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Relationship Worries

- Thu, 21 Nov 2019 01:37:03 EST hW/v4k1v No.532482
File: 1574318223784.jpg -(1193478B / 1.14MB, 3629x2722) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Relationship Worries
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years, and things have always been great. I truly love her and can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. We've had some issues in the past with both parties to blame, but we always made it through. Because of her I know what it feels like to love someone more with each passing day.

We have lived together for over 3 years but currently live in two different cities. I have a job here and she has university an hour and a half away, but we visit eachother at least every weekend, more often when her class allows for it. This was a recent change in our lives which initially made me feel closer than ever to her because our time together was more special.

As the week's go by though, I feel us drifting further and further apart. She'll spend 6-10 hours playing video games with her friends when she comes to visit. Last week, she began playing with just this one guy from the group, even going so far as to pretend to go to bed to leave the larger group and just play with him. They spend that 6-10 hours sharing nearly every detail of their lives with eachother, giggling, and flirting. As of tonight she has now added him on snapchat, which I caught her in a lie about.

I'm envious of how much they talk to eachother and how elated she is with him compared to when we have 1 on 1 time. If I try to bring it up any suspicions of mine with her she gets very offended, immediately closing herself off and saying I should be able to trust her. The past few night she'll watch an episode of a show with me then play game the rest of the night until bedtime when we put on another show while she stays glued to her phone until we go to sleep.

I'm at a loss for what to do. I can't stand listening to her talk to him. Her small lies and deliberately leaving out information are starting to pile up. Should I try to keep going in hopes that this is just a phase and that our relationship can be what it once was? Am I a blind fool who has missed his chance already?
Betsy Gurringsidge - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 05:30:33 EST 1ub4L/0W No.532483 Reply
Play games with her, bozo.
Hannah Bizzlelot - Thu, 21 Nov 2019 05:31:54 EST 1SSFeKJF No.532484 Reply
It's looking bad, it might be saveable.

I wouldn't approach it from the angle of "don't talk to this guy" but it sounds like her ignoring you is a legit issue. If she isn't spending time with you, ask her what you can do. You have to mean it, you have to genuinely be looking to make sure you're doing nothing wrong. Maybe there's something she isn't getting from you. Now this may be something unreasonable and she may be a lost cause or she may have a genuine issue. However should it be the latter she still needs to address that for your relationship to continue. If she really cares still she'll be able to tell you something that's missing and you can provide it. Or she'll realise that there isn't and she's trying to have her cake and eat it. No ultimatums because she'll do the minimum amount and will feel pressured.

Don't get me wrong, I think you're more likely fucked than not. However I'd probably go the step of making sure you've done what you reasonably can so you don't "what if". And I mean reasonably, it's very easily to rationalise and justify anything with someone who is dishonest and "You can trust me" and you need to get a bit further than "okay it's now a bit simpler if you're just full of shit than all these justifications" but don't go on forever.

There will be a point where even if she's telling the truth she'd have repeatedly chosen absolutely everyone over you. She won't be blowing you off for this guy, it's her friends need her, she's neglected this and that person, she had this thing, this was on her mind. In a relationship sometimes you can't expect your partner's full attention and they have a life, but similarly if you don't maintain or make any effort for a relationship you can't expect to keep it. The truth is any time someone just has other things for weeks at a time they are lying, but even if they weren't you'd have to ask "are they even pretending to give a shit any more?". Also don't be surprised if she repeatedly does stuff, stuff comes up and she can't do it but she can't rearrange for ages then when she does, stuff comes up.
Samuel Buzzdale - Fri, 29 Nov 2019 05:35:04 EST oXo9Ddud No.532566 Reply
1575023704882.jpg -(17949B / 17.53KB, 500x707) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Dump and move on.

Just do it, don't think about it or dwell on it.
User is currently banned from all boards
Eliza Smalldock - Fri, 29 Nov 2019 20:45:58 EST NpvZxK2o No.532570 Reply
1575078358314.jpg -(13466B / 13.15KB, 252x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
It's over OP. Leave her.

You'll regret what you experience if you drag this on. Shes moved on and it's time for you to as well.
Simon Sonningspear - Tue, 07 Jan 2020 13:34:22 EST oXo9Ddud No.533123 Reply
She’s gone. I lost a near marriage in a painfully similar way.

Don’t date girls seriously who are tethered to the internet.

She’s just gone. You probably won’t have the stones or self respect to cut her off. You’ll compromise. Maybe she’ll cry.

Then it is all going to get so much worse.

Good luck.
User is currently banned from all boards
Alice Sivingmodge - Wed, 08 Jan 2020 10:19:52 EST VMzmKgcf No.533134 Reply
don't put up with that shit you dumb idiot
she is disrespecting you
Reuben Depperpud - Thu, 09 Jan 2020 18:08:16 EST jnas4L6T No.533172 Reply
last comment said it best. she does not respect you

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