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Being above it

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- Sat, 18 Jan 2020 05:14:55 EST q/H5yqCq No.533304
File: 1579342495834.jpg -(120034B / 117.22KB, 750x1334) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Being above it
Hey /qq, did you got to the point of not giving a fucking damn about your problems? Like in a bad way? I've used to care about my mental state, but lately I just dont have enough will to do something about it. Ive got a loving gf and few good friends in my small circle of people whom I socialize with. We always supported eachother, but lately I just dont see how could I benefit from speaking about my problem. In worse case scenarios, I remember that I posted my qq here. Some of you had helped me few times when I was in bad spot. Nowadays Im struggling with few things, my family as always is my biggest issue. Ive tried to work this thing over to benefit my whole family (in a psychological/relation meaning), but was turned down, while my dad and my sister gave another account of hiding things from me and changing the narration. Normaly I would seek comfort and vent about my problems - its just a healthy thing to do. But atm I dont feel like it matters and it wouldnt change a single thing. Its been like this since 4 days, I try to do some stuff which would keep my mind busy, but I feel overwhelming feeling of no sense and I feel depressed as fuck. I have some history with me being depressed, but I always did come out of it by my own, without any medicaments. Now I just fucking dont know what to do, because I feel like I'm stuck in current situation and every decision which I could go with would just lead me to more pain. Its about chosing between being stuck in a emotional terrorism situation and ending the relation with one of the only 2 people which i really love in my life. I cannot do it, I dont feel like any talk can help me, because in the end I will still be stuck in current situation. Theres nothing more to say after my last talk with my father, he just wants to keep on living like nothing had happend. Im feeling awful deep down, while my analitic side knows that im in fucked up situation and theres no way out of it, without causing more pain to myself and people around me whom I love. Nobody can help me and therefore I stoped seeking any mental support from gf and friends. Its atypical for me and I want to do something about it, but I feel like something has changed inside of me. How do you cope with this feeling? Is there any way to embrace it and aquire some sort of emotionalfree state? I just want to be mentaly over it, not in the time context, but over it as being above it.

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