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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter

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- Wed, 31 Jul 2019 00:08:01 EST NrPFGDzD No.530696
File: 1564546081676.jpg -(23818B / 23.26KB, 256x182) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter
> bunk bed in a single big room full of 30 or so homeless people
> no phone use permitted
> no talking
> everyone farting, coughing, sneezing, etc. all night
> complete disregard of all manners or class
> everyone is either mentally ill or an old drunk
> staff are cool, but get mean since these people fucking suck
> again, constant showings of unhealthy living by everyone in the room
> dirty looks from bitter old people for even pretending to be happy about my life
I am so lost right now.

Trying to do better than my best every single day. I just moved back where I spent all my schoolyears from across the country after a two year leave. Haven’t found stability since returning just yet. Kind of wanted a tasted of the struggle, this is just unbelievable.

I have friends who told me to come back and things would be easier with all of them, but nobody stayed in touch like they said. Cant blame anyone but myself you know.

One friend does, though, who lent me a bike, another lent me a backpack since I lent him thousands of dollars before I moved. People in my life still give a shit. I have people here assuming I work here not stay here. I get mistaken as an employee or official who knows what’s going on in places I have no affiliations.

I know this is not where I am meant to be
and I know I have more potential than this
I got here because I aimed to and now I aim to get out.
I can do this. It’s just so hard. I use earbuds to block most of this out

I dont wanna go to girls in my life like this, I dont wanna go to anybody like this, and even if I did I still haven’t yet landed a stable job. I start my next one tomorrow at friendly’s, another interview for stocking Aug. 2nd and can land interviews like Im walking a dog.

I just cant seem to make people stop hating me so much because I am young and stupid and in my mid 20s looking like I think I know it all, but I cant help it I need to be confident in myself during this. I walk into the TV room here and its like Ares the God Of War just walked in, drawing the worst out of people without a word. Some people approach me for healing and guidance, like they’re so delighted to hear from me or be in my presence and yet others are infuriated and wanna break me down.

I dont know why I wrote this. Thats all for now.
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Edwin Grimhall - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:19:11 EST yUhAjzvV No.530797 Reply
Sounds like you're taking your self and your abilities too seriously man. I'm basically the same way at work with wanting to be the best, but I rarely compare myself to anybody else on the line at the factory I work in (usually because I'm clearly better if for no other fact that I care enough to do my job quickly and correctly all night long (work 11 hour night shifts). Since the attrition rate at this place is retarded, the fact I've been here and regularly do multiple different jobs a night I've had more time to actually get that good skill wise on top of having motivation. Honestly, there's no point in comparing myself with anybody on the line unless I'm after self-aggrandizement or am doing it to try rationalizing to myself I should be mad at the others for not working as hard as me.

I find both of those reasons are retarded. The need to self-aggrandize, especially in public, isn't a show of confidence, it's a show of insecurity. I really don't care how good I am for any other reason than I feel like doing less than that is unacceptable. It's pathetic weak entitled bullshit unless you happen to be legitimately sick or have some kind of injury.'

Now, tbe second reason for comparing myself for others is just to come up with an excuse for why I can be mad at others that has a legitimate sounding reason behind it. I find this it the more pathetic and slimy of the two, because it's inherently self-aggrandizing, promotes being a condescending fuck wit nobody is going to like (and for good reason), and on top of that you're so uncomfortable in your own skin and how you actually feel that in order to express your anger for others you have to come up with some gay ass pretext do it with---which again shows insecurity because a fear that others won't validate your feelings on their own merit so you come up with a bullshit one they really can't argue with,

Overall, I think comparing yourself to others, except in very specific situations where you find somebody has come along you're actually able to learn something from and now you need to master that too, is a behavior that signifies arrogance more often than confidence.

Now, considering I'm pretty confident with my work performance and everything, I don't view or treat others condescendingly based solely on how or work ethics and abilities stack up with one another, and I don't go around acting super great and soaking it up when people ask about how to do something. I mean, like I said, people quit so often here that being here for 2 years just means I've been around enough that I can probably answer questions they have. It doesn't mean they're looking up to me or some weird power fantasy fanfic shit you wrote there at the end.

Lastly, most important to note, everybody I know of at work likes me, and I'm pretty confident in my abilities. Why do you think you're hated by half of the people? There's a guy on my line who's okay but thinks he's better than he is and he gets mad at others' problems a lot, and people go around calling him an arrogant fuck because he's kinda being one. Usually if I can help people I do, because I feel like I'm good enough and been there long enough that if I didn't help, I'd be a fucking shit bag.

So in other words, despite being totally confident in my work ethic and ability to perform, I help people out all the time when it's possible and nobody would otherwise expect me to and I literally can't think of the last time I've spoken aloud about how good I am at a job I do on the line that didn't involve training a new hire and assuring them that the job they got is pretty easy in a few days while giving a few comparisons to other jobs that suck even when you;re good or fast at them. In other words, I can't think of a single time I've ever bragged.

Given your OP, I'm going to guess you're probably known to either brag a lot of the time or shit on others you deem as being below you because they aren't as good as you... which really just translates to getting away with doing less work for the same amount of pay and at the end of the day and especially outside of work nobody gives shit about anything that happens there. Your problem seems to be you literally see a lot of people as being below you, making you arrogant rather than confident. Check it out man, this…
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Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:10:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530802 Reply
>>530796
There is a term for what you are doing, and it's not a good one. Some call it slumming. Others call it punching down. Whatever the term that may be applied, there is a clear implication. You are not on a path of enlightenment or character-building. Rather, you are attempting to convince yourself of your character by putting yourself in positions where you know in the back of your mind that you're ahead of the curve. This is not building character, but punching down. You're reinforcing your preconceptions and prejudices whether consciously or unconsciously, and it's certainly not opening up your mind or your heart. If I was entirely wrong, then you would not show the slightest bit of defensiveness. However, you are. You're unsure, you're unsteady, and you're lacking self-esteem. I believe that confidence that is entirely fabricated on flimsy pretenses is destined to crumble, and you will buckle under the pressure of hard life decisions as you have time and time again.
>>
Molly Hushson - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 17:51:17 EST SLZ94LIZ No.530810 Reply
>>530796
I'm not you, but for what it's worth I did something quite like this, too. Moved across the country, took up a shitty job. I wasn't cut out for it. I wasn't of the same social standing as my coworkers. I'm still figuring life out, but there's no reason to aim low.

Online Life Mixing With Real Life?

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- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 18:58:00 EST FO3wrxBb No.530689
File: 1564527480472.jpg -(12302B / 12.01KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Online Life Mixing With Real Life?
I've been trying dating/hookup apps like Tinder and Bumble this summer. I haven't had much come of it except that I've been running across girls from school/work from time to time.

The school is a fairly competitive grad school. Nothing too harsh but definitely not a place where everyone is best friends.

Initially, I haven't thought much of it, but I'm wondering if a few of them have noticed. One definitely did notice after we matched, and was pretty chill about it, while another from school seemed more negative about it in general. I also met one of my matches through a co-worker and didn't realize it until the month after.

I'm taking a break from all that as I go back to grad school, but I'm wondering if I've changed some girls' impression of me just by being on those apps, or if there might be any repercussions or opportunities that might flow from it. I'll probably just go on with my life as usual unless something comes up.

Any thoughts on what to expect, or on similar experiences?
18 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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George Buzzfield - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:02:07 EST Lny7/LNo No.530807 Reply
>>530803
So how's your relationship lately? Any recent fights? You freaking Hallmark card reject.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:17:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530808 Reply
>>530807
Whoever you're hoping to talk to through me, you're inevitably going to get disappointed by. The truth is that whoever you're talking to isn't even thinking about you, and that I bothered to even reply to you.
>>
Fanny Dartbury - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 08:09:15 EST 2CPjhMYX No.530844 Reply
>>530803
>>530807
You're both retards

>>530803
You know that business can make profit and still provide benefit right? The pizza place makes money when they sell me a slice but i still benefit for having pizza. Those apps can exist both for shareholders and sexual deviants.

>>530807
dont get so mad bro

>>530801
I get what your saving here tho. It is nice to have a stoner girl, but its also fucking hard to get a stoner girl. My experience of modern gals is that they can be annoying, self centered huge cunts.

Also this guy already finished this thread.

>>530690

How to break it off with girls I sleep with?

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 04:42:44 EST meKKp2Ju No.530794
File: 1564994564603.png -(247592B / 241.79KB, 487x447) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How to break it off with girls I sleep with?
So, over the past few months I've been nasty as fuck and have been using tinder and bumble regularly to pick up women. As of now there are 3 girls I see on a weekly basis and they all think they're the only one. I told them Im not really trying to be in a relationship but all of them keep trying to push that on me.

The other day I met a very very attractive girl who messaged me through facebook. Talked with her on the phone a bit, she's hispanic like me, she has the exact same political views, same religious views, same moral views, and her sense of humor is amazing and she's an RN that's in school to become an ARNP. I say I'm a christian but don't really practice Christianity but she's a very devout christian who goes weekly to church. Needless to say I see her as a girl who I can actually have a future with who isn't a total skank and is actually a decent person. I admitted to her that I was talking to other people and that I'd promptly end it with them and she admitted she was talking to someone too and would also end it because we both appear to really like eachother and want to work towards having a relationship together.

My problem basically is that I'm too concerned with hurting people's feelings. I know ending contact with them and telling them why is going to definitely hurt some feelings and cause me to experience some backlash.

How should I go about this? I know this is dumb but I'm not good at stuff like this.
>>
Esther Buzzstock - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 09:08:39 EST lO2GsrM3 No.530795 Reply
>>530794
honesty cannot fail you

tell the truth no sugarcoating
times like this a man has to be stern

trust your self and let the truth defend itself. Speak it, let them be, validate whatever they respond with kindly and break it off.
>>
Matilda Hingerdale - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:50:07 EST A8m11hb5 No.530798 Reply
>>530794
I think that you've got to try to have as much sex as you can with all of them and live your 30s in a cloud of regret.

How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 09:13:02 EST c/uAObnR No.530669
File: 1564492382134.jpg -(110208B / 107.62KB, 960x682) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
So, I had a shit past long story short. I suppose I still feel bad for myself and can't quit my self pity.

I always used to get angry that only the popular and attractive are afforded these luxuries. I'd say I was borderline pimp mentality without the virginity. I didn't understand. I was always pushing to do the right thing by securing an income, earning an education, planning a future, and trying to find my way to serve society. I was always angry nobody wanted anything to do with me, and yet chad down at the gas station, slinging crack, just gets to have 4 kids he'll never want anything to do with.
I realize now that this is a shitty way to feel, and perceive things. While I kind of meant it as a "how long do I need to suffer" feeling, it became more of a "I'm entitled" post.
Nobody is entitled to anything, not even life. People are born to suffer and die early deaths from a number of diseases and conditions. I should be grateful and content that I breathe, think, and speak. I deserve nothing else.
I know this... Logically... But I don't truly feel this way.

I get crushed thinking about all my missed opportunities, a childhood I will never get to have, a mentor to learn from, long time friends, missed chances in relationships. However I can't find myself feeling grateful. I mean, I know I should be grateful, but I can't inherently feel grateful for simply breathing and being able to think (let alone an able body).

Has anyone struggled with similar dilemmas?


Pic semi-related. Kind of how I view the state of my mind and feelings, and looking to enter Chad training for believing what I know.
13 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Jarvis Duckwater - Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:23:21 EST NmYXrgWM No.530749 Reply
>>530741
You're not impressing anyone with your lack of knowledge of popular culture.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Sun, 04 Aug 2019 23:22:04 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530785 Reply
>>530669
>How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
Through action.
All of those things are things that you have to earn.
You can start by building a foundation of trust. If you are hurting people in your life or anonymous strangers on the internet, stop it immediately.
Don't obsess about why you do it; simply stop doing it.
You will have the rest of your life to understand why you think and act the way you do long after you've wrecked your life by continuing to do it.

There is a reason you are not yet your grateful for your thoughts and behaviors. Change those, and you will become grateful.
It's very simple.

Abuse and Neglect

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- Sun, 28 Jul 2019 17:45:35 EST DLJORGeq No.530649
File: 1564350335001.jpg -(14334B / 14.00KB, 525x258) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Abuse and Neglect
Anyone else neglected or abused? My dad menaced me and put his hands on me, used to pin me up against the wall up in the air at his eye level. He kept the house like a hoarder house, and he defended it like that. It's not like people didn't know either, family and occasionally friends saw how I lived and nobody said anything. He was so constantly drunk and high he couldn't keep a job and never filed taxed. I normalized a lot of behaviors I shouldn't have.
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Sidney Buzzlelock - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 07:31:50 EST UelVVgpu No.530715 Reply
1564659110352.jpg -(31422B / 30.69KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Dad
>primary caretaker from birth
>choked my 14-year-old sister unconscious in front of me
>called me pathetic, sniveling, an embarrassment etc if I cried over a sprained ankle or a dead animal
>beat my mom and tried to rape her with me in the house
>abandoned the family when I was 10 despite having raised me, then never called or checked in even on birthdays

Mom
>told me it was okay to let me date/sleep over with an adult as a preteen because she "didn't think he'd make a move right away"
>swings between berating me and threatening me with being put away and saying I'm the only thing that makes her life worthwhile
>still tracking me on GPS at age 23--one time I let it slip for a few hours and she drove to my house several counties away and broke in
>has told me she thinks about her kids when she has sex

just as some examples of the cray cray (there's a lot more, and other abuse--molestation, bullying, medical). I wouldn't have said I was abused until a few years ago though (I'm now 28), speaking of normalizing.

I grew up into a bit of a mess--autoimmune problems (from stress probably), severe PTSD, covered in scars, dated violent people, drug problems, psych hospitalized a lot, chronically suicidal, permanently dissociated, memory problems. I'm crawling out of it now though, so I think it's possible. Haven't talked to my mom in three years (she doesn't even know what city I live in), going to try to work, managing my own affairs.
>>
Frederick Greenham - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:21:20 EST vFDzrbdS No.530717 Reply
>>530715
In the first days of going online before the web started, every kid had a story like this. It was what brought everyone together.

Gaslighting?

View Thread Reply
- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 06:08:36 EST DoK4cjeL No.530665
File: 1564481316561.jpg -(17628B / 17.21KB, 415x738) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Gaslighting?
I think my partner may be gaslighting me. When I speak to him about issues he always tells me that I am just being insecure and offers no real advice. I know I have some minor issues with anxiety but he applies it to every day issues that are not to do with my self worth. What do I do about it? We have been together for many years and have a family together.
>>
Basil Chunningchedge - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 08:19:27 EST 74/lHxSF No.530666 Reply
What are your issues?

Also, don't make your partner your only source of intimacy. It's a conflict of interest sometimes.

Getting Organized

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- Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:31:05 EST GC9ZQBos No.530661
File: 1564399865675.jpg -(67701B / 66.11KB, 886x509) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Getting Organized
Nevermind the laundry lost of other hangups due to a traumatic upbringing, what ultimately fucks me up is extreme procrastination and neglect of practical stuff around the house, going through a pattern of being relatively well organized and gradually slipping into chaos and disorganization, rinse and repeat.

Come to think of it, I'm probably repeating this cycle because that's what I grew up with at home and in some weird way I freak out when things are too orderly for too well.

Either way, I'm sick and tired of this mess and will cowboy up and have a serious go at uncluttering, gonna fill a suitcase with things I don't need now and store it away, gonna fill a box with stuff to throw out or give away.

I guess I'm making this thread because I desperately need some sort of accountability and maybe someone will get motivated to get shit done as well. Will report back with progress.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Charlotte Bardham - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 13:35:09 EST BsjxQkWc No.530677 Reply
>>530661
I can't keep my shit clean, I am terrible at cleaning and lazy. But what I found was that just trying to make things less dirty was easier. I'd just think "I'll just do this and this, it's not much it helps" and often do much more because once you're started it's easier to keep going. But even then it's easier to clean more if instead of trying to complete this mammoth impossible unending task you're just doing a little work to improve things.
>>
Basil Dellymadging - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 16:28:29 EST /NhOIi62 No.530683 Reply
>>530677

YES! This actually works to some degree, like get the ball rolling and build momentum.

Family trouble

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- Fri, 26 Jul 2019 08:21:29 EST A6h79yQ4 No.530612
File: 1564143689310.jpg -(4824B / 4.71KB, 293x172) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Family trouble
Hi
Long story short my mom discovered she had breast cancer a few years ago and she went through the chemo and all the process and it was tough on everyone etc...
then she was getting better and "beat" it.... but after a while became very deppressed and didnt do much stayed at home alot, until my dad convinced her to see a psychologist and after a few sessions she went to a psychiatrist and got pills of a nature i dont know about and neither approve of but im not medically trained and i couldnt bother to argue with them about it because its been tough already and i didnt want to influence her... just "let the proffesionals do their job" kinda thing...

Thats in a nutshell..
recently she has been up and about, which is good, but also she has like outbursts of anger and shes just acting very strange, talking much more and kind of over-hyper, as well as plain hateful towards my dad and i dont really recognize her...
she does reckless things like drive out by herself and walk about with no water or cover (its hot here)... stuff like that.

its possible the drug needs to be changed or tuned down or changed?
she quit the psychologist sessions because of "feeling better"
the psychiatrist seems to just prescribe and not give a fuck how it affects, which is ridiculous but maybe its just how it works..
Its impossible to talk to her about it
because shes very defensive and has accused my dad that hes the one in need of help and not her,
and if someone brings it up she can scream and accuse and get really angry and victimized (my father is trying to ask close relatives to talk to her)
she wont even talk to her mom, she used to talk to her alot....

she acts like all is normal when i see her.
dont know what to do she literally wont hear a word my dad says
we cant force her it needs to come from her
what do
17 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Alice Pockshit - Sun, 28 Jul 2019 07:28:25 EST loFqoohq No.530641 Reply
>>530612
sorry read through it but forgot that it was some type of cancer medication.

Too high onDXM/Etizolam/ and hydrocodone.

Hello

Locked Banned View Thread Reply
- Fri, 26 Jul 2019 19:33:40 EST b7REUSTl No.530623
File: 1564184020194.png -(9579B / 9.35KB, 250x250) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Hello
Hello, I hope you are well, I write here because some friends suggested that maybe I could get some help in this forum. I am from Venezuela, unfortunately for those who do not know, Venezuela is experiencing a very serious crisis in the economic, social and health situation. every day things get more difficult in our country and it is very difficult to survive day by day. nevertheless the Venezuelans are fighters and we like to continue trying to obtain some opportunity. but we have reached a point, at least in my case where we are already running out of ideas. I do not know what to do. Simply, that's why I copy in this forum trying to get suggestions that I can make through the internet to get money. Venezuela is experiencing a terrible crisis that apparently is not going to change soon, this is getting harder every day and the level of corruption and communism is growing by leaps and bounds, leaving all Venezuelans who live on a minimum salary with crossed arms to Bring bread to our homes. This communism has finished with shops, families, homes, food and much more. The only thing we have left is the internet as an alternative means of obtaining money along with the Bitcoin cryptocurrency that has been of great support for many Venezuelans. I hope to receive suggestions on the subject I would like to know the opinion of other people and who can suggest me what types of work I can find on the net, Thanks for your time.

BTC XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxx

This post was edited by DrWorm on 27-07-2019 05:10:32
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Matilda Gankinville - Sat, 27 Jul 2019 01:48:05 EST loFqoohq No.530627 Reply
>>530623
>>530623

Hola hermano Venezolano..

Soy mexicano pero tambien americano y yo se que muchos de tu gente esta teniendo muchos problemas.

Por que no tratas de jugar un juego llamado RUNESCAPE.

Muchos de tus hermanos de tu pais lo juegan y accumulan ORO or (GOLD PIECES/ GP) en el juego y lo venden por dinero. Se que muchos de la gente que hace "farm gold" hacen mas dinero jugando un juego en el internet que trabajando como burro aya.

RUNEScape is a good game.

Look up monkey farming methods. Log in and farm that gold. Sell and get paid bro.

You'll make more playing video games from the comfort of your own home than you will working a real job with how fucked your economy is.

What do you got to loose? You just need a semi cheap computer and internet, and paying for memebrship but that is easy to do with in game gold. and doesn't cost too much 6-10$ per month.

Bad roommate

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 06:06:44 EST uA3i9PDo No.530590
File: 1563962804939.jpg -(62385B / 60.92KB, 720x540) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Bad roommate
>move in with dude May 1st
>I’ve been living on my own for 10 years and he never moved out of his moms
>he gets into some bs argument with his mom and blocks her
>she calls my landlord to get ahold of him

That was the first strike. She called my landlord to start some drama so she could get ahold of my roommate. Cussed out my landlord that our stove was broken which I was already working on getting fixed

>tonight
>I’m working 60 yard lawn install landscaping
>keep in mind my roommate washes dishes 3 times a week and I work 2 jobs landscaping and delivering pizzas, he has money from dead father and I’m consistently broke
>go to bed at 10, wake up at 3
>music blaring, put some clothes on and stumble out of my room
>there’s 3 niggas I’ve never seen before and 2 bitches
>bitches are twerkin, both smell like complete shit and have dreadlocks
>one of the niggas tells me he’s on acid
>it’s now 5
>I gotta wake up in an hour for work and these people are all coked out and shit

Yo I got this dudes rent money. Should I just like abandon this apartment and run away to go see tipper with his rent money? I got like $800, about 10 hits of acid and an eighth of shrooms, a car with 200k miles, a terrible credit score, a bunch of credit cards that are about to bounce, and basically nothing. Everyone in my family has completely given up hope on me. I could steal his ghetto blaster on the way out and flip it for an easy $3-500. I’m at wits end and this is just too crazy
1 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Nathaniel Clattingfoot - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 08:16:39 EST uA3i9PDo No.530592 Reply
>>530591
I’ve known this dude for years. I moved in with him because I’m broke as shit and he has money because of his fathers death. He doesn’t have anyone that would come kill me, he’s just gonna call the police and they’re not gonna do shit because I live in the fucking hood.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 10:48:21 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530593 Reply
What do you gain from posting this shit here? If it really happened the way you say it happened you're a fucking dunce. Clean up your mess.
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Edwin Brookhood - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 13:01:00 EST E508VR5x No.530596 Reply
1563987660298.jpg -(38944B / 38.03KB, 360x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Follow your dreams, OP

Technical term

View Thread Reply
- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 05:05:45 EST hiKxQg3e No.530589
File: 1563959145958.jpg -(148125B / 144.65KB, 1200x808) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Technical term
For something like oppositional defiant disorder but for adults, maybe some kind of personality disorder? I absolutely hate being told to do something. It's not simple contrarianism. If I wanted to do it and somebody ordered me, I'd still do it, I'd just be annoyed. I absolutely hate not being the boss of my own work but I don't really like bossing people around. I hate cliques with hierarchies, and I hate it when people who are friends don't want to be equals in most ways (of course, if you're better at football, I better recognize it and vice versa.)

Is this normal?
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:36:41 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530603 Reply
>>530597
Or maybe you need to go outside your comfort zone. Maybe you need practice letting someone else lead and being mindful of their faults and imperfections in order to contextualize your own leadership and recognizing that you are similarly fallible.
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Nigel Blurrybut - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:57:42 EST I9kRwl6G No.530604 Reply
>>530589
There's a line between being a bit grumpy and have a disorder.

I think I sympathise or outright empathise with a lot of what you're saying but it depends how easily it winds you up. Even in a fair functional society you will frequently be junior to someone else in many regards, often many different people. I work with a bunch of managers who have to give actual orders to people and in the end they make the decisions but there's some areas they cede to me because I am the specialist. My actual "boss" never tells me to do stuff, he always asks. The expectation and social contract is that if it's a reasonable request I'll do it but manners are free (except time, this is why some of my managers give orders rather than say "can you do this", they work in time critical life or death situations). The "boss" in a functioning hierarchy is a) only in charge in that context and b) has the bigger picture knowledge. At "Higher" levels they become increasingly generalist, while they cede to the experts like me, they make the final call because they have the bigger picture. it's their job to understand that and they can do so in a way the various people who feed them information and act on their behalf can't. Someone has to organise those people.

You obviously can put your head down when you need to, so if your life was on the line you can suck it up so it's not that bad.

Maybe you have a disorder. If you can get over it well enough to function day to day with a few adjustments and little misery it's fine. If you find even just being asked to do stuff by people who should be asking you to do stuff will stress you out then yes, something isn't right.

Having said we need a hierarchy, even if it's situational, for a functioning society I do think people who want to lead just to lead are often not to be trusted. Sometimes people just need the money, or no one else will do it, sometimes they want to make a change or because they mastered every other challenge and are bored (my manager's manager's manager might end up a CEO or something if she doesn't stop finding a new job every time her current one stops challenging her), but some people just want to be at the top and they are often scum and maybe you've met too many of them during your life.

Social hierarchies with "leaders" are similar. I had a group of friends with a "leader" who manipulated and schemed and made sure she controlled everything and she's one of the worst people I ever met and I regret ever saying hello to her. However a lot of the time in more laid back circles certain people organise stuff, take charge, exude charisma or whatever and everyone looks to them. Are those people a problem or just the latter?

I wonder if you're just a bit hurting and tender rather than permanently fucked up in the brain. Therapy or whatever might help, maybe time will help or maybe you are crazy.
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Cyril Fanford - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:42:10 EST 4HBTyuBX No.530620 Reply
>>530604
I think this guy got it. I mistrust people who WANT to lead.

>>530603
Don't really think I force people to lead that's something you're not understanding. I don't like to boss, just prefer to be treated like an equal in decision making processes and not be told to do something regardless.

Going fucking insane from unrequited love

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- Mon, 01 Jul 2019 18:15:11 EST 8DXKLi1o No.530142
File: 1562019311299.png -(259718B / 253.63KB, 576x432) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Going fucking insane from unrequited love
I fell in love with a friend... Again.

I can't go on like this. I need to quit this job before I kill myself from the hurt. It hurts so bad.

I can't fucking help myself. The first time it happened, it happened slowly over a period of a year. She was pretty enough. Too pretty for me, so I never pursued her or showed interest. But we became friends and we hung out together outside of work. I got to know her more and more until eventually I started dreaming of her. I started thinking of her from sunrise to sunset. For a period I lost sleep because I couldn't stop thinking of her. Goddamnit.
I finally confessed to her one day that I was falling in love with her. That's all I said. She didn't know what to say. The next time I saw her she tried to be friendly and I ignored her. I was an asshole to her because didn't know how to handle it. I tried to apologize (badly). We fought a bit through text messaging. And then she stopped talking to me for a few months. I thought I would never love again.
But as time went on, things thawed. She got in and out of a relationship. We started talking again (the job kind of forced us). One year later it's like it never happened.
When I was in love with her, I was blind to her flaws and I idolized her. I thought she was the perfect woman. It felt like she was put here on this earth just for me, which is a very stupid and selfish thing to think, but that's how it felt at the time. It took another year for me to discover enough personality flaws that I fell out of love.

But now it's fucking happening again. Only, this time it's a bit different.

I met her around the time when I had feelings for the first girl, so at the time I was totally not interested in a romantic way.

But time has passed. Slowly I've come to see how beautiful she is. How sweet and charitable she is. But she's not flawless. She's open minded in some ways, yet she has said some close-minded things. She's less learned than the first girl, but she's also more honest in what she doesn't know. She's so much more laid back and chill than the first girl. She isn't as ambitious and doesn't have goals to find a better job yet, unlike the first girl. She's religious, but accepting of things taboo in her religion.
I asked her (perhaps not subtly) what she looks for in a man and she replied with: "someone with the same mindset". I asked her if that means he has to be of the same religion and she replied "not necessarily".

My point is, I tried my best not to idolize her. BUT I FELL FOR HER ANYWAYS.
Even after she diplomatically said "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" when we were having a conversation about relationships. That answer crushed all my hopes, because I've heard it before. The first girl said it to me in almost the exact same way.

Yet despite the reality of the situation, I still can't stop dreaming of her (non of my dreams are sexual). I think about her all goddamned day. I can't watch movies, play games, study or read without thinking of her. I want to be with her all the time.

Fuck. FUCK. What do I do? Someone fucking help me because I don't know if I can take this shit again. Is this really the rest of my life? Always a groomsman, never the groom. It's literally torture to me.

This is perhaps my biggest flaw. I cannot I CANNOT stop obsessing over what my mind has decided is the most important thing in the world right now.
I know it's not, but god help me, because I can't.

How do I become a monk if I am not religious? Will cutting off my balls prevent this from happening again? I have goals I need to accomplish, but I can't do shit when I'm under this goddamned spell.

Seriously, help me.
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John Duckleworth - Tue, 23 Jul 2019 21:56:33 EST OFwXtkih No.530587 Reply
Your basically fucking retarded
>I can't watch a movie
that's some fucking retardation there. But hey I'm here to help. Lets start with 1 mantra and 1 practice.

Mantra: I am in control of my fucking thoughts
Practice: whenever you think of her repeat your mantra until your retardation subsides slightly
Bonus Activity: go print off a picture of her (im sure you have them) and go blow your load all over them. Having non-sexual dreams about the girl you 'love' is more an indication of how sexually frustrated you are then anything. Try some drugs, go lay a fatchick.

Bonus lesson: "someone with the same mindset" means someone with one of three things A> Taller B> Richer C> Bigger Dick. You can only do jack all about one of those three things so get working.

And please for the love of gawd stop hanging around these basic bitches. You might have to interact with them at work. Pass the stapler and stfu. Don't fucking talk about them, don't fucking talk about you and your weekend or your family or whatever. These bitchces are stringing you along as a sub-beta orbiter to help boost their self esteem and you are too fucking retarded to realize it.
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 10:50:12 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530595 Reply
>>530587
Fuck that get high and jack off thinking about her, Opie.
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Alice Diblingstock - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:09:50 EST c/uAObnR No.530619 Reply
>>530587
This is what uncles sound like. Don’t listen here. And if you’re using your advice and blocking with drugs as opposed to learning to deal with it, the Next i feel bad for you one day. Shit catches up to you fast.


Op, you remind me of Andy from the office when it comes to dating. Trust me when I say you have to try actually dating outside of the workplace. Especially this day and age, women are more like to scream rape or harassment these days, and you have no defense at work.

Socialize with the intent of meeting new people and finding a date. You don’t seem to be a beta as you actually seem smart enough to speak honestly. But imagine what happens if both co-workers find out you tried them both, or like you were tossing your dick around to see what hole it lands in. Doesn’t look good at all.


I’d start focusing on the idea that you need to keep looking for someone who wants to be with you. The pain doesn’t go away tomorrow, or even next week. Sorry, our brains and emotions coupled with uniqueness of personality and situation makes it impossible to have an instant cure.

having trouble following dreams/visions

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- Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:10:44 EST dJEw/uJZ No.530601
File: 1564002644411.jpg -(577803B / 564.26KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. having trouble following dreams/visions
Recently I've been getting some very attractive visions of the future, things that not just I would like to happen, but also I could very much see happening with the right amount of effort concentrated in the right direction. I know it's not literally my future because the vision is usually based off of my desire for how the future should turn out, but still, it's almost like a dream in waking life. I can see and experience what I'm doing down to such small details.. To me it feels like something inside of me that is much more powerful and intelligent than me is listening to my thoughts and showing me some sort of simulation of how things could turn out if I follow my thoughts. Is there anything I can do to concentrate this into real life and make it come true? Any practices or hints in the right direction for helping something totally imaginary become reality
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Fuck Tillingshaw - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 17:32:29 EST k4jkg4Pe No.530602 Reply
Work hard every day to achieve your goals? Not sure what you're asking beyond that. I have similar optimistic daydreams of the future and the more possible they seem, the bigger I dream.
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Nigel Blurrybut - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 18:30:53 EST I9kRwl6G No.530605 Reply
>>530601
Work out what you'd need to do to achieve it. Break that down into bits you can actually manage. When I lost 140 pounds I did it maintaining a deficit for a prolonged period of time. I did that by eating a certain amount and exercising a certain amount and adjusting that as my weight fell. But in the end the actual steps I could do were one meal, one gym session, adding up to one day at a time. After 18 months I achieved my goal. I've done similar things with study (while working), make sure I've studied this much this week, 20-30 minutes a day week nights, a couple of much longer sessions over weekends. One module at a time.

Have a goal, have the broad stages, have how you'll achieve each stage and then do it day by day.

Am I the only one???

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- Sun, 30 Jun 2019 09:43:59 EST 1IaPv+if No.530097
File: 1561902239951.jpg -(29137B / 28.45KB, 500x350) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Am I the only one???
Am I the only one who was raped as a small child???

The neighbor who would babysit me after elementary school having me suck him when I was like 6 (i was in first grade)... and it went on for wayyyyy to long.....
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Cyril Clibbercocke - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 15:23:38 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530598 Reply
>>530584
>>530586
>black people exist so segregation is okay
>males commit sexual violence at a higher rate so only targeting them with segregation practices is okay
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Archie Brirringtark - Wed, 24 Jul 2019 15:27:44 EST L671q8jt No.530599 Reply
>>530598
Do not engage with /pol/tards. If they insist on shitting up a thread with this garbage, just report them.

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