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Sandwich


I keep giving money to a findom

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- Wed, 17 Jun 2020 21:52:10 EST PqgViVEA No.534945
File: 1592445130007.jpg -(37557B / 36.68KB, 628x387) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I keep giving money to a findom
I know I'm going to get called an idiot for this but I keep giving my money to a financial dominatrix. Why the fuck do I keep doing this shit.
12 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Fanny Gannerwitch - Thu, 25 Jun 2020 21:20:21 EST y0iK7Iy7 No.535085 Reply
>>534945
You don’t even know why you’re giving her money.

Ghosted this girl I was seeing and now I feel like shit

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- Fri, 29 May 2020 18:39:18 EST 6yuOILUc No.534725
File: 1590791958356.jpg -(85845B / 83.83KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Ghosted this girl I was seeing and now I feel like shit
I'm relieved as fuck to be out of that relationship, but I worry about her.

I'm like 90% sure we both knew the relationship was over when I split but the last thing she said to me got my hackles all up and I was dead inside by this point so I just blocked her on everything. This was about a month and a bit into her constantly telling me that she didn't care about anything, telling me not to call her babe or anything vaguely romantic, talking about killing herself, getting mad at me for trying to be positive because it was "hallmarky" (which what the fuck else am I supposed to do dude "i dont care about anything and i want to die" haha yeah how about that new assassins creed) and generally just indirectly calling me a dumbass every time I tried anything to help and then getting mad at me for not texting her as much when every time ended with her saying some wild shit and then turning it around on me for the way I tried to help without ever telling me how she wanted me to help, sending me one word texts and then getting pissy with me for making jokes and trying to carry the conversation on my own. it's fucking exhausting emotionally and mentally and I had nothing left to give her.

So I'm angry and fed up and I block her because I barely have the energy to brush my teeth after like a month and a half of trying to be her therapist and getting shit on constantly for trying and, again I don't blame her for it this is just what she's been conditioned to do from past relationships and mental illness that's never been effectively treated, I know that if I had said "hey this isn't working, I think we should break up" she would've hit me with something like WELL SINCE NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME ILL JUST GO KILL MYSELF THEN BYE.

I don't regret leaving. She's a good person underneath the bullshit but I just couldn't handle it anymore, but now I'm worried that me ghosting her might have been a catalyst for her doing something crazy. Part of me wants to make sure she's okay but I know it's only to assuage my guilty conscience because I have zero desire to have any kind of relationship with her at this point and it'd be fucked up to force myself back into her life and reopen that wound (if it was a wound, like I said I'm pretty sure we both knew it was over so maybe she's overjoyed to be rid of me) and then leave just as quickly as I came back.
14 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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James Doddlekotch - Wed, 24 Jun 2020 01:00:07 EST mttQWkrO No.535043 Reply
>>535006
you are right mental illness does not preclude one from being an abuser and i was just as wrong to be so quick to come to her defense
>>
George Pittman - Thu, 25 Jun 2020 14:20:52 EST YU+X3Syy No.535079 Reply
>>535003
people becoming more disposable = lower tolerance for bullshit almost everyone has in one form or another because you can always get a shinier model until you realize it's just as fucked up and the cycle repeats

freedom

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- Wed, 17 Jun 2020 16:57:04 EST aCH8U1ge No.534939
File: 1592427424955.jpg -(66296B / 64.74KB, 706x420) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. freedom
there's like a victorian era marshall's ghost hovering over me all the time, barking orders and principles at me. used to belt myself on the back for feeling useless, sinful, evil and wimpy
I've seen moral decay since day 1 in my family. substance abuse. lack of authority. negligence. violence. denial. perversion
I'm so scared of copying everything I saw and of people doing the same. this authoritarian ghost I've built is my only defense against decadence and hedonism. he's the saviour I needed as a child. he's prudent, wise, strong and holy. I'm not. he knows what's best for me and others. he punishes evil and represents perfection

I wanna get over him. I wanna stop condemning myself and others. I want to consider myself enough of an rational adult to act with conviction. I don't need to be saved anymore
I want to have beliefs that resonate within myself in an honest way and don't act like a slaver's whip
5 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Basil Nozzlewill - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:33:05 EST SWBLTiMo No.534960 Reply
>>534944
thank you. I'm trying to find the border between "this I don't like nor agree with because I feel it from within" and "this I don't like nor agree with because I'm obeying my ghost's dogma". maybe it's a long and hard process and I cannot just overcome it by doing x or y
I believe it will help me grow up and have healthy relationships with other people, family, friends, acquiantances, love interests... and myself
>>534949
it's just a metaphor, I'm not seeing things. though I am going to therapy and treating this issue
my lack of confidence makes me cling to it because I see their punishments and veredicts as some sort of protection
I am now determined to find genuine prudence and confidence instead of a self-imposed tyranny
>>534952
will do
maybe I preemptively bear guilt so I am not to blame
Christ, fear has dominated me for so long. still is
>>
Alice Buddleshit - Sat, 20 Jun 2020 13:57:38 EST OdFrK28t No.534980 Reply
>>534960

Christ told you to give your suffering to him and be reborn a better person.

Even if you don't believe, you can still put down your suffering and find a new path.

You have suffered enough. Find a Victorian era game warden that shows you how to love nature and be confident and strong while you're alone.

Sentenced to jail time... again.

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- Sat, 30 May 2020 18:02:13 EST 3y+di+Hn No.534736
File: 1590876133857.jpg -(91193B / 89.06KB, 768x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Sentenced to jail time... again.
So, I ended up getting sentenced to a short jail sentence yesterday...
I've been to jail 3 times before, most of the time really short sentences ~3-5 days... My last sentence though, I started off in jail and after about a week, I got transferred to a state hospital and spent ~1 year 51/50'd in residential treatment facilities.
I've gotta check into jail in the beginning of September. It's going to be a short sentence, but I'm losing my mind at the anticipation of serving time. Haven't been allowed to drink or smoke for a year, and I really want to indulge, but at this current point in time the risks just don't seem worth it. I feel like my entire summer is fucked. I *may* have the opportunity to check into jail early and get all this shit over with-I qualify for house arrest, so there's a decent chance I'll be able to get it. While I know house arrest aint shit (and neither is a light jail sentence) I'm still fucking losing my mind over the concept of serving time. I'm claustrophobic and, combined with the other mental health issues I've got, this has made jail absolute fucking hell in the past.

In addition to all of that, I live with a parent and their SO right now, and coronavirus. They're super at risk and could easily die if they contract COVID, and I really don't want to get them sick. In addition, I am asthmatic and I also was recently hospitalized with a really bad case of pneumonia and would've died if I didn't go into the hospital & spent several weeks in the ICU. I still haven't recovered fully from the pneumonia yet... There was also a pretty big outbreak at the jail that I'll be serving time at, and it's been spreading like wildfire throughout my state.

I know this has to sound like bitching and moaning, but I am really concerned about going to fucking jail, man.

On the upsides: if I hadn't gotten sick, I'd actually still be serving time in jail right now on a much, much larger sentence, and I would've had to spend a minimum of ~3-5 years on probation, but I don't have to deal with any of that noise because of a kick ass attorney and pure fucking luck. Thank god I don't have to do probation after my upcoming jail sentence...

I found a couple of hotels that are offering month-month rentals right now, and even though its wayyyyyy out of my budget, I am considering trying to get a hotel to live in after I serve my jail sentence, as to avoid being a vector. Being broke is wayyyyyy better than losing my parent due to a stupid fucking jail sentence. Also, I'm figuring that if I do qualify for house arrest, and I can serve the time in a hotel room, I can just watch porn for a majority of the time, and it'll go by pretty damn quickly.

Any advice for coping with this? I've been having wicked fucking panic attacks because the anticipation is destroying me.
Also, does anyone have any good books they'd suggest that I could try to bring with me into jail to make the time go by quickly? I figure I'll try to bring the NA/AA big books, as I've always wanted to try and read through them, but I never had the discipline when I was in previous rehab stays... I definitely remember hearing speakers at AA/NA talk about how the big books completely transformed their experiences when they were locked up. I've tried to read the Bible, but that book was too damn boring.
16 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Shitting Peppermork - Sun, 14 Jun 2020 19:57:05 EST 3y+di+Hn No.534930 Reply
1592179025398.jpg -(30267B / 29.56KB, 463x371) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>534879
I don't think it will get me what I want-I've just struggled with anger for the majority of my life. There wasn't anyone in my family that also suffered from anger problems, but I know my grandpa (that I never met) did suffer from some real serious anger problems. He was a drill sergeant and raised my dad accordingly. (But my dad, while intense, was never a rageaholic or anything like that) I've heard stories of my grandpa getting into bar fights when my dad was a kid, and putting the other dude in a coma, so I'm wondering if some of my problems with anger skipped a generation...
I know it's counter productive, I've already had to have surgery due to letting my anger out on inanimate objects and getting some pretty bad breaks for it. I've had to lose security deposits due to holes in walls, it really leads nowhere, but it's just part of my nature. I have a feeling part of it is stemmed from getting raped/molested by a staff member of the preschool that I went to...

But I am working on chilling out more, and my Dr. gave me a Klonopin script to get me through the next couple of weeks while I am anticipating jail, and that has really helped keep me calm, even though I know I font want to have to rely on medications to keep myself from being pissed AF all the time.

I am making sure that I don't take my frustration out on my loved ones, because that is very unfair.

In addition, I've just ordered a few bhuddist (sp?) texts as I feel that they will help me come to terms with things-and I'll be allowed to bring religious texts into the jail, so I will have some help coming to terms with things while I am locked up. I'm hoping I'll be able to bring in some AA/NA texts, and some bhuddist texts so that I'll be able to improve myself while I am incarcerated.

But yeah, I know that anger is almost always counter productive, unless I'm in a situation that warrants violence due to an immediate threat to my safety.
>>
Emma Sinderpock - Sun, 14 Jun 2020 20:15:30 EST BS2w/HZ0 No.534931 Reply
>>534930
Kids don't necessarily repeat the same behavior, they just try to get the same results in more or less the same way. As adults sometimes we have to realize that eating shit is a part of life, and if that's the worst that happens, then life is good.
>>
Matilda Bollysudge - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 10:53:40 EST LUAyeKAb No.534959 Reply
>>534802
>One of the things I'm proud of is that I'm generally a really nice/pleasant person, especially with strangers-I don't want to make other people's lives fucking shitty because mine sucks sometimes.
yeah i am nice too but only when it is consequential that way i end up having better morals than everybody else

Flashbacks

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- Fri, 19 Jun 2020 04:21:45 EST VMzmKgcf No.534953
File: 1592554905139.jpg -(66656B / 65.09KB, 960x769) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Flashbacks
How do you get over getting flashback of painful and humiliating moments in your life? I was neglected as basically gave up as a kid so I was always at the bottom. Now I'm doing fine so don't worry but it's literally like demons are screaming at me whenever I remember certain things.

Picture is the exact opposite of what i feel, yet i want to possess that degree of cosyness, or being cosy. There's still a part of me that's like this fucked up kid. Am mid-late 20s. What would you suggest
>>
Cedric Bunway - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 04:39:48 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534954 Reply
>>534953
You'll likely never get rid of them entirely but there are ways to reduce both their frequency and intensity.

This is one of those cases where CBT might help. There's various sub approaches on it, so it's worth finding one that works for you. You might find that training yourself to avoid those thoughts helps, or you may find that instead learning to engage with them less intensely and worry about having them less is a better strategy. You may instead need to analyse them and instead learn to view them differently, you have escaped them, they can't hurt you.

You may also find you need to talk through your self image/identity with another person to truly understand it and appreciate who you are now. I found therapy useful for that too.

So in short therapy actually might help. Make sure you find a therapist and an approach which resonates with you because it won't work if you don't believe in it.
>>
Sidney Fonkinlut - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 07:45:53 EST XfFMRE9f No.534955 Reply
If they are impacting your happiness look for ways of reducing them. They're called intrusive thoughts.
>>
Matilda Bollysudge - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 10:40:20 EST LUAyeKAb No.534957 Reply
>>534953
yeah i bet the state was supposed to send you 50 bucks a week to make up for what they are giving newcomers except that they cheaped out on things working the way they were supposed to so they can radicalize you. oh you can't have something because you have something except you don't have anything. at least they did a good job by proxy of ethnic role identification.. well i guess that wasn't really them though. you aren't given credit as a good boi are you? well welly well well well welly well.

letting go of hate

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- Wed, 17 Jun 2020 18:27:48 EST OuQCp+w8 No.534942
File: 1592432868337.jpg -(198634B / 193.98KB, 1125x1112) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. letting go of hate
I have so much hate in my heart towards my ex-gf its unbelievable. It's been 2 years since we broke up but I think about her everyday and I cant keep myself from getting totally fucking pissed off. I firmly believe she destroyed my ability to love anyone ever again. When I first met her I was totally infatuated with her and she was really fucking attractive. I should've seen all the red flags. There is so much shit but let me condense it to this.

>She was 7 years older than me(she was 30 and I was 23)
>She had 2 kids that were 10 and 12 years old
>Pathological liar
>Cheater
>I would bend over backwards to make sure me, her, and her 2 kids would have a place to live whether it be a hotel, motel or whatever.
>I would be the only one that would ever work a job or have some sort of income.
>Her mother ends up taking custody of both kids due to her own fucking shenanigans
>Continues to fuck everyone she can while she gets deeper and deeper into drugs
>My dumbass would believer her lies
>Finally hustle my ass off to get us a 1 bedroom apartment
>I was working all day everyday and would only have 1 day off evey 2 weeks.
>I'd leave money on the table every morning to make sure she was taken care of
>Come home from work one evening on payday
>An acquaintance of mine is over hanging out in my living room.
>"He's just visiting and wanted to hangout with you" she says
>Keep in mind she doesn't know him at all
>Become very suspicious
>She then disappears for like 2 days
>Comes back with some bullshit story
>Notice she has him in a call while we argue
>Accuse her of cheating and kick her out of the house
>I went ahead and disappeared and stayed with a friend for a few weeks
>She ends up getting married to this guy after knowing him for like 2 months

It pisses me off because all I did was work hard for her and she wanted to hangout with this fucking guy and get high and smoke crack and shoot heroin with him. She became so fucking ugly because of drugs(she never used drugs when we first met) and then she has the fucking audacity to email me and tel me I'm the reason her life is currently fucked up and she lost her kids. She spreads lies about me to mutual friends and tells them insane shit like I tried killing her and shit that isn't even remotely true. She'd also tell people I'm a snitch that works for the police. I want to forget about this cunt so badly but I just cant seem to rid myself of the hatred I have in my hear for her. She's currently in jail right now and every few days I look her up online to make sure she's still in jail and it makes me so happy to see her miserable even though its pathetic that I cant seem to get shake all this hatred I have.
>>
Shitting Wussleman - Wed, 17 Jun 2020 18:51:16 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534943 Reply
>>534942
The short answer is make sure she cannot re enter your life in any way then focus instead on how good it is you are free of her.

Talk to friends and set them straight, move flat and ideally neighbourhood, cut lines of communication to her. Make sure she cannot easily crawl back in.

Then start celebrating the freedom. Think of her as in the past and not the present of future and think how much better the you without her is.

I knew someone who I don't think will ever be forgiven but I'm not going to pour energy into a grudge. They can't hurt me now, my life is unrecognisable compared to when they influenced it. It's great. Living a great life without them is the best revenge. I won't wish them ill or waste time seeking them out, I will avoid crossing their path and when they come up I remember I don't like them but this thread is the most I've thought about it in a long time. But it reminds me that I'm happy they're gone and you can literally see where their influence ends and I come into my own. Don't spend energy focusing on her suffering. Just think of you.

Hate is a waste of energy, if someone's a thread neutralise them, it's not personal. Once that's done use the energy to enjoy your safety.

gurls

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- Fri, 12 Jun 2020 20:26:23 EST HtbIeoJ/ No.534918
File: 1592007983114.gif -(1021333B / 997.40KB, 500x281) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. gurls
Sup /qq/ it's my first time posting here, ive read through some threads and i think my issues fits this board.
First of all sorry for my bad english, its not my nativ language.
So there is this really good friend of mine to whos girlfriend i developed feelings recently. Theres a lot of stuff happening befor but things really started to happen last weekend when my friend left over the weekend and his gf asked me to hang out. So one day she asked me in the middle of the night to hang out to smoke some pot. We spend the night together talking and get kinda close to eachother. She spend the night on the couch. The next day we hanged out in the afternoon. The day after that i went to her place, where she invited me get close to her on the couch where we sort of cuddled i guess. When we got sleepy she invited me to join her in the bed where we watched some tv, beeing close and sometimes touch eachother. After she fell asleep i put my arm over her wich i fucking regret so much. I left quite early after waking up and a few days later she asked me to hang out, wich i wasnt sure i wanted so i told her id be at our friend of our. Later she said she and her bf would coming as well. Usualy she never shows up at said friends home but he does. Anyway at the friends home i was laying on one side of the couch and he on the other (kind of a "C" shape couch) she was sitting more close to me right away and by the end of the evening i had her almost laying next to me, sometimes touching me without me doing anything tbh.

I didnt speak to her since then really. He asked me to hang out today wich was also kind of unusual since we usualy hang out at some other place, where she goes to.
Neither he nor me brought anything up but it has to be obvious to him something is going on. The way they talked to eachother when we ware at my friends place wasnt good at all, im prittey sure they have some issues besides me.
Thats it for now i hope my writing wasnt to horrible. What do you guys think? I really dont want to hurt my friend but i also have kind of fallen for her and their relationship doesnt seem to work out rn. Is it bad for me to kind of expoloit that, and not trying to help them work things out.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Archie Wonderkudge - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 07:33:39 EST a/xNAviH No.534923 Reply
>>534918

i'm a terrible friend, but i'd ask if they were doing some kinda stallion thing or uncomfortable polyamory.

Otherwise, yeah, I've been there, it doesn't last.
>>
Rebecca Crerringfield - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 07:52:51 EST /Do7dRkx No.534924 Reply
>>534918
>What do you guys think?
About what? You choose your path in this life. Think about yourself waiting for your girlfriend to text back while she's playing handboob with your best friend.
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gst - Sat, 13 Jun 2020 09:49:34 EST HtbIeoJ/ No.534925 Reply
1592056174623.png -(625801B / 611.13KB, 1008x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>534922
Thanks, i dont think he would blame me tbh. like i said their relationship doesnt seem to go well for quite some time, but since they live together i think thats keeping them from breaking up so easy i guess.
Yeah i dont try to not let the dating apps get the best of my self, its just super hard to connect to people like this for me.


>>534923
hahah yeah that would be funny, but i doubt it would work out.
but tbh im not in for it to just get laid.


>>534924
yeah... fuck, cant imagine the hurt. fuck me for letting it get so far :(

Psychiatric medicine

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- Sun, 07 Jun 2020 03:35:12 EST wzeDR2d8 No.534851
File: 1591515312053.png -(779782B / 761.51KB, 715x677) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Psychiatric medicine
Everyone with whom I share the real shit eating away at me and why I suffer inside want me on SSRIS. I've given them tries, I really have, different ones for plenty of time and nowadays I will flat out refuse them.
I self medicate with benzos alcohol and pot so Im not going to sit here and be self righteous, I've just had issues with ssris and snris in the past and have no intetest in them again.
I'll take benzos if they'll give me them I used to be prescribed 6mg xanax a day at 15 and I've been relapsing hard on the kpins lately.
Im going to be going into therapy this week that seems like it will be able to address both the mental health aspects and the substance abuse.
I'm rambling now but do you guys think I'm just being a stubborn asshole for not wanting to take the SSRIS? it sure feels like it sometime because my mood swings affect my girlfriend and my family, Im just trying to do better for everyone but I have to have my own convictions right?
Just wanted to see if anyone else is very anti serotonin uphibiters.
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Nicholas Demmlewater - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 04:45:13 EST wzeDR2d8 No.534908 Reply
>>534892
Very little these days. I just moved from the most beautiful part of the country I've ever lived in to fucking bum fuck florida and there's nothing nice to look at no one nice to talk to or look at. I really just like listening to music and getting very very fucked up and then ideation starts. I want to go to rehab but I'm also not sure I'm ready, everyone hates me though and I think a better alternative is that I found a way to get a gun no papers so I'll do that and drive into the bush or something so no one finds me for a good bit.
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Ernest Heckledet - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 18:50:17 EST rYm1IvUX No.534911 Reply
>>534908
I'm anti-SSRIs, but I have enough sense to make it personal. There was a friend of mine in high school who was night and day without medication.
>>
Ernest Heckledet - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 18:57:11 EST rYm1IvUX No.534913 Reply
I'm anti-SSRIs, but I have enough sense to make it personal. There was a friend of mine in high school who was night and day without medication (ADHD in his case).
>>534908
I know that the best laid cans of rice often tip over. As a fellow Bumfuckian, I'm going with Emma. There are two freshwater springs here that are great. Alexander and Blue Springs. Alexander raised their rates, but diving in either has become a hobby. Cold water can help shock you awake, at least.

Major regret

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- Mon, 08 Jun 2020 21:52:14 EST IYp/JOZ6 No.534877
File: 1591667534943.jpg -(12563B / 12.27KB, 456x319) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Major regret
Well I never thought I'd be venting here, but why not? I'm about to be a college dropout soon, mostly due to a severe lack of motivation to continue a bullshit major I wasted a few years on. That major being psychology. I'll admit it was an interesting subject and I initially went with it under the impression that maybe just maybe I can help people who are dealing with fucked up shit like my friends. However the more I continued, the more... I guess disingenuous it was. Every advice my professors gave sounded rehearsed or just dripping in a faux well meaning manner. Especially this one guy trying to be very inclusive, but just came off as fucking fake and overbearing. A part of me feels like I'm saving myself the trouble of ending up like them, but at the same time it also feels like I'm going to be missing out on something.

Hopefully I'll manage to find a job, even with what's happening out there.
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Isabella Fogglestone - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 20:52:51 EST DJNQEQQ6 No.534900 Reply
Well hopefully you're not american hey. I dropped out in the last year of my biochem degree and it turned out good for me, but I spent the next few years at my parents getting psychological help and training for an entirely different career as a support worker. I dont regret it at all. I never wanted to get a degree, I just thought I had to because I got good grades. And life is sweet when you're living authentically.

I guess you need to have a good look at your motivations and figure out an unmet need or something. Surely theres a job that will be rewarding for you. I was really depressed back then talking about how no one understood me so I was like hang on a second if I'm sad that I cant connect with people, maybe a job where I connect with people and help them would be good. Shit like that. So what's making you sad right now?
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Barnaby Hattingham - Thu, 11 Jun 2020 18:38:56 EST hdZC6pKM No.534905 Reply
Plenty of people get a useless degree like psychology to boost their cv. I dropped out and it didn't matter. Most of my idiot coworkers are collegiate but they're still idiots. Get raised by the schools and turn out a marshmallow or get raised by the streets and turn out unhinged. To marshmallows like yourself my advice would be to stay in school.
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Jarvis Pirringsog - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 04:50:25 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534909 Reply
>>534905
I don't directly use my degree either. It's sort of helpful with my current job and career path now though. Also Psychology also includes some stats if you pick the right modules so there's that. Anyway, if you're nearly at the end OP you might as well finish because it does boost your CV. It proves you have some combination of motivation and talent. Maybe a lot of one and not much of the other, but enough to get stuff done.

cheated on, not even mad?

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- Sun, 31 May 2020 13:10:27 EST BNmGDLDE No.534752
File: 1590945027853.jpg -(48074B / 46.95KB, 721x723) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. cheated on, not even mad?
GF cheated on me.

This is my first relationship and I had felt like we were moving apart a little, but at the same time I thought we had been together for over a year and that initial high of the relationship had worn off and were still going. Never had an argument or anything.

Came home from the doing a little shopping, she had asked me a dozen times to "call before you leave the store in-case I decide I want anything" which obviously, I forgot to do. See a strange car in the driveway, figure a friend was over but no.

If she had asked me if it was ok to sleep with her old fuck buddy I would have said yes. I had thought about asking if an open relationship was possible because I want to see what being with another guy is like. But she didn't ask and I only found out because I came home early. I want to believer her but can I? How can I be sure?

So, I guess I have to ask myself if I want to be in an open relationship or move on?

If I do choose to stay and try out an open relationship? How can I forgive and learn to trust her again? Do I just forgive and move on or do I ask for some kind of gesture to show she is sorry? If so, what?
13 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Rebecca Pinnerdore - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 11:04:42 EST A5IzVT0o No.534899 Reply
>>534865
>my first Gf was a lesbian using me as a cover-up boyfriend during school. I didn't even catch on until 10 months into the misery
ooft...rough...
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Jenny Hummerchadge - Thu, 11 Jun 2020 04:02:23 EST T36MuUAK No.534901 Reply
1591862543691.jpg -(129361B / 126.33KB, 602x538) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>534899
whats funny though is we never told each other the truth about either side of it, so I never told her while we were "together" that I got with a girl and She never directly told me about the fact She was in a whole other actual relationship w/ a chick.

Party years later and this ex fucking walks up to me flirting until we make out upstairs and pushing into a wall painting making noise in the bathroom etc. UNTIL HER BITCH OF A GIRLFRIEND COMES FUMING and they left in a hurry. fuck it all.

but yeah the 10 months hurt although she let me take her virginity and then they both ended up married now and my older sister warned me that she thought they were lesbians too. Interesting time. Perks of having a respectable name I guess, whatever makes lesbians given you their virginity and final pre-lesbain union dicking.

scars

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- Thu, 04 Jun 2020 09:52:21 EST zLz8KnuE No.534813
File: 1591278741035.jpg -(60181B / 58.77KB, 300x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. scars
i'm meeting up with somebody i met online tomorrow. i really, really like them, we have great chemistry, and i find them very attractive. there's just one issue; i have very severe self harm scars on my arms. i have no idea whether or not i should tell them beforehand, because it's super fucking hot out atm and i'm going to be wearing short sleeves, or if i should just turn up and hope they won't be grossed out by them. any advice?
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Emma Bupperkidging - Wed, 10 Jun 2020 02:24:03 EST ZLNL16wy No.534894 Reply
Be honest but talk about what matters to you.

Writing communities or whatever

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- Tue, 09 Jun 2020 04:45:39 EST 8XFIaawD No.534885
File: 1591692339827.png -(327849B / 320.17KB, 391x575) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Writing communities or whatever
I'd like to give a shot at reading people's short stories and writing a few. But don't really know where to look, I guess I'm just looking for a good suggestion.

I had a three-way relationship at work

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- Sat, 06 Jun 2020 22:12:19 EST 20v+vFtN No.534838
File: 1591495939298.jpg -(713278B / 696.56KB, 3840x2560) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I had a three-way relationship at work
Me and another guy are both supervisors at a jobsite. We made a married woman a supervisor, so I could sleep with her, while she is totally incompetent. The other guy, a friend, is married. He said he wasn't interested and would help me get what I want.

But the first time they are alone together they kiss and I go on a bender, feeling betrayed. He convinced me to stay around and wants me to also kiss and fuck her. So a day later I kiss her with him sitting in a car a nearby. Me and her are done kissing he brings her home and fucks her the next day after work.

The next week I have sex with her. After that things are getting bad, first a pregnancy scare, then she is moving away and then she is on drugs. So I get a message that she is stopping with the both of us but she doesn’t want us change. No fighting between me and him and to not treat her any different. He was always honest with me to a fault, he hates lying and I believed him. So he confirms the story and I think we are both done.

Then some fishy things start happening, he is still texting with her all day and I see hearts passing by on his phone. The next day she is at work again and things are way too normal. At the end of the day, I decide to leave and say that I am going to quit my job so I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore.

She comes over to my place the next day to talk things over, she said that she stopped with me because I love her and we made an agreed at the start there would be no love. I still not sure if I love her but it hurts, so maybe. Later that night he comes over to talk with me and tells me that he lied to me. She never had any intention to quit with him; she only wanted to get rid of me. She lied to save my feelings and he lied because she told him so.

Before she stopped with me I already knew they were talking about getting married. It was probably stupid to think that I could continue to fuck her after that. Now I am stuck in a bad situation. I told her I don’t want to be friends anymore after the lie and now she angry because of that. He and I are still good friends. At work things are really awkward, she can’t do anything work related. So she stands with us the whole day, while I try not to look at her and not speak a word to her.

I don’t what to do, should I quit my job? Now I am drugging myself to make it through the days with her. It is the best job I have ever had; a lot of people working there are my friends. So I feel I lose too much when I give up this job. Do you have any advice?
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Isabella Febberhood - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 06:47:05 EST DJNQEQQ6 No.534866 Reply
>I feel hurt so I must love the girl
After all the fucked up shit you pulled and how selfish you've been, you still only think about how you feel hurt. Guess what, mate the woman wasnt ever going to fill that void inside you. Your half baked scheme was disgusting and I'm glad that it got so fucked up.

Either way you have never been entitled to her love or her sex and you have done the dirty to her. You should be apologizing to her.

messaging first

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- Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:27:13 EST zLz8KnuE No.534869
File: 1591626433678.jpg -(53673B / 52.42KB, 612x402) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. messaging first
i've got a crush on somebody for the first time in forever!!! the last time i liked somebody was when i was right in the middle of a depressive episode, and now i've been on my medication for a few months i'm in a much better place for stuff like this, but my normal metre is all kinds of fucked. is it weird to always be the one who messages first? i don't mind, i vibe with them enough that i want to reach out, but idk what the correct protocol for any of this is
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Nathaniel Penderbanks - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:38:16 EST zLz8KnuE No.534871 Reply
>>534870

1) yes!
2) i've been on my meds since the beginning of september
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Clara Dappertit - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:00:37 EST uOeB/J2M No.534872 Reply
>>534871
Why not talk to them more? A crush implies that person isn't in your orbit, so maybe bring them into it.
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Clara Dappertit - Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:02:13 EST uOeB/J2M No.534873 Reply
>>534871
What I mean is, perhaps for the other person, this is a superficial relationship, and so you need to do stuff to bring the relationship closer. Talking to each other all the time comes from a bond, and the bond is formed through shared experiences, so go get some.

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