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Discord Now Fully Linked With 420chan IRC

GF caught me jerking off

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- Thu, 21 Nov 2019 21:22:03 EST i3yeJaDw No.532498
File: 1574389323354.jpg -(170594B / 166.60KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. GF caught me jerking off
As the title says, my gf of 3 years found me post-wank. I had been watching softcore porn, and the video was finished but still up on the screen. I had cleaned up but was holding the tissues in my hand. Tldr, she cottoned on pretty quickly to what I was doing.

At first, she laughed and said "I'll let you finish then". I thought that it wasn't such a bad thing. When I went back to our bedroom, she started to cry and we had a talk where she apologized for "not being enough for me". For context, we just had sex yesterday. I explained that I get horny more than once a week, and that I will take care of myself instead of constantly annoying her with my dick.

I feel... I don't know. Ashamed? But then I feel dumb for feeling shamed for having sexual urges. My gf is a good person, but she can be closed minded when it comes to sexual openness (born and raised in Asia). She was also cheated on by her previous bf, which has left her with some huge trust issues. She said to me yesterday that if I'm masturbating, then I'm going to go cheat soon, because she isn't enough for me. I tried to explain that masturbating is exactly why I won't cheat, as I can get any extra sexual urges out of my system.

Anyway, tldr, gf caught me spanking the monkey, and she is pissed. Am I in the wrong at all? What can I say or do to make things right? I don't want to feel shamed for being a human, with needs.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Priscilla Chevingmedge - Fri, 22 Nov 2019 14:32:44 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532506 Reply
That sounds unhealthy. She's going to be one of those wives you only fuck once a month or whatever. Find someone else OP my gf always wants to fuck
Samuel Blickleford - Fri, 22 Nov 2019 16:40:40 EST UCv5Ucxl No.532508 Reply
You're not in the wrong at all... it's healthy and normal and I'm more worried that she doesn't masturbate... Life without masturbation would really really suck, tell her a woman on the internet says she should bond with the jets from the shower head (and then she'll understand it doesn't mean she's going to cheat or that you aren't enough)

Losing virginity at 30

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- Thu, 05 Sep 2019 19:46:51 EST BR2YlFPa No.531542
File: 1567727211269.jpg -(1387906B / 1.32MB, 2048x1536) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Losing virginity at 30
Right off I'm going to say, I know it's my fault I've achieved wizard status. It just took me way too long to realize that I need to let shit go and that happiness isn't found within a comfort zone.

A little background: I'm a short, fat guy(5'8, ~200lbs) that never really did anything with his life. I have a full-time job(not great money), a car, and a place to live(not with parents). At my core, I'm just a lonely, whiny kid that's scared of most interaction, constantly mumbles, and gets discouraged very easily. I convinced myself that keeping my mouth shut, staying under the radar, and just going along with what people say would work out best for everyone. I've gotten better, but I'm still a long way from where I feel I should be. There are probably many deal-breakers about me, but the things that immediately spring to mind are my weight and my teeth. I have several cavities from drinking too much sugary bullshit as a kid, then beer in my 20s, while rarely brushing my teeth. All I can do is try my best to take care of them, since I don't have nearly enough money to get them fixed.

While sex is the ultimate goal, I would like to build some type of relationship first. I don't know where to start though. Should I do it in person, or is everything done on phones now? Are jeans and a t-shirt acceptable attire, or is it more of a shirt and tie thing? How much ridicule should I expect? I doubt anyone here has personal experience, but any kind of help would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: Fat, bitch-boy virgin wants a girlfriend, but doesn't know where to start.

I apologize if this type of thread gets posted a lot,. I'm still fairly new here.
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Martin Brudgemut - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 11:19:39 EST JWWudQ3H No.532489 Reply
if you're the type of dude who jerks of to hentai or whatever I'd stay away from that shit as much as possible when looking for a girl. I've jerked off to it a day before I was about to hang out with a good looking girl and when things started to get hot I had a difficult time getting into it.
Charlotte Gunningham - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 17:50:26 EST UZC9gHak No.532496 Reply
Dog you gotta work out fix your teeth brush whiten lose weight and make more money first

Feeling nothing after a friends suicide

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- Sat, 16 Nov 2019 04:10:43 EST v0joz5Oe No.532404
File: 1573895443660.jpg -(2950425B / 2.81MB, 2592x1728) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Feeling nothing after a friends suicide
A close friend of mine killed himself this morning, I found out through his family and despite the initial shock I don't feel anything at all. My parents who barely knew him where far more upset than I was. I know I should feel upset but I just feel nothing.
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Ernest Decklehot - Mon, 18 Nov 2019 11:24:33 EST S1e5N1Bk No.532434 Reply
Is this typical for you? That is to say, is feeling nothing after somebody you know dies something you've experienced before?

I would say the others in the thread are right, and it just hasn't hit you yet, but at the same time you might just be like me. I've had a lot of people in my life die, a few I actually cared a lot for even, and every time it's happened I feel nothing about it... and still don't to this day.

For some people, like me (and possibly you... maybe, maybe not), grief just doesn't occur... feelings don't occur. Yeah, I can never interact with that person again, but my life is more or less no different for it. It's like I'm skipping the grief and going straight to the over it part. I recognize and accept that they're gone, and there's nothing more to it. I rarely find myself missing people even when they're alive either. Rarely I might miss somebody, and it's the same then whether they're dead or still alive. It's typically very short lived and it's more like a very slight nostalgia kind of thing. Either way, it isn't sad and doesn't otherwise evoke much of an emotional response. Of course, I've got pretty shallow emotions as it is anyway.
Fuck Crunningstone - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 08:40:23 EST 3nVA6FX4 No.532462 Reply
That's a damaged view. You feel emotions and you express them. Just because aren't aware of your emotions and aren't in control of them doesn't mean they're not there.
Nathaniel Bicklefan - Wed, 20 Nov 2019 01:39:05 EST s/u8z/Ou No.532472 Reply
The longer it takes to hit you the more it will hit you all at once. Sorry for your loss OP

Too much

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- Tue, 01 Oct 2019 22:22:42 EST 2XVEGG21 No.531942
File: 1569982962035.jpg -(46567B / 45.48KB, 373x332) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Too much
I thought today would finally be the day that marked my freedom, that opened my doors, that would allow me to begin my journey towards financial stability which in turn would lead to happiness. "I will no longer be poor. I will no longer be poor!" I lied to myself. Is there really some sort of force out there that wants to keep me living in poverty? I truly cannot handle this anymore.

The pharmacy technician exam was nothing like I studied for. I went in confident but that confidence quickly fizzled out. I can retry it before the end of the year, but it'll be my last chance. After that I'll need to attend some sort of mandatory course, and I'm sure that won't be freely accessible online.

I really don't have many options. I'll keep reapplying at other jobs locally, but I can only do so much when they don't do as much as interview me. I only have so many options with no car and no public transport. I want to buy a car but it's too expensive. Having a car would be incredible. More opportunities... I wouldn't have to walk to work anymore. Walking to work, working outside all day, then walking home is too much. It's hot. It's so hot here. Humid, humid heat. I love walking but not in this environment. I'm not from here and I don't know when I'll get used to this extreme heat. I want to go back to college but I need a car to do that. To afford a car I need a better job, but to get a better job I need a car. Pharmacy work would break me out of this cycle, there are plenty of pharmacies nearby, but as they don't hire trainees I need to pass the exam. If I don't pass it next time I don't know what I'll do.

I'm so exhausted.
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Sidney Sommerforth - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 14:41:15 EST 8k4rT52w No.532468 Reply
XD i know this happens every single time i use wellbutrin
Archie Nonderforth - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 21:32:12 EST SUZYoLJH No.532470 Reply
Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you. By now, you should have somehow realized what you're not to do.
Albert Gozzlestire - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 22:56:49 EST NpvZxK2o No.532471 Reply
1574222209166.jpg -(229693B / 224.31KB, 1620x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Always amazed to hear people had similar experiences with wellbutrin. I've talked about it before, but both times I took it led to some of my most mentally unstable moments in life.

Intense emotional lability at it's best, paranoid psychosis at its worst.

I'll admit, I did dramatically improve my life immediately following each episode, so in a way maybe it works well.


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- Mon, 21 Oct 2019 21:29:18 EST LiC8iReQ No.532173
File: 1571707758209.gif -(4201106B / 4.01MB, 480x270) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Aspergers
How do I be have aspergers and be happy? gif related, it's someone with aspergers being happy.
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Phineas Cebbertodge - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 10:20:40 EST e3wdNql7 No.532463 Reply
yeah and then what? you'll still living in society, finding a crumb of happiness with any mental condition (asperegers, depression, anxiety etc.) is not possible unless you live in a country with great socialist politics like Canada or your parents are rich and aren't cheap assholes in which case you can get the help you need.
also how would you "accept yourself" in practice? how do you do that and what does it mean in practice?
not op btw
Rebecca Bloffingstodge - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 11:28:31 EST eGS6zz6/ No.532465 Reply
1574180911652.jpg -(58048B / 56.69KB, 600x639) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

> How for do self acceptance

Jungian shadow work is all about identifying undesired thoughts, feelings and actions, and saying "Hey. This is okay. This is me. This is neither good nor bad. It's just me, and I'm okay." Really worked well for me.

Non-violent communication also provides strategies for accepting one's self. Usually when we're less than perfect, we'll insult and blame ourselves. In NVC, we skip insults and blame; we just identify what needs of ours are currently not being met, due to what we did in the past, mourn the loss of that opportunity to enrich our lives, then decide what we want to do next. Very effective. Highly recommended.
Henry Duckhood - Tue, 19 Nov 2019 19:54:15 EST SZ1e8Saq No.532469 Reply
A few of my friends have aspergers and they fit in quite well with my friends. We all have mental health problems. So it's all about finding your people and putting yourself out there.

One of them had extensive therapy as a kid to help her develop so she doesn't come off immediately as aspergers. The other guy he does all kinds of stuff like jui jiutsu and going on hippy retreats. He has interpersonal problems but managed to get a fuck buddy after some misunderstandings. He will wonder off and have breathers after socializing for too long in a row.

It's a process. We all have to try, open ourselves up to failure and learn how to adapt to new situations


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- Sun, 06 Oct 2019 16:11:43 EST tRqVt3h/ No.532001
File: 1570392703688.png -(32757B / 31.99KB, 645x773) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Feels
Fellas, it has been over 8 months since she said she wanted to be only platonic, and it has not stopped hurting
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Jenny Pillerwedging - Sun, 13 Oct 2019 19:01:47 EST R/ymg22H No.532104 Reply
Drop her; she's fuckin' other people.

Smoke a joint; there's 4.5 billion women on this fucking rock.

Go smash a couple you cuccumber
Jist - Sun, 13 Oct 2019 19:36:12 EST LbPBpo3d No.532105 Reply
It beautiful I've never had a fucking plutonic.
Actually I've had one that just always had a boyfriend tho.
She asked me in front of my brother and her boyfriend... What I thought of her.
... She told me I was just a brother..
Woulda been like yeah I fuck my lettes.
... I just fussed tho fool.
Phoebe Sullerfuck - Sun, 17 Nov 2019 18:26:23 EST JWWudQ3H No.532423 Reply
Feeling this today, we fooled around for a bit. I know I'll get over it soon, but still feeling a little sad today.

My Dad thinks I am a closeted gay? (extensive lore)

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- Sat, 02 Nov 2019 19:42:32 EST h5guVZBz No.532269
File: 1572738152507.jpg -(5448B / 5.32KB, 251x201) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My Dad thinks I am a closeted gay? (extensive lore)
>be 12 (like 13 years ago)
>my brother is enthusiasmo and an asshole
>he pisses me off one day so I tell everyone on the school bus that he can't ride a bike
>brother spergs out and hits me and gets kicked off bus
>he spends the next few school days telling every person he can what a supreme homo I am
>One day I'm getting ready to go to school and my dad pulls me aside
>"anon, are you gay?"
>"YES ANON, I've SEEN...the signs...ever since you were born"
>(brain is exploding at this point) "w-w-w-what..? I'm not gay, Dad."
>"thats not what your brother says..."
>(in my head I'm thinking: "that fucking brother of mine how am I gonna get outta this one and what the FUCK is my dad talkin' about??")
>"Ok, Dad...listen..."
>"YOU DON't..need...to explain anything Anon..its okay!"
>"DAD! I'm NOT GAY! What makes you think that??" (my exasperation is only strengthening his argument)
>"Anon...I think you're in denial.."
>(at this point what little sense of self I had at age 12 is completely shattered, and yes, I admit, I cried like a lil bitch.)
>"Dad...I'm not gay..."
>"...okay anon...but whatever happens...whatever comes your way...we LOVE you."
>"okay" I go to school and spend the next month in a near-catatonic daze of self doubt. I didn't think I was gay before, but now I was definitely unsure and mixed up.
>The irony of this whole thing is that my Dad probably thought he was being supper supportive (which he was in a way) but it ended up being one of the biggest WTF moments of my life and I was just...dumbfounded...
>My brother sure got his revenge. His plan was so genius in its simplicity...because to this day, even after having a few girlfriends and long-term relationships...I have reason to believe my dad STILL thinks I'm some kind of tortured closeted gay dude. NEVER underestimate the middle school rumor mill.
>fast forward to recently last week, my cousin comes out as a lesbian after being married to a guy for 18 years, just ups and leaves him for some other lady, and me and my Dad talk about the deceptive nature of the whole thing.
>in his mind, he thinks she chose to do this suddenly because her dad and my uncle was a major homophobe, but she was his favorite daughter after their first daughter drowned, so he thinks she was pressured into having a hetero facade for his sake and when he died, she lifted the veil so to speak, at the expense of her now heartbroken and humiliated husband.
>he goes on a shpiel: "it seems we have a master deceiver in the family. some people do that you know? live their whole lives...lying to themselves...lying to everyone...carrying on a facade...I mean with my brother (he's speaking of my gay uncle) everyone knew but he didnt admit it until later...mid 20s...no girlfriend...we all knew something was up you know?"
>I reply "right."
>(a bit of an awkward silence..then he says:) "So...you know...something to think about..."
>I didn't even reply but later on I thought "he can't seriously still think...no...really?"

I think the worst part about it is that he thinks I'm living a lie and suffering inside and I wouldn't want him to worry. I've had a few girlfriends but a lot of relationship trouble and I'll admit I'm just not successful with dating, and it has usually ended badly for me, so I've been kind of isolated and alone for a few years now. I can CLEARLY see why he would think the things he does...I just cannot talk my way out of it? If I sat him down and explained just how not-gay I was, I'd only seem gayer. Even you, reading this, probably think I'm gay at this point.
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Sophie Susslespear - Sat, 16 Nov 2019 15:40:20 EST adjylITm No.532413 Reply
LOL op. Nice story. I laughed.
I can also relate on some level.
When I was 12 I was an angsty teen. Nothing hardcore, just being sad playing videogames, throwing shitty graffitis with my friends in town, that kinda stuff.
Literally no major drug use or anything like that. Didn't even try weed at this point.

>One time we got caught putting up paint.
>Some old lady called the cops on us and they followed us for a while on our bikes, then nfs most wanted busted scene.avi.
>Was about 13 at the time, so our parents were called to the police station and ultimately they had to pay for the damage.
>School hears about this, we didn't get expelled, though all the teachers picked on us afterwards, small town.
>Forced by parents/school to go to psychiatrist because omg 13 year olds with a can of spray paint, definitely not right in the head
>I just wanted to continue with school and forget about the shit, didn't even paint afterwards at all
>They diagnose me with depression because I just kept telling the therapist I don't wanna waste my time at these appointments , i don't feel like anything's wrong, don't feel depressed we just had fun throwing up graffitis and just want to move on and learn from the mistake, after a while I just refused to attend.
>Parents still think for years I'm hiding being horribly depressed/fucked in the head, even though I lived a completely normal life, finished hs, weed, gfs, first car, whatever.
>Grandparents live a good distance away, hear the story afterwards from my mom
>Always loved visiting them, they didn't care about anything and just pumped me with food and money.
>Next time we visit them they talk to me in a weird, condescending, hospital nurse-like tone, as if it suddenly turned out that I'm retarded, enthusiasmo, suicidal or something.
>"I'm ok"
>"Don't be in denial, they can help you..."

>Ever since my grandparents and greater family are convinced there's something horribly wrong with me and talk to me like I'm a straight up psycho/depressed. After all, the doctor's said it 11 years ago, and I sure can't know better than them. That obviously makes me act depressed around them cause of this bullshit.
>Completely ruined my relationship with most of my family
>They blame everything in my life that doesn't go 100% well that it's because something is wrong with me and I just don't wanna get help, even though I have job, gf, car, normal life, and don't talk to the tv or believe in conspiracy theories like they do.
>Don't even bother talking to or visiting these country ass retards that are my broader family, even though before they insisted on me being depressed/retarded because of painting on a wall 11 years ago I didn't mind their country ass retardedness at all and we got along well.
>Because of me not talking to them anymore at all they are completely sure it's because I'm just so depressed/fucked in the head so the whole thing is beyond repair.

This is how I lost 90% of my relatives after putting up some shitty graffiti at 13.
At least your situation is funny, mine is just sad. Actually, maybe your dad is just thinking of this as a running gag? Maybe he's trolling you at this point.
Clara Cluttingsidging - Sun, 17 Nov 2019 09:07:47 EST zfo60YSn No.532419 Reply
Why don't you get a therapist and do what they say?
Cedric Clucklepeck - Sun, 17 Nov 2019 10:06:50 EST adjylITm No.532421 Reply
LOL at this point i really should. its not even funny man.

Productivity problem

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- Sat, 02 Nov 2019 04:52:24 EST eA4oU0qK No.532258
File: 1572684744459.jpg -(123437B / 120.54KB, 1024x517) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Productivity problem
How do I prevent myself from thinking something isn't worth doing because I'm not in a good "flow"?

For example
Should I go for a run today?
- No, I didn't get up early, I didn't do any chores, so why should I do this positive thing (running) when the rest of the day has been pointless and a waste of time?

Maybe this doesn't make sense, but it cripples me. And whenever I do get into a good rhythm of positive behaviour, the second I do a "bad" thing or have a slightly less productive day, I let things slide completely and it takes weeks for me to get back to being productive.
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Rebecca Buttingnug - Sat, 16 Nov 2019 00:29:21 EST XxPCA8Zn No.532402 Reply

Do you know precisely what "productive" tasks you wish to accomplish? If you have that figured then you can make a plan that tomorrow when you wake up you will do 30 minutes of it and then have some rest. Or 10 minutes if you are really procrastinating or anxious etc. Then bump it up every day/session.
Hugh Cettingworth - Sat, 16 Nov 2019 10:15:19 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532409 Reply
It doesn't matter what you do, I don't think. You don't have to do what so many speakers talk about - getting up and making your bed and whatever else. You'll get it eventually, man. If you are really having that much of a hard time then perhaps you need some exercise to oxygenate your blood and increase your circulation.

Good advice. Even a few minutes is an accomplishment. Being disciplined isn't exactly easy.
Clara Cluttingsidging - Sun, 17 Nov 2019 09:09:17 EST zfo60YSn No.532420 Reply
I have a chromebook next to my bed that runs TeamViewer into my pc in the next room. In the morning when I don't feel like getting out of bed I also have no excuses to not be productive where I am.

Reconsidering FIFO (fly in fly out) work

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- Thu, 03 Oct 2019 05:31:13 EST RwEHTjB+ No.531949
File: 1570095073965.png -(101380B / 99.00KB, 500x349) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Reconsidering FIFO (fly in fly out) work
I'm studying to become a geologist and have almost finished 1st year but I'm starting to reconsider the fact that I would have to do a FIFO job. I want to have a wife and children but if I do this I won't see the children and the wife every night etc. It sounds slavery-tier to not be able to see my woman every night. Thoughts? I would probably be doing an 8:6 roster i.e. 8 days on 6 days off.
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Basil Piblingbitch - Mon, 11 Nov 2019 12:59:19 EST 1SSFeKJF No.532348 Reply
I think it's because many find it apparent they're not very well laid plans.

He's got hugely specific end goals which don't even make sense and no intermediate steps. No backup. No multiple paths or "I can achieve this a bunch of ways". The biggest issue is that he's going to ask a woman to spend her life running around after his dream and then not even be there. If you have realistic plans with multiple routes and stuff and fallbacks then fine don't compromise. When they're basically blue sky fairy magic the best you can hope for is that OP wants an open relationship is or unironically a s t a l l i o n.
Cedric Shakeville - Mon, 11 Nov 2019 15:27:49 EST UuASd/Tk No.532349 Reply
>The biggest issue is a woman.
Women aren't stupid. He can't even sell his delusion to us so I doubt a woman is even in the works for this guy. His biggest issue is that he is going to cripple himself and probably never even have the chance to explore the wonderful world of love and partnership.
Rebecca Buttingnug - Sat, 16 Nov 2019 00:25:49 EST XxPCA8Zn No.532401 Reply

No, the woman part isn't my problem at all. Women love dominant men, and I already have that down. Women go crazy if they aren't led by a strong man (hence modern women).

In relationship and still depressed

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- Thu, 08 Aug 2019 02:54:46 EST 4ib52sHp No.530862
File: 1565247286707.jpg -(61333B / 59.90KB, 640x1136) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. In relationship and still depressed
I now have a girlfriend but i feel totally alone and depressed all the time... Is this normal
Like... I do love her.. But I'm nust so sad and bummed out all the time and it just doesn't feel right... I don't want to break up with her but I also don't want to get more and more distant to the point that she breaks up with me....

Can somebody please give me some advice?
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Edward Guddlesock - Fri, 15 Nov 2019 11:38:03 EST CDFLN7bh No.532398 Reply
What have you done besides take drugs and lie in bed?
Shitting Clurringpetch - Fri, 15 Nov 2019 17:52:18 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532399 Reply
You have a human being that's supposed to be connected to you for the rest of your life. That should be a huge source of happiness, comfort and a weight lifted off your shoulders as you no longer need to worry about chasing women. If the situation has deteriorated it's because you let it. When you have a relationship with someone, both parties are energetically responsible for keeping it healthy. In a spiritual way I mean.

I can empathize with you because, like everyone, I've had negative relationships with people. I'm talking about any kind of relationship - friendship primarily. It can be easy to get "sick of someone's shit" but the same goes for these cases, as I can see now at this point in my life - you both have a responsibility to manifest good energy and keep your friendship or your marriage where you've both agreed is the most enjoyable place for it to be.

The grass is greener on the other side. I'm a violent felon now with no friends and there are essentially 2 things I want in my life. One I wont tell you and the other is to have human connection. When some people say they have no friends they don't usually mean it the way that I do - which is in the literal sense. My own issues and drug dependency and lack of discipline and overall weakness of character are the reason that my life is not how I want it to be. I understand this and I'm looking to remedy it. It's hard to not be lazy. Life is a magical thing and it's easy to take it for granted and forget that. If you want it to be magical you are obligated to do certain things to raise it there and/or to keep it there. We can't live in a constant state of comfort.. this is a debatable statement but only because a "constant state of comfort" could be a lot of different things. We all have to put work into life is what I'm saying. You're my elder so you must know this already.. but I think you have something really great and I hope it can start feeling that way to you again - sometime soon. If you're stagnating from the opiate use then switch to a different drug, whether you want to be clean and sober or you want to get high. I'm not convinced that drug use is a negative thing for a person to engage in.. maybe I'm fantasizing, but I think if a person manages their life the right way that they can have a great life while maintaining drug habits. I was never more happy and never felt more successful than the month or two leading up to me getting incarcerated. It sucked the life out of me and when I got out I was and still am often an a bitter, angry, agitated and bored 24/7 person.

Depression is a sick disease. It's a form of self deception and it's like eating yourself. What ,in your mind, is contributing to you feeling depressed?

That's never the answer. If you're going to embrace an ending to your life then I hope it's at least a cool one where you aren't going out wallowing and sad and pitiful and all shitty. At least do something useful and leave a mark on the world if you're going to throw in the towel.

Suicide, from my own personal experience from dealing with severe depression as a teenager, is a thought that is a part of a game we are playing with ourselves when we're depressed. Our thoughts on death are not the same right now as they would be if we were actually facing imminent death. Unless you meditate like a warrior all the time, that is. Depression, from what I experienced, I see now was very much an addiction. I could get an actual body high from invoking and amplifying sorrow in me. I could feel it in my chest even, a very strong feeling of energy or something.

If you were really ok, or if you just believe you are, with not resisting and even promoting the end of your life, why not take some big risks and change your life completely? Do something crazy like sell everything you own and start a dog rescue farm, or something related to some interest you have in life. Move to another country.. before you kill yourself at least try to give up the life you currently have and take on another one much different.. you have nothing to lose.

Hopefully this isn't just some stupid pep talk you think you've heard many times before. I'm not afraid of you killing yourself but inner love for my fellow man is driving me to make sure you're aware of much better options you h…
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Shitting Clurringpetch - Fri, 15 Nov 2019 18:12:21 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532400 Reply
I forgot to finish a sentence in this post. Maybe I'll come back and do it later. Depression is a nasty disease in my eyes. More disgusting than cancer. It's a vile thing. Someone has to do the dirty work, the hard work, the man's job and stand up and fight the bad things or evil that their people are facing. Somebody has to be the warrior or the unrecognized, unrewarded hero. I'm not saying I'm a hero, especially not in this place in this context with the rest of you browsing and posting here. What I'm saying is that somebody has to take the responsibility of doing what the other people are too weak or unfit to do. Somebody has to handle business. I'm 24 and grew up without a male role model. Some of you may have already figured out the things I'm mentioning here and may know them even better than I could. I never had a male role model in my life and now I kind of think I'm starting to figure out what I think being a man is/should be. I think it's an honor and this is all fine while I sit here on my ass not currently taking my own advice or being the most disciplined human ever and conquering the world like it may seem that I should be, when I'm forcing motivation toward other people. I know one day I'll get somewhere - I'll be on track. Each one of us probably knows the same thing about our own selves.. one day we'll get there. We get caught in phases and we get time stolen from us. In the end it's each one of us as an individual that has to pay for this. Whether you're an atheist, religious, believe in reincarnation.. if you're losing time you're going to pay for it. And if you're doing things to let this happen it's going to be worse for you.

drug dependency

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- Wed, 13 Nov 2019 01:19:04 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532361
File: 1573625944857.jpg -(27191B / 26.55KB, 320x427) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. drug dependency
I can't really expect anyone to give a shit about this but I'm making small efforts in my life to reach out for advice or help, trying to correct the problem in a subtle way.

As far as I can tell I have personality problems and probably could get a DID diagnosis if for whatever reason I wanted to. I can't get anything done sober and am usually shaky, out of breath, unrelaxed but still seem like a total stiff with a blank expression on my face and no enthusiasm.

When I use drugs (I wont say what) I turn into a different person and this is the only reason I went from being a recluse all my life to being someone in school, having had jobs, and having had a girlfriend before. I can't stand being sober and 24/7 when I am, I feel agitated and pissed off. I can't enjoy hardly anything in life. Being high lets me connect with parts of myself that I can't normally bring up and I can go from being someone that has a ptsd-like reaction to eye contact with strangers, to being the coolest most outgoing person in the room that is almost incapable of feeling any sort of fear.

I can't feel love when I'm sober either. I'm aware that I'm full of shit and that my life is probably many times better than I think it is and that if that were to change by some means I would feel deep remorse for having been ignorant to my good life. I struggle to value my life when I'm sober. I'm bitter and full of resentment toward other people and really can barely even live my own life without being high.

I have a violent felony and am on probation. If I violate my probation I will almost certainly be going to prison. I'm in school, I have some money and I have a lot of nice things, but this doesn't cut it for me. I want my freedom and I want the thought-police out of my life. I kind of dislike myself when I'm sober - from the way that I look to the way that I talk, and so many things about me.

Life is magical and everything's beautiful though when I'm high. I went from years of every day drug use to having to stop while I was locked up, to getting out and now not being able to use freely. If I do get high (do I?) or if I were to, there would be very few opportunities for me to do so as I dance around the drug tests.

I feel bad all the time every day and it's not from withdrawals or anything. I was actually the same way before I even started using drugs.

I don't really like psychiatrists or pharmaceutical drugs but I'm thinking maybe I should try to get some kind of prescription medication because I feel like anything is better than being sober.

I feel bad. Thanks to anyone that can offer me something, because I know I don't deserve it and I don't really offer many other people the sort of attention and aid that I'm looking for here.
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Edwin Buzzridge - Wed, 13 Nov 2019 12:49:52 EST 1SSFeKJF No.532364 Reply
This. Addiction isn't a disease but it sure as hell isn't a cure. It's a symptom.
Albert Shittingfield - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 17:08:29 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532383 Reply
Today I was diagnosed as having a substance abuse disorder. Drugs taught me all about cognitive biases.. starting with weed as a teenager which allowed me to step out of my head and look at myself the way that other people likely see me. The person that diagnosed me seemed open to trying to get me some kind of medication that could replicate the aid I was getting from my drug of choice, possibly in effort to prevent me from continuing to use and ending up in prison. Though having a substance abuse problem, I don't know how likely it is that I could get something prescribed that I'd be happy with.

Sure I could see that. I'm under the impression that not eating for 10 days may not be a good choice - I know there are conflicting views on long fasts. I'd rather try to get back into the habit of doing a lot of meditation. Have you tried that? You can use breathing exercises and void meditating to put yourself in altered states of mind that have feel-able tranquil effects on the mind and body.

Why were you in despair? Does that mean you had a serious case of depression? Being at the point I am in life I could never be depressed again but I definitely get pissed off and resentful toward life and others. Do you feel happy that you are, or fortunate to be alive now? Did you have a really shitty diet before this? That's pretty remarkable that fasting was able to profoundly help you.

I outgrew smoking weed when I turned 20. The drug I like now is something I always figured I'd outgrow too, but now I've been denied the chance to do that. Weed promoted a lot of personal development in me as did my current drug of choice. I still feel like I could gain more from it.

Is drug use really inherently a bad thing? Even though most people poorly manage their drug habits, who is to say that having a long-term drug habit can't work out well for some people? My life got immensely better when I began to use this drug and I still live in the aftermath of the change it fostered, which I'm convinced is a better place than I would otherwise be in. Legal trouble aside.. I'm really not even guilty of what I was charged with and I only pled guilty to get out of jail after serving almost a county year without getting sentenced. I took the first offer (which you're not supposed to) but someone in a similar situation with multiple counts of my same felony was given a worse deal.

Thanks guys.
Jack Hurringfoot - Fri, 15 Nov 2019 08:25:13 EST Iyq9ehyq No.532397 Reply
But why do you have a substance use disorder? Yes addiction is a problem for you but its probably not the only one.

Anyway smoke some DMT

Get off probation early

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- Thu, 14 Nov 2019 14:57:49 EST w154aXlR No.532381
File: 1573761469783.jpg -(209354B / 204.45KB, 900x675) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Get off probation early
Is there any way to get off probation early? I read online you can get off early after the half way point with no failed drug tests, fines paid off, and everything completed. Ive done everything, never failed a drug test, havent really had a problem, I’m about to go pay all my fines off and stuff. Is there anything i can do?

The only problem is they keep asking me to get a job and shit like that but i keep telling them i lost my license, i applied to a ton of shit never got any calls back, and both my parents are disabled and cant do much or help me, and theres no public transportation near where i live or anything like its totally fucked.

I read online there’s just nothing you can do (at least in my shit state) if the PO doesnt say yes. If they say yes its pretty much cleared and mine is kind of a bitch and the most strict shit and the worst person in the whole office.

I got the most strict shit for no fucking reason. It’s a fucking misdemeanor being treated like a fucking federal fucking felony case or something. Most strict shit, longest fucking sentence, most amount of amount of meetings, like fucking rediculous amount of non stop meetings, for a minor misdemeanor that happened fucking forever ago and ive been on good behavior the whole time.

Can i at least get it reduced do you think to like just calling in or have it lowered to unsupervised where i just need to stay out of trouble for the rest of my time? This shit is hectic and ruining my life and i really havent been doing anything i got in no trouble, missed no meetings, havent failed a single test, did everything they asked, finished all my classes. The only thing is just not holding a job
Jack Hurringfoot - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 21:42:47 EST Iyq9ehyq No.532388 Reply
I think I speak for all of us when I say that holy fuck I cant wait for your probation to end so you can move on with your life and stop posting the same shit all the time.

Dont drive under the influence dude

Money problems

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- Thu, 07 Nov 2019 12:33:44 EST /eUtww1q No.532321
File: 1573148024550.jpg -(35211B / 34.39KB, 540x521) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Money problems
It's been a long time since I last posted here, and It's always been stuff about relationships and whatnot, but now I have a different kind of issue

I'm staying in a foreign country until the beginning of December, when I'll go back to my piece of shit third world country (currently in Germany). I've been putting off finding a job here becauses I sort of have enough money to last until I go back to my country, but it would be such a great thing to be able to go back with some money saved.

The issue is: I'd only be able to work for like 3 weeks, so I'd have to give notice that I'm leaving just one week after being fired. I also don't have any real skills other than being nice, not being stupid, and speaking german, english and spanish, so I'll probably be doing something in Gastronomy.

To any of you working in gastro, how often do you see people starting and quitting one week after they get hired?

I also don't know many people here, so it'd basically be going into shops and asking for a job, and then quitting one week after. I hate doing shit like this, but I could really use the money.
I wouldn't say upfront that I'm quitting either, because who'd hire someone with pretty much no experience for just 3 weeks? The paperwork alone is not worth it.

Anyway, I'm going crazy with this shit. Should I suck it up for not having looked for a job before, or should I be an asshole and look for a job nonetheless?

tl;dr: How often do people quit their job after one week of having started
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Doris Dallerson - Fri, 08 Nov 2019 23:28:58 EST dQXlEN/o No.532328 Reply
It's a fucking dick move unless you tell them you're only looking for 3 weeks work. Otherwise you're just wasting there time and taking the position from someone who actually can do the job in a longer term.
Edwin Goodshit - Sat, 09 Nov 2019 12:02:32 EST XnNJKW4n No.532334 Reply
it is coming up to christmas, a lot of places will be taking on temporary staff, you might not have to lie

I'd really ask you not to be dishonest, because, unfortunately, the way humans mind's work is that you will represent immigrants in their heads, and if you jerk them around they won't think you are a jerk, they will think immigrants are unreliable and dishonest and not want to hire them any more. This is teh pain in the ass of being a minority, you are always seen as representing your whole group and it sucks because there's enormous pressure on you not to have a bad day
George Turveybury - Sat, 09 Nov 2019 16:43:09 EST Vy+PrA5P No.532338 Reply
you could see if there's any festivals, shows or temporary work, or try going to a place that serves cuisine from your country and is run by people from there and explain the situation to them and maybe they would let you work under the table.

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