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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

people are not really that terrific and it makes me want to die

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- Fri, 16 Aug 2019 20:01:57 EST LiC8iReQ No.531062
File: 1566000117834.jpg -(48175B / 47.05KB, 720x474) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. people are not really that terrific and it makes me want to die
I have a upper-middle class upbringing, great parents, I am 6'3'' with no medical problems and am physically moderately attractive. I'm a creative person with respect to drawing and writing, and I enjoy quality cinema and am an intellectual enough of a dude to process the meaning behind setpieces and character actions in a film.

Does anyone have these qualities and just... wants to die for some odd reason?

For me there are two contributing factors:
>A) In highschool I fell in love with a woman who I thought was particularly interesting and she pretty much called me a creep and told me to get fucked when I told her. Though I admit to having her cross my mind every 10 minutes I maintain that I am not a creep as I am a pacifist who absolutely wouldn't force my will upon anyone and know very well to keep to myself.

>B) I have absolutely no future. None. I have a prepaid college fund that I am not going to do anything with. The shortest explanation I can come up with is that I do not work well in an authoritarian setting--- me paying to do non-creative writing for someone to grade me for is some seriously absurd shit. Non-creative writing is in itself an oxymoron as writing is an art.

I've been not wanting to really live for the above reasons. Romantic love that is not inspired by economic trade (basically goldigging) is a lie, and winners in this broken psudo-capitalist society being decided by merit are a lie.

I don't know if I am asking for advice, because the advice that I get is that I am every single creep who walked this Earth for still being beat up towards my unrequitted feelings after 8 years. The person who I fell in love with is completely gone from me as the bridge has been burned for several years now, and I feel like the equivalent of a lonely who man whose wife has long since passed.

It's not really that great of a feeling.
>>
Nathaniel Grandwell - Fri, 16 Aug 2019 21:29:57 EST LiC8iReQ No.531064 Reply
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>>531063
I do not have any arbitrary qualifications what require a drive through schooling to get. What I want is a counterpart to spend my life with who has interesting personality traits, a house, a couple of pets maybe?

Pursuing art kind of makes it worse because the end result never surmounts to anything.

I read a story not too long ago about a guy from the 50's who was kind of having a mediocre situation. He was in the military and what he decided to do was cross over the Korean border into North Korea. US defectors to North Korea actually kind of get treated like gods and are revered by the N korean public as celebrities for their roles as antagonists in N Korean cinema.

It's literally impossible to do what I want to do. I want the qualifications for jobs that typically require a doctorate degree, but I absolutely cannot jump through hoops because it just seems so ridiculously stupid to me. I want mutual love.

and it aint going to happen because the way the world is set up: people are not really that great. :/
>>
John Clettingsore - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 05:03:10 EST FfKOgUEy No.531065 Reply
>>531064
You
>fell in love
With someone you misjudged so badly. Nah. You aren't a creep but you're naive and you sound like you don't have a lot of touch with reality. Art comes from life. Calling someone a "creep" is a juvenile response but yet you felt the need to defend yourself. I get the feeling your issue is that you just don't reality very well. How can you do art if you don't understand life? How can you speak to the souls of others when you don't understand their struggles and passions?

It's pretty obvious why you hate life.
>you don't have any plan for actually surviving it and refuse to compromise
Well all compromise. Ideals are just that. They're things we should get as close as possible to. You seem to have decided you'll try reach them to an extent that clearly isn't possible ans are disappointed when you get nothing. Life is fucked up, a lot of stuff is shit but we live and enjoy ourselves by compromising.

This comes back to your love life too. You have these crazy ideals that just aren't real. You've never been in love with a person. And you haven't. Yet you have these stupid ideas about it. Your wife has never passed she has never existed and she never will. You have never loved a person, just the idea of one. You fell into limerence and got too obsessed with it.

In short, stop faffing and making excuses. Accept life isn't perfect, compromise and make the most of it and you'll be happier. Do art for art's sake and accept the lack of results, just creating something and a handful of people enjoying it is great. I'm a fucking accountant but it doesn't stop me making music (or doing accounts for a very worthwhile service). You don't find love and a companion if you refuse to live a life and do stuff. Even love is compromise and finding someone who has many flaws but they don't bother you or they're well worth it.

>I want the qualifications for jobs that typically require a doctorate degree, but I absolutely cannot jump through hoops because it just seems so ridiculously stupid to me
You sound like you want the world on a platter. But you're not UPPER middle class enough to get that. So prepare for disappointment. You can work hard and have a decent life, better than most but you can't just do coke and have the world handed to you. Only a handful of people can do that.
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Fucking Tootford - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 09:15:59 EST 1tBczS2w No.531066 Reply
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>>531062
You're looking out to others because looking in is confusing and scary. You must begin a process of introspection. Use guided mediation if you want, it's good practice. Ten minutes a day to start and for most people that's all they ever do. Stop letting other people determine the course of your life and be the star of your own show. Become sexually destructive and predatory, objectify and conquer every biological orifice you see, including those created by animals.
>>
Fucking Tootford - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 09:44:34 EST 1tBczS2w No.531067 Reply
>>531064
>I do not have any arbitrary qualifications what require a drive through schooling to get. What I want is a counterpart to spend my life with who has interesting personality traits, a house, a couple of pets maybe?
What do you have to offer someone like this?
>>
Thomas Gumbleman - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 12:53:14 EST dSPy0yiU No.531071 Reply
>>531064
>What I want is a counterpart to spend my life with who has interesting personality traits, a house, a couple of pets maybe?
Listen man, you're sounding as if you're entitled to a person like that. Everything you want in a person should be something that you yourself can match. Personality, strength of character, strong convictions, property -- You can't ask those things of another unless you also have them.
>>
Nathaniel Grandwell - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 14:44:08 EST LiC8iReQ No.531072 Reply
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I don't know, folks. I certainly don't mean to sound masturbatory but I am a moderately smart and talented guy. I have no deformities and can tell a pretty good joke.

I kind of got kicked out of highschool for straight up refusing to learn. They said I was a bad influence on the other kids (wtf?). One of my favorite teachers was the biology teacher who said my problem is the material is not challenging me.

I'm a humble, guy, believe me. I don't want to sound like some sort of douche here. Lot of people aren't blessed the way I am and I try to be very well aware of the fact that I could have easily lost the birth lottery.

I just.. don't want to live on this planet, yknow? This crazy bitch actually landed me in jail (which I will absolutely admit is half my fault.. 19 at that time) but what really wasn't necessary is the guards folding me into the quote unquote "suitcase" position when I was screaming about justice and god and what the star means in my cell, calling them cueball faggots, ecetera. The suitcase thing is something they came up with where you fold someone's legs, arms back, and pretty much bend their spine while pressing down on the leg and arm muscles. It's one of the worst sensations you can experience.

I'm kind of damaged goods at this point. :/
>>
Nathaniel Grandwell - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 15:34:59 EST LiC8iReQ No.531075 Reply
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>>531073
idk man i mean i could write an essay about how interest rate targeting hurts consumers in the long run if you want

hey are you stupid or something? you should post some of your originals.
>>
Nathaniel Grandwell - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 15:37:52 EST LiC8iReQ No.531076 Reply
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I don't mean to sound like a snob or anything because I am, but uh these kind of responses are terrible to the point where they are the reason why I kick my own ass.
>>
Thomas Gumbleman - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 15:59:20 EST dSPy0yiU No.531077 Reply
>>531076
>comes to advice board
>trashes every piece of advice he is given
yeah, you deserve an ass-kicking
>>
Nathaniel Grandwell - Sat, 17 Aug 2019 17:26:33 EST LiC8iReQ No.531079 Reply
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>>531077
Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and we are all going to die.
>>
Doris Drunningstock - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 03:49:29 EST JCATCBbz No.531090 Reply
OP I didn't read any of your shit. But listen; most folks may not be extraordinary but there are those humans who do indeed do extraordinary things. Have faith in the underdog and dismiss the general masses.
>>
Nigel Hallerditch - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 05:13:03 EST FfKOgUEy No.531091 Reply
>>531079
Yet you act like you believe you should get stuff without trying or having any reason for that stuff to happen. Consequences follow actions. You can't guarantee an outcome but if you can take steps to get what you want. And you're not doing it. You don't believe your existential spiel. You say it but then act like life will just sort you out and are disappointment when stuff with no reason to happen doesn't happen. If you believed it you'd be acting. I believe that stuff and it helps me sleep at night. You don't. Life is change we found on the floor and you got more than most. Spend it on something rather than lamenting how you are hungry and thirsty and the coins are weighing your pocket down and that big fat note is scratching your leg.

There's no fate, entitlement or plan beyond your own actions. How do you intend to get the things you want?

And yes, you're probably depressed and miserable but this is again something we cannot cure for you. We can't walk you into a pysch's office and watch you poo poo his advice or refuse to open up and we can't stop your life from sucking, which is probably why you're sad. You have to do those things. There are no magic words that cure you. At best we might get you to take the action you need to take.

This is on you. We can advise, we can share and empathise, or not. But we can't fix your problem. I think your issue is unrealistic expectations.
>>
Cedric Sabbleson - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 00:14:37 EST LiC8iReQ No.531114 Reply
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>>531090
thanks, that is pretty reaffirming for having read any of my bullshit

>>531091
i've gotten some seriously bad advice so far and am pretty much going to stop checking this board. i might check back on what you have to bullshit me with but i aint replying to the awful "fuck you" advice anymore. pic related it is lincoln without his beard and what i look like. tall skinny dude with sullen cheeks and the same eyes and nose.

cyas
>>
Phoebe Blundleforth - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 00:43:42 EST iHjETuX5 No.531115 Reply
You want to die because you're in a shitty position, and you feel guilty for it. It's a two pronged deal. Remediation starts by shifting your position

If you're not a troll, you're too entitled. Being born into mediocrity of money and intelligence (the middle class) isnt something to be proud of. Even taking into account how you shouldnt be proud of any inherent quality. It's pride that keeps you alive, btw.

You need pride. That means you need skills. 'Drawing' and 'analyzing cinema' aren't useful skills. More importantly, they're not difficult skills. That's why they don't fufill you. Intelligence seems to be important to you. You have to prove to yourself that youre intelligent.

I think that's why you dont do college. You know you'll feel dumb on the way to enlightenment, and you don't want to rock the boat where your ego is delicatly perched.

Sorry if i sound confrontational. Imagine it's tough love from a relative you respect
>>
Cedric Sabbleson - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 01:04:32 EST LiC8iReQ No.531116 Reply
>>531115
>You want to die because you're in a shitty position, and you feel guilty for it. It's a two pronged deal. Remediation starts by shifting your position
agree'd
>Being born into mediocrity of money and intelligence (the middle class) isnt something to be proud of.
never said I was. actually being born into a rather nice family and not making anything of it is what makes me feel particularly ashamed and guilty.
>'Drawing' and 'analyzing cinema' aren't useful skills
i dont know i mean being capable of photorealism is something that took many years of deep existential turmoil for me and it is kind of specific but i do not believe the average person to be capable of analysing the unique place that the film exterminating angels has in spanish culture
>I think that's why you dont do college. You know you'll feel dumb on the way to enlightenment, and you don't want to rock the boat where your ego is delicatly perched.
i appreciate you "thinking" but that's not accurate. reason why i don't do community college is that my chops outranking most of the professors while being in a subservient role is kind of worse than torture.
>Sorry if i sound confrontational. Imagine it's tough love from a relative you respect
i thought this post actually has some substance to it so uh ur good brah
>>
Cedric Sabbleson - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 01:09:14 EST LiC8iReQ No.531117 Reply
uh i don't mean to be smelling my own farts here but you ought to take my word for it that society is genuinely shitty. in general.
>>
Shit Greenwill - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 01:12:29 EST d4fOgvZr No.531118 Reply
>>531062
>wants to die for some odd reason?

>I have absolutely no future. None.

Well, I can see one reason that I wouldn't call "odd".

I think in general life can be pretty tough if you're a depressed artistic / sensitive guy.
Kinda trying to figure out what future I can manage to achieve myself, after numerous bouts of failed studies and mental health problems in my twenties.

I'm scared, because everyone else seems to be moving forward. There's always that guy who gets a masters degree in engineering at 23 and is promptly hired at Microsoft, then gets a house and a wife within two years. It doesn't bother me that I'm not that guy, it bothers me that I'm drawn like a magnet to the other end of the spectrum.

At 29 I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life, or if I even want it to continue. I guess the most rational thing for me to do is to get back into therapy so I can dare to actually pursue the things I want instead of living in a prison of fear.
>>
Cedric Greenbury - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 01:37:03 EST nbqCjbH8 No.531120 Reply
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>>531117

The thing is you aren't as smart as you think you are. Nothing you have written, so far, says great writer. You use the phrase "kind of" way too much. The way you use "surmount" doesn't make sense. Your vocabulary is average, your ideas are average, your dilemma is average.

Maybe you have some extraordinary talent, but even people with talent normally have to learn to hone that talent. You need to humble yourself and find out what people who have lived longer than yourself have to offer.

Depression sucks; but, saying "I'm depressed and I refuse to do anything about except live in my own shit" is never going to pull you out of your situation.
>>
Wesley Gunnerspear - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 17:20:25 EST +KTYM74/ No.531136 Reply
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OP I hope I don't insult your intelligence by assuming you haven't already heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect, but I'd still like to remind you of its existence. You seem to be stuck on Mount Stupid. I know this sounds like a juvenile insult but it's actually just the description of your state of mind right before falling into the Valley of Despair.
There's no shame in it, because phenomenon affects everyone. We're all guilty of overestimating our own capabilities.
At least, that's the impression I get from reading your posts.

Do you know why they want you to do assignments and produce non-creative writings, which seems so mindless and repetitive and totally not worthy of your time? Because you haven't mastered the art yet. The key to mastering any art (be that making music, writing, painting, movie making,...) is practice. And if you wanna get anywhere in your chosen art in this lifetime, you need not blind practice but directed practice. A mentor is not absolutely necessary, but they do help in directing you to practice efficiently and effectively.
You can pick up a guitar and start playing random notes from day 1, but just fucking around on a guitar isn't going to produce many masterpieces.
It takes training, mindless drills, and playing simple children's songs to even get past a beginner level. And then it's more mindless drills, and ear training, and note reading, and tab writing, and even more drills and more practice and always practice and practice beyond the point of fun and why am I even wasting my time oh god I could've learned about general relativity instead oh god I'm so bored....
I've stopped believing I'll be a millionaire rockstar someday, not because society is against me succeeding, but because I don't want to practice 8 hours every day, live in poverty, pour my heart and soul into an album that gets noticed by maybe 35 people and be judged poorly.
You want to write creatively? You gotta practice that, though. And you probably need a master to show you just how little you think you know about the art.

You're trying to inform us of your capacities, instead of showing it. You keep expressing your beliefs that you are superior to the college professors in community college, so why don't you prove it? Show us your work. Have you even published your writing somewhere online? Is any of your work open to be judged by the world?
I know if I truly felt my work to be so enlightened without a higher education, you can be sure I'd be trying to publish it everywhere. Anywhere. "I managed to do this without a degree goddamnit! Look at what I made on my own!"

...But you're not.
And it's probably because you don't truly believe in your own superiority. You're just afraid to be judged poorly. So you don't try because you're afraid of failure. So you have nothing, and crushing your inflated ego would crush your entire world. You'd just be average like the rest of us. And gone would be your last hope of getting out of an "average" existence.

>>531120
also this
>>
Alice Clibberfuck - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 03:20:55 EST 2dpbGRKS No.531147 Reply
lmfao good luck trying to get art work with that attitude and trust me, you'll meet a whole lot of authoritarian people
you reek of inexperience and narcissism
>>
Esther Trotfuck - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 05:23:16 EST V6inbDPQ No.531150 Reply
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Here's an insight into your life 10 years from now OP:

You'll be working in the same grocery store that you started after a few months at some college you think your parents forced you to go to. Always looking down on everyone around you. You'll never finish a single project you started.

You'll continue to blame society until you're in your 30s, overweight, mildly alcoholic, and miserable beyond your current limited imagination. You'll be that weird older guy who hits on teenage coworkers and acts like he thinks he's still 16. Which is fine, because you'll still be living at your parent's house with them treating you like you are.

Your life is fucked OP and theres not much you can do about it with your kind of attitude. We've all met people like you and you're not as unique as you think. I wish you the best man, but it doesnt end well for you.
>>
Basil Fummlehun - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 11:46:24 EST FUZp42nP No.531155 Reply
>>531150
If that's what you've got to offer, why are you here? Do you even know how to offer constructive support?
>>
Sophie Dribbletat - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 19:09:08 EST A33aUZTw No.531162 Reply
>>531155
Tbf, smugness can frustrate, and the OP is very smug as an (unconsious?) defense mechansim
>>
Sophie Dribbletat - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 19:46:29 EST A33aUZTw No.531167 Reply
>>531166

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. I guess he could be smug for the sake of smugness

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