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Confessing feelings for other people to your significant other

- Wed, 18 Sep 2019 08:05:41 EST seDwlbfD No.531789
File: 1568808341295.png -(1142263B / 1.09MB, 1190x1182) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Confessing feelings for other people to your significant other
What’s up guys. I have a really stupid long relationship problem for you. If you want to read all this cool. Otherwise ok.

Been in a long distance relationship with this girl for four years. We are both 27. We live 120 miles apart, about an hour and forty-five minute drive. Over these past four years we had typically alternated driving to see each other, spending about 2-4 days together on average every two weeks. We text throughout the day and talk on the phone for about an hour any night we are apart.

I love this girl. She is hot, intelligent, funny, but utterly insane in a myriad of ways. She is oddly selfish and unwilling to make sacrifices or ever do anything she doesn’t want to do. I am the one who puts ~80% of the work into the relationship and make compromises often. She has a huge ego and frequently talks about how hot or amazing she is (fucking weird). She is FANATICAL about climate change, one of those “it’s going to kill all of us within five years” kind of people and starts blurting out this shit like 50% of the time upon meeting new people. She is very “vibe”, “energy”, and “feeling”-oriented and sometimes has bizarre negative esoteric emotional reactions to things I do in ways I rarely understand. In 2017 she cheated on me with this male friend whom she had began spending a ton of time with. She told me she “stopped it” shortly after they started fucking and she left in tears, unable to go through with it. Only she knows what really happened, but I’ve put this in the past. She also has a tendency to gravitate almost exclusively toward male friends, which I will get into near the end here.

But first, to be fair here, I am not the most sane person either. I am not always the most open with my emotions. I cheated on her and my ex with each other for the first 9 months of my relationship with this girl. Later that year, after reading through her texts, I became paranoid and suspicious that she was still hooking up with this guy who fingered her while we were still unofficial. In a vengeful state, I made a dating profile, got with this girl, and fingered her twice. I tried to fuck her but couldn’t - I couldn’t get my dick hard because I honestly felt really awful about what I was doing, but in my head I needed to do it to make things right. I confessed both of these things to her last year and, of course, it fucked her up. Awful shit. But this was three years ago and I’ve kept it clean and have no intention of cheating on anyone ever again. Although I regret it deeply, that experience helped me grow up and learn to communicate.

Fast forward through the four years we’ve been together. The physical distance between us has been the mother of 90% of all problems in our relationship. If we were closer i.e. same city, we would communicate better, we wouldn’t be frustrated at each other because we would be able to see each other whenever we wanted, and we would feel like we knew each other better. She is always the one to bring up her frustrations with the distance and not feeling close to me and I’m left to be the one who has to defend why we need to stay together, fighting for the relationship like my life depends on it like some faggot or something.

I’m opening a food truck in about a month. Have been working on it for a couple years now while doing other things. I finally decided about five months ago to do it in her city, which is notably smaller than mine and guaranteed to solicit less business. It’s also in a different state with many more regulations, higher taxes etc etc basically I’m fucking my business to be with her. When I first told her I was going to do it in her town, her reaction was shocked and confused and not really happy. This confused the shit out of me since we had continuously noted how all of our problems stemmed from us being apart, and this move was going to solve that. She later grew to be very happy with my decision and things were going smoothly.

Our plan was to live together. I would move into her apartment with her. Just a few days ago she informed me she doesn’t feel comfortable living together yet and wants to just live in the same city for a while before we move in together. I respect that decision, but obviously puking that into someone’s face with a few weeks notice of moving is naive, selfish, and unrealistic. I was and still am pissed and we’ve been fighting about it incessantly.

Let’s get to the real shit here. She has developed a friendship with two guys over the past month-and-a-half that has become increasingly worrisome to me. This isn’t like they hang out 2-3 days a week - they hang out about 6 days a week, usually for long periods of time. I told her that is some bullshit and she said they’re just friends, they’re like my family, etc. Tonight I asked her if she is developing feelings for either of them. She told me she has a “crush” on one of them and has developed some feelings for him. This was not something I could keep my cool with and I got very abrasive with her. She told me that I’m overreacting, catastrophizing , and that just because she has a crush on him, she doesn’t have to act on it, and that she’s had crushes on guys before and they usually go away after a few weeks. She told me she plans on talking with him and telling him the situation and that they need to spend less time together. She told me they haven’t come close to doing anything and I’m 99% sure she is telling the truth - she is not a good liar and I know how to read her almost perfectly, so I’m honestly not worried about it, yet.

I was furious and still am. But then I started thinking. I’ve had crushes on tons of girls since our relationship began. I never acted on any of them and everything was and has been fine. I never told her because I didn’t feel like I needed to. I was never going to act on any of them. She didn’t pry at me on whether or not I was interested in anyone else, and if she did I would have still said no because it would have caused drama and tension that didn’t need to exist because I knew in my heart I wasn’t going to do anything like that to hurt her. Crushes happen to everyone, it’s inherent of being a person. Part of me finds solace in that and knowing it may just be the same thing that’s happening with her here. But I know women are a different animal in a whole different emotional realm so shit, fuck.

Part of me has lost a ton of love for this girl and just wants to fuck her off forever. The other part of me still loves her and wants to make it work. And another part of me wants to stay with her just because I hate this guy now and don’t want him to fuck her like with all of the hatred in my heart.

Anyone been in this situation before? What did you do? If not, what would you do?
My plan as of now is to still take my business up to her town and live in the same city, continuing the relationship. So I guess my question is, am I a retard?
Hamilton Danderstutch - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 08:57:24 EST 6yyblGQR No.531790 Reply
It doesn't sound like you're going to be able to fix up or tape up this relationship anymore. Please stop messing with people's lives and heads. Get yourself right before you involve other people.
Ebenezer Hubberstock - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 09:16:36 EST USUZpST+ No.531791 Reply
Take your food truck to a bigger city and stash a mattress in the back so you can hook up with new people there.
Jack Dudgewet - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 10:38:59 EST 2dpbGRKS No.531792 Reply
long distance relationships literally never work
yeah you're a retard, i would've broken up ages ago
Edward Pickwill - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 13:32:35 EST znvZPHVt No.531793 Reply
Long distance works if you have a medium term plan to make it not long distance. This whole thing was weird. Having a crush isn't an issue but it depends how you act on it. I think OP's other half is moderately sketchy at this point and I do wonder.

Not sure what to opine except that yes moving in at short notice was a weird move but it's something you should be seriously considering moving towards in the future even if it's "we'll live in the same city a few months then start considering that". If it's her place and she could have it without you then it's not like she's got to risk much and at some point those waters have to be tested.

Not sure on the action but here's someone else's perspective. Not sure if it helps. Hope it does.
James Pickworth - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 13:33:24 EST Fw0/aDJ4 No.531794 Reply
nah i know people who have made them work, i don't know if this is one of those cases because long thread, things to do, novels to read instead
Betsy Wammertidging - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 18:32:22 EST iJiVumQQ No.531815 Reply
This is all on you dude. You're not going to be able to communicate to us peons the value of your relationship. We would always tend towards telling you to break up. You would tell a 3rd person to do it in your situation. Cheating and long distance blues just suck in general everyone knows that.

Is it worth all the suffering? You tell us. Are you going to really regret breaking up? We don't know. Can you trust her? Dont ask us? Maybe.
Ernest Nidgekadge - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 00:59:09 EST JCATCBbz No.531821 Reply
OP I didn't read all that stuff, is that cool? Sorry dude but I just...felt occupied by more vapid posts. Just LMK dude

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