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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

Loneliness

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- Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:53:37 EST uqdIaLAk No.528919
File: 1556034817188.jpg -(29615B / 28.92KB, 720x363) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Loneliness
How do I deal with evergrowing loneliness? I've been getting substantially lonelier over the last
years, I left my home country to live with my girlfriend, which is fine, we get along great, she is
very dear to me and one of my bestest friends, we have been through a lot.
I never made any real friends since I moved here, a few acquintances here and there but never
someone who gave me that feeling of a connection. I have 3 people tops I consider to be true friends
but they live +1000Km away.
In the beginning it didn't really bother me, I never was an expressive person, I always needed a lot
of time before I feel comfortable around someone and most of the time I get by great by
myself. Whenever I felt the need to socialize i'd go to a bar, get drunk and have fun, which isn't
an option anymore since I stopped drinking and I do not plan to start again, no way José, it almost
killed me and I realise what enormous impact it has had on my mental health and capacities the last
decade, finally I'm getting my shit together, I'm learning what I'm good at and that most of my
previous aspirations where mostly composed of wishfull thinking and a lack of self knowledge.
My girlfriend has a job that absorbs quite some time since a few months and I'm mostly studying
anyway.

But i'm starting to feel the weight and side effects from being alone, social situations get
increasingly difficult, I avoid people as much as i can since I constantly feel like everyone is
judging me even though I know I shouldn't care and I know it's probably not even true. But knowing
and feeling are two different things. I'm closing myself off at a very fast
pace. From my family, few friends i have and even my girlfriend. It's like I'm telling myself that
I'm better off alone, I don't need anyone in my life but myself. We all know that's bullshit because
I'm only a human and i have strong social needs like everyone else. But if things continue this way I'm
sure to become a "hermit".

The cynical feeling is so strong too, I feel so lost in the current day world, whenever I go to the
supermarket/shopping mall/city I feel completely dead inside, I live in a rural area because I reallly
don't like living in cities and I love tending a garden way too much, and my dog needs her space
like me. I'm on this downwards spiral and I have no clue how to get off, talking about it is
practically impossible, expressing my feelings feels like making the sun rise in the west. I'm
terrified for my future and feel completely incapable of changing the course.

I hope I made sense, I'm not a very coherent writer most of the times.
Thank you.
>>
Reuben Cammlefoot - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 14:40:09 EST UZ9BzlLq No.528921 Reply
>>528919
You're going to need new hobbies. I actually did the go to the bar and not drink thing and it actually works if it's a cool place with decent people. Turn up early though so you're not shocked how jarringly drunk everyone is.

Or yeah new hobbies? Depends what you like though.
>>
!scyTheNg3k - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:16:54 EST /U8zYy3Q No.528923 Reply
>>528919
Keep old friendships going. Don't try to make relationships progress. If you judge people, be willing to forgive them. Just stay in touch with the people you meet. After a few years, you might become good friends, or you might not. It takes time.

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