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#qq on IRC

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!GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST d5kHsYag No.518069
File: 1502640889138.jpg -(66697B / 65.13KB, 500x383) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. #qq on IRC
Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
>>
Phineas Soblingford - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:51:04 EST bwJOb6Ln No.518073 Reply
>>518069

who is us? which IRC server? how do I know you won't gently nudge me over the edge like that nurse who used to enter the suicide pacts and then her skype always "failed" at the last minute so she would just watch the other person die and then move on to the next person?
>>
Mintzs !GD3wBpep0Y - Mon, 14 Aug 2017 08:29:02 EST d5kHsYag No.518080 Reply
>>518073

Haha, what the fuck! No, no nurses here.

irc.420chan.org #qq
Us = Anyone in the channel, there's about 10 of us who normally reside there for anyone coming in with problems. Three of them are people who have come in with problems before and have stayed.
>>
Jack Pickfuck - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 14:04:08 EST bvxd4h2s No.518125 Reply
>>518088
I already have installed XChat but I've never used it and I don't know if it's good.
>>
Angus Cezzlechare - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 17:28:46 EST /brn2RiX No.518132 Reply
man now i gotta look at a fuckin banana whenever i visit this board
>>
Ebenezer Bardforth - Mon, 21 Aug 2017 14:58:58 EST bJ2LE8mc No.518239 Reply
1503341938214.jpg -(12392B / 12.10KB, 180x203) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>518132
It makes me think of snorks from STALKER. And I hate snorks.

mintz ruins something once more.
>>
Samuel Memblecocke - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 06:48:33 EST 1505Uoxr No.518336 Reply
>>518132
I bet you this fucking banana saved some lives

just reminds me of the druids off star wars
>>
Cornelius Cabberspear - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 09:42:16 EST nvypr5d8 No.518337 Reply
Is this shit pinned or something? It's always at the top every time I visit qq.
>>
William Bubbersodge - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 13:41:55 EST UjNuOR6B No.518340 Reply
>>518337
yeah if u look at the header at far right u see a little paperclip
>>
Walter Dongerworth - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 21:35:19 EST eH7FoqZP No.518365 Reply
>>518363
Did you try what >>518091 suggested? It uses your web browser. If it helps, I'm using Chrome.
>>
Phineas Drerringlut - Tue, 29 Aug 2017 23:18:52 EST S4bGwxLS No.518450 Reply
>>518091
Just follow this link, set your nickname (or leave it as Reuben, it doesn't matter) and then when you are connected type "/j #qq"
>>
David Shakeshit - Fri, 15 Sep 2017 16:43:36 EST xWV2176R No.518811 Reply
1505508216893.jpg -(66307B / 64.75KB, 604x453) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I have two friends that genuinely like me, yet I hang out with this one asshat that always rips me of. Do I even deserve happiness?
Having a borderline personality disorder is so much fun.
>>
Fanny Blackspear - Wed, 20 Sep 2017 03:03:43 EST Ix5ljcqH No.518872 Reply
>>518811
Must suck. Maybe act the way you would if you loved yourself.

I care for a lady with borderline and schizophrenia and yeah the borderline stuff is tricky, keeping us on our toes avoiding any slight trigger. But then the delusions kick in and it's just a tragedy really.
>>
Hedda Honeyhall - Wed, 20 Sep 2017 03:28:20 EST JI9kO00V No.518873 Reply
>>518811
It's been taking sheer willpower to get over mine. I really struggle with the false/true abandonment perception. Makes me push people away that probably had no intention of abandoning me. Takes A LOT of concious effort for me to talk myself out of those thoughts, and not breaking all my shit at the slightest bit of frustration.

But I'm getting a lot better. It doesn't suck that I have BPD. It sucks that BPD will never get a chance to shine through me again. Sucks for BPD that is.

Don't need to pump yourself full of meds either, just a strong will, and a desire to change. It's not going to happen magically. Make the concious effort to do what you know is right for yourself.
>>
Hedda Honeyhall - Wed, 20 Sep 2017 03:30:03 EST JI9kO00V No.518875 Reply
>>518873
And if it helps or matters, I suffer from cluster B traits.
>>
Oliver Bunspear - Mon, 25 Sep 2017 08:52:06 EST EaBcbC0O No.518984 Reply
>>518069
But I thought IRC was an aggressive shithole of pretension and pride?
>>
Cedric Femblefedging - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 00:43:57 EST NgmtMeLq No.519126 Reply
1506833037844.jpg -(199955B / 195.27KB, 1407x987) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I have some weird bumps on my legs that I'm concerned about, can I post pics and get your guys' advice?

BWH
>>
Gnarly McGoblin - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 13:12:22 EST XNoolq1Y No.519133 Reply
I kina accidentally purposefully stabbed myself one inch deep in my arm today with dirty scissors.
Now I got high and regret doing it. Lef-loathing whoops.
I've come to the conclusion that every human being can be a natural disaster on its own.
>>519126
Don't post infected wounds or leprosy-ebola-tier pictures. Cysts are okay.
>>
killshot - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 23:08:38 EST a/UwdCqG No.519410 Reply
don't forget to put it down on the new world order
>>
killshot - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 23:12:18 EST a/UwdCqG No.519413 Reply
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until the coming of JAH!
>>
Jack Fangold - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 00:28:53 EST Gl/wq+Sz No.519486 Reply
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what a wonderful idea and sticky
>>
Barnaby Dartway - Tue, 31 Oct 2017 16:29:20 EST 5/+dXwEn No.519750 Reply
Well, I'm a 24 years old Armenian guy who's living in a country wich is a full of shit and corruption, with no future, with no hope, with a jobs where companies are taking people and making them to work for free about 1-2 months and then saying that they don't need a new employee(so let's just say a country with no jobs), and even if you're working, you're getting.
Here you must work 10-12 hours just to get 4-5$ per day.
>>
Esther Fuckingson - Wed, 01 Nov 2017 21:57:53 EST zoMNIEw8 No.519766 Reply
>>519750
Shit mang you gotta dip outta there. Come to US and make $20 an hour. Spend it all on things you don't need and be just as miserable but with more grandiose steps in between
>>
Polly Bromblekit - Thu, 02 Nov 2017 06:52:00 EST 2YnyrWIY No.519774 Reply
>>519766
I would if I could, my uncle and grandmother are living in US about more then 27-years, they're sending me a visa but your fucking emassy aren't letting me to go there.
>>
Reuben Packlefure - Thu, 02 Nov 2017 08:28:47 EST T3h0qR5w No.519777 Reply
>>519774

I'm sorry. I hope you end up making it here. We would love to have you! I wish you the best
>>
Gnarly McGoblin - Thu, 02 Nov 2017 11:16:35 EST EGdPFm/E No.519779 Reply
Can you fall in love with a couple, or is it impossible due to social standards?
I drink too much.
>>
Sophie Duckstone - Thu, 02 Nov 2017 19:20:27 EST 5yYYR0y+ No.519787 Reply
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>>519779
>social standards
nigga what

poly relationships are shit 9 times out of 10 because at least one person won't be able to handle it. it has nothing to do with social standards ya goof, romantic entanglements with more than one person are messy and prone to disaster and should be avoided at all costs because human beings are overwhelmingly not meant for that.
>>
Albert Chinnernatch - Sat, 04 Nov 2017 08:06:36 EST 2F6ZF59I No.519814 Reply
My life has been pureshit for a long ass fucking time. I dont think ive been content in my entire life. My throat hurts after fucking a japanese prostitute and putting her cum in my mouth, im relapsing into my addiction and now i cant get this fucking juice bottle open. Fucking hell. Worst of all theres an asshole doing gardening late at night and its almost certainly a hallucination. Fuck.
>>
Charlotte Clonnerstitch - Fri, 10 Nov 2017 21:43:03 EST sM5nvTHu No.519937 Reply
>>519787

>this

Niel strauss wrote a whole big bit about poly relationships in his book The Truth. Basically someone is going to vie for the attention of someone and the other person will be left out and then that will cause drama and the person who is the focus of the attention with try to balance it out by giving the other people attention which upsets the original person who wanted attention which makes the person give them a little more attention which upsets the other people and so on so forth until it all collapses and everyone goes home.

He said the only way it can actually theoritcally work out is if all members of the relationship are fully committed to poly relationships. but he noted what normally happens is you have two people currently in a mono relationship who branch out to have sex with other members who are basically just being used for sex, there is no real relationship because they tend to stick together no matter what where the other people are always left on the outside of the actual relationship but are lulled into the false sense of a relationship by ticking the boxes of "dates" and so on.

Its a great book you should read it.
>>
Sophie Pockworth - Sat, 11 Nov 2017 15:32:13 EST KbKvqV7e No.519946 Reply
>>519937
There's quite a few stable arrangements that can work but I have to admit I've only seen relationships where everyone had a primary partner work out. Whether it's actually just open with one couple or it's a complex arrangement, every poly arrangment I've seen or even read about has involved several stable couples coming together. Not everyone has to be poly though. You could have two couples with a partner who is very demanding and one who doesn't mind a bit more free time. Next thing you know you've got 2 guys getting more shed time while their girlfriends go fuck.

I've seen several poly arrangements fail and the reason is always the same shit that'd kill a normal relationship however there has been much more variability in the fallout.

All that said I couldn't be fucked with poly relationships because that shit always gets fucking complicated and navigating one relationship is both plenty for me and more than I am usually able to get. Also what I said doesn't directly contradict anything you said because it does require everyone be fully committed not just to poly relationships but that particular one. And yes a lot of the time it's often just an open mono relationship trying to pretend it's more. And aside from the pretension, as long as you're honest with everyone involved that is actually fine.
>>
Cedric Pickbanks - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 01:29:12 EST ZMDYtLUz No.519959 Reply
>>519946
>every poly arrangment I've seen or even read about has involved several stable couples coming together. Not everyone has to be poly though

The problem with these is that they're basically just threesome groups.

I despise poly'amorous' relationships because there's no actual love involved. You want a third for fucking. If you tell me you want a third for anything else you're a lying shit. You want a third because muh variety. Fine. Be honest about it. Don't bullshit people along with this idea that love is cheap, because it's not. It never is.
>>
Jenny Clashhood - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 07:04:41 EST KbKvqV7e No.519963 Reply
>>519959
They weren't threesome groups.

There were definitely primary and secondary couples but there was never a threesome. And there was definitely emotional involvement and/or love. I knew I still know one, this was one of the messier breakups these people so you're not going to persuade me you know them better. I don't want to go into the personal details of my friend's personal life but the breakup made it clear he lost more than just a warm hole or even a friend with benefits when he lost his second partner. But she was his second partner.

They weren't going with cheap free love though. These were people who put a lot of effort and thought into making it work, and ironically fell into normal relationship pitfalls. Maybe these arrangements are really rare (the exceptions that prove the rule or whatever) but I know what I saw.
>>
Cedric Pickbanks - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 16:35:04 EST ZMDYtLUz No.519967 Reply
>>519963
Plenty of people say they see it, none ever step forward for perusal. I've seen many more times people hurt by the mad desire for a third over helped.
>>
otherkevin - Mon, 20 Nov 2017 04:38:18 EST OpyraFTY No.520175 Reply
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the vast majority of people that come through never establish themselves.
i think that anyone with the time to engage with the community on its own terms will find that they can drum up an insightful conversation.
i think that it's unfair to expect strangers to engage with your shit basically on the premise that you want them to.
gotta make it worth their while, one way or another.

tldr; this isn't a therapist's office. lower your expectations.
>>
Ebenezer Sunnerbeck - Thu, 23 Nov 2017 04:03:00 EST ZMDYtLUz No.520224 Reply
>>520175
Doesn't mean your advice can't be retarded, and it is, often.
>>
Phyllis Dartville - Fri, 24 Nov 2017 15:55:31 EST JE9PIiPq No.520247 Reply
There's no one there
>>
Hamilton Fasslewell - Thu, 30 Nov 2017 02:06:43 EST /Be4u+Fy No.520388 Reply
Fucking sick of this banana cunt's face eveyrytime
>>
Jack Muttingfield - Thu, 30 Nov 2017 23:40:55 EST esuyK5FE No.520402 Reply
unsticky this thread no one is going to be saved from suicide by a qq IRC and the banana is far too tiresome
>>
James Soblingway - Sun, 03 Dec 2017 11:10:42 EST 5mr627pH No.520454 Reply
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the banana is my friend
>>
Phyllis Fibberwane - Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:37:11 EST B9o+UJ3t No.520773 Reply
>>518073
I'm on the server sometimes, and I know for a fact that the only people who even have /qq/ on their auto join are decent people. They wouldn't bother with it to troll as it's dead most of the time. It's basically just there in case someone wants to talk and there are people around. But we're not there all the time.

You have a decent chance of catching me on there any night ~10pm-1am Central.
>>
Eliza Tootspear - Mon, 01 Jan 2018 17:57:50 EST h/1sxUpj No.521054 Reply
>>518073
"She" also turned out to be a 40something year old man.
nb
>>
Reuben Pickford - Tue, 02 Jan 2018 23:07:24 EST B4kGJF8k No.521112 Reply
>>518069
mind me if i ask how to join the IRC? never use it before
>>
Esther Lightfield - Sat, 06 Jan 2018 08:43:19 EST kAEKpfyQ No.521220 Reply
>>521113
A link to the board IRC is at the top right corner of the page.
>>
Reuben Chuffingdale - Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:03:10 EST siIHIzFP No.521719 Reply
are you a new mod mintz
>>
Isabella Sangermit - Sat, 10 Feb 2018 21:13:55 EST kB1LgM62 No.522091 Reply
1518315235619.jpg -(70150B / 68.51KB, 568x533) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>521944

I, for one, welcome our new overlord Mintzs. May you herald a new age of modding, less akin to a steaming heap, and more alike a golden Hiffwe statue. Praise be!
>>
Ernest Fuckingfuck - Sun, 11 Feb 2018 19:35:06 EST 7IGW3+Ip No.522133 Reply
>>522091

why doesnt he start by banning the neonazi on /n/ that i reported 6 times
>>
Ernest Snoddale - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 12:10:29 EST Q3TQO9f4 No.522185 Reply
>>522133

Because Spunky was the only mod that bothered with /n/ and now he's fallen from grace because of frogposters on proxies constantly bitching about him on /420/
>>
Clara Drallercocke - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 16:06:10 EST WEiGJLMT No.522197 Reply
>>522185
you mean because spardot has been drinking the alt right koolaid
>>
Isabella Saffingville - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 18:31:56 EST ilcXZXCD No.522201 Reply
>>522185

if you think the criticisms of spunky are coming from frogposters you are talking out of your ass. kirt and spardot have both acknowledged he has been overmodding. he ruined a /lit/ thread by mistake. genuine 420channers had their pitchforks out for him for a little while. they even made that hilarious gem where all the retarded-style mods were comforting brainless spunky
>>
Ian Bemmleridge - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 21:25:16 EST Q3TQO9f4 No.522204 Reply
>>522201

That /lit/ thing was because of how nuking works (all your posts everywhere gets deleted), and I'll take Spunky's over-modding over too little modding any day. Remember the 2016 election? If Spunky wasn't around, /n/, /b/ and /pol/ would have been overrun with 15 year-old frogposting cunts and everyone else who weren't retarded or underage would've jumped ship.

The only thing separating this site from 4chodes is that this chan is actually moderated. People who get banned will always bitch and moan about it, however.
>>
Martha Dinnerbury - Wed, 14 Feb 2018 04:20:19 EST ilcXZXCD No.522215 Reply
>>522204

all im saying is criticizing spunky, does not mean someone is a frog
>>
Simon Fanworth - Thu, 15 Feb 2018 09:43:42 EST jmwR2CRr No.522260 Reply
>>522204

Can spunky please be unleashed upon /b/?

Also I felt like killing myself but I feel better now. #bipolarlife. Wonder how long it will last haha
>>
Mintzs !GD3wBpep0Y - Thu, 01 Mar 2018 13:40:51 EST d5kHsYag No.522602 Reply
I'll keep trying my best for the site to keep it clean.
Please keep reporting if people are being shitheads.

Also, don't forget to drop in and see us on IRC if you're ever lonely and want to talk.
>>
Eliza Seffingman - Wed, 14 Mar 2018 08:25:48 EST AzHAtHBn No.522800 Reply
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>>522602

Bless you, mintzs. You give me a faint sliver of hope that we may yet return to our formorous gloriosity... Ah. Well. Have at, and be well!
>>
Polly Benningnodge - Tue, 20 Mar 2018 18:58:05 EST Q3TQO9f4 No.522945 Reply
>>522924

Yes, and I am here to persecute you. Better watch out, for I have entered certain suggestive words into the report field so you'll probably be banned any second now.
>>
Alice Sundlebanks - Wed, 21 Mar 2018 14:41:57 EST Po6uY38Z No.522960 Reply
>>522945
>persecute

more like obsess when you could user-ignore
>>
Frederick Cluddleshit - Thu, 22 Mar 2018 15:11:32 EST mhfl7mmC No.522984 Reply
chet - ban
nechet - ne ban
>>
Ebenezer Snodman - Tue, 17 Apr 2018 06:26:12 EST qrma4kyX No.523507 Reply
>>523482
i dont have money but i can send u my love?
>>
Angus Gundledale - Tue, 17 Apr 2018 20:53:18 EST vATdGl2v No.523525 Reply
>>523250
I believe you've nb'd a stickied post my dude
>>
Cedric Blibberway - Tue, 24 Apr 2018 17:38:22 EST Gsj6KPRg No.523599 Reply
I am in a relationship but i miss my ex. We have similar minds. We both still have feelings for each other. He tries to contact me. Do u believe that you can be friends with someone you still have feengs for?l
>>
Sidney Greenhood - Wed, 25 Apr 2018 06:17:58 EST 4q0D8s60 No.523609 Reply
>>523599
No, especially if you're in a monogamous relationship with someone else.
Gotta wait for those feelings to die before you can be friends; and that's what it is: death. You must learn to grieve those feelings and accept that they are fading.
Unless somehow you end up being with him again. In that case, good on ya
>>
Reuben Burringwill - Fri, 27 Apr 2018 13:25:17 EST QvcxQVsf No.523668 Reply
>>523599
Yes it absolutely is.

The way I think of it, unless you were literally only in it for the sex, relationships are predicated on complimentary personalities. Why would you cut someone who complimented your personality out of your life forever just because you don't get to be naked and sweaty with them anymore?
>>
Augustus Brunningfoot - Fri, 27 Apr 2018 14:05:19 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523669 Reply
>>523668
Because the reason you bonded before was your complementing personalities, and a straight consequence of that was having sex, which isnt about getting naked and sweaty, is about connecting with the person that compliments your personality.
so if you're in a relationship and happy its a fucking joke to be friends with your ex still, if youre not happy just get out of the relationship and get together again.
>>
Wesley Cundlestidging - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 11:37:45 EST QvcxQVsf No.523710 Reply
>>523669
Do you have friends that you don't have sex with?
>>
Hamilton Buzzwell - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 12:00:24 EST FhIorvpc No.523711 Reply
>>523710
Yes. none of them are girls. why would you not have sex with someone who you are attracted to both physically and emotionally? it's basic human instinct. there's no girl/guy friendship unless one of them is ugly as fuck.
>>
Wesley Cundlestidging - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 13:22:58 EST QvcxQVsf No.523712 Reply
>>523711
Cause a thing called self control exists, and it's useful if you want to navigate the world.

Wouldn't it be useful even in just the sense that you don't get led around by your dick by people who have far more experience playing sexuality as an advantage than you will ever have?
>>
Wesley Cundlestidging - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 13:28:20 EST QvcxQVsf No.523713 Reply
And I'm not talking like volcel bullshit, I mean just the capacity to not fuck a girl you get along with just cause you get along with them, and at least be vaguely okay with that.

I get it might be hard, but to say it's impossible just means you've never bothered to try.
>>
Thomas Cusslefoot - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 14:23:51 EST ZeRHOq54 No.523718 Reply
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>>523711
>it's basic human instinct. there's no girl/guy friendship unless one of them is ugly as fuck.

That's bullshit and you know it, the only people who think this way are insecure men. I've never met a woman or a happy man who thinks like you do. Everything in life is not about sex, we're more than just animals. Sex is just one of many ways to form an emotional bond with someone. If you can't tell the difference between idle lust and genuine love you'll be doomed to a life of the former.
>>
Hugh Brusslewill - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 15:55:49 EST OHp7Bid0 No.523720 Reply
>>523718
>That's bullshit and you know it

I think what he meant to say was that there's no girl/guy friendship where both are attractive without one wanting to have sex with the other (even if, realistically speaking, it's not going to happen).

I have never been "just friends" with a girl I find attractive, because I would always be trying to have sex with her and if it didn't work I would ditch the friendship because the blue balls I'd get would be too painful. The only situation in which I could be "friends" with an attractive girl is if she was one of the following:

a) the girlfriend of a friend or relative, in which case it's more of circumstantial friendship and I'd probably not be attracted to her anyway due to her relationship with a friend/relative
b) a lesbian, in which case I'd do my best to get a threesome going or convince her to ride the disco stick at least once in her carpet munching life

That's it. Anyone who tells you any different is either wrong, gay or a total beta stallion.
>>
Nell Sucklecocke - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 21:22:42 EST 2P3gvdxW No.523723 Reply
>I want to have sex with someone. Therefore we can't be friends.
It's not the sex part that's the problem though guys. You know it's the feelings. Despite pretending to be penis enthralled grunts, it's true that men are precious little wildflowers that bloom at the remotest emotional intimacy that they don't get from other blokes. Thats what you men are afraid of when you say you cant be friends with women. Falling in love too soon to any girl that lets you be yourself for 5 minutes around her.

We don't have to have sex with everybody we want to. We don't fall in love with everyone we have sex with. We don't even have to like someone to have sex with them. It's all bullshit to protect your fragile little emotions bros. Take it from a guy preaching the same shit 10 years ago.
>>
Jack Clayworth - Sat, 28 Apr 2018 22:39:18 EST C+6NY20y No.523724 Reply
>>523720

now take all of this knowledge and imagine your job is mostly females in yoga pants and you want to bang almost every coworker and you will begin to know my suffering
>>
Emma Docklelock - Sun, 29 Apr 2018 00:16:12 EST QvcxQVsf No.523728 Reply
>>523720
How is it "alpha" to not be able to handle the mildest sexual tension without pain and misery? The only thing not having a handle on your sex drive makes you is far more likely to become a rapist.

I mean, replace sex with drugs here:
"I have never been 'just friends' with a girl who can get me drugs, because I would always be trying to get drugs off her, and if I couldn't get them I would ditch the friendship because the withdrawals would be too painful."
Does that make you "alpha" or a manipulative fucking addict?
>>
Hannah Clattingbanks - Sun, 29 Apr 2018 12:47:22 EST HyExONGu No.523739 Reply
>>523723
Yeah but it's also possible to just be friends with a woman without falling in love.

It's probably easier if you're shit at women and have a lot of practice at not getting hungup on them than if you're used to getting what you want most of the time.
>>
Wesley Sudgedale - Sun, 29 Apr 2018 23:58:29 EST omtoMFde No.523751 Reply
>>523739
No shit.

Lol to the second thing though. I dont think anybody ever really gets what they want but if you're having regular satisfying sex, it's a hell of a lot easier to disregard an opposite gender friend's attractiveness.

It's the incels that mow down people in the street after all.
>>
Nicholas Lightbury - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 08:08:13 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523754 Reply
>>523718
?
What you're saying is kinda irrelevant especially the last sentence
what i was trying to say is that, to me, it's impossible to be friends with someone that i find attractive sexually. and im not a fucking enthusiastic virgin beta, i have a long term gf and have had my share of girls in my life. i dont even get too upset about "rejection" or try too hard or at all. It's just the fact.
I can't be "friends" and "I want to fuck you" at the same time with someone. To me that's contradicting. I also don't like pointless flirting. girls who have many guy "friends" actually don't, they just tease and flirt with them all the time, endlessly, keeping the guys hopes up. that's "friendship" between attractive guys and girls in my experience.
>>
Nicholas Lightbury - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 08:12:38 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523755 Reply
>>523712
but what the fuck is the point being friends with someone, hanging out, just to control my will to fuck her??? I can hang out with guys and that way i dont have to worry about controlling my boner.
its not like I fuck every single girl i talk to, or i think i will, i just dont make friends with the attractive ones, cause why? just to "control" my desire to fuck her all the time? what is the point when you don't have to do that with guys?
if you have to constantly control your feelings around someone you can never be honest friends. If you always think "damn this bitch is fine, i want that ass" in the back of your head you can never be completely honest with that bitch.
It's not about being able to control it, of course i dont go up to every single female aquintance of mine trying to fuck them.
>>
Rebecca Farringsuck - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 10:55:17 EST QvcxQVsf No.523756 Reply
>>523755
>that way i dont have to worry about controlling my boner
>of course i dont go up to every single female aquintance of mine trying to fuck them

So what you're actually worried about isn't fucking them, but getting a boner in public? Presumably if you were gay, you would have been completely unable to form friendships with guys?
>>
Nicholas Lightbury - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 11:13:20 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523757 Reply
>>523756
Omg man. The word "boner" wasnt supposed to be taken literally there.
I'm just saying don't you find it kinda dishonest if you have to "control" your sexual urges all the time around your friend? because if she's a hot girl that's all you can do. So how can you really be friends when she talks about her bf and all you can think about is boi i'd tap dat ass. how does that work? because if you tell her about your desires the friendship is gonna be ruined, if you don't then you're holding your feelings back in front of your friend. That's not a honest friendship to me, more like a game to see who fucks who first, or who rejects who first.
>>
Nicholas Lightbury - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 11:19:18 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523758 Reply
>>523757
And thats why i say it only works if one party is ugly as fuck so there's no sexual tension. if there is it can never be an honest friendship because one or both parties will always hide their real reactions and feelings. thats not a fucking friendship
sorry for double post
>>
Basil Gumblespear - Mon, 30 Apr 2018 22:29:01 EST QvcxQVsf No.523777 Reply
>>523757
>So how can you really be friends when she talks about her bf and all you can think about is boi i'd tap dat ass.

So if one of your guy friends got a hot girlfriend you felt like fucking, you'd have to stop being friends with them You wouldn't be able to be "honest" about fucking his girlfriend, so the only option available to you is to never talk to him, right?
>>
Fuck Dennerforth - Tue, 01 May 2018 01:23:25 EST JbZ9OEV8 No.523781 Reply
>>523757
How often do you have sex? Don't you get enough to at least ignore your lust for a few hours?
>>
Jarvis Dartbanks - Tue, 01 May 2018 11:49:04 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523783 Reply
>>523781
All the time.
you just dont want to understand the point. its not about having difficulties controlling my desire to fuck them or i feel like its overwhelming or i always think about it, its the fact that they exist and always will exist, because im a heterosexual male and she's a good loking woman. And sexual desire to me has no place in a friendship
>>
Jack Harringchudge - Tue, 01 May 2018 18:18:33 EST eusxCiqt No.523792 Reply
>>523783
So feelings are feelings. You cannot control your feelings only how you act on them. I think it's stupid as fuck to be held responsible for feelings. Actions and intentions are different from feelings. If your feelings control you and you have absolutely no control over them then get therapy. You do not have to engage with every feeling you have, they are like ideas. Sometimes you have good ideas that steer you in the right direction and you should seek to encourage such thoughts, while if you have dumb ideas you should learn to acknowledge them briefly then just let them be. If they often occur then change your patterns of behavior and thought so that they become rarer.

I think you're making excuses and this isn't the real reason. Or you're just being a drama queen.
>>
Wesley Clirringhood - Tue, 01 May 2018 23:21:31 EST QvcxQVsf No.523804 Reply
>>523783
>its not about having difficulties controlling my desire to fuck them or i feel like its overwhelming or i always think about it

Then what IS your problem?

It seems like you've simply defined friendship as having no sexual thoughts whatsoever, and therefor you couldn't possibly be friends with girls, despite the fact that sounds like it would be simple for you. The inconsequential nature of these thoughts is apparently irrelevant.

Are you really discounting half the population from friendship based on absolutely nothing but this vague principle that doesn't make any sense?
>>
Simon Dragglesadging - Wed, 02 May 2018 05:15:15 EST glZ6cPk8 No.523813 Reply
>>523804
to me it makes sense, i dont want to secretely/seldom want to fuck my friends... feelsbadman.jpg i'm completely fine with guy friends, girls aren't as fun most of the time anyway. I'm yet to see an IRL scenario where there's real honest friendship between a guy and a girl and the girl isn't just leading the guy on
>>
Eliza Brimmleforth - Thu, 03 May 2018 19:05:29 EST GdUFLhMN No.523839 Reply
>>523813
Get married friends.

I'm feeling suicidal as all get out and hate myself.
>>
Esther Packleforth - Sat, 05 May 2018 13:22:29 EST hjdKGFK5 No.523869 Reply
i hate everything today
>>
Caroline Givingson - Sun, 06 May 2018 18:51:53 EST KoTr0pX/ No.523890 Reply
R.I.P. Syn, I understand that he was a good guy and all, but isn't it the time to remove that fucking "Fuck Cancer" post from below the page?
Even Yojimbo didn't got a such a long honor when he died, nobody just gived a single fuck about him to honor his memory!
>>
Betsy Chullernet - Sat, 12 May 2018 18:22:21 EST im6khaI6 No.524056 Reply
No seriously. Does /asp/ mean anti social personality?

How and where the fuck do I get help without people recognizing my car?
>>
Charlotte Herringspear - Sun, 13 May 2018 02:16:15 EST QvcxQVsf No.524058 Reply
>>524056
Pretty sure the abbreviation is ASPD. Asp usually just refers to aspies.
>>
Phineas Tillingwater - Mon, 14 May 2018 03:26:40 EST m19TYEQf No.524070 Reply
>>524056
>Where the fuck do I get get help without people recognising my car?

Do you live in a small town or is it paranoia you need help with?
>>
Betsy Drarrywock - Sun, 03 Jun 2018 20:57:22 EST g/HREnuZ No.524588 Reply
My whole ISP has been G-lined, how the fuck am I supposed to connect

Virgin Media is like the biggest ISP in the UK
>>
Sophie Fuckingfoot - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 07:35:58 EST QsbKOlZ5 No.524628 Reply
>>524588
Welcome to 420chan. I'm glad at least I can post here, there was a time when my entire broad geographical location was banned from the site.
>>
Nell Granddock - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 12:24:47 EST dsn+wF/X No.524636 Reply
>>524628
Probably during the russian botnet attack? That was a case of (I would hope regretfully though I imagine it was actually a pretty indifferent action) throwing some baby out to prevent the drowning in bathwater.
>>
Barnaby Clebbernedging - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 03:03:48 EST 6x4kH2lA No.525122 Reply
I fucking hate this banana
>>
Frederick Cuddlestone - Mon, 02 Jul 2018 09:26:01 EST B/1t3ZFg No.525219 Reply
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>>525173
just kiddin' I love bananas especially after a long day of fasting.
>>
Ebenezer Wimmerwater - Mon, 02 Jul 2018 21:33:26 EST 4TDtN/UQ No.525239 Reply
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I've become an absolute disgusting piece of shit. Although I have the capacity to get better, my mentality still holds me back, emotional distress, guilt, substance abuse, etc. By disgusting, I don't just mean mentally, I also mean physically. I have lice all over my body, not sure if it is some kind of parasite, I think it's in my stomach as well, and all this is due to being sexually active off meth, getting involved with meth hoes. Im embarrassed to go to a doctor or even go out, and I have no money to get better. I know I'm being a little bitch but literally, I took everything for granted, I'm going to be 22 next month. Has anyone gone through something like this? There is more to this story but those details will come off really methed up, lol, get it? MEDICORE UNDER-ACHIEVING HUMOUR
>>
Simon Bluvingham - Mon, 02 Jul 2018 22:00:40 EST ehhnNOgT No.525240 Reply
>>525239
Go to the store and buy some lice medication like nix. If you can't afford it, maybe try going to a free clinic or some sort of charity. Gotta get deloused as step one before you do anything. I've heard pumpkin seeds and pumpkin seed extract are good for parasites in the stomach but maybe that's just for tapeworms.
>>
Edwin Chillerworth - Tue, 03 Jul 2018 10:45:12 EST USUZpST+ No.525249 Reply
>>525239
>lice
>some kind of parasite
>in my stomach as well
I mean you may have lice but more likely you have Morgellons by which I mean you have meth-induced delusional parasitosis.
>>
Molly Famblehood - Tue, 03 Jul 2018 14:24:55 EST cBYQH4Mo No.525256 Reply
>>525239

u prob got scabies n crabs n shit dude see a doc and burn all your linens
>>
Hugh Gubblepuck - Mon, 13 Aug 2018 23:40:31 EST LiDoGP54 No.526110 Reply
social anxiety sucks ass
>>
Lillian Gaddlegold - Wed, 15 Aug 2018 20:30:25 EST SHhda2fi No.526141 Reply
>>526110

I used to have bad social anxiety.

Now I just don't care about forming relationships with other people. It's exhausting and a waste of time and money. I'd rather be learning things or making money.
>>
' God !!Bwteoy2D - Thu, 16 Aug 2018 02:34:19 EST B/1t3ZFg No.526143 Reply
>>526141
Like 90 percent of most peoples energy is supposed to be grounded by other people which means we are mostly born to serve other homo sapiens.
>>
Hamilton Blythestone - Thu, 16 Aug 2018 14:17:17 EST Om/gGBzM No.526163 Reply
>>526156
'God used to be Awe god and he posted stupid drivel then. Usually I don't like to speak up about people who are genuinely trying to help but if people actually take him seriously he becomes dangerous.
>>
Fanny Cebbertog - Mon, 20 Aug 2018 18:12:19 EST dwxJXzd4 No.526273 Reply
how do i join one of thse stupid fucking servers

i donwloaded the mirc thing and can't connect to anything, i'm always just in a chat room alone and pretty much always want to kill myself
>>
Jenny Cidgehall - Wed, 22 Aug 2018 21:25:52 EST cBYQH4Mo No.526298 Reply
>>526273

IRC is like 140 years old. if you cant figure it out then you are the dumb one.
>>
Phoebe Turveywell - Thu, 23 Aug 2018 10:16:48 EST dwxJXzd4 No.526306 Reply
>>526298
i got it to work but then my free trial ended, guess i;ll kill myself, llel
>>
Isabella Blobbledad - Thu, 23 Aug 2018 18:55:23 EST USUZpST+ No.526316 Reply
>>526306
Use something that isn't on a free trial basis then. Try hexchat
>>
Nicholas Hommerstock - Sat, 25 Aug 2018 17:01:23 EST cBYQH4Mo No.526347 Reply
>>526306

heres a little secret: when it says your trial is expired and it doesnt let you click the continue button, wait about 20 seconds... then the button becomes active. ive used a free trial of mirc for about 8 years.
>>
Edward Buzzstock - Sun, 26 Aug 2018 17:27:05 EST dwxJXzd4 No.526359 Reply
>>526347
that's the thing though, i did that too, but after awhile that stopped working

instead of being a grey "continue" button that you could eventually press, it was replaced with a grey "exit" button, that would close the program when pressed
>>
Nathaniel Turveyville - Mon, 27 Aug 2018 21:32:04 EST CzsIkqaR No.526377 Reply
>>526361
which one nibba

it took me like two hours to fucking figure out the first one
>>
Fanny Clinderfuck - Tue, 28 Aug 2018 11:24:02 EST dwxJXzd4 No.526384 Reply
>>526382
No, you fuck off

great conversation friend, you shouldn't literally go kill yourself
>>
Jarvis Sungerlot - Tue, 28 Aug 2018 18:28:19 EST 1bXgNl08 No.526406 Reply
I had to give a presentation about web development and cloud shit today and I nearly had a panic attack. My voice was kind of anxious-sounding and my heart rate was higher and I was shaking and shit. Overall it was ok, I'm leading a group project and teaching people how to code, but I'm an anxious mess and my anxiety is ruining my life. I'm also skipping my night class because they have us do calculus problems in groups and I just can't deal with other people right now. My anxiety has been so bad I've even been avoiding my roommates and I get anxious about contacting clients.

I'm falling apart.
>>
Ernest Dripperstock - Tue, 28 Aug 2018 19:39:08 EST lXjUaJuo No.526412 Reply
>>526406
Speaking from my own experience of anxiety you should try to stop avoiding things and people as it's just gonna make you feel worse about yourself in the long run which will just make you more anxious and ever more prone to avoidance. Personally I've found anxiety to be something like quicksand; the more you struggle to not be anxious the further you'll sink into it.
>>
' God !!Bwteoy2D - Thu, 30 Aug 2018 15:12:37 EST 1t+J+EG9 No.526449 Reply
>>526406
As the other guy said ^^^ it's a paradoxical thing. I'd suggest pretending or actually believing that the anxiety is actually something natural and the way that things are supposed to be, see what happens.
>>
' God !!vVWR8L52 - Fri, 31 Aug 2018 00:51:06 EST 1t+J+EG9 No.526457 Reply
>>526454
This asshole has experienced going from extreme social anxiety to being more at ease in social situations than majority normal of folks. Not only have i had it to a more extreme extent than most people who think they had it, but I am also an extremely rare case where I was able to completely turn it around and use to my advantage.

I mean take it with a grain of salt just consider the possibility that the advice is coming from a more grounded place than you are likely to get at least on this forum.
>>
Samuel Bardwater - Fri, 31 Aug 2018 07:04:39 EST USUZpST+ No.526460 Reply
>>526457
>I mean take it with a grain of salt just consider the possibility that the advice is coming from a more grounded place than you are likely to get at least on this forum.
yeah sane people love to brag about how sane they are
>>
' God !!Bwteoy2D - Fri, 31 Aug 2018 07:32:42 EST 1t+J+EG9 No.526461 Reply
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>>526460
Said out of compassion and accuracy of assessment.
>>
' God !!Bwteoy2D - Fri, 31 Aug 2018 07:39:07 EST 1t+J+EG9 No.526462 Reply
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>>526460
I mean many people here might be giving advice on how to travel the east africa, but if someone has already done it to a large extent it makes sense to say: hey guys your opinion may be better than mine, but here I am someone who has already done what you are talking about and here's my insight into it. I said it, so that closer attention would payed to the message.

Point is: I've walked the walk, feel free to learn.

Also feel free to ask questions about the message or try it out and report to me with the results, cause only trying it has the potential to change anything vs contemplating and thinking about it.
>>
Emma Drirryridge - Sun, 02 Sep 2018 19:05:46 EST WWZfJCYo No.526501 Reply
>>526500
seriously pretentious
>>
Esther Pemmermark - Mon, 03 Sep 2018 11:13:03 EST USUZpST+ No.526512 Reply
>>526510
no you really are
>>
Eugene Bollygold - Mon, 03 Sep 2018 20:03:50 EST ux+4Rp+2 No.526529 Reply
>>526514

What's wrong with that cat?
>>
Graham Blorrychet - Thu, 06 Sep 2018 22:02:21 EST rQyG9XI5 No.526582 Reply
>delete facebook
>nobody attempts to contact me through other means (twitter, texting, calling, email, skype, mail, in-person, etc)
welp, guess they weren't my real friends after all
>>
William Murdfuck - Fri, 07 Sep 2018 09:47:59 EST USUZpST+ No.526585 Reply
>>526582
>deletes facebook
>doesn't attempt to contact anyone through other means
welp, guess you weren't their real friend after all
>>
Frederick Saggletedge - Fri, 07 Sep 2018 11:09:11 EST i/X49HfF No.526586 Reply
>>526585
I used to, but then I moved a few hundred miles away, so my irl friends turned into internet friends, but it's not the same as online-only friends who you never met in person before. It also gets tiring always being the person to reach out to other people first.
>>
William Murdfuck - Fri, 07 Sep 2018 11:45:25 EST USUZpST+ No.526588 Reply
>>526586
>It also gets tiring always being the person to reach out to other people
they probably feel the same way. you've introduced an extra hoop for them to jump through in order to speak to you, you shouldn't be surprised if they don't so much.
that said, yeah in a lot of cases if they always suck at responding then find some people who don't. Or just get used to only being in touch with friends from time to time. People used to live like that. You think our grandparent's generation got upset if they didn't get to speak to their entire social circle every day? Or just had a different idea of what a friend is?
>>
Jack Murdforth - Fri, 14 Sep 2018 17:52:20 EST Pwq0Fy/H No.526678 Reply
>>518069
Going to chill on IRC for awhile if anyone needs an ear.
>>
Jack Murdforth - Fri, 14 Sep 2018 18:06:26 EST Pwq0Fy/H No.526679 Reply
>>526678
Yea never mind. Don't know what I did but try to converse on #420chan and without any warning i get banned?

<Spardot> GET THE FUCK OUT YOU MOTHERFUCKING RETARD.

Great community
>>
Albert Drubberpun - Fri, 21 Sep 2018 04:40:21 EST KF3yGmDF No.526747 Reply
>>526679


you gotta fight for your right back in, i had to do a dance and send it to them it worked tho
>>
Phyllis Sozzlestod - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 21:04:54 EST dVp8iHEG No.526777 Reply
>>526747
Nah he should just evade and post pictures of his scrotum in retaliation
>>
Beatrice Hengermire - Mon, 15 Oct 2018 23:30:30 EST fMWa6u7G No.527196 Reply
>>527056

Fuck. Thanks for the good idea, I should've used that to get unbanned before. Oh well, next time.
>>
Charlotte Gottinglock - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 08:06:54 EST wVwbY1G3 No.527767 Reply
>>527765
Earnest suggestion here. If you don't want to play it this way then my only answer is "any one except this"
>Look at a bunch of communities
>lurk the promising ones and get a feel
>find the one or more which you like as is and don't need to be "more 4crap like"
>lurk and understand them
>join them fully

Or if none satisfy, found your own or find a bunch of like minded people who will. Don't try and find the next best thing and turn it into 4crap. If you're not there, then it obviously wasn't perfect so why try to bring that somewhere else?
>>
George Duckridge - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 18:08:40 EST USUZpST+ No.527773 Reply
>>527772
She didn't say you were. You're clearly angry and retarded.
>>
Fuck the Fat Ass Drunk Driver - Wed, 28 Nov 2018 17:18:19 EST AmQEdZgV No.527924 Reply
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So I'm driving down the street when this fat ass drunk driver almost hits me he then proceeds to roll down his window and yell at my children I hope the fat ass has a heart attack.
>>
Fuck Honeyforth - Wed, 05 Dec 2018 12:31:23 EST Pwq0Fy/H No.528004 Reply
>>527924
love how admins delete everything everything else but this
love enthusiasmdot
>>
Frederick Wonkinstock - Wed, 12 Dec 2018 23:15:00 EST 35DhZFiY No.528121 Reply
do tinder dates every really work out?
>>
Martha Buzzdale - Thu, 13 Dec 2018 10:02:00 EST /XvieVYl No.528131 Reply
>>528121
ive been together with my tinder date for 3 years. wife material, although at the time she was a hoe, but since we're together she's stopped her hoe ways, and seems happy to me.
thing is, everyone is a thot there, but some thots are just normal women with daddy issues.
>>
Edwin Forrydun - Sun, 24 Feb 2019 03:43:21 EST 3r2gcFW3 No.528191 Reply
>>528131
you cant turn a hoe into a housewife though. those hoe tendencies will resurface the second she loses any sense of security in ur relationship.

im not even trying to troll though, people dont change they just act. just sleep with one eye open is all I'm saying.
>>
Basil Fuffingforth - Sun, 24 Feb 2019 08:30:58 EST ffVpGLbu No.528196 Reply
>>528191
People can't be sorted neatly into two camps. If a "housewife" can actually be a "hoe" then can not a "hoe" be simply a "housewife" who is out their element and going through a rough patch. I mean some women might be utter hoes but what about the ones who are just being a bit of a hoe? What if they're actually in a rough patch and things are fucked up but actually the moment they're not in a toxic relationship and have a scrap of mental health (or maybe even just the experience they just got) they realise they aren't about that life and don't go back.

I do not entirely share your view on this and have just adopted it so I can use terms and a frame of reference you seem to be comfortable with

I'm actually a believer that we do learn lessons. While the core us is solid some of the basic assumptions we make many of our decisions based on can change quite significantly.
>>
Lillian Drirringfield - Sun, 24 Feb 2019 22:09:26 EST lwA017Av No.528205 Reply
>>528191
That's like saying that once you're a neet virgin, you can never be in a fulfilling relationship or stop being an utter loser. Bullshit in other words. People grow and change. It's easier for you to live in with your cynical world view because it protects you from putting yourself out there.
>>
Frederick Bundock - Mon, 25 Feb 2019 16:45:12 EST kK8ephfW No.528207 Reply
>>528205
a woman who's slutted around a lot will always know that's an option and may at any point find that preferable to being your housewife, and if you were ever a NEET virgin the odds that you won't always be practically hopeless with women are pretty small even if in the future you do make enough money to get laid somehow
>>
Henry Blushway - Mon, 25 Feb 2019 16:56:34 EST XlaE7k5x No.528208 Reply
>>528207
Why are people talking about having a housewife anyway? Fuck that, she can work.

Any woman or man can go fuck someone else. It is possible for anyone.

A woman who has been there done that might care less about giving up sex with randoms than your hyperthetical chaste sexmaid. Probably. The chaste ones are still horny. I mean you know that you little pest.

Also its pretty funny how you think you need to have money to get laid because plenty of us are deadbeats that still do alright.
>>
Albert Coblingway - Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:04:45 EST USUZpST+ No.528237 Reply
>>528207
>a woman who's slutted around a lot will always know that's an option
Everyone knows that's an option. Not having done something doesn't mean you don't know that you could. What stupid logic. Someone who's "slutted around a lot" will know that it's harder now they're older, will not be curious what it's like to try since they know, and will know it's unfulfilling which is presumably why they stopped doing it.
Or not because people are people and everyone does things differently but it's dumb to make a sweeping generalization like that.
Fuck you and your incel mindset anyway.
>>
Ebenezer Cricklehare - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 02:29:34 EST Lny7/LNo No.528427 Reply
>>528415
Well hey, since we're venting about nerds: I try to give some personal advice to new LARPers. Whiny harpy interrupts me and starts ranting about how that's totally not how SHE roleplays and how there's more than one type of LARP yadayadayada.

Bitch I'm trying to help people enjoy their first time in an outdoors hobby, fuck off with your vampire storytelling bullshit. Nerds, man. Fucking nerds.
>>
Lillian Hullerson - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 05:39:19 EST 6LKG4JTv No.528430 Reply
>>528429
Nope, ‘Vampire the Msaquerade’ which is basically dramatic vampire politics with a dash of pretense.

When I called her out on it she just did that whole passive aggressive thing people love to do, tells me enough about that community as a whole.
>>
Hedda Sidgekedge - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 07:04:57 EST ffVpGLbu No.528432 Reply
>>528430
There's a larp thread on /tg/ and by larp it's a mix of
>people talking about armour and fighting styles
>people wondering about larp
>people who have actually larped: only horror stories and warnings

nb tho
>>
Lillian Hullerson - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 10:47:55 EST 6LKG4JTv No.528433 Reply
>>528432
Hahaha I think one or two of those horror stories are mine. I really had to vent.
>>
Awe' !!Bwteoy2D - Sat, 30 Mar 2019 15:25:36 EST 5Bls3hzp No.528572 Reply
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>>528571
Crawled right up to the heart and just decided to sit there.
>>
Eliza Hurringhall - Thu, 04 Apr 2019 10:20:55 EST JCATCBbz No.528636 Reply
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I just want to precede this by saying hang tough, you're not alone in feeling miserable.

You guys know how when you make a plan, you foresee the pitfalls? Like, if I'm trying to build a bookshelf I'm fully aware and endorsing the possibility that I could hammer a thumb. Well I just found out I smashed the fucking shit out of my ONLY proverbial thumb. I'm unemployed and donate plasma regularly for supplemental income. Well I've been donating plasma successfully for a few months and got complacent I suppose. They tell you to eat a meal within three hours prior to donating. That's a rule I have been successfully wiggling around, until this morning. Last time I was doing a donation they told me right before they stuck me that they're gonna take samples of my blood for testing. That would not have been a problem had I eaten well prior to that donation, but I was depleted. So they surprise me with a very IRREGULAR TEST at the last second. I didn't tell them what I thought of that, though I definitely should have. Fast forward to this morning, they don't even screen me but make me take a $30 Lyft back and forth just so they can tell me that they need ANOTHER FUCKING APPOINTMENT so I can give a blood sample for overt testing. So after a week from whenever I give the sample (maybe today), they'll presumedly let me keep donating. My very thin financial plan was fucking crumpled by this chicanery. Now my phone bill "promise to pay" agreement will certainly not be paid, as a result I'm continuing to fucking ruin my mother's credit score. I wish I had had enough money to file an assumption of liability for $452 a year or so ago, I guess now I'll settle for wanting to end it all.

Ugh dudes and dudettes. I'm in a scary fucking place right now. I can deal and that's life but I'm so fuckin' mad! I haven't been legitimately angry like this in a tremendous time. I guess it makes me mad because I'm helpless now. At least I had a plan and it was going swimmingly but making these marginal sums of money was the only tool I had left. Now the rhythm is fucked and I hate anyone with a face. Much love though, I'm suffering too.
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Hamilton Gandlesedge - Sat, 06 Apr 2019 10:38:56 EST 8JMT0wmI No.528665 Reply
>>528636
>having to literally sell your lifeblood to survive
I feel for you man.
>>
Clara Semmerman - Wed, 10 Apr 2019 05:35:00 EST RLwJnyZd No.528708 Reply
>>518069
I think I just got diagnosed with Bipolar II. Man, that shit sucks, I really hoped that by just getting my self-esteem in order, went to theraphy and fixed up my life, I'd just be.. I don't know, eternally normal and happy-like.


My therapist still has to go through the last tests I did, so who knows, but she (and my previous psychiatrist) seemed pretty certain that it be like that. It really makes sense for me too I guess, it really does explain a lot, but I just felt like living a normal life is gonna be impossible now, and that I just have to accept deep pits of depression.

I guess I should be glad that I'm getting somewhere at least, and that it could be worse. I could be schizo or blind, I could be drowning or being mistakenly ousted as a pedo in the national press.

Just how it is, I guess.
>>
Nell Chibblewater - Wed, 10 Apr 2019 12:29:48 EST Lny7/LNo No.528714 Reply
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>>528708
Oh god, all too familiar a pain to me. I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and just revealing that is pretty much a death sentence for any social interaction. Hell, I'm pretty sure someone who's experienced with BPD people will read this and immediately think I'm an unforgivable asshole. And I guess I am? I'm trying not to be. Sometimes.

But like you said, at least I'm not a politician with a scandal or y'know...dead.
>>
Hedda Crunderdat - Thu, 11 Apr 2019 15:31:51 EST UZ9BzlLq No.528728 Reply
>>528714
Don't tell anyone.

Get therapy because CBT can help you control it so that you're imperfect in your own way like everyone else rather than prone to well... I've experienced plenty of it. I think most of them were ones who did everything they could to numb the bad feels except actually confront they had an issue. Many lives were ruined but it wasn't really the BPD it was just them being shitheels about their problems.

Most of us have some sort of problems and we keep it under wraps pretty well, if you can do the same you'll rarely fuck up and the fuck ups will minor and you'll be quicker to fix them and control your life. All these things are also variable. Become someone who is trying not to be all the time, but just sometimes slips a bit.

Or don't. But then you deserve the scorn.
>>
Hannah Sellernurk - Thu, 11 Apr 2019 15:50:38 EST aKLE6eU1 No.528730 Reply
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>>528728
Eeeh, yes and no.

Saying don't tell anyone implies a certain level of shame or fear, which isn't good. Same time though you need to be aware of the fact that people have these preconceptions and not bandy that information around. Like unless you've been dating someone for a couple weeks and its becoming a long term thing, people just don't need to know. If you're taking some kind of medical leave because you're in a real bad place, you don't need to tell your boss its because of BPD. If you act like an asshole to somebody you can apologize without saying you have BPD. Sadly mental illness is still wicked misunderstood and people will have some bad kneejerk reactions.

My man, remember where you are. Not to even mention the fact that you're on /qq/, this joint is replete with junkies of one stripe or another, most of us know what its like to have something affect you so strongly that it changes how you behave. There's a difference between being a cunt and acting like one. As long as you're trying to be the best version of you that you can be you'll never be "an unforgivable asshole", you'll just be behaving like one.
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Priscilla Brommerdock - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 15:09:36 EST Lny7/LNo No.528862 Reply
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>>528728
>>528730
>Even the replies are like a coin flip
Ha ha, fuuuuck. No wonder I was magically attracted to cannabis, everyone seems to agree I'm less of a cunt when I'm high. Might be the whole 'not freaking out about the burden of mere existence' I had when I was younger (and sober).
>>
Edward Danderstedge - Fri, 19 Apr 2019 04:44:09 EST UZ9BzlLq No.528877 Reply
>>528862
I feel I should say I agree with Hannah while standing by my post, what they say adds nuance my post lacked. I've seen the worst of humanity and it had borderline. However honestly anyone who has a personal issue that results in them hurting others regularly and indulges it rather than seeking treatment when they know better is a bad person. That's not a unique borderline thing.

A lot of people say medicating borderline doesn't work. It didn't work for the people I know though they probably felt better about themselves. They also avoided direct diagnosis because they gamed the system, answered their questionnaires in a way they knew matched the diagnosis they wanted for the drugs they wanted (there is definitely a subset of psych graduates who study that subject to better understand their problems, it's actually a really bad idea because they study human nature and can't process the truth in a healthy balanced way). Everyone has flaws a lot of us had trouble with existence as teenagers, do you run or do you fight it? And no, not everyone gets it right straight away. What you do going forward is always what counts most.
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Wesley Bludgecocke - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 19:42:46 EST iaUvY3Io No.528905 Reply
>>528862
Yeah, I agree with Edward insofar as telling people is generally something you want to avoid, I just wanted to make sure you weren't internalizing that as there being something 'wrong' with you.

People are great at internalizing things we're told or tell ourselves repeatedly. Thinking "I shouldn't tell people frivolously because they might get the wrong idea about me" is worlds apart from "I can't tell anyone because then they'll know I'm an irredeemable fuckup and total basket case"

BDP is a bitch. Its not an easy thing to live with and while you need to hold yourself accountable so you can be the best 'you' you can be and actually live, you also need to be understanding with yourself. You didn't choose this, you're trying to be a good person, and even though your illness might make you act like a total fag on occasion that isn't who you are. You can be the bad guy in a situation without being a bad guy as a person.

Get help, do your best to be better, and be patient with yourself. Recovery is a fucked up crooked ass road and sometimes you might find yourself lower than where you started but that doesn't mean you're not making progress.

You will become what you deserve, whether that's a good thing or not is up to you. Keep your stick on the ice, we all out here rooting for you. And remember; if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.[\spoiler]
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Barnaby Fallylire - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 13:31:27 EST Lny7/LNo No.528920 Reply
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>>528905
>You can be the bad guy in a situation without being a bad guy as a person.
Thanks, Zangief. But I get what you're talking about, no one can be patient & happy with others 24/7. And some people really are just scum who deserve a good chastising.

I tried to get help for it, actually. Therapist and all. Let's just say it wasn't really a success. The joke is, I think I'm doing better on a lot of parts of life than other people. Not to mention the years of fucked up shit made me more resistant to things I see other people struggle HARD with.
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David Gammerstere - Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:42:25 EST jDv+ota+ No.528924 Reply
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>>528920
hey man when zangief is right, zangief is right
>>
Samuel Packlenure - Wed, 01 May 2019 00:48:15 EST JCATCBbz No.529143 Reply
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>>518069
FUCKING FUCK IT'S ALL FUCKED AND I'M THE FUCKER FUCKING IT
For fuck's sake. Fuck it right in the bum. Precum substitution for poop offered at discount prices, just for the lucky fuckers. Orbiting planet fuckus in a fuckmarine fuckship, guzzling fucka-cola with fuckslaw at the barbefuck for a fucking side. Moments like these really make me feel like a fuckless fuckwit. OK I think it's out of my system I'm good now. Pardon the fuckery.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Nicholas Clettingfig - Sun, 05 May 2019 09:26:50 EST JCATCBbz No.529216 Reply
It can be tough, you know? When you're passed out on the living room floor I don't shout across the house or fucking stomp around; yet when you know I'm trying to sleep you default to yelling across the hallways and running around. What's up with that? I can't tell you or even suggest to you that you shut the fuck up because you're my caregiver. It's like we have toilet paper walls and I'm an hour more of this from buying some sanity ear plugs or a handgun .

Do I just say hey the walls are micrometer thin? Do I ask for basic reciprocity? Do I fucking explode in a few months when I finally can't take it and blow it way out of proportion? How do I move into a quiet place? I have the potential to make more than enough money. I need serenity. I think I need rural residence. Where's that Xanax driving probation fag? Wanna trade houses? Either way I'm too sober for this; where's that fucking cough syrup...
User is currently banned from all boards
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Doris Diggleluck - Sun, 12 May 2019 08:40:00 EST hA4L2t+D No.529328 Reply
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I’m early in sobriety. Like 65 days.

I’m bipolar and own several guns. I have no plans to give them up, I will buy several more probably.

I just lost the woman I love due to me being manipulative and acting crazy. She was and still is my everything.

At this point every day I don’t shoot myself in the head is a victory. Thank Odin for the 12 steps. Thank the pharmaceutical industrial complex that medication exists.

It hurts so bad. I am literally crying while on the toilet at work posting on a drug chan on mother’s day.
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Hugh Gebberdidge - Sun, 12 May 2019 16:49:03 EST NAsLuOoG No.529342 Reply
>>529328
This is what's become of the American male. No offense, please don't shoot anybody, and I hope things get better, but I just had to say something to stamp this on my mind. A small island nation of Marcy D'arcy looking dykes could hand us our ass in a full scale war right now.
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Doris Diggleluck - Sun, 12 May 2019 18:50:52 EST hA4L2t+D No.529343 Reply
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>>529342
I am glad my pain allows you to get on your soapbox.

>please don’t shoot anyone

Why would I ever shoot anyone? Fuck your “mentally ill people shoot people” MSNBC meme. I’m not a 4channer.

People only give a shit about mental health when guns are involved.
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DrWorm !Jq.HCcHctg - Mon, 13 May 2019 01:41:16 EST tnOHGU5j No.529348 Reply
>>529343
>I’m not a the futurener
I dunno, the pic from your previous post would say otherwise
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Fuck Chinkinmudge - Mon, 13 May 2019 11:28:31 EST JCATCBbz No.529350 Reply
>>529343
Perhaps not but you are a giant faggot
User is currently banned from all boards
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Samuel Sennerridge - Mon, 13 May 2019 17:30:07 EST hA4L2t+D No.529355 Reply
>>529348
it is a pic that makes fun of /pol/ you dense modtard.
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Reuben Pagglebury - Wed, 22 May 2019 12:48:14 EST JCATCBbz No.529490 Reply
>>518069
Hmm. I'm trying to rest. You're literally yelling at someone three feet away from you. Please shut the fuck up. Please be considerate of me. No? Ugh. I don't understand why you're so unnecessarily loud! He can hear you, you guys can have your conversation without disturbing me. Oh well I guess.
>Fuck loud
User is currently banned from all boards
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Reuben Blythewater - Wed, 22 May 2019 14:26:07 EST 138dZzdZ No.529493 Reply
why didn't you text me back i was worried
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Edwin Blatherforth - Fri, 24 May 2019 13:29:51 EST Lny7/LNo No.529521 Reply
>>529493
Some people are just lazy or forgetful, not intentionally spiteful. It's easy to assume the worst, that's the tricky part.

On an unrelated note, I've gotten uncomfortably comfortable with how often I get cuts and bruises with my shit job. Self-harmers would be envious. I think I might be developing a masochistic streak as well.
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David Hushman - Sun, 26 May 2019 03:52:15 EST JCATCBbz No.529561 Reply
>>518069
There was no hope for sleep. That is, no prayer of rest. Not with these Charmin walls and the hang around Saturday night crowd coming back to the hub at 1 in the morning. Is my mistake having to work tomorrow morning? Not drinking enough to pass out before the cacophony arrived? Maybe it's my fault for thinking my need for tranquility to fall asleep comes before your need to express your obnoxious ass. Hey maybe I'm just a considerate person. I'm respectful. If it's after midnight and I'm in your house I'm not going to be a loud drunken fuckwit. The real question is what do I do now? It's clear that I'm going to feel like shit tomorrow morning so what I do now I suppose is irrelevant. I could be a giant asshole and proclaim my truth to those around me. Hah. That would never happen. I feel too guilty about being a burden to ever assert my needs. So yeah I'm a doormat. That's not even the worst part though. The most painful part about it is how you yourself are complicit in harming me in this way. Indeed; you. The one who's supposed to be watching out for me. But it's the youngest fella vs 4 inebriated homeowners; the odds aren't hard to pick. Is being a good sport giving me that much self esteem? Nah, not really. This is just another dash of salt in the big vat of emotional stew I've been brewing... So I resign to bitch about it here instead of addressing it head on. Craven? Maybe. Considerate? I sure hope so. What a world! There are kids starving, walking miles and marathons just to have potable drinking water, dodging tigers and human trafficking drug lords desperately trying to keep their doomed family alive. Nope my problem is not being respected. Or is it? Maybe my problem is not loving myself. At least not truly. I've been trying to kill myself ever since I was 19. If I loved myself I suppose I wouldn't be constantly poisoning myself. If I truly loved myself I wouldn't lie to everyone. If I really gave a fuck about me anymore I wouldn't be here. Geeze, what a bummer. I really got myself down thinking about this to be honest. There's still a pilot light on though; I can taste the redemption at the end of these trials. The day when I'm completely alone and happy - the way I want to be. Good wiggles y'all.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Doris Nullysork - Wed, 29 May 2019 14:58:45 EST +s+a5IEh No.529643 Reply
>>529561
>Charmin walls
You've got some wit at least.

You should start thinking about a medium term plan to change your living situation. You have enough braincells to rub together that you shouldn't be doomed to this existence forever.
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Hugh Blythewell - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 01:25:46 EST Lny7/LNo No.529753 Reply
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It's not about the lack of a destination, but the things we lose on the way there.

I want things back, damn it.
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Edward Blytheway - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 02:16:39 EST lcs0FVJ4 No.529754 Reply
>>518069
anyone here? I tried and failed to kill myself today, so now i'm sitting here next to my sleeping husband wishing I had planned for a backup but I'm too big of a pussy to do it again. Back to planning. I am selfish and dramatic and sucker of all love, life, and attention.
I still let my childhood bullshit tear me down and break me into manic fits when I feel like this. I'll build up the courage to do something about it but I chicken out or like the last time I was found out. I fucking hate myself because i can't motivate to do one or the other just perpetual pain and fuck up. Everyone i know just keeps telling me to go to a shrink but no one understands how fucking hard it is to find one under the insurance or that isn't empty/ shallow where i live. See I'm full of excuses and bullshit ... i'm pretty good at hiding this stuff until something big happens like someone dying.
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Matilda Grimhood - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 12:17:14 EST +s+a5IEh No.529757 Reply
>>529756
You're a ticking timebomb. You might have to talk to your husband about saving some money for a decent shrink. He'd rather scrimp and save a little bit than let you suffer. Your happiness brings him happiness and your misery or avoidable death will do the opposite. You know it he knows it.
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Hugh Blythewell - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 13:47:44 EST Lny7/LNo No.529760 Reply
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>>529754
Not sure where you live, but last time I went to my house doctor, told him about my shit and he both prescribed me freaking anti-depressants (which I didn't take, glad too in retrospect) but also recommended me to a therapist which made it count for insurance purposes.

Ironically that house doctor died from lung cancer late last year, I stopped seeing the therapist after one session and the thing keeping me going positively through life are decriminalized soft drugs. Funny world, this. Still, check if your house doctor can help you. Weed and shrooms are not for everyone.
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Alice Fullerfield - Sun, 23 Jun 2019 23:09:13 EST dSPy0yiU No.529967 Reply
>>529760
You're sort of a jerk when you prey on other fragile people's uncertainty about medication. Yeah, I'm probably accusing you of more than you're actually guilty of, but what good does it do to add fear of medications to someone you know nothing about? I'm pretty sensitive about this having known people who really should be on medication, but aren't and they are ruining their lives and the lives of everyone around them.
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Thomas Chirrylock - Mon, 24 Jun 2019 05:08:29 EST 8DXKLi1o No.529976 Reply
>>529967
there is no universal truth. what might be true for you (anti-depressants are good for me) might not be for him (anti-depressants are bad for me).
don't be so quick to accuse someone of evil intentions. you don't know what he's been through, and visa versa. he might have had a bad experience with prescription drugs himself, or know someone who has.

One of my family members is right now suffering from severe delayed physical side effects because in her youth doctors forced her into a "treatment" by carelessly and liberally applying heavy medication for a minor ailment. I've seen another family member go through a personality change from anti-epileptic drugs.
These experiences have made me very, very wary of medication and drugs. Especially those that concern something as invaluable and complex as the human brain. I'll still take medication, but only when it's absolutely necessary.
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Alice Trotforth - Wed, 26 Jun 2019 15:29:34 EST Lny7/LNo No.530026 Reply
>>529967
Please do note I spoilered it on purpose and also said
>Still, check if your house doctor can help you. Weed and shrooms are not for everyone.
My house doctor was a fucking quack, that's the joke. Dude's career was nothing but prescribing pharmaceutical crap to elderly people, he nearly got ME fucking killed when I was 12 by misdiagnosing a burst appendix for god's sake. I'm GLAD the dude's fucking dead from cancer, it's pure karma at this point. So fuck him, fuck you and fuck every pharma-monkey pretending to be a legit doctor.
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Eliza Honeyridge - Thu, 27 Jun 2019 13:55:37 EST 3rsqXzWo No.530040 Reply
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>>530026
>So fuck him, fuck you and fuck every pharma-monkey pretending to be a legit doctor.
amen
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Hannah Pittspear - Thu, 27 Jun 2019 17:53:43 EST 8DXKLi1o No.530043 Reply
>>530040
what the fuck is going on with her eyes?
I'm no animé expert, but even I can tell there's something wrong with her anatomy
>>
Polly Winnerson - Sun, 30 Jun 2019 23:30:23 EST dSPy0yiU No.530117 Reply
Fuck you for what? Being upset that i know people and my gf knows people in her own family that refuse to even try medication? Oh so it's just some fluke that she was bipolar and horribly depressed and so are her sisters and yet when she got on meds she enrolled in university, has a 4.0 gpa, and has a job for the first time in her life. I pity people like you. I fucking pity her sister's and their kids. She suggested meds because they have the same mental illness as her but go untreated. Tell me to go fuck myself, but i thank God that i met someone as strong as her and who deals with these similar bullshit attitudes. I'm sorry your meds didn't work for you and I'm sorry that you didn't work for your meds. Her sisters say fuck you, but it's usually to the cops as they're getting arrested for a manic episode.
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Sophie Pennerkuck - Mon, 01 Jul 2019 13:40:33 EST Lny7/LNo No.530129 Reply
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>>530116
>>530117
Don't come crying to me when your gf's meds stop working and she tosses herself off a bridge or just wrecks your entire relationship by cheating on you in an attempt to find that little bit of joy again, she had to get it through pharmaceuticals because she obviously couldn't ever get it from you. You're in love with a ticking time bomb, and when she explodes in your face it's going to be a glorious disaster.

Can't wait to see your thread pop up in /qq/!
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Sophie Sirringfet - Mon, 01 Jul 2019 14:01:18 EST g/wdAkBE No.530130 Reply
>>530129
I won't because you'll probably be locked in a padded cell after succumbing to one too many crisis events
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Lydia Blinningshit - Mon, 01 Jul 2019 19:51:31 EST 3A/9rSkO No.530143 Reply
>>530129
Fun to see the mentally ill shitting on the mentally ill because they've got nothing better to do in their miserable lot in life. Grow up and take your pills.
>>
Jack Snodwell - Mon, 01 Jul 2019 20:11:28 EST uZExeyVJ No.530146 Reply
>>530143
>Fun to see the mentally ill shitting on the mentally ill because they've got nothing better to do in their miserable lot in life.
this is literally the norm for imageboards and the people use them, why are you surprised at this? NB
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Albert Pockfoot - Tue, 02 Jul 2019 14:00:22 EST Lny7/LNo No.530175 Reply
>>530143
>Projecting this hard
The only one who needs a pill is you, a cyanide one to be sure.
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Eliza Fommerfuck - Tue, 16 Jul 2019 22:55:18 EST JCATCBbz No.530459 Reply
>>530216
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma ma maa ma maa....Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma ma maa ma maa!
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma ma maa ma maa.. MAN RAY
User is currently banned from all boards
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Isabella Blackville - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 18:15:31 EST d9sPFq3k No.530731 Reply
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>>530459
Chick'a boom!
chocolate mama
get that broom
and make a wroom!

Sound
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Albert Grandwell - Fri, 09 Aug 2019 03:17:49 EST rvbW/7x/ No.530902 Reply
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>Be close to my grandfather
>mourn his death for years
>find out he used to burn my uncle with an iron rod
>family didn't tell me cause they were worried they were gonna hurt my feelings

My whole life has been a lie.
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Clara Clirringput - Sat, 10 Aug 2019 06:46:44 EST qTml9FbR No.530929 Reply
>>530902

Isn't it funny the things your family hides from you? Like the things I learned about my family like I never knew I would have had an uncle but my dad's brother got murdered by his friends when they were teenagers, and my dad's real dad who I never met is a complete bastard who won't physically acknowledge his own children's existence, and my aunt used to get beat by her ex husband, and my parents met in a heroin den when they were in their early twenties.

Never knew any of that shit for the first 25 years of my life, and never would have guess any of it based on how my family acts, but it all makes sense looking back.
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Ernest Fanfoot - Sun, 11 Aug 2019 07:55:12 EST USUZpST+ No.530951 Reply
>>530929
I don't see why any of that's an odd thing to hide from your young children
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Beatrice Brookhall - Mon, 12 Aug 2019 10:15:46 EST hiKxQg3e No.530987 Reply
>>530951
People like to hide this kind of bullshit but in fact, hiding it is really harmful. You just have to introduce them to it at the appropriate age and not lie to them before that, just defer.
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Nathaniel Gemmlecocke - Mon, 12 Aug 2019 14:55:23 EST FfKOgUEy No.530990 Reply
>>530987
I sort of agree with both of you. I mean it is harmful but people say Santa is real. Which isn't the same. Santa's non existence isn't near as fucked up.

But yeah you can gradually introduce that fact or something. The hard part is knowing the appropriate age though isn't it? There's no ideal age for anything. Most of the time it's better to defer a little bit too long than jump the gun.
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Nathaniel Fudgewater - Wed, 14 Aug 2019 16:19:42 EST 8nEEdvzV No.531021 Reply
>>530990
My dad was old as fuck so I wondered once in a while but I honestly have seen uglier people get laid than even my fatass parents so he's probably it.
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Nathaniel Fudgewater - Wed, 14 Aug 2019 16:51:18 EST 8nEEdvzV No.531022 Reply
>>530990
Not sure maybe I misunderstood so here's this..

I'd never pretend to a child that God existed because I think that's cruel, same with the afterlife, and the same with the death of family members or others. I think lying to kids about death just creates some kind of cruel, slow torture. They don't understand it immediately anyway.
>>
Fanny Choffingstat - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 05:24:28 EST qTml9FbR No.531093 Reply
>>530951

>Young child

They hid that shit from me until I was almost thirty. I'm the youngest child of three, and as far as I know my older brother and sister still don't know any of what my parents have told me about their tumultuous past.

They could have told me this stuff when I was a teenager. It's a mistake rying to hide people from the bad parts of life instead of informing them properly. I would have likely avoided making several bad choices when I was younger if I had known my dad wasn't just talking out of his ass. I might have respected his opinion more if I knew he had actually experienced certain things and knew what he was talking about. There was no reference with which to respect his opinion.
>>
Polly Trotstone - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 04:37:42 EST hiKxQg3e No.531149 Reply
>>531093
That's some Shakespearean-drama tier shit man. Maybe you could fictionalize it and novelize it to get it out, it's unusual enough that people might want to read it.
>>
Frederick Babblelock - Sun, 25 Aug 2019 05:50:25 EST iXHv96eE No.531286 Reply
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>When it feels like you've made all the wrong decisions in life
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Fanny Currybodging - Thu, 05 Sep 2019 21:52:37 EST dSPy0yiU No.531548 Reply
im sorry im so sorry i understand now, i need to stop being sorry, im sorry
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Hamilton Smallson - Thu, 12 Sep 2019 11:52:26 EST yU2gM7RL No.531669 Reply
I don't believe anyone deserves an apology.
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Fucking Deffingbidging - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:14:01 EST qkOc6AWo No.531871 Reply
This is a board.
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Basil Gecklefuck - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 22:10:07 EST LR8CNHo+ No.531902 Reply
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I'm joining when I get home
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Jenny Tillinghall - Tue, 01 Oct 2019 21:08:53 EST b2U4Jslk No.531937 Reply
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You guys I don't know what to do with my life pls halp
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Jenny Tillinghall - Tue, 01 Oct 2019 21:12:32 EST b2U4Jslk No.531940 Reply
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>>531938
No it's mine and I want to keep it I just can't figure out how to do something cool with it
>>
George Claycocke - Mon, 07 Oct 2019 17:20:42 EST T+17NiZt No.532027 Reply
>>531950
I just incorporate it with my daily routine.

Wake up, shit, shower, shave, look through the peep-hole to see if anyone's on the porch, fix breakfast, make sure I turned off the water valves at the washing machine last night, ok water's off, check the front porch, get my car keys, now it's off to work I go, check the porch, unlock the front door, step outside, shut the door, go back in to get my car keys, open the front door again, lock the door behind me, start the car, forgot my sunglasses, try to take my house key off the keyring so I can go back inside without shutting off the car (pain in the ass, it's really hard to get off the keyring), unlock front door, go inside and lock the door behind me, grab sunglasses, check the porch, go to my room, check my email, stand in the hall, hope I'm not forgetting anything, check the porch, open the door, lock the door behind me, get in car, go to work. No big deal.
>>
Ebenezer Binnerlock - Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:37:48 EST Lq4RrI4Z No.532137 Reply
>>532027
I have an issue with combinations of colours, digits and item disposition. I'll explain more in detail: reading a book, I always put a bookmark on an even page number, calling someone on the phone, I always check if my history contains numbers, stocked in a 'ladder', longer name, then shorter name, etc. texting somebody I always do the same trick, longer message, then shorter message, etc. when cleaning my room, I always put the items in order of color, size, shape, etc.
It's honestly quite daunting to do this much work over simple things
>>
Sidney Dicklehere - Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:45:36 EST eELEII7T No.532138 Reply
>>532137
Just use your free will to override the programming and stop being compulsive
>>
Jack Smalllock - Sat, 19 Oct 2019 09:23:14 EST USUZpST+ No.532161 Reply
>>532137
>reading a book, I always put a bookmark on an even page number
But there's always an odd page number there too. That doesn't make any sense.
>>
Nicholas Chuggleseg - Sun, 20 Oct 2019 08:13:47 EST UC/aR6fj No.532163 Reply
>>532161
If it made sense it wouldn't be a mental disorder. I'm sorry I don't have anything more helpful to add than that. But a lot of people seem to think OCD means being super anal retentive.
>>
Basil Pittville - Sun, 20 Oct 2019 09:05:48 EST USUZpST+ No.532164 Reply
>>532163
No I mean it's impossible, not that it's illogical behavior. Open any book to any page (except the first and last) then check the numbers. One will be odd, the other will be even. There's no place you can put a bookmark on just an even page.
>>
Nicholas Chuggleseg - Sun, 20 Oct 2019 09:59:35 EST UC/aR6fj No.532165 Reply
>>532164
Sort of true. I used to have a bookmark which clipped on to the page so you could choose which page to finish on rather than getting to a point putting the mark in and knowing you're either on the second or first page because that's what you always do. I think it was brass and had some sort of engraving on one side.

Of course what I forgot is how that was probably one of a kind and you're right.
>>
Polly Blocklehock - Mon, 21 Oct 2019 03:13:40 EST ++yiaY3Y No.532168 Reply
>>532165
Sorry to be so late, but what I meant was a page number that ends on an even number, e.g. 248
>>
Polly Blocklehock - Mon, 21 Oct 2019 03:19:09 EST ++yiaY3Y No.532169 Reply
>>532165
It's not that uncommon. When a chapter starts from a new page, e-books, etc.
>>
Walter Bungerfog - Tue, 22 Oct 2019 13:13:16 EST UC/aR6fj No.532177 Reply
>>532169
In a physical book you put a marker in between two pages though, because it opens out and there's 2 pages one will be odd and even. So it marks both. I'm not sure if you're even signifying you started or finished the even page. I mean you know that you're signifying something in relation to the even page, so you just finished or are about to start it, but from the point of view of anyone else you're basically just marking that you are in this 2 page fold. Though I'd assume it's at the top of the page on the right but I've never thought about how people use bookmarks.

That's what he meant. I have never thought so hard about book marks. Or reading. Usually they both just happen sometimes.

Anyway I've not got OCD but with most mental illness managing it is a mix between reducing the symptoms and learning mechanisms to cope with the rest in the way that least negatively affects your life. A mix of therapy, good lifestyle choices and practice and where applicable medication. I wish I could offer more.
>>
Hugh Greenlock - Thu, 07 Nov 2019 03:03:33 EST JCATCBbz No.532309 Reply
>>518069
Hey QQ what's good? Just wanted to check in. I'm not depressed or anything but enjoy responding to your posts; they help me when I feel down. I hope you're all doing all right and if not I hope you're talking about it.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Nigel Buzzham - Sun, 10 Nov 2019 16:00:40 EST qTml9FbR No.532344 Reply
>>532309

Yeah, other people's misery makes my misery feel less potent as well. I'm generally depressed and anxious, but not enough to prevent me from going to work, although work is probably one of my biggest causes of anxiety.

Well, good luck everyone.
>>
Hedda Hegglepadge - Tue, 12 Nov 2019 16:49:42 EST Lny7/LNo No.532357 Reply
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So maybe I've had a nervous crying/laughing breakdown from the stress of my job and a potential burn-out coming up along with the removal of four wisdom teeth next week which will just be a train of dentist bills, painkillers and more.

But hey, at least I'm not depressed.
>>
Oliver Nubbersadge - Tue, 12 Nov 2019 16:56:17 EST U6uJxT0r No.532358 Reply
>>532357
You've got to get some alcohol and weed for immediately after the extraction while you're still in twilight sleep. Drink like maybe 100ml of spirits and smoke your brains out and then get on the discord. What day is the extraction?
>>
Cedric Gankinmick - Wed, 13 Nov 2019 13:36:16 EST Lny7/LNo No.532365 Reply
>>532358
The 20th of this month, but I'm going to try and avoid smoking for a bit after the whole thing to let it all recover in peace. Thanks for the advice, though.
>>
Caroline Hollergold - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 03:25:21 EST JvAYVNv/ No.532375 Reply
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I have a cousin that I absolutely hate with every fiber of my being. She doesn't know, in fact I dont think she even suspects it. So far I've kept it in check but I keep having fantasies about it and I'm a little concerned that if I get pushed hard enough il act on them. Dont want to make a scene especially since I've bottled up my feelings for so long.
We all know hate is corrosive so I want get over it without her knowing my feelings. She's not a bad person, just fucking dumb and has the social tact of a wooden plank. Due to our family circumstances I cant simply avoid her.

What should I do?
>>
Lillian Callerchock - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 05:07:04 EST USUZpST+ No.532376 Reply
>>532375
deal with yourself, if you hate her for being stupid and socially awkward -- neither of which are her fault -- that's you in the wrong.
>>
Caroline Hollergold - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 11:19:54 EST JvAYVNv/ No.532377 Reply
>>532376
Wow thanks a lot. What a wonderful advice. I really should deal with myself, the question is how?
>>
Hugh Crullerville - Thu, 14 Nov 2019 11:24:49 EST ZdyXyUcS No.532378 Reply
>>532377
At a certain point you grow up and realize that you have your own goals and your own life to lead, and that if someone's doing something and you didn't cause it, you can't do anything about it, and it doesn't directly impact your life, then you need to mindfully accept it in your space. That's all there is to it. It takes a lot of energy to come up with reasons to hate someone and when you value time as a resource you stop spending it on shit like this. If you believe that your contribution is influential and valuable, why are you using it to these ends? If you don't believe your contribution is influential and valuable, why are you offering it?
>>
Hugh Cettingworth - Sat, 16 Nov 2019 01:32:46 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532403 Reply
>>532376
What if the word hate has a different personal meaning to him than it does for you? What if he just misspoke? What if he's exaggerating because of his feelings?


>>532378
Pretty sound post, got to say.


>>532377
I'm gonna throw this out there: why don't you love her? I think maybe I am able to empathize with you though. I've gotten angry before too at people for not living up to their potential - for being so much less great than they could be. Be a role model for her. Expose her to the sort of competence you think she's lacking.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Samuel Goodgold - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 06:59:57 EST USUZpST+ No.532487 Reply
>>532403
>What if the word hate has a different personal meaning to him than it does for you?
What if he sees the sky as pink but calls it blue because that's what he was taught?
>What if he just misspoke?
What if anyone just misspoke at any time?
>What if he's exaggerating because of his feelings?
You're saying his feelings might have made him feel that he hates her?
>>
Priscilla Chevingmedge - Fri, 22 Nov 2019 14:34:09 EST mqpN1yO5 No.532507 Reply
>>532487
What if you're a fucking jolly african-american that's not willing to empathize with someone

>You're saying his feelings might have made him feel that he hates her?

Im saying we all exaggerate you dumb fuck, especially those of us with less in-control emotions. people say things they don't mean all the time. it's part of normal expression for many people.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Lydia Bricklekadge - Fri, 22 Nov 2019 16:51:16 EST USUZpST+ No.532509 Reply
>>532507
I can empathize just fine, it's why I don't "hate" my cousins for being socially awkward. Even if he meant something less than hate that's still his fault, not hers.
>>
Barnaby Chevingshaw - Sat, 23 Nov 2019 18:17:29 EST QW+FYcyO No.532517 Reply
I feel a lot of "fake" hate after backing out of doing something for a while. Like a mild bit of aversion, and then if I wait a second it's over. I spent a while not hanging out with anyone and being kind of perfectionist, and now it's helpful to resolve it before i end up automatically responding to stuff
>>
James Fuckingworth - Sun, 24 Nov 2019 05:09:26 EST QW+FYcyO No.532519 Reply
>>5325176
disregard that, I was being an idiot
>>
Martin Winningmat - Mon, 25 Nov 2019 14:23:35 EST Lny7/LNo No.532530 Reply
People that need to work in groups to accomplish something (usually something criminal or at least unsavoury) are the worst pieces of miserable little cumstains ever to be put on this planet. My god, it's not helping that they're all fucking immigrant types with the thickest accents bothering me at my work. Now I have to feel racist for hating them.

Fuck it, not my fault they're all the exact same type of people. Wish I was allowed to carry at work.
>>
Walter Brupperfut - Tue, 26 Nov 2019 01:26:29 EST Lny7/LNo No.532535 Reply
>>532533
Those assholes were older than my little millennial ass but good try.
Gen X is largely ignored and more toxic than boomers tbh
>>
Reuben Bardson - Sat, 30 Nov 2019 03:57:28 EST kDY2hYtD No.532573 Reply
I'm thinking about killing my aunts dog. She left him here at my house last minute, for a silly and made-up sounding reason. She's and old dog, and it wouldn't look too suspicious if she just didn't wake up. She's already pissed and shit everywhere, which makes me wonder what the fuck my aunt feeds her. I believe I'd be doing this dog a favour. My saggy stomach aunt couldn't figure out how to eat like a vegetarian none the less feed her fucking dog right. I'm gonna do it, any suggestions>>518069
>>
Walter Tootshaw - Mon, 02 Dec 2019 22:16:20 EST JCATCBbz No.532620 Reply
>>532573
Start by killing yourself bro. If you can stand cleaning the shit and piss laden suicide scene your family will find.
User is currently banned from all boards
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op - Thu, 05 Dec 2019 19:34:09 EST CdEPoRed No.532655 Reply
>>532573

reuben... the darkness....
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Martin Crirringkurk - Wed, 11 Dec 2019 13:14:30 EST Lny7/LNo No.532733 Reply
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In other, less disturbing news I think I got ghosted by a clown girl. Don't ask, it's less funny than it sounds.
>>
Priscilla Pittfield - Sun, 15 Dec 2019 18:47:39 EST JWWudQ3H No.532811 Reply
Lying on my bed alone in the dead of the night
Torturing myself with thoughts of her
Like a silent breeze of poisonous air, the sorrow comes

All those memories of better times fill my mind
How little I understood back in those days
Now, when all is gone, I see the value of everything that I have lost

Still, her eyes are haunting me when I try to sleep
In the silence of the night, I hear her voice
I know the day won't that I am done with this longing

A night like this, I wish I could find my way out of this world
No matter how hard I try to forget and clear my mind
The sorrow comes

The sorrow of being left behind
The sorrow of the destroyed dream
The sorrow when all trust is gone
The sorrow giving birth to the will to die

Ooh, I know I should move forward and give something new a chance
but I am unable to break these bonds of what once used to be
Sometimes I can't help thinking there is only one way out
Through my own sorry death, in the hands of Azrael
>>
Ernest Sarringduck - Tue, 17 Dec 2019 01:39:45 EST kmCiWsoS No.532848 Reply
>>532811
This be deep. I relate some kinda way. Probably with far less eloquence. Also still trying to heal from these (multiple) experiences with the acceptance of two facts. 1 being that her attributes however striking and enticing were a mere reflection of my own. And 2. You're never right or wrong in love. Only fucked. Don't forget about what u homes. One luv
>>
Caroline Punnerhood - Sat, 21 Dec 2019 17:33:45 EST Lny7/LNo No.532893 Reply
It's important to hide your powerlevels and act like a model citizen with things like drugs, especially if a cop out of nowhere finds a reason to check your place.

On that matter, doubt I'll be sleeping much tonight.
>>
Archie Sabblepeg - Sat, 28 Dec 2019 12:39:48 EST Brprpp9N No.532979 Reply
I just realized that I have a problem with being alone. I've always lived with other people, now I live and work mostly on my own, and I feel sad. Is there a way to cope with this? I miss people, and I hate missing people because I feel I should be able to be good company to myself, so I feel this is something I have to overcome.

When I lived with my parents it was the complete opposite. I yearned for a weekend or a couple days on my own with no other people to intervene in my daily affairs, but I that I have that and can spend weeks by myself at home, I feel empty. Is this a normal part of growing up? How do you guys cope (besides hanging around here, obviously)?.
>>
Basil Sommerdire - Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:54:18 EST jnas4L6T No.532996 Reply
>>532979

it was a big adjustment for me to live alone. i drank way too much in the early days. you need to make an effort to develop friends. go to social gatherings, reach out to cool coworkers/classmates/friends of friends, hell even try something like a meetup website if you are running low on options. ive gone hiking a couple times and ended up getting dates out of it (don't expect anything though)
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DarkFira !.501mRAAvg - Tue, 31 Dec 2019 22:26:59 EST jF2Pxp2F No.533048 Reply
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>>3733486>>532893
Nuff said, you're slipping.Characters that appear throughout the Street Sharks series are listed
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Jenny Blackgold - Fri, 17 Jan 2020 19:46:12 EST oEeh8XSK No.533295 Reply
>>533193

okay ... i was resentful you ignored me...
>>
Nell Pemmerlock - Wed, 12 Feb 2020 06:29:45 EST TUQC22QU No.533596 Reply
worst thing ever = probably repeating time.
>>
Nell Pemmerlock - Wed, 12 Feb 2020 06:33:13 EST TUQC22QU No.533597 Reply
>>533193
so did they die because of repetition or horrific idea? anime has little else to go than ren and stimpy, aqua teen hunger force silly? or porn? they are basicaly porn these days/
>>
Cedric Benkinshaw - Sun, 16 Feb 2020 08:36:41 EST 6LCI1CKD No.533658 Reply
Hey is it possible to die on buprenorphine patches? Maybe chewing a bunch? I also have xanax
pls respond
>>
Basil Furrymere - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 13:34:29 EST XMSqYA1M No.533678 Reply
>>533658
I don't know let me search it on the internet we're both using and get back to you
>>
Rebecca Brookridge - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:44:22 EST Lny7/LNo No.533734 Reply
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The first epileptic seizure I had sucked, but two days ago I had the second one and now I'm just slowly losing my desire to live. The medication's not helping with these life-hating urges, I'm not suffering from self-harming urges but holy shit I just absolutely loathe my existence. I never should've taken a T-break from cannabis either, the sooner I get my hands on sweet fucking Mary Jane again the better. I'm sobbing from the sheer frustration, if there is a God you can bet your ass I'm going to fucking harm him as much as possible once I've choked Peter at the gate.
>>
Fanny Clushsidge - Sun, 23 Feb 2020 12:07:49 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533758 Reply
>>533734
Epilepsy can come from a variety of causes and many are very controllable. My half sister had the same thing happen around 17 so she finished school and took a couple of years to deal with it (and also to grow up as a person) but she's got that shit under control now. The medication, changes to her diet and shit work just fine and she just needed that time to get used to fitting that around her life.

Don't worry about death, make the most of life. Right now that means tidying up the mess and limiting the damage this bullshit does. You've had a second seizure so I'm guessing you have no idea what it is and are assuming the worst, this is all new and alarming no doubt and it's totally normal to react like this. But it might genuinely be okay.
>>
Cornelius Hangerhit - Mon, 24 Feb 2020 06:31:39 EST Lny7/LNo No.533766 Reply
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>>533758
Thanks for the positive words. A lot has happened since that post as I explained on /weed/.
https://boards.420chan.org/weed/thread/4933087#i4934833

I'm going to have a honest and open conversation with my neurologist about this, and hope she understands. I'm completely willing to switch to 100% vaping (the hospital she works at is pretty anti-smoking in general lol) if they're willing to put me on a Bedrocan prescription.
>>
James Brollerstock - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 00:29:05 EST b2U4Jslk No.533810 Reply
>>518069
I'm feeling really unwhimsical right now it's seriously jarring
this is not normal
I need help
>>
Walter Brookcocke - Sun, 01 Mar 2020 03:51:01 EST Lny7/LNo No.533842 Reply
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>>533810
Are there ways you know of that could increase your whimsicality?
>>
Cornelius Sonningridge - Mon, 20 Apr 2020 01:32:12 EST TUQC22QU No.534366 Reply
so anyway, I cornered my mother in her room and ejaculated her door with a spatulla. She's horrible. random image repetition.
>>
Caroline Nuffingwill - Thu, 23 Apr 2020 18:30:20 EST CjFritAm No.534404 Reply
Fuck man, i feel so fucking alone, I am surrounded by people and they worry about me but I can't deal with them, they make me feel worse I feel so isolated. I cannot talk, all I want to do is drink, my life is falling apart. They ask me what's wrong and if I'm okay and I just can't talk to them. Everything is dark and I am alone
>>
Hamilton Blunderwater - Fri, 24 Apr 2020 04:32:41 EST S6WwTyS/ No.534407 Reply
>>534366
just move out then wtf i moved out at 18 dont angstily ejaculate at your mother.
i never imagined i would have to say that wow.
>>
Hamilton Blunderwater - Fri, 24 Apr 2020 04:35:15 EST S6WwTyS/ No.534408 Reply
>>534404
hey i feel what youre describing and can empathasize I'm
both vegan and empathetic and I'm losing interest in all the things i used to care about and i feel estranged from the person I want to be idk and I'm insecure about my teeth and I'm struggling with depression. I'm sorry yo
>>
Clara Pummerhood - Sat, 25 Apr 2020 20:23:27 EST CjFritAm No.534424 Reply
>>534411

I've tried to quit many times but I always relapse. I quit opi's I quit benzos but I always relapse with booze. I made it 3 months once. It all feels so absurd and futile, and I feel tired and isolated
>>
Eugene Foshtuck - Sun, 26 Apr 2020 00:38:07 EST vJ+Hk/Je No.534425 Reply
>>534424
And alcohol amplifies all that to the point where they consume your mind.
>>
Angus Bandlehat - Wed, 06 May 2020 12:07:39 EST lHIfZTRL No.534485 Reply
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I've been avoiding people for a while, Everything they say makes me feel lonely and more isolated. I randomly fly in blind rage for no reason. Thankfully, no one has seen me in this state yet. I guess my grandmother's passing hit me harder than I would have imagined.
>>
Molly Domblefuck - Thu, 14 May 2020 05:09:12 EST nAohdKzy No.534574 Reply
backed myself into a corner

all choices will lead to fear, anxiety and suffering
>>
%random% - Sun, 17 May 2020 09:55:32 EST 44drMUgM No.534637 Reply
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>>518069
Hey, I dont want to join you on IRC but I want to write things down in hope to ... I really dont know. I dont even know why I take my already pretty worthless time and waste it to rant about mysef
I am soon going to be 30 and I have not the slightest clue what I am doing with my life. I have been hospitalized for depression and social anxiety a few times and every time I've been in there things soon started to look better and the antidepressants have helped as well.
But its always the same... as soon as I am "back on the street" I am spiraling back to depression.
Of course the biggest problem is that I lack of a goal in my life. I have learned a shit job with bad pay, lots of extra hours and I had problems connecting with customers every single day. I dont work that shit anymore it was a nightmare repeating itself every single day and every single day got worse. Except creating music there is nothing going on in my life and I am not even that good or have a fan base at all. Its nothing I can build anything from. My ex-girlfriend left me for the lack of perspective in my life and of course I cant blame anybody but myself for it. And even though it has been 2 years already every single day I end up thinking about her and wishing she would just be here. Of course it wouldnt help if she would be. It is nothing but pain. She has moved on.

I feel so incredible lost. I dont know what to do. It feels like every step in any direction is wrong and I will fail anyway not that I have any idea in which direction I should start going anyway. It feels like I have missed my opportunities long ago. I dont really connect with most of the people, even though there is a very small group of people I consider my friends. And sometimes there are good days when I dont think about suicide or cry because she isnt here anymore. I wont go back to the hospital anytime in the future. I am taking my antidepressants and they do not help. It feels like nothing is going anywhere good for me. I feel like I have not the slightest control over my life which is pretty accurate and I dont feel able to change it. This constant pressure fucks with my head and body. I have diarrhea and stomach pain pretty much every single day. I pray that I get sick and just die fast to make things easier for my family. But in the end .... does it really matter?
Did you know it just takes 10-30 seconds until you lose consciousness when you hang yourself?
>>
Polly Drattingshit - Sun, 17 May 2020 10:57:00 EST xbwHm37A No.534638 Reply
>>534637
Many people find that they go into treatment for depression or drugs or what have you, and then when they get out, they go back to their old life. You're the person who's going to be walking through the supermarket wine aisle and you're the only one who will ever know if you buy something and take it home, and that's when you have to actually use the skills they teach you in therapy. That's where a lot of people choke, fall apart (this can be applied to any coping strategy, I'm just using liquor as an example).

You have coping strategies that you use to get through your life, and as you're basically functional, those strategies are working. The chaos in your life and mind is a side-effect. You have to think of the strategies you learn in therapy as stuff that's difficult but works. Your coping strategies also work, and are easier, but create chaos. At the time you're called upon to choose, you need to practice mindful acceptance that the hard path for you is actually easier on everyone else and therefore you, as a result, and these things that are pretending to be functional coping strategies are not.
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Matilda Snodworth - Fri, 22 May 2020 15:16:44 EST 7G6Iav9p No.534684 Reply
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Something I've been dealing with lately is the Learn To Code™ meme

How do you deal with being treated as a subhuman because you aren't a programmer?
>>
Matilda Snodworth - Fri, 22 May 2020 16:04:33 EST 7G6Iav9p No.534685 Reply
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It's me!

I'm the Dependent Weakling!

(Enjoy some combat violinists https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csVZ5oiFnEw )

I should have never joined the military. Or at least when people cleared rifles while pointing them at me, they should have ACTUALLY fucked it up and killed me.

I just can't do anything effectively. Everything I try to do fails. I am the self-suppressing unit. I lose the three-block war. Every single action I take on, no matter how simple, fails. Every time.

Even just now I plugged in an external DVD drive. It spooled up, sounding like a particularly pathetic rotary, or at least any Mazda in winter, but it's already late May, and just... Nothing. A flashing light on its face, and no drive mounted. Fuck it. Everything I do fails; every time.

I wanted to see if I still had some F18 dummy bomb footage, but no. Fuck that. I can't mount volumes. I can't use an external optical drive. Everything I do fails. EVERY TIME.
>>
Sophie Wullerway - Thu, 28 May 2020 09:23:19 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534715 Reply
>>534685
Sorry for the late reply it's been hard to come up with something.

I think because of the overwhelming negativity. Beating yourself up achieves nothing. Yes admitting your limits and failures takes strength but using them as a way to justify further failures pre emptively undermines your chances of escaping. The truth is that pessimism does not make one more resilient, only disappoints more if you're right. It also stops you looking for the why. While positivity equips us better to fail, because we see what we can salvage and what we can learn.

You beat yourself up but you don't look at why you failed or what you can take home from it. If that drive spun up then it's got power and it thinks it's plugged into a motherboard and has a disc in. Can windows see the drive? If so have you tried another disc? Can anyone else get the drive to work on their PC? I've never used an external drive, if I got the result you did there on an "internal" one I'd probably assume the drive had broken if none of the previous stuff solved it. It could also be drivers, or the port. Or the OS not liking the drive.

If you want to not hate yourself you can't just instantly transition into a functioning adult. You have to do it a step at a time. It's what everyone else did. And yes it's better late than never. Better something than nothing.
>>
Jack Bunstone - Sat, 30 May 2020 02:05:45 EST 7G6Iav9p No.534730 Reply
The thing is though,

>>534684
>>534685
>>534715
> you aren't a programmer
You're subhuman. That's it. You've lost. It's over. You're nothing more than a jolly african-american with swords.

>You beat yourself up but you don't look at why you failed or what you can take home from it.
The computer is trash. It can maintain stability once on, but seemingly can't maintain a boot record once losing prime power. fuck it. I didn't do anything wrong. Everyone else can enjoy a laptop with a stable boot record; I can't. Fuck it. I am not going to fight battles I can't win.

I've since played with a children's compound bow. It's REALLY weak. but more importantly it is incredibly stressful to fire. It came with fancy fibre optic sights, but only a front set and no rear peep. I've been able to artillery fire arrows by aiming using a piece of tape and the front sight in the back yard but the bow is still very weak and the arrows are hard to find among the grass, especially in the dark.

And it is incredibly stressful to fire. It is very hard to aim. There are no sights. Even putting tape on the string (that cannot adopt a sight; it's coated and solid) it's very difficult to aim let alone shoot consistently. It's still a compound bow, though, and is expected by everyone to be very accurate.

My landlord actually caught me playing with it tonight; I stammered out a response about not wanting karens to call the cops and so having to practice only at night when no one can see. Still, with fibre-optic front sights and shitty tape on the string to serve as a rear "sight" my grouping wasn't very good.
>>
Edwin Dinnerhut - Sat, 30 May 2020 18:48:48 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534738 Reply
>>534730
>You're subhuman. That's it. You've lost. It's over. You're nothing more than a jolly african-american with swords.
What the fuck are you talking about? Get ahold of yourself and make some sense. I can't even tell if your berating yourself or everyone else.
>>
Walter Smallson - Sun, 31 May 2020 14:54:50 EST 7G6Iav9p No.534754 Reply
>>534738
it me. because I am not skilled in the current meme stacks, I'm worthless and everything I do is pointless
>>
Augustus Shakewell - Sun, 31 May 2020 20:19:06 EST 4blDKyFQ No.534756 Reply
>>534754
Why do you need everything you do in life to have a point? Lord... Let go.
>>
Edwin Turveystock - Mon, 01 Jun 2020 03:58:54 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534767 Reply
>>534754
Stop putting so much energy into berating yourself. Focus on what you can do better rather than what you did wrong. No one is instantly good at anything it takes practice but with your attitude you never learn you just fail the same way and then take the energy you could have used to figure out how to make it a bit less wrong next time and spend ages crafting insults to use on yourself. Instead of taking that attempt and further improving you throw yourself into hysterics. Instead of starting to become okay you dismiss advice and just focus on pummelling yourself. Instead of continuing to become actually good you repeatedly post like this repeating your mantra that you're worthless so you believe it and feel justified.

But yeah everything is pointless in an objective sense. You have your subjective perspective so in that what has worth?
>>
Jack Seshson - Mon, 01 Jun 2020 07:35:42 EST LUAyeKAb No.534775 Reply
>>534756
oh something about good experiences mattering even though goodness is a societal determination and doesn't matter as something to say to be a dick
>>
Nicholas Sishson - Mon, 01 Jun 2020 23:45:09 EST usehq5m4 No.534785 Reply
>>534767
>You have your subjective perspective so in that what has worth?
apparently, it's all the mid-range* programmers, electronic artists, digital visual artists, and that's about it who seems to have objective worth. privilege ladders notwithstanding (they dont withstand ime(In My Experience), im a mutt)

*by mid-range i dont mean by skill; i mean the people below (above?) assembly programmers, high-speed graphics wonks and other machine code level types, but below webdevs, but still using, abusing, or creating ~microservices~
Those are the people who get to do things and be happy.

>Focus on what you can do better rather than what you did wrong.
people say this but i consider it just another meme, like "just breathe bro :)" or "just look up mindfulness :)"

A few years ago I picked up a cheap spring piston air rifle and it was genuinely relaxing to look down the scope or sights and shoot at something like 5m away (like down the hallway of a cheap apartment) because it was very easy to focus on the reticule or sights and just kinda blank out and eventually fire slowly and smoothly once I'd calmed down. I could put 10, 20 pellets downrange and only notice the time passing just from cocking it. I only wouldn't go through like 50 pellets a session because pellets are insanely expensive for some reason, and I had a roommate at the time who might not've tolerated constant PINGs of wasting a modeling foam-filled frying pan. Inbetween I did experiment with adjusting the iron(plastic)sights, fucking with the actual scope, stances, all that. Very relaxing.

I haven't replaced the rifle but I did pick up that shitty fucking bow and it is the most unbelievably stressful object. Almost as stressful as a computer and shell.

It's impossible to aim, let alone figure out why my last shot went wide. Even just trying to google why the fuck there were certain bits bolted to it and where, or how to adjust it without it exploding, or even asking online just how to sight in the fucking thing. And that would be fine but it's endemic of life in general -- having a problem with something others can do? FUCK YOU. You're just a scrub! Lol demanding spoonfeeding! Fag jolly african-american jovial jew out here trying to be hawkeye lol!

In one good session, even drunk, I got a lot better, but even then, I know I can't practice during the day because some karen will call the fucking cops, and I can't do it at night because that's weird.

And even that aside, it's the same story for every hobby, or every activity really. Can't do it because some fucker will fuck you up for daring to try
>>
Ian Cissleworth - Tue, 02 Jun 2020 05:08:54 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534787 Reply
>>534785
>people say this but i consider it just another meme, like "just breathe bro :)" or "just look up mindfulness :)"
This is your problem. It's not a meme, it's how we do everything. It's what you did when shooting, you missed so you adjusted your aim stance and so on and got better. It's not just a mindset, it's a practical approach. Everyone that is good at something is constantly looking at the things they could do better and working on those. You tried new things and looked at what did and also didn't work. Yet in this thread you're having a massive tantrum directed at yourself. What does it achieve except making you feel worse?

If you are shooting a cheap bow in the dark you may have unreliable kit, you may need to learn to compensate. If you can't really see what you're doing you won't learn. If you're not a black person you probably need to move to a less shitty neighbourhood where you can shoot without people getting funny. If you are black then I can understand your paranoia in weilding a weapon in public.

You are right to say "I fucked up" or "this didnt work" but the next step is always to look at what you can do better. Don't be an idiot who blames themselves for stuff that they couldn't have known, or where they did the right thing given their knowledge available and got unlucky (say that DVD drive was broken, there's nothing you could have done differently until you plugged it and found it was defective). At the same time we can look at situations, sometimes even where we're not really at fault and look at how we could have limited the damage done by someone else's mistakes.

No one who is best at their field or even good at it is using the technique they started using. They didn't just do their thing and practice that. They looked at what worked and didn't and found a better form and practiced that. I'll give you an example.

My local fire service had a couple of firefighters die in a fire 10 years ago. After the incident they looked at all the things that went wrong and found there were failings throughout the incident, it was a catalogue of individually moderate errors that added up to the guys getting trapped in dying. Many of these were not entirely unique problems and mistakes, but usually they'd just mean a slightly slower resolution and more fire damage. But the more of them happen the more risk to life and property.

One of the firefighters got caught on some cabling and they both got disorientated and couldn't escape. This wouldn't have happened if the their breathing apparatus hadn't got tangled in the cables so they "invented" a little velcro strip that effectively tied off all the sticking out bits, they also provided the firefighters with insulated bolt cutterrs. Finally they talked to the landlord, those cables were secured to the ceiling but the cheap fastening had melted when it shouldn't have. Communication was poor so they tightend up protocol. They wouldn't have been there if they found the fire, but at the time thermal imaging was still being phased in, if they'd used it they've had found the fire, instead of walking past it and getting lost. So now they survey with thermal imaging as standard. This actually changed the culture of the service and since then they tend to autopsy a significant proportion of events including every major one. It's hard to know how effective this is but firefighters don't get caught on cables and they all love their thermal imaging cameras now.
>>
Graham Gungerwill - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 04:05:41 EST Lny7/LNo No.534797 Reply
>Two epileptic seizures around the start of 2020
>Now on two types of anti-epilepsy medication (trying to switch from one)
>My neurologist is so fucking retarded she can't even keep track of the amount I'm supposed to be taking of each

>Paid a small fortune to fix as much of my body as possible
>Don't have to feel physically disgusting any more, slight confidence boost
>Still can't get any positive replies or conversation in general even though I try to be helpful and polite towards everyone

>COVID-19 hits, can't go into quarantine out of fear for my job. (intern already got their ass kicked out when they went into quarantine, employer referred to him as a 'useless pussy'.) Even though, y'know, epilepsy and a severely compromised immune system.
>Everything goes okay-ish for weeks, constant back pains and quickly tired
>News: "lol a fuckload of the population probably has asymptonic COVID-19 and will have to live with reduced lung functions for the rest of their life."

>Currently at home because I got carsick in the heat yesterday and started throwing up a lot of water and specks of blood
>Tongue is damaged on the right side, red specks all over my shoulders and neck, slept like absolute shit and threw up some more last night

I wish that first epileptic seizure ended in me breaking my skull on the sink, I was blacked out so it would've been the least painful death.
>>
Walter Divinghune - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 05:18:04 EST 7J8o2xTW No.534799 Reply
>>534797
As useless as it is to say this, endure. Things look bleak because you're in the worst of it.

>asymptonic COVID-19 and will have to live with reduced lung functions for the rest of their life
That's a dodgy news source or you're mixing information up, lung damage is a result of severe and critical cases. Even if I'm wrong it's not asymptomatic if it's detectably damaging lungs.

It doesn't sound like you're just suffering car sickness. It sounds like you got something. Could also be the meds. My half sister struggled with epilepsy and it took a couple of meds (though making sure she had a good diet and throwing in vitamin supplements on top of that also seems to have helped) and a couple of years to get it under control.

Also look for a new employer at some point. Your current ones are arseholes. Mine have been great but that's the public sector for you. I'm "moderately at risk" and I was encouraged to work from home as soon as it was an option. I wasn't forced to for the entire 2 days before the whole office was closed either.
>>
Graham Gungerwill - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 14:18:44 EST Lny7/LNo No.534805 Reply
>>534799
>Even if I'm wrong it's not asymptomatic if it's detectably damaging lungs.
Well I feel physically fucked in various ways, so I guess it's not asymptonic then. Turns out I had another seizure (my third one this year) in the car, and no one fucking told me. My neurologist also gave me wrong information about switching medication so she's pretty much to blame for this horse shit along with my shit manager who forgot there was an important appointment he needed an extra person for (AKA me) at the last moment.

I'm already planning to switch neurologists 'cause this one pisses me off a LOT.
>>
Phoebe Gashforth - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 19:47:27 EST usehq5m4 No.534808 Reply
>>534799
>>534805
I doubt it's pangolin flu. a respiratory illness is unlikely to make you vomit blood and "everyone has covid but its asymptomatic but trust us everyone has it!!!" is disinfo from spooked white people obsessed with virtue signalling via wearing cheap paper masks. (and if it's true, if it's asymptomatic then there's nothing to worry about. if there was something to worry about, that would be a symptom, now wouldn't it) specks of blood in vomit are also not super worrisome, some mechanical damage is to be expected in violent vomiting. it's only a worry if the blood is very dark (implying it's been at least partially digested so it's from you tract) or if there's a lot of it. red specks on your body and vomiting sounds like some kind of allergic reaction

your boss/company is an absolute shitter btw. find a different employer ASAP and leave a shitty review on glassdoor; even if they refuse to let people stop coming in, they should never be outright referring to people as a "useless pussy" for any reason, that's beyond unprofessional to say the least
>>
Fanny Dartson - Wed, 03 Jun 2020 21:59:46 EST usehq5m4 No.534809 Reply
>>534787
>No one who is best at their field or even good at it is using the technique they started using.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/talent

still doesn't change that if you are getting older and don't have a glowing git page and new awards for things every year and putting out albums and comic books monthly inbetween streaming and doing social justice shit and owning a giant property with gardens and off-grid everything, you're a worthless simpleton and cannot possibly catch up.

you can't even get a job as a janitor without being fuckin' steve ballmer himself, I've seen it first hand, they ask fizzbuzz in interviews now even for min wage non-CS jobs and job postings often require more years of experience with new technologies than those technologies have even existed for duties that will never ever make use of that hardware/software anyway (e.g. wanna apply for a secretary/receptionist job? better have 7+ years experience with kubernetes.)

>firefighting shit
excellent example. in the navy i have to do regular small courses on shipboard firefighting and the training changes every single time, seemingly randomly, and seldom in response to any particular incident. there is essentially no way to get a good rating in their simulator based training (it's a real facility but with positively-controlled gas burners) and especially not during practices on your ship since they will just invent problems if you are doing well. we also have thermal imaging cameras available; they do fuck-all and they still tell you to put your fucking hand on doors to check for heat. and every exercise, I see the same mistakes over and over; people leaving without radios, or not turning the radio on. people not doing or fucking up mask checks. people not doing up their bunker gear properly. There isn't any actual improvement in form, and changes in doctrine are made so that on people's yearly performance review they can get a check in the box next to "Led Change"
>>
Graham Broffingtidge - Thu, 04 Jun 2020 04:09:18 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534810 Reply
>>534809
Talent doesn't mean easymode it means more for less. Just providing an example of someone who sucks compared to someone who doesn't only proves my argument.
>>
Esther Pitthall - Thu, 04 Jun 2020 07:20:08 EST v/kRYDPs No.534812 Reply
>>534809
You talk like a person who only knows one way to do things. Talent and experience are separate concepts. People who are really scary good at things, good enough to do them in many different varied ways, will tell you that.
>>
Caroline Smallwill - Thu, 04 Jun 2020 20:41:13 EST usehq5m4 No.534821 Reply
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>>534812
> People who are really scary good at things, good enough to do them in many different varied ways, will tell you that.
People who are "really scary good at things" will give you such fasntnig protips as "Just draw the fucking owl.", "Have you looked up the OSI model?", or occasionally "I'm not here to spoonfeed you, niglet. If you had any real passion for the subject you would have read everything you can get your hands on by now..."

even in books intended to be manuals and inspiration, they are obnoxious and specifically designed to damage morale and keep newcomers beyond the gates. for example, this passage from "Zero to Maker"
>The toaster seemed to have been a perfect challenge: an everyday object most people use regularly without a single thought given to its inherent ingenuity and utility. For Thwaites, the first step in the process was acquiring the toaster he had in mind and breaking it down for parts. He needed to understand exactly what he was trying to re-create. After completely disassembling and laying out the nearly 400 components built from roughly 100 different materials, he quickly realized the enormity of his endeavor. I knew exactly how he felt. I had run into a similar quandary. With the vague goal of re-skilling myself, I quickly ran up against the enormity of my quest: What did I actually want to make? What tool or tool family should I start with? Should I practice my woodworking skills or spend time learning about 3D printing? Thwaites wisely opted to redefine the scope of his project, and decided he would recreate just the main operating system of the toaster, or in Thwaites’ words, “the bare minimum from which I think I can make a toaster that retains the essence of toasterness. These are: steel, mica, copper, plastic, and nickel.” Even after he scaled down his goal to recreating only 5 of the nearly 100 materials, Thwaites still had an enormous challenge on his hands. He had no idea where to get the materials, or even where to start looking.

>His initial, simple question had evolved into an exposition of how unthinkably hard it is to make anything, let alone do it by yourself.

From a fucking book intended as a newbies' engineering manual, based on FPGAs and simple factoring There is nothing about COTS parts usage, and the high technology known as "Stamping" is introduced incredibly late as a revelation to the author and a high technology for the reader to only pursue after exhausting the limits of 3d printing.

or here, from a book on Assembly. Not even 6502 assembly or anything, just "Assembly For Linux." Awesome! Assembly for a system that is already vastly higher level than that. x86? x64? ARM? Something else? Fuck you for asking.

>This book starts at the beginning, and I mean the beginning. Maybe you’re already there, or well past it. I respect that. I still think that it wouldn’t hurt to start at the first chapter and read through all the chapters in order. Review is useful, and hey—you may realize that you didn’t know quite as much as you thought you did. (Happens to me all the time!) But if time is at a premium, here’s the cheat sheet:
>1. If you already understand the fundamental ideas of computer programming, skip Chapter 1.
>2. If you already understand the ideas behind number bases other than decimal (especially hexadecimal and binary), skip Chapter 2.
>3. If you already have a grip on the nature of computer internals (memory, CPU architectures, and so on) skip Chapter 3.
>4. If you already understand x86 memory addressing, skip Chapter 4.
>5. No. Stop. Scratch that. Even if you already understand x86 memory addressing, read Chapter 4.

Instantly it makes assumptions about the reader, and insults him. Rather than just providing a simple summary of chapters for reference, it makes a big deal out of it. What if I'm a 60 year old grognard who just needs a modern command reference? Fuck me for being presumptous. What if I'm an aspiring speedrunner who wants to know how Arbitrary Code Execution works? Looks like I need to be remined of my incompetence for daring to try to learn.
>>
Clara Fandale - Fri, 05 Jun 2020 06:25:32 EST 7J8o2xTW No.534822 Reply
>>534821
You are full of shit. You seek negativity. You refuse useful help time and again. The problem is not that you are incapable but that you choose to ruin everything. You choose it. You are not crippled, you are not weak, you are not worthless, you just choose this life. You may still be the victim here but you are definitely the abuser.

Start with outlining the proportions and then fill it in.
https://how2drawanimals.com/8-animals/74-draw-barn-owl.html
>>
Samuel Sinkintadge - Fri, 05 Jun 2020 06:34:40 EST kFYnmYAh No.534824 Reply
>>534821
So don't. If you're taking it all that personally, learn through experimentation, trial and error, or some other way that doesn't involve a teacher.
>>
Fuck Worthingridge - Sat, 06 Jun 2020 20:41:19 EST usehq5m4 No.534837 Reply
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>>534822
>DRAW THE FUCKING OWL!!!!
It's not even the same drawing lmao. look at its ass, legs, and right wing.

>>534824
ah yes, just learn assembly by trial and error.
>>
Martin Pimmerseck - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 07:20:00 EST USUZpST+ No.534910 Reply
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>>534837
>It's not even the same drawing lmao.
Yes it is. They just altered it slightly.
>>
Eugene Cibblebet - Mon, 15 Jun 2020 22:45:23 EST usehq5m4 No.534933 Reply
>>534910
>it's not different at all, the outline is just totally different and the detailing doesn't fill in the outline you got walked through for 100 steps
JUST
DRAW
THE
FUCKING
OWL
>>
Sidney Murdbanks - Tue, 16 Jun 2020 15:27:59 EST USUZpST+ No.534936 Reply
>>534933
The outlining is 95% identical. Have you never used an eraser to make small changes to a pencil drawing?
>>
Clara Cruzzlechit - Fri, 19 Jun 2020 09:16:56 EST usehq5m4 No.534956 Reply
>>534936
>Have you never used an eraser
real art is done in ink and real artists don't make mistakes
>>
William Hicklehut - Wed, 24 Jun 2020 15:20:54 EST qTml9FbR No.535050 Reply
>>534956

This. Ink, paint, or gtfo. Any "mistake" is just a happy accident waiting to be transformed into a new vision, and something to be learned from.
>>
Lillian Burringhood - Thu, 25 Jun 2020 09:54:07 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535072 Reply
>>535050
But that's not what he said. What he said was
>mistakes mean failure
Though actually what he means is
>I'm wasting your time.
At this point it's more likely he's a trolling than putting this much effort into "Low effort" rebuttals.

He was talking about drawing the owl not fine art. You've let him move the goalposts. Ignore him, stop him drowning out real people and real problems.
>>
Phyllis Shittingman - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 01:01:13 EST S6WwTyS/ No.535193 Reply
>>518069
I got off work and was tired and took a nap and now I feel guilty, should I feel guilty?
>>
David Hivingbud - Fri, 24 Jul 2020 04:49:37 EST MoSo8+P4 No.535422 Reply
>>535193
for taking nap?
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Shit Nabbledotch - Sun, 26 Jul 2020 23:45:57 EST 2XVEGG21 No.535446 Reply
I wonder what exactly is wrong with my brain. I can't focus on anything anymore. I try and draw and I quit after a few minutes. Its frustrating, I haven't made any progress since I just stop after I start drawing a torso or whatever. I'll give up writing a post on some website and just delete everything after a few seconds since I can't bring myself to do it. Recently while I was scrolling through Twitter I gave up, my brain didn't want it, so I just laid down in bed instead.

Maybe its exhaustion? I'm being overworked and going through some shit with my girlfriend. Maybe its mental illness and my SSRI isn't doing enough, or doesn't help withh whatever else I have. Maybe both and other shit. I really don't wanna exist anymore, it's too much. But I can't hurt my mom like that, so I won't do anything. ah.
>>
Betsy Chopperfield - Mon, 27 Jul 2020 12:51:10 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535453 Reply
>>535446
It could be exhaustion or depression. If your circumstances change and you still feel bad, contact your usual mental health provider. In the mean time exercise, sleep, hydration and eating well will not cure shit, but you'll feel a teeny bit better now and a lot better later if you force as much of them as you can. Hell maybe some mindless running will do you good.

If your circumstances don't change soon take action to change them or you'll be stuck where you are until it gets worse.
>>
Hamilton Fockleforth - Mon, 27 Jul 2020 17:36:25 EST s0jfgpr4 No.535458 Reply
>>535446
Back when I was on an SNRI, I would find it was both capable of reducing and producing more brain fog just depending on the day. Do you take much caffeine often? Has your diet changed? Is your diet consistent? Are you staying properly hydrated? I'm guessing you probably don't have much time for exercise given you are being overworked.

I would suggest taking a multivitamin, being consistent with when you take your medicine and if you take caffeine, taking consistent amounts of it and at the same times of day. Make sure you're drinking enough (I sweat something ridiculous, especially at work because I work at a physical job, but I can often tell I'm starting to get dehydrated by noticing that I'm beginning to have trouble concentrating on what I'm doing, feeling a little shitty, and actually even starting to get a bit less coordinated when it comes more precise motions... it's all very subtle and would otherwise be easy to miss, but within 5 minutes of getting a good drink in I go back to how I was and feel great), make sure you aren't eating overly sugary foods and get sources of multiple food groups. I also suggest getting an MCT oil supplement, it seems to help people experiencing cognitive impairment of most kinds after taking it consistently for a month or so (even providing significant improvement for people with dementia and Alzheimer's). MCTs are medium-chain triglycerides, which, unlike long-chain triglycerides, are digested very quickly and are metabolized into ketones by the liver. The cells in the brain can use ketones as an alternate energy source to glucose, as well as in other parts of the body. To some degree it helps burn fat and mildly suppressed appetite, which helps stabilize spikes and dips in blood sugar (both helping prevent developing diabetes and brain fog).

If you can even just manage 30 minutes of moderate exercise, it'll do wonders for brain fog, your immune system, and your ability to tolerate and recover from stress. Just doing some pushups, situps, and mild cardio with a jump rope, fast-walking, or jogging will immensely improve your mood, how healthy you feel, your perception/attitude/outlook, and ability to cope and deal with stress both mentally and physically. Let's face it, right now, the benefits to your immune system are something you should be exercising for anyway. Being over-stressed from being over-worked is likely negatively affecting your immune system, both from not being as able to physically respond to it or mentally tolerate it as well, but by impacting how much sleep you are getting too. Exercise is going to help you sleep, which also is huge for boosting your immune system, and it's beginning to be recognized that inflammation and the response to stress in the brain is highly implicated in depression and the ability to think clearly and focus (as well as divergent thinking/creativity). Loads of nootropics that seem to both treat depression and improve cognition show evidence of improving neuronal plasticity and adaptability to stress, as well as preventing inflammation in the brain (which provides some indirect evidence for the stress/immune system/inflammation model of depression). Exercise also helps stabilize blood sugar levels and metabolism, which also plays into improving the brain fog that spikes and dips in blood sugar can cause. Like I said, just 30 minutes a day of moderate exercise is enough to see significant improvements in these areas of your health.
>>
Cornelius Dronnerwure - Tue, 28 Jul 2020 18:13:06 EST VAcauGzm No.535487 Reply
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I'm falling for a Dangerous woman
>>
Cornelius Negglewure - Tue, 28 Jul 2020 22:05:30 EST nnevZQOa No.535493 Reply
>>535491
She had a rough life starting real early, and I think she might have killed someone before. She doesn't talk about it much.
>>
Samuel Firringnedge - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 03:09:11 EST /p7iBRUF No.535496 Reply
>>535487
>>535493
I'm a woman with a rough life starting real early, who might've killed someone before. That said, I have saved more lives than I have taken. I would advise taking your time to know this person, and really start to understand how she thinks. Does she have a hair-trigger temper? Does she let things build up until they explode? Her past actions do not necessarily indicate her current state, though obviously you want to know what you're getting into. Violence can be a necessary step in escaping a tempestuous youth. At the same time, maybe she's stab-happy and loving it, in which case you obviously don't want any part of what's on offer if I understand you properly.

Talk! Learn! These are the keystones on which any relationship is built, romantic or platonic.
>>
Esther Dromblespear - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 09:39:56 EST VAcauGzm No.535503 Reply
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>>535496
We've actually talked a whole, whole lot. I'm convinced pretty deeply that she's currently a Good Person. She's emotionally mature, communicates her problems, does have a tendency to get angry quickly, but enough self-awareness to notice within a couple seconds that she's losing herself. She's got a problem with alcohol, that she's working on getting under control. My trepidation just comes from the stuff I don't know. The stuff I don't know if I'll ever know, you know?

She's told me when drinking but doesn't remember that, like, she's "done things she doesn't think she can ever talk about" and "hurt people, really badly, maybe for fun," when she was a teenager going through Bad Shit.

I should make it clear that I, myself, am a former drug addict and relatively hardened criminal. Just for the sake of context, I'm not sheltered to this type of person. I actually find it difficult to connect, emotionally, with anyone who hasn't been to rock bottom in the same way.
>>
Esther Dromblespear - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 10:54:01 EST VAcauGzm No.535504 Reply
>>535503
I don't really have anyone to talk to about things like this in my Meat Life, other than a journal, so this is pretty much the first time I've tried to articulate any of it. I can't even say I'm falling for her, that already happened. We've known each other maybe a year and a half. I know, because we've come really close to Having The Conversation, that she ostensibly feels the same way.

I'm in love with her and I want to move out to a cabin in the woods with her and take care of some chickens and just Live. It just feels really Right, which scares me, because every time I've felt this before it's because I was being manipulated and was Supposed to feel that way. I've been burned so many times by so many people, that combined with the nervousness I feel about what she's told me, it makes it really difficult to shake off the recurring thought about what if she's got negative intentions. 99% of me tells me that she's Good, but the 1% that never ever stops screaming insists that it's too good to be true and what if she murders me.

This is probably nonsense.
>>
Nicholas Bocklefield - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 11:15:25 EST UpZDwX6q No.535505 Reply
>>535504
A lot of people want others to see them as dangerous for some reason. The only difference in her case is that she isn't bragging about how dangerous she says she is, she claims to be ashamed of it. It's just edge. People have it.
>>
Graham Henningdale - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:33:06 EST 1SSFeKJF No.535507 Reply
>>535505
>>535504
If she's ashamed of it then she's grown past that.

We have all done things we're ashamed of. What we are doing and who we are is important. Our past only matters because it's a stage in us becoming who we are.

If you cannot trust her your relationship is doomed. If she has simply not said some things then that's different. I don't think you need to know what she did for peace of mind. You do need to know what she plans to do. If she's left it behind then that version of her doesn't exist. That is what you need to confirm. You don't need to know her past if that is not the person you are with.

Also how much of your fear is because you're damaged and usually select awful partners so now you're conditioned to expect brutality as part of love? If I'm right about that do make sure you don't see abuse as normal etc too.
>>
Esther Dromblespear - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:52:19 EST VAcauGzm No.535508 Reply
>>535507
Yeah, it's not as though I have a right or need or honestly even desire to know the full extent of her past, but being consciously aware that those Blank Spots are there makes me aware that, like, I'm not really sure what she's capable of ultimately.

It's strange because the only way I could describe how she is in present day is something like Christ-like. Selfless and gentle, giving, like she's trying to make up for something that she thinks she never can. We're both ostensibly committed to living that style of life.

I appreciate your words, I go to therapy and stuff so I'm fairly aware of my damage and the day to day consequences/things I need to watch out for. I feel like it's unfair to her that I'm so used to having the rug torn out from under me. I want to trust her implicitly.
>>
Molly Cluzzlepedge - Sat, 01 Aug 2020 10:45:08 EST TtXni/Rr No.535540 Reply
>>518069

Don't engage? Are you serious? Let me guess, you've never been in a successful relationship? We aren't talking about a dog, you don't ignore people when you don't like their behaviour. Argumentativeness is usually someone looking for connection, you learn to create connection in those moments then you can skip the argumentativeness. If you ignore it it will escalate it because the person's attachment injuries will become activated and they will go ape shit. Secure people who trust your love for them and aren't fearful don't get argumentative. Everything you do to increase insecurity will increase arguments.
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Clara Hacklestit - Sat, 01 Aug 2020 12:50:36 EST mHw0X0gH No.535543 Reply
>>535540
You can sidestep engaging with a disruptive behavior without ignoring the person. You've got to lower your tone.
>>
Eliza Merringwell - Mon, 03 Aug 2020 11:07:41 EST VAcauGzm No.535569 Reply
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Deeper and deeper every day. I have a tendency to get carried away by what I perceive as feelings of affection, but this is different. It's difficult.

I'm a really linear, mathematical "Logical" kind of thinker, Asperger's + ADHD, and I think part of that makes it difficult for me to put words to wispy things like emotions. This swelling in my heart, though, it just keeps getting bigger. Every time I think I cannot Feel any more strongly, I find something else about her, small or large, and it's like I love her twice as much. Again and again.

Is this what Love is? I feel like I'm going crazy.
>>
Basil Clayway - Mon, 03 Aug 2020 21:38:40 EST VAcauGzm No.535572 Reply
>>535571
No I don't really jack off at all.

We watched Evangelion TOGETHER, though.
>>
Rebecca Girringwut - Thu, 06 Aug 2020 20:09:04 EST mZfblupA No.535630 Reply
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I wrote her a letter. It's really enthusiastic and feels stupid but it's honest and straight from my heart. Feels terrifying to just lay myself out completely like this even though I more or less Know that I won't be rejected.

She has it, but it's in the back of a book so I don't know when she'll read it. It could be next week, it could be next year. Could be never. I'll have to see how things turn out.
>>
Betsy Clesslesire - Fri, 14 Aug 2020 20:30:42 EST ei5PHyUc No.535736 Reply
>>535723
I think he wrote an anonymous love letter and put it in a random library book. She’ll see it eventually man
>>
Sophie Sacklehedge - Sun, 16 Aug 2020 01:15:45 EST HKzh35yZ No.535762 Reply
Maybe it'll work out and this is just another weird test. If I play by her rules, then maybe it'll turn out. I'm hoping and praying, anyway.

I fee like I'm being left behind. Been working too much to talk with my friends... x and y are making plans. I want to go too. Please...
>>
Charlotte Pirrysedging - Tue, 01 Sep 2020 14:34:12 EST V+I+eC6C No.535925 Reply
>>535780
I'm probably too late but if you enter "/server -m irc.420chan.org" it should work
>>
Angus Bickleson - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 23:05:24 EST usehq5m4 No.536052 Reply
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ive done a lot of things wrong, and i refuse to apologize for any of them, because the things I get shit on are all things that I either never did or weren't wrong
>>
Phyllis Gammerfield - Mon, 05 Oct 2020 20:48:52 EST KwXa4fOk No.536325 Reply
>>518069
honestly, how do i post a thread? there's no normal thing at the top, I haven't been on 420chan in years, plz halp?
>>
Phyllis Gammerfield - Mon, 05 Oct 2020 23:13:00 EST KwXa4fOk No.536327 Reply
>>536326
I kno all of that should be there, it just isn't. why is that? it just shows page 1 with the requirements underneath, but I don't have boxes to make a post...this is suuuper weird. 0.0
>>
Polly Herrystone - Thu, 15 Oct 2020 02:24:54 EST JcZ+gRYB No.536495 Reply
>>536326
some people actually are too dumb to post.
haha a literal retard filter. i love it. >>536327
User is currently banned from all boards
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basic creep - Wed, 21 Oct 2020 16:12:58 EST aMsp+JMf No.536571 Reply
>>535569
just think more you nerd. Decribe to yourself how your feels are affected, and if you want these feels in your life, or just be a emotion denier forever; careful though, this person may or may not be THE person to disover things such as emotions. You're "going crazy" because you discover that you do not govern your emotions like you goern your muscles, and you don't realise how much you are under influence of them. really, just analyse all this
>>
Basil Fanhall - Wed, 18 Nov 2020 12:30:46 EST Z8E/qob6 No.536853 Reply
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Theoretically speaking if somebody was terminally ill would it be against the rules on this board to ask for suicide/euthanasia advice? Would it go on the /med/ board instead?
>>
Rebecca Fepperstig - Fri, 20 Nov 2020 01:00:59 EST Zp/4plR4 No.536861 Reply
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>>536853
Ahaha, nice try but we're on to you. You're just asking how to commit regular suicide aren't you.
>>
Jack Cuffingstock - Sat, 05 Dec 2020 05:07:36 EST VAcauGzm No.536962 Reply
I'm still so in love that I'm going to fucking die
>>
Shitting Semmerkadging - Tue, 15 Dec 2020 04:42:49 EST VAcauGzm No.537092 Reply
>>537016
I WANT TO MARRY HER AND MOVE TO A LITTLE HOUSE IN THE WOODS IN WEST VIRGINIA AND HAVE A BABY AAAAAAA
>>
Molly Sindletan - Sun, 20 Dec 2020 05:03:36 EST jPF5MXWG No.537132 Reply
had some fun diving around in the snow; in a bath robe mind you, but it was still fun. nosing around like a dumb weasel. Wasn't wearing anything but PJ pants, underwear, and a bath robe (open). I hate being overly warm, it makes me feel sick, literally. I felt shitty all night and then worked myself up enough to just go rolling around in the backyard and quite literally speaking, rolling about in snow made me feel a lot better both physically and emotionally. It's cold and I'm just a man and can only deal with cold so well, and I get embarrassed very easily, but that fleeting moment of literally rolling and nosing around in snow like a retarded husky felt so fucking good. Too bad it was already past 530 AM so all the local boomers are getting up so I have to stop lest I look like too much of an idiot to the local Karens and Tylers. But what a time. I want to huff more snow. Rolling around in the cold is great. Not doing it now for a few hours, I already miss it. It's cold and refreshing and fun and dumb and I love it and I regret that I can't just go roll around in snow without looking like some insane piece of shit and thus getting STOPPED
>>
Fuck Brushwell - Thu, 24 Dec 2020 20:15:22 EST VAcauGzm No.537231 Reply
>>537092
BOYS I THINK IT'S HAPPENING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I REALLY SHOT MY SHOT
>>
Fuck Brushwell - Fri, 25 Dec 2020 10:56:37 EST VAcauGzm No.537245 Reply
>>537231
BROS WHAT DOES "IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO HEAR THESE THINGS FROM SOMEONE I REALLY CARE ABOUT AND RESPECT" MEAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!![/b/]
>>
Shit Nazzlespear - Sat, 26 Dec 2020 04:44:24 EST VAcauGzm No.537253 Reply
SHE'S MARRIED WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Angus Blossledore - Sat, 26 Dec 2020 08:47:53 EST hfXybBex No.537255 Reply
>>537245
Don't assume anything there man. That's something I'd say to a dude friend if I was feeling extra mushy
>>
Fanny Pockforth - Sat, 26 Dec 2020 12:08:27 EST 19qx/Nue No.537258 Reply
>>537253
How did you not know this? Did you know this person at all?
>>
Shit Nazzlespear - Sat, 26 Dec 2020 15:06:59 EST VAcauGzm No.537261 Reply
>>537258
She purposefully hid it from me!!! In the long term!!! Fuck!!!!!

>>535504
>It just feels really Right, which scares me, because every time I've felt this before it's because I was being manipulated and was Supposed to feel that way.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Edward Sammlechidge - Mon, 28 Dec 2020 19:16:59 EST VAcauGzm No.537275 Reply
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Now she's trying to convince me that I don't actually love her and "Only see my need to forgive and know myself" in her. This is the most painful thing ever.
>>
Augustus Cacklestedge - Tue, 29 Dec 2020 14:18:09 EST 1SSFeKJF No.537296 Reply
>>537275
You went from 0 to I LOVE HER FOREVER pretty damn fast man. There were probably warning signs. Did you actually get any romantic reciprocation from her? You say you were close to having the conversation but did you every fool around, kiss anything like that?

If she led you on then she's deflecting, she's not even a good person and you probably missed obvious signs. Then you rushed in before you even knew. Again, this isn't unique to you and it's one you can bounce back from.

Honestly though it's hard to believe you truely loved her. Look up limerence, you were deep in that. You'll feel pain for a while but you will get better, believe and accept both those things and get on with enjoying/improving your life while those processes occur.
>>
Barnaby Sanningtuck - Wed, 30 Dec 2020 02:49:25 EST Ac4jXExJ No.537308 Reply
How do I tell my wife that I hate her father's name?
>>
Sophie Ferringnotch - Wed, 30 Dec 2020 08:36:08 EST W30CQmjX No.537321 Reply
>>537308
Pretty much in the standard way. Short term she might be all pissed of but long term she'll be happy you were honest. Purely speculative tho cause I don't know what kind of person she is.
>>
Nigel Honningledging - Wed, 06 Jan 2021 23:15:58 EST lVRdXV5a No.537547 Reply
people suck i need a beer
>>
Rhoda !!nOu201Dt - Thu, 07 Jan 2021 00:45:16 EST ieqiiruT No.537549 Reply
it's fuckin dead and i need it
>>
Fucking Gooddale - Sat, 16 Jan 2021 01:04:26 EST jPF5MXWG No.537772 Reply
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It's not a big thing but I've noticed myself getting more vocal with age. Whistling and humming more, having to restrain myself from singing along with music at home, etc. I'm stable now but a few years ago when I lived in a different town and was having a much worse time I got drunk and roared a lot. I still want to now. I wanna be LOUD more and more but it'd just be rude.

I'm not even normally a very musical guy. I don't play any instruments, and even doing electronic music, I'm pretty bad and unenthusiastic about it. But sometimes I want to roar or sing and or bark and am not really sure what the outlet for that would be. I guess it would just be whistling and singing and roaring but that makes a lot of noise and would wake the neighbours, wouldn't it?

The worst part is at work I'm actually a radio operator, and as cool as Ace Combat mission style chatter sounds, you have to be a lot more measured and calm on the radio so people on the other end can actually understand, and what you actually say is so much less cool and is mostly just strings of letters and numbers you can't really have fun with, and you don't even get to really talk much very often since everything is so planned out these days. And even if I can't sing along or whistle properly, even a good "BREAK LEFT; I'LL ENGAGE" isn't even allowed on ARMA servers.

You know how sometimes in the morning you hear birds absolutely losing their shit, and then look out, and there it is chirping and squaking and screeching at absolutely nothing? It's just yelling because it's a bird. That's how I wanna be. Big ol' bird man yelling for fun because it's just what you do, you be LOUD
>>
Phyllis Drondersit - Sun, 17 Jan 2021 07:15:24 EST /rG1YTlt No.537786 Reply
>>537772
Plenty of places you’re allowed to be aloud.

As you mentioned music is one. Concerts and clubs wouldn’t even think you’re weird for roaring and whistling.

Sporting events, a sports bar, the gym (go at like 4 am if you wanna growl a bunch and not bother everyone)

Hiking trails. Sure people would look at you weird, but they’ll also probably avoid the lion possessed guy screaming off the cliff.

Sports parks. Hell you could bring a handheld tape recorder or something and go to a normal park and make a buncha noise. If anyone asked what you’re doing tell them you’re recording samples for your voice over work. They probably won’t ask though.
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Jenny Dublingfuck - Sun, 17 Jan 2021 07:40:53 EST nDnZ5cBx No.537787 Reply
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What's wrong with me. I should be doing something, but I never do. I postpone whatever is in my head, and instead read on the internet, or watch something, and now look at me. 3 years, jobless, not a lot of content to show for, and few friends. I am grateful for what I still have. A family, a few friends, a skill, internet, a roof, food. I have everything necessary to put myself in the world, and I don't. That day will never come unless I make it come, I know this. Time feels like its slipping through my fingers everyday, so do something now, but I never do. Instead, some non-existant sadness always freezes me up. I don't have the right to be sad yet, I'm still young, I still have an opportunity to change, unlike others. So why am I not taking action? What is this gripping feeling that's always stopping me? What the fuck is wrong with me.
>>
Edward Pimmermare - Sun, 17 Jan 2021 13:37:03 EST c9uUBZpd No.537793 Reply
>>537787
>So why am I not taking action?
Could be you need practice winning. Really just put yourself out there with anything. People are so afraid of criticism, look around - people here don't care what anyone thinks.
>>
Barnaby Pillyhall - Sun, 17 Jan 2021 21:57:11 EST jPF5MXWG No.537797 Reply
>>537787
probably lack of necessity. there's that saying about having to light a fire under your ass. You don't have a fire under your own ass. That's not a bad thing or a failing though, it's just that if you don't really need to be active, why do so? It's understandable that you aren't a rock star if there's no need to be.
>>
Barnaby Pillyhall - Mon, 18 Jan 2021 00:32:08 EST jPF5MXWG No.537805 Reply
>>537786
>music
>sports
being in a crowd that's already loud isn't the same, but fair enough. though even memevid crow flue aside, there aren't a lot of shows anymore other than really mainstream big concerts by big names
>hiking/parks/outside
I don't drive but maybe I'll do that, just have myself a silent rave style session in a park except not silent
>>
Fucking Fimbleford - Mon, 18 Jan 2021 07:44:42 EST adhhQ9m5 No.537809 Reply
>>537787
Friend of mine is approaching 40 and other than the age and time wasted, sounds exactly like you. That’s at least 20 years he’s wasted sitting at his TV in his parents spare room watching the days slip through his fingers.

What’s stopping you? In his case I’d say he wants his life to change but doesn’t want to change his life.

You’ve got to take action. Nothing is going to magically happen to you.
>>
Hannah Blatherville - Thu, 21 Jan 2021 22:44:30 EST jPF5MXWG No.537870 Reply
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My life has objectively been getting better and better over the past couple years and I've never been quite happy about it. Prideful or spiteful, maybe, but not genuinely happy. There's something genuinely missing. I don't think it's one of the typical things like a boyfriend or property or cheap drugs either. It's something more that I just can't 'get', I don't understand and can't even conceive of what it is.

And it's not eating away at me and making me explicitly unhappy, but life is just kinda ok, and that it's only kinda ok while everyone else seems to have so much more fun with it seems off and itself makes me unhappy.
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George Guttingway - Sat, 23 Jan 2021 00:03:19 EST jPF5MXWG No.537892 Reply
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I hate to use this thread as a stream-of-consciousness therapy chat but that seems to be what it's here for.

In basic I ran around a lot in the MOPP/CBRN gear after-hours and found a lot of comfort in general in heavy outfits, armor, and so on even afterward. Even working at a reserve division, wearing the mascot fursuit was a lot of fun and the only thing that made it suck is when I couldn't eat/drink enough to keep up my strength to wear it. (just the fursuit, at basic the meals tend to be not great but at least calorie and vitamin dense). Even today, doing fire exercises sucks but I do enjoy wearing bunker gear the air tank+mask pack when I can get a set that fits properly and have the time to adjust the bits that can be adjusted and am lucky enough to be attacking a space I can move through without getting snagged on stuff.

The local army-navy surplus store has firesuits and a wide variety of surplus and new tactical gear. I'm very tempted to buy a full set of bunker gear and a plate carrier to just go for walks or even a light jog in at night. Maybe a proper gas mask too. Something about wearing heavy full outfits and lots of gear in general is deeply soothing. I think that kind of thing sounds crazy but in what specific way is it crazy? Despite my being a degenerate furfaggot I know it's not a furfag thing because fursuits aren't even the best outfits to wear. Of the few I've had access to, I think I like flak jackets the best and with MOPP/CBRN gear a close second.
>>
George Guttingway - Sat, 23 Jan 2021 00:19:27 EST jPF5MXWG No.537893 Reply
>>537892
Actually if I could rank it,
>Flak Jacket + Weapons/ammo/etc > CBRN/MOPP Suit > Bunker Gear (firefighting suit+BA(Air Tank Pack) > Combat Gear > Fursuit > Heavy Leather/Suede Clothing > Formalwear > Modern Outdoors-y Hiking Stuff >>>>>> Military Uniforms >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> normal clothes

bonus for filling all the pockets with useful stuff, but I don't like backpacks or lifting/hauling in general. Last time I got arrested I had a great time up until then but turned out to be wearing my normal suede jacket and carrying a purse-like "messenger bag" but had a good 10-20kg of tools between the various pockets of my coat while carrying a pellet rifle in one hand and a small pizza in the other. Like, a full-size automatic wrench, two adjustible wrenches (8 and 6 in), notepads and stationery, a multi-tool, some allen keys, and assorted other pocket cruft. I had even detached the rifle's scope (a 4x CentrePoint, so a proper long telescopic sight) and that was in a pocket. I might have had a bobbin of synthetic loud-colored twine on me too. Oddly enough they let me keep everything but the rifle after issuing me a ticket.
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George Guttingway - Sat, 23 Jan 2021 03:17:27 EST jPF5MXWG No.537894 Reply
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I often think back, admittedly in a nerdy degenerate way, to a little speech in some tactics game I played a lot of.

>[long drawn-out speech about standing and fighting, not caring about the past, we're here and now [as disparate units(in that mission you have to juggle two forces with different turn order)] and have to pull ourselves together individually, and get together to fight as a proper unified force]
>[textual audio beat]

>Player Characte: ...My throat hurts.
>Support Character: "Well done, Commander. ...A bit crazed, but well done."
>Player Character: "Sorry. I got a bit carried away there. This would never have happened if [mentor] was still here..."
>Support Character: "Believe it or not, emotion has a place on the battlefield. But that time has passed. Your men are ready. Let's finish this."

When I look over my shitty posts, that's what I think. I know they're objectively bad posts but they're important to my own internal monologue to go external once in a while. It's not as fatal as units in a tactics video game, but still. "A bit crazed, but well done. [we're (I'm) ready to carry on now.]"

Though now that I think about it, I do have "men" now, and that's hard shit to deal with. But that's just administrative stuff and having to learn to take on a managerial role. That's a whole other thing and I could go on at length about that. But my point was that sometimes I have to talk to cope

Or actually to cope, fuck, I have subordinates now and I have no idea how to deal with that! Literally. I'm very used to taking on tasks by myself and thinking of how to do them without delegation. I'm a terrible trainer too. I'm too used to being the lowest Pvt. Prinny motherfucker thrown at problems, and now I have one of my own, and don't want to throw him. But it's busy enough that I can't really take time out to train him properly, and having him just shadow me isn't really useful. I only have one chevron myself, and got very used to people with blank epaulets or only one chevron being my fellows and trusting that they know what they're doing and can be largely left alone to do their work. Now I have some fresh-off-his-course OD under me I have to write performance reviews for. I had a hard enough time sending up my own "brag sheet" notes to be compiled. I feel like I've just been given a child I have to raise, all out of nowhere; I'm barely out of childhood myself. I don't want to ~by myself~ and scare him off of the organization, and the job we all have to do is complex enough I can't just give crash courses, on top of having my own shit to do that occupies most of the work day. And all that on top of being a horrid degenerate and not wanting to pass that on to the next generation. But here I am, Pfc. Prinny with a Pvt. Prinny to try to take care of.
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George Guttingway - Sat, 23 Jan 2021 03:43:10 EST jPF5MXWG No.537895 Reply
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Though the last time I got men assigned to me, it was in basic, and it was a shitshow. Even in routine stuff they'd never listen to me, and the one time I got a Fireteam™ only a couple of them followed me, the rest ran off, and the exercise ended before I could get us all out of the ditch I had us all stalk through for cover anyway and only linked back up with the platoon once they were half-way through the customary "we don't want to do return paperwork" (pretend) sawing down of trees with C7s. And (in exercise shit) even on my own I ruined hostage situations by just opening fire from the trees, got into blue-on-blue situations a few times, generally was just a horrid fireteam leader. I will never not blame my failures on lack of information about what other FOBs are around and blank-based-LARP meaning shot placement is ignored in favour of noise, but still, lesson learned.

I've gotten over a lot but in terms of military shit, I'm not officer or NCO material at all. I'm an NCM and joined as such, but I guess there's a reason for that beyond not having a college education. I am a very poor leader, even if I can do my own jobs well. About the only thing that separates me from the caricature of officers is that I'm pretty good at over-land navigation and a half-decent shot, but that's not so useful in the navy, especially in my actual trade which is basically a combination of secretary and sysadmin.

Anyway, I don't have much hope for training up this kid I got but he is a good one. He's obviously drunk the kool-aid but I feel sorry for him, having me as his boss, especially getting thrown to the class of ship we have. It's a boat, everyone included there's four people. I only got good at my job with a few years of curiosity and spite, I don't see this guy doing well with me as his boss and not having his own reasons to poke at things. Feels bad, man.
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Shit Turveybury - Sat, 23 Jan 2021 06:50:54 EST lXX4ePWn No.537897 Reply
>>537895
Who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows her?
>>
Charlotte Blatherway - Sun, 24 Jan 2021 21:58:23 EST jPF5MXWG No.537921 Reply
>>537897
Probably the fool; the fool who follows her often doesn't have any other choice.
Who's a bigger dumbass -- the ignorant pupil, or the incompetent teacher?
>>
Cyril Hongerfield - Mon, 25 Jan 2021 07:43:28 EST kZ3i2zTN No.537925 Reply
>>537921
>who's more foolish, the completely innocent fool with no responsibility, self-awareness, or ability to self-determine, or the malevolent, incompetent, villainous fool leading the charge?
Well, when you put it that way...
>>
Ebenezer Bugglegold - Tue, 26 Jan 2021 22:08:09 EST jPF5MXWG No.537950 Reply
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>>537925
IKR? Perhaps there is a reason I posted about it on /qq/ and highlighted it as an insecurity over and over
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Wesley Chadgehall - Wed, 27 Jan 2021 07:54:19 EST NV/IeJun No.537954 Reply
>>537950
>highlighted it as an insecurity over and over
So you could defend it...?
>>
Molly Genninglick - Wed, 27 Jan 2021 22:07:41 EST jPF5MXWG No.537961 Reply
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>>537954
nah.
see >>537892
> stream-of-consciousness therapy chat
I'm just saying it to vent, really. Not white girl validation venting, either, actual proper "I am going to talk through my problems just to hear them aloud(read them back?) in an exercise to at least identify my problems (so I can fix them later)." no different from taking a course and writing your own notes even though there's presentations online, because the act of writing helps commit stuff to memory.

In fact, after crying so hard about it being hard to have subordinates, I did try slightly harder to give my little pvt. prinny some more meaningful tasks, emailed him resources just to keep in his back pocket for the next time he gets told to do something similar, and while the past couple days have been slow, have tried to walk him through in a way that shows the intent of the task more than the individual steps. It's not easy to make up easy tasks for a new guy just because you cried on an imageboard, but I've hauled it in and tried to assign more meaningful stuff where possible over the last couple days, and have been emailing him the various refs I've found and templates I've made in a hope he finds it useful.

Though, back to your post,
>So you could defend it...?
Again, that wasn't the point.
This is something that's good /qq/ material though. I don't think people understand me very easily. And not in a Linkin Park CRAWWLINNNGGG way but that literally the things I say/write/etc do not properly convey the information I want it to, and even convey things I might explicitly want it to not convey or even convey the actual opposite of what I wanted. Why is it so hard to express myself? It's not like I don't use enough words. Am I too imprecise? Is writing at length just prone to confusing the longer it goes on? Are the things I want to express inherently alien? Does radon have a smell?
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Phoebe Seffingforth - Mon, 01 Feb 2021 18:46:38 EST jPF5MXWG No.538007 Reply
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I hate living with roommates for the simple reason that [/i]i cant cook[/i]

not that i am unskilled in cooking and am jealous, or have been told not to cook but really can over may, but that at normal eating-times, there's some boomer shitter taking up three goddamn burners of the range to make a basic one-dish meal for herself and it takes them like three fucking hours to make anything.

failing to cook for myself is just another thing to fail at and cry over and I recognize the link between eating well and feeling well. a real effect of vitamin D deficiency is literally "crying spells", and there's plenty of neurotrash answers to depression along the lines of "Well are you eating right?"

I could eat right, but instead of having the kitchen free to cook properly at normal meal times, I eat like a fucking CDDA character and have a dinner of cold sausage and bread (separate) or get some take-out .

I don;t blame my roommates for my mental state at all, but it's a pain in the ass that every time I'm like "I should get some fresh stuff and make a nice stew/slaw/stir fry/baked good/etc.]!" I am stopped, and that people around me who are even younger and poorer can have fun cooking not so much because they have the time to time as the place to cook
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Ernest Wugglened - Mon, 01 Feb 2021 19:51:59 EST ZBHTHmgD No.538010 Reply
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>>538007
Holy shit. I can relate to this so much. :(

I live with a bunch of zoomers and they don't clean up after themselves, and are always cooking gross shit on the burners. Or they're always in the kitchen.

I can't wait until I have my own place again. Fuck roommates.
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Nell Shittingbury - Tue, 02 Feb 2021 11:28:37 EST XSZZrjOH No.538017 Reply
>>538007

I just cook for my roommates. It's fine because mine can't cook or clean for shit, so I get to eat whatever the fuck I want and my kitchen is fucking spotless. I still hide my knives though. They have their own knives but for some reason if I ever leave mine out they always, consistently, fuck with mine and then store them incorrectly. Their knives are all bent and chipped and rusty and blunt as fuck.
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Hugh Bittingson - Tue, 02 Feb 2021 16:55:27 EST mWT2hDR5 No.538018 Reply
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>>538017
I eat really healthy usually, so my roommates wouldn't want to eat anything that I would cook anyway.

I can't wait to get my own place. I always think that it's better to be cheap and just get roommates, but I am wrong every single time. Never again after this is over. Only 5 more months on my lease.
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Basil Fuckingwell - Tue, 02 Feb 2021 17:13:42 EST CFCHXtMi No.538020 Reply
>>538018
They'll eat it. Just start throwing around random french words and they'll fucking eat it. Don't call it steamed vegetables, call it ratatoullie.
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Eliza Chollernet - Tue, 02 Feb 2021 22:38:39 EST jPF5MXWG No.538027 Reply
>>538020
>ratatouille
ruined forever by some smug pixar clay person. i prefer "mirepoix"
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helopme !tr.t4dJfuU - Wed, 03 Feb 2021 21:07:32 EST Ox6Tm5o2 No.538041 Reply
% does this work /%
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Jenny Worthinghood - Thu, 04 Feb 2021 22:18:30 EST jPF5MXWG No.538054 Reply
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it me >>537894
>fuck, I have subordinates now and I have no idea how to deal with that! Literally.

This kid has turned out to be shit.

I like to give new guys the benefit of the doubt, since the first step of getting good at things is sucking at things and all that, but we're a warship that is supposed to be being supplied with people who have at least completed basic and hopefully their first trades course. When I did mine, it was pushups whenever [literally fucking anything] and on my 3s we had to wear shined-up parade boots and berets with our otherwise normal NCDs

He's particularly young, but everyone else in the shack has talked shit about him with me, and he's gotten a couple lectures in my presence so far. After a little more, I'm at my limit with him too. He fucking sucks. This cunt doesn't even know better than to not lean over chairs and look down like "nigga when u gon stop talkin" when he's being lectured by a Chief from the Sea Training group, even after I specifically said something along the lines of "Treat it like it's basic all over again"

I know I am personally fucked in the head but at least it's performance anxiety and I can stand up straight when I'm being addressed by senior members of senior units

Even in routine utterly non-military office gopher type tasks you'd think no one can fuck up like sorting files or tallying up serial numbers, we gotta check his work. I asked him to just sort a pile of forms by which ones have been signed in a specific field and which ones were not. I got them back in pretty much a random order. I've had a few duty watches and a bunch of other stuff to do so I've been pretty hands-off, but I've heard he's been rude to OODs/SWKs and I don't even wanna know how shitty he's been at briefs I haven't also been at. (Though for one I did have to tell him to not make himself a snack as they were getting through the introduction of a brief)

I've tutored literal children who were more respectful and more capable!
What the fuck are they doing at BMQ/NFS these days?
And how do I fix it when I get their refuse?

Because military culture is weird, I feel like an unwilling parent. More than I need a useful subordinate, there is some need to whip this shitter into shape. To be honest, I was drinking tonight, and thinking of it, I want to sit this kid down and see what he's about and try to give him a proper speech on what's expected and that he's in the adult world now, but I don't know how to do it or even if I should do it
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Angus Bardwell - Thu, 04 Feb 2021 23:08:52 EST BXvMEtPQ No.538056 Reply
>>538054

I know the military is uber hierarchical, so the blame might more easily fall to you, but surely others realize that this dipshit isn't the type to change after a stern lecture. I mean in any reasonable organization I think that guy would be fired and it his supervisor wouldn't be blamed for his terrible work/conduct. I really don't think there's anything you can do if this person has been in the military for a while and still doesn't get it.

Fuck the troops
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Jenny Worthinghood - Fri, 05 Feb 2021 01:19:18 EST jPF5MXWG No.538060 Reply
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>>538056
>so the blame might more easily fall to you,
I think you misunderstand. I'm not being blamed for his being shit, other people in the section just acknowledged his shittiness before I did.

I'm not in any trouble. The trouble is from within, it's that I feel both like I'm failing this kid for being a poor trainer but also I'm frustrated that I've been given someone who is nowhere close to the standard I was at when I started out. But let me reiterate that I'm not in trouble or anything; I was trying to illustrate that the people above me were talking shit more freely and more of it than me. But not about me. About this lil' pvt. dood. (which is all 100% warranted so far, kid is a shit-ass zoomer)

>if this person has been in the military for a while and still doesn't get it.
I haven't asked too many personal questions but afaik he's regular force (as opposed to being a reservist) which means he's not been in for very long if he's still a private-equivalent and just got off his trades course.

Though that should mean he's freshly off of boarding school like environments where he's expected to be in tip-top shape despite commuting through snowstorms or tromping around in the bush. Wearing shiny parade boots and a well-formed beret with your work clothes, ironing razor-sharp creases in, that kinda thing. It's expected that new guys are, if anything, OVERLY formal and dressy but are utterly clueless. Without getting too much into it, this kid obviously lacks that. Dress and deportment are one thing, but there's a certain lack of caring and drive; like he's treating it like being in Cadets (the youth program) when at the end of the day, he's getting paid for his time. He's as clueless as any other OD/Sailor 3nd Class/Private, but even about simple things that they used to check for even at the recruiting centre, and doesn't have the benefit of the sharp professionalism they're supposed to instill at basic and on your first trade course.

For example, again, this kid was introduced to me as "a programmer" on his first day after his first meetings with the others before I met him. I joked that he's going to give me a run for my money as the local wannabe hacker. I've since seen that he didn't even know how to copy/paste without right-clicking and going through the context menu. When I put my application in, I put down what are essentially sea infantry, engineer, or radar operator (Bosn, MESO, or NCIOP) on my application as my top choices of trade, and drew the nerdy IT/signals/"information management" type trade instead because on my cover letter and CV I said I do light scripting and was in a robotics club. Meanwhile, this kid is here and can barely operate a computer. [/i]He had never even heard of Internet Explorer before. IE may be a laughable shitshow but it's not THAT old. (by contrast, the modern Microsoft internet browser only useful for downloading other browsers is MS Edge, which went gold only in 2015)

Though also now that I think about it, I may be taking it a bit personally; the kid is indeed shit and my coworkers and boss resolved to that before I did, but they did introduce him as programmer; in response he said something about just scripting in roblox and I figured it's actually fairly ideal. I don't discriminate on that front of nerding; I got my start in GMod through Expression2 shenanigans, and the best friends I've made have irl have invariably been similar "Building Game" nerds that emulate actual programming and engineering. Our trade is heading away from Master And Commander bullshit towards IT/IW too. It's an ideal start before SysAdmin crap that mostly shakes out to shell scripting to automate the boring bits and schmoozing to get administrative stuff pushed through. I saw a bit of myself in him and I guess I got let down that he's not so eager to learn and prove his worth (or even is just not so desperate) as I was when I first joined the fleet. It's especially frustrating that he's not good at the parts of his job that we can objectively say he should know based on the courses he is listed as passing. That he's so utterly incapable of doing basic gopher shit is just even worse. Kid doesn't even carry a pen. Forget the military, one of the first things my dad taught me was to always carry a pen, in case you need to take notes on something. On anything. Then at basic, it's however many push-ups for not producing a pen and pad when you have orders to take more complicated than "fix your collar".

I'm very tempted to painstakingly explain to him what a Prinny is, that he is one, and needs to appreciate as much.

A Prinny is a uselsss soul of some human sent to go be a penguin in hell, in the hope that they develop some skills and spirit and ascend to something better. Usually, they stay useless and become the vassals of their humanoid (if cruel) betters. Best case is eventually leaving hell and reincarnating somewhere else as a better thing, but many end up staying and either taking up a more powerful form or growing fond of the life and finding fulfillment in newfound worth.
In-game, they're middle-of-the-road units with poor stat growth, but they explode when thrown, so you can just throw them at a problem enemy to get that problem off your plate for the damage you'd have taken anyway. Very much throwaway units at first. But with nurturing, they can become hilariously powerful since they're not locked out of any skills, have access to versatile abilities, and seem to get help on attacks very easily (There's a group bonus free action attack mechanic mostly based on being adjacent to units they're similar to they've fought with before, but prinnies ignore unit type differences in those calculations and are generally likelier to trigger) but only once pretty high leveled. A very good metaphor for the unending struggle of man, y'know? Most of us start at the bottom as useless spirits not even good enough to go wandering, struggling like penguins in hell, and the solution is to strive and either make hell your heaven or git gud enough to get out and do better elsewhere.

Anyway, unlike those Pvt. Prinnies, we've thrown this new guy at simple problems, but still have to confirm our kills made that way, so to speak. Even with careful guidance and detailed instructions, he fucks up very simple tasks and doesn't seem to learn from mistakes or mentoring. He can't even draw or return keys (literal keys for literal locks on literal doors) without us hearing about him being rude to the Officer of the Day or saying he's turned them over to "Some Guy" without even providing a name (or whether or not it's even a fellow sailor!). He's abandoned secure spaces full of classified shit, even. I hate to be one of those BACK IN MY DAY types but the first thing they taught me even at basic was "You're responsible for a lot of controlled shit. Leave it unsupervised or unlocked and, believe it or not, JAIL.". The most common punishment at basic training aside from push-ups is having to carry your heavy-ass locker everywhere because you couldn't be trusted to keep it locked.

Worst yet, he doesn't seem to understand his position as being objectively and literally a low-ranking new member of the force who, if he can't prove some kind of worth, will be thrown at problems no one else wants to deal with, and is much more liable to get charged or even go to Edmonton if he fucks up hard enough.

I also want to ask him if he has any dumb basic stories like I did. Blue-on-blue incidents, fucking shit up on his own initiative, and what he took away from the experience. I know I'm a fucked up guy, but I can safely say I've grown from my fuck-ups. I wonder if this kid has had any fuck-ups of his own, and if he's so blaise and casual because he's just not initiated into this kind of thing well, if he took away the wrong lessons, or has just been too comfy in life and doesn't have the same crackhead energy people at my rank and above have.

...Fuck. I'm feeling it. I can only hope it goes this way if I have a nice supervised talk with him;
> ...My throat hurts.
>Well done, Seaman. ...A bit crazed, but well done.
>Sorry. I got a bit carried away there.
>Believe it or not, emotion has a place on the battlefield. Kid, were you listening? You need to feel it. Maybe not the same way he does, but at least as much as he does.

On a lighter note,
>Fuck the troops
Please ~ <3
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Jenny Worthinghood - Fri, 05 Feb 2021 01:26:29 EST jPF5MXWG No.538061 Reply
>>538060
ouch i forgot a closing italics tag. oh well fuck readability
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Jenny Drandlechare - Fri, 19 Feb 2021 22:24:36 EST jPF5MXWG No.538258 Reply
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I'm on leave now and I don't like it.

It's convenient to smoke and drink all I want on vacation, but I don't like being absent from work. There's so much to do and never any time to do it. If it were up to me I'd be able to go in at night and just do stuff and submit reports as the sun comes up. I only don't get stuff done during the day because I constantly get tagged for small stuff, and as a single-hook I have the ability but not responsibility or clearance to fuck around very hard.

my kingdom for a fucking test environment before trying to deploy. Literally. A kingdom for wont of a nail in the midst of a crusade. My own little world for a software sandbox before deploying to europe.

My farm plot for a fucking link runner
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Nathaniel Fodgehall - Sat, 20 Feb 2021 01:10:59 EST 2XVEGG21 No.538260 Reply
Sheesh, I've gotten so possessive and jealous. It's... not healthy. But the feeling will pass.
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Cedric Cedgebury - Tue, 23 Feb 2021 22:49:34 EST jPF5MXWG No.538276 Reply
I have a bad habit of stressing myself out when I'm idle and alone. I hate to be a shitty boomer but I need the structure of an 8-4 work day to keep bad thoughts out, even if at work I stress myself out too a bit. But at work it's different, at least I'm doing stuff.
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Fucking Brundershaw - Sun, 07 Mar 2021 03:26:29 EST ghLNjlqb No.538377 Reply
>>538258

You have been stallioned by a poisonous working culture. Your time off should be the most enjoyable time you have, not time spent fretting about whatever insignificant stuff you do 9-5.
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William Honeyhood - Sun, 07 Mar 2021 10:31:14 EST lHIfZTRL No.538386 Reply
>acts like a ditz when we're with our friends
>Is thoughtful and introspective when alone with her

Why is my grilfriend like this?
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William Sesslestudging - Sun, 07 Mar 2021 23:16:06 EST mttQWkrO No.538390 Reply
>>538386
I think it's largely because it makes you less vulnerable than if you're being genuine, same reason that some guys turn everything into a joke, she probably feels a lot more comfortable around just you
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Jarvis Brinkinway - Tue, 09 Mar 2021 10:27:28 EST 3HnkHqYj No.538394 Reply
>>538390
This. It's a coping mechanism designed to keep everybody at arm's length to prevent her from getting hurt. Everybody does it, the only difference is how they go about it.
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Jarvis Brinkinway - Tue, 09 Mar 2021 10:31:10 EST 3HnkHqYj No.538395 Reply
For instance, a lot of people describe and conceptualize things in a purposefully clinical, overly descriptive way (especially the more scientifically or philosophically minded) so they are understood or thought of in a kind of dead, sterile manner that isn't capable of impacting them emotionally on the level that it otherwise could.
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Graham Drinnerwell - Tue, 09 Mar 2021 22:15:10 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538403 Reply
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>>537894
>>538395
>A bit crazed, but good speech, commander.
My superiors have been giving me these kinds of speeches lately. Not good or bad or whatever, nor long, but I can see that same ""We need to refocus" but with their own brand of crazed-ness

There's that sense that it's a department full of people, aboard a ship full of people, in a force of people, who regularly need that kind of speech.

I don't want to do this anymore, not in this way.[ /i]

I want to go to the fifth floor, the mythical mental health department, and tell them that I have always thought that there's an angel responsible for giving bad jobs that are not completeable. I am literally being chased by demons. There is not enough time in the day to do what I have to do, let alone what I want to do that is value-adding. Sysyphean crap, but within the christian or catholic mythos. That's the navy. I won't say "I can't do this anymore" because every time I have I've gone on another sail. But this is not a feasible schedule.

And yet still, I have a fucking underling I hope to not scare away.

"A little crazed, but well done". What a fucking thing to live up to
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Graham Drinnerwell - Tue, 09 Mar 2021 23:49:09 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538404 Reply
I'm willing to chop off a pinky or ring finger like a fucking yakuza, I'm done. I don't like this anymore.
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Lydia Pipperwater - Wed, 10 Mar 2021 07:30:46 EST 68Z8PD/P No.538406 Reply
>>538403
>That's the navy.
And I'm often sympathetic of folks who get manipulated into doing horrible things to others and themselves. And then there's the military:
>I won't say "I can't do this anymore" because every time I have I've gone on another sail.
You deserve every minute of the despair you feel as a consequence of the obviously bad choices you made. Sorry.
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William Bardville - Wed, 10 Mar 2021 12:54:50 EST ggpAoqpj No.538408 Reply
>>538406
Damn, why such a passionate response to people in the military?
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Ernest Forrysterk - Wed, 10 Mar 2021 13:21:24 EST NqXwvarQ No.538409 Reply
>>538408
Many reasons. This time, I'll say that their behavior in foreign countries with all the rapes and violence gives us all a bad name, even as tourists, which I've experienced. Ask me again and I'll give a different answer.
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Ian Perrygold - Thu, 11 Mar 2021 21:47:57 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538413 Reply
>>538409
Bosnia or wherever else was a different time and a different place, but I'll make no excuses for that kind of thing; even in a peacetime navy, I can see how it happens, and how good people are forced out and how even the milquetoast are retained and poisoned to become those sorts of people.

I'm already a very bad person, but at least I keep my badness to home and try my best not to take it to work, and very regularly cry and sob at home, and obviously let it out online in bad ways. The type of person that can cope well with that sort of environment normally is the last type of person who should be sent to a warzone.

The old saying about politicians being the worst option to do politics applies so much more to the military. The type of person that can thrive in that kind of envrionment is the last person you want in that environment.
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Ian Perrygold - Thu, 11 Mar 2021 22:04:36 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538414 Reply
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Not today. One more day. Every day.
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Isabella Smalldock - Fri, 12 Mar 2021 00:03:10 EST ZFL+IFlK No.538416 Reply
I've felt so good and so bad at the same time, the past few days. Things are going great and I love everything that's been going on, but I'm so fatigued and even though I'm letting up on work a lot it doesn't seem to be helping. Shit's fucked, I need to rally before next week starts or I might fold.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 13:36:38 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538434 Reply
I woke up today and was already a little upset. I had a few of those hard swallow type sobs even before getting the booze out. Made some soup and that was fun (a big production, searing meat and caramelizing some leek and mushroom and all, deglazed my meat pan with some homemade fruit wine) and wasn't even hungry anymore by the time I was done. And now I'm drinking again, and sobbing more, and liking it. I don't like this anymore.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 14:28:44 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538435 Reply
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I'm just fuckin' mad all the time now. I hear those bong bongs, like BONG BONG BONG BONG alarm chines from up the harbour; it's the alarm chimes from all the major warships. I've been conditioned well. There's that immediate pang of "OH SHIT:; SOMETHING IS ON FIRE; TIME TO PUT ON THE FUCKING BUNKER GEAR ADN A T T A C K" but rea;lly, after that initlal pang, it's all resentment, like 'Why are you doing this to me?"

I like gaming, and like design, so from time to time I like to consider writng my own tabletop game or something. And there's something I've always wanted to implement, but don't know how. It's the 'crazed' state. Everyone is well trained, or at least has that sense of self-presevation. but then there's a sense of breaking. Not like some 40k "unit is broken" but like "individual is broken" and is now acding in total accordance with their training, but in a crazed way.

If you've ever played MGS4 there's a state Snake (the platyer character) can get into where he is fucking done. He's over. Shit is fucked. It's great. There's a meter that actually measures the character's mental state, and it rises and falls based on being in firefithts, how well he's eaten, and so on. But there's a point where it breaks. THemeter fills and begins to flash. It represents him losing his fucking shit. All shooting mechanigs are released. Stealth is over and he is visible to everyone. He can now shoot straight, but is roaring incoherently. There's mechanics for allies and stuff, but enemies or allies, they all avoid you and all target you. Snake has entered a state where he is Crazed. It's supposed to represent PTSD and I don't like comparing myself to it --I've never been to Bosnia, and I have never been to and don't plan on going to any warzone in Africa--, because I've never been to Bosnia, I've never had to deal with Houtis or Tutsis, but either way, all is lost, and madness has set in. As a player you can rail out with machine guns, and the normal meters and stats that play into CQC fail to apply, for better or worse. Any automatic weapon fire you do, the character roars like rambo. Don't quote me on this, but I think the normal CQC actions that are normally non-lethal can sometimes outright kill guys in that state. Even worse, it reminds me of times I've cut myself up in fits, and of times I've tried to lead people and no one listend to me. That's how I feel sometimes. And It's how I feel more and more.

>Good speech. A little crazed, but emotion has a place on the battlefield.

A little crazed and it's good. I was considering going to my coxswain and saying "I don't want to do this anymore. Take my pinky like some fucking rinky-dink yakuza. I brought my own cooking knife for it."

I want out. I hate this.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 14:31:53 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538436 Reply
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>>538435
Like I was reading in a book -- I can read! I'm not sthat fucking stupid!! --

>Proto-Therapist, during a routine checkup: "Do you think you belong here; that is, do you think staying here is helping you?"
>Patient, a now-famous writer: [breaks down crying instantly] "What's the use of answering? If I say no, you'll think I'm crazy and keep me here. If I say yes, you'll think I don't want to leave, and keep me here."
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 14:58:55 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538437 Reply
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It's that chime in my head.

>beep! beep! beep! Beep!
You're not doing so well. This is all beyond you. Some people care about this, but it's just the war economy and all that. You and yours don't make any money off this, and it's all just stuff that makes people less happy. Nothing here does anything for you. Disengage.

>BONG BONG BONG BONG
ENGAGE
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 15:31:57 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538438 Reply
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I miss the smell of my own blood. Not in the sense of losing it in combat; I just had a bad time once and slashed at myself plenty, and miss that feeling.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 16:41:52 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538439 Reply
I want to get into the group chat and go "I'm weak; I can't do this anymore."

But I know others are also just so close to that, and I can't give up now. Everyone is cracking, and I can't be that weak link.

When my parents were fightging all the time and I was so afriad all the time, I listened to old Ace Combat videos. i only got into playing it very late with AC6. Video games, yeah, yeah, but the writing and enthusiasm gave me hope. But it's not so good anymore.

>Our pilots are all afraid, saying that the Razgriz are here.
>What kind of an excuse is that? Tell them to hurry up and engage!

Hurry up and engage.

I'm finished. I can't bank and evade for much longer. My threat warning never stops going off. I can't get lazy with my flying; it's all a warzone. I can only bark FOX ONE, FOX TWO, FOX FOUR so many times. I cry several times a week. My kestrel is sunk and there is no new fleet. "It's probably a waste of time, but try requesting some support." Well, it has been proven to be a waste of time.


I'm that scared pilot. "HURRY UP AND ENGAGE" i'll be fucking killed.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 18:16:27 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538440 Reply
Hey! Chief Proulx! I don't feel so good,
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 19:22:12 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538441 Reply
Hey! Sea Training boys! I don't hate you, and in fact get along quite well with you. I know your work with us is important, but I do resent you for making me do all the same things all the time that obviously don't result in any added value. I know how to put on bunker gear and I know how to plug holes in bulkheads. But you really come here, expect me to set up comms circuits that are totally undocumented, and then get mad when I don't know small details off-hand? Fuck you.
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Shitting Bladgehack - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 19:31:52 EST S8bplLkT No.538442 Reply
>>538439
Stop worrying about doing things for others, do things for yourself. Suffering is relative, it's okay to be miserable and a wreck but at the same time you shouldn't just give up.

You're creating a narrative that justifies you continuing your doomed futile path. There is no shame in being where you are, some of us are set up to fail. There comes a point where you see how grim your position is and how shitty a hand you were dealt and at that point only you can save yourself. No one expects you to just shrug it off. You have a lot of work to do until you're happy but now you actually see the problem and admit it you can start thinking about how you can solve it.

Ironically trying to hang in to a futile situation is holding you back. Once I accepted my life had gone off the rails I stopped the impossible task of keeping it together and started rebuilding instead.

You can be dramatic and metaphorical all you want but it's not helping you. Cry. Mourn your dreams. Work out where what you want overlaps with what you can have and then think how to get there. Break it down into tiny steps you can actually take in one go and just focus on taking them. In time you'll find it's easy and you can expand your horizons a bit further.

At some point you need to get therapy to unpack and better cope with your traumatic childhood.
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Beatrice Turveyforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 19:46:53 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538443 Reply
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>>538442
True. I need to fucking VR already. My job is obviously deleterious to my mental health. I should at least transfer trades into something else. Sailing is only arguably ok and outside of that, all the alongside work is very Very VERY obviously making me even more crazy than I normally am.

I was thinking of transferring to the similar trade in the Air Force, if not quitting entirely and doing small business consultant stuff. If not just becoming a house painter or something.
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David Fimmerforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 20:04:13 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538445 Reply
actually, rather than the usual fatalist-but-soothing thoughts of suicide or cutting fingers off to leave, that's it. That's what I should tell my coxswain. Not that I'll gladly cut off a digit to leave, but that I don't like my job because if doesn't obviously generate happiness. Every other job I've had that I've been even a little proud of, that was it: I could end the day secure in the knowledge that whatever it was I did, even if I did it badly or if doing it was a bad thing, someone was made happy by it.

I don't get that in what I do now, and that's what I'll say. I don't like my job because no one's day is really made better by it. Or, if it is, it's in a long chain that doesn't really make anything. I was genuinely happy even as a min-wage dishwasher, just because it meant the cook had dishes, which meant he could serve places, which meant someone gets some pancakes on time. What I do now, skilled or not, patriotism or otherwise, doesn't really have that obvious line, and doesn't make me happy, because I don't see anyone else getting happy for it.
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David Fimmerforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 20:14:14 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538446 Reply
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And I know,
>Stop worrying about doing things for others, do things for yourself
I haven;t' missed the point. You have to do things for yourself. But I'm just that kind of guy. Maybe I'll miss a beat not giving money to beggars or buying drinks, but what I want to do is have a job that makes others happy. I'm actually kinda right-wing tbh, but I think it only works if usual work keeps money and goods moving. On that one point, I don't even need to drink the kool-aid, it courses through my veins. What work makes me happy is work that makes everyone else happy. If I'm at work and I end a day not having made some money or goods move, I feel bad. I can fap and game at home. It's all very cheap these days. But when I'm at work, making money, even if not a lot of money, it has to make other people able to gorge on poutine and invest in boozing and whoring. I do the same too. Humanity is the party species, and it makes me happy to not just party, but enable further partying.
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David Fimmerforth - Sun, 14 Mar 2021 20:30:30 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538447 Reply
In fact, when I first joined, I only didn't put "cook" on my Desired Trades bit because commercial cooking is indeed a horrid job, but after my first deployment, really did consider remustering to it because one of the cooks on my ship was formerly in my trade and remustered to cook and said it was probably the best decision he ever made in his life. We had a grand ol' time discussing High Speed Crypography before my boss drunkenly said he'd have me reprimanded for talking about that kind of thing with all the normies, even though I was just sharing fun stories of my teachers in Electrical Engineering before I dropped out. Oh, how that one stayed with me.
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Jenny Bunforth - Mon, 15 Mar 2021 04:29:01 EST 5V5rPYC3 No.538474 Reply
>>538446

Making diaper-fur porn is literally FOR other people to observe. Is the irony lost?
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David Fimmerforth - Mon, 15 Mar 2021 06:33:36 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538475 Reply
>>538474
I didn't draw that. Also it's just traditional native-style underwear called a fundoshi
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David Fimmerforth - Mon, 15 Mar 2021 19:57:44 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538484 Reply
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My coxswain wasn't in today, and it's looking like he's not supposed to be all week. Not being able to go the boss and be all "I QUIT!" really took the wind out of my sails today. Even the contractors coming in to fix shit remarked that I looked really tired.

I wanted to jump chain of command and complain directly to him because I like the people in my department and don't want to worry them with my impending quitting (and, quite selfishly, don't want to tell my fellow junior ranks about it and have them try to dissuade me) but maybe I should take it as a sign that I should bring it up to my department too, if not first.

I wanted to Just Quit and once all the paperwork is in order, THEN tell my immediate coworkers and start preparing turnovers and such secure in the knowledge that I'm already on my way out, or let the much higher ranked person handle disseminating the info however they feel is best, but alas.


>>538482
>I just don't understand why they need so many different venues to spout the exact same thing ad nauseum,
They hurt all the time, so they think "all the time" is the proper venue.

> they just come out of the woodwork whenever certain stimuli are posted
They are, to use a bad word, "Triggered"
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Eugene Hummlestudge - Tue, 16 Mar 2021 07:20:54 EST KwANWBLt No.538488 Reply
>>538482
People hurt for many reasons and they'll use whatever reason they think hurts the most to hurt others the most. It's not just politics, it's anything.
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Shit Foshtirk - Tue, 23 Mar 2021 17:48:28 EST DwTPEt6H No.538525 Reply
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I quit! or tried to and got sent to the farm upstate instead

i explained the situation to my boss, in brief, but tldr
>i want to quit. i have depressive cycles but this job is a real downer too; my mental health is too poor to COPE and instead i SEETHE
>ok. you no longer belong to this ship. take care of you bb
got posted to a do-nothing shore office to relax and do my release on my own time. i feel like a malingerer for not going on a sea training thing but its like the stories of people who go on meds and think "wow i feel great! guess it was nothing" before going off meds. but also my resolve to quit entirely is shaken; time to think has led me to realize itd be disasterous to my bottom line. time out of the fleet is already helping though. I never did want to join the navy though, it was just a stopgap job from the start that turned out really lucrative and high RoR. but I'm also stagnating and regressing into madness all the time.

at least at the shore office, I can relax and work on my resume. I may just transfer to a different trade or drop a few levels of service to weekend warrior status and make a real job my breadwinning one.
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Ian Murdstock - Wed, 24 Mar 2021 20:56:53 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538531 Reply
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Realistically, it's such a specific question that I don't think /qq/ can help, but I am loving my time out of the fleet. I'm still a fucking degenerate idiot living in filth, but what really should I do? I can't quit. The money is too good, and it is not at all the right time to leave. Even with covid boosting IT crap, it just means more competition and higher stakes for worse pay and bennies.

I've identified a few avenues and hate all of them:

>REMUSTER
I could just put in a memo and formally apply to go for a similar trade in the Air Force that, as far as I can see, is more telecomms trunking and general IT oriented rather than doing Soldier/Sailor/Aviator Shit.
BUT because I only have one hook, I'll take a pay cut, and it's better to transfer once you have two hooks. I have one hook. But I keep reading course loading messages and I keep not getting onto courses that I was fucking on and only got canceled because of covid. I was doing well, too. I need those courses to get promoted. It's not even like "if i get this cert it'll be impressive" but straight up an actual requirement to meet the next substantive rank. It's growing more and more obvious that my plan of getting the next rank and moving on from there is kiboshed hard, and was never really realistic anyway. I have been doing jobs far above my rank, though. I sign for fucking crypto keys. That's normally something actually above the seniormost person on the ship I left. I'm not the primary admin, but towards the end, it felt like people were going to me more often for IT stuff than anyone else. It's actually one of the few good things in my div notes that I'm proud of that I wrote and delivered a tl;dr lecture on PKI, and the powerpoint slide deck is supposedly still in use... albeit by a senior comms member who has, to say the least, not been making friends in the nest because of his shady ad-hoc methos, and is obviously in severe "posting slump" beyond that.

>RELEASE
I could still quit entirely. It'd, again, be fucking catastrophic to my finances, but I've been looking on Indeed and Monster and entry level IT support crap still exists, and pays about as I much make now, but with much worse benefits. I might not have tracked certs, but I do have demonstrable experience with Active Directory and VMWare. At least enough to babysit servers and start/stop them and SSH into things without faceplates, at least given a manual and command listing.(And enough understanding to fuck around with things that expect certain sorts of things that don't physically exist but can certainly be emulated)
But from reading shit like TheDailyWTF I know that even in the private sector, things are all well fucked up and will just make me super angry all the time because I'll know that there's better ways to do things but no support for it.

>RELOAD/RENEW/RESTORE
Keep on going, as I was, in my cycles of depression bolstered by alcohol abuse, newfound things to smoke and huff, knowing that every time I do so badly, things come to head, and just kinda... stop. I get back into the fleet for another gaggle of sails and other business, and carry on. I've got my share of charges. I've been threatened with release. And nothing has come of it. The trade I'm in is hard red; there are too few people to go around. Anyone at all who's still in is very valuable to the CF, and anyone with skill even more so. I do a little worse each time, but at least I haven't killed myself , right? Like the CAMH ads say, Not today; another day, every day.
I even told my boss when she asked me if I could sail, I said basically [i/"I know what's coming up and it's all firefighting and flood control shit. It's a kind of stress I can handle, and actually distracts me from the stuff that gets me so much further down. It's not wearing flak armor on the forecastle or kneeling down below in firefighting gear that makes me upset, it's the futility of the normal stuff that fucks me up at the end of the day."[/i] Maybe I'll find my calling and get renamed Raging Koi or something. Though what made her basically tell me I can't sail is that, too. She said something along the lines of "Anyone can do that, but you still have watches to stand, you have to do message traffic and maintain circuits, you have someone to train now, too. Anyone can fight a fire, but only you can do your job. It's okay to tell me you can't do your job in your state. " so I admitted I wasn't sure if I could right then, and so I got sent off to the farm.

>ABORT/RETRY/FAIL
lp0 is out of paper and Tray 2 is the roaring emptiness within my heart. the actual physical location of dev/null/ is where my feelings come from and the target of the symbolic link for where they go is the actual physical Bit Bucket. is it time to halt and catch fire? Just disconnect every cable? I could just start self-harming again
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Polly Daddlespear - Thu, 01 Apr 2021 23:25:58 EST PNr4zkF0 No.538579 Reply
I've realized recently that I project a lot when I talk to people trying to cheer them up. I have the bad habit of combing 4chan archives for my own old posts or just reminiscing over things I've said to people in person and get riled back up over them but it's always stuff like
>Read everything you can, and amass all the references that aren't behind paywalls or security clearances. If it's in black and white in an official book, you can cite it easily to get your way and no one but the Admiral himself can deny you.
>It's best to always try to document everything and share all that information, or at least leave it somewhere easy to get. You don't need thank-you notes to know you've done a good job and that someone made good use of your work.
>The wrath of man should be easier to brush off than the wrath of nature (or god or whatever). Disease can be treated and physics can be exploited; people fucking with you? Water off a duck's back.
>It's okay to stay late at work; after all, for every day we stay late, we got to go home early another time. For every weekend we work, we've had free days off.
>Suicide is an option, but always the worst option. It's the enemy's job to kill you; there's no sense doing their job for them for free.
I really want to believe these things but looking back on stuff it's getting harder to really believe this dumb shit. They're obviously all wrong.
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Hugh Bidgestone - Sun, 11 Apr 2021 19:36:44 EST mttQWkrO No.538650 Reply
>>538579
i do that with this site the funny part is i don't even have to go through archives, my posts from 6, 7 years ago on slower boards can still be found
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Reuben Geblingket - Sat, 01 May 2021 19:26:07 EST WI3xrl+o No.539078 Reply
>>518069
I recently met this girl through friends and we both agreed that we want to keep it casual. But after having coffee, she mentioned it again. And yet I can’t tell if she wants it casual or fwb. But during this whole time of not nothing, I started cutting and drinking heavily again. Over one chick go figure
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Walter Honeyford - Sat, 01 May 2021 19:48:31 EST g1AKjo/4 No.539079 Reply
>>539078
Well then its time to set some boundaries with her then. You're cutting because you want more or are confused?? If you dont have your needs met to the point that you're seriously damaging yourself and are unsafe then it's not a healthy interaction and you need to pull away or have another talk with her about what you want or need.
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James Crunnercherk - Sat, 01 May 2021 21:12:39 EST WI3xrl+o No.539084 Reply
>>539079
Confusion is the most part, mostly because we had very intimate conversation/moments and then a day later, she would feel a different way. And I I totally get she has her own thing problems in life, but it’s just a moment don’t build me up to knock me down
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Clara Gobberfit - Mon, 03 May 2021 00:17:39 EST PNr4zkF0 No.539090 Reply
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>>539084
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-mT44AqPik
I'm not even 40, just nearing 30.

I don't like the job I have, and as a kid had different ambitions. As a kid my #2 job goal was to be an engineer just like Dilbert.
I was a picky eater but liked to bake, and as I expanded my palate it was in going to indian restaurants and shit.

Once you're past 12 or so, can you really shift industries? I can snarl all I like and fantasize about having a nodachi, but I like cooking and baking. I've worked with computers for so long that it's all I know, but I just want to make sweets. The only hobby thing I've done lately that I've felt real pride in is baking some shitty bread and making a couple buckets of prison wine. That doesn't make money though. And I can't get a job fucikng about with food without a red seal. Even wtth a red seal, I'd make less than pretending to be an infosec expert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo28ZfVEca8
>People who survive for a long time on the battlefield start to think they're invincible.
I've eaten out of trash cans before and slept in stairwells before. I don't want to do that ever again and don't want to be proud of it. I've cut myself up and I've slept in the field. I've not been to afghanistan, though. I'd never take that away from them. I had a lot of my own problems and worked through them. I still feel sad all the time though. I've hung out with dudes who have been to afghanistan. Shit's fucked. I would never want to have the experiences they had.

But it's like a real dogfight. What do you have? 800 rounds? Four missiles? Fuck you, air force babby. Enjoy your all expenses paid hotel room, and never complain. It's easy to deplete your resources, even flying defensively. Even not shooting, do you really care? Does anyone? I want to disengage and do something that isn't fighting. My life, as it is, is very easy. But it's not what I want. There's something obviously missing.
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Wesley Bindernen - Sat, 08 May 2021 06:46:56 EST JjN18e9I No.539120 Reply
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>My experiences with a community starts turning sour
>Tried to leave twice, guy starts pleading me to return every time
>I return for his sake, proceed to get ignored
>Fuck off a third time, someone else was trying to get me back
>Their attempt turns into a sour experience for me as they pretty much make the whole thing about themselves
You know, as liberating and cleansing as burning proverbial bridges is...My mind's starting to look like a scene from an apocalypse movie. I love how people are now framing me as some kind of villain when they were the ones holding some fucked up value to me. If I meant so much to them they should've tried harder, but no. They just wanted me to provide entertainment for them.
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John Bunwill - Mon, 17 May 2021 13:28:48 EST JjN18e9I No.539180 Reply
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>>539169
Thanks, I just had to vent that little bit of frustration. As awful as 2020 was, it's also an awakening to the fact I need to clean out a lot of things that don't help me at best and hinder me at worst. Got to admit I like the increased space and dropped non-priorities.
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Graham Seddletug - Tue, 01 Jun 2021 10:26:08 EST ZFL+IFlK No.539314 Reply
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Feeling a lil bit of bad vibes right now. Last night, some girl I was seeing a year ago messaged me out the blue talking about how she's been reflecting, and that she's sorry for ghosting me last spring. Same night, I go to this event with my buddies and this girl that I've been seeing very recently who's been garbage at communicating for the past month or so is there, had no clue she'd be there, and she didn't even talk to me. Later that night she sends a really excuse-heavy text and sort of leaves it at that. Basically she's following the same trajectory that this other girl from a year ago went down before just not talking to me entirely. Having this happen back to back got me really in my head, thinking about the shitty cyclical life I seem to be living when it comes to romance. I really wish it was more commonplace for chicks to just communicate when they don't want to see someone anymore, I'd be much less blown if there was literally any sense of real closure to what was a pretty nice little chapter of life, up until the lame ending.
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Clara Clomblehod - Fri, 04 Jun 2021 09:36:39 EST g7JpiJpo No.539356 Reply
Suicide is the solution for you.
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Denver - Sat, 26 Jun 2021 08:17:18 EST u+zsQSBq No.539824 Reply
So, I noticed how most of your comments are personal issues at work. You know what guys perhaps I could chime in and steer the negative energy a little. Here are some things that I learned in the past, which I would now like to share with you. First, regardless of how hard you try to keep your personal and professional lives separate, the two will eventually collide. Learn how to prevent personal difficulties from interfering with your job and career. Second is about managing the anger (if there’s any). Others control their rage and deal with it in a rational and calm manner. Obviously, the latter is a far more appropriate attitude, especially in a business context. Third is learning to overcome your shyness. Career progress might be hampered by shyness. It might make it difficult for you to speak out at work, ask for a raise or promotion, or network. Many people, fortunately, may overcome their shyness and go on to have a successful career.
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Beatrice Blackwill - Mon, 05 Jul 2021 16:57:08 EST zGP0gtaY No.539927 Reply
I suffer from OCD. I believe I was diagnosed with it at an early age along with Asperger’s/enthusiasm, but it rarely is ever talked about and get overshadowed by the latter. I have intrusive thoughts about various things, become paranoid that I actually did things that I never did, always fear loosing control and doing bad things, and having to mentally check my thoughts as a result. For the longest time, when I experienced all of this, I had no idea what was happening and I felt powerless and alone. It felt as if I was the only person experiencing all of it. Always thought OCD was a hand-washing thing until I read up on what it truly is. I still suffer from it, but now I at least can understand it better. It still makes life hell to live, and I’m now in a relationship with someone and I always fear I will hurt them or betray them when they mean the world to me. At work, it causes anxiety when in a social setting. I have never written about all of this in great length until now. I hope at the very least someone understands what I feel.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Archie Fublingbedge - Sat, 17 Jul 2021 13:38:08 EST ibEbm3PZ No.539992 Reply
Not really looking for advice, just kinda venting cuz I feel a little disappointed at my mom's behavior.

So I was talking to my youngest sister who still lives with my mom. My mom's been going though a lot with getting her parents into assisted living lately and she's still reeling from a really nasty divorce a couple of years back, so she's not in the best of moods. But she said something really hurtful to my sister and it kinda miffed me as well.

She basically, for all intents and purposes, despaired why her children couldn't be what I guess the internet called "normies." I think it's kinda hypocritical because when she was in high school and college she was part of the hardcore punk scene, so she should at least understand the appeal of countercultures of any type.

All 3 of her kids are into anime/manga, video games (well I'm not into video games but my siblings are), and we all went into careers such as academia, art/sculpture, and computer programming. All three of our musical tastes are stuff like gothic rock, darkwave, synthpop, industrial, EBM, black metal, etc. Back when we three were really into clubbing, we always went to either goth clubs or big warehouse raves. A lot of our youth was also spent enjoying anime and geek conventions, and I'll never regret those wonderful memories. 2 out of 3 of us also got into the devil's lettuce (which our mother herself smoked before she got married). 2 out of 3 of us converted to unconventional religions (even though Mom is an atheist).

It's just super weird that suddenly, after all these years, she's having this crazy meltdown that none of her children dress in khaki slacks and polos or sundresses, none of us went into finance and accounting, we don't dig Dave Matthews Band and Ed Sheeran, and don't have "normal" hobbies like sports and scrapbooking. I didn't turn out to be the white collar office worker family guy and my sisters didn't turn out to be "wine moms" and she's acting like she's failed as a mother because of this, when this has yet to have ever been an issue.

All 3 of us kids ended up being successful in our careers. I've had my fair share of steady girlfriends over the years. I mean hell, I got a professorship overseas at a major university in East Asia. I've won multiple accolades and I'm a published author in my academic field. Yet because I'm sitting here in a Bauhaus shirt and have anime playing in the background while I decompress on a Saturday night, she's failed as a parent.

Hopefully this will be a passing thing and she's just lashing out due to the stress of the past couple of years, but it seriously irks me that my ride-or-die mom is suddenly so heartbroken that I'm not Chad Breadwinner living in a 2-story suburban house back in the States with 3 kids and a "normal" job and my sisters aren't housewives for Chad Breadwinners of their own.
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Cyril Chunderville - Tue, 20 Jul 2021 01:07:29 EST GAF6UHdi No.540020 Reply
>>539824
No one asked for advice on how to be a corporate drone like you.
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Archie Crasslechat - Mon, 26 Jul 2021 11:00:44 EST GSlwD6lB No.540044 Reply
>>539992
You aint looking for advice, so I aint offering but it does sound like your mother is pining for a grandchild. This is a genuine thing women do at that age, obviously not all of them.

She wanting you to be "normal" is just a biproduct of that. The whole background with her divorce, her parents, she's probably starting to feel old.

Obviously the solution here is to dump your load into a girl / get your slit filled by a guy to make your mom feel better. jk
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Shit Huckledale - Mon, 30 Aug 2021 20:29:24 EST E4VphPeH No.540373 Reply
>>540020
And no one asked you to be a negative little dickweed but here we are.
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Samuel Bluddleforth - Fri, 03 Sep 2021 22:55:12 EST 3R+P9fpa No.540408 Reply
She's on a group call with all her friends right now. Ah, I miss doing that...
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Fanny Begglestedge - Thu, 16 Sep 2021 08:49:34 EST d6LcH97b No.540490 Reply
Just kinda venting, don't want to start a full new thread.

Recently became official with my girlfriend. She's Asian, I'm White. Both her parents and my parents like one another.

My maternal grandparents are furious though. They have gone no contact with me because "if he's gonna date one of them chinks he's dead to us." They say The Bible forbids interracial marriage and that we're making a mockery of God's plan by me dating an ugly subhuman with deformed eyes. They're harassing my mom saying she should've raised me better into being a better Christian. My mom is now crying because she says my relationship with my girlfriend is causing a major rift between her and her parents, who don't have much longer in this world. My grandfather even mocked my mom last time she saw him by making slanty eyes and saying "HOW DOING DUMB GRANDSON AND UGLY CHING-CHONG GIRL? WHY YOU [my mom] BAD DAUGHTER AND LET SON KISSY CHING-CHONG?" in a fake Chinese accent.

It sucks because now I no longer have a relationship with my grandparents when they're probably only a few years away from passing away, and now my mom's mad at me because she thinks I'm being selfish and that I'm the one who is bringing their wrath upon her.

I feel more pissed my mom is taking this racist bullshit lying down and treating me like I'm "tearing the family apart" instead of standing up to my grandparents' racism.
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Emma Basslefield - Thu, 16 Sep 2021 20:49:17 EST eKn66B7n No.540492 Reply
>>540490
Yeah I would cut contact with all of them, mother included, until the grandparents are gone. Never let your mother forget that she sided with racist assholes over the happiness of her own child. That is fucked up.
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Molly Worthingforth - Fri, 17 Sep 2021 11:11:42 EST hBvvOmbA No.540493 Reply
>>518069
I can't afford rent/living anymore. Before the pandemic started my landlord raised rent and pretty much the cost of living all together has gone up. Throughout the pandemic my time was cut but i still worked and am still working. I make a decent living(atleast i thought) and cant get any govt help, which i wouldnt want anyway. I was offered a place to stay via my mom and step father but tbh i know it was reluctant and i personally cannot trust them to not change their mind once ive given up everything i have. In fact ive been playing catchup ever since they kicked me out once i got a job. I have a place at my job that i can stay some nights but i cant do it all the time, especially weekends. I have a car that i can stay in but the only problem is i have a degenerated disc in my spine and sleeping wrong can fuck up my whole body to the point i cant move. On top of this i have maxed out my credit card paying bills and such so i have that bill to pay and will most likely need to do something about my degenerated spine eventually. I need like 3-5 years to be able to go back to living comfortably. I really just need advice and a way to keep myself sane when not at work. I can go to a gym to kill time and become healthier. I can study and get a better position in my job. Any words of encouragement will help. Im 37 and all my friends are married with kids and a home. We all went to the same schools and i actually had my job before any of them. The only difference is ive always been on my own while they had help from family. I dont understand a lot of things in my life and why ive been treated so poorly by the people closest to me. I need to find a way out and i have to do it on my own. Im at a point where im not afraid of dying and almost welcome it but i am afraid of getting old and becoming disable/incapable of doing things on my own. When my injury first happened i couldnt walk for a month and i had no one. I would stare at my celing losing my mind and was the only time i was truly suicidal. Eventually i was able to get back to work but i was moving like an 80 year old. Im better now but it can change quickly and i cant go through it again. Any advice and like minded stories would help.
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Rebecca Sullerlug - Sat, 18 Sep 2021 00:41:44 EST bAvlNVAz No.540501 Reply
>>540493
Are there any cheaper alternatives near by? I know it's not ideal, but you can sometimes find someone renting out a room in a shared living space. At least it will give you a place to sleep properly without hurting your back more. Also not sure what kind of car you have, but if you have a sedan, look into getting an inflatable car mattress off of Amazon or something if you really need to sleep in your car.

Exercise sounds like a good idea. Perhaps look into exercises that won't further hurt your spine, and will build up the muscle around it. You sound like you have some really great ideas on improving yourself.

I definitely relate to the whole being in your 30s and feeling like you're playing catch up, or people treating you poorly. I'm also in my 30s and a lot of my friends don't talk to me as much because I can't really afford to constantly go out for dinner or drinks. They also all have very supportive family members. It feels a bit alienating sometimes, but just know you're not alone. If you've made it this far without any help, you'll keep going. Good luck.
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Nell Dopperhot - Sat, 18 Sep 2021 09:58:12 EST 563HS33B No.540505 Reply
>>540501
I would have to get a roommate but everywhere ive looked is more expensive than what i have and im waiting for my landlord to tell me she needs to raise rent again.
Last time i had a roommate he moved out mid contract and left me with the bill. So im kinda hesitant to have to rely on another person. I have a dodge charger and im way too big to sleep in it in my condition. Hell i can barely sleep on a bed as is. I literally sleep with ice bags all over my body just to get a couple hours of sleep. But youre right ive pulled myself out before i can do it again. Im just worried now that im getting older and im injury prone that eventually everythings going to come crashing down. I came home from work last night and found i had a flat tire. Theyve been working on the roads near me so im assuming that's the cause. Thats money i dont have so my car will be useless to me until i can manage some cash to get a new tire. Luckily i take public transportation to work and can walk to get food and etc. I dont want to sound like sour grapes because a lot of it is my fault. I was reckless and bad with money in my 20s. Partying and what not. So im not trying to blame the world for my.problems i hope i dont come off as that person. I still have my morals and smile so im not completely gone yet. I just never thought all this could happen so soon... especially my injury. I need to do better and sacrifice a lot.
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Sassafras Dingletex - Sat, 18 Sep 2021 21:51:38 EST 8+54qP+f No.540508 Reply
I need money.... I feel trapped. I work for shit. No car. Debts galore. Whiiiine
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Hamilton Sellerwack - Wed, 29 Sep 2021 03:58:52 EST EpZKT5Yy No.540723 Reply
>Bad history with my brother
>Manage to fix our relationship
>All good for a while
>Bad habit starting to resurface
>Have to hammer them down otherwise it would get out of hand again

People dont really change, do they?
User is currently banned from all boards
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Nicholas Hessleshaw - Fri, 15 Oct 2021 11:04:50 EST 2OEDu/2i No.540925 Reply
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I lost my grandma, dog AND job this year, also got deeper into painkillers.
Aw shit.
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Samuel Bobbleham - Sun, 17 Oct 2021 13:19:11 EST TUNoVbqk No.540946 Reply
My gf’s ADHD is really bad and it’s making me resent her. I’ll clean the whole house and it’ll look like a teenage girl’s bedroom again within a matter of days. She’ll interrupt me doing work or chores to get me to hold our baby because she needs the bathroom, then 30 minutes later I’ll check on her to find she’s been sat there playing phone games on the toilet.
Do I get her to take adderall or something?
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Fucking Porringspear - Tue, 19 Oct 2021 03:20:33 EST cDm1Fn3I No.540953 Reply
>>540946
I kinda feel this in terms of a girlfriend with absolutely no attention span (unless it's related to her job).

My girlfriend has schizophrenia, so her mind is quite chaotic. She will stop in the middle of sex to go study or write a poem or to make a grocery list. Anytime we try to watch a TV show or movie she'll get up after 15 minutes to go for a walk, write something, or clean house (even if it's already clean).
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Apple Jack - Sat, 23 Oct 2021 01:50:44 EST ApD5b+Tp No.540968 Reply
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>>540953
This one dumb girl i’m into has an even dumber brother and if I don’t protect them and shit they’ll both have their lives handed to them. Meanwhile my people plus the people I’m actually into are probably dealing with the same shit but don’t talk about it. I hate having to pretend that i’m some loser when I’ve had it made for years now I put in work no matter what
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Betsy Hirringkat - Wed, 03 Nov 2021 20:51:21 EST WmWcDpYP No.541042 Reply
I hate my fucking job so much, not just because no one appreciates me for what I do (even if it is critically important) but because it's a fucking job and all the stuff that goes with it. I hate that I have productivity monitoring software on my work laptop, that we have security cameras in all the offices, that my boss's office is in perfect position for her to catch me goofing off on my phone or on the web. It's not just that I feel unappreciated, I just hate working and this idea that I'm expected to work. I don't value this company at all and just see it as a big fat sack of cash for me to subtly plunder with fudged time cards. I hate this so much and I hate the fact that I'm trapped here because my employment is the only thing stopping my BF and I from being unable to make rent or get groceries.

I just want to drop out of this shitty fucking rat race and enjoy this nice apartment with the man I love and actually work on personal projects that I give a shit about on my own time

I also hate that I'm sober right now, that I missed a concert because I wanted to save money, that I can't just steal a car and crash it into my boss's house IDK I just hate everything right now
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Betsy Hirringkat - Wed, 03 Nov 2021 21:07:25 EST WmWcDpYP No.541043 Reply
I think I might be having a manic episode lol
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Hamilton Blullyfack - Fri, 12 Nov 2021 22:45:54 EST caaKn89K No.541113 Reply
>>541043

How you feel is normal when you're at the ground floor of late-stage capitalism.
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Molly Closhwater - Thu, 18 Nov 2021 16:49:37 EST Rs8NSr0i No.541183 Reply
>>541113
Yeah, this is basically my current mindset rn- I'm not bipolar, I'm just stuck in a shitty job.
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Ebenezer Bomblewune - Fri, 19 Nov 2021 13:20:35 EST QBYxypxk No.541201 Reply
>>541113
>implying billionaire technocrats don't own both leftoid and righterino positions, and then work together to rape the future forever
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David Fuffingbod - Fri, 19 Nov 2021 21:30:06 EST WmWcDpYP No.541204 Reply
>>541201
>when you don't know how politics work
please read a book for once in your life
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Grace Daniels - Thu, 09 Dec 2021 05:18:36 EST euwwoDwe No.541460 Reply
>>518069
I think my husband has a mistress. Recently, he makes me less happy, he is always busy. I don’t want to ask him directly, I’m not entirely sure if my husband is cheating on me. Someone knows how I can follow his correspondence?
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Grace Daniels - Thu, 09 Dec 2021 05:19:36 EST euwwoDwe No.541461 Reply
I think my husband has a mistress. Recently, he makes me less happy, he is always busy. I don’t want to ask him directly, I’m not entirely sure if my husband is cheating on me. Someone knows how I can follow his correspondence?
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Grace Daniels - Thu, 09 Dec 2021 10:11:27 EST euwwoDwe No.541465 Reply
I think my husband has a mistress. Recently, he makes me less happy, he is always busy. I don’t want to ask him directly, I’m not entirely sure if my husband is cheating on me. Someone knows how I can follow his correspondence?
>>518069
>>518069
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Fucking Sinningtat - Sat, 11 Dec 2021 15:02:24 EST uWHdbhs0 No.541521 Reply
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>>518069
Pro black militant roommate breaks in to my room when I'm gone and does this. This is brand new only used it less than four time.

1/2
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Grace Daniels - Sun, 12 Dec 2021 04:03:23 EST euwwoDwe No.541531 Reply
I think my husband has a mistress. Recently, he makes me less happy, he is always busy. I don’t want to ask him directly, I’m not entirely sure if my husband is cheating on me. Someone knows how I can follow his correspondence?
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Doris Chagglefield - Sun, 12 Dec 2021 08:06:21 EST NqJCZDGq No.541534 Reply
>>541465
Follow his correspondence? I don't really know what the correct response is in a situation like this, but trying to sneak/snoop around behind his back and intentionally concealing it so you can check up on him and what he's doing is a major violation of personal boundaries and trust.

If he isn't cheating, not only are you guilty of doing something that underhanded, but you're going to feel like shit because you doubted him when he was just stressed or having something build up because work or some other shit... because he would legitimately have the right to be quite upset with you over it.

Moreover, even if he IS cheating, going about the problem in such an antisocial and creepy way is fundamentally unhealthy. No matter the reality of whether or not he has a mistress, it is promoting unhealthy behavior, thoughts, beliefs, and attitude/outlook. For your own sake, and for the sake of all your future relationships with any and all people (I mean relationships of any kind, be it family, children, coworkers, etc.) and your own mental stability, you should refrain from methods that rely on subversion and subterfuge. Engaging in that kind of behavior is damaging to your own mental health as much as it is potentially damaging to your relationships with others.
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Ebenezer Grandfoot - Sun, 12 Dec 2021 09:12:30 EST ONQkljAz No.541535 Reply
>>541531
Well if you have to ask..... he might have a bit on the side
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Nathaniel Hommerlidge - Mon, 13 Dec 2021 02:03:12 EST W0mq6o6P No.541541 Reply
>>518069
Im very social awkard i have screwed every human relationship i had because of my anger attacks and anxiety im i dont know what to do
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Wesley Gaddlepodge - Sun, 26 Dec 2021 21:01:11 EST GfQNazZf No.541653 Reply
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This person who wanted me to play in their band was super unprofessional with me for months, wanted me to learn music without ever specifying rehearsal dates or future gigs, and kept trying to move the arbitrary deadline for learning the music earlier despite me saying exactly when I could learn the music by at the start of our correspondence. Things went absolutely nowhere, but they still had the balls to get pissed with me when, shockingly enough, I finally told them today that I couldn't commit to whatever the fuck they were doing. The amount of indignation that they threw at me has left me seriously tilted so here I am QQing about it.

My grandpa has stage IV cancer and he only told the family a few weeks ago. Me and a friend got shot at a week or so after I found that out. We got out okay, three other people were fatally hit. I'm going into my last semester of grad school, I've got 6 or 7 months total left living in this fucking backwater city and then I'm moving to Chiraq. I feel like my head's been doused with ice water. Life is painfully, horribly short and I just don't have any more fucks to give on stupid unprofessional shit like this. My first priority from here on out is self-preservation and supporting/playing with people I actually give a shit about. Scrubs like this chucklefuck don't make that list. Sitting here venting on a keyboard has calmed me down already, but I was genuinely offended that this asshole had the nerve to be offended by the thought that I didn't want to waste any more of my time or energy on them
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le Bananier - Fri, 07 Jan 2022 21:59:22 EST UH2AriB/ No.541729 Reply
You know, I have no fucking clue if this is the proper place to vent, but, fuck it, anywhere else I've tried, I've failed.

I'm just a ball of misery with legs, whatever I touch, I turn into a flaming pile of shit, I destroy everything, every time. No one has ever loved me, and if they did, theyll regret it forever.

At some point, I guess that for god knows what reason, I felt like a woman. Maybe, I thought that it'd be this magic potion that I took, and suddenly, all of my life, would be so amazing. I was wrong, it's... riguhly the same.

Fit in with the girls? as if. I'm still a raging misogynist. I mean not like an abusive mother and every female ever treating me like shit would help. And now their fake kindness stings. I cannot trust you when you lie to me.

Fit in with the boys? you know, the funny part about that is my brain is broken. I keep being told by smarter people than me that I should be friends with all the wonderful men in my life.

You know what I think? I think that I will keep pressing their buttons. I will find every single emotional vulnerability they have and use it to fuck them.

I am unable to form bonds unless I fuck a person. Even then..... well... to put things into perspective I have a boyfriend, I still try to put everyone around me in a straitjacket.

You know, the time i showed up to work extremely late and high on xanax was hardly my worst mistake.

My worst mistake is that I want to fuck my boss, and you know what, even if I told him so, and gave an explanation to him (he's absolutely too good for me) and told him I cannot promise to stop.... well, guess what, I smell an attraction, behind all his layers of protective bullshit, I do. How can a wolf stop when it smells blood?

And you know what, he has a small kid, and a wife.

This is, indeed, a multifaceted fuck up. It is a fuck up because I'm cheating, it is a fuck up because, no matter how fucking amazing a man he is, this is risking my job. It is a fuck up because I want to ruin a family just because I want to fuck a DILF.

I want to attribute my behavior to insecurity over having a cock. I'm not sure that's even 1% of what causes me to do this.

I don't even know how to continue. Thanks for not reading this. It was still nice to type it out.
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Basil Worthinglock - Sun, 16 Jan 2022 11:47:17 EST TUNoVbqk No.541813 Reply
Gf and I were supposed to go to our middle-aged neighbours house together last night for a drink, we’d discussed that we’d stay for about 2 hours maximum since we we have an 8 month old and we’d have to take him home for bed. Just as we were getting ready to leave our baby got really upset and tired looking so I said I’d just put him to sleep and she could go alone. I assumed she’d stick to the 2 hour thing but she was there all night, really unresponsive to my messages and missed my calls. Eventually I called it a night and woke up around 8:30 am still alone. I went and picked up the baby to go fix his breakfast then walked past the bathroom where she was sat on the toilet completely drunk out of her mind. She’s now been in bed all day only leaving periodically to throw up.

This in particular is really out of character for her as she doesn’t really like drinking. It’s totally irresponsible especially since our baby is at an age where he’s developing his attachment to her and kept waking up crying