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Wife undergoing mania

- Wed, 27 May 2020 10:18:50 EST MVET1pY2 No.534702
File: 1590589130341.jpg -(824960B / 805.62KB, 3020x2859) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Wife undergoing mania
I just had my wife taken to a mental ward because she's been undergoing a manic episode for a week now and I can't handle it anymore. I can't handle someone who can't acknowledge that their mode of thinking is no longer in line with our plain of reality, to the detriment of her relationships with everyone around her and to the detriment (most fucking importantly to me) of her ability to care for our 1 year old daughter.

She hates and resents me for this now. She had bad experiences with the medical system a decade ago and she feels like this is a total violation of her trust in me, for me to be committing her into the hands of that system now, but I don't know what to do. She isn't all here and you can't fucking talk to her about it properly because she's so irritable and just fucking talks and talks for hours at a time if you do try to engage with her.

Knowing her like I do, I have a feeling that once she comes back down to earth and is thinking a bit more realistically, she's still going to hate and resent me for having her put away. She'll never forgive me for this. But I just didn't know what to do, I felt like I was out of options and if I didn't put her in the hands of professionals then it would have been me who'd just suffer a total emotional breakdown and I would have ended up there.

What the fuck do I do? I feel like this is going to be the potential end of our marriage. I can't fucking deal with her anymore but I don't want to split with her. I'm just so tired of it all, I just want her to be normal again. I'm tired of her obsessions, I'm tired of her social awkwardness. I just want her to be grounded. I want someone who I can talk to about inconsequential everyday things. I feel like in retrospect the cheese has been slipping off her cracker for a long while now and I'm only just seeing it.
Doris Sallerfot - Wed, 27 May 2020 11:09:40 EST umzxvBnX No.534703 Reply
If you successfully Baker Acted your own wife, obviously there was enough going on where medical professionals agreed with you.
Hugh Pedgemere - Wed, 27 May 2020 12:07:12 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534705 Reply
Honestly I feel for you here. It's a difficult thing but remember there's someone vulnerable who did not ask to be involved in this shit and by removing her from the situation and this is probably the only chance you have to get through to your wife. She has to understand that her daughter comes first. If she cannot function as a human it's terrible for that little girl's mental health. Maybe there is long term treatment and control and you can get a functional wife back. Though it doesn't sound like it.

Maybe you can at least repair your relationship enough that she can have time with your daughter without conflict between you. Maybe she won't trust you again in which case the relationship is done but maybe she'll at least understand.

but what choice did you have? I mean you had a lot of choices and all of them were bad for the most innocent person in this shit. 2 crazy parents is not a good place to be.
Martin Murdworth - Wed, 27 May 2020 21:08:36 EST jnas4L6T No.534710 Reply
This is a rough one. Reminds me of when I tried to save a junkie girlfriend. Sorry for your pain, I have nothing to contribute. Just try to raise that kid.
Cyril Mezzledat - Wed, 27 May 2020 23:24:08 EST AkhFj7nB No.534711 Reply
I've been in your wife's shoes, at least when it comes to manic psychosis and the medical system baggage
personally no I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive that, or regain the trust, I wouldn't end the relationship over it but that's on me and my reactions, I'd feel like dirt and like I'm crawling back to an abuser, like I'm caged in with one my jailers, and if this ended up costing me my marriage and child I dunno I don't want to say anything out of turn or to scare you but I would probably kill myself, I'm already in my head about how much of life this illness has cost me

but the other posters are right your daughter comes first, she can't let her illness destroy other people, especially a child, I don't know if there was any better way you could have handled it I'm not in your shoes but for her at least you did the right thing
I'm so sorry for all of you man, whatever happens stay strong for her sake
Emma Sammlehood - Thu, 28 May 2020 07:10:10 EST MVET1pY2 No.534712 Reply
A short update.

She was in the emergency department until midday today, at which point the assessment team had her transferred to an open ward. She's calmed down now, is a lot more forgiving and understanding of why I had her taken.

She's obviously still not thinking straight, but she's at least gained some level of insight and awareness that allows her to recognise that she's been acting in a way that isn't healthy or normal, and that some time in an inpatient facility could actually be beneficial to her overall health. An example being, she's 5'7 and they weighed her in at 56kg and have assigned a dietician to her because she's quite underweight. She looks forward to regaining some sort of healthy relationship with food (her and food has always been a problem. Not an anorexic thing but just this weird sensitivity to tastes and textures that's make eating most things an unpleasant experience)

Things are looking up for her, she's even open to the idea of taking some medication (seroquel) if her mind continues to race rapidly. This is a significant step, considering how anti-drug and anti-psychiatry she can sometimes be. She's suggested she'd be comfortable with staying there for at least a week.

Unfortunately I can't visit her. I went to visit her but I sniffed my runny nose while waiting in the reception area, and they then refused to let me in without providing negative test results for corona. My wife had a very bad cold about a month ago, which I fell sick with two and a half weeks ago and have since recovered from with the exception of an occasional runny nose. She got tested twice and was negative both times but apparently that's not good enough, they need a negative from me, so now I have to self-isolate at home until I get my test results in the next 1 to 3 days.

That's not so bad. Now I'm sat here alone drinking whisky and ginger beer, watching Star Trek TNG and playing Civ VI while our daughter is in bed asleep. I think I really need this down time.

Thanks for all your replies guys, you gave me some good for thought and comfort. Hopefully things will continue to get better from here on out.
Sophie Wullerway - Thu, 28 May 2020 07:32:42 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534713 Reply
She definitely needs long term management of the problem, it sounds like this has been an issue a long time but has just gotten worse because it was never addressed. Presumably her shitty experience relates to the same problem but the doctors completely fucked it up.

If she has some sort of variant of manic depression then it's rare that it can be managed through therapy and usually is just the brain being fucky. However there may be some other issues (like her relationship with food) which are made worse/provoked or just completely coincidental with that.

Hopefully the dieticiain will find her healthy foods she can eat in enough quantity to be less malnourished or otherwise help broaden whatever it is with her palette. I don't imagine a poor diet is good for her brain either.

I guess see how it goes. Good luck.
Emma Sammlehood - Thu, 28 May 2020 07:53:18 EST MVET1pY2 No.534714 Reply
>If she has some sort of variant of manic depression then it's rare that it can be managed through therapy and usually is just the brain being fucky.
She was diagnosed as type I bipolar a decade ago. It runs in her family; her mother, father, and a younger brother all have it. Her mother was hospitalised for a manic psychotic episode about 14 years ago, her brother just last year (both episodes were triggered by being prescribed SSRIs without a mood stabilizer). Her initial psychotic episode was also triggered by being prescribed with an SSRI, which was prescribed due to a prolonged depressed spell as a result of PTSD from being raped a year or two previously.

She was on medication (lithium and an anti-depressant) until 2016, not long before I met her. I've only ever known her while un-medicated. Somehow, some way, she had the mental willpower and persistence to avoid falling into mania for 4 whole years. Despite this impressive feat, I'm realizing that 1. this is a chemical imbalance that requires chemical help and 2. she has longstanding traumas and mental issues that she (despite her insistence otherwise) has still not gotten over after over a decade and needs serious professional help with.

With this episode now, I'm looking back at everything and I'm realizing that she's mentally been on a long downward slope, slowly deteriorating. She's definitely not the same person she was when I first met her. I guess her progression was akin to that of a glacier - very slow, not noticeable to the naked eye, but it was definitely moving. Moving slow enough that you just 'get used to' her increasingly erratic behaviour; slow changes can become normal. It's only with the outburst of mania in the last week like a sudden supernova that it's suddenly all become very obvious.

There is a lot to do and a lot to rebuild. Hopefully she can come out of this with a more stable approach to her problems.
Fucking Gammerkork - Thu, 28 May 2020 11:01:05 EST bgNsrXdi No.534716 Reply
> If she has some sort of variant of manic depression then it's rare that it can be managed through therapy only
You still need therapy as part of your return to health.
Sophie Wullerway - Thu, 28 May 2020 14:46:43 EST 1SSFeKJF No.534718 Reply
Yeah on second thought I concur. Beyond putting a tiny bit of steer on her brain she could learn coping mechanisms to limit the damage. Therapy will help with some of her other issues too. If her PTSD isn't sorted she needs therapy for that too.

What OP describes is the boiling a frog phenomena.

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