing my passion and really putting myself out there like I know I could because I have no credibility to back my knowledge and it feels like I fucked my life up. Anyone empathize?
James Fumbleway - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 18:32:12 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533821 Reply
You need to focus on one thing until you finish it, and not worry about other people. Start with one thing and move on to the next.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:37:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533824 Reply
yes i can relate.
do not neglected personal health. especially any drugs, addictions. fix the stuff that held you back initially, you need to trust that there's still something for you to do in this world. there are opportunities but you can only capitalize when you are properly functional. do not get stuck being the underground man

I want my family gone

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- Sat, 15 Feb 2020 08:40:47 EST /mNuya2g No.533626
File: 1581774047297.jpg -(156073B / 152.42KB, 418x287) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I want my family gone
You know what really pisses me off?

When I express my hatred for my family and there's a bunch of people going "B-BUT FAMILY IS EVERYTHING DDDD" or "B-BUT YOU ONLY GET 2 PARENTS AND YOU SHOULD TREASURE THEM IF YOU STILL HAVE THEM DDDD"

Like, shut the fucking fuck up. You have no idea what my family is like; they're annoying and my life is infinitely better without them. For the last couple of years I have only pretended to be nice to them so they would send me money from time to time, but now that they've cut off all financial support I have cut them out of my life. I still live with them which really sucks (I had moved out previously but had to move back) but I don't talk to them unless absolutely necessary.

You see, my father kept discouraging literally everything I wanted to do. I hate myself for listening, I didn't realise how disconnect my parents were with the current world until recently. Their advice has constantly set me back; I wanted to pursue music, my father told me not to because there's no money and instead sent me to computer school, where during the 3rd semester I simply stopped showing up because I hated it so much. I even had to pay for the tuition all by myself. This was the first time I ever defied him, and how I wish I had done it earlier.

My father never had fun his whole life. He's a miserable fuck. He spends all his money on overpriced furniture (to make it look like he has money, what a fucking emasculated joke) and yells at my mom when there's a minor inconvenience in his life. He acts like he's better than everyone else even though he has no friends or social life whatsoever. His life is go to work, come home, yell at my mom about how there's no food to eat, watch TV and sleep. But the thing that disgusts me the most about him is that he actually praises his lifestyle and wanted me to be just like him. He was against any and all fun I tried having as a kid, hating the very concept of 'fun' believing it to be a waste of time. The way he introduced life to me was basically "Hey it's cool that you're born and all, but there's no pleasure in being alive so you might as well just kill yourself now." and I still have this fucking mentality today. It is so difficult for me to have fun now because in the back of my mind I can hear my father screaming about time being wasted. I hate this.

I feel as though the only reason he married my mother was that so that somebody could cook for him. There's no love in their relationship, and this is the shit I grew up with. I have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.

My mother is just annoying. Everything she says is either cringe or just makes me uncomfortable. She talks way too fucking much about nothing and I can't take it.

The rest of my family is also pretty annoying and I have many memories of my sister taking her anxiety out on me, consequently giving me anxiety. I can't wait to be independent again because when I am I plan to never say another word to any of them ever again. I won't even go to their funerals.

Anybody can relate?
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Ebenezer Dittingham - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 15:01:14 EST oXo9Ddud No.533818 Reply
What are you braindead fucks talking about?

If you're a older, you've had more time to get established. If you choose to have children, you better make sure you can support them in whatever kind of world you bring them into.

You also need to give them the ability to choose what they want to do in life, otherwise they're basically a slave to you.

If you have children just because you wanted to fuck or feel like an "adult", and then give a lackluster life, you're a shit parent. Don't bring life into this world if you aren't good enough to actually take care of it.
James Fumbleway - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 18:35:45 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533822 Reply
Maybe not at your level. My mom pays all my bills, I live in one of her houses, she owns all the cars, she pays the staff/cleaners. I don't have a problem with this, it's just how we live.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:30:08 EST VMzmKgcf No.533823 Reply
just my opinion but it probably made you a way better person. it is always, particularly when young, to be forced to become as good as the situation demands. i guarantee that you aren't someone who sucks, i mean maybe you have some crazy rage or something idk but you are clearly an effective human being. most people are not. i myself suffered from the opposite: my parents smothered me (mom controlling bitch, father is a pussy). mostly everything was done for me and i was taught nothing. i was always left out too because i was simultaneously neglected and helicopter parented, a very weird, crazy combination that basically guarantees you will be on the bottom-rung of society's ladder, especially socially. i was just sort of allowed to coast in a very bad state of health, hard to describe fully but i was 100% a suicide. now i'm some weird loner. frankly i am smart so i have a very good chance of using the gifts that i have been given from my predicament to produce something of quality, which will probably save me in the end. i am a weird loner but i'll tell you that most people will never get out of the loops that they find themselves in. some people are in literal hell, do you realize that?
it's true i wasn't sex trafficked or anything but i grew up in extremely unhealthy circumstances. actually i did get non-penetratively touched once by that fucking idiot, 80% sure but it was a one time occurrence so i let it go. he talks to me like i'm an idiot because i don't relate to him. guy is a fucking moron, no self-reflection in him. studying philosophy in university has led me to the belief that he probably literally doesn't have a soul. doesn't know anything, just puts his head down, the whole family was a satanic ritual lol
you need to have enough faith that what you are is different and legitimate, this is something i was never taught, and i only learned through hating them. nature works in beautiful ways like that. i was given a home and food but i was severely failed, the failed parenting will absolutely destroy you, idec about being molested once, it's the lack of a normal development that is much more substantial. and people need to resist it as much as they can. frankly, it hurts to talk about them like that, but this is the truth and i no longer feel shame for it. they are deeply unhealthy people, and they took everything from me. at least i'm not dead like my sister, long story.
idk, you should focus less on your parents (what you feel is true and you should just let it do its thing), allow your anger to become a part of you, that's the way to integrate these things. i feel better for having accepted hatred for my family, and more on the fact that you are healthy (physically at least), an effective human being, you have your youth with a blank slate. that's the way you should view your life, as an adventure. you need to do the thing that you know you should be doing, and if you can't then you have to look at your life and keep changing things until they, rather than being a problem, are now the things that carry you upward.

anyway all that to say i can relate to you

i will tell you one other thing. when i got away from them, a LOT of my problems disappeared. toxic people do affect you in ways that most can't even begin to articulate, so they are accepted blindly. that will mangle you like it would anyone, because babies are born without having been tainted by the society and the world. i was feeling the truth the whole time, the anger during high school and after particularly, but i got mindfucked into thinking that it was wrong. went something like: feel the feeling and then "but i must be bad because i hate my mom, so now i hate myself because only a piece of shit would hate his mom."


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- Tue, 11 Feb 2020 17:16:22 EST vgf0tTGM No.533575
File: 1581459382179.jpg -(3558933B / 3.39MB, 3024x4032) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anxiety
Does this look serious? Also, what the hell os it? I’m very stressed out over this. Will my house collapse one day? Would this be costly to fix?
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Hugh Brorrygold - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 09:39:20 EST bgNsrXdi No.533718 Reply
>helpfulandy posts photo of bottle
>front of bottle explains precisely what it does
>4chins reject: "what does it dooooo?"
What kind of troll is it when you pretend to be a moron and you're an actual moron but you can say you're pretending... Like what you're doing, what validation do you get from this?
Diddle Maroki Baboki - Thu, 27 Feb 2020 22:53:33 EST gFDxoYPM No.533808 Reply
1582862013461.jpg -(58008B / 56.65KB, 671x517) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I only asked a question. Freaking out but I’ll get over it.

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