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I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on

- Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:00:52 EST ObhhTE06 No.533783
File: 1582722052889.jpg -(19567B / 19.11KB, 408x408) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I’m a gay and friendless loner and the first friends I made I have an incredible crush on
>FINALLY muster the courage to go out on my own for the first time in years
>sit down at a pub for a few hours
>2 guys ask to share the table with me on the other end
>I agree but they’re very friendly so they include me in their conversation almost immediately
>both tradesmen, good looking, confident young guys, also so nice and seemed so conscientious it was really shocking to me how sensitive they seemed when on the surface I was even a little intimidated by them
>they are Mens Men in a way that I could never be and all I can think is “why do they even want to hang out with me”
>we spent the whole night together and even though it was only Tuesday we went to a bar/nightclub and they ordered me drinks all night and I’ve never had so much fun
>at one point I called out to one of them with the wrong name and he had to correct me and I apologised so much
>like it was a scene from a movie he smiled and put a hand on my shoulder and said “dont worry man it’s the thought that counts” and I have never been so floored by something and I don’t know why
I added them both on Facebook and they accepted but they haven’t messaged me at all today. Of course not I get why they wouldn’t because it’s no big deal but I’m freaking out here because I’m confusing my feelings of romance with not having any friends for so long and I’m like the typical fucking queer who other men have to watch how they act around me in case I try to fuck them or something. I really hope I stay friends with these guys but I also think I could never keep up with them for so long... In a way I wish I had never met them because I kind of feel so low compared to them and am reeling so heavily all today from the amount of fun I had, but it’s just not realistic for me. For them I’m sure it meant nothing.
Wesley Hammlechedging - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:09:37 EST mttQWkrO No.533785 Reply
>>they are Mens Men in a way that I could never be

I'm terrible at picking up signals out of fear of retribution if I happen to be wrong to the point I let the love of my life slip through my fingers despite the fact that in retrospect that love was almost certainly requited at some point in time before he decided he didn't like how he felt about me and ghosted me and continues to despite me reaching out to him 3 times including the last time with a fucking letter just begging him to tell me the reason so I could have some closure

All of that said, there is a reasonable chance they are mens men in the exact way that you are
Shitting Dendercheck - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:19:32 EST uS1i/aF3 No.533786 Reply
>>533785 Dude he made friends, dont get his hopes up lol, if he tries to hit on them that could make shit really weird.
Just try to be a bro.
Wesley Hammlechedging - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:29:14 EST mttQWkrO No.533788 Reply
can you let me ship OP and his cute yuppie friends in peace?

also yes OP don't hit on them immediately after meeting them that would be dumb i wasn't suggesting that
John Trotman - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 12:59:00 EST 1SSFeKJF No.533792 Reply
Keep making more friends though.

It's good you made friends but you're probably overly attached to them and there's far too much to lose. It's a great start that you made there but don't throw it away but stopping with 2 new friends. If those guys accept you it will make it easier to befriend others.
Frederick Pullerfone - Wed, 26 Feb 2020 16:41:25 EST 3ScQQ4dj No.533794 Reply
this was last night and you fell in love with them? are you a 7 year old girl?
please get a grip and just befriend them, if you want a boyfriend go to a gay bar
Reuben Pockwill - Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:13:41 EST 0Ag2Us1E No.533802 Reply
Honestly OP it might be a high that wont last. You’re idealizing them because you dont know them. Once you get to know them more their flaws and quirks will be revealed and you’ll see that theyre not so perfect and that maybe you dont even like them as much as you thought?
Cedric Grimwill - Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:49:54 EST VMzmKgcf No.533825 Reply
holy moly, OP doesn't fully accept that he's being pitied.

that means that you are not peers with them. they, rightfully in this instance, view themselves as above you, and you as beneath them. not in potential, but in this aspect of existence, socially and perhaps relating to where one is in life. you need to smack yousrelf in the face and back off. work on the shit in your life you know you need to do. there is nothing for you here, you are clawing blindly in a dark hole where nothing else exists.
oh i didn't realize you were homosexual. well the above applies, but a bit differently. do you really want this basically casual relationship? do you really want these guys to plow you in the ass? that's not something i can comment on for you, maybe you do and that's a good thing for you, in which case go ahead. are they just going to fuck you in the ass and cause you a lot of mental stress, but you stick around because you feel exactly as you do now? ultimately they have a ton of power over you, you are what i believe is called a "twink" if i am using the lingo correctly. that means that the inverse happens, which means they invite you in to connect and drop you when it suits them, not you. maybe you want to be that, again idk i can't decide for you. there are worse things in the world, frankly.
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:25:39 EST b2U4Jslk No.533828 Reply
Haha OP r u me
I have no advice

I mean, this is sadly possible and when you're a gay lo(n/s)er your compass can get so severely fucked not only by lack of use but also by the whirl of unfamiliar feelings, idealizations and wishes that come up that you're not sure what other peoples intentions are
But it's not 100% and I don't think OP has reason to be paranoid yet
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:34:17 EST b2U4Jslk No.533829 Reply
Oh wait I do have advice
DON'T be like me where you send them a long message explaining every little thing you're feeling now. Even if they react in a relatively positive way because they're conscious enough to know that a lot of people have weird inner emotional monologues it's still something that alters 'the evolution" of your friendship
But on the other hand, accepting that it's okay and possibly even kind of normal to feel the way that you do as long as you can maintain a measure of self-control might be helpful too
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:43:14 EST b2U4Jslk No.533830 Reply
Oh wait and I have more advice, sorry for triple posting, but I think it's important! It's something my therapist told me, which is that you can't assume that it meant nothing to do them. I prefer to see these early stage relationships as a collection of nascent potentialities, and every participant gets faint whiffs here and there while "playing it cool" to conceal vulnerability or demonstrate strength or... whatever reason (I actually don't know because I never play it cool lmao).
I think it would make less sense for someone to hang out with a person all night and for it to mean nothing than for it to have meant something of *some kind*.
I mean I kind of get it because it's like a counterbalance to your erotomania right and you've got that negative self-talk laid down as deeply entrenched neural pathways (tell me if I'm projecting too hard lmao) but all you really gotta do is let stuff unfold
Phyllis Turveyman - Sat, 29 Feb 2020 00:50:09 EST b2U4Jslk No.533831 Reply
okay i'm still posting too much i'm sorry but one more thing: also, "normal', non-desperate people aren't threatened by the uncertainty of these "potentialities" the way I assume you might be
to them *the mystique* is exciting and interesting because it doesn't matter as much to them whether they low or high roll, they already have support systems and such in place
Whereas you want them to talk to you, you want to know everything up front, you want that solid foundation NOW so you can stop worrying about what this means
I think that generally you have to play along with this because only a minority is probably going to be accepting of anything else, as excruciating as it is. It makes you a stronger and less insecure person in the long run too I think.

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