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Why are abusive people better in bed?

- Wed, 21 Aug 2019 12:45:00 EST mzNTCNcn No.531178
File: 1566405900954.jpg -(36577B / 35.72KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Why are abusive people better in bed?
In my dating/sex life across my teens and twenties (I just turned 30) I always noticed a correlation: the more abusive and emotionally unpredictable a person is, the better in bed they are.

If a woman is sweet, caring, and emotionally supportive of my mental illness, the sex is gonna probably be aight but nothing to write home about. If a woman is bitchy, confrontational, screams at me constantly, and belittles me, you can bet your ass that sex is gonna be hot, sweaty, biting, scratching, hair-pulling, animalistic sex. The head game is gonna be fire. Abusive partners are always the best submissives in BDSM relationships. In a non-abusive relationship, sex with be 3-4x a week. In an abusive relationship, sex is going to be multiple times a day.

Why the sex game gotta be so fire with horrible people? My last relationship I wanted to leave so badly but the sex was just too good that is was worth being slapped around and being told to kill myself. Thankfully she dumped me eventually for another guy (who is now a crippling alcoholic and pill-popper thanks to her). I just don't understand the psychology of it.
Charles Gepperfog - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 13:01:02 EST 4f82UQ2y No.531179 Reply
This doesn't really map my experiences or people I know. You've been "Lucky" that what you want is exactly what they're prepared to give. Without communication and desire to make the other happy you're just happening to want exactly what they do.

If you got off on intimacy and affection you'd probably find it a downer. Though even then you've been lucky. My experiences with shitty partners are that they aren't great and there often isn't sex, just them forgetting their agreement to spend time together then crying about how sad you are because you express disappointment at not being able to spend 2 evenings a week together. yes she was spending time with other guys and probably doing the same shit to them

Your kink "helps" a bit. Except it doesn't.
Martin Lightgold - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 13:12:39 EST arTfXkXX No.531180 Reply
Because mental illness can affect your entire life.
Samuel Billingcocke - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 13:13:39 EST hiKxQg3e No.531181 Reply
I'm not sure, but I think it might have to do with willingness to push the envelope.
Fanny Pocklewell - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 13:22:20 EST mzNTCNcn No.531182 Reply
I think I should clarify that it's not really a "kink" for me because it's not what I really want. I want someone who loves me for who I am and yet is also sexually compatible for me. The problem is I have a voracious sexual appetite and it just so happens that in my life so far the only people that have matched my level of appetite and depravity are extremely toxic and/or violent individuals.

Yeaaaah I should add the addendum that I suffered severe abuse as a child at the hands of my father who suffered from delusions and hallucinations as well as was a crippling alcoholic. I ended up inheriting his same mental illness. Only difference is I stayed on my medications. Ha haaaaa, daddy issues......
Samuel Billingcocke - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 13:51:46 EST hiKxQg3e No.531184 Reply
Maybe you should look for a person who has recovered but retained their sexiness.
Fanny Pocklewell - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 14:22:43 EST mzNTCNcn No.531185 Reply
I'd love to, mate. Maybe now that I'm older the dating pool will be filled with more people who have chilled out a bit.
Martin Lightgold - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 15:20:34 EST arTfXkXX No.531187 Reply
Or you could find someone young and hot and who's fucked up enough to like older guys.
Fanny Pocklewell - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 15:57:22 EST mzNTCNcn No.531188 Reply
The last 2 chicks I banged were in the 18-21 range. They're good gals tbh, we just didn't click "that" way. And I dunno, I don't wanna go THAT young.... There's this 22 year-old though I know through my religious congregation/institution that is pretty fine and seems to be into me. Kinda don't wanna date a virgin though.
Jack Drumblesere - Wed, 21 Aug 2019 18:40:18 EST VU3mWrry No.531195 Reply
1566427218051.jpg -(59207B / 57.82KB, 600x450) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Well this is definitely a concern, but when you slide your slimmy jimmy up under the sea where everything's better, you'll change your tune, take it from me.
Fucking Cruttingseg - Thu, 22 Aug 2019 01:00:45 EST Gwo0A6QD No.531201 Reply
Mh dunno. I have the most caring and loving girlfriend I ever had, right now. She makes me the sweetest gifts and we never fight but still the sex is great.
She isn't the most active in bed but it's great to go crazy on her until her whole body transforms into an erogenous zone, licking and kissing her until she's shivering all over
and then start fucking her asshole and eventually cum in her mouth. Dunno if I'll ever get bored of it but she is way better in bed than the bitchy girl I dated before, who got mad just for slapping her naked ass and needed to stop after 10 minutes of fucking. And then she would bitch I didn't kiss her hard enough, wtf.
Dunno, maybe I just like a sub I can use as I please.
Charlotte Chummerwetch - Thu, 22 Aug 2019 01:51:46 EST j440Ynv1 No.531202 Reply
You question yourself too much. Next time, just listen and receive the message as told. Instead of acting on your questions of paranoia, remain a virgin this one and only time or else.
Fuck Wommertick - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 16:24:12 EST Sjfg2Tup No.531257 Reply
Uhhhhhhhhh I think you've been dating and screwing the wrong people. Also maybe talk with a therapist about this issue specifically because this is hella unhealthy.
Fucking Blathershit - Fri, 23 Aug 2019 19:52:41 EST hiKxQg3e No.531268 Reply
You just haven't stuck your dick in crazy or had a crazy dick. You are what you are, regardless of why you are, and you shouldn't dehumanize people with high sex drives.
Charles Honeybanks - Mon, 26 Aug 2019 07:32:16 EST C8ErUO9Y No.531305 Reply
Uhhh yes, I have, and it was a huge mistake. Also some terrible sex. And FYI sane people in healthy relationships also have high sex drives. Your views are warped. Seek help.
Clara Drubbermod - Mon, 26 Aug 2019 17:09:28 EST VLaW5ukW No.531311 Reply
>Abusive partners are always the best submissives in BDSM relationships.
>worth being slapped around and being told to kill myself.

Lol the memories that this triggered. God bless you Christine you crazy, crazy bitch never again..
Betsy Clummlestud - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 08:08:44 EST YmfNMR01 No.531735 Reply
>Abusive partners are always the best submissives in BDSM relationships
I don't understand? The abusive, a submissive? Wtf? Please explain dis?

(OK this is interesting because I apparently got picked as one for those very reasons by a person who seemingly thinks like OP does. Was a put off, a total boner killer for me so I cut off the relationship. Sounds eerily like my ex BF who wanted a "bitch".. Like, nigga I got self respect.
William Brerrynodge - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 09:36:57 EST T6wrNEFc No.531740 Reply
Legal =\= tasteful or practical

I briefly dated a 21 year old when I was 25, the gap in life experience even then, leaves a lot to be desired.
John Croddleridge - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 12:09:07 EST o4A8VlDx No.531745 Reply

Admittedly so.

I do think it’s a bit weird when the age gaps breach ~3/4 years. But hey, that’s the beauty of having opinions. What a time to be alive.
Archie Bunningfield - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 13:29:40 EST yleLimz+ No.531746 Reply
maybe you need to bring something to the bedroom and stop taking your cues off your partner all the time. Like you know, you could act like a grown up and tell the woman what you like and she could do some play acting and have fun with you

I can't get my bf to make a single fucking request and if i ever find out he's online blaming ME for that I'm a shave his beard off while he's sleeping
Fucking Gezzleset - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 13:37:29 EST UazQZPcT No.531747 Reply
>ass 2 mouth

Yeah fam, ur fukt

For real, when you are that young in life, fucking around with someone more than 3 years above or below is going to be a pain. Just like if you're fucking around at 16 with someone that is 14 or 15, it is going to be a problem. The younger you are the closer the age gap needs to be to work.

I'm burned out and washed up. All my dreams are broken and I'm strung out on anti depressants with a shitty dead end job. In other words, I'm only compatible with single moms and worn out bar flies that are hitting that 35 y/o mark where they are desperate as fuck and will take anything with a job. There is no way I could even bother to bring myself to flirt with someone under 30. They got to much youth. In the words of Patrice O'neal, I bet that 22 year old pussy still smells like hope.

Once you hit like 45 though you can swing up or down 10 years easy. But things ain't all roses and peacehs. Welcome to the realm of the poly-divorcees, trailer trash, and utter losers. If you're still finding yourself single consistently when you're over the hill, you're likely beyond fucked when it comes to a decent relationship unless you can get a widower or capture a unicorn or something. Anyone decent has long been since taken at this point.
Jarvis Wucklestock - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 13:39:56 EST znvZPHVt No.531748 Reply
I think the age gap that gets weird broadens fast. The older you get the more individual life experience varies. There's definitely a few years were most people like you reside, though depending on where your head and life is you might not be at the centre of that gap (I'm pretty immature and spent a few years not really living as much as existing so I reckon it's 3/4 years younger than me maybe more, I'm in my 30s now though so that doesn't mean teenagers and early 20s exist in a different frame of reference still, much above that and they increasingly feel like they're not aliens, same happens in the other direction too but it's much more spread out)

It definitely varies more with the individual the older you get. But then I'm really immature and dating someone 8 years younger than me (I am older than Kirt though) so I do have a horse in this race.
George Clallyway - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 13:40:05 EST zSA4zQWW No.531749 Reply
1568655605116.jpg -(12594B / 12.30KB, 320x240) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Age gaps are a weird thing. There's definitely a point where just the gap alone becomes fucked up and predatory but as long as they're within like ~5 years of each other (maybe less, that's for smarter people than me who know how the brain develops to figure out) the thing that really matters is whether or not the mentality is comparable, I think. Even that depends on how old the people in question are, like I don't see anything egregious about a 40 year old dating a 30 year old, but a 40 year old dating a 22 year old is just creepy no matter how you slice it.

These aren't romantic relationships so they're not a great example but I'm 25 and most of my friends are 20-22. The friends that are my age are all about dinner parties now and going to bed early because they have kids and whoah boy I read The Economist I'm an adult, and we just don't have a lot in common anymore. Maybe that just says a lot about my stunted growth and less about age gaps as a whole though.
William Brerrynodge - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 14:01:33 EST T6wrNEFc No.531750 Reply

I can relate. My gf is 2 years younger.

Women my age have generally gone one of a handful of routes, none of which I am compatible with. Either they “got mature” or they’ve hit up the “holidays, Friday night club nights and restaurants” lifestyle - both don’t work for me.

Then you’ve got the mildly compatible chicks that I think are cool but they usually end up having severe drug / drink/ emotional problems and a pretty bitter tasting past. These chicks made for a fun few weeks but ultimately didn’t work out.

There is something obvious about my dress code and lifestyle that lets people know that though, I’m not bitter. It just means, if you are going on a path less travelled, you will bump into less fellow travellers. I got lucky and bumped into one.
Caroline Duffingheck - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 18:53:26 EST USUZpST+ No.531754 Reply
>I can relate. My gf is 2 years younger.
>Women my age [as distinct from my gf]
what? how old are you? if you're over 18 then your gf is your age
Wesley Candlestone - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 03:52:26 EST GLbXnjbZ No.531762 Reply

I’m 26. She’s 24.

Other 26 year old women have typically settled into a more adult life. They’ll have done the degrees and got the high paying job or climbed a corporate ladder, or they’ve just generally aged out of my interests & style. Financially I’m outranked, lifestyle wise I’m irrelevant and on the whole I am not a good fit.

Going a bit younger helps offset that gap, although even within younger age brackets, I am still looking for the exceptions. People who don’t earn much, have retained a youthful coolness and also don’t participate in a lot normal stuff that other people do.
Sidney Snodgold - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 06:52:36 EST UazQZPcT No.531765 Reply
>They’ll have done the degrees and got the high paying job or climbed a corporate ladder, or they’ve just generally aged out of my interests & style. Financially I’m outranked, lifestyle wise I’m irrelevant and on the whole I am not a good fit.

God this makes me so depressed. I'm in the same boat just on a life level in general.

I dropped out of college because of depression and laziness and now I can't get any jobs to even support myself alone. I'm up against people working 80 hours a week in manual labor and making dual incomes. I can't even afford to live on my own and save anything. A lost job or a big expense and I'm homeless lol. Man have I done fucked up.

I can't even get into a relationship because I'm a loser for one with no friends and can't relate to the working class dregs but I'm not in the societal class to mingle with people of the same intellect and interests.

>I'm trapped in this weird middle ground in society where I'm over achieving in dead end jobs or unqualified in anything that pays a living wage since I don't have a college degree. I left myself behind.

Damn your posts hits too close to home.
Albert Borrysot - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 11:19:31 EST ehhnNOgT No.531770 Reply
people who want to manipulate others with sex get really good at sex
Samuel Pallerkeg - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 13:47:45 EST znvZPHVt No.531778 Reply
I don't think evil means good sex but maybe crazy.

I mean I'm a previous abuse victim dating a woman who's a previous abuse victim and the sex is insane. I mean maybe one of us will actually be the monster later I dunno but so far so good. I didn't even know I could fuck like that. Apparently she's dated a few abusive ones and they all sucked actually.

>I'm trapped in this weird middle ground in society
No you're not though. It feels like it. The problem is that entry level jobs and dead end jobs are superficially very similar to the point you often don't know them apart until you end up in one and realise there is or isn't actually room to go up, additionally some jobs are dead end to you but not others and vice versa. I was in this boat 6 years ago. I won't lie I ended up where I am by accident just thought "this is a job I can easily do" and I needed money and it turned out to be a career. The degree is a red herring. plenty of vocational shit out there. Though admittedly one of the 2 things the government have done right in the entire decade in my country is apprenticeships so it's particularly good here. But still, college students will say the same shit about experience. The point is that you need to try a few other jobs if you're in this rut. The other option is that if you're truly overqualified in a dead end job you need to end up in such a place where the manager doesn't hate you, and once they know your competence ask them what you have to do to get moving upwards. If you can supervise people that actually opens up a huge range of career paths and sets you up well above entry. One of my friends went from barista to assistant manager to team leader (literally just bottom supervisory) in an office to head of department.
David Bundale - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 08:11:12 EST arJ9K9Yx No.531827 Reply
>asks this question
>post Yuno
cause you’re obviously into that retard
Jist - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 06:45:20 EST LbPBpo3d No.531945 Reply
1570013120039.jpg -(3449686B / 3.29MB, 3456x4608) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Well the way I think of it is, if she's too hot to you, you want to think about some fucked up deformed shit while in the do, while the flip is pretty obvious. Try finding a butter face or something man. Hot ones for me just ended up whoring out, or wanting you to think that. While all my luck luck went to shit with these half decent wemon getting pre maturely pregnant (17- 25) with guys before they make something of there self. It's really hard to find a good balance for me. I guess it's nice to see my brothers grow with there wemon. It's also nice to know that there's Hope for these youngins. Maybe it's the father in me but relationships work the best when both have already made their staple in society ECT. Ect.
Fuck Fanfield - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 19:43:45 EST Vggnt5aG No.532007 Reply
Op is onto something, and it's definitely no kink.

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