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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

I must tell you all...

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- Sun, 21 Jul 2019 23:11:58 EST 6AWMGWu+ No.530563
File: 1563765118930.jpg -(114656B / 111.97KB, 624x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I must tell you all...
I am Obama's nephew
Fuck Bogglesin - Tue, 23 Jul 2019 12:42:01 EST Lny7/LNo No.530580 Reply
You're still going to have to get a fucking job like everyone else, Martin.

my mom is a problem

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- Fri, 12 Jul 2019 15:36:08 EST fYcEWufn No.530385
File: 1562960168457.jpg -(12415B / 12.12KB, 200x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. my mom is a problem
i'll try to make this post as digestible as possible since any callout to a family member seems to get preventive mixed reactions regardless of its content
either way, i love my mom, she's a sweet person, she took care of me with her best efforts for all of my life and i will always be grateful to her for that
but me and the rest of my family have come to the point where we can't just bear her presence in our life anymore, not me, not my dad, not my brother, all for different reasons
what's the deal? she's just... not bright, and its not like einstein blood runs in our family, far, faaar from it, but the wide disconnect there is between what everyone tells her and what she makes of it is laughable
everyone's tired of starting a crusade every single day over stuff that could be easily solvable if dealt by someone not necessarily smart, but functional, only because she can't be bothered to listen to any point of view that doesn't perfectly match hers
and if it were only for me i'd go "whatever, moms gotta mom, its bad but it could be worse", but she is cutting ties or making them harder to maintain with many people in both my family and hers
she brought this upon herself, but i don't wanna see her like this, she's not selfish, she has not bad intentions, she's just... dumb
god i just want to help her to be a happier person but any attempt i make at an intimate conversation ends in me istantly wanting to give up because she's just so unaware of how she's perceived by people
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Hamilton Fupperson - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 06:46:33 EST pfQYdJPP No.530530 Reply
Listen loser, if you're going to sit around and confirm everything you have in your head, start a blog.
Martin Gugglenotch - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 14:21:35 EST qTml9FbR No.530541 Reply
1563646895539.jpg -(56233B / 54.92KB, 256x256) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Shit I'm totally listening to that album right now dude, fuck yeah. Can you believe they started playing again? New music and everything, I might see them live this fall. nb.

Wasted last decade of my life

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- Sun, 14 Jul 2019 23:58:42 EST qO/8g1OW No.530426
File: 1563163122565.gif -(142953B / 139.60KB, 500x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Wasted last decade of my life
>been on various *chans for the last 10+ years (since late 2007)
>haven't accomplished shit in that time and just squandered a lot of time and money on bullshit
Why can't I work towards anything meaningful? I feel like I'm always saying tomorrow but tomorrow never comes and the years just whittle away in the meanwhile.
15 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:45:53 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530502 Reply
If OP stops contributing to the internet we could fucking kill myself
Cedric Fablingnene - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 12:40:07 EST Lny7/LNo No.530509 Reply
Take small steps, and do it on drugs like >>530436 did. Fix the little things about yourself that bother you first. Try out new clothing, new food, new places with new things. All until you either find something to put effort into or realise you're better off safe in your home.

Is also right, life itself these days is a bit of an accomplishment whether you have a job or spend most of your time behind a PC. Fuckton amount of time that goes into maintaining an adult body, feels so much better when you do though.
Nell Bremmerdale - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 15:47:08 EST nrs1TIWF No.530511 Reply
this is me too, op. i just don't care anymore. wish i was dead. i don't want to make an effort because it all leads to shit anyway. i'm very good at procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities. i got bills to pay but have been unemployed for months. the bill people are calling and mailing me and i ignore it. they can just turn off the service idgaf. i want to be successful but i hate living in this society. let me waste away on chans for some tiny bit of happiness before i finally get a chance to off myself.


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- Sat, 25 May 2019 03:30:20 EST +eu7fILs No.529527
File: 1558769420064.jpg -(11397B / 11.13KB, 239x211) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. tired
what do i do if im always ungodly tired. like you have no idea

>need to sleep 12 hours a day
>still tired
>tried 7 hours a day for months
>just get more more more more more more tired every day
>feel completely out of it
>need to eat non stop greasy fat ass food like deep fried pizza shit to have energy non stop
>stimulants make me tired
>long acting stims like ecstasy will make me feel so tired i feel scizo or something my brain doesnt work right and i feel so crazy and restless
>eyes are always black
>as soon as i wake up my eyes hurt
>cant sleep at night
>usually sleep all day stay up all night ruining my life
>my eyes always hurt burn and sting
>the bottom part of my eye lid under my eye is completely black purple and red going down all the way to my cheek
>always feel sick
>cant even keep my eyes open after 12 hours of sleep
>the bottom part of my eye lid thats completely black fucking hurts stings and burns all day long
>the entire time my eyes are open they burn and sting and feel like shit
>literally look like the joker from the batman movies or uncle fester from that old ass show
>health is always failing
>get nauseas really easy
>if i smoke weed or do anything i just get more and more and more tired
>if i drink alcohol for some reason it half way goes away
>i get energy dont feel exhausted look a little better and healthier
>never found anything that helps better than alcohol
>i am literally always completely destroyed in depression i have nothing good in my life because god rips it all away
>never smile
>just makes it all worse
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David Mandlefane - Tue, 02 Jul 2019 06:21:45 EST l1NmIjLu No.530168 Reply
1562062905850.jpg -(36268B / 35.42KB, 355x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
don't overdo exercise in your case, just walk as much as you can fit in.
Graham Panningstock - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 03:18:09 EST NyncnM+Y No.530503 Reply
Go see an optometrist, your eyes b could be overworking and shit

its been 7 months

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- Fri, 05 Jul 2019 15:40:21 EST 7kSRug3p No.530217
File: 1562355621073.jpg -(142949B / 139.60KB, 960x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. its been 7 months
I put my cat down 7 months ago.

some context: I found him as a stray, he literally came up to my car and jumped in. the next few years of my life were absolute hell as my parents were getting divorced (I was 18 at the time, just graduated) and this cat was so therapeutic for me. he loved car rides and walks. I would take him for long ass walks and despite him being 12 years old he always kept up. then I got into a very serious car accident. then my best friend/girlfriend left me. then I moved away with no plans to get away from my parents violence. my depression and anxiety (I have borderline personality disorder) was through the god damned roof and this cat was my literal saving grace. he went everywhere with me. I even brought him to work every day with me and he just chilled with me in my office all the time.

this cat was my best friend. im not saying that in some stupid corny way but he was literally attached to my hip. I would bring him to the outside market and he would chill in the cart and would get attention from every single person there. my cat was diabetic and it was hard to manage. the last few months of his life it was hard to regulate his diabetes and I just had a gut feeling this was the beginning of the end. january comes around and he stops eating. he would meow and meow at me for food but wouldnt eat anything. he wanted to live so bad and fought it so hard but his body wouldnt let him. he lost 3 lbs in this period and started developing ketones and eventually ketoacidosis. I felt so fucking horrible. I delayed putting him down because I thought maybe he would come to. I didnt want to believe it. then he started trying to hide. I knew I had to do it. I stayed through the entire process and watched him go limp. I've never bawled and cried so hard in my god damned life. I couldnt even speak to the vet techs. I just bolted out of there and they kept saying sorry and all that, very nice people, but I couldnt even talk I just ran out the door and cried and cried. as I type this I'm crying like a baby. full on ugly bawling. its so fucking traumatic for me relive this memory and I keep having to take breaks typing this.

I miss him so much. I feel so fucking stupid. I never cried this hard even after losing family and friends. my best friend died recently and I didnt cry as hard. not because I dont care about them but this fucking cat was my god damned life. will it ever get easier? its been half a year and I still feel just as upset and have my weekly breakdowns. what the fuck can I do?? I attempted suicide twice after his death. I need to find a solution because this is taking over my life. I want him back so bad :( pic related, its my lil dude. im crying so hard right now people are starting to ask what the fuck is going on. its so loud I cant even hide it anymore. fucking christ.
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Augustus Buzzford - Tue, 16 Jul 2019 13:45:55 EST Lny7/LNo No.530456 Reply
Been 10 years and my dog's death is still a fresh wound, so...Good luck, OP.
Matilda Honeyson - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 17:41:12 EST kspz5NC8 No.530492 Reply

I hope you're still with us and I hope you read this.

I'm so sorry for your loss, nothing else compares to the pain of losing an animal friend and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You know it, and I know it.

I had to put my best buddy down September when I found out he had cancer on his heart. It was the worst thing I have ever gone through, I loved him so much.

I ended up taking two months off work on stress leave because I was so gutted. No one knew what was really going on, just that I was freaking out... so I get it.

We spend more time with our furry friends than we do anyone else. We see them daily, for hours and hours. We sleep with them, wake up to them. They see us when we're at our worst and still come for pets and cuddles. They are always there and that's why their loss is so hard. All they are is furry balls of love and it just.. it hurts so much to say goodbye. I don't know if it ever goes away, but it does lessen a bit.

There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

You loved someone deeply, and they're gone now.

I got another kitten. I'm not saying this is right for you, only you can know that. Initially I thought I never would, because I couldn't bear the thought of *replacing* my buddy - but here's why I did.

One of my friends, one who knew why I was so sad - she sat me down and told me I clearly still had so, so much love in me to give, and there were so many abandonned, unloved cats that really needed the love I had, they are hurt or scared or alone don't yet know how wonderful life could be when they're loved - and that I owed it to my old guy to make another little guy's life better, so they could know the love my old guy did. So I went to a special needs cat rescue and got the derpiest little runt, who has a host of problems, but is so sweet and loving, a fat little butterball that loves cuddles.
And every single day I still think of my old guy but I know I have someone else that depends on me now, and I stay strong for him.

I have my old guy's ashes in a jar, and a print of his paw I'm getting inked on, on the anniversary of his death. And just writing this is bringing up so much pain from his death.. I'm crying to myself at my keyboard here.. it feels like I will always have a small cat-shaped hole in my heart, that was exactly his outline. When my little guy goes, I'll have another one. But I still have a lot of heart left, and so do you.

What this guy said:
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Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:42:13 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530501 Reply
That sucks OP but this is a funny part of putting MY dog down which sucked and I cried that might cheer you up

For like two years (yes, two years) before my dog died his asshole was bleeding. How you may ask? Well I'm not sure but pretty often he would bend back and actually bite and TEAR this fucking tumor or hemmorroid or whatever growing on his asshole until it made the sound of cloth tearing and actually ripped and bled and it was just horrific

He did this with people over sometimes

We actually took him to the vet pretty often and they were just like time to put him down but I always put it off cause I loved the guy and like whatever his asshole bleeds constantly, OK

He couldn't shit right after a while and would try to make it to the door but if I wasn't right next to it it was shit and blood on the floor time

Every time he was laying down and would get up there would be a spot of blood on the floor and my mom would see it and shriek in terror and et cetera

Then you think it's all good and he's a good dog and good boy and he gets up mid-nap and just starts fucking tearing his own asshole open

I know this sounds hilarious but I'm dead serious about this, he didn't seem to be in pain so I just let it go

One time my brother took a picture of it and sent it to all his friends with the caption "just got done fucking my dog" lmao

It was the nastiest anus you could ever imagine on an animal and when he would tear the shit open I would try and stop him and he'd just give me this pissed off "fine" look

Still not sure if it was even cancer

Then one day his legs broke and we took him to be put down and my brother was like thank God lol

It really sucked when he couldn't hold his shit for like the last full year and every fucking day I had to clean up this nasty half-liquid stinky dog shit off the carpet that would ALWAYS leave a stain, and of course blood

Sometimes I'd leave it for like four hours cause he'd do it again shortly whatever but the stink would get so bad four hours was like maximum

Being a drunk was alright I guess


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- Mon, 24 Jun 2019 00:23:37 EST Y/IBjRot No.529970
File: 1561350217789.jpg -(40208B / 39.27KB, 190x295) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. help
I've known this dude my entire life and hes always been a weird nerd. A few years back i got him into weed and psychedelics. He got married around the same time and is in a very controlling, manipulative relationship. He has just become weirder and weirder since. He got on anti depressants this year and started seeing a counselor and now his life is fucked.

The other day he came over here and we dosed acid and shrooms all day long. He told me he was gay (I suspected this for years but it feels forced, like a statement) and his wife stallions him and in return he can fuck dudes. He was talking about sucking dick all day long. It was honestly extremely uncomfortable and strange. My brother other brother naked and started telling my brother whose 6 years old that he likes to suck dick and get fucked in the ass by dudes. It was honestly extremely awkward since we've known this guy our entire lives and have never heard him say anything like this and we were all on shrooms.

As the night went on it just got weirder and weirder. He kept mooching weed and cigs even though I had never heard of him smoking cigarettes in his life. It seemed like he was massively traumatized. He defended james gunn for the sex offender accusations which really bothered me. He made a point to tell me that it doesnt matter and i can take my opinion and shove it up my ass. He started talking about how he was an alpha male and his wife was actually the one getting fucked over.

At the end of the night he was talking to some girl about getting his cock sucked that wasn't his wife. He said he was doing it to get this dude to fuck him too. I'm pretty sure he masturbated in my bathroom. He kept asking to see pictures of my dick and calling me beta for not showing them to him. It was very very strange honestly. He kept trying to talk about how powerful and manipulative he was and it all just sounded like bullshit.

I don't even know what to say. I'm so embarrassed my brother saw and heard that. It was so uncomfortable. I could give a shit what he does in his free time but i dont need to hear the dirty ass details for 12 hours. At one point he told me I was a reincarnation of a nazi my grandfather killed in ww2. He seems extremely fucked up sexually and somewhat deranged. I have known this person my entire life and honestly don't care to see or here from him for at least the past 6 months, the shit he was saying was honestly somewhat horrifying.

just had to get that off my chest and don't really have anyone i can talk to about this. Luckily he lives an hour from here now. I'm gonna try to stay busy all summer to avoid him. I don't want to hear about this shit. Theres alot of traffic in my house and alot of people in and out, I live in a popular hipster urban area in a very nice apartment and me and my roommate have many friends. I don't want anyone else to have to hear this shit for hours, christ sake. I honestly feel like a dirty, bad person for even being associated with this dude and that my friend is a deranged sicko.
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Martha Sebblenag - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:48:59 EST j9agoklL No.530497 Reply
Yeah he sounds bonkers even if you ignore the gay stuff. I'd stay away personally.
Nell Brookridge - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:32:11 EST mEnDUHX1 No.530498 Reply
>he was talking about sucking dick all day long

10/10 master post


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- Mon, 08 Jul 2019 21:54:08 EST a7qWLag2 No.530302
File: 1562637248776.jpg -(57802B / 56.45KB, 750x481) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fuck BENZOS
I'm turning 24 this year with so many problems I just wanna end it all. Just gets worse the older I get and no matter where I go for support i never truly get the help I need.

I have debilitating anxiety since a kid and have been on a host of medications. At the age of 20 i was given my first script of kpins after some run ins with Ativan. Kpins for awhile was bliss with weed. Of course my dosages got out of control and i started to mess with all sorts of benzos. Things kept spiraling that I've basically messed with everything at one point.

These things are the only thing that has kept me kicking since around that time i was first give clonazepam. I have continued to take them everyday as prescribed and am up to 2.5mg a day. Life was good for a couple years but now its crashing down.

I've messed around with so many CNS depressants combos i'm convinced my time ain't now. I've never done these combos for suicide, for pleasure, but I've done many that have put people asleep for good.

I'm bingeing on etiz at the moment doing ludicrous amounts. I got cpam once this powder drys up but i'll taper like usual. Life just sucks, I can't function without these medications. I know it was my own fault for taking this shit but i expressed my issues about dependency when i first got the script and he brushed me off. Now i'm stuck
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Reuben Pavingkack - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 15:09:15 EST t0BmBjle No.530486 Reply
Look up NMN, cause that shit works with addiction. Try also googling nmn/nad detox.

Late bloomer.

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- Sat, 13 Jul 2019 01:05:13 EST 7DhEjqUS No.530400
File: 1562994313935.jpg -(69231B / 67.61KB, 680x680) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Late bloomer.
I'm 24 years old and this past year is the only one in which I've been steadily employed, had passions for hobbies, and have driven a car. I could give more specifics about my situation, but just generally: When will I stop feeling like a weirdo manchild and start being able to relate to people? Especially people my own age and people who aren't lonely and needy.
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Jarvis Puckletut - Sat, 13 Jul 2019 09:34:40 EST 7DhEjqUS No.530410 Reply
>You dont feel connected when you show people your strengths and they acknowledge that. You feel connected when people acknowledge and accept the weak parts of you bro.

That's an interesting point I hadn't considered. My problem right now seems to be that I can't relate to many people even though I try to have conversations all the time. I feel like when I talk to creative people, I seem like a stiff who's too caught up in the rat race, and when I talk to people who are more career-oriented, I seem like just what I am: naive and undeveloped. I feel more than anything like I just don't belong anywhere and that it's mostly because I didn't grow up with constant social experience (I was extremely isolated and stuck in a weird situation) and my resume didn't start during my late highschool days like it seems to for most people.

I'll stress the word undeveloped, as it appears above because I feel that that's mostly what I feel that I am and I'm not 100% sure where things are going or what exactly I need to do to feel like I can feel connected to people that are reliable and have things going for them.
Doris Fangerchut - Sat, 13 Jul 2019 19:37:14 EST bZjBiC2x No.530416 Reply
You probably have a bit of impostor syndrome. Most people can't actually see your defects to the extent you can. Because you aren't them you don't realise how incompetent they are. You just assume they're miles ahead. Your actual peers will just be you if you'd been productive a couple of years more, maybe more than that. But they'll know it and so will you.

Lost my ability to socialize?

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- Tue, 21 May 2019 00:19:57 EST meKKp2Ju No.529470
File: 1558412397959.jpg -(96136B / 93.88KB, 750x725) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Lost my ability to socialize?
Ever since I kicked dope and have been relatively sober for the past 5 months(aside from drinking once in a blue moon) I find it so hard to meet people. Like I'll match with women on Tinder and shit and it's like I don't know what to say or I'll over-share. Basically, I don't know how to be normal because I lived so abnormally for so long. Between jail stints and all other types of bullshit I did when I was on heroin.

I went from having so many friends to losing most of them when I was on drugs and only having one right now. I hate feeling like this. I used to be well known for being funny and very extroverted.

Anyone else experience anything like this?
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Eliza Fommerfuck - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 01:55:30 EST JCATCBbz No.530467 Reply
>>529522 >>530460
Except if you don't facilitate anyone else's desires no one will take you seriously or befriend you. You both realize that being a dick isn't going to net you any friends, right? Friendship always comes at a cost. No one is perfect. You're going to have to endure a little shit if you want to converse with a real human being.

I've tried to kill myself 4 times in a year and I don't when it's going to happen again.

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- Mon, 15 Jul 2019 17:39:46 EST wg/43xhN No.530435
File: 1563226786813.jpg -(9739B / 9.51KB, 217x320) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I've tried to kill myself 4 times in a year and I don't when it's going to happen again.
I keep trying to kill myself when I'm drunk by taking huge doses of benzos or trying to hang myself but being too drunk to do it. When I'm sober I think about suicide sometimes but never want to act on it. I've tried to quit drinking and I cut down from 30 UK units a day (a bottle of vodka) to a drink every couple of weeks or so. But every time I drink something really bad happens. Generally I sleep well and eat well and have a goal and future so I don't know what's going on. I've had a very rough time of it during my adolescent years however, problems with family, heroin use, violence, and I think all of it is starting to take it's toll.

I know the obvious solution is to just never drink but i'ts not quite that simple as I'm sure a lot of you know. I just want to know what the hell is going on in my psyche to make me try and top myself every time I lose inhibition and gain the confidence to do it when I'm drunk. The hospital wont help any more they've had enough of me and they are completely fucking useless. I have been taking valium for 4 years and I am dependent on it, but don't get high on them, I mentioned this and the dumb bitch told me addiction and dependency are exactly the same thing and it only takes 4 hours for valium to leave the system with little withdrawal. I called her up on this and she just stormed off like a child leaving me to just discharge myself. I cannot believe people so uninformed can be classed as experts, just because they've been peddling the same shit to drug addicts for 20 years probably with a very minimal recovery rate.

I'm thinking that the combination of diazepam and alcohol is what's really enabling these suicide attempts, being dependent on diazepam for four years has really took it's toll I think. I'm hoping to start a proper taper plan with supervised liquid doses soon, fingers crossed I don't try and end it all again and actually succeed. I don't think a valium overdose is going to do it since last time I took about 500mg with an insane amount of vodka and just had a low blood pressure all night.
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Eliza Fommerfuck - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 00:07:01 EST JCATCBbz No.530461 Reply
Damn, OP, I'm sorry. It sounds like you've had it rough. Honestly though I think that the benzo and alcohol combination is a suicidal recipe. Like one of the posters mentioned I think that you may have some stuff you ought to deal with. That's hard shit though. My recommendation is to taper off the valium while drinking moderately. Get to a point where you don't necessarily need the benzos. Once you're there you ought to be able to see things a bit more clearly. Understand that this combination has killed so many people. I don't want you to die, I want you to understand what's going on and fight it. You're entirely capable of defeating whatever it may be that keeps you in this state. You don't have to die. A better life IS within your grasp. I promise you can do it, just come back here and update us if you're feeling vulnerable or anything. We're here for you. I myself struggle with trying or just going off the rails completely. But seriously, isn't a life long lived better than a short and sad one? Imagine all the world has to offer that you haven't experienced. You CAN do those things. You can do whatever you dedicate yourself to. It's going to sound dumb but don't think about your suicide attempts. Think about what you'll be missing out on if you succeed in offing yourself. You need to make yourself want to stay somehow. Personally, for me that's those things that I HAVEN'T done yet. I know I have a lot of them. I want to travel internationally and become a successful songwriter. I want to have a real life. I want to have real friends. I don't want to run from reality. These things keep me from taking heroic doses of DXM and DPH and/or alcohol. I dream of a real life. We can do it.
Fanny Sungerchark - Wed, 17 Jul 2019 09:47:05 EST doVKhUzH No.530477 Reply
Drinking is like throwing gasoline on a fire if you've got all those other problems too. Quitting drinking won't solve your problems but it will allow you to focus on them so you can solve them. The trouble with drinking is that you get sober and all the problems that caused you to drink in the first place are still there.


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- Fri, 12 Jul 2019 18:03:41 EST Xr0uMuKe No.530387
File: 1562969021947.jpg -(1791859B / 1.71MB, 3840x5120) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Yerp
I feel like a bad person. But I don't feel guilty enough to change. I take things that don't belong to me. I don't feel that happy without getting high even though on paper I have an ok life. Even before I ever used a drug to have fun, I always wanted to try them as soon as I learned what drugs were. I think I might be a secret piece of shit. Low-key fiending for my next high no matter where I am or what mood I'm in. We might die tomorrow though, and these things help my enjoy the moment.
Reuben Pozzleville - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 18:36:33 EST LZcwMVpc No.530388 Reply
Well fuck it then I guess
Basil Nidgetodging - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 19:22:06 EST rJTYfpos No.530392 Reply
Do you have any goals in life, man? Anything you're working toward? Like try to examine if doing these things is helping or hurting you.

Just Being Alive is Exhausting

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- Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:36:34 EST Nwk2nHng No.530366
File: 1562873794776.jpg -(148480B / 145.00KB, 600x941) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Just Being Alive is Exhausting
I don't know how people do it past their 30's, unless they spent their 20's making something of themselves.

Instead I climbed out of a hole and learned to use tools. I became a tradesman. I quit games and porn. I became fit. I learned a second language and continued developing myself as a human bean.

Now after a 5+ year relationship, blown to smoke, I am still living on a paycheck to paycheck basis. I am back in my parents home.

I thought I met my soulmate and she spent this morning barely even looking at me before she leaves for several days out to a festival.

My very soul is just a mirage that becomes a desert full of filth and shit the second you take the time to look too close.

This is probably where I finally bottom out. I have done everything I can imagine to open my heart, be at my best and experience everything life has to offer.

I always liked coming here when the rest of the internet was full of trash, so I thought it'd be fitting to say this here.

I am just so tired of existing. It is never going to get any better - for me.

It will for most of you.
Good luck.
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Samuel Giffingwater - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 17:42:47 EST l1NmIjLu No.530369 Reply
1562881367407.jpg -(62014B / 60.56KB, 736x732) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
If you decide to live there is nothing better than living for the greatness that is possible. Even if you fail or you are already in the twilight there is nothing better than to die living your truth, you find out that all the distractions aren't worth it in the end unless you really aren't able to see something greater in life, if you can I'd recommend a lifelong battle and death rather than lowering your standards to where you lose sight of what was dreamt..
Fanny Seblingsten - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 13:52:01 EST vOBNA1J1 No.530381 Reply
I'm super de duper in the God damn pooper out of control high as absolute fuck on weed right now, man. Hope you made it through ok, either up this morning to to the other side...

Delimma or some shit?

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- Thu, 11 Jul 2019 19:01:44 EST Ki17+5hC No.530371
File: 1562886104461.jpg -(325040B / 317.42KB, 1108x1390) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Delimma or some shit?
So at 29 years of age I finally lucked out and got a girlfriend, had sex, and were still dating. (Before I was a loser virgin.) I don't get to see her often because she lives a hour away and our schedules mostly conflict. After just 3 months of this seeing her once or twice a week she asked me to move in with her. It makes sense because the lease at my current apartment will run out in a few months and my roomie/friend wants to move even father away.
I really like her, if I was to wish up a perfect GF she would be the template with only a few changes. Just seems kinda haphazard to move in having not really spent all that much time together. I've spend a couple weekends with her but 2 days really isn't enough to tell if you can stand someone long term. I mean, if it doesn't work out with her chances are good I won't be able to move back in with my friend, all I could do is go stay in one of my sisters spare rooms.
This also means changing jobs because where I work now (I'm not super fond of anyway) would be like a 2 hour drive one way. I always have trouble finding new jobs because I can't fucking stand retail/hospitality and I cant drive very well so I'm not gonna attempt that as a career and that's like 95% of jobs I see available, but I digress.

So here's the real issue. I fucking love cock. I'm hella gay, but still do like women. I'm ok now but I know at some point in the future I'm gonna really start to think abut what I'm missing out on. Vagina is kinda gross to me honestly. But at the same time I'm telling myself "HOLD ONTO HER THIS IS YOUR ONLY SHOT AT HAPPYNESS." because I spend fucking 29 years soul-crushingly alone. I gave a blowjob once to a friend once, it was fucking amazing. I want to do that again.

I can already feel myself losing interest in her, but maybe its just the initial high of having a GF wearing off, or maybe I'm just realizing I'm more gay then I think I am?
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Edward Shakestock - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 13:33:38 EST uUOICH4f No.530380 Reply
I like dick and pussy, both fairly equally - but I lucked out and married a woman who whips out the biggest vinyl dicks and fucks me stupid with them, wears a strap on and makes me 'blow' her, likes getting anal, etc. TBH I have no issue being with her the rest of my life because damn. Damn.

So unless you have that sexual chemistry with your current gf, honestly..... don't be selfish and put her through shit if you don't really want to be with her. Be honest though, because you never know, she might be a freak, and want MMF threesomes and the likes.

It's OK to have some hesitation in relationships but I think maybe you should go get a dick in your ass. AFTER you end it with this chick tho. Don't be a shitstain with other people's hearts, and do not use other people for your emotional safety net.
Phoebe Bennerpare - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 14:50:26 EST bZjBiC2x No.530383 Reply
I agree with this but I just want to say OP you're raising red flags.
>commitment after seeing eachother maybe 20 times
Dude you barely know her. She's probably nice but she may be crazy and you don't know her well enough. You are already losing interest. You love the idea of proving you can have a woman more than you love her. You are bad news but honestly she's probably crazy or playing the same game as you too.

I mean it may be legit but there are so many reasons to at least stop and think. If not outright GTFO and find a nice man to settle down with instead.
Martin Clebbletut - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 14:54:22 EST +mthBUDb No.530384 Reply
For real, for real. Red flags.

At this point in a relationship, it's a huge one. It's understandable where you're coming from, OP, but it's really dangerous thinking.

what do i do

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- Tue, 09 Jul 2019 19:26:18 EST WNFQju07 No.530328
File: 1562714778020.jpg -(474948B / 463.82KB, 2400x2400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. what do i do
My whole family is dead and I spent my life alone. I'm in my mid-twenties, and working on a degree, doing weird work here and there. Right now I'm an intern. I have no idea how to interact with other people, and I don't feel anything. I'm always an outcast because I don't talk to anyone. And because of that people are often hostile towards me.

I exercise, eat right, everything. I was doing all the "normie advice" shit before I even recognized that I had a severe problem.

My major fears are homelessness and unjust persecution. If I get cancer I'm going to die alone. If I end up homeless I'm going to die alone. If I get thrown in prison for things I didn't do, I'm going to die in there alone because nobody is going to vouch for me and nobody will care.

What do I do
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Lillian Brookhall - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 17:45:03 EST 5hoo7SWe No.530370 Reply
Tired of life but too lazy to kill yourself? Become an electrician! Preferably a linesman or someone who works with transmission lines or does work at high elevations that "require" a harness. That way you can put your life in extreme danger every time you go to work, and nobody can suspect you chose that line of work because of a death wish! In fact, people may respect you for being such a manly tradesman, also the work would keep you in shape.
Power on brother!
Edward Horrystock - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 19:43:20 EST /K54zcif No.530373 Reply
I know it, you know it, they know it. Hello surplus, what should we do with you? People like you are destined to only a handful of fates. I would recommend that you start by reading the air a little. Family, friends were merely an aegis and now you have to turn to what's in your right hand. Stop looking for an easy way out. What you want is to be effective, that's your real desire whether you know it or not. The counterpart to your misery and loss, potentially the only one.

You know they're not ever going to love you right? They love what you do or don't represent. What do you represent? So I want you to visualize tomorrow and the next day, and all the days after until the day the door closes on your wretched lukewarm existence and I can finally breath relief it's over- and then tell me about what you're going to do tomorrow. It should look like:

I'm going to strip out everything and anyone that's become dead weight
I'm going to skip my classes today because I need to buy amphetamines and root my phone
...and I'm switching my major anyways.
I'm opening a savings account
I'm reducing my class load to free up my schedule
Monday I'm going to start scouting properties

And that's your pace from here on out.
George Cublingdale - Fri, 12 Jul 2019 00:13:24 EST 5u3RlB6q No.530376 Reply
lmfaoo i just watched life on the line recently this comment is fucking hilarious

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