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BWQQ : bump when QQ

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- Fri, 17 May 2019 02:16:59 EST cSntlhQ8 No.529418
File: 1558073819757.jpg -(90830B / 88.70KB, 750x739) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. BWQQ : bump when QQ
I searched 5 pages back. Does this board get a bump thread? just vent about feelings and emotions here.

My heroin addict neighbor has been being a bitch to me lately. I can't cuss her out while talking to her, but she has been yelling at me and freaking out. So I'm gonna talk smack about her here. Sorry if this is shit posting.

holy fuck speak of the devil. shes texting me now. i did not even read what she wrote. im gonna delete it. fuck this psycho bitch. she is causing me so much stress. I hope I'm making a thread correctly.
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Molly Pisslepare - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 13:25:27 EST c0hJQZyX No.533817 Reply
1582914327631.jpg -(77621B / 75.80KB, 460x550) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Will turn 30 in June, yet have the social experience of a 12 year old. I had my first and only girlfriend at 21, nothing since then. No hookups, no sex, nothing. I feel like shit everytime I leave the house for too long and see happy couples having fun.
Please kill me, thanks.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 20:07:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533826 Reply
i feel like trash because i essentially wasted my youth.
watching this kind of stuff leaves me literally suicidal. i wanted to express talent but my past was too fucked up, i was too much of a destroyed human being. bladee is basically my favourite artist right now too.
Augustus Punnerworth - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:57:12 EST mttQWkrO No.533835 Reply
1583017032041.jpg -(90327B / 88.21KB, 1022x731) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
aged out of my parents insurance without making a plan, quit wellbutrin cold because i couldn't afford to see a doctor to get a refill, nor could i afford the refill probably and I'm weening off my lamictal for the same reason, but at least with my tapering schedule I have a few months worth left, not really feeling sad per-say except in moments, have moments of euphoria too mixed in, so I'm definitely in a mixed episode at this point but i'm keeping things in check

I've been wanting to stop my meds now that I'm doing a lot better anyway, I just hope I don't go down any further, I'm starting to feel better now anyway, wellbutrin's withdrawal or "discontinuation syndrome" isn't as protracted as I thought it would be

at least spiro and e are pretty affordable without insurance, as are hard drugs and weed, would've turned to alcohol at this point were I not already an alcoholic, I'm not opening that can of worms after 4 months sober, wouldn't do a thing for me at this point

also, ignore the racist connotations of this image, i'm not one of those people, it's just the first one i found in my folder that fit

I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on

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- Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:00:52 EST ObhhTE06 No.533783
File: 1582722052889.jpg -(19567B / 19.11KB, 408x408) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on
>FINALLY muster the courage to go out on my own for the first time in years
>sit down at a pub for a few hours
>2 guys ask to share the table with me on the other end
>I agree but they’re very friendly so they include me in their conversation almost immediately
>both tradesmen, good looking, confident young guys, also so nice and seemed so conscientious it was really shocking to me how sensitive they seemed when on the surface I was even a little intimidated by them
>they are Mens Men in a way that I could never be and all I can think is “why do they even want to hang out with me”
>we spent the whole night together and even though it was only Tuesday we went to a bar/nightclub and they ordered me drinks all night and I’ve never had so much fun
>at one point I called out to one of them with the wrong name and he had to correct me and I apologised so much
>like it was a scene from a movie he smiled and put a hand on my shoulder and said “dont worry man it’s the thought that counts” and I have never been so floored by something and I don’t know why
I added them both on Facebook and they accepted but they haven’t messaged me at all today. Of course not I get why they wouldn’t because it’s no big deal but I’m freaking out here because I’m confusing my feelings of romance with not having any friends for so long and I’m like the typical fucking queer who other men have to watch how they act around me in case I try to fuck them or something. I really hope I stay friends with these guys but I also think I could never keep up with them for so long... In a way I wish I had never met them because I kind of feel so low compared to them and am reeling so heavily all today from the amount of fun I had, but it’s just not realistic for me. For them I’m sure it meant nothing.
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Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:34:17 EST b2U4Jslk No.533829 Reply
Oh wait I do have advice
DON'T be like me where you send them a long message explaining every little thing you're feeling now. Even if they react in a relatively positive way because they're conscious enough to know that a lot of people have weird inner emotional monologues it's still something that alters 'the evolution" of your friendship
But on the other hand, accepting that it's okay and possibly even kind of normal to feel the way that you do as long as you can maintain a measure of self-control might be helpful too
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:43:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533830 Reply
Oh wait and I have more advice, sorry for triple posting, but I think it's important! It's something my therapist told me, which is that you can't assume that it meant nothing to do them. I prefer to see these early stage relationships as a collection of nascent potentialities, and every participant gets faint whiffs here and there while "playing it cool" to conceal vulnerability or demonstrate strength or... whatever reason (I actually don't know because I never play it cool lmao).
I think it would make less sense for someone to hang out with a person all night and for it to mean nothing than for it to have meant something of *some kind*.
I mean I kind of get it because it's like a counterbalance to your erotomania right and you've got that negative self-talk laid down as deeply entrenched neural pathways (tell me if I'm projecting too hard lmao) but all you really gotta do is let stuff unfold
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:50:09 EST b2U4Jslk No.533831 Reply
okay i'm still posting too much i'm sorry but one more thing: also, "normal', non-desperate people aren't threatened by the uncertainty of these "potentialities" the way I assume you might be
to them *the mystique* is exciting and interesting because it doesn't matter as much to them whether they low or high roll, they already have support systems and such in place
Whereas you want them to talk to you, you want to know everything up front, you want that solid foundation NOW so you can stop worrying about what this means
I think that generally you have to play along with this because only a minority is probably going to be accepting of anything else, as excruciating as it is. It makes you a stronger and less insecure person in the long run too I think.

I wasted my potential

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- Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:29:39 EST S6WwTyS/ No.533820
File: 1582928979049.jpg -(195191B / 190.62KB, 1200x1200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I wasted my potential
What's up guys, I just wanna vent for a second, i'm depressed that I wasted my potential, I was a super super senior in highschool due to depression from my grandparents favoring my brother and not giving as much of a fuck in the way of parenting for me so I dropped out when I only had one credit and my senior project to go so now I lie and say I got my GED but I finished one test so far and plan to finish since I was lying before and saying I finished HS but jobs in the state I moved to care about this shit so i'm working on getting my GED but I moved and ran out of funds and now the clock is ticking and I knew I had potential I was good at writing and great with English, I liked history and now I want to get into environmental science and solve the plastic crisis we have going on and other things but I have anxiety holding me back from pursuing my passion and really putting myself out there like I know I could because I have no credibility to back my knowledge and it feels like I fucked my life up. Anyone empathize?
James Fumbleway - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 18:32:12 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533821 Reply
You need to focus on one thing until you finish it, and not worry about other people. Start with one thing and move on to the next.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:37:58 EST VMzmKgcf No.533824 Reply
yes i can relate.
do not neglected personal health. especially any drugs, addictions. fix the stuff that held you back initially, you need to trust that there's still something for you to do in this world. there are opportunities but you can only capitalize when you are properly functional. do not get stuck being the underground man

I want my family gone

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- Sat, 15 Feb 2020 08:40:47 EST /mNuya2g No.533626
File: 1581774047297.jpg -(156073B / 152.42KB, 418x287) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I want my family gone
You know what really pisses me off?

When I express my hatred for my family and there's a bunch of people going "B-BUT FAMILY IS EVERYTHING DDDD" or "B-BUT YOU ONLY GET 2 PARENTS AND YOU SHOULD TREASURE THEM IF YOU STILL HAVE THEM DDDD"

Like, shut the fucking fuck up. You have no idea what my family is like; they're annoying and my life is infinitely better without them. For the last couple of years I have only pretended to be nice to them so they would send me money from time to time, but now that they've cut off all financial support I have cut them out of my life. I still live with them which really sucks (I had moved out previously but had to move back) but I don't talk to them unless absolutely necessary.

You see, my father kept discouraging literally everything I wanted to do. I hate myself for listening, I didn't realise how disconnect my parents were with the current world until recently. Their advice has constantly set me back; I wanted to pursue music, my father told me not to because there's no money and instead sent me to computer school, where during the 3rd semester I simply stopped showing up because I hated it so much. I even had to pay for the tuition all by myself. This was the first time I ever defied him, and how I wish I had done it earlier.

My father never had fun his whole life. He's a miserable fuck. He spends all his money on overpriced furniture (to make it look like he has money, what a fucking emasculated joke) and yells at my mom when there's a minor inconvenience in his life. He acts like he's better than everyone else even though he has no friends or social life whatsoever. His life is go to work, come home, yell at my mom about how there's no food to eat, watch TV and sleep. But the thing that disgusts me the most about him is that he actually praises his lifestyle and wanted me to be just like him. He was against any and all fun I tried having as a kid, hating the very concept of 'fun' believing it to be a waste of time. The way he introduced life to me was basically "Hey it's cool that you're born and all, but there's no pleasure in being alive so you might as well just kill yourself now." and I still have this fucking mentality today. It is so difficult for me to have fun now because in the back of my mind I can hear my father screaming about time being wasted. I hate this.

I feel as though the only reason he married my mother was that so that somebody could cook for him. There's no love in their relationship, and this is the shit I grew up with. I have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.

My mother is just annoying. Everything she says is either cringe or just makes me uncomfortable. She talks way too fucking much about nothing and I can't take it.

The rest of my family is also pretty annoying and I have many memories of my sister taking her anxiety out on me, consequently giving me anxiety. I can't wait to be independent again because when I am I plan to never say another word to any of them ever again. I won't even go to their funerals.

Anybody can relate?
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Ebenezer Dittingham - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 15:01:14 EST oXo9Ddud No.533818 Reply
What are you braindead fucks talking about?

If you're a older, you've had more time to get established. If you choose to have children, you better make sure you can support them in whatever kind of world you bring them into.

You also need to give them the ability to choose what they want to do in life, otherwise they're basically a slave to you.

If you have children just because you wanted to fuck or feel like an "adult", and then give a lackluster life, you're a shit parent. Don't bring life into this world if you aren't good enough to actually take care of it.
User is currently banned from all boards
James Fumbleway - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 18:35:45 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533822 Reply
Maybe not at your level. My mom pays all my bills, I live in one of her houses, she owns all the cars, she pays the staff/cleaners. I don't have a problem with this, it's just how we live.
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:30:08 EST VMzmKgcf No.533823 Reply
just my opinion but it probably made you a way better person. it is always, particularly when young, to be forced to become as good as the situation demands. i guarantee that you aren't someone who sucks, i mean maybe you have some crazy rage or something idk but you are clearly an effective human being. most people are not. i myself suffered from the opposite: my parents smothered me (mom controlling bitch, father is a pussy). mostly everything was done for me and i was taught nothing. i was always left out too because i was simultaneously neglected and helicopter parented, a very weird, crazy combination that basically guarantees you will be on the bottom-rung of society's ladder, especially socially. i was just sort of allowed to coast in a very bad state of health, hard to describe fully but i was 100% a suicide. now i'm some weird loner. frankly i am smart so i have a very good chance of using the gifts that i have been given from my predicament to produce something of quality, which will probably save me in the end. i am a weird loner but i'll tell you that most people will never get out of the loops that they find themselves in. some people are in literal hell, do you realize that?
it's true i wasn't sex trafficked or anything but i grew up in extremely unhealthy circumstances. actually i did get non-penetratively touched once by that fucking idiot, 80% sure but it was a one time occurrence so i let it go. he talks to me like i'm an idiot because i don't relate to him. guy is a fucking moron, no self-reflection in him. studying philosophy in university has led me to the belief that he probably literally doesn't have a soul. doesn't know anything, just puts his head down, the whole family was a satanic ritual lol
you need to have enough faith that what you are is different and legitimate, this is something i was never taught, and i only learned through hating them. nature works in beautiful ways like that. i was given a home and food but i was severely failed, the failed parenting will absolutely destroy you, idec about being molested once, it's the lack of a normal development that is much more substantial. and people need to resist it as much as they can. frankly, it hurts to talk about them like that, but this is the truth and i no longer feel shame for it. they are deeply unhealthy people, and they took everything from me. at least i'm not dead like my sister, long story.
idk, you should focus less on your parents (what you feel is true and you should just let it do its thing), allow your anger to become a part of you, that's the way to integrate these things. i feel better for having accepted hatred for my family, and more on the fact that you are healthy (physically at least), an effective human being, you have your youth with a blank slate. that's the way you should view your life, as an adventure. you need to do the thing that you know you should be doing, and if you can't then you have to look at your life and keep changing things until they, rather than being a problem, are now the things that carry you upward.

anyway all that to say i can relate to you

i will tell you one other thing. when i got away from them, a LOT of my problems disappeared. toxic people do affect you in ways that most can't even begin to articulate, so they are accepted blindly. that will mangle you like it would anyone, because babies are born without having been tainted by the society and the world. i was feeling the truth the whole time, the anger during high school and after particularly, but i got mindfucked into thinking that it was wrong. went something like: feel the feeling and then "but i must be bad because i hate my mom, so now i hate myself because only a piece of shit would hate his mom."


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- Tue, 11 Feb 2020 17:16:22 EST vgf0tTGM No.533575
File: 1581459382179.jpg -(3558933B / 3.39MB, 3024x4032) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anxiety
Does this look serious? Also, what the hell os it? I’m very stressed out over this. Will my house collapse one day? Would this be costly to fix?
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Hugh Brorrygold - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 09:39:20 EST bgNsrXdi No.533718 Reply
>helpfulandy posts photo of bottle
>front of bottle explains precisely what it does
>4chins reject: "what does it dooooo?"
What kind of troll is it when you pretend to be a moron and you're an actual moron but you can say you're pretending... Like what you're doing, what validation do you get from this?
Diddle Maroki Baboki - Thu, 27 Feb 2020 22:53:33 EST gFDxoYPM No.533808 Reply
1582862013461.jpg -(58008B / 56.65KB, 671x517) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I only asked a question. Freaking out but I’ll get over it.

i've made a terrible mistake

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- Fri, 21 Feb 2020 00:50:40 EST mttQWkrO No.533731
File: 1582264240326.jpg -(53943B / 52.68KB, 696x392) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i've made a terrible mistake
i had been living with this shit for years and wrote it down to paying the piper for all my drug use and thought was almost neat, since it'll form patterns and sometimes delirious scenes like I'm looking at something in between my minds eye and my real eyes (idk how else to explain it)

now for some reason it just hit me last night holy shit this is actually annoying as shit and I can't stop seeing it now

my eyes are all sorts of fucked up, blurry because my pupils are always at least somewhat dilated because of medications and harder drugs, terrible accommodation, transient diplopia, near and far-sighted, floaters, constant distortions in space, tearing, patterns, flashes of light, black dots, shadow figures, and this god damn mother fucking snow, gets a million times worse whenever I do any drug, even caffeine, let alone harder stims, weed, psychs, and dissociatives

prognosis doesn't look good either from what I've seen, i wish i could go back to thinking it was kind of cool and like "I was always tripping"

How much of this can be exacerbated by mental illness too? I have bipolar I and when I'm manic it gets about like it does when I'm on amph, or a little less, but there's a stronger element of psychosis, more shadows and lights, and they genuinely scare me sometimes like I forget what's happening for a split second, and occasionally full scenes when I close my eyes, like I'm looking at a picture
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Walter Grandfield - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:11:09 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533770 Reply
That was also the first thing I thought, a lot of those aren't hallucinations, they're just really common things that happen in everyone's vision.
Walter Grandfield - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:13:30 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533771 Reply
I mean that they might be hallucinations, but they'd be the equivalent of hallucinating an extra leaf on a clover for a second, or reading the wrong name on a street sign. Benign things that happen to everyone I mean.
Rebecca Wogglestutch - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 18:24:06 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533772 Reply
You got this from drugs but it sounds like you're still doing them despite them causing you this problem.

The no fun answer here but I found not doing most drugs helps. Look after yourself and don't do drugs for a while and it fades. I got some mild HPPD but it faded if I didn't do psychedelics for a while. It would still return if I was tired or smoked weed but in time even that's become extremely mild and occasional and only extreme circumstances. Your brain does learn to filter out noise, it's a system which recalibrates itself.

I mean in time maybe you can even resume using some of those drugs very very occasionally but wait till you're healed. Also if you're high a lot the same way your brain gets used to sobriety and repairs if you're sober, it will also calibrate itself for your fucked up state and as a polydrug user if you're bouncing between highs that's going to get fucked fast. Especially if it doesn't work that well to start with.

So OP, the answer is be sober and take care of yourself for a few months and it'll improve. Deal with your mental illness, look after your body and after a few more months you'll find it recedes more and more. Don't just resume taking everything the moment the symptoms stop getting worse though. Go until you they are all but done before thinking about doing drugs again. If you fractured your shin you wouldn't resume playing soccer until you were sure it was fully healed.


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- Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:22:21 EST EtHPqQfW No.533728
File: 1582251741431.jpg -(287860B / 281.11KB, 1280x902) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Shit
>grow up in small suburban community, everyone knows everyone, I’m 3rd generation, my grandma moved here when she was 14 and my father spent his entire life here
>literally everyone knows me and my family growing up. My dad was somewhat of a local celebrity due to being a professional athlete
>by the time I graduate high school everyone knows me and either loves me or hates me
>some shit goes down, my best friend kills himself, I leave for good and never look back

It’s been a decade. My parents have moved. Everyone has moved. They tore down the highschool right after I graduated and built a new one that’s one of the best in the state. The price of housing went way up, and everyone’s family sold their house and moved out. The size of the town has tripled, and all of the old school white trash culture that made the town unique is completely gone. None of the interesting characters are around town anymore, they’ve all been replaced with 6 figure white collar turtleneck families, sneering down at you.

I very rarely come out here but I was passing through today and I stopped at qdoba for supper (something new) and I looked around. All these upper middle class people sneering down, I did not fit in at all. There was a point in time that I was the epitome of someone from this town, but it’s changed so much that I stick out like a sore thumb. These new families are fucking terrible. I feel like an outsider in my own home.

Is this what it’s like to no longer have a home, to be free to the world?
Ebenezer Turveyshaw - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 23:47:12 EST XMSqYA1M No.533730 Reply
1582260432098.jpg -(15737B / 15.37KB, 400x273) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
You should seriously consider watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. There are a lot of themes that will help you explore what you're going through exactly.

Sometimes it just helps to have something to relate to for perspective.
Cornelius Tillingcocke - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:03:04 EST EtHPqQfW No.533733 Reply
Thanks, I had a roommate who had the Japanese only n64 game, I’ll have to check it out
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 13:36:53 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533762 Reply
I have moved a bit in childhood and know this feeling. I am not sure I have a home I'd want to return to. Eventually you find somewhere new to call your own. It's a bit weird when someone asks you where you're from and you say "I dunno" but it's not that weird. I guess it's odd when your friends are spending time with family and old friends and you're alone. It's hard. You have to work twice as hard to have a full life. But it's doable.

>digging up an old meme in 2020

Might work. Might be hot air and stupidity. Shinji is a bitch and I am talking about how he dealt with his life pre robot. It annoyed me. Couldn't sympathise because I related too much and hated how he dealt. My housemates were much more into anime than me anyway.


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- Sat, 22 Feb 2020 02:45:00 EST cKRZ+1Ex No.533743
File: 1582357500966.jpg -(90881B / 88.75KB, 379x323) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. obsession???
So I need some advice on what to do here. I've been very obsessed with the same person for almost four years now. Not romantically or sexually, but sort of in an adoration kind of way. Literally everything I think about in my mind is about her. My daydreams, my art, the shit I say is all tied to her. I only see her once a week (max) and sometimes I go months without seeing her, but every second of every day she is in my mind, and I'm not even exaggerating. I think she has just become a part of my thinking process at this point. Like whenever I have conversations or do anything really, I simultaneously imagine that I am filming my life and my actions for some documentary kind of movie that she will eventually watch, so every action I do I think about how she might react or think of me if she saw me doing it. My actions are shaped around her, my life literally revolves around this person even if I barely see her. Anytime I see her I am absolutely desperate for her attention, but I don't make it seem like it and act very stand-offish and not super talkative. She has taken a liking to me, which I am extremely happy about and she tells me she thinks I am a very interesting person. She even went as far as to send me a long letter when I went to rehab about how she thinks about me a lot and hopes I am doing well and that she sees so much in me.

She is always in my dreams ssince I think about her constantly throughout the day, and I don't know I just think of her all the time. I think this comes from the fact that I was, at one time, really struggling in life and she was the only person to sit me down and tell me she knew I wasn't okay and that she wanted to help me. This is the first time anyone had ever said that to me and it is legitimately what I had been craving my whole life. Since then I just cannot stop thinking about her and wanting to get close to her. I have looked this up online, but the only things I find are people extremely sexually/romantically attracted to the person they're obsessing over, and I'm not. I see her more as a caretaker/authority figure than anything.

Last week I tripped out and realized that I was literally only living for this person, and that if she disappeared from my mind none of my actions would have meaning, and it's true. It is so depressing to me that she will never think as much of me as I think of her, and that I am just a part of her life while she is literally my whole life.

I can tell this isnt healthy but I also dont know if I want to get rid of this obsession because I genuinely do enjoy thinking about her all the time, but I just feel like it takes over my brain a lot of the time and like I'm a fake person. None of my actions are authentic. Like the expression "dance like no one's watching" doesn't make sense to me anymore because I can't do anything (even on my own, alone) without feeling like she is watching me through a screen and I just want to impress her and make her like me.

Like seriously I need help. Does anybody have this problem?? I just want advice...
Angus Nobbertotch - Sat, 22 Feb 2020 08:38:13 EST +rYLvVZR No.533745 Reply
It's much easier to feel those feelings for the star of the reality show in your mind than to actually negotiate and navigate a relationship with a live person. It's comfortable to not have to actually make someone happy, all you have to do is create something and she loves it every time. You've created a source in your mind to massage you continually with unconditional positive regard. Watch Cool World.
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 12:17:55 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533761 Reply
This has happened because you haven't got anything better to do with your time and attention so start by fixing that.

As Angus said, the reality would be a letdown. One day you may discover that. If that happens before you have other things to live for consider that death is inevitable so you might as well try to find something good to do with your much scarcer more limited life. If it doesn't work you die anyway, if it does, hooray, had fun.

But ideally move on with your life now

Does this make me a complete asshole

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- Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:56:53 EST EtHPqQfW No.533703
File: 1582149413981.jpg -(135416B / 132.24KB, 750x719) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Does this make me a complete asshole
I lived with this guy for 3 years. I moved out a few years back and I recently heard he tried to kill himself. He keeps talking about how miserable he is. He tried to do it when this girl dumped him. Frankly I think it’s all bullshit and he should have just fucking done it.

>sits around watching news all day
>yells about politics constantly; huge communist
>literally all he cares about is communism
>hates everyone who isn’t super far leftist
>never smoke or drank in his life; looks down on people who do
>adopted this stupid dog that’s like 200 pounds and violent to seem more liberal “I rescued him”
>now his girlfriend dumped him because he tried to an hero
>trying to get a studio w dog that’s bigger than him
>has this really shitty entitled attitude that a landlord should just give him an apartment and hold it for him until he has the money
>polsci major
>bitches and whines about how exhausting his fmla approved therapy sessions are, month off work “it’s so exhausting”

Honestly I think the suicide attempt is completely bullshit and just a cry for attention. I get legitimately angry when I think about how stupid this person is. I’ve known people who killed them selves and this seems like just a big cry for attention.

Am I onto something or am I just a dickhead?
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Hedda Grimford - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:38:10 EST VMzmKgcf No.533751 Reply
bro i'm gonna drop a wokeness pill on you but people cling to things in order to find a fulfillment in their lives that they otherwise lack. the reason extreme leftists act the way they do is not because of any set of rules or belief system, but rather a neurotic attachment to such things. in their heads they have a pathological idealism that lets them believe (aka lie to themselves), to a great or lesser degree, they are a literal hero fighting against pure evil. it is an emotionally compelling worldview that is reinforced by the culture and information that is put out there, as well
you see the same thing with vegans, FRUITARIANS, climate change activists, far right people, anti racists.. just about anything but those are big ones. they make a religion of sorts out of it, but the big fat truth is that when you substitute your real personal life for a "cause," you're actually just a fucking loser and there is an instinct to cling onto something that gives you powerful feelings, which becomes true for you. the only exception to giving yourself to a cause is if you're a TALENTED content creator, which actually means that you're of far higher quality and are able to influence people, but your homeboy is in a bad, pathetic place. he should give up politics for awhile, try to lift some weights, go for walks outside, get some sunshine, eat lots of red meat and eggs, etc etc. but right now he is poisoning himself. the correct answer is to stop doing that and nourish yourself instead. there is absolutely nothing good about being toxic like that, nothing noble or correct at all.

also the first thing i thought was damn you lived with that for 3 years?

>10 day fast
anyway in case the op is wondering i think i starved out my candida and cured a lot of depression. but i am NOT recommending a 10 day fast so please do not ban me mods. i'm just sharing my experience since it was mentioned and we're talking about mental health. i'd probably be dead right now if i didn't do that fast, came to me just at the right time
George Sussleshit - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:41:35 EST eGS6zz6/ No.533752 Reply
Your roommate doesnt actually bother you because its made of straws.
Isabella Fanville - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 08:09:52 EST dT9flf4/ No.533757 Reply

>the reason extreme leftists act the way they do is not because of any set of rules or belief system, but rather a neurotic attachment to such things. in their heads they have a pathological idealism that lets them believe (aka lie to themselves), to a great or lesser degree, they are a literal hero fighting against pure evil.

Or maybe people in general get really heated about politics because it's super important? I mean you're probably not wrong that this guy clings to it more than your average person because he has nothing going for him, but people in general are pretty passionate about politics

>but the big fat truth is that when you substitute your real personal life for a "cause," you're actually just a fucking loser

This is actually retarded


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- Thu, 06 Feb 2020 03:53:00 EST 7cGpsW87 No.533489
File: 1580979180911.jpg -(40643B / 39.69KB, 350x355) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. CULT DISGUISED AS A HOMELESS SHELTER
okay, firstly, I want you all to know this place is well on its way to being found out and shutdown by the local federal judge here in Hawaii, so no worries but I need to write about this.

For starters,
>I just reunited with my long absent father after 19 years growing up entirely without him in my life.
>I am a free american citizen and not on probation or drug addicted or in any sort of trouble binding me to be a part of some program or any sort of rehabilitation housing or halfway house or anything like that,
> I just got off the plane ✈️ in Hawaii to see him
> was picked up by this van with my dad in a wheelchair inside who is however legally bound to this weird place I was told is happy to take me in and help us out for a bit

If you check the google reviews of their ex location in Washington you may find;
> they were SHUT DOWN by Child Protective Services and have been labelled a CULT by more than five families.
>This lady who runs the place is called “Mom” by all the crony grown adults working here for her,
>they soon are telling me Church is Mandatory in this place
>every Sunday and Wednesday, however everyone rooming with me said that’s odd because none of them were told that and it wasn't until my blatant resentment for psychotic religious types was being expressed that they made this decision,
>even though apparently this was the norm in their Washington location and it was shutdown.

Now, not only is Their specific “”Church”” in the building Mandatory but also reading Proverbs downstairs every morning at 7am is now mandatory.
>They play whacky LOUD christian music every Sunday and Wednesday that can be heard even down the street while dancing around waving their hands like maniacs in the movie Midsommar and wearing purple capes as one lady bows down in front of her husband who is the son of this “”mom”” lady etc.

and hey, TO EACH THEIR OWN, I dont mind whoever believing whatever.

But, in America, which Hawaii very much still is a part of, I as a citizen have the right to freedom of religion and expression and freedom of choice. I understand in a privately owned or run business they make the rules, but my dad has a FEDERAL probation officer on our side and has actually been getting a kick out of all this knowing they are truly digging their own grave by how they run this place.

Apparently the federal Judge here recently asked her, in Court, “Does Faith house REQUIRE or Force people to attend or perform religion practices?” the answer “Not to any of My clients...”” and the judge responded “Good... because I absolutely forbid that and anything like that...”

Now, when she said not any of My clients she is referring to the fact Federal convicts here are required under Federal order to stay there after release from jail and therefore can stay regardless of anything they do or dont do here as far as their house “”rules”” go.

But Me, who is just moved here to reunite with my dad, am not under any probation or federal requirements or programs or anything like that to be here and am just a free US citizen trying to stay with my dad while we get our own place and were waiting on his check to come in.
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Betsy Mockleletch - Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:32:42 EST 1OmC/vbR No.533618 Reply
Nah bruh see because I’ve already read up on the cycles and stages people go through in life and am well aware the stage all these other guys are at when they need prison or the army or a job or the government or anything like that for the sake of being in a set way of living or thinking when they can’t manage themselves on their own.

That ain’t me. That’s why I show all this resistance to the program and they wanna try making an example out of me, to show they can really do what they say and “change” people.

That shelter you’re suggesting I just go on over to is even worse in the sense that I’d have to be out by 7am every day and back in by 7pm, it’s got no showers and I’d be given a matt for the cold hard floor of their dining room that during the night is made into a sleeping room with mindless drug addled even more gross lowlifes. Here I have a decently kept group-home with at least the freedom to leave and go during the day, even if it comes with lots of hoops and tricks surrounding all that. I’m getting hooked up with a job at Bed, Bath & Beyond while I focus on getting myself my own Bed/Bath/Etc. in the meantime, while surely going to land other jobs this next couple weeks as I rarely have trouble finding work once I set my mind to it. Which, of course, being in a place like this has certainly gotten me to do.

I’ll find a way to make them pay, one way or another, I will have my vengeance, even if I gotta wait until I get my shit from Oregon shipped over here and gotta use my custom nearly 200$ Handfrafted wooden Ouija board infused and enchanted by an elder Pagan to sell a piece of my soul and summon Andras or some other demonic forces to ruin this place. Fuck it. Either I go THAT route or I use my own wrath to teepee the fuck out this place and prank them endlessly lol.

P.S. one of their weirdo creeper spy-guys who always lurked around listening to conversations for them has called it quits and dipped out unexpectedly, went and crashed with some chick at tent city. Even their cronies get sick of this madhouse.
Betsy Mockleletch - Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:48:31 EST 1OmC/vbR No.533619 Reply
1581752911283.jpg -(741673B / 724.29KB, 2048x2048) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Ditto my dude, 31/34 qualities of a cult they in fact have here
about a B+ maybe even an A- if we’re grading this place on being a fully active cult.

So, yeah, that about covers everything for now, aside from a handful of other showings of their insanity. I got off a fucking plane and picked up in a van unwittingly by a fucking cult full of lies and untrained wannabe “apostles and prophets” who essentially know jackshit about running an operation like this and generally force their views onto anyone and everyone here, to a point this place might as well be their containment zone because their fucking “preacher” was too busy getting kicked out of Malls before this

Absolute Fucking Madhouse i tell ya. Just needed to get all this written down for my own sanity and be able to backtrack all this shit if I need to.
Albert Brollysut - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 02:46:42 EST EFXmbFdY No.533753 Reply

that’s an article my buddy found for me of the newspaper article from the week this lady running this place got found out by Child Protective Services and shutdown after being reported for abuse and neglect as well as being understaffed and not properly trained or having valid backgrounds to allow them the authoritative positions they somehow managed to obtain.

Btw, some dude here woke up covered in bug bites and nights prior swiped a roach off his torso that was crawling across while he lay in bed. This place is a nightmare all the while tomorrow being Sunday we all STILL have to wake up for their Mandatory Church goings if we wanna have a roof over our heads, because all these fucks care about is forcing religion onto everything they do while collecting money from all inhabitants living here.

Meanwhile, a fucking samoan gang has their part in staying here and couldn’t give a shit less as they give me dirty looks knowing I have this place on my fucking radar and am fully smart enough to get it reported and closed the fuck down. Fuck your lazy ass gang needing this place to stay at for cheap. I’ve had a shelter in Bend, OR. get demolished by the state Senator after every worker there was fired and a new bigger better shelter built on the place’s fucking ruins in 2018. I could give a fuck less if these fucks end up in the struggle if it means getting this corrupt place out of business. I just gotta be smart about it, my buddy worries for my safety hearing all this shit.

Anyways, tomorrow at the weekly “house meeting” Im addressing the fact these people normalize insects all over the house to a detrimental degree, so much so that you’ve got several roach sightings and other bugs even in the kitchen and restrooms and living room as well as in kitchen cabinets IN the cups kept inside there at times, and if they dont plan on stepping it up then fuck ‘em, I’ll be well on my way to getting this place reported for neglect and abuse of power and they can get shut the fuck down like any other endeavors they’ve tried in the past.


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- Sun, 16 Feb 2020 21:38:15 EST rxDf9oTy No.533663
File: 1581907095468.jpg -(135011B / 131.85KB, 600x616) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Eviction
Does anybody have experience with this?

>live in apartment with roommate
>roommate goes psycho on a combination of Xanax, adderal, and anti deppresants, starts physical fights
>I kick his ass and move out
>keep paying rent because I don’t wanna fuck myself over
>lease goes until may 1st
>my landlord is trying to rent the place out early and charge me for rent until may

Some have told me that if I stop paying I’m gonna get fucked over and evicted, others have told me nothing will happen. I planned on paying for March, but if I don’t pay for April will I get fucked?
Phoebe Biddlelock - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 07:19:30 EST 5iXaUCHT No.533668 Reply
If you have signed a contract to pay money then you have to pay it. This is what happens when you can't live with people. Pay until May or take him to court. Don't just decide to not pay.
Basil Wannerpun - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:15:35 EST R6I578yU No.533727 Reply
Have you spoke with the landlord about finding someone to buy out your lease? He can't double dip and rent it out while collecting rent from you. If what you say is true, contact a lawyer for a free consult and pay $100 to have him send a legal letter expressing this.

whoa this site is a shell of it's former self

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- Wed, 19 Feb 2020 18:51:54 EST GmZKdiP6 No.533706
File: 1582156314495.jpg -(267292B / 261.03KB, 1080x1204) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. whoa this site is a shell of it's former self
I can't believe you guys got rid of the /sh/enanigans board. I used to post my acts of vandalism on there and you all shunned me. Now look at you- mid 30s waste of life stoners... meanwhile I am still vandalizing as both a hobby, and a career.

You need a brick thrown through a window? $30CAD.
Esther Sungerwark - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 07:20:50 EST kK3rPTq0 No.533716 Reply
Guess this board doesn't have any mods either.
Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:11:15 EST VAcauGzm No.533722 Reply
>420chan in 2020
>having more than .5 mod actions per day
Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:11:15 EST VAcauGzm No.533723 Reply
>420chan in 2020
>having more than .5 mod actions per day

Girl At Work

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- Sat, 15 Feb 2020 12:22:06 EST R6I578yU No.533631
File: 1581787326561.png -(424378B / 414.43KB, 540x524) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Girl At Work
So a new girl started at work about a month 1/2 ago. I didn't really speak with her much at all during the first week or so she was in training. Well eventually we started working closer together and got to know eachother.

I would flirt lightly with her, say she looked cute, tease her, etc. She seemed to enjoy it for the most part. I'd ask her leading questions i.e. "Do you live with anyone?" "Doing anything this weekend" and she always seemed to pause but answer with No, or "oh maybe my Mom".

I guess I'm in sort of a leadership role at work, but me and her are on the same level as far as hierarchy at work goes.

More and more it seems like she enjoys / wants my attention, and whenever I'm in a down mood / not feeling it she seems upset / down that I'm not my usual self.

I had worked up the courage to finally ask her out, but that same day she started wearing a ring to work. Now I'm 100% positive she wasn't wearing it anytime before , so I took it as a hint and stopped flirting with her.

The next couple weeks shes acting as if I killed a puppy in front of her since I've backed off. This pattern goes on for another two weeks. Get close, I feel confused and hurt, stop, she seems depressed, etc.

All this time she's never once mentioned in conversation if she's seeing anyone. Eventually it turns into whenever I say anything mildly flirty to her she seems distressed about it.

I got so sick of it I finally asked her directly: "Hey, you know how I feel about you. Can you make it clear to me how you feel so I know what to do?"

As you could guess: "I'm in a relationship. I was only being nice and friendly. Sorry if I did something wrong."

Now guys, I promise I'm not delusional. I don't really have the best self-image and confidence in the first place. By all standards I'm a good looking guy, but as a former fatass who got bullied everyday, it's hard to shake that image. I know for a fact for at least sometime she enjoyed my attention more than just be friendly.

Was she just caught up in a new guy flirting with her and got ahead of herself? I feel like if you love someone you're in a relationship you wouldn't be so afraid of just mentioning it. Even just as an offhand comment.

I don't really expect it to go anywhere at this point and really am just over it. I thought she was cute and wanted to get to know her better but since it's at work it blew up into a way bigger deal than it was supposed to be.

I guess I just want to know how far off the mark I was/am. It all feels a bit unfair because she had all the chips and chose to not say anything until I confronted her directly, she didn't argue with me when I said she already knew my feelings. We haven't really spoke the last couple days.

Not really sure what to say for things to go back to relative normalcy.
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Simon Hengersin - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 10:22:56 EST VAcauGzm No.533721 Reply
It's all better than "Do you hear ringing in your ears?" If anyone remembers that guy.
Jenny Monningdale - Thu, 20 Feb 2020 12:38:33 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533724 Reply
I'd already mentioned evangelion but yeah, I forgot that one. Classic.

OP, if you do need more advice please bring this back on topic but all your shit seemed cool and I'm nbing out of consideration for people will actual issues in the mean time.

How to build a social life

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- Tue, 11 Feb 2020 12:15:29 EST EN3AUmBx No.533569
File: 1581441329928.jpg -(6997B / 6.83KB, 200x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How to build a social life
Hello everyone.

I went cocoon mode a year and a half ago at the age of 23 and went from obese all my life to what people are now calling slim. I wouldn't use that word myself, but that's what I've heard. It's changed my personality so much, literally everything has changed. I'm no longer a self loathing, obese, socially retarded, victim who hates life but someone who's accomplished something, has a sense of fulfilment, and loves being around people. And it seems people are much nicer to me too. Literally every fucking thing has changed and I don't know who I am anymore honestly.

In the last year I've made friends and hooked up with girls from those apps. Which honestly I never enjoyed, but it did give me a confidence boost, like it told me I was attractive enough for people to want to be around. Which was nice, because I had experienced the opposite all my life until 23-24. I'm 25 now and really want to start socializing and going to the pubs for drinks on weekends but I have no wingman since I shut myself in for such a long time.

I went to the pub by myself a year ago because I had a dream I was at that pub with my Dad, who died 2 years ago, and saw him there and we were like BRO WHERE'VE YOU BEEN and had a good catchup. It felt strange waking up after because it felt so vivid. So I decided fuck it and walked down to sink a couple of pints in his name. I was hoping it'd be more of a fun event but it was just me and two old dudes reading the newspaper trying to escape the missus for 5 minutes.

I really want to start meeting friends who like to have some fun. Like drinking, weed, softer drug use, etc but I have no idea where to begin. The idea of going to a club/pub by myself seems so alien to me it's crazy. Idk why I'm posting here, I'm trying not to come off as a total bitch, because I know my "problems" aren't even really problems. Everything seems to be on the up. I'm just socially frustrated. I have no idea where to begin on going out. I made a Facebook account last year and a few old friends have added me, I suggested we go out for a couple drinks and catch up but they never follow through with the plans.

Thanks for hearing me out.
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Martha Checklespear - Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:13:30 EST mttQWkrO No.533664 Reply
I dunno, I'm kind of in the same boat still. I think this is a very common crisis that those of us who "make it" endure after our bitter, misanthropic world-view is shattered and we slowly come to terms with the fact the only person holding us back in life was ourselves.

I think that support groups are a great place to at least have some meaningful human connection as a kind of springboard into other social circles, it's a lot easier to get to know people who you share something deep in common with.

This is advice I'm still working on following myself, I was lucky enough to have made a solid group of friends in school before dropping out, and we still talk and all, but I don't live there or get to see them that much. Not to mention that the default where I knew how to really socialize which is through drinking isn't an option for me after I became an alcoholic. Been sober for 3 months or so now, I still do other drugs, but you can't do them as much or as freely.

I think what people are saying about hobbies is solid advice, but also a lot easier said than done.

Wish I could offer more help than saying someone else was and kind of is in the same boat but doesn't have any answers

>because I know my "problems" aren't even really problems

Suffering is only relative to one's own experiences, and there's nothing to say objectively that matters of life and death or other "real" problems are objectively worse or harder to endure than what you're going through, you can be grateful for what you have, but don't let that make you feel bad for experiencing life
Charlotte Dorringlock - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 16:07:19 EST D8tit+zd No.533679 Reply
I calculated my calorie intake on a TDEE calculator online. I researched BMI scales and looked for a healthy goal for me. Which was 22. And I made it, from 32. I learned what carbs were and then cut them down significantly, I would still eat a double burger and bacon for tea, but I never had chips (fries). I also got into High Intensity Cardio on a stationary bike and did 20 minutes first thing after my caffeine on a morning for 20 minutes going as hard as I could. It's been a while since I did that though. Mentally, the toughest part is being able to remind yourself it's ok to be hungry. I also had a pretty bad video game addiction at the time, and my brain demanded instant gratification otherwise I would see no progress long term. It's like I needed an XP bar or something to look at. So I had to quit video games for a while too. And Learning about Insulin spikes and it's effect on your body in terms of where it gets energy from helped me overcome that.

I'm actually very passionate about this and if you ever need any help I'll keep an eye out on this thread every now and then. I never in my life would've imagined I could have been described as skinny but just 2 nights ago someone said "all the skinny ones in the back" of a cramped taxi and pointed at me but here I am.

And yes, family is blessed.
Charlotte Dorringlock - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 16:28:59 EST D8tit+zd No.533680 Reply

I have a great group of friends I talk to from my online gaming days, we've known each other for 10 years and met multiple times, great guys and were really there for me when things got dark with my Father's passing. Love them all like family honestly. I just wish it was possible we could do things more.

I'm trying not to feel bad doing new things that I know long term aren't a great idea, hookups, socially using drugs other than weed etc. I think the sense of knowing it's bad is a healthy instinct to have even though it's such a burden, if it wasn't there, who knows where I'd be.

A support group could be a good idea, maybe I could find some people who used to be fat too. The results of it all have come as such a shock to the system, I could never have imagined my life being anything like it is now since I decided to go for it.

For me to get into a hobby it has to be cheap and something I'm passionate about, very few exist. But I'm always open to trying experiencing new outlets. Gardening was a great discovery for me, and really complimented my weight loss as I was learning about nutrition for plants and for myself.

Congratulations on getting sober mate, 3 months is enough for a total reset in receptor density I think, so by this point you've probably managed to rewire your brain to be fully used to not being drunk, which is deffo easier said than done with Alcohol.

It was nice reading a post from someone who understands the new mindset you gain when you shift the fat for sure. There aren't many at all I can go to who know how it feels.

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