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420chan is Getting Overhauled - Changelog/Bug Report/Request Thread (Updated July 26)

Questions about girls

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- Sun, 18 Aug 2019 18:28:36 EST tCoF/EHT No.531111
File: 1566167316061.jpg -(42042B / 41.06KB, 470x747) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Questions about girls
Second year of college

I don't want to be a virgin forever. How do I approach girls in my class without being creepy? I know I probably shouldn't do it on the first day but I really really want a GF.

And before you ask, I take of myself (180lbs 6ft2in 11% bodyfat) and I have a decent face. But my social skills are dogshit and I just don't know what to say to girls.


also I'm deathly afraid that I'll be hitting on a chick and some white-knight asshole will go all fake woke on me and accuse me of being weird and shit. How do I respond to this hypothetical? How do I have a comeback that isn't cringe?
>>
Oliver Honeylock - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 18:48:02 EST U0Z4Pbz0 No.531112 Reply
>>531111
>I'm deathly afraid that I'll be hitting on a chick and some white-knight asshole will go all fake woke on me and accuse me of being weird and shit. How do I respond to this hypothetical?

Won't happen.

>How do I have a comeback that isn't cringe?
Dismissive, "Whatever dude."

Just walk up and ask them about themselves. People can't resist talking about themselves. Just be like, Hey what kinda music do you like? Then just have a conversation where you ask questions.

Another good tip is talk about a girls hair. An awesome way to get pussy is the following:

>Hey what's up with your hair? Make a joke about it that isn't cutting or anything but something like, Oh the Rachel hasn't been in style for like 20 years.
>Oh blah blah blah.
>Yeah nah, I'm just messing with you, I like it/It's cute.
>Then just ask them about something else.

A quick light insulting joke that isn't too mean or anything gets them up and interested. Then you immediately draw it back and give them a compliment. Then you're playing with their emotions basically, you get them stirred up a bit and then make them like you with a compliment then follow with a question about them. 10-20 minutes of bullshitting and then you ask on a date or for a number or whatever.

That is basically it. Keep going until you find one that is interesting and cool.
>>
Nathaniel Hunkinway - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 19:31:20 EST dSPy0yiU No.531113 Reply
>>531111
If you're 6'2" 180 with 11 percent body fat with good looks and an apparently ripped bod, then why don't you just wait for them to approach you. like i dont get this whole shit about being afraid of girls, you just wait for one to sit by you and they'll probably start talking to you. that's how i got my girlfriend, she just made a move on me and i reciprocated.

if you literally can't do anything else, at the very least learn to reciprocate attention. Unless you're an absolute ugloid and you're lanky rather than ripped. you might have to just approach women and sit next to them and see whoever talks to you, but with your social skills that's probably not a good idea. iunno man, i never had this problem so why the fuck am i trying to give you advice?
>>
Fucking Feffingman - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 01:45:56 EST xFBnJEh+ No.531121 Reply
>>531113
>why don't you just wait for them to approach you
Ahahahahaha! Oh man...

Maybe this happens for some people, but I can honestly say in my 35 years of life, this has happened to me maybe once. Not gonna lie, I was a chubby kid, but I've been pretty fit since puberty.

>i never had this problem so why the fuck am i trying to give you advice?
Yeah, you're basically someone with a super-high metabolism trying to give dieting advice to someone who's obese.
You're pretty much saying "What? You just only eat when you're hungry. It's easy, right?"

Anyway, back to OP.
I don't know what advice to give you. I was 30 before I got a girlfriend, and I basically did it by just latching on every time I found someone who met my 3 criteria:
1) Attractive
2) Single
3) Shows even the slightest interest in me.

The first few times this didn't work out (they bailed after 1-2 dates), but eventually it stuck.

The thing is, the conversation can't be too forced. You have to actually have something to talk about. So try to put yourself in situations where you can actually talk about something, rather than just chatting up some rando in your class.
>>
David Serrywug - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 07:06:27 EST A8m11hb5 No.531126 Reply
>>531111
>How do I respond to this hypothetical?
>I obviously had better sit in my dorm and conjure up every possible outcome and determine a course of action before I open the conversation. If I don't, something will happen and I won't know how to react.
As opposed to just going to parties and practicing like everyone else.
>>
Shit Greenwill - Mon, 19 Aug 2019 08:18:15 EST d4fOgvZr No.531130 Reply
>>531111
>also I'm deathly afraid that I'll be hitting on a chick and some white-knight asshole will go all fake woke on me and accuse me of being weird and shit.

Dude I'm a fat and strange little man and even to me this scenario has literally never happened. If you hit on someone who turns out to have a boyfriend just go "oh I didn't know" and move on. As long as you're not creepily persistent or very crass nobody is going to throw a shitfit over you hitting on someone.
>>
Fanny Duckwill - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 20:49:13 EST iJiVumQQ No.531169 Reply
>>531121
My whole game centered around being approached by woman. I didnt realize it until I was out of high school but girls had been hitting on me since I was 13. I was 6 ft 3 back then. It's a viable alternative to approaching but it works better in classes and larger social groups than in bars and clubs. The main thing is to try and be sexy and mysterious. Being shy actually helps lol. Dont demonstrate sexual interest in the women. They get confused and want to get to know you. Be their friends after that and keep things non attached and someone will jump your bones before their rivals get to you first. No joke.

>>531111
OP you're thinking about this all wrong. No offense but you dont learn to juggle by starting with 6 balls. You start with two.

This is clearly not about your virginity because otherwise you'd go to a whore. I recommend that you go see a whore btw. Itll be either great or underwhelming. If its underwhelming then you'll be perfectly prepared for the realities of casual sex lol.

But since it's not about sex it's about romance, connection and mental health. Guy you need friends in general. You need to talk to people. You need therapies. You dont need a committed relationship right now or to even think about non platonic love. Modern day relationships are out of your league for now.

So yeah. Try your best to get some professional help. A nice non judgmental therapist or some CBT for social anxiety would go down nicely. Download workbooks from online even. They are out there.

Join a club and keep going. Talk to people in class about the subjects. Simple building blocks. Stack them bricks son. Add people on Facebook. Message them.

You're only learning the basics here. Preparing for dudes attacking you is pure neuroticism and anxiety. Its akin to the young boy learning to shoot a rifle having a panic attack because he doesn't know how to put down a bear already. It's not realistic.

Go and do the thing. Dont overthink this
>>
Lillian Brookville - Tue, 20 Aug 2019 23:29:15 EST xFBnJEh+ No.531170 Reply
>>531169
>>Being shy actually helps lol. Dont demonstrate sexual interest in the women
Not true, can verify.
If this worked for you, that's great, but I'd call you an outlier. Generally this isn't a viable strategy if women aren't already approaching you.
And I honestly don't know what would make a woman do this. I mean, I assume it must happen, but I have literally no idea what they're attracted to (in b4 "confidence.")

>Modern day relationships are out of your league for now.
Man, that seems a little harsh. Sure, it'll be harder to find a girlfriend without an existing social network, but one can still get lucky. You don't have to have a social network to get a girlfriend, it just helps.

Also, what? Why does he need professional help? I haven't seen OP say anything that indicates a mental problem or imbalance that would require therapy.

I will second that joining clubs is a good idea, though. But just be ready for a lot of false-starts when it comes to networking. You'll make connections that never go anywhere, drop off, or dead end. That will probably be the majority of your experiences, and only a rare few (if any) will actually stick.

You most likely won't be direct-attacked by anyone, but in a big enough social circle, you should probably be prepared for some jealous fake-woke bro to go all "nice-guy" behind your back if he thinks you're "crossing the line," especially with someone he's interested in.
>>
Lillian Blurrydale - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 07:51:49 EST Je9nm5wp No.531171 Reply
>I just don't know what to say to girls

I think the endless debate on this subject goes to show there isn't really any algorithm you can follow to pick up chicks because women are all different people with different preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. You should always start a relationship with a woman the same way you'd start a relationship with a guy. How would you approach a guy you want to be friends with? Approach women the same way initially. You're over thinking it and categorizing women as an other that they just aren't. Talk to people the way you'd talk to people. If there's mutual attraction it will grow from there.

>How do I approach girls in my class without being creepy

Assuming you mean like school and not class of attractiveness, approaching girls in class is not the time or place at all. It will almost always come off as creepy. They're there for a reason and that reason isn't to find a mate. The only way it would be natural is if there was a group project and you became friends over it, that's entirely fair.

>some white-knight asshole will go all fake woke on me and accuse me of being weird and shit

This doesn't happen in real life. The phenomenon of dorky guy who sticks up for women because he wants to have sex only really exists in the minds of people for whom it is inconceivable that you would ever be nice to a woman except to fuck her.
>>
Covfefe - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 07:54:14 EST 0DOizHVp No.531172 Reply
>>531111

Women are men with pussies.

Just talk to her about normal shit.

My room mate is an autist woman. All you have to do is learn that not everyone has your psychokinetic powers of ultrafocus and it's important to have a little figurative chess timer. I.e listen to what they are saying and offer a rebuttal in your own words. Taking in to consideration 'ding' words.

'i like trains; my favorite is the F40 Series; did you know that VIA refurbished them Into GPA30's.'

'No I did not know about. The refurbished trains; what makes them different?'

They have new electric motors and a slick paint job.

What color is the train? Are they fast?
>>
Covfefe - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 07:56:41 EST 0DOizHVp No.531173 Reply
>>531172

Let them do the talking; leave it open; women like to hear themselves.hahamade you look
>>
Basil Duckledine - Thu, 22 Aug 2019 03:18:45 EST iJiVumQQ No.531203 Reply
>>531170
I probably said it wrong but I think that quiet dudes should stick with listening, being chill and asking deeper questions, rather than trying pick up artist tactics. Extroverted women looooove it.

My friend is a male slut from that shit. Natural extroverts and normals get a whole lot of value talking to a thoughtful dude with a different perspective. You need to tap into that man. It's the power of authenticity. A little bit of vulnerability. Sploosh. Women are horny. I've been jumped. OP is my height. Women have noticed him.

As for the therapy, I think its helpful for people with intimacy problems and social anxiety. It doesn't mean he has a mental illness. Therapy is not only for mental illness. Some people just need a safe space to talk out issues. OP must have some fears about being seen by others. Theres a place inside of him that he's protecting from hurt, and if he could share that with a paid professional he might see it is okay to be seen.
>>
Basil Blicklewid - Thu, 22 Aug 2019 09:20:22 EST xFBnJEh+ No.531208 Reply
>>531203
>I think that quiet dudes should stick with listening...rather than trying pick up artist tactics
Well, I mean, I don't disagree with this. It's just that this approach hinges entirely on women being the ones to approach you. And if you're anything like me (or OP, it sounds like) and that doesn't happen, then you're just shit out of luck.

Sorry if I sounded a little defensive before, I think I just really identify with OP. He sounds like a younger version of me, and while I did eventually get a girlfriend after college, I never had success with any of the "traditional" strategies, or even the strategies you've been suggesting.

And honestly, when you're 30 and still a virgin, advice like "You just let the women come to you! It couldn't be easier!" starts to become really aggravating. Like... obviously it's not as easy as that, or I would have had some success by now.
>>
Hannah Brivingdud - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 00:59:44 EST Je9nm5wp No.531230 Reply
>>531203
>rather than trying pick up artist tactics

thiiiis, PUA shit doesn't work on any women worth having in your life imo, but i mean i'm pretty biased cause i can't stand that shit
>>
Hannah Brivingdud - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 01:06:07 EST Je9nm5wp No.531231 Reply
>>531208
like I said in another post, just make friends with women, no strong relationships start with a guy going up to a girl and saying "I think we should fuck", you have to become friends first, and I know it sounds like some "just b urself" bullshit but if there's a connection you just now, at least on our end, and if it's blurry for you, just try, worst case scenario you lose a friend, but normally if you take being gently turned down as the end of it that doesn't necessarily mean you just stop talking to each other, unless that's all you were after in the first place, in which case no harm no foul
>>
Doris Droffinghall - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 03:51:52 EST +KTYM74/ No.531232 Reply
>>531231
30 yo virgin here
the "friend" approach didn't work for me.
in fact, there's a thread on /qq/ by me where I describe how I fell in love with my friend, and people gave me shit and called me a dumbass for trying to turn a friendship into a romantic relationship.

obviously I am unqualified to give advice on this, but what I can do is agree with the other guy when he says waiting for women to come to you is fucking bullshit advice.
I remember being 21 and being told "just be yourself, women will come to you". 9 years later and that has never* happened.

however, I do agree with the core of the message "just be yourself" and I would add to that "and approach women". he has to overcome his fears, or he'll be doomed like me.
I lied when I said I've never been approached by women. but every time it happened I was either so caught off-guard and afraid of the situation that I blew the opportunity I was given, or I was completely oblivious to what was happening until it was too late.

OP you need to man up. if you're shy and awkward that's OK.
your fear of being made fun of in public by a girl or a whiteknight is irrational. why? because you're not in high school anymore. you've reached an age where conflict and confrontation can be an actual dangerous situation, and women especially will do their best to avoid provoking tall ripped guys.
>>
Isabella Pillerman - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 10:53:40 EST 2dpbGRKS No.531235 Reply
>>531232
there's always a window between friendship and relationship, you probably cakefarted yourself with that girl by waiting too long
your advice is solid though
>>
David Forrytatch - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 10:55:11 EST ZdyXyUcS No.531236 Reply
>>531111
Be better friends with the men in your life. Learn to be a good friend first.
>>
Hannah Brivingdud - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 15:37:18 EST Je9nm5wp No.531252 Reply
>>531232
>people gave me shit and called me a dumbass for trying to turn a friendship into a romantic relationship

that's a wrong opinion, but I mean you're right it doesn't always work out
>>
Nigel Lightstock - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 17:36:05 EST eGS6zz6/ No.531259 Reply
>>531111

If you want to get more dates, talk to more women in meatspace. If you're worried about being labelled a lothario and being cast out from society, do your talking in areas with high population density. The crowd gives you a certain amount of anonymity. There is no foolproof strategy, you really have to practice and find your own way of seduction; such things are highly dependent on social status, body type, cultural norms.

Places with high human turnover:

> tourist traps

> college towns

> urban areas

Here are a few things which work in general:

> clothes that fit

If you're heavy, visit big&tall. It's worth it. Don't wear tight clothes unless you have something to show off. I've yet to find a woman who likes the vaseline-stuffed-condom look.

> cleanliness.

If you can't figure out facial hair, shave it off, unless you want to use it to change the shape of your head. soap, water, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste. Cut your nails

> posture.

the foundation of good posture is your spine. Focus on straightening out your core and the part of your back that lies between the upper part of your shoulder blades. Breathe deep and let everything settle into place. That's good posture and it makes everyone more attractive. If you have to look down, maintain posture and crane your neck, rather than bowing forward with your whole upper back; apparently such is more aesthetically pleasing.

> smile

Really smile. Find things to laugh about and keep those in mind when you smile. I can spot a fake smile and I always find them uncanny and disturbing.

Finally, I think it's important to communicate at first contact that you have some kind of sexual interest. Sometimes she'll want that communication to be verbal, typically it is non-verbal. Creatures with ambiguous intentions are nightmare fuel for humans. Be clear about what you want. My only regret in life was the number of ladies I never connected with, because they didn't know I was interested.
>>
Betsy Gillystudge - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 17:55:48 EST 0DOizHVp No.531260 Reply
>>531259

I know it sounds retarded but buy a pair of suspenders but set them not to hold your pants as if you followed the gentleman's guide here, but as a subtle nod to you if you are slouching, you could do this at home in private, or in public.

If somehow you get to the point of taking your clothes off with another human on your anti-slouching adventures, you're either:
A. absolutely fucked and get your ass laughed off for wearing suspenders
B. asbolutely laid because for some odd reason suspenders are hot to the person.
C. ?????
D. Profit

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