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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 10)
Fuck sake Ignore Report Reply
Cornelius Hodgeman - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 09:34:40 EST ID:Y3OKSqQl No.528765
File: 1555248880410.jpg -(681123B / 665.16KB, 1080x2340) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 681123
Help I've been trying to meal prep and follow a realistic self care routine for fucking years. I work as a mental health support worker (lol) and NEED to learn to do a self care before I commit suicide and leave my sweet angel of a girlfriend here on this shitty fucking plane of existence. Pic related. I take antidepressants, have done therapy. I love weed & tolerate life
>>
Hedda Hazzleshit - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 11:30:17 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528766 Ignore Report Reply
>>528765
OK it looks like you want advice.

What has your experience with meditation been like and which types have you tried?
Same for therapy, which types and how much did they help or not help?
What are your hobbies and how often are you able to make time for them? Which of your hobbies are numbing and which make you happy? (both are valid but if you have ONLY numbing hobbies and no happy ones you will be miserable)
>>
Sidney Crurringfuck - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 11:36:49 EST ID:lXsK4abP No.528767 Ignore Report Reply
so you just want more attention (besides your gf's)?
#firstworldproblems
>>
Sophie Goodworth - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 11:40:34 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528768 Ignore Report Reply
>>528765
Maybe this is useless advice but are there things about your life you love other than drugs and your girlfriend? Should there be more of them?
>>
Cornelius Bardforth - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 13:54:42 EST ID:N8SnPlnn No.528772 Ignore Report Reply
Here is how you hack your brain:

Write down why you want to do whatever. Write down consequences of doing whatever, how your life will improve etc.

Divide whatever into smaller tasks.
Allocate a set time frame for working on the task, say 20 minutes for a start. For those 20 minutes you are only allowed to work on the task, and after the 20 minutes are over, you are no longer allowed to work on the task.

Get your girlfriend to do something for you if and only if you successfully complete the given tasks. It could be sending a nice message, sucking you off, anything, BUT, and this part is important, the feedback should be as immediate as possible, and varied in "intensity". Every now and then she should not give any feedback. You can read more about this online.

After you manage to get going you can look into stuff like S.M.A.R.T goal setting (pretty sweaty terms but whatever) and stuff and basically the sky's the limit.
>>
Hedda Hazzleshit - Sun, 14 Apr 2019 14:25:19 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528774 Ignore Report Reply
>>528772
girlfriends are human beings and not sitting around like a fucking sugar drip with a variable reinforcement schedule

"get your girlfriend to" oh fuck you, he's not a rat in a cage, he can treat himself to something nice to reward himself, not demand bjs from his girlfriend and then see her as an obstacle to his improvement if she doesn't comply to his *scientifically verified by a dumbass online* blow job schedule. Are you 12?
>>
Eugene Cuggleson - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 05:07:24 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528794 Ignore Report Reply
>>528774
There's no reason she can't drop him an affirming text or two if she wants to help him. Maybe she is a blowjob tap, you don't know their relationship.
>>
Fucking Buddledale - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 10:21:48 EST ID:aKLE6eU1 No.528802 Ignore Report Reply
>>528794
Nah. That guy's plan is basically to just Pavlov OP. Sounds like a great way to make him massively codependent, ruin their relationship, and fuck him up worse in the long run.
>>
Cornelius Sebblefield - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 11:19:33 EST ID:N8SnPlnn No.528803 Ignore Report Reply
>>528774
Show me where the patriarchy touched you.


>>528802
Show me where the psychologist touched you.
>>
Oliver Grandhood - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 13:34:36 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528807 Ignore Report Reply
>>528803
I'd ask you to show me where those posts touched you but we know it was in your fragile feelings.

You actually wanted OP to build a skinner box if I'm not mistaken. Then intermittent response is a key ingredient in it.

>show me where the MMO touched you
I still have the stretch marks.

Training yourself like that does sound weird. You should absolutely reward yourself for positive achievements but even just being mindful of what you've achieving and allowing yourself to feel good is usually enough. Hacking your own brain is a last resort and risks making things more fucked up. Just needing to use direct psychological manipulation to motivate yourself is a bit extreme as an answer to a problem of motivation. Using rewards and so on is a good idea but I think you're just taking it too far.
>>
Phyllis Wanderbed - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 13:42:15 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528808 Ignore Report Reply
>>528807
also OP isn't trying to give up cigarettes or porn or some phobia or compulsion, OP is trying to feel better, he doesn't need to train himself like a dog with an edible girlfriend-doll. Behavioral therapy isn't applied to depression, and even if it was that poster has a really shitty and basic understanding of it + women are humans dur
>>
Eugene Cuggleson - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 13:43:19 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528809 Ignore Report Reply
>>528802
It's not Pavlovian you ignorant dong it's clearly a simple positive reinforcement learning on a variable ratio schedule. It's a completely sensible way to alter your own behavior.

>>528807
>Training yourself like that does sound weird.
It's no weirder than your teacher giving you a gold star for being well behaved.
There's a reason MMO games use it; it works.
>>
Phyllis Wanderbed - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 14:39:53 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528810 Ignore Report Reply
>>528809
*Facepalm* did you watch some stupid intro psych lectures on youtube or something? and you think you can apply the one thing you know to everything. When all you got is a hammer everything resembles a nail, you don't use Skinner for depression or self care, dipshit

You're not a dipshit for being wrong you are a dipshit for having self-esteem so fucking high that you think your beginner's level knowledge of a topic makes you somehow wiser than others and also for thinking women's job is to suck you off when you are good

MMOs use Skinner to make you care about their stupid goals and then make you achieve their stupid goals, OP is not lacking goals or the mental strength to achieve them, your hammer is irrelevant
>>
Oliver Grandhood - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 14:53:39 EST ID:UZ9BzlLq No.528811 Ignore Report Reply
>>528809
It's weirder. Who the fuck gets gold stars because they didn't act up? But lets say you did something exceptional it's not the gold star, it's the recognition that makes it worth anything. Giving yourself a dopamine almost directly rush does cut out a lot of the intermediate steps but you don't know what the value of those steps is. They may affect the way you learn or stop you developing a tolerance. If you become dependent on your skinner box what happens when you do something positive outside it? That's less intense, you're used to more. What if those steps trigger other parts of the reaction or it's a more prolonged subtle effect and that's what reinforces?

Yeah skinner boxes work, that's how you make rats fat and people spend hours doing things they don't enjoy for enough rep to reach exalted next quarter. Those are not good results. It's how you end up unbalancing the less "rewarding" parts of your life. And you absolutely WILL NOT be able to reward every positive or even every vital action.

The more I think about this the worse the idea sounds.

>>528810
I do wonder if OP does lack goals though. His original post was that his life sucked and he likes a couple of things. It's quite possible he does need to improve his life and that will help. His life doesn't sound great. However it's worth OP working out what he needs to do rather than just brute forcing dopamine rushes for continuing his mundane existence.
>>
Eugene Cuggleson - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 15:49:44 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528812 Ignore Report Reply
>>528810
>I AM ANGRY AND GOING TO CALL YOU NAMES WHILE ADDING NOTHING TO THE CONVERSATION EXCEPT MY STUPID OPINION
k
>>
Eliza Fesslebock - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 17:34:03 EST ID:sRV2BNzu No.528816 Ignore Report Reply
>>528766
Thanks for your response. I used to meditate everyday for 2-3 weeks and then I turn into a huge trash baby and life gets on top of me. I've been doing that on and off for 3 years I'd say. Tried to impliment it into my morning and/or night routines in my bulletjournal. Yes that's right. A fucking bulletjournal. Because otherwise I can't organise my life. I've learnt about mindfulness based cbt In an academic setting. I run groups on mindfulness. The irony. I've done headspace (when I could afford it) which was cute for a while. Then the ones that really stuck were these short guided meditations from the UCLA mindfulness research center website. They are pretty good. I mean nothing really stuck but of all of them the UCLA ones are now what I go back to whenever I pick myself up off the floor.

I had a person centred therapist prior to being prescribed testosterone because I'm also a female to male trans. She helped me talk about painful shit and that was cathartic but I couldn't afford it in the long run. I've also been sent to group therapy (DBT) for depression which was okayyyy and taught me about self care and traps/cycles of behaviour that we can fall into. Oh and also how emotions arnt my enemy but they are just a part of our survival mechanisms and reactions to fend off traumatic shit. I guess that was good to know. I still feel pretty at war with myself tho.


Hobbies? The gym (I go less than I should), Pokémon go, 420 (hey it's happy sometimes! Not just numbing). YouTube. circlejerk. Cleaning my flat (I enjoy cleaning lol). That's about it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
>>
Eliza Fesslebock - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 17:37:02 EST ID:sRV2BNzu No.528817 Ignore Report Reply
>>528767
Well I live in one of the most economically developed countries in the world. And I have problems comin' out the wazoo so yeah. You're right.

Of course I want attention. I'm in pain bruh. Existential. First world pain. That's why i made this thread. I want folks to give me their attention so they can then give me their 2 cents! Thnx for Ur reply
>>
Eliza Fesslebock - Mon, 15 Apr 2019 17:41:55 EST ID:sRV2BNzu No.528818 Ignore Report Reply
>>528768
There are things I like (when I'm not feeling sour af) I wouldn't say love per se. Like I enjoy the thrill of playing Pokémon Go, finding new Pokémon, beating up other people's pokemon, walking long enough to hatch a 10k egg and shit. But sometimes idk it feels so arbitrary and dull to the point where I can't enjoy it. I hate it when I feel like that.
I really like closing my eyes and listening to music. Sometimes I imagine stuff. Usually wish fulfillment daydreams. Or I just make up a music video in my head. Or even dance around to it.

I love eating food. Maybe a little too much.
>>
Martin Gimmlespear - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 02:02:40 EST ID:xOLwLFvv No.528821 Ignore Report Reply
As a fellow mental health support worker I send my best wishes OP. Shit gets intense and its hard to balance that with your own mental health issues. Its pretty much why the average lifespan of a career in support work is less than 5 years. Ya burn out.

Cant really offer any advice though. Looks like you've tried most things etc except maybe philosophy. Maybe read Myth of sisyphus. Otherwise yeah you're letting your monkey brain dance all over the place playing violin and singing songs of destruction and it's like yeah bad monkey, but yeah you're the one being ridden so it's up to you to kick that monkey off and be some zen master guy. But obviously easier said. Seems vaguely chemical hormonish instability because you're logical.

My advice is dont kill yourself. Hahaha. Consume your damn existence sandwich.
>>
Cedric Dunningkure - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 03:09:58 EST ID:ygEJbqPM No.528823 Ignore Report Reply
>>528772
This is pretty much how I approach cleaning my household haha. It works for tasks like that. My girlfriend is already a great cheerleader but it seems my mood overrides any intentions to stay on task even if I've got someone giving me blowjobs or screaming encouragement at me. In fact when I feel like this I don't even WANT a blow job ): tnx for your reply I should probably just try this technique for other task oriented things in my life.
>>
Cedric Dunningkure - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 03:10:38 EST ID:ygEJbqPM No.528824 Ignore Report Reply
>>528772
This is pretty much how I approach cleaning my household haha. It works for tasks like that. My girlfriend is already a great cheerleader but it seems my mood overrides any intentions to stay on task even if I've got someone giving me blowjobs or screaming encouragement at me. In fact when I feel like this I don't even WANT a blow job ): tnx for your reply I should probably just try this technique for other task oriented things in my life. >>528772
>>
Cedric Dunningkure - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 03:13:39 EST ID:ygEJbqPM No.528825 Ignore Report Reply
>>528772
>>528772
This is pretty much how I approach cleaning my household haha. It works for tasks like that. My girlfriend is already a great cheerleader but it seems my mood overrides any intentions to stay on task even if I've got someone giving me blowjobs or screaming encouragement at me. In fact when I feel like this I don't even WANT a blow job ): tnx for your reply I should probably just try this technique for other task oriented things in my life.
>>
Nell Grimson - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 07:08:09 EST ID:91wep0dl No.528826 Ignore Report Reply
I always wondered why the meaninglessness of life is enough to drive people to suicide.
Like, you've already accepted there is no god, there is no judgement, there is no highscore at the end to see how well you did. You are free to do whatever you can, whatever you want in this one chance at life.
And this realization makes people want to end that one chance?

OP what the hell do you want?
>>
Cedric Dunningkure - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 17:14:37 EST ID:ygEJbqPM No.528833 Ignore Report Reply
https://youtu.be/mU2b2kHeEec

You guys thanks for Ur replies I've been thinking them through and then found the above video. Like I think maybe I need to outsmart my monkey brain.
>>
Wesley Goshman - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 15:57:24 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528848 Ignore Report Reply
check out the willpower instinct by Kelly McGonigal
>>
Simon Duckridge - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 18:56:16 EST ID:WNFQju07 No.528849 Ignore Report Reply
>>528826
I feel suicidal a lot too, and the answer to your question is "nothing." There is basically nothing I want, so all this pointless suffering is even more pointless. Since there is no carrot on the stick, the pain is unbearable and I want to kill myself, literally all of the time.
>>
Polly Snodbury - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 19:34:06 EST ID:qTml9FbR No.528850 Ignore Report Reply
>>528849

I think that existence is inherently discomforting, meaning that you have to exert effort to achieve happiness. I've been pondering recently and came to the thought that the the lack of desire in the presence of depression is a side effect of inaction. The problem with depression is that it enables tendencies which further enable depression, essentially catalyzing its own dysphoria.

Every person is different, of course, but how do you know you haven't found your shtick in life if you haven't yet tried everything? I like playing guitar alone, roaming the woods by myself while thinking about life, getting high with mother nature, doing yard work, playing basketball, exercising, eating, and making art. These are all things that bring me slivers of joy in an otherwise bleak, meaningless, and cripplingly maddening existence.
>>
Hiffwe !BKmffWgROY - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 23:42:29 EST ID:7Lii9+gw No.528889 Ignore Report Reply
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>>528765
Dude just quit the weed for a bit, drink some tea and go look in the mirror at the guy you let down.

Now i want you to go and hug your girlfriend. Tell her you fucked up and you need to let go of your inner demons.


You tell her how you really feel

No dumbass white coat can give you your humanity and drive back like the girl who stuck around for you all these years.
>>
Hiffwe !BKmffWgROY - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 23:57:47 EST ID:7Lii9+gw No.528890 Ignore Report Reply
1555732667371.gif -(2628699B / 2.51MB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>528889
https://youtu.be/D7aYjRl_6Zw

You put this shit on and cry.

Just fucking cry.

Listen to me bitch im your therapist now. Tough love çuck.

You fucking listen to how stupid you sounded before you cried.

Now listen to yourself tell yourself I'm not going to let my dumb ass take advantage of me while im down and kicked.
>>
!scyTheNg3k - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 02:24:41 EST ID:/U8zYy3Q No.528891 Ignore Report Reply
>>528765
ok so
first there was you're trying to do "meal prep" and "self care"
then you started talking about suicide
and i think "that escalated quickly!"

first of all, you need to stop getting mad at yourself for not doing things whose sole purpose is to make you feel better
that's just the wrong way to approach it. you can't attach all these negative feelings to what is supposed to be a pleasurable activity.

like if you forget to eat lunch, it's ok, don't get mad at yourself for not eating lunch. try to pick up some kind of high-fiber snack and have some water. (keep these around, they're useful.)

like seriously
>>528816
>A fucking bulletjournal. Because otherwise I can't organise my life.

yes, it's a bullet journal.
this isn't worth worrying about.

>The gym (I go less than I should), Pokémon go, 420 (hey it's happy sometimes! Not just numbing). YouTube. circlejerk. Cleaning my flat (I enjoy cleaning lol). That's about it.

ngl only one of those is a hobby and it's pokemon.
well, cleaning might count.
don't make fun of yourself for liking to clean, you're not the only one.

honestly it just sounds like you're asking too much from yourself
fall down seven times, get up eight
you need to be willing to suck at something if you're ever going to be good at something
"your first song will be terrible, but if you don't write your first song you'll never write your 500th"

>Of course I want attention. I'm in pain bruh. Existential. First world pain. That's why i made this thread. I want folks to give me their attention so they can then give me their 2 cents!
>Like I enjoy the thrill of playing Pokémon Go, finding new Pokémon, beating up other people's pokemon, walking long enough to hatch a 10k egg and shit. But sometimes idk it feels so arbitrary and dull to the point where I can't enjoy it. I hate it when I feel like that.

i'm sorry
that must be uncomfortable

but listen
let's talk about "existentialism"
if by "existentialism" you mean the popular idea that whatever we give meaning in life to is arbitrary because we're just randomly generated nanotechnology with fur and we turn back into dirt and fumes after a while
so why not just play pokemon go and who's to say that's not just as good as anything else anyone is doing

it's like saying
well the measurement of height is arbitrary
and the earth is in fact smoother than a golf ball, and nothing we do here is noticeable on a celestial scale
so what's the difference between climbing mt. rainier and walking up and down the stairs at work for the same vertical?

any way you slice it, some activities are more challenging, complex and fulfilling than others. meaning may be arbitrary but humans are not.

if you want life to stop feeling pointless
do something hard, that takes a long time to learn
fuck up. in public.
compete.

give life a point and it won't be pointless.
>>
>>
Wesley Croggleville - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:00:48 EST ID:o73XImOz No.528901 Ignore Report Reply
>>528816
woebot is a free CBT app you might like

Your hobbies don't sound like things you can rely on to be uplifting, but I could be wrong. is there any activity that leaves you with more spoons than you started with?

I am sure you know about the "tyranny of the shoulds" might be worth revisiting that, you are very hard on yourself, and you can be if you want to be, ok? being hard on yourself isn't a flaw that you have to beat yourself up over, nor is a lack of self care. maybe you are too stressed in general and haven't got the spoons for self care


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