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- Fri, 11 Sep 2020 11:40:59 EST ACi57ccn No.536114
File: 1599838859016.png -(242504B / 236.82KB, 600x521) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. HELP
>be me
>happy go lucky college student in late 2013
>Meet girl fall in love yaddah yaddah
>we're both psychonauts (drug addicts)
>Start doing a lot of psychedelics (5-meo, 2cb, LSD etc)
>smoke weed all day every day
>Also doing a lot of drinking around this time and this is where my memory starts to fade
>We basically ignore the world around us, only hanging out with a small group of hippies and Burning Man types.
>Spend a shit ton of time camping, barley ever at our apartment we share
>At some point me and girl drop out and move to Thailand, i start teaching English
>I get off drinking but start taking massive amounts of benzos and barbs
>me and girl were so into astral projection and transcending existence on Earth that we basically ignore the entire state of the world and news for two years
>we eventually both end up cheating on each other and we have a huge fight and break things off
>Meet a different Thai hippie woman who is rich enough to take care of me and basically we start doing almost the exact same shit as i did with my ex
>this goes on for another year and my memory gets extremely fuzzy at this point.
>get in bike accident and go to hospital, don't remember any of it but apparently was in coma for a few days
>memory is now fucked even further
>at some point i end up flying back to US, don't even remember how it all happened
>end up staying with my old best friend from high school on the west coast, he informs me that people in my home town think i died, i had kept in touch occasionally with my parents but that's it.
>explain to him what i remember happened over the last 6 years
>he informs me of all the shit that has happened in the world since then, i'm blown away by just how bad everything is.
>i was aware of minor things, like i realized Trump was actually president and it wasn't a joke while i was in Bangkok and started seeming him everywhere on tv and on t shirts and trinkets
>but had no idea the world had been getting this bad while i was literally living in my own head
>he's much more put together in life and suggests i go to rehab which i agree is what i need
>contact my family and end up in a in patient facility within a week and a half
>have seizures getting off the benzos and barbs but i am able to complete the program
>almost right as i get out of treatment and move back in with my folks for the first time in ten years Covid hits
>As my memory and awareness slowly and steadily has been coming back to me i now realize just how fucked my life, my situation and my country in general is.

I'm completely at a loss rn, i had no idea things were this bad or were going to get this bad. I was planning on using my sobriety to go back to school and get a job but now i'm just stuck inside doing zoom classes to start my degree program and absorbing just how fucked the state of the country and world is rn. I spent over six years just literally in my own world with either a gf by my side or just alone. I am wholly unprepared for civil conflict in November and i have no idea what to do with my life. I know it's my fault but i do partly think the psychedelics switched something in my brain that made me just decide to shut off society for years, now society is breathing down my neck and i'm fucked.
>>
Shit Werrydock - Fri, 11 Sep 2020 12:02:12 EST 1SSFeKJF No.536116 Reply
>>536114
What you need is some perspective.

The world is a shit show but even those of us who have been living in it are still regularly shocked and apalled right now. Your problem isn't that you've missed the events just that you're not used to dealing. You can re learn it. Plenty of people have spun their wheels and only got in gear later in life. Trump got the minority last election and despite the democrats' best efforts probably will again. Your memory issue is funny. You probably were hazy because drugs affect that shit but you also don't have a sober memory of the accident, that probably wiped a lot out. At the end of the day either way it was fun at the time but not sustainable and a bit empty. But hey you can't regret not doing it, a lot of people wish they had and you never will.

You probably didn't have a switch switched. It was just easy and fun. A lot of people do it or would. I think you were just high and didn't give a fuck because you were too high fo that shit. A bit reductive but honestly it doesn't matter, it's in the past. The past is why you're here but beyond that why does it matter? It can't be changed.

Right now you won't be easily able to get a job, a lot of people got hit with this shit too. You at least are in a position where you can build yourself up and study, you can't get out and find a job but you can improve your employability and capabilities.

But don't stop there, make sure you have good habits, eat well, hydrate, exercise. It will help you recover and cope and give you another feeling of progress. You are in a situation where you at least have steer in the long term and stability in the short term. You are reliant on your parents but if you show commitment to bettering yourself then they will be a lot more patient too. Regardless of your mistakes if they see a youngish man trying to better his lot they'll respect that once the initial shock and relief wears off. You will be amazed at the transformation in yourself. You've already shown a lot of capacity for introspection so do what you can. Maybe if you still have time and energy after that (you might not initially but if it starts to become easy) take up a hobby, or volunteer or something.
>>
Sidney Mudgenan - Fri, 11 Sep 2020 17:47:09 EST ACi57ccn No.536122 Reply
>>536116
"But don't stop there, make sure you have good habits, eat well, hydrate, exercise. It will help you recover and cope and give you another feeling of progress. You are in a situation where you at least have steer in the long term and stability in the short term."

Very sound advice that i'm trying my hardest to commit myself entirely too. I guess i'm in a better position then some because i don't feel the intense bitterness and anger i seem to notice a lot of people are feeling today. My situation is more about a feeling of complete confusion and alienation. My memory is so foggy after being sober for the first time in 8 years that i just have this overwhelming sense of being lost and not knowing who i am or where i come from. But the only path forward IS forward so i'm planning on keeping everything in my life simple and productive as much as i can. In the meantime i'm watching the new documentary Feels Good Man to help me understand how internet culture has changed since i've been logged off lol.
>>
Archie Collyhood - Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:04:28 EST jnas4L6T No.536124 Reply
honestly dude this is a pretty great time to have nothing going for you and be stuck at home with your parents because there is zero shame attached since so many people were unexpectedly shoved into the situation. i have had to move back in with family before covid and felt a great deal of shame like i failed, took me years to overcome that. i dunno if that is helpful or makes any sense but its my take
>>
Cyril Greenfield - Sun, 13 Sep 2020 19:12:31 EST pv7fDB/U No.536160 Reply
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>>536114
Damn my man that’s a pretty interesting story. Getting dropped into 2020 without much memory or awareness of what transpired the last 5 years sounds like a trip! We’re you not on the internet that much while you were living overseas? And yeah things are pretty fucked for you if you’re an American ngl. But that isn’t reason to give up hope. I will say this though you have about 50 days to get a gun before the election. You might want to get yourself some protection and have your passport handy just as a plan B if shit goes south.
>>
Cornelius Serrywill - Mon, 14 Sep 2020 04:03:45 EST StwWjX3r No.536161 Reply
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>>536160
OP here, yeah neither my ex or i were into politics and news that much, we just never payed that much attention even in college. We, at least i am now i can't speak for her at this point, were both pretty moderate centrists on most issues.But again we we're into art, nature, lifestyle everything outside of that shit. Then when we moved overseas i didn't have social media except for a photo blog i made so we became even more disengaged from what was going on in America, plus all the drugs/amnesia.
>>536124
This is true, from what i can see on Facebook a lot of people i went to school with are losing jobs and moving back into their families or just downsizing in general. Tbh i wish i had stayed in Thailand as i'm pretty sure their Covid numbers are really low and life is already back to normal all things considered.
>>
Beatrice Grimfuck - Tue, 15 Sep 2020 10:51:04 EST G0ncPuvZ No.536173 Reply
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>>536161
yeah actually, go back to thailand, or I guess it's too late.

I wish I could leave this country every damn day. I found out that more and more people have been leaving since trump was elected, and I was looking into it, but the literaly numbers are depressing AF:

Only like 8000 Americans managed to change citizenship last year. How the fuck am I supposed to be one of those 8k without a finished degree? Shits rough

Honestly, the fact you were able to coherently type the OP story is a good sign. You are still smarter and more coherent than most internet denizens, and the fact you have such a self-awareness is only a good thing. Do no self-destruct! Be real to yourself and your emotions! Sometimes all we get out of life is a good story. Chill and we will all get through this shit in one way or another. At least that's what I tell myself when I can't sleep
>>
Eugene Blarryfid - Tue, 15 Sep 2020 17:23:35 EST 871A6JhM No.536176 Reply
>>536173
seconding this. I sympathize with OP, I'm between jobs myself and been living with my parents since finishing college. In a way it's let me drop out of the world the way you did, but with less drugs and memory problems. I think life's a crucible we have to forge ourselves in and it's very hard but the overarching task of life, so, at least we have a lifetime.
>>
Cyril Lightford - Wed, 16 Sep 2020 20:14:18 EST LQ4VvGPH No.536179 Reply
It's not like you'd be any more prepared for civil unrest if you didn't spend all those years doing drugs and having sex. None of us know what to do.
>>
William Carryhood - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 02:29:54 EST StwWjX3r No.536180 Reply
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>>536173
OP again. I went to a Neurologist recently who said my brain scan showed some more advanced damage for someone my age but it wasn't too severe and i've noticed i'm starting to get that "clear" headed feeling back again. One of the positives is i now have time to build a solid work out routine. And yeah, living there again is kinda pointless for me, i ended up alienating all the friends i made there and was pretty much alone by the end of it. Still absorbing just how dire the situation here in the states is.

>>536179
True but i have a few family and old friends that have been extensively prepping for awhile now, i used to think those types of people were being dramatic but now i'm not so sure. I already checked and there's no way i can purchase a gun before the election so i'm just trying to stock up on supplies and whatever survival gear i can get in the meantime
>>
Hamilton Grimworth - Fri, 18 Sep 2020 08:48:51 EST wIV+lz7o No.536192 Reply
>>536179
>None of us know what to do.
Right now people know what to do and are doing the opposite on purpose to spite the people who told them to do it.
>>
Cyril Tootstone - Sun, 20 Sep 2020 14:12:08 EST nHFJj8Qi No.536220 Reply
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>>536114
I don't envy you OP. More than likely there will be riots in the streets when Trump wins again. I will be voting for him because he is the only option on the table in my eyes. A vote for Biden is a vote in favor of violence, legalized PoC privilege status, defunded police, and whatever other crazy shit they plan on doing. If we get a blue wave this election, you wont recognize America after the next few years.

And if that happens, I will likely flee the country. Violence will escalate either way come November. Trump will win fairly, and the left will destroy their cities. If biden gets pushed through then America has been coerced by threat of violence into voting against their own interests. America will be lost. And if you think leftist chimpouts are bad, a conservative chimpout will make it look like childsplay.

I'm armed with 2 long guns and over 1000 rounds, 1 yr+ of food, 1 month of bottled water, physical gold/silver, crypto; and I'm not sure I've done enough. I need to network at gun ranges, find a local militia.

If shit actually does hit the fan this time, the cities will fall to chaos first. When the supply lines get cut off, I expect raiding of the suburbs.

If you believe a *real* civil war is possible in 2020, give pic related a read
>>
Oliver Siddlestone - Sun, 20 Sep 2020 17:49:41 EST 1SSFeKJF No.536222 Reply
>>536220
Given the left have defaced a few statues and killed 2 people including a suicide by a leftist I'd say you have little to fear.

I would be more worried by conservatives hording guns and hundreds of rounds so they can "defend themselves". After the election, whoever wins their entire road will be a killing zone. Though I guess I wouldn't be worried because I'm white so they won't shoot me.
>>
Polly Gigglestodge - Mon, 21 Sep 2020 19:31:55 EST jnas4L6T No.536238 Reply
>>536220

please get out of the country as fast as possible, bootlicking 4th chin immigrant :^)
>>
Walter Clinnerwin - Tue, 22 Sep 2020 23:18:18 EST /a0EWK+P No.536252 Reply
It's not that bad OP, people are just starting to realize how bad it always was
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Nell Gezzleladge - Thu, 24 Sep 2020 16:20:25 EST f6fwwFz+ No.536270 Reply
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>>536238
>bootlicking 4th chin immigrant :^)
pic related. Don't you have a BBC to suck on?

God I forgot how circlejerk this board is. And so you're aware I migrated from here to the real chan where I found biz/pol. Now I have more money than I've ever had in my life. Go figure.
User is currently banned from all boards
>>
Nell Gezzleladge - Thu, 24 Sep 2020 16:27:56 EST f6fwwFz+ No.536271 Reply
>>536222
I like how you conveniently ignore the billion+ dollars in property damage you leftists have done to this country.

https://www.axios.com/riots-cost-property-damage-276c9bcc-a455-4067-b06a-66f9db4cea9c.html

And yes, the leftists have killed at least 19 people directly due to the protests

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jemimamcevoy/2020/06/08/14-days-of-protests-19-dead/#612aa7824de4

Personally I find them responsible for the spikes in violent crime across the country as well. Guess what happens when you defund/defang the police? Seriously, would love to see what MSM lies you parrot back to me on it
>>
Alice Pabblehurk - Tue, 29 Sep 2020 18:41:27 EST 1SSFeKJF No.536302 Reply
>>536301
And for a moment I forgot too, but he's be banned. I mean I just got carried away implying he came across like a murderous crazy racist but that was probably too much too.
>>
Jack Goddlecocke - Wed, 30 Sep 2020 10:48:08 EST 1SSFeKJF No.536304 Reply
>>536303
I mean I was just saying let it go, but your reaction is a bit much. I probably even checked nb but you definitely didn't. OP got his answers ages ago and hasn't come back so let this topic die unless he returns.

nb of course.
>>
Lydia Muddlehuck - Mon, 05 Oct 2020 07:28:54 EST JPmE9dFN No.536324 Reply
dude. now THAT is a fucking trip..hoooooly shit.

fuck whatever bs just happened in this thread.....it is the issue but we'll have to see what happens.

BUT it's been years since I've been on any of the boards. I came here for some type of therapy and goddamn, your story was it.
stay fucking positive, forreal.
appreciate the fact you're still alive and even if the world starts to burn, you can create. don't get back into bad habits, the despair is just wasting time. you are alive, so live and help make this shitstorm less of one..
thanks for the story, I'm high af
>>
Cornelius Hucklegold - Tue, 06 Oct 2020 18:02:45 EST M8WAh8jo No.536334 Reply
>>536114
I've seen the slow decent into fascist chaos for the last 12 years. Nothing new here but time is really not what it seems and most people can't even see how shit everything is and how hard it is trying to work a shit minimum wage job to barely get by when you know everything is going to fall apart soon and you have no idea where to go or be because your family already got left behind in the darkness pre 2012...
>>
Cornelius Senderbury - Tue, 06 Oct 2020 18:21:29 EST JVXbDAlD No.536338 Reply
>>536334
People who have actually been through revolutions don't cheer them on the way you see folks doing here. Only poor people suffer.
>>
Wesley Briblingcocke - Tue, 06 Oct 2020 18:31:28 EST PAIUfKu2 No.536339 Reply
>>536271
What you mean all the jobs the leftists created? Fuck you dude.
>>
Scourge of the West - Fri, 09 Oct 2020 10:32:30 EST HZm1KLNh No.536381 Reply
>>536114
That's dope. I liked that story. I'm going to give it a try. See you back in Thailand.

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