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a certain romanticism..

- Tue, 17 Mar 2020 22:22:43 EST VMzmKgcf No.534029
File: 1584498163839.jpg -(77537B / 75.72KB, 790x767) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. a certain romanticism..
Hey r9k I think I might seriously, unironically have a personality disorder. Maybe schizoid, or maybe i've just been addicted to drugs for too long and i've never really tried at life. i only just figured out how the trauma of my family life affected me.
i've been moved chemically to receive pleasure from the indulging of the desire for suicide, and the implications thereof; that was a defining thing about my life. i was cursed in this life, unironically. i had a genuine fate for suicide. things were so bad that i seared my mind and being with remorseless, all-consuming romanticism. even now i believe myself to be something far and away other than what i am..
it will probably lead me to suicide. certainly being like this will inevitably whittle my life away, never to build anything substantial, only here to.. do what, exactly?

INTP if you want to talk about that
George Bidgefield - Wed, 18 Mar 2020 06:43:36 EST KIvNwzY7 No.534033 Reply
>Hey r9k I think I might seriously, unironically have a personality disorder.
Then you must seriously, unironically see a mental health professional. You can even do so online.
Henry Driggleshit - Thu, 19 Mar 2020 12:07:36 EST XHgC+rDf No.534039 Reply
Hello, OP. I just want to tip you off (a bit late, lol) that many people here are frustrated by now with the influx of people from your neck of the woods because it brings a lot of meanness and stress. Telling people to kill themselves, racist/sexist/transphobic junk, generally uncivil conduct. Shitposting, lol.

But as you yourself have not actually done anything, I would like to say hello, and yes, please see a therapist and if that therapist is not helpful to you (you feel worse after seeing them, they don't listen, you don't notice yourself functioning any better or becoming less suicidal, they do something unethical), you are well within your rights to fire them and find someone better. Foreshortened sense of future and expecting to die by suicide/die young is extremely common with childhood trauma and it's not something you should just have to sit with.
Emma Shittingstone - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 13:04:31 EST TVjit2tT No.534058 Reply
Go to a doc. But be prepared to do a litany of various psych drugs since it isn't an exact science. And don't get down if none of them work. I don't recommend group therapy or in-patient shit as it depletes so much money and for me was just a bunch of touchy-feely bullshit. For a socially isolated anti-social retard, having some frail black dude ask me how I could think more positively 14 times a day drove me batshit insane. Also, being asked if I was having suicidal thoughts or homicidal thoughts every 10 minutes and having to write it out pissed me off, you'll feel like a prisoner and still be expected to pay bills while loosing your job sitting in a run-down converted middle school building while being talked down to. Shit sucked. Never mention you feel suicidal or like hurting others. Deny, deny, deny. You don't want to get 5150'd. Trust me dude, that is like ruining your life without even getting to have the thrill of committing a crime.

>drugs lmao
James Clurringsted - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 15:55:57 EST VMzmKgcf No.534066 Reply
I won't lie, that sounds pretty unpleasant. Perhaps the state isn't the best method to mold one's personality
Wesley Sallerway - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 16:18:23 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534067 Reply
I found counselling/therapy useful but
>it was weekly sessions I chose to do it
>I made sure I jived with the therapist and his outlook
>this shit requires you engage with it and so you need feel like the approach and outlook work for you
>Therapists have a lot of approaches and outlooks, this isn't just medical it's a general worldview and you need to jive with it
>If you just feel you're wasting your time you are, doesn't mean all therapy has to be like that if you agree with their approach worldview and outlook

If it seems like I'm saying the same thing it's because a lot of people miss this. Your therapist has their own worldview and if it doesn't match yours and their approach to sorting the problem doesn't make sense it will just feel like an idiot talking at you. You need to have a conversation with someone who understands you. They can help you understand and remove stupid thought patterns, mitigate them or just develop coping mechanisms.

If that therapist doesn't share an understanding of emotions and feelings with you you won't relate. Shop around. Group and inpatient sound like shit, how can you connect and open up to a whole room of different minds perhaps very carefully chosen groups may work in an authentic way? If you're stuck with a therapist how do you know it will help? You don't choose those usually though, you get shoved in them when you fuck up.

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