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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

My breakup.

- Fri, 20 Sep 2019 23:33:13 EST UuASd/Tk No.531833
File: 1569036793950.jpg -(59318B / 57.93KB, 848x564) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. My breakup.
My girlfriend had just started a new job. I was so proud of her. I never got to see her anymore because of her hours. I received a text from her. In it she told me that she was a bad person, that she had cheated on me. She said I deserved better. I tried everything to convince her that she wasn't. She did not come home that night.

I said that we should at least try couples therapy. She agreed to go to an emergency appointment I scheduled with my therapist. In this appointment she told me that she loved me and that I was a great guy. She confessed that she had been cheating on me for the past three months with several partners that she had met over Tinder. I was completely devastated.

She believes she has a sex addiction and that she needs to address these problems separated from me. This happened on August 8th.

I am dealing with it but have been completely zoned out. She got her own apartment and I let her come by to pack up her things while I was at school. I continue to respect her boundaries. I would be lying if I said I wasn't going through a self-destructive phase between now and when this happened. I've been numbing my pain with a lot of drinking and have been going through through the different stages of grief.

I almost convinced myself to download Tinder but I stopped short. I am getting to the acceptance stage and I want to continue to process this breakup with my therapist before I put myself out there.
Jenny Dreffingfoot - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 00:59:33 EST wIKq1PyM No.531835 Reply
Any girl that would cheat doesn't love you and never did, now you can take that two ways. You can consider it a blessing she showed her true colors and you didn't end up marrying her or worse dumping a child in her and being bound forever to that shit. Or you can be a mopey faggot and worry about what some woman who doesn't give a fuck about you is doing. I'm not going to tell you to get back out there and try to fuck but you have to let her go if you want to make progress on healing yourself. Never ever take a scandalous cheating ho back ever. You'll be good just watch how much you're drinking and make sure you are taking care of yourself first.
Rebecca Buckleshaw - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 01:28:42 EST lOgPoSCR No.531836 Reply
1569043722441.gif -(388626B / 379.52KB, 182x100) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
she was right. she's a bad person

now shit down her throat with success, have make up sex and make her feel as empty as you felt when you found out. dont feel bad what's the difference anyway shes gonna feel that way either way after smanging another guy.
Martin Demmerridge - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 08:26:44 EST znvZPHVt No.531840 Reply
People cheat for reasons but it's never the right choice. The extent OP's partner cheated and the options she had available then yeah I agree. I think there may be cases where if the person cheated on can say "I can still trust you again one day" it might be worth finding out why the cheating happening, sorting that out and healing the relationship. But this is no where near such a case and even then it would rely on those feelings and even if you drop the hatred and resentment I'm not sure how many people can truly trust after cheating, especially someone as massively trangressive as this.

OP. Dump her. move on. Take Jenny's advice. She never discussed this. She could have brought this up worked out what it was these strangers give her that she doesn't get and if there's a way to get it without fucking another guy and if there isn't then consider changing the terms of the relationship (or ending it if that's incompatible with OP. I know I would have to let a partner go if they needed polygamy or an open relationship)

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