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Boyfriends BFF is a sociopath.

- Thu, 07 May 2020 22:18:14 EST DolwC/Df No.534492
File: 1588904294902.jpg -(27008B / 26.38KB, 599x569) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Boyfriends BFF is a sociopath.
I started dating a guy a few months ago and we are madly in love. We are like made for eachother in every way possible and we are very happy together. We have yet to move in together, but we have spent two months together non-stop everyday so we are sure about moving forward with this.

Currently we live 300 km away from eachother, and due to work and the logistics of merging our lifes, we have decided that it will be 6-12 months before we move in together more permanently and that's fine. He is the one and he feels likewise towards me.

Now the problem is his roomate who had also been his best friend for 10 years. She is a total sociopath, always surrounded by tons of drama, is an toxic alcoholic, etc. A friend of ours recently killed himself, I think partly because she fucked him over while fucking several of his friends at the same time (classic sociopath behaviour). She requiers attention and needs to be in the center of everything. 99 % of everything she says is more or less about her, which in itself is pretty impressive tbh. She is so caught up in her own bullshit that I honestly feel sorry for her, but I don't get why anyone would like to spend time with her (apart from her looks).

Anyway, I've always been nice and polite towards her, not because I like her but because she is his friend and I do not wish to be on bad terms with her. However, I can't really say that I want her anywhere near me. Or him for that matter, but I do not believe it is my place to dictate who he is friends with, just as I would not like him to dictate who my friends are.

Today she got drunk (which is often) and decided to invade our privacy and simply jump into his bed where we were halfnaked. It was fine I guess, we talked for a bit (she went on about her issues, more or less ignoring any insight I had to offer and mainly talking to him) and then she started crying and he told her she could sleep with us instead of her own bed. (I believe I should have atleast been consulted prior to presenting that offer to her, I do understand that he was just being a considerate friend tho.) And she said yes.

I have issues with sleeping with people I am not closed to. But I guess that slipped his mind, we had a long day and we were both tired and I decided to give it a shot anyway and not say anything. After all, his friend is important to him. I felt anxious tho and realised that I would not be able to sleep so I simply went up and left. After a 10 minutes walk I went over to a good friend of mine where I will be sleeping tonight.

I sent him a text and told him not to worry, mentioned where I was and told him to take care of his friend in a neutral tone. He replied and thanked me for being so understanding.

Now the thing is, I really dislike her and believe she is a shitty influence. I do however like the fact that he has his own free will, but idk how I feel about him inviting an attentionseeking and drunk sociopath to sleep with us. I am wrong to feel wierd about it?

I am not mad at him, since I do believe his intentions were pure. There is also the fact that she tried to have sex with him just when we started seeing eachother (an offer he politely declined). They had threesome sometime last year tho. She has also been upset about the fact that we have been loosely planning the future moving in together part, like the fact that he will be moving to my town (which is bigger and better even careerwise) because she is so afraid of losing him.

Truthfully, I want that bitch as far away from him as possible because she is legit crazy and it just feels like sooner or later that crazy might cause drama for me. Obviously I won't make him choose between his love and his best friend, but how the fuck should act in all this?

I am not the jealous type, nor I am insecure. I know my own value and won't tolerate shit once it starts pouring down on me, but it would suck if someones elses shitty life begins to affect my relationship and potentially fuck shig up for me.

Any advice is welcome.
Fuck Fadgeson - Thu, 07 May 2020 23:22:27 EST 3ScQQ4dj No.534493 Reply
literally tell him all of this word for word
that bed thing was a major breach though what the fuck? you have to be assertive about your boundaries, that shit doesn't sit well with the majority of people
Ian Bungerman - Fri, 08 May 2020 10:44:19 EST USUZpST+ No.534494 Reply
you sound more than reasonable, if he can't see that she's an issue then that's a problem
Hamilton Gammerfere - Fri, 08 May 2020 10:53:39 EST KEmQe8DO No.534495 Reply
Yeah print this out and give it to him.
John Tillingstone - Fri, 08 May 2020 20:52:25 EST p8iHLAWA No.534500 Reply
How old is everyone involved?
Hugh Nicklehood - Sat, 09 May 2020 04:02:30 EST DpRLMwcY No.534505 Reply
roommate seems like his other girlfriend (best friend thats a crazy girl and has had sex with him tht he invites to sleep with you he was porbaby going for another threesome
William Hoppernuck - Sun, 10 May 2020 04:45:43 EST UJylmqUI No.534518 Reply

why everyone gotta diagnose everyone. Sociopath isn't even a real thing

Sounds like she needs serious help. People with Anti social personality disorder don't have emotions like that, she has all the emotions and no control over them
Albert Sedgenick - Tue, 12 May 2020 11:10:45 EST XiHtpV2+ No.534542 Reply
This really sucks OP and I really hope it doesn't (but I kinda know it will) end in heartbreak for you.
Thomas Disslegold - Tue, 12 May 2020 13:43:56 EST qTml9FbR No.534545 Reply

>been together every day for two months
>know he's the one

Something doesn't quite connect for me
Molly Heffingketch - Wed, 13 May 2020 07:29:32 EST ngHTuAx8 No.534556 Reply
Yeah no offense but you're rushing in a bit early. You dont know how you'll think about him after the sparkle wears off.

You also seem to be putting all the blame on her where to be honest his behavior is much more shitty. Shes not in a relationship with anyone. He is. He crossed a line and invited a woman that was drunk and had sexual experience with him, into your bed. It's not a behavior that should be allowed in my experience. Sleeping together for several hours with no one around and pure physical lust. Its prime cheating opportunity. It kinda is cheating but maybe you've jumped the gun on what your relationship means to him right now. Dunno
Jack Summleville - Thu, 14 May 2020 19:47:04 EST h82wmrnd No.534585 Reply
Or they could just become polygamous and with OP being first wife, gets to use second wife as sex slave. All problems solved.
Beatrice Sondlebury - Thu, 14 May 2020 20:53:21 EST 3xVrj3us No.534587 Reply
Imo don't poke the bear. avoid her as much as possible while being neutral verging on warm, and non-threatening. with these types of people, it's the best to be boring as shit. they'll just lose interest in you. Sterile responses. Not much reaction. She'll get bored and leave you alone at least, although not your boyfriend. Just be nice BUT don't give too much and just be fucking boring. I cannot repeat this enough. Be boring as fuck.

in terms of moving out, don't talk about it with her. just be like, yeah, one day probably, idk. she will definitely be a nightmare when he moves because it will light all of her abandonment issues on fire, but that's not gonna be for a while anyway, so in the meantime just focus on being incredibly boring when she's around.

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