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What age did you stop addressing your parents as "Mother/Father

- Sat, 27 Jun 2020 01:49:17 EST yal3LfZo No.535132
File: 1593236957350.jpg -(24354B / 23.78KB, 552x358) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What age did you stop addressing your parents as "Mother/Father
is there a certain age where you started calling your parents by name when talking with them in conversation as an adult? I haven't ever seen or heard about such a thing, and now I am genuinely curious what others have to say on the matter. I have an older sibling who came from a different father than me. My father was abusive to her, our mother, basically everyone except me as his son. You can imagine, growing up, this built resentments long after they were all split apart and everyone went separate ways.

Well, for whatever reason, that same older sibling insists on calling our mother by name, to forever reinstate that she's a person, with her own identity separate from being our mother. I don't find that hard to understand at all, and for the most part it feels generally weird because the look and tone my sister has around me for as long as I've grown up carrying on my abusive Father's name, is a look of fear and wide-eyed paranoia. All my life, basically every memory I have of this older sister, I was looked at with the fear that I would at any level be like my abusive father, which I've already known on my own since I was little to be better than.

I mean, fuck, Idk. Im just sensing a weird vibe whenever this name thing comes up about how to address my own mother. It's never fully been made into a debate on either side, or even discussed like this... it's just something I notice being shown by example in a rather pompous manner when it happens. What am I supposed to do? Im old enough and at the point where they're both essentially cut out from my life due to basically every coworker and friend I ever had suggesting doing so, except for phone calls long distance which someone here recommended I keep it at when I last came here to post a couple years back. Thing is, where they are I have a lot of my things in a storage unit and my mother is maintaining that until we mail it all over to me. I avoid letting things reach any sort of peak with my mom because if things don't go smoothly for her then she'd just threaten to let all my shit fly to the wind. Mostly it's books and a PS4, a custom built ouija board worth a couple hundred dollars and some clothes and other valuables etc.

that's all folks, advice appreciated
Jenny Noppersit - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 01:58:00 EST yal3LfZo No.535133 Reply
1593237480350.jpg -(98881B / 96.56KB, 576x534) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
mind you, last I posted here it was because my mother relapsed on alcohol and had an outburst at their house while I was over that lead to physical violence and was later was blamed on Me so I ended up in jail for a short time over the fact it wasn't my property to even restrain an attacker/my own drunk mother. That was when all my shit ended up in storage, because I had to stay in jail for a few weeks before getting a short probation afterwards. I know this shit is all fucked up, but like, with what little is left to salvage of the relationship, any advice?
Basil Pockwill - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 09:36:31 EST g4l1+StW No.535140 Reply
Get away from them for a few years to work on yourself separately from them. Jail can ruin your life.
Basil Pockwill - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 09:37:22 EST g4l1+StW No.535141 Reply
And get rid of your stuff in storage. As a young adult you get two suitcases and a computer bag and that's it. If you can't fit it in there, let it go... Let it go...
[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 11:23:15 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535144 Reply
I think everyone I know still calls their parents "mom" or "dad" except for one guy I was friends with in school. When him and his parents turned 16, his mom made them call her by her first name. It was a bit weird when I first found out, but I didn't mind it.
Martin Socklekone - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 16:19:28 EST ySK+6TA1 No.535149 Reply
Generally either the parents have some weird emotional hangups if they expect to be called by their first names except in certain situations (like getting their attention), or their children have some weird emotional hangups and call them by their names to signify their perceived emotional and social "distance" from them, often to show disrespect. Otherwise, in most cultures there isn't an age where it is typical to stop referring to one's parents as mom/mother or dad/father.
Jenny Noppersit - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 18:51:38 EST yal3LfZo No.535151 Reply
1593298298350.jpg -(1763864B / 1.68MB, 1242x1345) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
> Get rid if your stuff in storage
That's the plan at least regarding furniture.

All the rest is safe and compacted, gotta get it all back otherwise that jail stay really did take something from me personally other than time.

Okay, cool.... I knew it was a weird emotional hangup. I think it's like a weird way of trying to show respect rather than not, like we shouldn't call her mom because she's her own person and shit. Weird is definitely the vibe I always sensed from it all.
thank you for replying. Needed outside perspective on this before I stated how abnormal it feels.
I live far away from them now. I just want my shit back from them and staying in touch is the only way. It's clear to me my mother is keeping it this way as long as she can to avoid losing me entirely.
Augustus Seddleford - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 20:28:22 EST ZLNL16wy No.535152 Reply
sounds tough OP, take care of yourself.

I have always called my parents by their names. I also referred to all teachers by the first name, without honorific.

Pater familiar and mater familiar is what I go to for when I feel they're overreaching.

Apart from that, we're much better as friends than family. Talking to them as humans without the disconnect, but with the shared history has really brought us closer.
[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 23:47:56 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535166 Reply
I forgot about teachers. All my teachers used Mr. or Miss until year 11 and 12 when they all wanted us to use their first names. I used to get in trouble for just calling them "Miss" or "Sir" because I couldn't be bothered learning their names.
Cedric Dablinghick - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 00:38:49 EST UglurXVu No.535174 Reply
now that's also weird.

Mr. ____ or mrs. whatever is how my teachers all throughout grade school to graduation let us address them. Your own parents though? Extra weird tbh
[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 09:50:26 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535176 Reply
I think the idea behind it is to get you ready for university or work, where you probably don't address people other than with their first name, at least in my experience. It was never actually explained why they only wanted the first name though.
Shit Brevingbury - Fri, 03 Jul 2020 23:53:36 EST jnas4L6T No.535221 Reply

you mean in your experience as an incestuous pedophile?
[name redacted] !h55/E7mIo6 - Sun, 05 Jul 2020 03:23:24 EST 4u/9lb1b No.535243 Reply
There's my stalker, you should really seek therapy. Chasing me around and replying to all my posts seems sort of obsessive.

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