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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

Dropped out of college, how the fuck do I start having fun again?

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- Mon, 17 Jun 2019 20:18:09 EST Je9nm5wp No.529903
File: 1560817089668.gif -(1604714B / 1.53MB, 500x288) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dropped out of college, how the fuck do I start having fun again?
I partied my way right out of school and completely ruined my life but I haven't learned my lesson and all I want to do is get right back to where I left off. Right now I'm jobless and living alone in a house owned by my extended family with absolutely nothing to do living in a completely different state.

Obviously I need to get a part time job and I'm going back to school online at community college, but I want to start having fun and doing drugs again instead of just drinking by myself.

Is it socially acceptable to go to bars, clubs, and concerts on your own? I don't know what it's like to be this isolated. I only managed to have a wide circle of friends in an environment where literally everybody wants to be your friend if you aren't a sperglord, especially if you have drugs and do a lot of them, you get this weird sort of respect from people if you can do a shit ton of drugs and drink a shit ton but in reality I was a druggie before I left high school. I know I'll never get that back but I want to go back to living my nihilistic self-destructive life, I want to have friends again, how do I do it?

I feel like I'm over thinking it, but I don't know. People of a certain nature tend to gravitate towards me and I towards them. Or at least that's how it used to be. Back when I was still in school and in my element I would basically trip over people who had drugs and all I had to do it seemed was think "man I could do with something right now" and almost subconsciously I'd find people to get fucked up with.

But I feel like a completely different person now. Is it all in my head? After being clean for a few months now I feel like I'm reverting back to the friendless weirdo I was before I started meeting people and loosening up. I feel like my normal way of meeting people by offering to smoke with them won't work because I don't have any weed or any way of getting it except traveling 2 days to the nearest state with dispensaries, which I just might do but that makes me feel like a loser who can't score.

I hate living like this.
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Walter Hosslestitch - Tue, 18 Jun 2019 15:49:47 EST Vc3Ib3Ql No.529910 Reply
So basically you self medicate your mental illness so you can function in society?

I have a lot of sympathy for that and a bit of empathy too but I hope you've exhausted other options. People get less awful as you get older and it's possible to get better at handling your own shit so you don't sabotage yourself. It's also possible that you're genuinely fucked but I feel like you might not be beyond hope or real friends. That is just a gut feeling from your words on a forum though so it's pure hunch here.

Not getting drugs is usually a function of getting old though.
Esther Sundlefere - Tue, 18 Jun 2019 18:43:30 EST fdKspsz1 No.529912 Reply
>People get less awful as you get older

Nigga, you from Mars?
Clara Pobbledock - Tue, 18 Jun 2019 22:54:09 EST VxtSuD4E No.529914 Reply
Well ok. Anyway when I dropped out of university due to mental illnesses I ended up going to community college and did something different. Met my wife there. Made friends that way. We still all got fucked up all the time but you dont need to start off with drugs

its physically impossible for me to sleep well

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- Sat, 15 Jun 2019 13:34:07 EST 2sWwtUKX No.529870
File: 1560620047889.gif -(291735B / 284.90KB, 500x309) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. its physically impossible for me to sleep well
i don't know what causes this or how do i stop it but basically whenever i'm on the verge of falling asleep my neck does this weird muscle contraction that shakes my head and bring me back to reality, almost like if my brain did it as a counter measure to keep me awake

its been going for ages now and it takes me more attempts to finally tire myself enough where i sleep without this occurrence happening
Ian Somblesedge - Sat, 15 Jun 2019 17:30:14 EST Lny7/LNo No.529871 Reply
Have you tried smoking cannabis to see what it does for you? I mean, one of the traits of cannabis is that it relaxes the muscles and it helps people sleep in general.
Clara Hollyset - Sat, 15 Jun 2019 19:15:48 EST Vc3Ib3Ql No.529873 Reply
It's not your neck, it's a hypnic jerk. They're well documented but no one is quite sure what causes them yet. If you're anxious, stressed, drinking a lot of caffeine or whatever it might be causing it. Or you might be unlucky.

I wake up a lot during the night. I think a lot of it is being a light sleeper. You just need to make sure you allot enough time to sleep and don't skip out unless you absolutely cannot avoid it.
Martha Clubbleson - Sun, 16 Jun 2019 00:52:31 EST co/4UQGc No.529879 Reply
Hey op fellow insomniac here. What the other guy said earlier that's just hypnagogic jerks. I suffer from the same thing they suck don't they? At the worst I can have them 5-6 times in a single night. The only thing that works for me without making me drowzy the next day is indica dominant shatter but I have a really high weed tolerance so I would start with indica dominant weed first.

Just feelin' bad

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- Thu, 13 Jun 2019 16:11:09 EST xIks5xaS No.529847
File: 1560456669719.png -(60798B / 59.37KB, 658x662) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Just feelin' bad
I met a woman, started to fall in love, she had feelings for me, too. She promised she wouldn't get spooked by me being a literal crazy person and abandon me, I promised her the same. We're both badly mentally ill.

She got spooked by me being a literal crazy person and abandoned me. I haven't let someone hurt me this badly in a very long time.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Emma Pocklenotch - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 03:18:12 EST JCATCBbz No.529858 Reply
Hey there. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you did something honorable in putting your truth out in the open for someone else to absorb. The fact is that you took a chance, and it didn't work out. Everyone talks the talk but their actions speak much louder than any words can. So this person wasn't ready to accept your truth and grow and develop with you based on it. That's totally OK! I'm sorry it hurts. This kind of thing happens. I want you to know that there are people out there that are ready for the kind of relationship you're looking for, you just haven't encountered them yet. What's important is to understand that you didn't do anything wrong here. Don't let this define you. I admire your opening up to this person. Just let it go, don't take it personally, and keep on trucking. You deserve and will have happiness, just keep seeking it out. Good wiggles, friend.
Albert Pickbury - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 12:23:07 EST rtmVhGTI No.529861 Reply
Thank you for your words, I appreciate it. It will get better, things even seem a bit better today.

I'm almost 30, and I've been a stunted recluse for most of my 20s, due to Problems.

Only in the last year or so have I started to figure things out, and I was sort of treating this whole experience as part of that. Something that even if it went poorly, I could hopefully use to learn and grow. I'll be able to process this into something positive, eventually, I think.

For now, you're probably right, I just have to keep moving.

Thanks again.
Fanny Hivingbock - Sat, 15 Jun 2019 07:45:54 EST 2dpbGRKS No.529867 Reply
>total loner, was perfectly fine without women in my life
>met woman and she forces herself into my life
>fall for it like a dumbass
>she leaves
>now i'm heartbroken and in need of companionship
motherfuck attachment

its so fucking hot

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- Wed, 12 Jun 2019 22:28:32 EST 2sWwtUKX No.529839
File: 1560392912897.png -(303199B / 296.09KB, 640x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. its so fucking hot
oh my god i'm gonna melt
Nicholas Dubblefare - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 01:02:55 EST Lny7/LNo No.529840 Reply
1560402175805.jpg -(75383B / 73.62KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Meanwhile it's rainy and cold as fuck here, I caught a nasty case of the flu as well. Let's fucking trade, I'd love to melt right now.
Clara Soffingpore - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 21:45:41 EST VEtOQMZ1 No.529862 Reply
my cars ac is broken and I live in Texas

Not Satisfied

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- Sat, 18 May 2019 04:37:25 EST v5b3l/HX No.529430
File: 1558168645867.jpg -(25478B / 24.88KB, 928x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Not Satisfied
I'm on deployment. This girl DMs me around the first week she got here... I had been here for 2 months by then. It took me a couple days before I have in and started hanging out. I'm 30 and she's 21.

She's immature. Not so much in the young and wild way, more in the yiung/stupid/inexperienced way. We're in the same shop and I out rank her. Not a huge problem, but she always wants to call me by first name in front of people. Or walk home together every day. Or just generally make it more obvious than it needs to be that we are fucking each other. I've told her numerous times not to be so clingy and dumb at work, she either gets an attitude or doesn't listen or both.

Now, to the sex. She says it's her IUD that lowered her libido. At this point idc If that's true or not. It's not satisfying. We have sex maybe twice a week. Maybe. I get head maybe twice a week. I've talked about it plenty, she either gets an attitude or doesn't listen or both. And she keeps doing this thing where she starts giving me head, then stops, then says "that's all you get" or "more later". 10 times out of 10 there is no more later. I told her numerous times don't do that. Just do nothing instead of you're gonna do that shit. Yet she does it the other day, yet again. Ever since then I've been very rude, mysterious, sarcastic, goofy asf, just basically shutting the fuck down.

Idk why I don't just leave her alone? I guess I don't want to see her with other dudes. Or answer questions that people may have as to why we aren't always together like usual. And the craziest part is that she acts an ass when I wanna sleep in my own bed, or not come over, or leave, or be alone, anything. She acts like she can't live without me but is a rude and immature cunt 98% of the time I'm around. Or on her phone. Or napping. I don't fucking get it.
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Doris Supperpidge - Sun, 19 May 2019 14:33:23 EST SeOiTXR9 No.529456 Reply
>I'm on deployment
>We're in the same shop but I outrank her

Jesus Luisus what am I reading
Priscilla Dummerstodge - Mon, 20 May 2019 08:34:15 EST /sFKQ047 No.529459 Reply

Yeah just keep shooting those brown people and taking your agent orange.
Priscilla Mavingsark - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 21:29:58 EST SjZXQAMA No.529854 Reply
1560475798353.jpg -(17697B / 17.28KB, 320x237) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

We have talked about this plenty. I've told her numerous times about her attitude, her response to that is "because I want you to hear/understand me". I have told her about the sex, she humors me but it never got any better. Just this morning I'm rock hard and try to make a move and she goes "I just wanna sleeep". Ok dude, whatever. The last time we has sex she just laid there as per usual, and there was no round 2.

I leave in 10 days. She keeps reinforcing this shit about us visiting each other, her waiting to see me. I know its bullshit. I wonder if she knows its bullshit. I haven't been able to figure out what this was all about... I think this was her way to avoid having sex with as many men as she did last time she was here. I'm tolerant, mild mannered, I put up with this many months of no sex and argumentative bullshit. For me it was trying to gain relationship experience that I dont have. I wasnt really using her, I just didnt have a problem with the built in termination date of me leaving here. I wish she put more effort in but I guess she did the best she could. Or at least the best she wanted to give me.

Oh well. Sucks because I dropped another girl I was talking to be exclusive with this one, and it ended up being this thoroughly lackluster experience.

Found Out a Friend is a Level 3 RSO

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- Tue, 04 Jun 2019 10:00:46 EST 8JMT0wmI No.529720
File: 1559656846555.jpg -(89428B / 87.33KB, 900x986) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Found Out a Friend is a Level 3 RSO
He was found guilty of ten charges, including rape and battery against children, in the early 90's. He always seemed like such an upstanding intellectual, great for discussing politics and ethics. What would you do if you found out your friend was a sex offender?
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Matilda Tillingdale - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 08:05:15 EST 8JMT0wmI No.529843 Reply
>Personally, If you had said "this guy was a kind and supportive friend, he'd always go the extra mile to help someone, he was always there for me" I'd be surprised
That actually describes the guy pretty well. He narcan'd over a dozen people back to life this year alone. When I was near-homeless, he was supportive, and when I needed someone to watch my little nephew for the night (jk lol)
>Are you upset because of the level 3 part or the sex offender part?
The RSO part. Level 3 makes it a little worse I guess.
So this is what I would post if I were any of you, but it's different when you've known someone for years and find out that they did something nasty, especially since they were severely mentally ill and it was 30+ years ago. Imagine one of your friends being like "hey btw I'm an RSO sorry I didn't tell you years ago." Imagine it's someone you know and trust. I mean, the guy served his time, so I feel like he's kind of payed his debt to society. On the other hand, child-abuse is pretty much impossible for me to relate to and I struggle to empathize with him, even after he served his sentence.

We had a chat the other day about it and he explained that he lives every day with crippling regret and remorse and self-loathing, so that made me feel more empathy for him. He had a heart attack two days ago, which also helped.

I imagine he'll always be attracted to teen boys, but I guess if he doesn't act on it, there's a noble restraint to it, like that pedo rabbi who never diddled anyone and then told the world on his death bed that he served God by not letting his pedo-ness make him abuse any kids.

Anyway, I just made this thread because I wanted to discuss the situation a bit. I've never had to deal with a friend being an RSO and I thought I might get some interesting perspective here. Thanks for the discussion.
Martin Dattingwidge - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 19:57:40 EST fJyaqqmi No.529853 Reply
I had a friend who turned out to be a child pornographer and went to prison, the scumbag got to stay in the medical ward the whole time due to having diabetes and he's out now. I immediately cut him out of my life completely when I found out, as any decent rational person would do. This is a no-brainer & I really hope OP is just shitposting.
Cornelius Masslefoot - Sun, 16 Jun 2019 07:47:31 EST BsMDZL1i No.529885 Reply
If you like the guy you can always keep tabs on him for the greater good. Being his friend might prevent him doing something bad.

I'd ask him for an explanation though

the usual fag emo shit

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- Mon, 10 Jun 2019 02:24:02 EST hiKxQg3e No.529807
File: 1560147842673.jpg -(40641B / 39.69KB, 480x210) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. the usual fag emo shit
so like
there are these insecure straight boys who dont understand what dressing like a crackhead means and like hip hop and guido shit, you know, snooki and the boardwalk kinda shit

i'm actually totally ok with them but i what I dont get is the hate they bring for not hating on gays and just interacting with gay people like you would anybody else

if an elderly flirtatious woman winks at me I wink back same with gays im not interested in

i dont get why men get so fucking competitive about this shit and insecure and shit. if you getting pussy every night regardless like who gives a fuck. i'm tired of having to front all this pussy game on account of these people I just want to flirt with my side hoes, smoke weed and bang my woman. why is this such a big deal to other wannabe hood gangstas especially white immigrant boys
9 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Matilda Tillingdale - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 08:09:59 EST 8JMT0wmI No.529844 Reply
>what I dont get is the hate they bring for not hating on gays and just interacting with gay people like you would anybody else
Some people are just gay-haters OP. It's good that we're straight men who aren't like tha-
>if an elderly flirtatious woman winks at me I wink back same with gays im not interested in
>same with gays im not interested in
A sexy milf is one thing- 60 is the new 40 and all- but nigga you gay if you winking back at gay men. And don't pretend it's about social courtesy and norms, because no gay man has any social expectation for straight men to return their affectionate winks. You do you though OP.
Graham Singerhudging - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 09:56:51 EST Je9nm5wp No.529845 Reply
I can't imagine winking at someone I thought was straight, I don't want to get my ass beat.

OP, maybe you need to think about some things.
Nicholas Dubblefare - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 15:33:44 EST Lny7/LNo No.529846 Reply
>same with gays im not interested in
>OP is implying there are gays he IS interested in
>Probably explains his frustration with his bros hating on gay people
Yo OP you bisexual as fuck at least. You a ho.

motherfuckin barred from professional work but dont really care

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- Fri, 26 Apr 2019 10:53:51 EST hiKxQg3e No.528980
File: 1556290431879.jpg -(148619B / 145.14KB, 847x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. motherfuckin barred from professional work but dont really care
OK so here's how it is. I have an arrest for graffiti and a claim that I resisted (I didn't but you know how it is, you crack a joke in the squad car out of boredom and that's how it goes if the cop isn't cool). I also have an arrest for drug possession but completed rehab and don't care really.

The big problem is.. I work in a skilled trade that requires work at an office. I know why they won't hire me. I even went into a really nice big tech company and got the full welcoming treatment, but had to stop them and explain about what they'd find on a background check. A lawyer says he can't get it all expunged, but maybe in several years. I've basically given up and think it's a good thing because I'd rather be a musician or fucktard artist anyway, but the problem is, I'm encountering pressure from relatives and other people in my community to pursue professional work, who don't understand why I don't, and I need a quick, dirty way to tell them off that doesn't expose too much vulnerability. I have a means of supporting myself financially. It doesn't make as much as my skilled trade but I don't care about that, freedom is better.

How do I deal with "polite people" who go out of their way to hurt my feelings about not being employed in my previous trade and prevent them from interfering in commercial artistic pursuits?
12 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Fuck Sussleket - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 01:35:15 EST q2fK/qtX No.529824 Reply
Does your state allow you to seal your record? I can seal a felony in about 8 more years.
Of course I had a cwaf.

A better way to deal with beefs

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- Sat, 08 Jun 2019 21:11:06 EST hiKxQg3e No.529780
File: 1560042666105.jpg -(34216B / 33.41KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. A better way to deal with beefs
So, basically, if you are banned from most kinds of social media and yet still have beefs that follow you in real life, how can you communicate to people beefing with you that you are aware of their bullshit and effectively send the message that means they need to stop or else without disrupting a bunch of fat nerds who like calarts animation and avatar fagging and get their panties in a bunch about it? Like sending a letter with no return address? Is that too old school? Just drop it in the blue box and dont get caught on camera?
10 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:40:20 EST hiKxQg3e No.529802 Reply
Excuse me gentlemen, a disturbed and mentally ill gentleman relayed to be a rather confused story last night but it was apparent from his state that he was in trouble with the law and attempting to avoid detection by the police. In an effort to keep people from the north east comfortable we will speak with the white Canadian newscaster voice.
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:41:25 EST hiKxQg3e No.529803 Reply
San francisco beef is the real san francisco treat and you're lookin at'em
Jarvis Murdstone - Mon, 10 Jun 2019 08:59:16 EST hiKxQg3e No.529816 Reply
  • Beef is not African-American vernacular. The roots of this term actually originate in white gangs in New York in the 1930s and it was since integrated into the common black dialect.

I'm Commiitting Suicide Tonight

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- Sat, 08 Jun 2019 17:32:44 EST AssLy90c No.529777
File: 1560029564932.jpg -(3782B / 3.69KB, 180x180) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I'm Commiitting Suicide Tonight
Hey, been a long time since I've posted on here. I'm very depressed and plan on committing suicide later tonight using difluroethane. It's the most common propellant/hydroflurocarbon used in compressed air aerosol cans.

Basically I'm giving myself sudden sniffer's death syndrome. Now, I'm very concerned. Somebody with decent knowledge, please tell me.

How painful is it? I believe my heart may actually explode. I'm very nervous. Please give me a little more information.

I enjoy the high difluoroethane causes, but will the intoxication still be pleasant at that concentration? Will It numb the pain?

I've read the asphyxiation is very painful. Somebody please help me.
6 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Emma Pittworth - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:16:46 EST 4l8RYu1T No.529799 Reply
He should absolutely not kill himself, but fuck off with your pathetic pseudo intellectual atheism shit
Hedda Bedgelock - Mon, 10 Jun 2019 07:59:43 EST yUhAjzvV No.529815 Reply
don't kill yourself if you're afraid of some super temporary immediate pain, jesus christ. either do it and get it over with or don't. you're not going to be around long enough to give a fuck about the pain so who cares if it hurts for a minute and a half or not.

if you can't stomach that kind of shit, then quit being an annoying little faggot and quit kidding yourself into believing you're capable of going through with suicide because all you're doing is hurting yourself more and hurting people around you and generally just being disgustingly pathetic.

*ting ting*

Locked View Thread Reply
- Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:34:49 EST tehNWUNR No.529800
File: 8.jpg -(80085B / 78.21KB, 666x69) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. *ting ting*
Jarvis Murdstone - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 22:38:41 EST hiKxQg3e No.529801 Reply
aww yea bitch we kickin down the door and smokin crack

Am I a dumbass, or just a creep? (or both?)

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- Fri, 07 Jun 2019 19:15:54 EST rRCczUYu No.529763
File: 1559949354169.jpg -(104504B / 102.05KB, 600x601) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Am I a dumbass, or just a creep? (or both?)
This food joint opened up down the block from me not too long ago and their halal food is really fucking good, so I eventually became a regular there while getting the same type of order every time which was made by some older guy who I assumed was the owner, if not the manager.

About two months ago he hired some younger woman who look like she's about my age, and for a while when I'd enter the diner I'd notice getting a glance or two from her while I was looking at my phone, which could mean anything right?

After a while she was in the kitchen and started to make order I'd always get, and when she first started doing it she used the same recipe as the older guy and would just normally ask me how much sauce I wanted until just a few weeks ago, and I'd always get a lot of hot sauce on my food. Whatever, right?

A few weeks ago I noticed that whenever I'd walk into the deli, she'd make a b-line straight to the kitchen even while the older guy who used to make my food would be behind the counter. I eventually noticed that she started putting extra ingredients in the food I ordered like diced green peppers, and extra spices that made it legitimately taste better, but it was only when she made the food. When it was the old guy, it was the same stuff I'd always get.

When eventually puts the white and hot sauce on my food, she'd put around the perfect amount of white sauce I'd usually ask for every time while giving a light drizzle of the hot sauce before looking back up at me from the food, waiting for me to ask for her to keep going. This would continue every time I'd go there when she made the food, and I started noticing that she started to give me a slight smile whenever I asked her to put more of the hot sauce, which she'd drizzle before I asked her to keep squirting more on there every time I'd get the same damn order.

At first I thought she was smiling because she thinks I'm trying to be hot shit by getting extra hot sauce as if I think that I have an iron stomach or whatever, but two days ago while she asked I ended up cracking a smile which for some reason made her giggle. I assumed she giggled because we were so used to the routine, but I don't really know because I'm shitty with body language.

Today I went in and the guy ended up making the food, but she lingered around where I was sitting for a while, and really seemed to be taking her time as if she was waiting for me to say something to her. After working retail I knew it was common for the my women co-workers to not take kindly being oogled at or spoken to personally by some creepy ass nigga while they're trying to do their job, and this deli worker/shopkeep could just be a really charming woman who just happens to be a damn good cook.

I want to talk to her but she could just be doing her damn job, and I'm pretty sure that I'm overthinking things but I've had a history of being an oblivious motherfucker before. What do I do about this uneasy feeling, /QQ/?
4 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Phineas Blackwell - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 04:22:44 EST +s+a5IEh No.529772 Reply
It's accepted in society, he's right.

Doesn't mean they actually do it though. Yeah, if you sit around waiting for a woman to make a move you're going to wait a long time. If you work super hard on yourself, make a load of friends who are ladies and some are single and straight one might make a move every now and then. It happens. Just don't count on it.
John Cobbleridge - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 19:13:59 EST rRCczUYu No.529779 Reply
I tried this by going in today, and I could've triedon her way out since her shift was apparently ending, but this motherfucking self-proclaimed shotokan grandmaster stopped me to go on about some dumb bullshit just to ask me for ten dollars while his lower lip quivered pathetically. As I'm talking to this gi wearing dopehead with medical bands around his wrist, she passed us by on her way home.

It was like a scene out of a bad sitcom, dude. I'll try again next week, but I'm going to make sure that I don't show up every day like a creepy asshole.

I'm 100% going to make sure that our first actual conversation is about how much her additions added to the food. Hopefully the manager has no hard feelings if he hears us. Or starts spitting in my food because of it.

I thought about this, but I have a lit match under my ass when it comes to this sort of shit because like I said before, I was notoriously oblivious and ended up letting a lot of opportunities pass me by. I am going to wait to try talking to her again though at least till next week, or until she gives me more of a hint than eye contact and a giggle.

I appreciate all of your helpful input, anons!
Shitting Hicklemudge - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 10:20:00 EST Y+neydc5 No.529796 Reply
Yeah, in my entire life I've had 2 women flirt with me first. One was a cougar and I was like 15 or 16. The other was just trying to piss someone off who was in present company and didn't actually give a shit about me.

Granted, I'm pretty unattractive and poor. I've seen dudes who women just are attracted to just exist and they practically throw themselves at them.


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- Thu, 06 Jun 2019 06:52:09 EST zcOU3n81 No.529748
File: 1559818329843.jpg -(59344B / 57.95KB, 720x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Stuck
Little bit of a rant here, but I mean, I'll take anything I can get too.

I'm an asian dude living in an asian country, so pretty much living with family is the norm over here. I stay with my mum (59) who's been divorced for awhile now, so it's just me, her and my 2 sisters.

My mum's pretty damn toxic, imo, but nothing intolerable and she doesn't really fuck with our lives, so it wasn't much of an issue.

However, shit hit the fan a few weeks before christmas last year and she got a stroke that hit pretty hard, because she didn't manage her hypertension and it went for awhile before anybody noticed her having a stroke as it was late at night.
She made decent progress in the coming months, from only being able to utter a few syllables and bedridden to now where she can form proper sentences in our mother tongue (mandarin) or short simple english sentences and walk for short distances with a walking aid.

Problem tho is that while I understand this is part of her stroke, her toxic bullshit has been exacerbated by the damage done to her brain. Currently, I'm home all the time to watch over her, alongside a caretaker that we have hired to watch her, but she's just been a complete bitch to the caretaker. She has been consistently been demeaning to her and refused to cooperate with her, as well as picking on all the little things that the caretaker does while expecting her needs to be met without communicating them.

This also happens to be the 2nd caretaker we've hired as the first one wasn't the best and we gave our mum the benefit of doubt whenever she'd talk shit about the first one, but now that we've hired this 2nd caretaker, she's been absolutely lovely yet my mum puts her through constant shit.

Right now I could give less of a fuck of what happens to my mum and if she died in her sleep, I'd honestly be bloody relieved, but as of today, she gave the caretaker a ridiculous verbal ass-whooping into a weeping mess over a goddamned wrinkle on pressed shorts that she didn't talk about nor wanted fixed, alongside completely twisting said caretaker's words (she's not great at english).

So she made a scene and I talked her through her shit, as much as you can with a stroke patient with aphasia, and she seemed to calm down, but she just got back at it again in the evening.

So now, the caretaker's talking about leaving, but I managed to convince her temporarily to stay for the moment as we try to improve things, even though I'm certain it's going to be completely fucked still.

Mum has consistently refused to speak to any counselors or therapists for her mood and refuses to accept her predicament, thinking she'll be magically healed from all her bullshit if she takes her fucking herbal and homeopathic medicine.

I'm at my fucking wit's end, my sisters at this point are still refusing to consider having her put in a nursing home and I highly doubt any of my relatives would be able to deal with her shit over a long term, so I'm stuck as shit, because I quit my work to take care of her before she turned out to be so crazy.

So fuck, I'll take any advice to get through this situation, but otherwise, I'm stuck waiting, for a job acceptance, for me to not weigh her constant bullshit against burning bridges with my family and moving out, for my sisters to crack so they'll send her to a home, or for her to die before she drives everyone around her crazy.

Also, I understand a lot of this is due to her condition, but that knowledge doesn't make going through all this any better or easier.

Thanks for reading this far anyway, if you have.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Doris Pablingtire - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:29:13 EST OdjfxVxG No.529765 Reply
If your sisters dont want her in a home, get another job and let them take care of her

Sorry, i didnt read carefully btw
Doris Pablingtire - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:33:03 EST OdjfxVxG No.529766 Reply
Also, if you have a caretaker, why did you have to quit work to take care of her?
Ernest Puppersare - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 05:53:15 EST zcOU3n81 No.529773 Reply

It's alright, I'm working on the job part, but as for my sisters it's quite unlikely since one of them was due to move abroad to stay with husband in Austria and the other has a better career and/or career opportunities than I do. So we're all pretty lost if my mum keeps screwing with the caretaker.

As for the caretaker, well, there was a period of time after she was discharged where I had to train the first caretaker a little, before we decided she wasn't capable of learning how things were done in the house aside from personality issues. So I was pretty much playing the caretaker's role all the while only up until last month, whereby the replacement we got was much more suitable and could function without supervision.

So yeah, thanks for the reply but looking back, it's really more of a rant since I'm just waiting for something to work out for myself, so I can put some distance between me and this whole mess.

How do I work up the courage to finally off myself

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- Thu, 06 Jun 2019 02:06:57 EST IIPdlASs No.529744
File: 1559801217177.jpg -(90252B / 88.14KB, 720x944) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How do I work up the courage to finally off myself
Like I swear, all the times I’ve tried I backed out at the last minute like a little bitch like I don’t get it do I have to be drunk or maybe if I take two Benadryls and do it I won’t feel a thing or what
Hannah Fashshaw - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 03:37:56 EST JCATCBbz No.529746 Reply
>Two pinklets
That's nowhere near enough to end you but sure is enough to make you wish you were dead even moreso. Anyway killing yourself is frightening. At least overtly doing it is. A lot of the folks here enjoy the passive-aggressive suicide route of alcohol and drugs also anime . Don't feel bad about falling. Personally I think regardless of how fucked up you get you're still going to know you're dying right when it happens. Honestly though don't fuck around. You can change things if you want to. A lot of the time there are escape paths you can't see without another set of eyes. At the very least you have this lovely community to rap with. I hope you start wanting to feel better.
Shit Wibberville - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 11:55:42 EST yUhAjzvV No.529749 Reply
why dont you work up the courage to actually legitimately try and succeed in life and get better? too hard when compared to the option of just offing yourself or what? maybe you're just destined to fail at everything; can't work up the courage to improve and succeed, and can't work up the courage to off yourself either. fuck, you're a mess man.

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