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Discord Now Fully Linked With 420chan IRC

Toxic mother, family suffering

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- Mon, 17 Jun 2019 05:55:26 EST g15GzSgx No.529891
File: 1560765326887.jpg -(74893B / 73.14KB, 1024x659) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Toxic mother, family suffering
Hi,

the purpose of this thread is to keep a long and detailed discussion and hopefully assistance on the issue.
I chose to run it on /qq/ as it is equally well-paced as it is comprised of mature anonymous people.

The issue is
>toxic mother (50 years old)

No, there are no 'mommy issues' at least at my side (I'm 25, male) as I have a non-toxic relationship with my mother due to enforced stoicism from an early age. I can handle her (but obviously shouldn't). Stoicism enforced mostly by my father as he was thoroughly aware that it'd be dangerous for me to endure her toxicity without said stoicism.

>father (57)
He's no angel, let's be clear. He was supposed to be the one to keep her in check and steer her right, especially since he's gotten her pregnant at 15. That itself caused her to be very detached from anything not housewife related, further blocking her abilities. The woman is thoroughly afraid of real life.

He is now getting old, stuck doing dead-end menial labor in another town. He lives in squalor, just so he can give her half his paycheck - for her to live in squalor as well. He's seemingly decided for this status quo as he can't argue with her anymore.

>sister (34)
Is the one I'm most worried about. Mother's mother, our grandmother, was almost exactly the same. Continuously forcing bullshit unto everyone, leaving her to die alone in an old folk's home. I myself hadn't known the woman but felt a deep resentment when I met her a couple years prior to her death - mostly due to being aware that my mother has become that same toxic person.

My sister's married and has two little kids. Whenever she and her family comes in contact with our mother, shit ensues. She almost exclusively argues with her husband when our toxic mother is present. It's putting a strain in my sister's family's relationships as well.

>time ticking
We've always been lower-middle class, my sister had no chance of a career even though she's extremely intelligent and capable.

Myself neither, due to (probably) poor diet I've had a series of medical issues during childhood, and tinkering with an old computer my family managed to afford gave me some expertise in scripting due to which I semi-successfully freelanced and have a (although bad) web dev job.

My mother never, once, at any time, ever, budged to work. All she's done for her past 30+ years is cook, clean, and work on sabotaging the rest of us. She's forcing her shit trying to control all out lives and she expects to live on whatever handout we can afford to give her. Oh and since we never had our own house her thoughts are preoccupied with real-estate loans. Because she wants a house.

Still not worn out, healthy, she can always find a job but she doesn't want to. Her bullshit is caused seemingly exclusively due to not having more grounded worries.

So, what do we do?
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Barnaby Chapperham - Mon, 17 Jun 2019 13:52:13 EST Nocxtt2B No.529896 Reply
>>529891

Dude what the fuck your mother had to marry a pedophile who knocked her up when she was a child of COURSE She is fucked up, I bet she has incredible anger issues, i'm pretty impressed she didn't murder you all as babies but if she had any mental health she would have run out on you and gone and lived her own life rather than living a lie, that didn't exactly help you, jesus christ you poor thing. my heart really goes out to you that you've grown up in a family like that, the suffering gets passed on to her kids
>>
Barnaby Chapperham - Mon, 17 Jun 2019 13:54:41 EST Nocxtt2B No.529897 Reply
>>529895
yes, this.

All of your family need to get away from your family. it is very very sick. it is a martian parody of a family and it is making every single person sicker every day, get out, all of you, your mother included, before it ruins your life completely. She's only 50 she can still start over. do not speak to each other again until you have had years of therapy and become your own people.
>>
Nicholas Cabblehood - Sun, 11 Aug 2019 02:30:56 EST url5fTeM No.530943 Reply
OP here, been spending more time with my folks lately and turns out my father's a massive manipulator as well.

>>529895
>>529897

You're right.

Fuck

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- Fri, 09 Aug 2019 22:31:15 EST HlrzP9vM No.530923
File: 1565404275339.jpg -(3832088B / 3.65MB, 4656x3492) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fuck
I feel like shit for bumming a cig off an old lady because my vape coil was done.


I'm trying to quit again and it's hard because I work around w lot of people.

Wish me luck; send me cat photos; or titties. Not choosy. No cat titties.
>>
Doris Gadgekot - Sat, 10 Aug 2019 11:30:54 EST WMON++jb No.530932 Reply
>smoking cigarettes
You're a lost cause.
>>
Asap97 - Sat, 10 Aug 2019 13:46:06 EST 0DOizHVp No.530933 Reply
>>530932

I quit once, I can do it again, I just wanted to exclaim my self-disdain in a constructive manner.
>>
George Gollywerk - Sat, 10 Aug 2019 17:02:05 EST CqNqmshR No.530934 Reply
>I quit once
By that logic you've quit hundreds of times.

Hats

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- Fri, 09 Aug 2019 02:25:36 EST TUQC22QU No.530893
File: 1565331936151.jpg -(30005B / 29.30KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Hats
Fuck you Kirt! You're ruining the anarchy of this board system.
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Esther Pankinforth - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 10:45:24 EST b1N6OUmP No.530913 Reply
>>530898
FOR ONE I'M FUCKED UP ON DRUGS AT THE MOMENT MY GUY HAHA
>>
Albert Hucklebot - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 12:20:12 EST TUQC22QU No.530914 Reply
>>530898
Basically? I created the chans and would like attention plox.... Also someone unfairly locked my crazy board despite it's relative relevance to /qq/.
>>
Albert Hucklebot - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 13:55:14 EST TUQC22QU No.530916 Reply
>>530913
Why is your trip code green? Does 420 know you,ve been blazing it or that you're deathly ill or some such?

Brainwashing

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- Thu, 08 Aug 2019 11:08:27 EST TUQC22QU No.530865
File: 1565276907545.jpg -(2540879B / 2.42MB, 4160x3120) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Brainwashing
Can we have a mind cotrol thread
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Albert Hucklebot - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 23:31:20 EST TUQC22QU No.530888 Reply
I'll start out. The "govournment" makes time repeat for me, and they physical torture me. The time repetition is probably the most mindfucky. Also they make me unhealthy. One thing they do is make me smoke, I gave up for years and after numourous visits to the psych ward(torturous visits) I have an addiction to smoking again. They have been threatening me with various types physical of torture for montjs now. And that's not counting the physical torture they put me through every few days, restless legs, stress and a type of arousal torture. I haven't been able to think of anything but them for mounths because of mind control.
>>
Albert Hucklebot - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 23:42:12 EST TUQC22QU No.530889 Reply
Some foder for you all in you anonymous parusing. This sort of thing exists! That's all I'm saying. May the next generation bar themselves from birthing children unless they truely can protect them.
Also the gangstalking is benighn for me but regardless desturbing. Thought actually that might not be true, a few situations I found myself in could have become quite traumatic regardless of the physical tourture I've been going through. I know atleast one other person on here is a victim of mindcontrol abuse yet, I wonder if you ALL are under the influence of the Great Powers That Are regardless of a negative state of being or not. I envy them.

how to avoid my sister

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- Wed, 07 Aug 2019 16:38:47 EST qSBAVAm/ No.530857
File: 1565210327431.jpg -(47434B / 46.32KB, 400x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. how to avoid my sister
>sister has some sort of mental disorder
>when she is stressed she begins accusing me or my parents of various things while breaking down
>she keeps inviting me to spend time together, movies, museums, etc.
She, btw, constantly do this. She is constantly an annoying prick but then once a month or so she suggests we go do something together. After having experienced her breakdowns several times I have decided that I really don't care about her and I must somehow avoid her as much as possible.

How do I repeatedly decline her offers without her going even more mental? I can't avoid her 100% btw because I live with my parents and she visits now and then.
>>
Barnaby Sangerlutch - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:22:29 EST ZyAKcTrV No.530872 Reply
"No thanks I'm busy"

"I'm sorry I'm busy"
>>
Rebecca Dendletat - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 17:32:41 EST mx986IvR No.530879 Reply
>>530857

Just block her phone number locally I.e. sent straight to voicemail (from your phones settings.) If she presses; tell her it must be the towers; if pressed further; blame the phone company; if she presses further Tell her your phone is broken and you 'gotta wait for the update'
If she presses further; tell her the update didn't fix it so the phone company had to order you a part.
If pressed."damn part for my phone is stuck in China."
If pressed "it's probably on a boat somewhere"
If pressed "it's probably at a port somewhere stupid under a lot of shit"
If pressed "it's probably stick at customs"
If pressed "it cleared customs but now it's stuck at the sorting area"
If pressed "it's probably on the plane to here"
If pressed "it's most likely stuck at another sorting place"
If pressed "it's probably on a truck somewhere"
If pressed "it's probably in the city; after all it was coming from China"
If pressed "It's probably going to be here soon;..."

Make up some bullshit about how the part that was for your phone was for the euro model phone because a mistake with the shipper and then you have bought yourself another six months.

She will either :
A. Get the hint
B. Buy you a new phone out of mental illness or well Justice for you; you amazing person.
C. She will be ????
D. Profit.

>>530857
>>
Fanny Challyfield - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 21:12:21 EST V6inbDPQ No.530886 Reply
Sounds a lot like an ex of mine. Some kinda borderline thing. She'd always want to go out and do stuff and then nearly embarrass me to death throwing fits or get really pissed at everyone around.

Go to the zoo, sweet. No, theres nowhere to buy water and I'm an idiot for not bringing some, then it's too expensive when we go to buy it, and theres too many kids in the way, and somehow i planned this all as a way to prove to her we should've stayed home because deep down she thinks i didnt want to go.

Movie theater. What could possibly go wrong?
Of course, surely i was flirting with the teenager who ran the snack stand register because i was smiling when i paid. And halfway through the movie she informs me I chose the worst seats on purpose because I hate her or some shit. And why dont I look at her more during the movie, am I thinking about the snack stand girl?

Life was so good damn stressful and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells like that. It's sad because it's your sister and not some random chick you can just leave. The tragic part is shes probsbly aware of how miserable she is to be around in hindsight and really does want to spend time together.

Idk OP you could tell her you're sick of her meltdowns and that's why you dont wanna hang out, recommend she seek help. But that will most likely just cause a meltdown and her resenting you for 2 or 3 days before bouncing back and asking to hang out.

There is no proper medication as far as I'm aware

78122

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- Tue, 06 Aug 2019 17:39:17 EST BCH+gKR5 No.530831
File: 1565127557985.jpg -(25755B / 25.15KB, 576x306) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 78122
I live in a rural town where if I receive any mail without my PO BOX on it, it has to be manually sorted by a butthurt lady and sent back to its original address. Anything I can do to make this lady quit and get a life? How can I get her so much junk mail she quits?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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Hannah Smallson - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 19:35:41 EST BCH+gKR5 No.530836 Reply
>>530835

Every one I deal with sees I have a real address, requires a real address, and erases the PO BOX...
>>
Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:30:30 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530853 Reply
how do i deprive some randomer of her livelihood for no reason
>>
Betsy Fuckingworth - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 16:40:41 EST yS+J0n9b No.530875 Reply
>>530836
Then address it to read like apartment/unit number. If your PO Box is 420 for example:

John Doe
123 Fake St.
# 420
Anywhere, USA

I love you all

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- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 19:10:49 EST 5hiGIQ1X No.530811
File: 1565046649907.jpg -(198544B / 193.89KB, 500x821) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I love you all
I love you
>>
Phineas Fosslewill - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 19:04:36 EST oaTsjcKn No.530834 Reply
>>530811
I relate way too hard to this picture and I'm fucking married and we have a great relationship. I just worry one day she'll realize she can have so much better than being with me because I'm not awesome. If she did leave, or God forbid she died, I really don't think I could go on. I think it would be time to say goodnight.
>>
Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:59:01 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530855 Reply
1565197141240.jpg -(12499B / 12.21KB, 183x275) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>530834
third-ed

they say you can't love another before you love yourself but that's bullshit, what we got is this love built on 0 foundation and it crumbles and shakes and sub-cedes and we live in it, terrified it will collapse, but if your partner doesn't hate themself that can be a scaffolding to try to compensate but it's hard for them when all the love is just hanging off their scaffolding waaaaaaaaaa
>>
Cornelius Chaggleput - Thu, 08 Aug 2019 17:47:08 EST FkOylYSb No.530881 Reply
>>530855
yeah if I had to wait to love myself before I loved another uhhhh
forever a spider monkey's butt.jpg

purging/starving/drugs

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- Wed, 31 Jul 2019 22:42:18 EST Je9nm5wp No.530711
File: 1564627338301.png -(1022116B / 998.16KB, 907x788) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. purging/starving/drugs
anyone else have an ED? For the past few weeks I've been doing this cut, like 500 calories a day or less, and then just now I drank for the first time then I binged on like 3000~ calories worth of food then purged it all then chugged another bottle of wine and ate 75mg of ephedrine. I've been on Wellbutrin which helps with appetite which allowed me to cut for so long, I've lost a little over 30 pounds in less than a month, I've lost 70 pounds since january, but I'm terrified I'm going to binge like this again, I'm adding ephedrine to my daily regiment, I try to cycle 30-90 minutes a day, but it's never enough, I want to cut myself open, I can't deal with being this grotesque, I'd rather my heart blow up from stimulant/diet pill abuse than keep going on as disgustingly hideously atrociously fat as I am, I'm so fucking scared to eat, it's easy not to eat at all than eat a little bit, once I start eating it's so hard to stop I'd rather not at all, I've been slipping, I need to eat a little bit so my metabolism doesn't slow to a halt but at the same time I feel like fasting until I'm thinner, I genuinely don't care if I live or die I just don't want to be this way anymore

I remember reading about this diet drug that was banned, helps with weight loss but has a tendency to cook you from the inside out, can't remember what it is for the life of me, anyone know? I don't care what it does to me on the inside as long as it fixes me on the outside. What drugs work better than ephedrine? I can get my hands on almost anything. Fenphen? Meth? I really don't fucking care.
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Jarvis Fanson - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 05:34:01 EST Uy/1xd7+ No.530843 Reply
>>530711
OP not sure what country you're in but look up PGX Daily.

They are capsules you take with a lot of water/small meals and they swell and fill your stomach. You feel full basically forever. I can't successfully cut without them, they really kill the hungry feeling. It's recommended you only take 3 per meal but I found you can go up to five, you just shit more.
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Edwin Clidgedork - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 12:28:25 EST dJD1QpV2 No.530852 Reply
Choose between therapy and heart failure
>>
Barnaby Cliffingpot - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 08:46:57 EST UZV2PD9H No.530911 Reply
>>530852
Ehhh but only one of those choices is free and actually serves a purpose.

disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter

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- Wed, 31 Jul 2019 00:08:01 EST NrPFGDzD No.530696
File: 1564546081676.jpg -(23818B / 23.26KB, 256x182) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. disgusted by the homeless in this homeless shelter
> bunk bed in a single big room full of 30 or so homeless people
> no phone use permitted
> no talking
> everyone farting, coughing, sneezing, etc. all night
> complete disregard of all manners or class
> everyone is either mentally ill or an old drunk
> staff are cool, but get mean since these people fucking suck
> again, constant showings of unhealthy living by everyone in the room
> dirty looks from bitter old people for even pretending to be happy about my life
I am so lost right now.

Trying to do better than my best every single day. I just moved back where I spent all my schoolyears from across the country after a two year leave. Haven’t found stability since returning just yet. Kind of wanted a tasted of the struggle, this is just unbelievable.

I have friends who told me to come back and things would be easier with all of them, but nobody stayed in touch like they said. Cant blame anyone but myself you know.

One friend does, though, who lent me a bike, another lent me a backpack since I lent him thousands of dollars before I moved. People in my life still give a shit. I have people here assuming I work here not stay here. I get mistaken as an employee or official who knows what’s going on in places I have no affiliations.

I know this is not where I am meant to be
and I know I have more potential than this
I got here because I aimed to and now I aim to get out.
I can do this. It’s just so hard. I use earbuds to block most of this out

I dont wanna go to girls in my life like this, I dont wanna go to anybody like this, and even if I did I still haven’t yet landed a stable job. I start my next one tomorrow at friendly’s, another interview for stocking Aug. 2nd and can land interviews like Im walking a dog.

I just cant seem to make people stop hating me so much because I am young and stupid and in my mid 20s looking like I think I know it all, but I cant help it I need to be confident in myself during this. I walk into the TV room here and its like Ares the God Of War just walked in, drawing the worst out of people without a word. Some people approach me for healing and guidance, like they’re so delighted to hear from me or be in my presence and yet others are infuriated and wanna break me down.

I dont know why I wrote this. Thats all for now.
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Edwin Grimhall - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:19:11 EST yUhAjzvV No.530797 Reply
Sounds like you're taking your self and your abilities too seriously man. I'm basically the same way at work with wanting to be the best, but I rarely compare myself to anybody else on the line at the factory I work in (usually because I'm clearly better if for no other fact that I care enough to do my job quickly and correctly all night long (work 11 hour night shifts). Since the attrition rate at this place is retarded, the fact I've been here and regularly do multiple different jobs a night I've had more time to actually get that good skill wise on top of having motivation. Honestly, there's no point in comparing myself with anybody on the line unless I'm after self-aggrandizement or am doing it to try rationalizing to myself I should be mad at the others for not working as hard as me.

I find both of those reasons are retarded. The need to self-aggrandize, especially in public, isn't a show of confidence, it's a show of insecurity. I really don't care how good I am for any other reason than I feel like doing less than that is unacceptable. It's pathetic weak entitled bullshit unless you happen to be legitimately sick or have some kind of injury.'

Now, tbe second reason for comparing myself for others is just to come up with an excuse for why I can be mad at others that has a legitimate sounding reason behind it. I find this it the more pathetic and slimy of the two, because it's inherently self-aggrandizing, promotes being a condescending fuck wit nobody is going to like (and for good reason), and on top of that you're so uncomfortable in your own skin and how you actually feel that in order to express your anger for others you have to come up with some gay ass pretext do it with---which again shows insecurity because a fear that others won't validate your feelings on their own merit so you come up with a bullshit one they really can't argue with,

Overall, I think comparing yourself to others, except in very specific situations where you find somebody has come along you're actually able to learn something from and now you need to master that too, is a behavior that signifies arrogance more often than confidence.

Now, considering I'm pretty confident with my work performance and everything, I don't view or treat others condescendingly based solely on how or work ethics and abilities stack up with one another, and I don't go around acting super great and soaking it up when people ask about how to do something. I mean, like I said, people quit so often here that being here for 2 years just means I've been around enough that I can probably answer questions they have. It doesn't mean they're looking up to me or some weird power fantasy fanfic shit you wrote there at the end.

Lastly, most important to note, everybody I know of at work likes me, and I'm pretty confident in my abilities. Why do you think you're hated by half of the people? There's a guy on my line who's okay but thinks he's better than he is and he gets mad at others' problems a lot, and people go around calling him an arrogant fuck because he's kinda being one. Usually if I can help people I do, because I feel like I'm good enough and been there long enough that if I didn't help, I'd be a fucking shit bag.

So in other words, despite being totally confident in my work ethic and ability to perform, I help people out all the time when it's possible and nobody would otherwise expect me to and I literally can't think of the last time I've spoken aloud about how good I am at a job I do on the line that didn't involve training a new hire and assuring them that the job they got is pretty easy in a few days while giving a few comparisons to other jobs that suck even when you;re good or fast at them. In other words, I can't think of a single time I've ever bragged.

Given your OP, I'm going to guess you're probably known to either brag a lot of the time or shit on others you deem as being below you because they aren't as good as you... which really just translates to getting away with doing less work for the same amount of pay and at the end of the day and especially outside of work nobody gives shit about anything that happens there. Your problem seems to be you literally see a lot of people as being below you, making you arrogant rather than confident. Check it out man, this…
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Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:10:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530802 Reply
>>530796
There is a term for what you are doing, and it's not a good one. Some call it slumming. Others call it punching down. Whatever the term that may be applied, there is a clear implication. You are not on a path of enlightenment or character-building. Rather, you are attempting to convince yourself of your character by putting yourself in positions where you know in the back of your mind that you're ahead of the curve. This is not building character, but punching down. You're reinforcing your preconceptions and prejudices whether consciously or unconsciously, and it's certainly not opening up your mind or your heart. If I was entirely wrong, then you would not show the slightest bit of defensiveness. However, you are. You're unsure, you're unsteady, and you're lacking self-esteem. I believe that confidence that is entirely fabricated on flimsy pretenses is destined to crumble, and you will buckle under the pressure of hard life decisions as you have time and time again.
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Molly Hushson - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 17:51:17 EST SLZ94LIZ No.530810 Reply
>>530796
I'm not you, but for what it's worth I did something quite like this, too. Moved across the country, took up a shitty job. I wasn't cut out for it. I wasn't of the same social standing as my coworkers. I'm still figuring life out, but there's no reason to aim low.

Online Life Mixing With Real Life?

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- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 18:58:00 EST FO3wrxBb No.530689
File: 1564527480472.jpg -(12302B / 12.01KB, 512x512) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Online Life Mixing With Real Life?
I've been trying dating/hookup apps like Tinder and Bumble this summer. I haven't had much come of it except that I've been running across girls from school/work from time to time.

The school is a fairly competitive grad school. Nothing too harsh but definitely not a place where everyone is best friends.

Initially, I haven't thought much of it, but I'm wondering if a few of them have noticed. One definitely did notice after we matched, and was pretty chill about it, while another from school seemed more negative about it in general. I also met one of my matches through a co-worker and didn't realize it until the month after.

I'm taking a break from all that as I go back to grad school, but I'm wondering if I've changed some girls' impression of me just by being on those apps, or if there might be any repercussions or opportunities that might flow from it. I'll probably just go on with my life as usual unless something comes up.

Any thoughts on what to expect, or on similar experiences?
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George Buzzfield - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:02:07 EST Lny7/LNo No.530807 Reply
>>530803
So how's your relationship lately? Any recent fights? You freaking Hallmark card reject.
>>
Cedric Fucklebury - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 15:17:00 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530808 Reply
>>530807
Whoever you're hoping to talk to through me, you're inevitably going to get disappointed by. The truth is that whoever you're talking to isn't even thinking about you, and that I bothered to even reply to you.
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Fanny Dartbury - Wed, 07 Aug 2019 08:09:15 EST 2CPjhMYX No.530844 Reply
>>530803
>>530807
You're both retards

>>530803
You know that business can make profit and still provide benefit right? The pizza place makes money when they sell me a slice but i still benefit for having pizza. Those apps can exist both for shareholders and sexual deviants.

>>530807
dont get so mad bro

>>530801
I get what your saving here tho. It is nice to have a stoner girl, but its also fucking hard to get a stoner girl. My experience of modern gals is that they can be annoying, self centered huge cunts.

Also this guy already finished this thread.

>>530690

How to break it off with girls I sleep with?

View Thread Reply
- Mon, 05 Aug 2019 04:42:44 EST meKKp2Ju No.530794
File: 1564994564603.png -(247592B / 241.79KB, 487x447) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How to break it off with girls I sleep with?
So, over the past few months I've been nasty as fuck and have been using tinder and bumble regularly to pick up women. As of now there are 3 girls I see on a weekly basis and they all think they're the only one. I told them Im not really trying to be in a relationship but all of them keep trying to push that on me.

The other day I met a very very attractive girl who messaged me through facebook. Talked with her on the phone a bit, she's hispanic like me, she has the exact same political views, same religious views, same moral views, and her sense of humor is amazing and she's an RN that's in school to become an ARNP. I say I'm a christian but don't really practice Christianity but she's a very devout christian who goes weekly to church. Needless to say I see her as a girl who I can actually have a future with who isn't a total skank and is actually a decent person. I admitted to her that I was talking to other people and that I'd promptly end it with them and she admitted she was talking to someone too and would also end it because we both appear to really like eachother and want to work towards having a relationship together.

My problem basically is that I'm too concerned with hurting people's feelings. I know ending contact with them and telling them why is going to definitely hurt some feelings and cause me to experience some backlash.

How should I go about this? I know this is dumb but I'm not good at stuff like this.
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Esther Buzzstock - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 09:08:39 EST lO2GsrM3 No.530795 Reply
>>530794
honesty cannot fail you

tell the truth no sugarcoating
times like this a man has to be stern

trust your self and let the truth defend itself. Speak it, let them be, validate whatever they respond with kindly and break it off.
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Matilda Hingerdale - Mon, 05 Aug 2019 10:50:07 EST A8m11hb5 No.530798 Reply
>>530794
I think that you've got to try to have as much sex as you can with all of them and live your 30s in a cloud of regret.

How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness

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- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 09:13:02 EST c/uAObnR No.530669
File: 1564492382134.jpg -(110208B / 107.62KB, 960x682) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
So, I had a shit past long story short. I suppose I still feel bad for myself and can't quit my self pity.

I always used to get angry that only the popular and attractive are afforded these luxuries. I'd say I was borderline pimp mentality without the virginity. I didn't understand. I was always pushing to do the right thing by securing an income, earning an education, planning a future, and trying to find my way to serve society. I was always angry nobody wanted anything to do with me, and yet chad down at the gas station, slinging crack, just gets to have 4 kids he'll never want anything to do with.
I realize now that this is a shitty way to feel, and perceive things. While I kind of meant it as a "how long do I need to suffer" feeling, it became more of a "I'm entitled" post.
Nobody is entitled to anything, not even life. People are born to suffer and die early deaths from a number of diseases and conditions. I should be grateful and content that I breathe, think, and speak. I deserve nothing else.
I know this... Logically... But I don't truly feel this way.

I get crushed thinking about all my missed opportunities, a childhood I will never get to have, a mentor to learn from, long time friends, missed chances in relationships. However I can't find myself feeling grateful. I mean, I know I should be grateful, but I can't inherently feel grateful for simply breathing and being able to think (let alone an able body).

Has anyone struggled with similar dilemmas?


Pic semi-related. Kind of how I view the state of my mind and feelings, and looking to enter Chad training for believing what I know.
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Jarvis Duckwater - Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:23:21 EST NmYXrgWM No.530749 Reply
>>530741
You're not impressing anyone with your lack of knowledge of popular culture.
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Cedric Fucklebury - Sun, 04 Aug 2019 23:22:04 EST XiHtpV2+ No.530785 Reply
>>530669
>How can I start to accept that nobody deserves love, happiness, family, acceptance, or happiness
Through action.
All of those things are things that you have to earn.
You can start by building a foundation of trust. If you are hurting people in your life or anonymous strangers on the internet, stop it immediately.
Don't obsess about why you do it; simply stop doing it.
You will have the rest of your life to understand why you think and act the way you do long after you've wrecked your life by continuing to do it.

There is a reason you are not yet your grateful for your thoughts and behaviors. Change those, and you will become grateful.
It's very simple.

Abuse and Neglect

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- Sun, 28 Jul 2019 17:45:35 EST DLJORGeq No.530649
File: 1564350335001.jpg -(14334B / 14.00KB, 525x258) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Abuse and Neglect
Anyone else neglected or abused? My dad menaced me and put his hands on me, used to pin me up against the wall up in the air at his eye level. He kept the house like a hoarder house, and he defended it like that. It's not like people didn't know either, family and occasionally friends saw how I lived and nobody said anything. He was so constantly drunk and high he couldn't keep a job and never filed taxed. I normalized a lot of behaviors I shouldn't have.
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Sidney Buzzlelock - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 07:31:50 EST UelVVgpu No.530715 Reply
1564659110352.jpg -(31422B / 30.69KB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Dad
>primary caretaker from birth
>choked my 14-year-old sister unconscious in front of me
>called me pathetic, sniveling, an embarrassment etc if I cried over a sprained ankle or a dead animal
>beat my mom and tried to rape her with me in the house
>abandoned the family when I was 10 despite having raised me, then never called or checked in even on birthdays

Mom
>told me it was okay to let me date/sleep over with an adult as a preteen because she "didn't think he'd make a move right away"
>swings between berating me and threatening me with being put away and saying I'm the only thing that makes her life worthwhile
>still tracking me on GPS at age 23--one time I let it slip for a few hours and she drove to my house several counties away and broke in
>has told me she thinks about her kids when she has sex

just as some examples of the cray cray (there's a lot more, and other abuse--molestation, bullying, medical). I wouldn't have said I was abused until a few years ago though (I'm now 28), speaking of normalizing.

I grew up into a bit of a mess--autoimmune problems (from stress probably), severe PTSD, covered in scars, dated violent people, drug problems, psych hospitalized a lot, chronically suicidal, permanently dissociated, memory problems. I'm crawling out of it now though, so I think it's possible. Haven't talked to my mom in three years (she doesn't even know what city I live in), going to try to work, managing my own affairs.
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Frederick Greenham - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:21:20 EST vFDzrbdS No.530717 Reply
>>530715
In the first days of going online before the web started, every kid had a story like this. It was what brought everyone together.

Gaslighting?

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- Tue, 30 Jul 2019 06:08:36 EST DoK4cjeL No.530665
File: 1564481316561.jpg -(17628B / 17.21KB, 415x738) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Gaslighting?
I think my partner may be gaslighting me. When I speak to him about issues he always tells me that I am just being insecure and offers no real advice. I know I have some minor issues with anxiety but he applies it to every day issues that are not to do with my self worth. What do I do about it? We have been together for many years and have a family together.
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Basil Chunningchedge - Tue, 30 Jul 2019 08:19:27 EST 74/lHxSF No.530666 Reply
What are your issues?

Also, don't make your partner your only source of intimacy. It's a conflict of interest sometimes.

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