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I tricked myself into thinking I'm an artist

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- Thu, 06 Aug 2020 23:05:43 EST XXR+yDXG No.535631
File: 1596769543651.jpg -(43727B / 42.70KB, 450x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I tricked myself into thinking I'm an artist
I realized I don't really have anything to say. All my songs are just about some pleasure I've had in the past or one I'm having in the moment, or my desire for one. I thought all I wanted to live for was to create and express and help other people struggling with similar struggles as me but I don't have ANYTHING worthwhile to say, do I? I just wanted the ego satisfaction of thinking I'm so great because I would eventually get some degree of fame or notoriety or appreciation. I just want pleasure. I'm just living for pleasure. I can't give a damn about anything else really. I hardly even care about my loved ones in a real and practical way. I say I love them, and that I'm there for them, but I don't go out of my way to help them. I don't check on them. I've even resented them and hated them at times. I'm not really looking for advice. I just wanted to say it somewhere. I wish I had the balls to kill myself. Because I'm a fucking waste. I'm sorry I failed.
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Phoebe Billingdale - Fri, 07 Aug 2020 11:00:43 EST 4f3Y2rMo No.535637 Reply
1596812443367.gif -(926446B / 904.73KB, 480x256) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>535631
its alright
maybe youre hitting the other point at the scale and then youll realise youre somewhat in the middle. of course you dont really want to know what is good for you and maybe looking for a protector might not be it either. but maybe youre not in trouble anyways. so no reason for killing thoughts, no failure, just experiencing some good old reality check. enjoy ;-)
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Cyril Dangersodge - Fri, 07 Aug 2020 22:05:52 EST dqut4KWs No.535643 Reply
1596852352224.png -(1363347B / 1.30MB, 1000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>535631

I had the same problem to a light extent, that We all live for pleasure because we all want to be happy in the end, no? Everyone would love being famous, that's just human nature. It's not healthy to believe you're some secret egoist, it will get you nowhere especially if you want to improve you're music. Perhaps take some time out of music to focus on yourself? You seem to be putting a lot of your self worth in one place, and that's a recipe for disaster man.
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Edwin Worthingfield - Fri, 07 Aug 2020 22:55:40 EST 4hBEIt21 No.535644 Reply
>>535643
I just don't know what to do. I'm like a raw electric signal with no wire, no route. If I don't attach myself to something in an intense way I feel too lost. I start to think I'm a ghost. It's like, why do I get up in the morning? Why can't I find a purpose and stick to it and make forward momentum? I don't like the feeling of existing for no reason. I don't like existing in pointlessness. I need meaning.
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Ebenezer Fuckleketch - Sat, 08 Aug 2020 07:37:15 EST Wv0LJm+H No.535647 Reply
>>535631
>All my songs are just about some pleasure I've had in the past or one I'm having in the moment, or my desire for one.
Rid yourself of desire and let go of attachments. You could be the coomer Ben Folds.
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Matilda Pibberstock - Mon, 10 Aug 2020 19:17:31 EST pNHNU/oC No.535687 Reply
>>535631
This post feels like one of those cliche moments where the struggling actor finally has that “raw emotion we were looking for.”
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Nell Gullystirk - Wed, 12 Aug 2020 09:08:57 EST TtXni/Rr No.535702 Reply
>>535631

dude you have a very narrow definition of "artist", widen that. you got brainwashed by this awful "famous or worthless" doctrine which is getting stronger and stronger nowadays.

Keep expressing yourself and making things that you feel are worth making and forget about the audience and don't tie your self esteem and self worth into what you do, because your worth is an unchanging constant
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Lillian Wazzlefock - Wed, 12 Aug 2020 09:12:27 EST VAcauGzm No.535703 Reply
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>>535702
I was gonna roast you in that other thread for being dumb but you're alright.
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Priscilla Brumbletud - Wed, 12 Aug 2020 16:19:00 EST XXR+yDXG No.535706 Reply
>>535702
yeah i'm definitely brainwashed. i'm trying to untie my self-worth from the results of my actions, and just enjoy the actions i wanna do for the sake of enjoying them, artistic or not. it's hard though. easy to forget sometimes.

also i just wish more people were into it :/ bahhh see? sucked in again
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Uzd2that - Thu, 13 Aug 2020 19:10:42 EST itytveJA No.535721 Reply
>>535631

Hey OP, this is something that artists go through. You'll bounce back.

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