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- Fri, 24 Jan 2020 20:53:15 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533357
File: 1579917195741.png -(165412B / 161.54KB, 317x343) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. oops
I am 25. Almost 30. It is 2020. My university won't give me my fucking film degree (wtf, right? useless) because of some bullshit credit I have no funds or aid to go back and finish.
Can't get ahead. Trapped in a dead town in an apartment I hate, job that I hate, all my money goes to bills and utilities and I don't have a single dollar to spare on a psychiatrist, let alone anything that could enrich my life.
All these people post videos on Youtube and get film careers and entertainment careers and I'm still wasting away in my room. Haven't been able to see my friends. A girl hasn't shown me interest in five years. Just watching my life waste away. If I had a camera or a studio or a shot, I don't even know if I could make something of it if I wanted to because it just wasn't meant to be.

I either have two options; commit suicide or accept that it wasn't meant to be and dedicate the rest of my life to the thing I hate the least. I have stories to tell, or at least I thought I did but I am now realizing that everybody who ever "abused me" or "made me miserable and want to kill myself" was right because I really never was shit to begin with

how does a person cope with failure
Albert Heffingbuck - Fri, 24 Jan 2020 23:18:44 EST JFqzZM+C No.533359 Reply
>I am 25. Almost 30.

Shit, you're practically 50, old man.
Nicholas Dradgewidge - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 00:44:22 EST eGS6zz6/ No.533361 Reply
Mourn the loss of your film degree. Sounds like you need to have a good cry if you havent already.
Samuel Grandson - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 02:38:52 EST 8GGWxAgK No.533363 Reply
did you ask for any help from family or fellow students or get a uni loan or bank loan?
Cornelius Tootwell - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 06:22:49 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533364 Reply
I can’t really cry so easily. The only times I can even slightly cry is after Inter into a fist fight and lose. The rest of the time it’s just autopilot.
My credit is horrible. I could ask but it’s not likely. I am kind of burned out.
Simon Gullyhatch - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 07:04:52 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533366 Reply
What did you want to do with your film degree?

I mean if you got the knowledge and skills from it, I feel like for a lot of careers the paper isn't worth much more than any other degree. Including film.
Nicholas Dradgewidge - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 12:21:52 EST eGS6zz6/ No.533367 Reply
Stand up straight and hold your hands in front of your lower abdomen, between your genitals and belly button, with you palms facing inward. Keep them close but dont touch your body. Look forward and pick a point to focus on. Now look at that point, and breathe deeply all the way down to the pit of your stomach. Keep breathing like that in standing meditation. I cry every time if there is some kind of problem in my life.
Ebenezer Clenkinchen - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 15:28:06 EST 1ub4L/0W No.533369 Reply
You don't have a camera? There are HD cameras at goodwill right now.
Cornelius Tootwell - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 15:52:26 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533371 Reply
I feel like I could have made a passion or a glorified hobby into a career, only because it was done before and I felt like I had talent or skill that could help me excel, but I think that part of that had been something to help me want to stay alive because I’ve been suicidal and depressed since I was a teenager.

I feel like high school is too young for people to make important life choices because it was a traumatic time for me and I feel like I jumped too quickly into a life I couldn’t un-fuck.

I don’t really know what I want anymore because I feel like I’m not talented enough to succeed, but this goal isn’t disappearing entirely from my mind. I think it absolutely sucks hard sometimes to be world famous judging by what I’ve seen happen to people in the media over the last decade but anything better than what I have right now is worth a shot.
Edwin Drivingfield - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 04:54:58 EST K3UbRHWR No.533373 Reply
Eh. I could have said the same shit 5 years ago. If your life is shit then make it more of an adventure of some kind. Even a coward like me was able to mix up my environment a bit and adapt. Novel experiences make you feel alive.

Dont be internalizing the abuse you suffered either because if anything the ubiquity and inanity of it all just goes to show that humans really are just ape people with egos. 8 yr old children are as cruel and as dumb as chickens. 16 year olds are as horny as deers during the rut. It's all just mammalian posturing. Dont take it as objective truth. Fuck them. Live out of spite to those fuckheads that told you to kill yourself.
Doris Worthingbanks - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 15:08:26 EST NUPLxYIu No.533374 Reply
Who did what to you, bud? With youtube and shit you don't need a degree to make money creating videos.. you're just down on your luck. adapt.
Fucking Middledetch - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 16:09:31 EST ySK+6TA1 No.533375 Reply
Your perspective is very unhealthy. What do you define as being a waste? Is it any time not spent doing what you want, in this case working on film projects? Even if everything worked out perfectly for you, you'd still be wasting 70-90% of your life doing unavoidable life shit... looking at things with your attitude, your life would've still been a waste.

What you need to do is quit being so overly dramatic and be open to trying new things. The one thing you really wanted doesn't seem like it could happen... it still could, but even if it doesn't, why limit yourself like that? How do you know that there isn't something else out there you could become just as passionate about as you are film? You don't, you've just decided that there isn't because you're upset. You're essentially throwing a contained tantrum, it's a childish reaction to not getting what you want.

I mean, it's a normal reaction to have, but as you get older you realize that you don't know everything that you think you do, and you get sick of being miserable all the time. So, you stop pretending things are more awful than they really are and that the future is going to be awful because things didn't turn out how you wanted them to. Instead you accept your misfortune and your failures as a natural process of living, an unavoidable step towards progress. It's part of the human condition. Just take a step back, calm yourself, and take the failure and misfortune in stride. Handle it with grace. Things can and will look up if you let them, especially if you're determined for them to.
Rebecca Greenspear - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 18:59:11 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533377 Reply
I feel like your degree or not won't really make a difference. Either you have the skills or you don't. It'd be nice to get the paper to help with other stuff.

A lot of people find a job they like or can stand at it's worst and has good bits, that gives them time and money to spare and pursue a hobby uses the resources it affords. There's nothing wrong with doing that though you have to find the right job for that too. My favourite art form is music and almost all of the bands I like the most are either hobbies or people work between tours to make ends meet (and buy weed in quite a few cases).

It's apparent a lot of film making is connections, who you know or who you can get your idea to. Or really indie self funded stuff. There's a lot of hacks even at the top of the industry. So really it's graft and making connections. If you want to make art, life experience of all sorts is as important to give you something to write about.

Now actually progressing your career. Your job sucks but if you've held it down for a while you've proven you're not a complete fuckwit and can step into something that's a little better. You're going to have to change things in steps and not get instant changes. One of the things that helped me change my life was letting go of the idea that I was nearly out of time before I fell off the curve. I had fallen off, and instead of worrying "well if I take 2 years to change this I'll be further behind" I just thought well it doesn't matter now, might as well make the most of things and cracked on with it. Find a job that either sucks up less time or gives you more money or both. Save up. If you like the job try to progress, if you don't use the money to move or do something else. If you are stuck in a rut with nothing to live for it's better to go back to your parents and save money, unless your home environment is toxic, and if that's the case share. I mean I'm earning a lot more than minimum wage but if I wasn't sharing my flat my life would be like yours. Instead I'm doing the things I want and saving about 1/5 of my pre tax income. Also do an audit of your expenses and see what you can cut back on. If you have a couple of $2/day luxuries you can get a half price version of you're going to find that's doing a couple of things a month which are fun. Or investing in something.

All easier said than done but it's worth doing. You struggle getting a better job if you find one than again that's another issue. But it's one that can be addressed. But you need to do this a step at a time. You can't just solve this in a single move. Break it into little ones you can imagine doing then start doing them.
Cornelius Tootwell - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 21:04:42 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533378 Reply
It’s not so simple; it’s not just a matter of one part of my life not working out and me being butthurt. I feel that everything in my life up to this point was a lie or a failure and how does a person keep going? How and where am I going to find something I actually feel like I’m competent enough to do?

My home life and my family life has been nothing but toxic. I don’t know. Maybe that has had a hand in how I feel.
Cornelius Tootwell - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 21:51:15 EST w5KJ0DP9 No.533379 Reply
I’m starting to take a lot of things that were said here into consideration instead of reading just to respond. I think ultimately I need to find a way to “unplug” myself from some of these negative modes of feeling sorry for myself
Esther Shakebury - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 09:46:15 EST stc0rZMJ No.533381 Reply
You won't find anything sitting there. If you were an actual artist you would know that you need to produce a mountain of shit to get a grain of gold. If you don't even have a degree and you're ready to quit just quit. Go work a temp agency and find some office job that's more your speed. True art is for people who aren't afraid of failure and understand its part of the process.
John Sungerstone - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 12:34:46 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533382 Reply
You need to remove yourself from your old life and build something stable. Keep your flame burning but focus on a better life. This is just my own opinion, but it just looks to me like that's the plays. Some people find their calling later in life some people just take a long time to get a break. If it's not sports you don't have to have your career done by a set point. If you enjoy creating then merely aspiring to do creating and be working towards it before you die may be rewarding enough.

But yeah my home life was awful and I needed to get free of that first. It did require cohabiting with strangers though don't be a tool about who you move in with or let rent a room or whatever.
Thomas Fummleham - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 13:05:09 EST ySK+6TA1 No.533385 Reply
Accidentally posted this in another thread, woops. Have to add this to keep the board saying flood detected.

>It’s not so simple; it’s not just a matter of one part of my life not working out and me being butthurt. I feel that everything in my life up to this point was a lie or a failure and how does a person keep going? How and where am I going to find something I actually feel like I’m competent enough to do?

It's only as complicated as you make it man. How do you keep going? You just do. How and where are you going to find something you're competent enough to do? I don't know, nobody does. I mean, how should we (or you, for that matter)? You just have to put yourself out there and find it. The way you do that is as simple as continuing to put one foot in front of the other; keep moving forward. As long as you keep going, you're going to eventually find what you're looking for.

So the plan is simple: keep moving forward, don't give up. Your biggest obstacle is your lack of motivation due to emotional instability, so do whatever it is you have to in order to cope with and get over that in a way that allows you to keep moving forward. Talk to people about things, maybe see a therapist, get new hobbies and creative outlets that allow you to express yourself and what you're going through to get it all out of your system and achieve some form of catharsis, etc.
Hannah Fundlestun - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 15:22:02 EST eGS6zz6/ No.533386 Reply
OP, take your resume and portfolio and go apply to work at your local public access tv station
Henry Hoggledale - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 21:30:10 EST Y/IBjRot No.533387 Reply
Grow shrooms op, a few hundo investment can make u thousands
Nathaniel Bullerford - Sat, 01 Feb 2020 14:34:17 EST ehhnNOgT No.533438 Reply
This is just the normal quarter life crisis that most people go through when they realize none of the dreams they had as a kid were realistic or feasible and that they're just going to end up working shit jobs just to survive like everyone else. Sorry you're only now finding out you're not special. It's not your fault society lies to us all and tells us we are special and that we can do anything (as long as we pay thousands of dollars to a college anyway). Don't worry though, even if you got into the industry, you'd probably just learn that it's not what you imagined and it's just a daily grind like any other bullshit and you would probably never raise yourself up to the level where you actually had any sort of creative freedom. Life is just not as good as advertised.
Edwin Crunninglock - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 12:55:00 EST ylj3nXrl No.533458 Reply
is there a cheaper way to earn those credits? could you pick up the last few credits elswhere and then graduate? TV isn't one of those things where a degree matters, in my experience, it's being in the right place at the right time, knowing people, and persistence. Most of the people I know in TV didn't actually finish their degrees, coincidentally
Sophie Pittville - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 13:12:47 EST 1VcUBcZx No.533460 Reply
This OP, almost every job in life above entry level is attained through nepotism and relationships. Hell thats what college is mostly for, so you can network with people to get better opportunities in the future, the paper degree is just all for show. If you don't have any exisiting connections right now that could help you (hell even a parent being in a company.) then theres not really a lot you can do, But I would recommend just getting a braindead, non-work heavy simple job like being a security guard or night shift attendant Etc. so you can sit around all day and focus on coming up with whatever ideas you have art-wise for you're hobby and see if you could profit off it somehow on your own.
Hugh Greenforth - Mon, 03 Feb 2020 15:41:08 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533461 Reply
>almost every job in life above entry level is attained through nepotism and relationships
Not exactly true. But for some fields it absolutely is. Also depends on the employer and management. The places which are best to work tend not to work like this. Even if it's a huge organisation it can apply on a departmental level.

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