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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

im a super villian

- Sat, 14 Sep 2019 15:24:02 EST N3hJNNn3 No.531714
File: 1568489042434.jpg -(182957B / 178.67KB, 720x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. im a super villian
My ex cheated on me in high school. It's been almost 10 years, and it still fucks me up. I had another girl lead me on in uni right after to make fun of me. I loved both of these girls dearly and was abused for it. Neither of them had to do what they did, but did it anyways. I've struggled a lot with these memories, it's really hard to feel love for or from anyone else these days. Almost every time I explain what they did to anyone they completely gloss over them, saying they would've been stoked if it was happening to them or these girls wouldn't do something like that or whatever, so I've barely told anyone.

Basically, everyone thinks these two girls are perfect. They've both gotten some pretty lucrative jobs now. They've both married to guys with good careers. They both have a ton of friends on facebook and instagram and take a lot of pictures of all the awesome things they get to do. It looks like they're happy and doing well.

I haven't been in a relationship in 9 years. I had to drop out of college in my last year to pay for a surgery and have been stuck trying to pay off my debt enough to get another loan to finish school since. I'm sleeping in a shed at my fathers home now taking care of him until he dies from cancer.

Would it be fucked up of me to add all their friends, family and coworkers on facebook and make some posts about the shitty things they did? I feel like that's the least I could do.
Shitting Drillyford - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 16:53:07 EST oXo9Ddud No.531716 Reply
Let it go and move on. If anything, not falling in love so easily will protect you in the future.
Cornelius Drupperson - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 07:49:54 EST T6wrNEFc No.531720 Reply

Super unhealthy behaviour, amigo - but that’s okay, I know you are just hurting and have been courageous enough to share your thoughts.

Homie, there is nothing okay about holding onto a girl cheating on you in high school, 9 years prior. That’s ancient history and you know what? So fucking what. Yano. It happens. Kids will be kids, I remember my own share of stories from high school - but there comes a point, a line is drawn and life moves on. Those people aren’t even the people you knew anymore, a lot of life happened inbetween.

Perhaps the blow to the head from the second chick spun you deeper, combined with illness that derailed your education and a dying father. My friend, I feel for your situation, you must be very deep down a dark rabbit hole and feeling alone.

You’ve got a lot on your plate. I won’t patronise you with cookie cutter advice for a life I’ve not lived. But I will answer your question the best I can :

Do not do any of the things you are considering. It will make you look like a completely obsessed, stalker tier weirdo from the past. It won’t look good, nobody will care and tbh, may have consequences for you legally.
Cornelius Drupperson - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 08:04:01 EST T6wrNEFc No.531721 Reply

As an extended thought, I have this :

I’ve done regrettable actions in the past. Fuelled by my own misery.

A string of vicious texts to an ex girlfriend, on multiple occasions, after she left me stands out. I left some mean Instagram comments. Then I sent some mean texts on phone 1. Got blocked on both, got a new phone (coincidence), fished her number off a phone bill and did it again. Then I apologised via student email. Then 5 months later she pops up randomly, making small talk and I did it again once it was apparent she didn’t wanna get back together.

I said all the meanest things I could, things that I hoped would get to her - using 3 years of intimate knowledge of insecurities against her. Someone I loved, someone who loved me.

Lost in my own darkness, I didn’t care. Some fucked up part of me had ran the maths on this behaviour and gave it the seal of approval. Depression, anger, resentment, isolation - these things are not healthy, they fuck up your perspective. You linger, you blame, you decay. You lose the ability to objectively see yourself and end up doing things that don’t represent you or who you want to be.

I let myself down. Don’t do the same.
Lydia Cadgechet - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 10:18:40 EST pfQYdJPP No.531722 Reply
How in the Jesus do you even know what they're doing? LET GO
Rebecca Gurrysotch - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 10:31:53 EST yleLimz+ No.531723 Reply
why do you care about what those two girls are doing now?
why are you able to love people who you don't know well but who treat you badly?
What does this tell you about yourself?

I don't mean this as an attack, i want you to realize that you need to work on yourself, not two people who were dicks when they were practically children
Cedric Goddlechadge - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 12:05:29 EST yUhAjzvV No.531725 Reply
How the fuk would adding the people they know on facebook and posting about the shit they did accomplish? Quit dwelling on this shit, it's like a self-inflicted curse that's robbing you of your time, health, and stability.

Never moving past this has honestly done more damage to you than the girls' actions themselves did. They're the ones that originally cut you, but you're the one that's been picking at, scratching, and jamming your fingers in the wounds and complaining about how it hurts so much all this time. Let yourself heal already you moron.
Thomas Hurringforth - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 09:13:02 EST d4fOgvZr No.531767 Reply
I think it would be wise for you to seek therapy. I know what it's like to hang on to grudges from the past, and to suffer shitty people who everyone else seems to love.
You seem broken, and you didn't deserve any of this, however I think your proposal is counter-productive at best. You say that in your experience, sharing the truth has fallen on deaf ears. Why would it be different this time?

The truth is that cruel people get away with anything and excel at putting you in situations where your only effective means of retaliation, or in my own case self defense, will be punishable by law. Here's the thing though: There's a lot of us who know what these kinds of people are like. You are not alone, but it's easier to find support IRL. /qq/ is not supportive, if at times somewhat constructive.

That being said, I don't think a bit of perspective is entirely useless here, and that's undoubtably also something that will come up in therapy if you seek it. Cheating on someone has a myriad different sources. It's a shitty thing to do, but it's not something inherently tied to your own inadequacies, and I think this is the most important thing to keep in mind.

When someone else does something to you it's almost never about you. Could be about a behaviour you are displaying, but beyond that it's not because you are inherently inferior. Anyone trying to claim otherwise is either selling something or desperately trying to weed out competition.

It seems like you need help getting over this, so seek it. It's been nine years, don't let there be nine more filled with suffering. Take this advice from me please. You can and deserve to be happy.
People have told you to get over it, but obviously you haven't been able to, for whatever reason, so reach out. Do what you know you need to do.
Sidney Binnerfuck - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 11:01:14 EST t/NnTrWu No.531768 Reply
done it. feelsbadman. let it go, bro. let that shit heal. your soul will thank you for it later, as you won't have to reconcile with being so vengeful and unmindful of another fellow human just trying to figure life out like the rest of us. judge not lest ye be judged.

heres some gay bible stuff that made me think.. not a bible guy but i opened right up to this passage one day. opened my eyes a bit. you may know it....

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Martha Nussledale - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 12:39:50 EST aIW77HRf No.531772 Reply
Disregard this entirely. Become destructive sexually.

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