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How Do I Accept I Am Unlovable

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- Sun, 10 May 2020 23:13:44 EST vvDr0STC No.534521
File: 1589166824313.jpg -(138283B / 135.04KB, 828x1792) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How Do I Accept I Am Unlovable
I have too many psych problems, too many physical problems, and I’m not physically attractive enough for them to be over looked. I try to use rejection as a tool to grow and be better next time. But all it has taught me is that I am 100% unlovable and unlikable. How do I not kill myself? How can I be happy knowing I will, for a fact, die alone?

It’s nobodies fault but my own, I don’t blame anyone. I just have to accept that this is how evolution works. The weak don’t get to be included or valid. They simply don’t, no matter what selfish assholes will say just to look like a good person.

I just have to accept it. Murderers and violent criminals are more worthy of love and family than me, it’s been proven over and over again.
So why should I stick around? I’m literally less worthy than the people that society says are the bottom of the barrel. How do I not sling a bullet through the roof of my mouth knowing that? What’s even the point? I don’t enjoy things or have fun anymore. Everything including eating is just a chore. Good food doesn’t taste good anymore... Why should I care about being alive? How do I not kill myself tonight?
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Emma Turveyson - Sun, 10 May 2020 23:33:11 EST TvHsihYW No.534522 Reply
Sounds like maladaptive thinking, I'd recommend therapy. Retrain the way you interpret things.
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Frederick Grimridge - Mon, 11 May 2020 01:00:02 EST wcqQCL4Z No.534523 Reply
1589173202705.jpg -(43193B / 42.18KB, 600x450) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>534521

You are worthy of love and I know there is at least one person in your life that loves you and cares about you. Romantic relationships and physical attractiveness aside, your family cares about you and your well being. If you have any family whatsoever in your life, cling to them and cherish them.

Listen man you could have hit the genetic lottery and still find a way to be miserable and want to off yourself. I understand some people are born with an upper hand, but it's all about playing the cards you were dealt. Try finding joy in something outside of personal relationships. Hobbies, nature, traveling, hell even drugs. Try to focus on you and treating yourself right. Maybe it's no consolation but there are so many happy disabled people out there that were dealt a shitty hand. It takes a strong character to overcome these kind of limitations, but it's possible.

I also recommend therapy. It's not an easy process but hopefully you can learn to cope my friend. You've got a toxic mindset and that type of thinking will get you know where. Glass half full shit, you need to at least try. One day at a time. I hope you figure it out. Much love!
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Hannah Pavingridge - Tue, 12 May 2020 10:32:38 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534541 Reply
>>534521
Frederick's post may seem saccharine and a bit trite but in essence when gets to that second paragraph he's right. You are looking for a way to abdictate from responsibilty, confirmation that some people cannot do certain things. The problem is OP just from reading this that you are not one of those people.

Yes life isn't fair, people get shit they don't deserve and vice versa but most people living on the "bottom of society" end up wallowing in shit. Seriously those awful people get friends like this guy

>>534524

That life is clearly not all its cracked up to be. He's just one of the ones who thinks he loves that life, he just likes the drugs and trappings.

I do feel you a bit, rejection can only teach you so much without success to contrast it with. But maybe you should focus on your other shit. Make a good life in terms of friends, health, hobbies and career. You are thirsty and desperate and have let it define you and it not only reduces your chance of finding real healthy love with someone good it also reduces the other good things. Life a life good in other terms and maybe love will come along. Maybe it won't but you will respect and care for yourself and that does make life pretty fun.
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Beatrice Clayspear - Tue, 12 May 2020 16:02:03 EST mttQWkrO No.534546 Reply
Wear black on the outside, as black as how you feel on the inside.
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Edwin Bevingstone - Wed, 13 May 2020 01:39:53 EST vBhLuYUb No.534553 Reply
>>534541
>end up wallowing in shit
Rightfully so. I'd be pretty pissed too if I lived in a roulette wheel existence and everyone looked down on me for being the loser, while also telling me that it was my fault I lost on top of that, lol.

But not all is lost! OP, you gotta accept the absolute garbage hand you've been dealt and keep trying to increase the chances of getting what you want anyway. Why keep going? Because you probably hope that it will be different one day.

>100% unlovable and unlikable
Can I ask how much exposure you have to real world people and not the cartoonish depictions of them on the internet?
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William Soddledock - Thu, 14 May 2020 11:12:23 EST ySK+6TA1 No.534580 Reply
>>534521
Sounds like you've already accepted it, way too much. I've got a solid history dealing with self-loathing. Probably the most important things I've come to understand are that nobody sees you or judges you even remotely as badly as you see and judge yourself, as well as that your are indulging in your self-loathing as a way to avoid actually making the necessary changes to improve yourself by convincing yourself of your over fantasized feelings utter pathetic worthlessness to escape the reality that you aren;t actually that pathetic or worthless and are ertainly capable of actually improving yourself and your life. You could probably say I'm projecting here, but let's face it man, all human beings fall into the samer patterns of behavior as a result of the human condition. The only difference between people are the specifics of the circumstances of the situation you find yourself in.

Most importantly I had to learn to accept that others don't view me as I view myself, even though my self-loathing was so intense that I felt as though I deserved being viewed that way and didn't actually care how they saw me because I thought I knew better and that how I saw myself was how I ought to be seen by everybody. Stop that shit, it's a coping mechanism meant to keep you in the same mindset indefinitely because feeling this way about yourself is all you know anymore--it's your comfort zone. You already struggle enough on a daily basis trying to reconcile why you even continue to live. The thought of trying and seriously putting effort into improving your life is too daunting to even approach or think about, you probably don't even have the first clue where to get started. You're so convinced of what you believe is going to result in inevitable failure that even if you did know what to do, you don't even see the point of trying.

Again, stop that shit. You're just using mental gymnastics to avoid taking responsibility for taking care of yourself and leaving your comfort zone. I know man, it's fucking hard. You just have to do it. It's the most annoying and infuriating answer, "just do it", but that's literally what's got to happen. Whenever I heard that it would drive me insane. How the fuck do you just do it? But I was being immature and too self-indulgent in my self-pity disguised as self-loathing. How do you just do something? You do it, you just do it. How do you put your shoes on? You just do it. You just do things all day long. You just have to bite the bullet and go out on a limb to finally put your all into actually attempting to improve. It took me be so sick of being sick of feeling how I felt all the time that when I got to a real low point and was asking myself why I'm still here in a very serious manner that I asked myself another question. Could I ever say I even really tried?

My gut reaction was to exclaim, "of course I tried.", but I was lying. I han been putting the absolute bare minimum effort into sustaining my existence that I possibly could because I was constantly trying to escape reality. So I decided with convinction, for the first time since I could ever remember, to try as hard as I could to improve whether I felt like I was seeing results or not. I was going to give it a few years to see how things went, because I was such a colossal fuck up that no semblance of improvement was going to be detectable for quite some time. I still had bad days, but I focused on my biggest problem: taking care of myself and sustaining my own existence. I needed to get and hold down a job and quit a black hole for all of my parent's resources. I needed to get a job that paid enough to get a place of my own, keep showing up to work everyday, and at least be responsible enough with my money to never need to borrow it from anybody.

After I set out to do that, I slowly accomplished those goals. I don;t know if you have difficulty holding down a job, but you'd be amazed how simply having a job and actually showing up everyday like you're supposed to improves your mood, self-image, and your sense of worth. From there I just had to keep picking new things to improve on. I'm still in the process of that )and still kind of struggling when it comes to things like keeping my living area clean, etc.), and I'm never going to stop being the process of it. There's never a reason not to keep trying to improve. It's a lot of work and serious effort, but the emotional and psychological payoff is something you can't pay for or get from using a drug. Every once in a while I still relapse and go through a strong bout of self-loathing, but i always tell myself I'm being an overly critical dumb fuck, and to relax because I'll be back to normal within 3 days... and I always am. Usually after a single night of sleep I'm back to normal now. For once in my adult life I'm not retardedly depressed or even depressed at all.
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George Serrylot - Fri, 15 May 2020 16:04:41 EST VVER+Pn7 No.534601 Reply
1589573081266.jpg -(106972B / 104.46KB, 736x1105) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>534521
Whenever I feel like this I try to remind myself that being "lovable" and "likable" are not necessarily good qualities. You allude to what I'm about to say when you say "Murderers and violent criminals are more worthy of love than me". What I was about to say is looks at Ted Bundy. Dude had women lining up to send him love letters and wedding fucking proposals. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE LESS DESERVING OF LOVE. If anything, all it rreally means is that people are fucked up with how and who they choose to love. e.g. - THEY'RE the fucked up ones not you. I like to tell myself that in reality I'm evolutionarily superior to not everyone else but most everyone else. So much so that I'm unlikable because I experience reality in a far more colorful and exhilirating way than other people do. And that makes me feel good. Some may say that I just have an inflated ego but for right now I need and want that inflated ego to make me feel good. If I need to deflate my ego I can do so at a later time. Anyways, that's how I try to deal with the feelings you have talked about and that's what helps me.
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Frederick Hazzledock - Fri, 15 May 2020 16:14:38 EST 49/hf0JB No.534602 Reply
>unlovable
Love yourself.

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