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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated March 22)
depression by Henry Dartstone - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 12:24:12 EST ID:9QXVx2Nf No.527428 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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when will it end? my father emotionally abused me for months on end when he started shooting testosterone and ever since then my lifes been in a steady spiral. him and gf emasculated me and did absolutely horrible things day after day. it triggered something in my head and i went from having self control with drugs to flow blown fiend and became a heroin/3-ho-pcp addict. i lost the girl of my fucking dreams, we were best friends since 13 years old and dated for about 5 years but she also abandoned me after my life situation kept worsening with my father and his gf. ive lost all of my friends besides some online ones and one dude local. im unemployed now after having 2 jobs in a row where the company goes down the shitter (completely bad luck/coincidence).

so im joining the military now and hoping i either die doing something worthwhile or find an outlet that i enjoy. it will force me to stop doing drugs and provide me with some structure and the ability to go back to school without going into massive debt.

i dont know why im posting this, i think its jsut to vent. i just wish my life would revert back to how it was 6 years ago. oh what i'd do to relive those years. i spend an unhealthy amount of time reminiscing on when I was happy with my best friend, we were attached at the hip..what I would do to go back. i miss her and the rest of my life so fucking much and im just an emptied husk of my former self with a monkey on my back to show. and i attempted suicide a month ago via heroin but of course that didnt even work. even if nothing else went right i just want my fucking best friend back, its nothing but happiness when im around her and im pretty sure thats an old chapter in my book already. 10 years of friendship and love down the drain. what a fucking shame.
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Eugene Dellybidge - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 12:37:58 EST ID:SNJ/iWW9 No.527429 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you're just clinging to your past, let it go
definitely look forward to that outlet you will enjoy
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Edward Crunkinhall - Fri, 26 Oct 2018 22:08:34 EST ID:XF+1Mpas No.527452 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>shooting testosterone
wut


Moved to a small town and hate it here by Simon Crongerwill - Fri, 05 Oct 2018 05:39:50 EST ID:DGXx8e01 No.526995 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I just moved to a small town in NC about 2 weeks ago, population of around 2,400. I was pretty excited about it because this is my first time having my own place with no room mates in about a year and a quarter. There is absolutely nothing to do here though. And the people here in general seem very gossipy and miserable. I'll give some examples...
*So I rarely leave my apartment outside of looking for work, getting some cigarettes, picking up a money order, or getting a small bite to eat. I smoke a lot on my side porch (about once an hour sometimes a bit more frequently) and I guess where I'm most seen. So I had picked up a money order the day before at the nearby Food Lion and go into the dollar general to pester them for a job. And as soon as I come in a guy starts telling a story about how smoking is such a bad habit and "his brother" is trying to quit so recently switched to smoking outdoors and people who can't afford to smoke shouldn't be smoking. I'm pretty sure he was taking a shot at me, So I just ignored it and continued on with my day
*I go to the Bojangles where I have been trying to work to eat last sunday. By the way I'm white and one of the assistant managers is black and ghetto. And I order my food and she is saying something to one of her workers and I didn't catch it all but she said "I can't afford it" in response to something and laughed a little. I just looked at her and smiled and sat down and ate, cleaned my table off, and left.
*Today I went to Food Lion after doing an application for there to try to speak to a manager and to pick up another money order to cover my internet bill. I was smoking a cigarette outside before I went in and a woman starts up a conversation with me. Doesn't even get a pleasant word out of her mouth just starts talking about a woman who had just drove off in a nice car, said that she used to talk to her and since the woman had become well off, she never speaks to her anymore. But she's no better than anyone else because her husband runs the gunshop and got in trouble for embezzlement. I just said well we all have our flaws. And wished her a good day and went inside Food Lion, where I immediately hear…
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Cyril Herrystock - Sun, 14 Oct 2018 06:51:48 EST ID:eUNsGCnf No.527152 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526995
> it's a small town and there is nothing to do
> why does everyone keep making conversation with me and concerning themselves with my life


eh.. I wonder
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David Dablinglane - Fri, 26 Oct 2018 19:47:45 EST ID:DGXx8e01 No.527450 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If anyone wanted an update here I am...Bojangles ended up hiring me. They wanted me on the morning shift, the hours ranged from coming in anywhere from 6-9 AM. I'm terrible at waking up early and ended up getting fired today after a no call no show yesterday (my second one). I told my manager that I had trouble waking up in the mornings numerous times previously but I guess she wasn't sympathetic. And i didn't want to call my work with the lame excuse of missing being i couldn't make it out of bed. I've had this problem my whole life and it's ruined a ton of jobs and opportunities for me. Thankfully my parents have been paying for my place for me, and they're pretty pissed off now after i told them what happened. No surprise there. But i took the first job i could find to try to take some of the weight off their shoulders and unfortunately it was one that was entirely incompatible with my sleep habits. Fortunately prior to getting on with Bojangles I was trying to work at food lion and i've already had an interview and as of last week the assistant manager was still trying to get me on stocking shelves around 5 pm or after. He should be in tomorrow (at least I think, my interview with him previously was on a saturday) so I'm hoping we can get back in touch and this can be a quick rebound into better employment instead of a downward spiral into joblessness again, which could lead me into another stint of homelessness, and that's not something i ever want to go through again.

On other notes after starting with bojangles I did find a weed connect and that's made things a lot more chill. But it's also bringing back my bad habits of smoking/spending too much.

So that's my life for the moment. Feeling a lot of shame and guilt over losing my job. Hope it subsides over the weekend and things start going better.
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Esther Nicklecocke - Fri, 26 Oct 2018 21:22:54 EST ID:jeyD+EBD No.527451 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527450
I dont think I could oversleep and miss my job if I tried. I'm way too nervous.

It's kind of impressive


No ambitions, no dreams by David Buzzhall - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:40:46 EST ID:Y2AI16A6 No.527416 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I've got the standard package, depression, anxiety, unemployed for 2 years, no relationships ever, no hopes, no ambitions, no dreams, fail at everything I do. I should go back to school or get a job, or so everyone says. I went to school because I was supposed to and got a job because I was supposed to, I drank a lot to cope with not wanting to do this shit but wanting to please everyone by being "normal". Got depressed and fired because they found someone better to do the job, was relieved but didn't help my self confidence. Got another job and got fired because I was incompetent, didn't do wonders for my mental health but I didn't even want to be there. Got a 4 month job that got me enough money to move out of my parents house, went to a different school and failed there. Since then I had one "job" for a couple of months but other than that I've been NEETing it up for years. Entry level jobs don't give me much more money than neetbux and every time I've had a job I've lowkey wanted to kill myself every morning I woke up for it. I don't even know who I am, just a loser and a slacker. I'm just so tired of doing things that hurt me to please other people even though they just want the best for me. I dont want to pretend to be normal and happy just so they can sigh in relief because they're worried about me. It also feels bad to be a disappointment to everyone, but I have no self-esteem, skills or dreams that would give me guidance on what I want to do with my life. I just feel very lost. I'm 26 btw.

Just needed to vent. Objectively life has been better for than it is for most people, but sometimes you just need to vent.
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Hugh Sommlekore - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 12:46:00 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.527430 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527421
>you have no one to please but yourself
>s-s-so cut your hair and shave and look presentable for other people to give you money scrub

lol this logical contradiction with society worshiping Petersonscum, back to /weed/ disgruntled modernist
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David Micklefuck - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 21:20:00 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527440 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527430

And what’s your point, angry internet man? Like, what’s your REAL point?

Telling some self described loser he should maintain a clean appearance to help boost his self esteem and feel more comfortable amongst society isn’t bad advice.

So keep crying about whatever it is. You haven’t helped OP at all. At least I gave it a shot with advice from my own life.

Also I figured this appearance shit out a decade ago whilst moving schools regularly. Other than the word “competence” Peterson doesn’t claim shit on my post.
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David Dablinglane - Fri, 26 Oct 2018 19:39:11 EST ID:DGXx8e01 No.527449 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527416
I can relate to this just so you know. I've been neeting it up over the years myself. Every once in a while i will find a job but blow it by not waking up on time to get to work, just lost one today. Really hurts to feel like a disappointment again. My parents just went out on a limb for me and got me a place to live and are helping with my rent and I was expected to pay them in a couple weeks. Now i'm as broke as ever cause i only worked a few days at the job. I have another prospect I was looking into before I got this one and I'm hoping they can give me a job. The hours will be easier to make it through too. I was homeless for the latter half of 2017 and it was terrible. I don't want to go back to that but I'm already making my same mistakes over again. Even knowing what that was like and how terrible it is when you hit that point you got nothing and nobody was not enough motivation for me to get out of bed in the mornings so i could make it to work. All i got to look forward to now is monday when i'll get a money order from a friend i'm supposed to use to pay my internet bill but will likely spend on weed. I know it's a bad idea but i'm probably going to end up doing it anyway then paying my bill late when I get this paltry bit of money my former job owes me. I would tell you to try to get your shit together before things get worse for you, but i don't even follow my own advice, so just know there are others out there struggling just like you are.


Bleh. by Albert Pettingstud - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 01:31:13 EST ID:FkJs/2F3 No.527354 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Boyfriend still jerks off to videos of himself fucking his exes. Regularly. One, particularly often. I don't doubt that he loves me, but it hurts.

Advice? Am I justified in feeling like shit or do I really need to chill? How to proceed? It's got me fucked up.
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Fuck Pondernotch - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 04:08:42 EST ID:o73D+Pvc No.527411 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527407
What are you even doing?
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Hedda Gassledit - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 16:24:22 EST ID:WB75qOJ8 No.527418 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527411
Pretending to be retarded is a fine art these days, you wouldn't understand anyway. It's just 2deep4u
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Albert Gobberway - Fri, 26 Oct 2018 10:49:20 EST ID:huj7hNcx No.527444 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP, I still thought about my ex after I dated this one girl for several years. I thought about her when I would cum and once I even said my ex's name during sex. From experiance there is some emotional attachment, still, and its not love or anything but you still get turned on by thinking how you smashed. Eventually it goes away, afte a couple of months. But if you been dating this guy for atleast a year and he still does it, then you got a problem on your hands. How do you even know he has videos.. Dont tell me your going trough his stuff OP.


my subconscious is fucking with me by Matilda Grimwell - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 11:21:23 EST ID:wEAjSvOo No.527426 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I keep having dreams about trying to get back together with my ex (who I haven't seen in 6 years) and if the dreams aren't about her they're about overcoming the obstacles I'd need to in order to simply get back in touch with her. I have no idea what's going on in her life but I don't think I can actually go backwards. The dreams are getting increasingly realistic and convincing. I think my subconscious is trying to talk me into harassing this person who most likely doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this.
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Simon Gillerdare - Thu, 25 Oct 2018 18:17:06 EST ID:s7p5agl5 No.527438 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527426
Dreams reflect what's on your mind. If you keep thinking about them you'll dream the same dreams. Don't read too much into this.

I used to dream I was back at school a lot never knew where I had to be and was worried I'd fail maths. After a couple of these dreams I woke up and reminded myself I didn't need to go back, I have a degree and a career. The next few dreams I had I'd remember and just leave the building. Then they stopped.

Dreams are not some magic gate to the secrets of your mind. They may not be the same but they are fed by what you think about during the day.


Apathy by Beatrice Gemmlewell - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 20:32:09 EST ID:1s/2RG18 No.527342 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Anybody else just feel empty?
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Barnaby Hovingstick - Tue, 23 Oct 2018 22:10:17 EST ID:BvlCEN4D No.527408 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527342
Used to feel like this still do sometimes but what really helps is reading existential books like Nietzsche and Kierkegaard. But don't get me wrong your still going to feel like this sometime
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Hugh Blunkinbury - Tue, 23 Oct 2018 22:55:16 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.527409 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527342
I feel the same way now OP. My heart has turned cold and is hard as stone. After being mentally ill over a decade and trying to get my mind and life right no matter what I did and how hard I tried, I'm too tired. I cant do this shit anymore. I don't know what to do...
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Shit Greenstone - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 05:38:49 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527412 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527342

You posted this on personal issues. Therefore you accept that something is wrong.

Have you ever considered that the reasons behind why you feel empty are simply wrong?

A lot of life is just knee jerk reactions that we then go on to elaborate about at length, in order to skip the part where we question why our knee jerked in the first place. Or if there was even a need for our knee to jerk. Was it justified, correct, suitable, appropriate or even reasonable to jerk our knee?

The more you think about this, the more likely it is that you realise your main reasons why you justify your emptiness are incorrect.

In the pursuit of ultimate truth, we must recognise that we are probably, very wrong about most things. Especially our inclination to consider ourselves right.

Do not trust your immediate self, it is the by product of years of faulty coding and poor maintenance. Instead go into safe mode and begin observing the processes being ran, question their use, question their right to be there, question the validity of the equations being used to add up and value the various variables in your life.


can you even trust any women? by Graham Clenkinwot - Thu, 13 Sep 2018 02:48:19 EST ID:xeQtH2nf No.526656 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've heard of so many girls cheating, my friends who are girls have cheated (most of them I think?), even the ones who don't overtly cheat play all sorts of fucked games. Idk I got dumped like 2 months ago and while the thing wasn't that serious to begin with, I can't get it out of my head that she's out there getting railed lol.

My buddy's girl of 2 1/2 years he found out today was fucking another guy for a year and a half of their relationship and she dumped him. How are there even people capable of that? And why does it feel like that's the fucking norm now? I'm afraid of getting into anything anymore because how the fuck do you trust? It's like they're all scheming ass emotionally driven animals. There's gotta be some good ones out there, right?!

I feel like my whole life I was taught like, okay this is how things are in relationships: monogamy is the norm, most girls are respectable and good to men. Lots of men are shitty, but there's still good dudes or whatever and they can do alright. It's starting to look like it's mostly shitty people out here and there's a couple of us non-shitty people. I do okay attracting girls and getting pussy or whatever but it just feels like love is just an idea that is super fucking rare and somehow made it into the mainstream... But it's not real, is it?
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David Penningwell - Tue, 23 Oct 2018 01:18:08 EST ID:rGErzU24 No.527398 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527394
I'm not sorry about it, but I'll acknowledge that to me it is unfortunate that you weren't able to gain anything from what I wrote. That's the only reason I bothered to post, and it didn't work for you. I hope you can find something that you can understand and benefit from elsewhere, and I'm sure you will.
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David Penningwell - Tue, 23 Oct 2018 01:21:30 EST ID:rGErzU24 No.527399 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527397
I forgot to finish that one sentence but it probably didn't matter anyway this time. I'm probably not going to come back to this board. I never post here - this was a one time thing. I can anticipate every negative response you or anyone could contrive and none of them affect me. Some people need a figurative punching bag, maybe one day they wont. See you.
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Clara Senninglock - Tue, 23 Oct 2018 05:40:07 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527401 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527396

My response to you was “good post”.

Strange reply lad. Strange reply.



Money isn't everything by Mike - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 02:26:09 EST ID:w0WIDOXP No.527327 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Well....money is important, but its not everything right? Tell that to my fucking girlfriend.

Last night, it was my friends birthday. So we went over there and started drinking. While the four of us were drunk, all of a sudden came up a topic about money. Now, I work at a company as online customer support. Writing tickets, chats, social media etc..maybe I don't make a TON of money but I make enough to get by, feed my daughter, pay all the bills and from time to time buy my girlfriend something nice. Not too bad but of course, it could always be better. Among us was my friends, boyfriend. He is a self taught programmer that works at a small but expanding company making about 10- 15k a month. The problem I have here is that whenever this topic about money comes up, my girlfriend always tell me "you should apply at his company" "you would make so much more money" because he mentioned that they are looking for people at his job with good English skills (We are in Poland and I am an ex pat) and I would be a perfect fit there and make more money then I already am. The thing is, I like my job that I have. I like the people, the atmosphere and so on and just recently I found out that I have an opportunity in the same company that I am in, doing something different like Marketing and my new salary would be up for negotiation.

When people are drunk they say some dumbass shit, but however dumb or ignorant a person may sound when they are drunk, there is always a bit of truth in what they are saying to you. During this conversation about money, my girlfriend and my friends boyfriend basically kept belittling me (at least that's how I fucking felt) by the dude saying "you make how much? pshhh, I make like four times that amount" and my girlfriend was like "you are never going to make more money in the company you work at" "you are never going to get anywhere" "you should expand your horizons and look for a new job in the meantime"

I kept trying to explain to them my point of view on doing what you like to do as a profession that "if you like what you do, you never have to work a day in your life" they just didn't fucking get it. I…
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Thomas Dartshaw - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 10:33:57 EST ID:WtaXwCzm No.527366 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Take the job, dump her, get promoted over him, fire him, buy a bigger house, get a new Gf, go back to your old job.
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Jarvis Shakefield - Mon, 22 Oct 2018 09:02:02 EST ID:Hoq9Mgj2 No.527383 Ignore Report Quick Reply
everyone tends to want the money you have more than you want it yourself, at least that's true in my case. I'm a young man not making a whole hell of a lot but I'm making my way in life and I'm being attacked by all these bills and fees and tolls and tax... wtf??? i dont even care about money the only thing it's good for is buying me food and drugs.
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Alice Hecklestirk - Mon, 22 Oct 2018 17:27:20 EST ID:tmsl+b2u No.527390 Ignore Report Quick Reply
is it possible that you will like the new job OP? why stick yourself in a rut? Reminds me of aaron hernandez who never left his "roots" with gangs. you don't have to grow but there's truth in what they say.


Ex emailed me----I'm in a new relationship now by Emma Braffingman - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 01:59:34 EST ID:lqlegVeX No.527326 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Ex emailed me----I'm in a new relationship now. Should I reply to her email, or ignore it? I don't want to get back with my ex. My current gf is 100x better than her. But I don't hate my ex, is it wrong to reply to her? I kind of want to just tell her to try the dating site I used since it worked out so well for me. IDK, my instinct says to just delete the email thoughts?
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Archie Lightshit - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 00:06:40 EST ID:DmE7tPmw No.527353 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527339
My dad talks to ALL of his ex’s.. but not while his gf is there hanging. It’s better that way! Why are you all over analyzing the situation?
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Emma Doffingspear - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 02:52:10 EST ID:lqlegVeX No.527359 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527353

I didn't know if talking to an ex is just a "no go" when in a relationship. Maybe I'll ask my gf if she's okay with it and reply if she says so?
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Priscilla Worthingshaw - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 04:15:06 EST ID:BMrBkVc9 No.527362 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527351
More likely she's going through a rough patch and wonders if the feelings imbalance is still there so she can get some tide her over sex from someone she knows isn't a completely worthless human being.

Or she may genuinely just want to know. You were a significant part of her life and maybe she just wonders.

You can answer but be cool. Talking to exes isn't a no go, but you need to respect your current partner. Maybe "in passing" just mention your new girl is nice. Continue like your ex is an old friend. If she starts hitting on you and she knows you're seeing someone else in a non open relationship then she's not respecting that person. At that point you should probably tell her to knock it off (pointing her at the dating site maybe) or just stop talking. As far as your current girlfriend goes consider that she probably won't be thrilled your ex is in touch but unless she's unreasonable she should be at least okay if you made it clear you're not available pretty early on. If she finds out another way she'll be more upset and considering you're worried.

You know what. Here's the best solution for the sake of your relationship: Ask your current girlfriend what to do. Tell her what you told us. "You're 100 times better but I don't hate her. I kind of want to point her at the dating site" see what the current one says. This can "go wrong" but only if your current girlfriend isn't all she's cracked up to be.


QQ? !QQ by Beatrice Dibblepog - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 23:10:08 EST ID:N8SnPlnn No.527347 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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All of my problems and crippling self-hatred and obsessive thoughts suddenly vanished and I feel incredibly powerful. I post here to notify you all of this. BOW BEFORE ME, MORTALS
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Archie Lightshit - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 00:03:21 EST ID:DmE7tPmw No.527352 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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How did you do it?


Relationship shit by Henry Clibblesatch - Mon, 07 May 2018 09:13:56 EST ID:A8o246TI No.523917 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How does one deal with the fact knowing the girlfriend/fiance has sucked other various cocks with the same lips that kiss you, has been dominated by other various men before, has been cummed in her mouth by various other cocks in the past?
This is killing me lol, as funny as it may sound. I will never love her truly and it sucks. To make things worse, she was the one who literally told me about all this stuff in the start of our relationship.
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Ebenezer Wavingcocke - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 21:17:23 EST ID:asgjCqsC No.527296 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527294
So yeah that guy has to feel like he's in control, which is normal, so he's got this idea that he's a bad guy and using everyone around him. They are they masses and he is above them and fucking them over because he has to. Because he's a monster and that's the only way he can live in this world

Truth is he's just a dude going through some shit and he's done some shitty things but who hasn't?
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Charlotte Shakebury - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 22:53:39 EST ID:GiCOfox9 No.527298 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you can get over her sucking dick by you sucking dick
it's not really dirty, tho genitals have funny smells
don't be such an uptight bitch about it
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James Crebbershit - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 11:07:49 EST ID:TGBxjEDz No.527337 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>523981
Based Walter


I'm a fucking loser. by Frederick Hollerkune - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 10:16:00 EST ID:IhsaKBVd No.527332 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey guys!

It's me again. Some of you might recognize the way I'm writing and what I'm writing about, since I'm back here almost every autumn and winter. Earlier I've been writing about heavy depression, isolation, things like that. This is unsurprisingly in the same vein.

So, I've been moving around a lot. It's usually because when fall arrives, I get crippling depression and have to move back home to my parents, but when spring arrives I want to get my life in order and get something going, you know.

This summer I felt more confident than I've done in years, I moved into my friends house, tried to get a job I wasn't able to land anything despite several good job interviews. So I've been very stressed out about bills and economy, things like that. Recently I've also been to a court case, because I witnessed a murder in the spring, when I (quite unsuccessfully) tried to improve my grades from high school so I could be finished with it. It didn't really phase me then and there, but after re-living events in the trial I got pretty exhausted in a way. This hasn't gone away, and I've started to become increasingly depressed and been contemplating being institutionalized, or moving back home.

The thing is, how much more moving back and forth can I keep doing? It's incredibly expensive to have that as a habit, especially for my parents who usually have to help me out economically through the moving period, it really fucks with my self-esteem to be 23 and still be fucking nowhere in life, also living in my childhood-room doesn't really give me the confidence or incentive to meet girls, and I'm honestly a incredibly lonely person that valuate myself a lot according to how my life in romance is doing, and I haven't had sex in maybe two years now.


On the other side, I don't think I can live here with my friend as I am depressed. He has a career, a kid that's here every now and then, and I know that my mood will affect his mood. This goes both ways luckily, and more often than not we cheer eachother a bit up instead of glooming eachother down. He is very kind, and I know that he would be bummed if I had to go still, also he'd lose income as I pay as a tenant.

Now I've used a lot of time and energy on creating ties with the local psychiatric facility, which is honestly just a little team of psychiatric nurses, so it's also the whole stress about opening up to a brand new team of people and get the local unemployment-office to help me with my psychiatric bills and etc etc.
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Frederick Hollerkune - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 11:07:02 EST ID:IhsaKBVd No.527336 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527333
I've been wondering if it might be seasonal depression, and I tried to get ahold of such a lamp one or two years ago. I don't remember the specifics, but I couldn't get ahold of one because I needed to have it prescribed or something, or else it was too expensive. Do you know what those lamps are called? Because it's without a doubt a very good idea, and I'm 100% sure that seasonal changes fucks with my brain hardcore. Especially since I live in fucking Scandinavia.
You're completely right in that life isn't going the way I was hoping, and I don't like where I'm at right now. It's just that all of these constant setbacks makes it impossible to get anywhere. It feels pretty impossible at least, I know people in way way way way worse conditions that have pulled themselves up and all that, I'm just seemingly unable to because my mental health is so inconsistent from week to week and month to month. I try not to beat myself up over it, but it's just so hard when you're so envious of everyone else, even tho I know on a cognitive level that everyone is, partly, suffering. Luckily my parents are pretty aware of my mental issues, seeing as they've been taking care of me through months where I couldn't go outside or let alone get up from the couch. I know they care, I just also don't want to make them sad or worried about me, because I really want them to be happy and don't feel like they let me down. Moving back home is way more problematic for me than for them, which is honestly kinda lucky I guess.
This is very sage advice either way, and I appreciate you took the time to help me, I really needed to vent and to just feel like someone heard/read my thoughts made me feel a lot better. :) I really fucking hope I'll be able to manage my shit and pull on my big boys pants soon, and maybe this is the turning depression where I'll finally understand what's going on and how to actively come to terms with it.
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Nicholas Bardwater - Sat, 20 Oct 2018 18:45:24 EST ID:BMrBkVc9 No.527341 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527336
I googled "seasonal affective disorder lamps" and found a load. The price for one which has been scientifically tested and approved is around £100 so about 3 euros I guess. Seriously though they're not cheap but they aren't super expensive and don't need a prescription. I suspect the more depressed you tried to rationalise not doing anything though. Scandanavia is pretty much the worst place in the world for seasonal affective disorder (the name for it). I don't think this is your only problem but I think it's part of it.

If there's things which have a genuine chance of helping you long term and your parents can see that I suspect they'll be happy to help to the extent they can. It's possible one of them actually suffers in a much milder form than you but because your brain shuts down they don't notice. Maybe if this does help you it'll help them directly too.
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Hedda Gassledit - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 16:30:05 EST ID:WB75qOJ8 No.527419 Ignore Report Quick Reply
SAD lamps can trigger bipolar disorder in people prone to it. Be cautious, bipolar disorder is more common in people with seasonal mood swings than without. Do not use one without a psychologist's monitoring and input. You could end up involuntarily committed or dead if you fuck this up (and people on this site LOVE to shit out advice that gets you into legal trouble or dead because they hate everyone).

You're using a powerful medical tool. You wouldn't sling prozac down your throat without a doctor's say so... don't think because you can buy this shit off Amazon it comes with no risk.


1 year later by Ebenezer Brapperfield - Sat, 13 Oct 2018 06:07:34 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527141 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1539425254620.jpg -(39503B / 38.58KB, 400x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 39503
October 2017
  • deep in the void of 6 months into unemployed, isolating myself, no chicks, no social life, no nothing not even weed, would wake up and porn, Netflix & Xbox (not even forums), contemplating suicide because I got sectioned for the 2nd time. I was moving so little that I’d lose my balance walking and my hands hurt from Xbox. Didn’t think I was going to move on from my ex.

October 2018
  • been working out, had sex / mini relationships with a few chicks this year, been drawing a lot, got a job that gives me 20-30hrs a week, social, confident, doing fun things. Still broke, still a bit of a loser for my age / level of education but fuck it.

Idk, I remember some of my posts here last year and felt like celebrating. Things are better, things got better. Things are going to continue to get better.

If u going through something, give yourself the time required to make a change. Small steps lead to big progress n all that.
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Ian Greenman - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 02:04:20 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.527243 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527211
*there's

i'm just kidding my lad

i only made this post because i wanted to call someone else my lad

but seriously you're doing an incredible thing there

i recommend meditating. there is absolutely no benefit in saturating yourself with things like despair.
also make the effort to see the positive things, what you still have, because this is what determines your life experience
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Charles Hinnerhood - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 02:14:11 EST ID:jnas4L6T No.527244 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527243

meditation is wholesome and worthwhile, my lad
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Sophie Blodgeway - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 21:38:23 EST ID:FyH3D2K2 No.527297 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527243
I meditated yesterday and today. Its helping me a lot. I feel a bit more balanced and grounded. I know the more I do it the greater the reward is. I meditated everyday for 1 year straight. So, I know what it can do for someone.


Family business by Scott Sizerham - Wed, 17 Oct 2018 23:40:42 EST ID:GiCOfox9 No.527258 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1539834042095.gif -(815012B / 795.91KB, 480x270) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 815012
My mother doesn't like my wife, and we're all on drugs.


pic unrelated
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Thomas Gecklespear - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 03:58:58 EST ID:a3rIXcd8 No.527263 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Quit your job then.
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Esther Subblepine - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 13:12:09 EST ID:eUNsGCnf No.527285 Ignore Report Quick Reply
upgrade your phone
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Jack Dackleshit - Thu, 18 Oct 2018 14:06:50 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.527286 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527258
You should eat more fruit and vegetables also do some exercise


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